#it was really disturbing and it was about abortion. fuck the church

[randomnameless]

Bcs Nopes retconned one of the things I really liked about FEH’s Fodlan content namely Moon Gradivus (B!Dimitri calls it his father’s lance!) -

What if Macuil yeeting Lambert from his lawn had more consequences than just a footnote?

Like, imagine Macuil sleeping/napping/counting clouds peacefully in Sreng, then a bunch of armored humans are approaching, but instead of targetting him to steal treasure, they just start to fight and all next to his resting place -

He tells them to fuck off far from here, but Lambert doesn’t really understand what is happening, there’s a giant beast calling him a thief.

Before being yeeted away, he merely told the giant beast he was no thief, but the magic beast seemed super pissed and angry, and told him he stole what he is using as a weapon.

Returning to Faerghus after talking a bit to Rodrigue and Matthias about the aborted Sreng campaign - and the giant beast he met - Lambert has doubts, and rides alone, with Aredbhar, to the temple where he met the giant beast.

Greeted by some “do you really wish to die stupid human”, King Lambert explains how this is a Relic and the Church of Seiros said Relics were “gifted” by the Goddess, so he didn’t steal it. But the Goddess also sent the Immaculate One, her messenger, to help humans, so is he one of the Sacred Beasts, like the Immaculate One?

Macuil wants to erase him on spot for 1/distrubing his nap 2/being the descendant of an elite 3/daring to compare him to his fool of a sister but then Lambert saves his hide by making a proposal : right now he needs the power of the Relics to protect his country from invasions and war by other states, but when he’ll have achieved peace and Faerghus will be safe and secure, he promises it, he will return the Relic to him.

Birdie doesn’t believe him - humans are worthless after all - but is amused, so he’ll take the bait. He’ll pretend to wait here until that human returns the relic, but when he obviously won’t and his fool of a sister will come for her thousand year visit, he’ll rub it in her face that humans are worthless because look this one promised something and never upheld his part of the bargain.

Of course, Lambert loses his head and never returns.

AG verse : Dimitri hears something about a giant white beast who helped the Church escape Garreg Mach ? Rodrigue wonders if it was the Immaculate One, Lambert also mentionned seeing it once in a desert, and he talked about an oath made to one of the Goddess’s envoy but he never explained more.

Wanting to fulfill his Father’s oath, Dimitri wants to go on expedition in the desert to meet that beast, under Sylvain and Matthias’ combined “plz no the desert is in Sreng why the fuck do you want to go there we already have a war at our door”.

While Seteth and Rhea are apparently arguing about something (“what have I told you again about transforming??? Now people saw you!” “It wasn’t me! I hate deserts!”) Flayn pops up and joins Dimitri’s party, saying that if a sacred beast is there then she wants to met them.

(Ashe thought they were going to meet the Immaculate One, but Flayn spoke a bit too fast and said Lady Rhea is in the Cathedral if he wants to see her, which puzzled Ashe, why is Flayn talking about Lady Rhea?)

Happens what happens, Birdie wants to slaughter new “thieves” disturbing his nap (”stupid humans I can’t even sleep 20 years without them bothering me??”) but then he sees his beloved niece, who introduces him to her new “companions” as the “Source of magic” so he is suddenly in a good mood and doesn’t want to kill them all.

Even a majority of them are thieves.

Dimitri ultimately makes the greatest mistake ever, calling Macuil the “Immaculate One” - but he isn’t yeeted away, Birdie merely notes that this stupid Blaiddyd human never learns, he told him last time he was not his “fool of a sister”.

Felix calls him out, it’s the first Dimitri met him, right?

Apparently, this Sacred Beast (the Wind Caller Annette heard!) met a human with “yellow hair” and the “stench” of Blaiddyd not so long ago, but it’s not like he bothers remembering every human he met - Dimitri introduces himself as that man’s son, King Dimitri, son of King Lambert. And per his oath, he is here to, uh, do what his Father couldn’t?

“Return what you call a Relic”

Flayn guesses where this is going, and asks her Uncle (Dedue raised a brow, her Uncle?) to please let it go, those people aren’t the people they used to know, and right now they need power to protect themselves from the Empire

“The what?”

For the first time in 1100 years, Macuil laughs when he hears Adrestia declared war on the Church of Seiros and the rest of Fodlan “tell me Rhea isn’t dead yet, I need to laugh at her!” and is so happy at those humans who made his day (or decade) that he tells the blonde human with a stupid shiny armor - the Blaiddyd - he can find a new lance in the ruins, he finished it “just in case you humans respected your promise, I made it for the other human but you should be able to use it, to protect your people or country or whatever instead of using the relic”.

Then he flies away - after correcting Felix that no, it was not Saint Indech who made the Holy Weapons the Saints used during the war, “Dechi” only made stupid lumps of metal, what made them “strong weapons” were his spells.

Dimitri is puzzled, should he really use this lance? Will the Church of Seiros accept it? Flayn tells him not to worry, besides, this lance is like the proof King Lambert managed to make a first step towards reconciliation between two parties, if he managed to make the Wind Caller trust him, then everything is possible.

Vowing to walk in his Father’s steps, Dimitri names his new weapon “Moon Gradivus” for some reason, and calls it “his father’s lance”.

Downsides - Seteth is unable to join the war effort for the next two weeks, because he has to prevent his siblings from fighting - more precisely Rhea from punching Macuil because he gets on her nerves and keeps on making fun of her decision, back then, to trust humans, doubly so because the current war is led by an Hresvelg.

of course, he won’t be playable.

#fodlan AU #lizard family time? #Birdie stuff #i kept on thinking about it #in FEH B!Dimitri calls his weapon his father's lance #but in Nopes Aredbhar is apparently what he has left from his father? #and so I wonder #if we had one person who knew in the modern times or would have reacted this way upon kind of learning things about relics #it'd be Lambert - who met Birdie #and maybe Birdie would have made a new weapon for him #'this way' being returning the relic to one of the Sacred Beasts #the IO is known all around Fodlan #maybe the Wind Called is known too? #I mean the background is kind of contradictory on those accounts #everyone is stupid for Macuil #humans and family included save for Cethleann #FE16 #3 Nopes #sort of #I still find it sad that we didn't saw Indech'n'Macuil in Nopes #I mean in AG #the rest of Nopes doesn't exist lol #at least I wish it didn't #nopes nonsense

[kiruuuuu]

Doc/Lion oneshot in which a secret comes out which Lion would much rather have kept from the rest of Rainbow. (Rating T, angst + happy ending, ~2.4k words) - written for @big-r6s-fan!! Thank you very much again for commissioning me 💗 I enjoyed myself writing this :)

.

Lion was 15 when lying became a necessity.

Before, it had been a fancy, a brief display of power: he could deceive people if he wanted, but it was no more than a trump card he was never forced to play. When he went out with his friends, his parents hardly showed enough interest or worry, making a lie redundant, and his peers didn’t really care either about his religious upbringing or other interests. He felt being the younger sibling keenly, and Sophie oftentimes reminded him of all the things she wasn’t allowed to do at his age, unaware of how much he actually took advantage of this freedom.

Many things happened at 15 which interfered with this dynamic, deeply disturbed his relationship not only with his family but also his friends. He stole his dad’s car for a joyride and ended up getting caught. The parent of an ex-friend he long ditched for being a teacher’s pet saw him drinking together with older kids. He snuck into the school’s chapel and pissed in the holy water. He started smoking, lost his virginity, and shoplifted. His parents didn’t find out about all of it, but they did find out about enough, gathered clues from half-hearted responses and all the details he omitted, saw it in his face. He had to get better at lying, if only to trick their system of regular texts and calls, checking homework, rigid curfew.

Not only that, he learnt to keep secrets to prevent ridicule. Just like most of his friends, he claimed to be an atheist since they were the loudest group and often harassed others for believing – in truth, he doubted yet hadn’t faltered. Church involvement repelled him as did the strict moral code, but he never fully gave up the idea of a higher power. He kept quiet about liking some of the catchy songs on the radio, about his crush on the prettiest girl in his class, about enjoying some of his classes, about his reading habits. He didn’t want to be uncool, so he went along with his peers, easily agreeing and keeping most of the things he truly held dear close to his heart instead of on his sleeve.

It resulted in fewer problems. His parents thought him converted, his friends thought him amiable and he started to enjoy telling lies.

One of his friends was already 18, owned a car and lived alone – in Lion’s eyes, he was the pinnacle of maturity, something to strive towards. It didn’t matter his vehicle was on the verge of falling apart and that his flat stunk of stale weed and had no wallpaper and that he worked in a supermarket; he could stay up whenever he wanted, had his own money, and could go wherever he pleased. Not only that, he also never took no for an answer. No matter how hare-brained the plan, he was on board, no matter how unachievable the dream, he gave support and encouragement. The little word which Lion had heard one too many times from his parents lately was missing from his vocabulary.

At some point, his friend told him to take his clothes off. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. This, too, Lion never disclosed to anyone.

Just like the fact that he liked it.

.

Years took their toll on him. One of the very few things he kept from his adolescence is his taste in music which he doesn’t readily share with others from his church. He doesn’t speak about his faith with his colleagues. The extent of his escapades has never reached his parents’ ears. Not once has he told any of his girlfriends about the men with whom he fooled around. At times, it eats at him, every little secret, every little lie another bite out of his conscience, and though he’s trying his best to follow the commandments, it’s a habit he simply can’t kick. It spares him so many intrusive, difficult questions that it’s just not worth giving up.

There’s one man in particular who seems keen on testing his limits, however. There’s no reaction from him when Lion attempts to change the topic, every excuse merely makes him dig deeper, every wall that’s thrown up causes him to redouble his efforts of scaling it – once he’s identified an issue, he refuses to let go until he’s received a satisfactory response and his bluntness frankly intimidates Lion. He has trouble dealing with it, walked off a couple of times instead of opening up but with time realised that judgement never followed. That his concessions were never met with disdain. That his bareness was reciprocated in kind.

It’s hard to accept that the one person who carefully dismantles the web of lies, half-truths and excuses he weaves as protection used to be his enemy.

But by now, he’s starving for affirmation and takes what he can gets without seeming desperate, and when Doc refuses to back down even when confronted with some of Lion’s unsavoury past, he eventually gives in. Hands himself over. Allows Doc to rummage through the myriad of memories he usually keeps under wraps, and watches helplessly as the other man treats it more like a historical museum than contemporary art – he reassures Lion that while all of it contributed to his personality, he’s greater than the sum of its parts. He sees something in Lion no one else does, and so he fiercely, jealously guards the emotions shared between them from the rest of the world. This is his. He will not risk ridicule. He will not let it wither in sunlight where it flourishes in darkness.

Which is why he’s overcome with dizzying nausea when Dokkaebi walks in on them.

They were cautious, both of them averse to endangering this fragile understanding between them, and though they began living in each other’s skin outside of work, they avoided each other in Hereford. Not obvious enough to draw suspicion but rigorous enough to resist temptation. This day, it just so happened that Lion had lab results to drop off at the end of his shift, and Doc was still around, and so they exchanged a few words. Maybe stood a little too close. Doc said something soothing, Lion reacted with a rare smile, and warm fingers found his own, lips neared his.

A quick peck. No more. But Dokkaebi bursts in just then and clearly realises what’s going on and though Lion scrambles to revert back to the persona which can lie like it breathes, he’s gotten used to not needing it in Doc’s presence and is therefore too slow.

Awkwardness settles in his bones, guides Dokkaebi’s stilted words and stiff movements, laces Doc’s curt response, causes Lion’s face to burn and him to take an unnecessary step backwards. It squeezes his heart until it desperately pumps against the iron grip, blackening the outside of his vision, and with a formal excuse, he leaves. He nearly misses the doorknob on the way out due to shaking fingers.

She knows.

And if she knows, so will everyone else the next day. His and Doc’s feud spread like wildfire the moment he joined Rainbow and there’s no doubt this tasty bite of news will do the same. They will all know.

His phone starts buzzing before he’s even home. Composure is a virtue and he thanks the Lord for gracing him with it or else he might’ve swerved his car into a ditch. Teeth chattering, he stops by the side of the road and turns the device off – he doesn’t need this unconditional compassion right now, even if he’s unsure what else he needs. All he knows is that he’d break down if the calm voice on the other end asked him whether he’s alright.

Intrusive thoughts haunt him almost like a badly edited narration over a bleak independent film. You don’t deserve him, and he’s fairly sure he’s hungry, so he puts a slice of bread into the toaster. Doesn’t it contradict your faith? He hasn’t even taken off his shoes, so he unlaces them by the couch, leaves them lying in the way. Believe me, you two aren’t gonna last. Coffee sounds good right about now, even if all he has is instant. Fucking coward, hasn’t even come out and probably blackmails Doc. Kettle, water, cup, spoon, powder. The metal in his hands feels too smooth. Wasn’t his kitchen a little bigger? He could’ve sworn it wasn’t dark out when he arrived. He’s still an arrogant twat. Great, his toast is cold now.

The voices of the people he’s forced to interact with every day are merciless.

It’s like he’s run a marathon and, despite being wholly drained, the residual adrenaline fires up his mind in uncomfortable bursts. Sitting down for longer than ten minutes is impossible and he finds himself going through his qualifications at one point. He’s good at his job. He’s sure he can find another one elsewhere.

Now and then, faces flash before him. The priest he told to go fuck himself when he tried to talk to young Lion about responsibilities. His parents after being informed about his fatherhood. Claire when she realised he was serious about the abortion. His own son upon seeing him the first time. And, lastly, Doc. The day his colleagues’ blood added to the crusty mess already on Lion’s hands.

He won’t be able to bear more. He’ll break if the rest of Rainbow adds to this embarrassingly long list of shocked, appalled, disgusted expressions, especially since it’d be over something so dear to him. So crucial to his survival. He can’t stand them shunning him for having found his heart’s desire.

Already resigned to a night of no sleep, he jolts upright at the sound of his doorbell. Sits there, motionless, paralysed in indecision. He should let him in. He doesn’t want to.

It still rings now and then five minutes later, every noise running marrow-deep. He trusts Doc fully, but he doesn’t trust himself.

For once, his mind comes up with a reasonable objection: isn’t he a little old to be self-sabotaging like this?

Doc doesn’t mention the wait once he’s crossed the threshold. He won’t get it, not with how supportive his family has been, not with how popular he is, not with how little he encountered rejection in his life. And yet simply seeing him helps.

“I don’t want to lose you”, Lion breathes into his hair and the reassurances convince him that his lover genuinely doesn’t understand – he whispers the words which usually soothe Lion, promises him to stay by his side and remains unaware of the real problem. It matters not that he’s loyal when no one will talk to them. It’s irrelevant how supportive he is when open hostility will make coordinated teamwork unachievable. The tension will carry over until it either permeates their entire relationship, leaves them irritated and frustrated with each other, or until Lion is reassigned. Or potentially leaves of his own accord.

Both would be the end of them.

In exposing their feelings, they have killed them. And though Doc’s fingers will eventually grow tired of brushing away wet streaks, there will always be more tears.

.

Needle pricks in his back. He feels them wherever he goes, head held high and seemingly impervious – but the gazes riddle him, erode his self-control and he’s sure that eventually, there’ll be more holes than substance. Wandering through the base is nightmarish, an omnipresent sense of dread unshakeable. None of the people around him dare to speak anywhere but in their minds, and so he’s powerless to defend himself. They all know.

Every smile is malicious, every bout of laughter directed at him. Today, the universe has assembled to judge over the mockery that is his life and finds it lacking.

Doc’s words are etched into the back of his brain, not as encouragement but as a reminder of how naive his lover is. Doc desperately holds onto this fundamental trust towards humanity, ignorant of his privilege, ignorant of how revered he is, how the seas part for him, how no one dares to speak ill of him. He blindly assumes his experiences are universal. It’s easy for him to confuse his own brightness reflected back at him with another source of light.

Lion isn’t so lucky.

Whenever anyone approaches him, he expects the worst, flinches pre-emptively and stumbles his way through conversations which should’ve gone a lot smoother. They shoot him more and more odd looks the further the day progresses, and it’s not just the albatross around his neck they see. A glance in the mirror confirms he looks like death.

Montagne is a good friend and Lion values his opinion, yet conversing with him is like nails dragging over a chalkboard. He inquires about Lion’s well-being and lies like this one hardly count anymore. The brief talk has him sit down or else he might’ve started swaying, and the deafening roar of his thoughts almost makes him miss Montagne’s parting statement: “I’m happy for you and Gustave. I wish you two all the best.”

He -

He can’t mean it, can he?

A day later, in passing, Buck says with a smile: “You’ve snagged a good one. Don’t let him get away, eh?”

And Ash, at the end of the week: “I’m very glad it’s working out with you and Doc.”

Lion has never received this many friendly words. Most of the team captains send him on errands which carry him past Doc’s office. Hibana assigns him and Doc together for an exercise without a second thought. Twitch begins buying one coffee more each morning.

The burden lifts. The queasy feeling dissipates. His future brightens. It’s an incredible experience, and the more he adapts, the warmer the others receive him. It’s a mutual thing, glowing and strengthening his confidence, and eventually he even admits Doc was right from the beginning.

“They don’t treat me any worse”, he adds when sharing his observations with a wholly relieved Doc, loose and content and not at all shy with his displays of affection.

“Of course not”, comes the gentle reply. “Everyone deserves happiness, Olivier. It’s time you start believing it.”

Lion has to concede that here, by Doc’s side, looking forward to a good night’s sleep and a challenging job with supportive co-workers, it’s a lot easier to trust in these words.

#rainbow six siege #doc #lion #doc/lion #fanfic #oneshot #commissions #very glad you liked it!! #this flowed out of my fingertips #if I write more lion this prob includes recurring themes

[autismgavemychildvaccines]

Why I’m Ashamed to Be Christian

So, now that I am literally sick of the Measles nonsense (no, fucking literally, working 12+ hour shifts on an incident management team has got me sick and tired enough to call in tomorrow), I’ve decided to do a non PH rant, though it’ll for sure rear it’s fucking head somewhere in here. Instead, let’s tackle something real fun. Religion! Time to buckle up.  In my half fucking awake daze that I was just nudged out of, something really wild hit me. My faith, my belief in a very specific God with a specific book (though I admit that other religions, so long as their origin is not a company or a tool to oppress others on the outset, are valid/likely just as true) makes no God damned sense.  (For reference, here I will claim my most closely related sect as my own; American Evangelism [though if one were to ask in person I’d say “non-denominational”, but historically, the two are close] and will be speaking as a part of a community I used to closely belong to but now have drifted away from on some granola-crunching dumbassery that is “I am a church of one” bullshit. I’ve wanted to be other things, but ever since I left the Freemasons, fuck all else has had much appeal.) So, first things first, Garden of Eden, right? Pretty fucking cool place, some might have even called it a perfect garden, a perfect place for humans and God to interact? But here’s my hang up with it. The trees of Life and Knowledge, and the rule that Adam and Eve could eat of any fruit except those grown upon that pair. Why even fucking have them?

 When I asked that as a kid in a faith based area, they said because it was a test.

 Of what?

 “Well, of our loyalty to God and our Faith, of course”. 

Except again, what the fuck? Like, I get the idea of free-will, in fact I am a huge believer in individual free will (I’ll get to that in a sec), but here’s the stickler here. As any other creative type will tell you, we want our work to take on a life of its own. Like say I wanted to program a remarkably bright AI, and it worked, and all I wanted was for it to recognize me as its creator and to discover and enjoy what home I could make for it. You know what I wouldn’t do? I wouldn’t give an AI, even with some simulated free will, the ability to break certain rules. For example, I wouldn’t allow it unrestricted access to the internet or my personal accounts. I wouldn’t even give it the concept that such things existed, let alone put it right fucking there to be used. That would be a flaw, an imperfection in an otherwise perfect place. And yeah, there’s something to be said for giving free will with not-free consequences, sure. But two things: 1) Don’t be pissed when the thing happens that you allowed to exist in the first place and thus forced it to be a mathematical certainty now that you’re dealing with perhaps the most curious species to ever exist.  2) Don’t go blaming them for a lack of faith. If anything, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, an act that abusers often use to get what they really want and have a thin veneer of an excuse to make happen. Now doesn’t that sound a lot like a good number of the followers of this faith, as opposed to an almighty, omnipotent, powerful being? Hmm, something to consider there, maybe.  Speaking of followers, let’s actually also take a look at some of the prophets that we as American Christians often hold so dear. Now me? I’m a Luke guy, I like Luke. Peaceful, loving gospel for the most part, and I dig it. Peace and love, baby, that’s all I want coming from stories regarding a higher power that we had to hang up like a fucking tapestry to make sure we got all that love. But do you know who I fucking hate, and who I blame the most for how the American chruch is? Paul/Saul of Tarsus. Thiiiiiiiiiiis prick. This fucking Deus Vult Vulture. Actually in many ways, he really is the archetype to the Modern Evangelical fucking anything. Actively participated in the harassing, attempted extinguishing and successful terrorizing of a marginalized group. Then after being hit back for it, literally “seeing the light” and trying to be the fucking vanguard of said group only to lead it down a path where he’s suddenly the appointed expert of anything to do with the issue. And while he does this, he helps create the most violent and bigoted thoughts in the whole of the religion, and is praised for his visions as he says they are truly from God, and can thus act oh so righteously. This right here is a fucking problem, y’all. Like, I know the whole forgiveness idea allows for some mental gymnastics on how this could even happen, but even then to make a genocidal ass-face your de-facto leader aside from Christ himself for the next 2000 years is a fucking flip that even at the 1988 Olympics, if Christians were America, Russia would give them a straight 10/10.    And yet, for many of us, that’s exactly what we’ve done. Hell, we’ve even fallen into the forced victim narrative of the synopsis of this asshole:  “Oh well, you see, I was a heathen and thus I couldn’t help myself, but then like, the God of the people I was killing talked to me and like, now I have to do this (Take on the “burden” of leading the church) as penance for what I couldn’t help myself over.” We’ve fallen for it so much, that it may as well be hard wired into our nervous system to believe anything resembling it, just as we assume if something is flat, green and on a tree, it’s a leaf.  Maybe it’s why we as a religion (and let’s face it, other Abrahamic religions as well) are so damn good at beating down the marginalized while screaming that we are the saints, we’re the sacrificiers trying to make things better. Like, let’s have some modern day fun with this bullshit, man; let’s see how we treated and in many places continue to treat women.  Of the few churches I have been to, 100% of them had one dual-sided message that made me real fuckin’ uncomfortable, fam:  Part 1) That women cannot be trusted onto themselves and thus 2) Men must take control of them and society to not allow for some unspecified “Ridiculous bullshit”.  (as a fair heads up; I do fully recognize non-binary, trans individuals, etc, but for the sake of brevity I’ll be mostly referring to M/F in the traditional sort of way, because opening up Christianity’s treatment of anything regarding gender fluidity is a Ph.D. thesis for another day)  Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I know damn well that out of all the dudes I know, and all the lasses I know, they’re a pretty mixed fuckin’ bunch. It’s almost like their gender assigned at birth doesn’t really affect how reasonable they could be as people nor how much responsibility they should have. Obviously some cultural practices skew this quite a bit in so far that women are expected to take more responsibility, younger, and for less praise, but if anything that should help destroy, not reinforce that message.  And yet, the idea persists so much in Christian circles. And not just by the men themselves, but the women, also. For the longest time of my church going days, the pastor was a woman. She wholly believed it was just and right that her husband be in charge of everything, that women should be loyal to their men in all aspects. Then again, she also (despite recruiting members primarily from college) did not believe in evolution at all, so there’s that in terms of an intellectual hurdle. But regardless, this inherent submissive attitude within the faith (and even the half-hearted and self-congratulatory “Yeah but we REALLY are the ones making the decisions because we can withhold sex if we want” is essentially that too just a smidgen more empowering), when combined with the idea that men should be wholly in-control (which is a breeding ground for toxic masculinity if there ever was) is shameful. It’s what has allowed so much bullshit in the past, including these recent abortion laws. Now, I’m going to cover abortion in another post (I might get to it tomorrow; It’s been on the burner for weeks), but it’s super pertinent here.  We, as a religion, have allowed ourselves to tell women (just as we tell/told minorities before) that they cannot be trusted with their own bodies, that they cannot be trusted when they speak, and most certainly cannot be trusted to truly hold dominion over anything. And that has allowed the most insidious, hateful, bigoted, disgusting things to happen in the name of God. A God that while I am writing this post I still believe in, but my doubts about how genuine the message has ever been is hitting home. One whose words about peace have been ignored when they could be interpreted or pointed to to support war, where the rich can profit off the poor, or to support sexism, because we as men historically have wanted to control “everything of ours”, or to take the very free will we claim to hold so dear from those who need the ability to make their own decisions the most. Words that have been used to hold down good people from making lives better. Words that in the hands of those who wanted, could be profaned and desecrated and thus allow for profane and disturbing events, both on the grand stage of the world and behind the closed doors of any house in some small town. Words which are held up with a wink and a nod so that followers feel included when they are scammed by some fucking fried chicken joint who wants to make more money to fight against equality, or to pay for another $9 million jet for some asshole who croons about how the poor should be grateful they do not have the temptations of the rich.  To other followers, do you not lament that we are this way? That we have been this way for so long? Because I fucking do.  And to those who have been discriminated or marginalized or whatever else against because of your gender or skin colour or situation or victimization or  past deeds of any sort; I’m sorry. Genuinely, truly sorry you have suffered as you have. Sorry for what people have done thinking it was somehow morally or spiritually justified, sorry that they thought they were saving you. And I can assure you that I will never try to lead you as those before me have tried to. Though if it’s all the same, I’d like to get to hear you, and walk beside you. 

[newagesispage]

                                                            OCTOBER                2020

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 The Stones opened Rolling Stones # 9 on Carnaby St.** Bill Wyman auctioned off many unique items for the Prince’s Trust.**Wyman’s bass used for groundbreaking records in ’69 and ’70 broke a record at $384,000. The famous amp that got him into the Stones went for $106,250 and the most expensive toilet seat cover sold at auction with the tongue logo went for $1,142. Brian Jones Rock and Roll Circus guitar sold for $704,000.

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VOTE!!!!

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In San Francisco people can order dinner and drinks delivered with a drag queen performance.

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Joaquin and Rooney had a baby that they named River.

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Real Time has been renewed thru 2022.

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The new film, No Sudden Move about 1955 Detroit will star Don Cheadle, David Harbour, Benicio Del Toro, Ray Liotta and Kieran Culkin.

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Shep Smith is back with Just the Facts on CNBC.

*****

The Presidential debate: Well, Good Biden moments-“You don’t panic, he panicked.”  “It is what it is cuz you are what you are.” “Everybody knows he’s a liar.” Wouldn’t know suburbs unless he took a wrong turn.”  “Will you shit up man?” “Get out of your and trap.” Imagine if Bernie or a younger candidate with real energy were there. Imagine someone quick on their feet because we need that.  The bully style of scary clown 45 does fluster a normal person as it supposed to. Joe held his own and had real dignity though. It is hard to not respond to the President’s ridiculousness but he needs to be ignored.  Trump and son both seemed like they were about 8 Red Bulls into the day with all that pent up anger.  Who should be drug tested? Biden?  Trump went on about forest management but most of that land belongs to the Federal government.  ** I have never seen my mailperson trying to sell ballots.** Trump said that bad things are happening in Philadelphia. Biden should have showed some love for the state. He is on a tour of it now though. ** Chris Wallace said, “Why you not?” Was that a real question?  45 said, “I was a private business people.” They all had a little trouble talking. It is exhausting the way people put up with his manners.  **As soon as the debate was over, the Trump army wasted no time reaching out to goons to be poll watchers. Do they know that you just can’t show up randomly for that??**Apprentice insiders say Trump abuses Adderall.

*****

The other day when Trump took the podium for a rant, an open mike caught a someone saying, “Oh shit” On Fox.

*****

For those who insist Trump is a religious man, I’ll grant you he pays taxes like a church. –Stephen Colbert

*****

Letterman is ready with My Next Guest Needs no Introduction. This season includes Robert Downey Jr., Lizzo and Dave Chappelle.

*****

There are about 9 million feral swine in this country known as super pigs.

*****

There is talk of Levar Burton replacing Alex Trebeck when he retires. YES!!!!

*****

Cigar Afficionado magazine has named CBS Sunday Morning the greatest show on tv.

*****

The U.S. built tunnels under Trump’s wall to let water, garbage, DDT and other toxins flow thru. Millions were spent for nothing and now millions more will be spent to address this problem that empties into the Pacific Ocean.

*****

Days alert: Melissa Reeves is being replaced. Is it that she does not want to commute from Nashville or that she is a bit too conservative or something else? Is it an end of Days with old side characters and replacements of the stars??** Ava is coming back, JJ is back, Eric and Sami are gone. ** Absolutely loved the pic of Abigail 1 that confused Abigail 2. Funny!!!! It reminded me of the OLTL moment during Asa’s funeral when Blair saw the 1st Blair in a flashback.

*****

“Smaller than expected” would probably explain a lot about the proud boys. –Andi Zeisler

*****

Why does anyone listen to Christie or Rudy??

*****

Looting isn’t part of protesting just like murder isn’t part of arresting.

*****

A judge has said that Florida has created an “unconstitutional pay to vote system.” This has now been overturned. What are the things that can be termed felonies to keep one from voting? The list includes releasing helium filled balloons, driving without a license, catching the wrong lobster and disturbing turtle eggs. Amendment 4 was originally put into effect to stop freed slaves from voting. But SB7066 makes sure that felons complete the terms of their sentences. The fines, fees and restitution can be hard to navigate. There must be proof before they can vote but all counties keep their own records and there is no organization statewide.  Mike Bloomberg, John Legend, Michael Jordon and others are paying off millions of dollars in debt for felons in Florida so that they can vote if they can unravel some of the puzzles. Now Florida Republicans are saying that that is also illegal.

*****

Two thirds of the world’s wildlife has disappeared in the last 50 years.

*****

At our own peril, we have to step up or everything is lost. –John Batiste

*****

Michael Jordan will start up a Nascar team with Bubba Wallace.

*****

Laraine Newman signed up to be a poll worker. How do you get people to vote? Celebrity poll workers? Hey whatever works as long as the masses don’t gawk and hold up the lines.

*****

A refrigerator sized asteroid is headed to earth and may arrive about the time of the election.

*****

So the coronavirus relief funds were funneled by the pentagon to defense contractors.** What kind of a selfish fucking world do we live in? At least we know which people in this world give a flying fuck about the rest of us. Rally and fair participants, relief money scammers and mask protesters, we hear you loud and clear!!

*****

The Emmys went on thru the week of the 14th thru the 20th. Winners included RuPaul, Don’t fuck with Cats, Leah Remini, The Apollo, Eddie Murphy, Last Week 2nite, SNL, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, The Crown, Better Call Saul, Joseph Gordon Levitt, Archer, Hollywood, Maya Rudolph, Dan Harmon,  Bad Education, Cherry Jones, Regina King,  Julia Garner, Mark Ruffalo,  Uzo Aduba, The Last Dance and Stranger Things. Schitt’s Creek (and practically the whole cast), Dave Chappelle and Succession took home the big ones. Norman Lear became the oldest Emmy winner ever. Letterman ‘hitchhiked’ to the Emmy’s to present an award. I was really rooting for Amy Sedaris!!

*****

Bill Murray and Rashida Jones will star in Sofia Coppala’s On the Rocks.** The Doobie Brothers want Bill Murray to stop using their music to sell his golf clothes.

*****

Danny Trejo and Jessica Tuck will star in ‘The Shift.’

*****

Illinois is pulling down statues including Chris Columbus. Woo Hoo!!

*****

13 mummies have been discovered in a well, stacked one on top of the other. The Egyptian discovery from about 2,500 years ago has been well preserved.

*****

Hysterectomies on immigrant women in detention camps?? Really??

*****

Scientific American mag is 175 years old has never endorsed a candidate but Joe Biden id their man.

*****

Word is that in Indonesia the anti- maskers are forced to dig the graves of the Covid 19 victims.

*****

The Breonna Taylor case continues with a settlement and too few charges.

*****

Scary Clown 45 announced he will call in to Fox and Friends every Monday or Tuesday but a host told him that they were not committed to that.** The Scary campaign put up ads with “Support Our Troops” but the problem is they are Russian troops and jet fighters.** Trump did a phone interview on Fox Sports and talked about golf.

*****

It is a shame that Hillary lost the election and many more of us would be alive if she were running the show. But, I can only imagine the shit they would have given her.

*****

Brad Pascale, Trump’s former campaign manager, went to the hospital after being taken into custody in Florida after threatening suicide.

*****

Just remember , 1619 Project: Good   1776 Commision: Oh my! Why do these rich old fucks want us to stay as stupid and uninformed as they are? Haven’t we been in the dark long enough? They are the fake news masters.

*****

Jim Carrey will play Biden on SNL. Chris Rock will be host the season 46 opener on Oct. 3. New players will be Lauren Holt, Punkie Johnson and Andrew Dismukes.

*****

Gulf War Syndrome is a chronic and multi symptomatic disorder that has affected military personnel from the Persian Gulf War. The DOD is resisting the strong evidence and needs more of a spotlight. The possible exposure to chemical weapons may even have been passed on to their partners through sexual contact. All of this came to light in the mid 90’s thru complaints that were told to Ross Perot. Let’s hope Tammy Duckworth looks into this further.

*****

Amy Coney Barrett has been nominated to the Supreme Court. Her previous statements tell us she believes the ACA is unconstitutional, abortion is always immoral and the country should undo marriage equality. She is a member of People of Praise.** If she was a Muslim and everything else was the same regarding her beliefs and associations, Republicans would call her a religious extremist and never let her step near the Supreme Court. –Wajahat Ali.** Notorious A.C.B. ?? Do they have one original idea other than new ways to cheat and steal??

*****

Finn Wittrock has a funny little Emmy Uber ride on Funny or Die.

*****

Breonna Taylor’s neighbor’s wall got more justice that Breonna herself. –Jordan Uhl

*****

Go Stevie Wonder!!!

*****

Dax Sheppard went off the wagon for a while.

*****

A Giant Gundom? Really?

*****

A fun prank would be if we stopped this from becoming a dictatorship on Nov. 3rd and whatnot. –George Wallace

*****

Sen. Kevin Kramer has been acting a little crooked on building the Wall.

*****

The Metropolitan Opera has cancelled the whole season.

*****

Happy Doomscrolling

*****

Can dogs be trained to detect the coronavirus?

*****

Rand Paul is an idiot. Birx and Atlas have ruined reps. Give ‘em Hell Fauci!! ** Everything Atlas says is false. –R. Redfield

*****

Eric Trump must testify in court about the Trump business’s a judge has decreed. The Trump biz has made about 19 billion in the last 3 years.** The world is gobbling up the news about the Trump tax returns with tales of debt, the $72.9 milliion refund and foreign influence. How does the IRS let a refund like that happen? How bad of a businessman do you have to be to lose that much $? National security threat. One of his fans will probably bail him out.

*****

Bet we’d all own houses if we stopped eating so much avocado toast and committed tax fraud. -Kashana

*****

Mary Trump has sued The President and his siblings for fraud.

*****

Ellen is selling off $10 mil in art.

*****

61% say we should abolish the electoral college.

*****

The Netflix series, Challenger :The Final Flight reminds us that like The Titanic, the arrogance of man can change so many lives.

*****

Wilderness of Errors is a great doc. It proves just how right the book and mini -series got it.

*****

The remains of the 1644 warship, Del Menhorst have been found off the Danish coast.

*****

Everybody is talking about Jeff Daniels in The Comey Rule. The actors were upset when Showtime was going to push back the release until after the election. The actors said they wouldn’t promote the film so the film has premiered.

*****

David Tennant gets better and better and now he is giving us DES on ITV. Quality AND quanity.

*****

Independent prosecutors are not going ahead with a case against NE Patriots Robert Craft for soliciting prostitutes.

*****

America has no memories. –Wallace Shawn

*****

Tyler Childers has released ‘Long Violent History”. Give it a listen.

*****

Does it seem like the administration gets a word of the week and they really push it? Caravan-Herd-sedition-looters- Antifa. It is like they all share a brain and do not have a thought of their own.

*****

Chris Petrovski `will star in ‘Listen’ about a young Israeli soldier.

*****

On a personal note, I love the way that Autumn makes my brain feel. The spring allergies are gone, the hot muddled summer thinking fades and everything opens up.

*****

Gubler is back and in the video for Future Islands ‘Moonlight’.

*****

Niecy Nash wed Jessica Betts.

*****

Check out the Curious life and death of… on the Smithsonian channel.

*****

Conan is looking hot with his grown out hair.

*****

I just love Mel Rodriguez and Weijia Jiang. Some people just don’t get enough credit.

*****

Vet’s crisis line: 1-800-273-8255

*****

Donald Trump is taking page out of Charles Manson’s playbook. Start a race war, then convince the public you alone can end it. He’s a lying racist piece of garbage. –Rob Reiner

*****

Serious Question: Would good Christian conservatives have mounted a Go fund me for Timothy McVeigh? –Michael Mckean

*****

Old Navy will pay employees to work the polls on Election day.

*****

Trump is the most effective anti -liberal in my lifetime. –Newt Gingrich

*****

Tommy Chong does not seem too happy with Joe Rogan.

*****

Anna Faris is leaving CBS’s Mom as it heads into its 8th season.

*****

Q Anon should take advantage of the ACA. –Joe Biden

*****

Word is that the White House told Federal agencies to ban race based sensitivity training.  The thinking is that Un American propaganda training sessions have no place in Federal Government.

*****

I wish I lived in a country where John Kelly, James Mattis and John Bolton had at least half the balls of Sally Yates, Maria Yovanovitch, Fiona Hill, Reality Winner, Christine Blasey Ford or Stormy Daniels. – Andrea Junker** If only Mad Dog Mattis had the balls of Olivia Troye – Michael Mckean

*****

38 million Americans live in poverty.

*****

80 year old Sam Little with a possible 93 murders has now been called the most prolific serial killer in the U.S. and he has a photographic memory. Whoever takes this on, please let David Alan Grier play him in the movie.

*****

You must check out the album, the Angel Headed Hipster.

*****

Everybody is talking about Cottage Core.

*****

The Trump campaign can’t help themselves with things like playing ‘knockin’ on Heaven’s door’ and ‘Fortunate son’ at rally’s. It was like the time my Grandfathers young wife brought a purse to the funeral that boldly stated ‘Jackpot.’ True Story.

*****

Glenn Howerton and Seth Meyers should play brothers on something.** Also Meyers and Larry Wilmore wondered if the cancellation of Wilmore’s show was a reason for the racial unrest and terrible results of the last election. Hmmm.

*****

Can we remember this election enthusiasm for all future elections?  We need to take things seriously EVERY time.** So many say that even with our divide, we all want the same things in the end. I do not think that is really true. It seems that in this divide, we have different ideas about what we want this country to be.

*****

Harry Styles has replaced Shia LaBeouf in Olivia Wilde’s Don’t Worry Darling.

*****

Cat Cora has filed for a restraining order against her ex- wife, Jennifer who it seems has been stalking her.

*****

Showtime’s The Comedy Store sounds interesting with stories like Jimmie Walker who claims that Freddie Prinze wanted to kill John Travolta.

*****

Maplecroft, Lizzie Borden’s last house sold for about $890,000.

*****

A woman ref in the NFL?? It’s about time!

*****

Doc Martin will end after its 10th season.

*****

Kelly Clarkson is being sued by her management firm.

*****

Pope Francis refused to meet with Mike Pompeo.

*****

R.I.P. Tom Seaver, Sophie Farrar, Kevin Dobson, Toots Hibbert, Stevie Lee, Bruce Williamson, Ben Cross, Diana Rigg, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Rev. Robert Graetz, Ron Cobb, Gale Sayers, Dan Dettman, Kevin Burns, Mac Davis, wildfire casualties, Covid victims and Helen Reddy.

[princess-havok]

Pop Kids Readthrough: Chapters 46-50

My copy of Love Fast Los Angeles cleared customs this morning so it’s at least in the country now and will hopefully be here soon, but in the meantime I’ve still got like 90 pages of this book left to get through, so let’s do this.

Pages 223-244.

The Premieres are consuming Score’s life to the point that his grades are slipping dramatically and he ends up getting fired from work. Getting fired sucks and is hard to bounce back from but at this point it’s like, at the EARLIEST mid-October, and I’m just like... you’re fine, bro, just pull your shit together and you can salvage your year and most of your GPA.

But that also really drives home how quickly this all goes downhill. The parties start in, what, mid-August? And two months later, Score’s life is a mess, the parties that started as just some light B&E to alleviate small-town boredom are now straight up orgies, and everything is awful.

Score's paranoia is at an all-time high, but to be fair he does have a few close calls. First, as he’s leaving the party, there’s some slightly questionable randoms lurking around outside who ask him if he knows anything about a party in the area. The next morning, his parents ask what’s going on at breakfast, but they just think he’s on drugs because he looks tired, always carries the lighter and his clothes smell like smoke. Poor, naive Gina. So good and so pure. At no point does she make any connection between her son staying out all night, coming home exhausted and smelling like smoke, and the churches burning down with some regularity. Like forget the orgies your kid is a straight up arsonist, but whatever. As long as he’s not on drugs. She’s also oblivious to her husband’s own drug use and -- oh my god, I think Gina is my mom, and that’s why I love her so much.

That same morning, a 17-second video from the party briefly appears on Stella’s blog and then vanishes. It’s funny that this book is barely 6 years old and already the internet has moved on so much that that’s not even... how that would work? Like, now in the short time that video was up it probably would’ve spread and been downloaded and reuploaded all over the place. I mean, I know you could do that in 2012 but it was harder and did take longer. (Speaking of things moving on, there’s a reference to being more famous than Rebecca Black later on and like... man that’s a call back to a very specific time. It also conflates fame and notoriety, which is definitely a running theme in this book. I know Rebecca Black isn’t famous for anything bad other than a particularly terrible song, but she’s also not famous for having any kind of talent or marketable skill, and that doesn’t matter to this crowd.)

Score’s Horrible Terrible No Good Very Bad Day ends with him getting fired, but by the next day at school he’s back to his regular, self-absorbed self, because the myth of the video has spread and he’s something of a minor celebrity. Since most people either haven’t seen it or can’t prove it was him he can’t get in trouble and instead just enjoys the accolades. Stella, however, is notably absent.

Notably, unless you’re Score fucking Massi.

On the second day of Score’s absence, Shane makes it pretty fucking clear that he drove her to get an abortion and Score just thinks he drove her to San Francisco to see the casting agent again, and asks if she mentioned him, and is in general too self-absorbed to figure that out.

So, about that party. The Fuck It Premiere is... less disturbing, more worth actually talking about. First of all, during a particularly frantic “scene” (have I talked about how they call banging someone ‘doing a scene’ with them? Like they live in a porno and there are no consequences and none of this is real), Alvin ends up giving Score head (sorry, OJ, that’s what we’re calling it in this book and I’ve ignored that until now because I Do Not Like It) at Star’s insistence because she’s apparently into watching teenage boys mess around. I really want Alvin away from her and also everyone else in this book  

Score almost gets what he’s been after with Holly since the beginning and then he runs the fuck away. They kiss and he hears “an un-released Smiths song” (231) in his head like this is a movie, then she whispers something which may or may not turn out to have been “I want you to fuck me like that pig on the wall” (231). I say may or may not because it’s in italics and most of what we’ve seen in italics so far is happening inside Score’s head, like the moths and things he wishes he’d said or heard. But in any case, he literally runs away, leaves the Palace entirely, so he doesn’t cheapen their “moment.” Because when it comes down to it, as much as he’s fantasized about sleeping with Holly, I don’t think he can, because he needs to see her as the untouched virgin he’s decided she is, and even he can’t soil her. Boy’s got some issues.

Also, my sweet boy Shane gives Score a McQueen tie as an early birthday gift. He says he made it in tailoring class (is that a thing? Like I know there’s Home Ec or Family Studies or whatever they call it these days where you’d do some sewing maybe but a tailoring class?) but on closer examination Score sees that “he even made a McQueen tag for it.” So either Shane has a bright future in the clothing bootleg business or he lied and straight up bought Score a $200 tie for his birthday.

He doesn’t deserve that, and he doesn’t deserve Shane.

#pop kids #davey havok #pop kids readthrough

[blackwhitefrancis]

August 27, 2017 12:20 AM

I keep seeing those list of questions to get to know people here in Tumblr and in Twitter, so I decided to give it a shot. I found a list of questions that I think I could comfortably answer and would give you ideas of me aside from what I post here. Instead of asking for a random number or a word from ask, I answered them all because I don’t think I have enough followers to get through all of them anyway. This is also because I haven’t posted for a while and would like to remind people I’m still alive. I’ve got a couple of drafts going, but they’re not fully thought out yet.

Anyway, here goes!

1.  Who was the last person you held hands with?

Does the Ama Namin prayer in church count, because if so, I’d have to say my brother.

2.  Are you loud, outgoing, or shy?

Shy if I’m not comfortable around people. Outgoing if I am.

3.  Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Well, this blog is dedicated to a certain someone.

4.  Are you easy to get along with?

I’d like to think so. 

5.  Have you ever given up on someone, but then gone back to him/her?

I’ve given up on a lot of people, and I have never gone back to any of them. 

6.  If you were drunk, would the person you like take care of you?

I should hope so.

7.  Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I don’t think two months is enough to get to know someone before being in a relationship, so even if I do meet someone today, the answer will still be no.

8.  Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My very busy friend who I wish I could hang out with more often.

9.  Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Me, no, but the company I keep does, so we rarely talk about it.

10.  Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

That same busy friend. I spent the last Saturday just lounging around in her room.

11.  What does your most recent text say?

“Medyo nga. Baby steps. Haha.”

Have fun figuring that out. 

12.  How do you feel about abortion?

Fun fact #1: I’m a BS Biology graduate from a Catholic University and I was still studying at the same time the RH Bill issue was at its peak. We weren’t allowed to openly support it as long as we wore our school uniforms. I was in third year, and our Embryology professor defied that rule and supported it anyway and taught us why. I don’t remember the specifics scientifically, but what I remember was that abortion should be fine but only up until a certain point, but only because this considers the health of the mother. 

13.  Do you like big crowds of people?

Hell, no!

14.  Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yes!

15.  What good thing happened this summer?

I got a raise in my salary.

16.  Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I kiss my parents on the cheek before I leave for work and when I come home, so yes.

17.  Do you think there is life on other planets?

Statistically speaking, yes.

18.  Do you still talk to your first crush?

Not as often as I like, but yes, she and I still do talk when we happen to bump into each other. Yes, she.

Fun fact #2: She was the very first person I came out to in high school, but we’ve known each other since 1st grade, and I had a crush on her during 5th grade.

19.  Do you like bubble baths?

Haven’t tried it yet. We always have showers. Even if I do find bathtubs, I’m always to tall to fit in them comfortably.

20.  Do you like your neighbors?

Not really. They have kids and those kids cry sometimes at godforsaken hours in the night.

21.  What are your bad habits?

Is eating ice after I finish my drink a bad habit? I’ve also been told that taking a shower immediately after I get home from work is a bad habit.

22.  Where would you like to travel?

Denmark and Iceland

23.  Do you have trust issues?

Yes. My default setting is to trust, and if that trust is broken, then it’s gone.

24.  Favorite part of your daily routine?

That shower after I arrive from work.

25.  What body part are you most uncomfortable with?

Fun fact #3: I have a birthmark on my left arm. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with it, but I often forget it’s there and it’s very noticeable for other people. I get uncomfortable when people point it out.

If not that, then my height. For a very introverted person, standing a head taller than most people is extremely uncomfortable. I get noticed with and without my presence, like “oh, there’s the tall guy”, or “where’s the tall guy”? 

26.  What do you do when you wake up?

During weekdays, after I turn off my alarm, I change to workout clothes and exercise for around 40 minutes. During weekends, depends on what time I wake up, but usually I’ll start playing Guild Wars 2, because that’s North American prime time, and I get to do stuff that I can’t usually do.

27.  Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I like the color of my skin. I guess it could be lighter, but I don’t really care either way.

28.  Who are you most comfortable around?

The same handful of people I’ve known since high school.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

If I play my cards right, I won’t have an ex, but for now, let’s label this as TBD.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I do. The church and the government not so much.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

No. I like my hair short. My hair gets really wavy when it gets too long and it’s hard to comb.

32. Which celebrities would you like to have a threesome with?

Scott Hoying and Matthew Daddario. 

33. What do you spend most of your money on?

Bills. *cries in corner*

34. Do you play sports?

My friends and I just started playing badminton regularly. I hope we can continue doing it as a weekly thing, but knowing my very busy friends, that just might not happen.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I already don’t watch TV, technically speaking. But if I had a choice between TV shows and music, I would drop TV shows. I need music. It helps calm me.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Don’t we all?

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing. I would let the silence continue.

38. Do you think age matters in a relationships?

Physical age, no. Maturity, yes.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Booksale, Fully Booked, Powerbooks.

40. What did you want to do after high school?

Fun fact #4: I originally wanted to be a marine biologist, which is why I took BS Biology. But in college, Bio subjects were my weakest subjects. As in I would do very well in my Math/Chem/Literature classes yet barely pass my Bio classes. I realized that it might not be for me. I wanted to shift to Sociology or Behavioral Science, but my parents didn’t think I would get a good job from that. So I weathered it out and graduated in the same course anyway. I did try to find a job related to my course though. In the end, I found my love for the written word, and got a job in editing. Haven’t looked back since.

If I could give any of the young Tumblr bloggers here some advice, I’d say don’t worry too much about your course or your future. Use your college experience to find out more about yourself and the things you’re passionate about. Five to ten years after graduation, nobody will give a fuck what your course was, as long as you’re doing a good job. Just make sure that job is something you love.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes, but no more than that.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean?

Look up Tranquil Fury in TVTropes.org.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Not really. Which is why people usually think I’m unapproachable or intimidating. The height doesn’t help with this.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space. I don’t know why, but the ocean kinda scares me.

45. Do you want a roommate?

I already sleep in the same room as my two brothers so no thanks. I also help pay rent, so moving out will just add more expenses for me. 

46. What are you paranoid about?

That I’ve said something offensive or hurtful without even knowing. My humor tends to be a mix of sarcasm and wit, so there are times my intention gets misunderstood.

47. What was the meanest thing someone ever said to you?

My friends and I were playing this game called Disturbed Friends (look up the game if you want to know the rules), and they basically said that I would screw up raising a child.

48. The nicest thing someone ever said to you?

That I would make someone incredibly happy someday.

49. Have you done something recently that you hope no one ever finds out about?

Yes. Let’s leave it at that.

50. What language do you want to learn?

I took Spanish in college and want to continue learning the language someday. 

[automatismoateo]

I’m getting legit fucking angry at how Christian wackjobs are handling the COVID-19 via /r/atheism

Submitted March 28, 2020 at 03:55PM by carlykerfuffle (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2UqA4RA) I’m getting legit fucking angry at how Christian wackjobs are handling the COVID-19

You know what I mean... stark raving mad lunatics who say the virus is God’s punishment for XYZ or a sign of the end times, people still gathering in church even though that’s how the virus spreads, greedy pastors demanding tithes even though countless people don’t have jobs anymore (myself included), “pro-lifers” talking about how abortion kills more people than the virus, I could go on.

Fuck all of you. Fuck every last one of you. All of us are trying to flatten the curve and you’re standing in the fucking way. Even ISIS told its jihadists to stay home! How screwed up is that?

While it is reassuring to see churches closing their doors to protect their congregants, it’s also disturbing to think that that measure is seen by some as some liberal/progressive or “woke” stance instead of a necessary step.

It is making me sick. This behavior is extremely irresponsible. It’s proving that American Christianity bears little resemblance to the teachings of Christ and is more of a massive, GOP-backed doomsday cult. The same people who scream about how life is precious and abortion is evil will happily help spread a deadly virus. If that isn’t hypocritical I don’t know what is.

I really don’t want to be one of those asshole atheists. If you look to God for comfort and prayer makes you feel better, that’s your prerogative. I will put my faith in and extend my unflinching gratitude to our nurses, doctors, scientists etc. who are fighting like hell to combat this disease, and they shouldn’t be ignored in favor of some celestial being.

If you really want to be more Christ-like, stay home to protect the susceptible, and spare a square!

Sorry I just had to vent. I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and each other. I’m just gonna go back, eat some snacks and watch Hulu.

#reddit

[thisislenesha-blog]

3 Scenarios 1 story

“Grandpa stop, stop crying” I ran to towards my grandfather to give him a hug. I could see the hurt in his eyes finding out his 16 year old grand daughter was pregnant.

I had no choice but to tell him, afterall he would’ve found out anyways seeing me walk around the house with a big belly.

He stopped crying and looked up at me. “Your just like your worthless mother, just like her” Before I could open my mouth he got up and walked towards the stairs.

“You think you’re grown , having sex and getting pregnant, I’ll treat you like the grown ass woman you are”. I could hear loud tumbling coming from upstairs so I quickly ran upstairs to see my grandfather packing all my stuff in an empty black garbage bag. “GRANDPA STOP” I yelled trying to push him out of my room. “THIS IS THE LAST STRAW ALYSSA, IVE TRIED EVERYTHING WITH YOU PUTTING YOU IN AFTER SCHOOL CHURCH PROGRAMS, MOVING YOU OUT OF THAT GHETTO SCHOOL INTO A PRIVATE SCHOOL I HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU.”

I didn’t know what do but cry, grandapa was right I was just like my worthless mother. Missing school, taking drugs and having unprotected sex I was just like her. My mother had me at the age of 17 , she was drugged raped and taken advantage of. My grand father always blamed her for what happened that night. My grandfather was a pastor at the time and was ashamed of my mother’s actions so he disowned her and told her he would take care of the baby she was having which was me. My mother suffered from depression which led on to her taking hard drugs like heroine and drinking her pain away. As my grandfather would tell me that was her “Feel better” medicine. She had gotten so addicted unfortunately she had suffered from a drug overdose and died. My grandfather did not attend the funeral but my grandmother did and she she brought me along I was 7 at the time , this was my first time seeing my mother since I was born.

As my grandfather was still packing my clothes I took the garbage bag away from him and started packing my clothes myself. I hated how my grandfather acted towards me and how he treated my mother if it wasn’t for him she probably would’ve still be alive till this day.

After packing all my clothes I threw the bag over the staircase and ran down the stairs.

“And where do you think your going to go?”. I looked at my from up top the stairs “Anywhere but here” I said throwing on my gray sweather and sliding on my slippers.

I picked up my garbage bag and slammed the door shut and starting running away from the house. “Fuck I left my phone in my room” I said out loud “let me see if I have any loose change on me to use the pay phone.” Luckily I had enough change to use the local pay phone.

I started dialing my boyfriend’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jay I need you to pick me up”

“What happened”

“My grandfather kicked me out the house because he found out I’m pregnant”

“I don’t know if I could pick you up still, my dukes tooks my keys away”

“Jay I need you I have no where to go”

“Alright alright let me see if could sneak the car keys real quick, where are you?”

“Im at McDonalds the one close to my house”

“Alright say no more”

I hunged up the phone and waited for Jay to pick me inside of McDonalds.

The time was 11:20 pm and I called Jay around 11:00 pm “What’s taking this nigga so long” I thought to my self.

I heard loud music coming from outside I already knew it was Jay so I went outside and waited for him to pull up.

He winded down his window and said “ So you not getting in, I mean I could leave you out here with the homeless” looking at me with those hazel eyes while biting his bottom lips. I got in the car and said nothing as he proceeds to drive back to his house.

The whole care ride was awkward and noisy because Jay was blasting his music so loud disturbing the peace in the neighbor hood. He pulled in his driveway.

I pulled the car door open about to step out until I felt Jay pulling on my sweater falling back on the seat.

“Your bless?”

“I guess”

“So what happened?”

“Well I told my grandfather I was pregnant and he kicked me out”

“Does he know it’s mine?”

“No I never told him who the father was”

My grandfather was never a fan of Jay he would always tell me “He’s troublesome” and “He’s just another average black kid who gives trouble and causes crime around the community” which was true. Jay was apart of a gang in the neighbourhood all they did was steal and deal drugs. Even though he was apart of a gang he was a sweetheart, he was a hood boy with a big heart.

“So you planning on having it?”

“What?”

“You heard what I said , are you planning on having this child?”

“ Is that even a fucking question Jay”

“Listen, more times mans aren’t ready to have a yute so you need to dash weh dat real quick”

“Jay are you actually telling my to have an abortion right now.”

“Like I said mans aren’t ready to have a yute right now.”

I was so angry I didn’t know what to do so I got out the car slammed the door and walked off away from his house.

“Yo Alyssa” I could hear Jay running to me.

“Jay your actually telling me to have an abortion right now like are you actually dumb ?”

“Look I’m only 16 and I’m on my grind right now I don’t have time to take care of a yute”

I turned around around at look at him with the most confused face ever.

“What grind? You don’t have a job you live off your parents”

“Look mans are on a likkle grind right now”

“Bye” I said walking away.

“Look I have to tell you something”

“What now? I said turning around to face him”

“Let’s just say your not the only girl that’s having my yute”

“What are you talking about right now Jay?”

“Listen Alyssa I fucked up”

“Jay what’s going on?”

“I go- I got Jessica pregnant to”

I looked at him him with shock, I couldn’t believe my best friend Jessica I just couldn’t believe it.

“Stop playing with me Jay”

“Call her and ask her yourself”

I was in the most shock I didn’t know what to do as if everything bad that happened all came back up my grandfather, my mother, all those memories rose up I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Why do you think she hasn’t been answering your calls or hasn’t been to school in weeks she’s having my yut-“ before he could finish his sentence I ran up towards him and punched him in his eye.

“ARE YOU DUMB ALYSSA WHATS WRONG WITH YOU”

“MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND JAY REALLY”

I never felt this way before I felt hurt by the one one person who I thought “loved me” and “Cared about me.”

“MORE TIMES YOU CAN HAVE THIS YUTE BUT JUST KNOW IM NOT TAKING CARE OF IT YOUR WILDING SHORDY”

Jay walks away towards his house and shuts his door.

I instantly fell to the floor crying my eyes out I was officially alone I had no one. My mother was gone, my grandfather kicked me out, and Jay had left me also.

As I was still on the floor I felt someone touch my shoulder.

I looked up seeing a familiar face.

“Let’s go home.”