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eclecticopposition · 11 months

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give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

#the manager tells an employee to get the rat some cheese. chine says that cheese is actually bad for rats and some seeds would be better #the manager tells the employee to get the rat some seeds and for chine to get the fuck out of their establishment #chine is a little taken aback by the rudeness but leaves without further issue #runs into lye and es outside and is like “hey look they just gave me some free stuff”#Lyke is like “what???? I got kicked out because I wanted free stuff!”#chine says “I think I just got kicked out too. Maybe that's just what happens?"#lyke says “yeah but you got to keep the stuff!”#“Did you not get to keep your stuff?”#“I mean. Not *all* of it.”#“Huh.”#“They didn't let me keep the stuff I kept on purpose.”#es makes a reasonable sounding remark about how they'd be running a pretty terrible business if they handed everything out for free #everyone should get what they need but these people do have livelihoods to think about #is also putting on lipstick that she definitely just shoplifted #duvall comes out and swears he's never coming back here. is asked if he's also banned for life from the Walmart.#demands what the hell these people were doing in the Walmart to get banned for life #because he saw a man getting real heated about frootie hooties and that's definitely not a real cereal #so if that doesn't meet the bar he's not sure he wants to know what does #sangfielle #friends at the table #Shoop #asks

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man-moth-hook-hand · 1 year

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Welcome to My Nightmare Ch. 3

Things start to pick up. Adam becomes more prevelent to the story, Michael fades out. Perhaps the boys are more than they seem? Maybe you realize things too late?

Side note *This is the length of the two previous chapter combinned, a lot happens*

Masterlist

Chapter Three: I Walk Among the Creatures of the Night

Also, for those who wanted to be tagged!

@the-faceless-bride

@forestcottage

@simpingforthe80s

I didn’t get good sleep last night, thankfully Lucy woke me up. She noticed, making a comment on my undereye bags. She bought my excuse about staying up too late. My mind couldn’t shake that man. He was. . . menacing. Not in a scary way, but in a nonconfrontational way, lurking in the shadows, never emerging to answer my questions. I don’t know what his motive is, why he’s following me, who he is, and why it’s only him and not Paul. He couldn’t possibly look at me through the window, I’m too high up. Right? That bring up my dreams, how is he in them? Why is he reoccurring? What about him makes him so special?

I must be paranoid. I must be. He must have just frightened me; therefore, I’m seeing him everywhere because I’m thinking about him all the time. I mean think about it, if you want your world to change, you must perceive it to be a certain way. If I want him to follow me, I must assume he will, therefore it will happen. It’s like wanting a job promotion really bad, and eventually you get it. After I ran through my logic a few times I came to the conclusion I was being silly.

As I got ready for work, I picked up my ring, earrings, and necklace. Then, I made my way into the small bathroom to check over my outfit and fix my hair. Doing my hair in any way always made me relaxed. It was therapeutic in a way, to move each strand and take my time adjusting small details to change my look. That’s what makes me special after all.

/|\^._.^/|\

Jennifer greeted me with a wave once I made it to the store. “Hey! How was the guy from last night? Did you go home with him. . . “ She questioned while wiggling her brows.

My face crinkled in disgust “Girl, he reeked of weed and asked if I wanted to ‘Hang out with some cool cats.’ Absolutely not!”

“That’s hilarious! I have to tell Adam that.” She walked behind the counter. “Come here, I’ll show you how to open.” She counted money, flipped the signs and lights on, and finally put out the displays. “We always put covers over the glass and the other displays in the back room. Brenda’s always freaking out about people stealing but, I don’t know if she’s ever heard of shoplifting.”

I marveled at the color-coded jewelry around the shop. To the right was the checkout counter with the more expensive jewelry, across there was the children’s and costume, and the mid-range was seated between the piercing station and the counter. Behind the counter was a door labeled EMPLOYEES ONLY. I smiled to myself; perhaps things were turning around for me.

The rest of the day was average, Jennifer had to pierce people’s ear because I wasn’t certified yet. It was a little jarring to see parents come in with their five year olds, or even younger children. My mother took me to get my ears pierced when I was an infant, I couldn’t believe they allowed it too. Five rolled around and James, what you would call a textbook definition of a nerd came in for the night shift with Brenda.

“How did your first day go?” Brenda asked. Today she was dawning green eyeshadow and pink lipstick. Interesting choice.

“Jennifer pierced some peoples ears and everything else seemed pretty regular, I think” I wasn’t really sure how to answer.

“Oh, that’s right! We need to get you to piercing people ears, that’s how I made most of my money, until that other guy came in offering at a cheaper price. He uses guns and that tears the ear, causing it to keloid or heal wrong.” She shook her head in distaste. “If anybody asks why ours are more expensive, that’s why, and they’re real silver and gold. Not that fake nickel shit he’s got.”

“You got it.” I said. I waved my goodbyes to everyone and tried to find my wat to Lucy. She mentioned a video store. I wandered the board walk until I found a store with TV’s and magazines. Max’s Video Store, how original. Inside, I spotted Lucy talking to a young girl with brown curly hair.

“Hey,” I waved to the both of them.

“Hi, (Y/N). this is Maria, my coworker.” Lucy gestured to Maria. She waved in response.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m not trying to rush you, but when do you get off?” I felt a little pushy asking her, but I wanted to just relax after dealing with cranky customers for eight hours.

“Come back in about an hour and a half, ok? Max’ll be here then.”

“You got it!” And with that I went off on my own. Shortly after stepping out of the store, I found Paul, alone again. I wondered if he even knew that white haired guy. He must, they were with each other.

“Hey Lady!” Paul bounced over to me, “What’cha doing?”

“I just got of work, I’m waiting for my ride. How ‘bout you?” I scanned the area, nothing suspicious. . . yet.

“That’s cool, so are you doing anything later?” Paul pursed his lips.

“Paul,” I sighed “I just said I was waiting for my ride.” He was most certainly not the brightest.

“Oh yeah.”

“Anyway, I’ll have to be goin’ now,” I smiled at him. Not a thought was behind those eyes.

“Alright. Well, I got to go too, see ya around squirt!” Paul yelled before dashing into the crowd. Yep, no thoughts, head empty.

I headed inside the video store, Lucy mentioned how her dad didn’t have a TV, but it wouldn’t hurt to look at some movies, right? I spotted Gizmo on the cover of Gremlins, one of my favorite movies. I went to reach for him when someone tapped my shoulder.

“Adam!” I was pleasantly surprised. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much, I just saw you in here and wanted to know if you were busy later.”

“I would but, my ride,” I gestured to Lucy, “I don’t have a ride without her.”

“I have a car,” Adam quickly suggested, “I could take you home if you wanted.”

I thought over it for a moment, “Sure, I think I could work something out, let me tell Lucy.” She was busy talking to a customer,I waited until she was done. “Hey, Lucy, my friend Adam said he would take me home tonight, so you don’t have to.”

“Oh? alright, you kids be careful!” She tried to tell me before we ran out of the store.

“Alright, what’s the plan?” I eagerly look to him.

“Well, I didn’t really plan anything; however, if you’re so inclined to do something, we can go to the beach, maybe star gaze a little?” He looked at me and wiggled his brows, I see where Jennifer got it from.

“Sure, I’d like that.” I had never really had a guy ask me to do something like that, it was romantic instead of some obscene suggestion, or I had hoped so.

Once the ride to the beach was over, Adam brought out a basket from the backseat, almost like he had been secretly planning this. He laid an old mauve purple blanket, which I think was a rich purple at one point. Then he set the basket close to him, bringing out two cans of Pepsi, along with a bag of Doritos for each.

“Seems like you planned this?” I playfully nugged his shoulder.

“What? me? no way,” He laughed at the thought. “Hey, I’ll be back, I have to powder my nose,” Adam smacked his nose as if there were a powder puff there. He seemed to be funnier the longer I was around him.

I laid there looking at the stars trying to decipher how people found the constellations. I mean, this is impressive, right? I feel like I’ve seen the big dipper in three different places. My nonsensical ramblings were soon interrupted by Adam standing ten feet away from me.

“Jesus Christ, Adam!” I clenched my heart for a moment, “Adam?” There was no answer, he looked a little different than before.

“You mind if I join you?” the man asked. He was tall, with long dark brown hair, and conveniently didn’t wear a shirt. His slight New Jersey accent broke the silence “You wanna go for a ride? There’s the bluffs not too far from here.” he suggested.

“No, Uh, my boyfriend’s coming back so I can’t go with you. Plus, my mom’s expecting me home tonight.” I tried to shake the weird stranger off me. I don’t know if he believed me or not, I hoped that he did.

“Can I help you?” Adam’s voice came from the dark.

“No, just wanted to ask the lady if she wanted to go for a ride, I see she’s got that taken care of.” The man seemed to understand that he could not follow me without a fuss. He turned the direction that I think he came from and walked away.

Adam rushed over to me. “Who was that?” He whispered.

“I don’t know,” my heart was beating too fast, I felt it logged in my throat. I looked to where he had gone, and my stomach dropped.

“(Y/N)” Adam tried to get my attention, “(Y/N)!” he shouted.

I looked at him. “he’s gone.”

“Yes, I know-“

“No!” I pointed to where he stood, “He’s gone.”

Adam glanced to where the man stood moments before, nothing. Somehow that was more terrifying than some person being there. Was he watching us from somewhere else? Behind? In the car? Or perhaps he was some sort of creature ready to pounce, waiting for the right moment to catch up off guard.

“Maybe we should do this some other time,” Adam suggested, “Let’s go watch a movie or something.” As we packed up our things as left, I looked once more into the night. Nothing. Perhaps a movie wouldn’t be so bad, it’s just a movie, right? Like now, it’s just a movie, it’s not real.

The only bad thing is that Adam had failed to mention the movie was at his house. “So, what do you want to watch?” He sifted thought the VHS tapes on a shelf.

I looked around the living room before planting myself on the brown couch. “I guess what ever you want to.”

“You’ll love this, It’s one of my favorite movies, besides some of the classis monster favorites.” He pulled out a movie called Fright Night.

“What’s it about?” I asked. the movie had seemed familiar. “I think I saw the trailer for that a couple years ago.”

“So like, there’s the main character Charley, and his girlfriend Amy. Charley gets a new neighbor and thinks he’s a vampire, especially after people start to go missing. Anyway, the vampire tries to seduce Amy.” Adam popped the VHS into the TV.

“What happens at the end?” I asked as Adam plopped next to me. Maybe a horror movie where a young girl is stalked by a vampire wasn’t the best option after the events of the night.

“That’s a surprise! But what I can tell you is that it has an absolutely amazing soundtrack. I have the CD actually, it was hard to find for sure.

Halfway into the movie Adam slung his arm over my shoulder. It was really cute. It was nice to have someone do little gestures to me, it makes life special. “Ya know,” Adam interrupted the movie, “this may be a little forward, but could I kiss you?”

I was absolutely dumfounded for a moment, I think my mouth was open because his expression changed quickly. “If you don’t want to-”

“No, it’s ok. I just don’t really have a lot of practice.” I reassured him.

“You ever kissed anyone before?” He leaned in close, I smelled his cologne.

“Well, yes, but I just don’t kiss many people so I’m not sure if I’m any good.” I stared at his lips, looking at his eyes was too personal.

“I’ll teach you, come here.” Adam put his hand on my cheek, slowly pulling me closer. I placed my hand on his shoulder. His breath stuttered for a moment, our lips barely grazing each other. My heart was beating too fast, my head was hot, and I enjoyed it all too much. When our lips finally met, it didn’t feel like I had expected. We were almost in synch. Almost. Something felt slightly off, like his lips didn’t exactly match mine, perhaps our rhythms were off.

A crash outside brought us out of our kiss. I glanced at the window behind the couch we were sitting on, a flash of white caught my eye. “What was that?” I asked.

“Sorry, we’ve had a bit of a raccoon problem lately. I’ll go check it out.”

“No, that’s ok. I don’t think you should go outside.” I pulled Adam back. “Something just feels off.” I scream on the TV seemed like it was foreshadowing Adam going outside.

“Oh my God, It’s almost morning. I’m sorry but I need to start getting ready for work, we’re one of the only mechanic shops that are open 24/7.” Adam rushed to his room complaining on the way.

I sat on the couch thinking about what had happened. Wasn’t I supposed to feel good? It was a classic love story. He’s the sweet, charming guy and I’m the girl who things eventually work out for, right? I kept wondering what was wrong, this was how things were supposed to be. Every time someone mentioned meeting their partner back home it was like this. Why don’t I get to have my special moment?

Adam emerged from the hallway dressed in a mechanic’s outfit, his name embroidered in white. “I can take you home if you want, it might be on my way to work.” He grabbed his keys and dashed to the door.

“Sure.” I got off the couch and told him the address. I didn’t speak on the ride there. I couldn’t believe he just ignored what happened. The kiss, the noise outside, didn’t it matter? “Goodbye, Adam. Thank you for the ride.

“Hey, you alright?” He grabbed my hand.

“Yes, sorry my mind’s just a little preoccupied. I saw this guy at the concert on the boardwalk a couple of nights ago, and we locked our eyes, like really hard. Ever since then I think I keep seeing him, and running into him. I just feel like I’m being stalked. Ya know” I really didn’t want Adam to think it was the kiss, even thought deep down it was.

“Hey, I watch out for you, ok?” He grabbed my hand, “I have to go to work, but if you need anything here’s where you can reach me.” He scribbled down two numbers. One was labeled HOME and the other AL’S AUTO. I thanked him before going inside. I looked at the clock on the way up the stairs, 5:37 am. Jesus, I was out late. The sun is literally rising.

And with that, another day in paradise had ended.

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swimmingpoolsandmoviestars · 4 years

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I was 16 and had just gotten my driver’s license when my parents very reluctantly let me take their sweet Ford Escort station wagon out on the town by myself for the first time. Don’t know exactly how to explain it except to say that that day I had a really unhealthy need for The Go Go’s “We Got The Beat”. I was kind of in the middle of a cheesy 80s pop music obsession and also in the middle of a fairly serious shoplifting habit. So, I grabbed my Austrian foreign exchange student neighbors, who had been stealing anything that wasn’t nailed down in the great city of Fort Myers, Florida with me and we headed to Kmart on a mission. My dad, who was a German professor, thought the Austrians were good influences on me, teaching me to speak better German, but it was more like they taught me how to procure exotic drugs when The Grateful Dead came through the state and how to put on makeup so you looked old enough, or just plain trashy enough, to get into bars.

When we got to Kmart, we hit the makeup aisle first, scoring some truly unfortunate brown Revlon Color Stay lipstick, that haunts me from old pics to this day, but it was a CD that ultimately did me in. We’d stolen so much over the last year and never gotten caught, had seen so many fake mirrors and cameras that I didn’t think the one over the music section of the store was actually real. I grabbed a CD featuring the song I needed so badly and put it in my backpack. Turned out the camera was super real--I realized this the second a very large security guard grabbed me by the arm as I was walking out and said that I shouldn’t try to run, which was exactly what the Austrian foreign exchange students did. He dragged me to a windowless back room where he told me I would have to wait while the manager called the police and my parents. That was when I started crying and begging him not to call my dad, telling him that he beat me and for stuff way less severe than this, so imagine what he would do when he found out I had stolen something. (My dad totally didn’t beat me, but teenage girls are manipulative, dramatic nightmares and I was one of the worst). He bought it and said because I was a minor he still had to call my parents but, since all I had stolen, or been caught stealing, was the CD, he wouldn’t call the police.

I waited in the back room for about a half hour before my dad walked in red faced and screaming, definitely looking like the kind of guy who beat his kids. He made me give him my driver’s license and then tried to rip it in half, which, was fairly impossible and just made him angrier and redder as he tried to twist the laminated plastic in two. While this was happening, the security guard and I locked eyes across the room and he mouthed “I’m sorry”. Eventually my dad gave up and calmed down and the manager made me sign some papers that said I was never allowed to shop in this particular Kmart, nor was I ever allowed to work in any Kmart ever for the rest of my life—something the adults in the room seemed to think was a very serious consequence, but my snotty teenage self was like: Um, fine? When we got home, my dad grabbed a pair of scissors and dramatically cut my license to pieces while my mom cried. They told me that I would have to paint the entire house by myself as punishment and when I was done I could get a license again. I wish I could say a lesson was learned, but I spent the next couple of months listening to cheesy 80s music as I painted the house, which turned out to be a task I really enjoyed. And I kept stealing, though less frequently and brazenly for a while longer until one day I just stopped, not really because of some moral reckoning, I just didn’t do it anymore.

Years later after I moved to LA, I randomly found myself at the grand opening of a dungeon in an Orange County office park, because who could say no to an invite like that? And I was checking out all the themed rooms they had, eventually wandering into a nursery, where I saw a man in a diaper chatting up The Go Go’s Jane Wiedlin. At first I wasn’t sure if it was her, because that seemed like a random place to happen upon a Go Go, but then I heard her tiny adorable voice and there was no question. I waited for diaper guy to go and then very excitedly told her the story of how her song led to my unhealthy craving, juvenile delinquency and banishment from KMart. She laughed and then we went and watched the chunky mistress of the dungeon swing from hooks in her back as she did some bad interpretive dance to a Tori Amos song in the air above all her creepy slaves.

I don’t know if there’s a moral to this story, I mean, the 16 year old me who was stuck in that windowless room in the back of KMart would have been thrilled to know that she’d end up in another windowless room across the country all those years later with a leather clad Go Go. Maybe it’s that sometimes stealing is good…I mean, at the very least it can be an excellent conversation starter.

#thegogos #themoth #storytelling

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nnq · 5 years

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modern!au k(lance)

they're all in their 20's except for Shiro who's 30 and coran who's 50

first of all. miss me with that 'pining roommate' shit. I love miscommunication and making characters that r sexy bffs with one another

Lance meets Nyma through a Craigslist ad he put up saying he needed a roommate. the moment they met was a tragedy for everyone but them because they're that powerful and beautiful

lance with tousled hair, wearing a half-unbuttoned silk shirt and designer jeans, Michael kors sunglasses pushed up atop his head, arm wrapped around nyma: hi guys this is my roommate, nyma!

nyma, with her blonde 3-ft long box braids down her back, perfectly manicured red nails, bodycon dress and loubitons, hand on lances waist: hey

allura, shaking and on the verge of tears: STOP MAKING US LOOK POOR AND UGLY

Lance is in school for marine biology and Nyma works as a hairdresser and the both of them are small beauty gurus on YouTube that collab with one another

lance: hey guys we're going to be trying out the new anastasia pallete we got today :)!

nyma: and by got we mean shoplifted from sephora

lance: NYMA YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT

they're also insta baddies and both gender non-conforming baddies. Nyma is a nonbinary lesbian icon and lance is a nonbinary bicon.... those are like the fucking BEST senses of style

anyone with eyes can see that nyma is into and ONLY into girls but of course... heteronormativity.

rolo: I still don't get why you're dating lance. he's super annoying.

nyma: he doesn't bitch nearly as much as you even when he's got my cock in his ass

they do this thing where when people assume they're a couple they pretend they're some kind of kink couple and freak everyone out

which is why when hunk and pidge meet nyma they're like :eyes: but when nyma flirts with pidge lance doesn't even bat an eye and then lance starts pining about Keith's greasy mullet and his bags under his eyes and nymas got this look on her face that perfectly resembles a man who's lost all sense of normalcy and righteousness in his life and now sits in a bar every night listening to this dumb romance novel type shit and then pidge and hunk are like. oh. no they're just gay.

speaking of keith. he's one of those gays. one of the quirky emo gays that never sleeps and listens to 'coffee and cigarettes' on repeat and has like 3 strings of lights in his room and not only is an art major but ALSO a photographer. and yet somehow he still has the will to wake up at 5 am every morning and go to the gym like some kind of HEATHEN.

Lance knew Keith in high school for 3 years until he got expelled for fighting at the end of his junior year. He was also universally crushed on and was the bad boy jock of the school with a heart of gold so naturally Lance pretended to despise him so he could pine for him in peace

that all goes down the drain when Lance recognizes Keith in one of his classes and goes through the five stages of grief because a) he's hot and b) Lance is openly bi now so he doesn't have an escuse to not tolerate him

(He wasn't gonna do anything about it until he was put in a group with Keith a few weeks into class and he off handedly mentioned he went to Keiths high school, and Keith claimed he didn't remember him, and Lance was just a tad bit upset but was gonna leave it at that except after like 5 days of working together Keith slams his fists into the table and is like 'HOLY FUCK LANCE MCCLAIN?' And Lance is like. w. What.)

turns out Keith does remember lance. very vividly, actually. because he was the guy that everyone kind of had a crush on because he was so nice and charming to everyone he met, and Keith was SO gone for him. he just didn't recognize him tbh, which makes sense, bcuz in high school lance wore blue contacts and had straight hair and now he just wears glasses occasionally and leaves his hair wavy. Keith is gay and stupid don't blame him

keith, bursting into Shiro and Adams apartment at 2 pm: SHIRO HOLY FUCK

adam, bags under his eyes, underneath the covers of him and shiros bed: good fucking god not again

I'm tired of talking about ppl other than Lance and nyma though so I'm gonna talk about them for a bit because im love

as I said Lance has wavy hair and his actual eye color is brown but as he was growing up he was hella insecure about it that's why he wore blue contacts.... nyma caught him once trying to put them on again and put an end to All That Real Quick

nyma has brown eyes too and they're super dark, almost black, and that shits breathtaking bro. she usually has her real hair dyed blonde all the time and permed but she also likes to wear wigs and get braids too because she knows she looks damn good in them. everyone is jealous.

lance has tons of super light freckles. Enough said. nyma has a birthmark on her hip that's kind of shaped like a horse if you look at it from the right way

lance: you were a horse girl as a kid weren't u

nyma: how fucking dare. how fucking dare you say that. I really do have to laugh.......

nyma: obviously I was a warrior cats stan

lance's sense of fashion ranges from 'i went to California for a week once and now I can't stop wearing sweatpants and slides' to 'It's surprising I haven't gotten robbed at this point'. Lance is a scholarship baby so all the money he saved up through countless jobs and the one he already has at a coffee shop almost exclusively goes to clothes and kombucha

Nymas sense of style is definitely more on the eccentric side but since she looks good in EVERYTHING she gets away with it. think dollskill but with more neon colors and designer. she's the kind of person that never wears the same shade of lipstick for a whole month and has a box full of makeup palletes that are almost untouched and everyone who has seen it is both jealous and in wonder FENTYWAYS...

Keith goes over to lance's apartment for a project of sorts and immediately assumes that Lance and Nyma are a thing (they're very platonically affectionate, Nyma will kiss lance's cheek and they cuddle sometimes) which is disappointing but it's not a surprise considering Lance is so Lance and everyone else acts like they are dating so that must be the case, right?

lmao you thought.

nyma: holy shit. holy Fuck. God, allura is so hot. I would probably die if she brushed past me. I would die happily knowing I've been blessed by the touch of an angel.

lance: yeah haha she's really pretty.

keith, struggling to not choke on his coffee hearing All This at 9:31 A.M. in starbucks:

Keith asks if he can take photos of the two of them for his photography insta and they both jump on it so they can flex being sexy and afterwards Lance thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and Keith is sent REELING into gay mayhem.

lance: do you think that was like..... too much.

nyma: i think men are dumb that's what.

I mean u can't really blame Keith because Lance and Nyma are constantly joke-flirting with one another on social media and are in almost every one of the others photos in some way, or at least tagged, so by the time Keith actually works up the nerve to ask about that, it's been WEEKS since Lance kissed him and he's been miserably failing to ignore it

keith: so.... how's nyma doing?

lance: she's good! She's spent all day dying one of her wigs so she went for a coffee run lol. probably will hang with allura and shay later too

keith: and.... that doesn't make you jealous?

lance: LOL no.... they could never compete with me (talking about being Nyma's best friend)

keith: oh.... well, it's good that you trust each other a lot in your relationship.... you seem like a really good boyfriend

lance: wat the fuck did you just say.

as soon as lance explains that nyma is not his gf and they're just bffs Keith is like ohthankgod.jpg and almost accidentally asks lance on a date before he stops himself and is like.... dumb gay bitch calm DOOOWWWNN

after that it becomes very obvious that nyma and lance r just friends at least for Keith mostly through dumb shit they say to one another

lance, sitting with hunk, pidge, and Keith at the library: hey guys wanna see something cool.

pidge: go for it

lance, clearing his throat: she think she bad but I'm better, these bitches tryna play catch up-

nyma, coming out of nowhere: SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN I'M TALKING LIL BITCH, PUT YO HEAD DOWN WHEN YOU TALK TO A PIMP-

Nyma and Lance have self-care nights every Friday, sometimes Allura or Shay will come, and very RARELY Keith if only to spend time with Lance. also? Allura and Shay are dating, die mad about it.

They do waxing, exfoliation, mud masks, moisturizing treatments, hair masks, painting nails.... need I go on. it's basically whatever they want to do that week and when Keith reluctantly agrees to participate one day Lance goes mental

lance: OK so here's what I'm thinking. it's obvious you haven't really had a self care day for a while, which is like, fine, you do you, but holy shit are your split ends bad. I was thinking maybe I could trim them and then we could do a hair mask? Oh! A face mask would be good as well, even though you've practically got perfect skin. I'd offer to wax but for first timers the pain is a bitch to handle on the face. I'm not sure if you'd be an acrylic kind of guy but I have some black nail polish that I could put on- wow, your hands are really big compared to mine, and they're so soft, haha, isn't that crazy? so what do you think?

keith, still reeling from the fact that lance is going to touch his hair, face, and hands in the next several hours: uh......yeah..... sounds great.

nyma, sitting on lance's bed in nothing but a bra and sweatpants, smoking a blunt and readjusting her sheet mask: *long exhale* christ

Shay got Lance into the whole healthy organic food thing and in turn he got Nyma into it so they're both the bitches who drink nothing but Fiji water and almond milk and will offer you a plate of sliced cucumbers and tomatoes as a snack. we Stan a vegan couple.

keith: these are actually really good.

nyma: we usually put them on our eyes, but go off I guess.

keith:

nyma: nah I'm just fucking with you, we have different cucumbers for that

by the end of the night Keith feels like he's been cleaned by a car wash and he's dizzy from all of lance's thoughtless affection and when lance says he can stay the night because it's already late, Keith mindlessly blurts out 'only if it's with you' and nymas like.... um. Wig.

keith, laying stiff as a board on one side of lance's bed: uh

lance: oh my God you gay bitch get over here and spoon me. also kiss me on the fucking lips bro.

Nyma owns a cat named Beezer that she stole from her old roommate (rolo) but calls her beebo because quote 'beezer is so fucking lame bro i hate men'. Lance owns a Russian blue mix called, you guessed it, Blue, that he found stuck in his apartments basement only a few days after moving in. Nyma and Lance are WEAK

lance: ohhhhh look at my pretty baby sitting on the table all cute and relaxed!!! look at that baby!!! fantastic stuff!

nyma, putting her head on beebos belly: You Are So Soft And So Chubby I Would Die For You

pidge would also die for the both of them

OK I'm tired and uninspired so I'll stop here but I MAY ADD MORE LATER

#klance #voltron #voltron tw #voltron au #lance #keith

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