#is so fucking funny to me. like yes. of course they have hotsprings

[natjennie]

listen.. you can say jaskier is the “viscount de lettenhove” as many times as you want. type away at your little fanfics about the nobles and the fancy banquets and the family aristocracy and what have you. I will never, not ever, understand what the title of viscount actually means, and I have absolutely no fucking idea where lettenhove is. this means nothing to me.

#a jennie original #every fanfic addresses his nobility a little differently #and its like fuck any of these might be right #i have no idea #where the fuck is lettenhove #oxenfurt? ive heard of it! vaguely! #also the tag on ao3 thats like #fanon kaer morhen hotsprings #is so fucking funny to me. like yes. of course they have hotsprings #and its always really just eskel and lambert and vesemir that people mention #so its just like three frat bros and their weird dad #having the only lore come from the show and fic is... an experience #i need like an official detailed map please #ONE MORE THING #where the FUCK is rivia #and is it really where geralt grew up? before kaer morhen? #why are they allowed to keep that part of their identity? #does he think of rivia as like.. home? #i want so much more information

[mulletmitsuya]

Bonten texts

Warnings: swearing, rinsanzu (idk if that's what their ship name is called), mentions of cheating, suggestive themes, mentions of drugs, mentions of toxicity?? idk but yeah

Dm between Sanzu and Rindou

Sanzu: hey um I need to tell you something

Rindou: oh okay. what's up

Sanzu: it's pretty bad

Rindou: what did you do

Sanzu: .....I cheated on you

Sanzu: with your brother...

Rindou: hold up

Rindou: cheated on me???????

Sanzu: yes I know I'm sorry I'll never do it again give me another chance Ran isn't even that attractive I swear you're the only one for me

Sanzu: with the exception of Mikey of course

Rindou: Sanzu are you serious?

Sanzu: I'm sorry man shit happens ig like I really didn't mean to I was trippin sack and he kind of looks like you

Rindou: No like are you fr, this isn't some kind of joke? Like are you high rn??

Sanzu: Yes but I swear I'm not making this up I'm sorry

Rindou: WHEN DID WE START DATING??? LIKE WDYM YOU CHEATED ON ME THAT WOULD REQUIRE ME TO BE YOU'RE BOYFRIEND WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT RN

Sanzu: ok so I cheat on you once and you deny we were ever in love. that's low rin

Rindou: IN LOVE????

Rindou: I'M SO CONFUSED I DONT UNDERSTAND

Rindou: ALSO IM NOT GAY??????

Sanzu: yes you are

Sanzu: if you aren't gay then why are we a couple

Rindou: ???????????

Rindou: WHEN

Sanzu: this isn't funny rin🙁

Sanzu: ok so now you're gonna leave me on read okay

Bonten Groupchat

Rindou: Does anyone think me and Sanzu are a couple??????

Takeomi: 🤨

Koko: this is a fucking work related groupchat

Koko: also ???????

Kaku: omg I'm so happy for you guys 😍🤗☺️

Ran: why do you text like that

Ran: and you and Sanzu are a couple? 😟

Sanzu: Yeah and what happened between me and Ran didn't mean anything Rindou please

Ran: 💀

Rindou: WE AREN'T TOGETHER THO???? IM NOT GAY HARUCHIYO

Koko: this is embarrassing😟

Rindou: no fr I don't understand what's going on is this a joke

Sanzu: you're literally breaking my heart rn

Rindou: WHA-

Mikey: shut the fuck up. if you guys wanna talk about this shit make another groupchat or smth, idc

Sanzu: sorry Mikey

Ran: ok so Sanzu thinks him and Rindou are dating, why is that exactly?

Sanzu: when we are sitting together in the hotsprings he looked at me and told me my mullet was nice

Rindou: I WAS FILLING IN THE AWKWARD SILENCE

Rindou: AND WHY WOULD THAT MEAN WE'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Sanzu: you're also a lot nicer to me than the others

Takeomi: you really need to lay off the drugs man

Sanzu: why do you always feel the need to include yourself in conversations that have nothing to do with you

Sanzu: go smoke another pack of cigarettes or smth

Takeomi: 😐

Koko: Mikey please just kill him, we don't need him here

Sanzu: you're a homophobe

Sanzu: nvm you're the gayest mf I've ever seen actually

Sanzu: the embodiment of homosexuality

Sanzu: what's that internalized homophobia doing for you

Sanzu: stfu and go project akane on to another blonde or smth it's obvious you're bored and lonely ever since inupi left your toxic ass

Ran: STOP 😭

Kaku: 😰

Koko: what the actual fuck is wrong with you

Rindou: ok so this conversation took a turn for the worst

Takeomi: no infighting

Sanzu: you're literally so old please just leave the texting to us

Sanzu: you're lungs will collapse soon, go rest

Sanzu: and idk Koko, maybe ask yourself the same question and do some self evaluation?🧐

Mikey: I'm so fucking tired of all of you

Sanzu: and ok rindou I never liked you anyway, you're mullet's musty and it just looks like you put a jellyfish on your head

Sanzu: also who the fuck does the splits while in a gang fight

Sanzu: I've seen you do it more than once and it's weird

Sanzu: bye

*sanzu has left the chat*

Rindou: no because what's wrong with him

Koko: I'll kill him istg

Kaku: but why did him and ran sleep together tho

Ran: he gives good head

Rindou: we didn't need to know that

Mikey: 3

Takeomi: ???

Mikey: 2

Ran: ok I'm out

Takeomi: sorry Mikey we'll go

Rindou: sorry

Kaku: sorry 😞

Koko: even tho this isn't my fault sorry ig

Mikey: just leave

#bonten groupchat #bonten texts #rinsanzu #not really but yes actually #ransanzu too ig? #tokyo revengers manga #tokyo revengers manga spoilers #bonten #tokyo revengers texts #i probably mischaracterized some of them sorry #is that even a word #please dont take this seriously i just wanted to laugh #sanzu haruchiyo #sano manjiro #kakucho hitto #that's his name right? #rindou haitani #ran haitani #hajime kokonoi #tokyo revengers spoilers #sorry if theres any grammar errors #sanzu x rindou

[purple-possibilities]

For your "Send Me a Character" could you do Tenzo if no one has asked yet? I hate that you are sick! I hope you feel better soon, Captain. I'd make you chicken noodle soup and tell you sweet MadaKaka stories if you weren't so far away.

Aww thank you berry!  You know just what a girl needs to feel better lol!  Also, I keep switching between Yamato and Tenzou, because I can never decide on what to call him.  He wants to be called Yamato, but I personally like Tenzou better, but I want to respect this fictional character’s wishes, so I call him Yamato, but then the ask framed him as Tenzou so idk here i am, floating along.

First impression

No. No no nonono.  I want Kakashi.  I don’t want this whoever he is, bring back Kakashi.  So what, he can make a box and has a scary face, who would honestly be scared by that it’s dumb. He’s dumb.  Where’s Kakashi?  Why is Kakashi gone? I don’t care I want Kakashi bring him back bringhimbackbringhimbaaaaaack

Impression now

My wonderous tree child, love of my life, apple of my eye, poor, precious baby who has been abadoned by his creator and forced to become a joke while he follows around the source of his trauma, you deserved better.  This world was not good enough for you.  Sweet angel, I want only soft and lovely things for you.  Also, boy is cut.  Have you seen those arms?  Did you watch the filler episode where he’s soaking in an undergound hotspring shirtless (during the arc where they’re shipping him out with Naruto to the Turtle Island in Lightening)?  DID YOU SEE THAT?  Because that was when I started thinking ol’cat eyes was attractive.

Favorite moment

When Naruto, Kakashi, and Tenzou were at Ichiraku, and Yamato was trying to get Kakashi to pay the bill because he’s the upperclassman, and Kakashi tricks my poor, sweet, lovely, marshmellow Tenzou into paying for their meal.  Precious child, you’re too good and pure for this world.  So much love for Yamato.

Idea for a story

Tenzou and Tobirama meet.  They bond over having the same face-plate, and being practical ninja who take safety seriously.  Alright, alright, a serious one.  Tenzou was born Senju Nawaki.  Dazou (being an utter bastard) totally fucking kidnapped him for experimentation, and switched him with another baby (who becomes the canon Nawaki.  I’m going to say Orochin wasn’t a total ass at this point and wouldn’t have experimented on Nawaki for Tsunade’s sake, so Dazou never told him the truth of the child’s lineage). That is why Tenzou has the Wood Release.  Not because Orochimaru’s experiments were successful, but because Tenzou had the ability (or latent ability) in the first place.  The experiments would have killed anyone else, but the Uzumaki longevity kept him alive.  The child who replaced him and is canonically known as Nawaki died because he was not an Uzumaki (like Tsunade is, by Mito).  It made canon Nawaki unable to withstand the same levels of trauma, which led to his death at a young age.  This gets uncovered after ROOT is brought to pieces, after the war, and Tsunade and Tenzou develop the sibling relationship they should have had from the start.  It’s about mutual healing, and while Tenzou isn’t a replacement for the boy Tsunade loved like a brother, he is a chance at having a family again.  He becomes Senju Yamato, and Tsunade is always teasing him to give her nieces and nephews.  Yamato blushes redder than a tomato every time, of course. “N-n-ne-nee-sama!  D-don’t say things like that!”  "Stop it with the ‘sama,’ otouto!  Call me neechan” “bu-but Hokage-i mean-nee-sama, I can’t!  You’re the hokage!” and then Tsunade gives the hat over to Kakashi because she just wants to live a peaceful life with her new brother and also so Yamato will stop having excuses to address her as her ‘sama,’ but it’s a constant struggle.

Unpopular opinion

I don’t know how unpopular this is, but it’s the one I’ve got;  Yamato being forced to follow Orochimaru around isn’t funny.  Let me say that again for those of you in the back;  

YAMATO BEING FORCED TO FOLLOW OROCHIMARU AROUND ISN’T FUNNY!

Look, I get it.  It’s a cartoon.  But the idea of having to trail the person who abused me by torturing me as a lab experiment so soon after I just finished being another madman’s lab experiment because of the shit the first guy did to me is so fucked up.  Can you imagine, having to face your abuser while recovering from another string of abuse?  I mean, he was a child, he was helpless.  Maybe becoming a ninja helped with that.  He got strong.  He can protect himself.  Never again will he be taken in by a psycho trying to use his DNA—OH WAIT HE FUCKING WAS!  He was hooked up to a crazy tree, had the life pretty much sucked out of him because of the fucking DNA Orochishitface put in him, was made to be helpless again, and now it’s cool for him to be spying on the single person responsible for everything bad that’s ever happened to him, and it’s supposed to be funny?  It’s cruel.  And yes, ok, he’s a fictional character.  I get it.  But you know what? It’s dumb storytelling.  You basically erased the character’s past for a gag.  There were a million other things Yamato could have been doing.  Have him working in the Hokage’s office protecting Kakashi.  Give him a Family and make him a Tree Dad (Shizune is single, there you go.  Let’s paste together a relationship for him.  He’s interacted with her more than Kiba has interacted with the chick they got to be his wife).  Fuck, maybe Yamato is too traumatised and so he opens an orphanage so that no children will have to go though what he did.  Maybe Yams goes on a journey to find himself, collecting street urchins as he goes.  Maybe he opens up a Flower Shop and is now Rivals with Ino because his flowers and plants are always better (she complains all the time over him ‘cheating’ and sends Sai out to sabotage him.  There are constant mini-wars between the Yamanakas and Tenzou.  He’s usually ahead, because any damage they cause to his store he can rebuild in a second, while they actually have to rebuild (or wait for Yamato to feel guilty enough to fix it for them—Sakura is always trying to convince him to leave it; anything to one up Ino).  Maybe Yams starts growing herbs and stuff for the hospital?  Maybe the story I mentioned in the last bit comes to pass.  I don’t know, but I just thought of those on the fly and they’re already better ideas than being forced into a “comedy” routine with fucking Oroshitfucker.

Favorite relationship

We don’t really get to see many of his relationships except with Kakashi, so that wins by default.  I do like that they both kind of saved each other—Kakashi saving Tenzou from ROOT was just as important as Tenzou saving Kakashi from himself.  Both of them were drowning, smothered by traumas and hurts and just shitty fucking lives, and then they rescued each other.  So it started off very balanced between the two of them, they were on even footing.  Of course, Tenzou—who had never really had a relationship up to that point—puts distance between them by giving Kakashi a position of power over him (even if it’s just by calling him senpai) and kind of ruins that.  You can’t really build a steady, healthy relationship when there’s an uneven power dynamic in place.  Kakashi is always trying to get Yamato to address him without the honourific, but poor Tenzou is just like but…but…you saved me senpai I love you *heart eyes* and Kakashi is just like why do I always attract the weird ones?  What’s kind of tragic, is that Tenzou’s gratefulness and admiration towards Kakashi is was makes him want to address Kakashi as his senpai, but it’s that show of adoration and respect that is keeping Kakashi at a distance.  In this way, Yamato is the obstacle keeping himself from what he wants.  Poor tree man :’(

Favorite headcanon

This is actually something @fineillsignup​ wrote (I’m pretty sure?  I hope so), but I love the idea of Yamato calling Kakashi ‘Hokage-senpai’ instead of ‘Hokage-sama.’  It’s cute and super Yamato and I love it.  It’s official, this is how Tenzou addresses Kakashi.  Fight me.

Here is the ask! Send in a character!  Up next is Gai, then Genma, Hidan, Adult!Obito, Rock Lee, and Ino!

Already done: Madara, Kakashi, Shino

#yamato tenzou #thecalamityqueen #character ask #answered asks #ask meme #so much love for yamato #sibi talks about naruto #yamato #tenzou #tenzo #yamato tenzo