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#it's 1am time for a gender crisis :3
ms-paints-sometimes · 2 months
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i'm such a girlfailiure i fail even at being a girl
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raaven-nerd · 5 years
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the epic mega tag of tags
I’ve been inactive for an eternity so I got tagged in a bunch of things by a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE (THANK YOU ALL FOR TAGGING ME I LOVE YOU ALL <3) 
So i decided to combine all these tags into ONE MEGA TAG!!! I’m sorry if I don’t have every single tag that people have tagged me in, because I was kinda... inactive lol 
I honestly have no idea how many questions are in here, but I’m really excited to answer all these questions. Subtle hint for you guys to ask me questions lmao!! My ask box is always open ;)
//INTRO//
Time: 9:00AM (i’m on summer break, i’m not ditching school rn lol) 
Name: Michelle
Nickname: Mich (pronounced mish,,) and Michy (fun fact: all my friends spell this differently but the correct spelling is michy!! At least that’s how i spell my nickname lmao)
Gender: Female
Nationality: Australian
Star Sign: Cancer
Height: like 157cm LMAO i’m really short
Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw (hence my branding lmao)
Languages Spoken: English, Cantonese (but badly), Japanese (but only because i learn it at school)
Dream job: GOOD QUESTION LMAO umm something medical?? But like if i was remotely talented, doing something creative would be really cool.
How many pets do you have: 1, I have a pet dog named Pepper
What am I wearing: A T-shirt from last year’s school musical that’s way too big for me and black shorts (and by that i don’t mean a T-shirt that was like part of my costume,, i mean like a merch kinda t-shirt?? but not really merch bc i was in the musical) 
Instruments/sports played: I don’t play any instruments ,, well i play ukulele badly lmao, and i play soccer and volleyball for grade sport :)
//ABOUT THE BLOG//
When did you make this account? Like,, 2 years ago?? YIKES
Why did you join studyblr? Honestly i don’t remember why,, probably bc i wanted to get better at studying and get more motivated
How many followers do you have? Surprisingly around 4800
Why I chose my url: because i’m a nerd,, and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw
//BELOW THE CUT//
Things about my personal life :000 (get that juicy goss!! lol not really tho my life is pre uneventful)
Study tips and my study routine I guess? Just about how i study lol  
Music/Book/Film/TV faves and other related thingos (aka how cultured am i?? again not really tho i’m just trying to make this sound interesting lmao) 
And some more just RANDOM things lmao (like some of these things get really random lol) 
//PERSONAL//
What are three basic facts about you? Okay so whenever a teacher asks me to introduce myself at the start of the school year, my default interesting fact is “I have a dog” and every single year the teachers are super amazed that i have a pet dog and it’s absolutely hilarious bc everyone else is like “I’m not sharing any personal information with you guys”, and the teacher ends up interrogating me about my pet dog.
That’s not a basic fact lol um.. My birthday is on the 15th of July, I’m the youngest of 3 siblings and I graduate in 2020 :))
What was the best part of your day today? Ngl this is actually a really hard question for me to answer because I am NOT in a good mental state right now… but probably watching Joe Sugg’s new vlog. That was a good way to spend a study break. OR REPLYING TO THAT ANON MESSAGE OMG everyone sending me messages saying that they’re glad to see me back just wow ;; i can’t believe people even noticed i was gone it’s just ahhughsgs thank you all so much <33 
Relationship status: um… single… yeah let’s just leave it at that
who is the first person you go to in a crisis, when you’ve had a hard day, or when you need to vent? Well… my best friend would be the first person i go to.. Except we’re on holidays right now and they have the worst reply game (bc they’re kinda not allowed to talk to me,,, it’s complicated lmao)
what is your love language? (if you don’t know it, there are plenty of love language quizzes on Google! I definitely encourage you to look it up and find it out for your benefit!) :ooo I did a quiz for this ages ago BUT I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN bc i forgot LOL 
OKAY i did it! I used 5lovelanguages.com so yeah.. Just in case anyone was wondering? But I guess my love language is quality time/words of affirmation and from highest to lowest it’s quality time (9), words of affirmation (8), physical touch (6), acts of service (4) and receiving gifts (3) 
what are the little things in your life that make you happy? Lmao all my friends bc we’re all SHORT AF.. but seriously,, just really small things can make me so happy, just being able to spend time with my friends makes me really happy?? Like we can just sit in (comfortable) silence, but i’ll be so content to just be there with my friends..  Quality time with friends?? thanks love language Does that count idk how to answer this
What is your favourite thing about yourself? Um physical thing?? Probably my hair tbh.. But like my actual fav thing about myself is um the fact that i’m empathetic, generally pre organised and good w/ time management and i can like teach myself stuff?? or maybe how i could be having the worst day of my life and i’ll still want to spread positivity and good vibes?? Yeah that’s pre cool 
what accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Uhh i got dux of english a few years back? I was in the top 10 of 4 subjects last year so that’s pre cool? But tbh the accomplishment i’m most proud of is probably just going to the school I go rn.. OR surviving last year lol 2018 was a mess 
What’s one piece of advice to yourself a year ago? GIRL things are gonna be tough. Like really hecking tough. But it’s not worth it to hold grudges, there’s no point letting fear of what could happen stop you from doing things you want to do and you will survive and you will be stronger because of it. Don’t let what other people say about you get you down, yes, it sucks to hear people speculating about you and your private life, but they have no idea what’s actually going on, and they’re just curious . No one has anything against you. You are loved, and you are worthy, and you are strong. You got this.
what is a skill you wish you had? To play guitar!! Or to be able to sing!!
Name three places you’d like to go to. Richard Rodgers Theatre to watch Hamilton, Music Box Theatre to watch Dear Evan Hansen and the Warner Bros Studio Tour in London. (but also, Japan, London and New York)
//STUDY & ACADEMICS//
What’s your degree/favourite subject? Uhhh it was drama but i dropped that and the 2019 school year hasn’t started yet so.. Who knows?
What motivates you to study? The fact that I gotta do well and get good marks in order to get into a good uni course… and the fact that i just want to keep getting better,, and i don’t want to disappoint people and i also don’t want to do badly bc yikes its real competitive at my school so like lowkey fear of failure
What time do you do your best studying? Tbh it really depends, it’s either the morning not long after i wake up (esp if it’s holidays or the weekend), right after i get home from school, or like late at night if i get a burst of motivation (like sometimes i’ll end up studying from 10:30 to 1am which isn’t sustainable if i have to get up at 7 for school) 
Best self care tip for exam season? Don’t spend your time around people who get really stressed out. It only makes you more stressed, and you don’t need that extra worry. Positive vibes only. Stay chill!
Do you listen to music when you study? Yeah. I just listen to music with no lyrics and I’ll use @studyquill​’s playlist :DD
Where do you do your best studying? I do pretty much all my studying at home so.. home?? but i have this spot at school that i like to go to in the mornings when no one’s at school yet because it’s super quiet and i can get some quality work done there 
What’s your go to thing when studying? Write notes, do practise questions, draw summary mind maps and try to recite my notes from memory
//MUSIC//
put your music library on shuffle, list the first 15 songs
Oh boi this is going to be interesting
How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran
Part of Me (Bonus Track) - Dear Evan Hansen
If I Could Fly - One Direction
Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer
If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen
Somebody to Love - Queen
Moving Along - 5 Seconds of Summer
Candy Store - Heathers the Musical
Cabinet Battle #2 - Hamilton
Guns for Hands - Twenty One Pilots
Sunrise - In The Heights
The Judge - Twenty One Pilots
Radio Ga Ga - Queen 
Defying Gravity - Wicked 
Shine a Light - Heathers the Musical 
Song stuck in your head: for some reason Acid Rain by Cimorelli just randomly came into my head when I woke up this morning?? so that i guess lol 
Last song you played: Alaska by Maggie Rogers
What are you listening to right now? well right now it’s Shine a Light lmao
what are your 5 favourite songs right now? THIS IS HARD OMG okay um Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix, Fire Away by Niall Horan, Walking in the Wind by One Direction and I discovered Light On by Maggie Rogers today so that too!!
What’s your favourite lyric right now? Darling you don't have to hold it/You don't have to be afraid/You can go 'head and unload it/'Cause you know it'll be okay
Fave artist? GOOD QUESTION.. I don’t have an answer lmao but I like 5SOS, Ariana Grande’s new songs, Ed Sheeran and the soundtracks to quite a few musicals but that doesn’t answer the question lol 
//FILM, BOOKS & TV//
Last movie you saw: I rewatched Crazy Rich Asians :))
Top three TV shows: lol i don’t watch TV but all times favs include Gravity Falls and The Simpsons annnnndd um… yeah I really don’t watch much TV lol
What are your favourite books? All time fav is Harry Potter, but rn my fav is probably 13 Reasons Why (i know it’s also a TV show so i might check it out!!)
Which ones are you currently reading or want to read? Right now, I’m reading Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. I’m only a few pages in though.
What’s the most recent book you’ve read? Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella
//MISCELLANEOUS// 
Describe your favourite colour without saying the name! Soft colour of love
What’s your favourite season? Probably autumn
Favourite animal? My pet dog lmao (i really like dogs but i love so many animals but we’ll just say dogs)
Last thing you googled: ‘fire away lyrics niall horan’ because i wanted to check i had the right words lol
How many blankets you sleep with: 1
If you could be a celebrity, who would you be? Probs Emma Watson or Ariana Grande
What is the last text you sent? Ummm i’ll check AND i quote “I AM,,, somewhat certain that’s correct bc like.. I don’t have any confidence in myself”  I was talking to my friend about an assignment lol
Average hours spent sleeping? 7-8 ish??? But during the school term, it could be more like 6-7 but still ain’t that bad???
WOW THAT WAS LONG if u actually stayed throughout all of this and read it all,, (which no one probably did) umm dm me your fav lyrics of the moment? yeah do that lol i wanna meet some new people 
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darcy137 · 7 years
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So my lovely @whalien27​ tagged me in this a long long time ago but I was in the middle of getting a new laptop (’cause my old ones heroically broke down right after my finals and after almost 5 years of loyal service to someone who is like the female version of Namjoon when it comes to destruction power), moving between my school and Boston and my internship place, and of course the start of my internship. Thus I had no time, until now, to do this.
Rule: Finish these 92 questions and then I’m supposed to tag 20 people. However my loser self don’t even have that many people I can comfortably tag so I’m gonna leave it open - you can do it if you see this on your feed and feel like doing it.
THE LAST: 1. drink: water 2. phone call: mom - which is funny, since I don’t call home that often 3. text message: with my group of roommate complaining about some projects I’m doing 4. song you listened to: Tomorrow - BTS. This is my motivational, my go to when I need a pick-me-up song. 5. time you cried: A few weeks ago - I watched The Ark’s The Light MV for the first time :/ 6. dated someone twice: yeah 7. kissed someone and regretted it: when I was in middle school and played a game where the game master would say things like “three arms” and you are supposed to make exactly 3 arms touching each other (you can join with other people). The game master said “two lips” and everyone thought it was a kiss, and since it was a kiss it would be better to do it with someone from the same gender so this girl grabbed me and kissed me before I could even react. Turned out by “two lips” the game master meant to press your lips together (a kiss would have been “two pairs of lips). I didn’t like the fact that the kiss was forced and it was to win a game, not for any romantic purpose - and we didn’t even win in the end, and it was completely unnecessary. So yeah, that was the only time I kissed someone and regretted it. 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: yeah 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no. I don’t like drinking, nor do I have high alcohol tolerance so I usually quit after one or two sips, and even I wouldn’t get pissed drunk that quick 
LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14. blue, pastel pink, purple, silver
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yeah 16. fallen out of love: yeah 17. laughed until you cried: yeah
18. found out someone was talking about you: yeah, but in a positive way: my Korean tutor (in our school for languages we usually have this system were we pair up a native speaker with a learner, so my tutor was a fellow student) told me her friend, who was a TA for our Korean teacher, told her that I did my homework well 
19. met someone who changed you: no, not during last year 20. found out who your friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no. I didn’t kiss anyone last year, period
GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: about more than half of them - the other half are people I works with on projects, so while I don’t really know them in real life I have talked to them in some way before or right after adding them 23. do you have any pets: no. I wish though - my dream is to have two dogs, one must be a German Shepherd, and may be a cat 24. do you want to change your name: no. I have grown to love my name over the years 25. what did you do for your last birthday: enjoyed school, hanged out a bit with my friend, applied like crazy for internship, had a minor quarter life crisis even though I wasn’t 25 yet 26. what time did you wake up: these days usually 6-7 am  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: trying to use internet. Ok so for my internship I was assigned a room in a student dorm nearby, which is super nice and convenient. However, since it’s a high school dorm, they cut off all internet connection at 1am exactly, so these days at 12am I would be crazily trying to savour the last hour of internet :))))) 28. name something you can’t wait for: going to LA after I’m done with internship 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: August 24th last year - that was the day I left Vietnam to return to school. 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: nothing. I sometimes wishes things like to be born in another country (because I’m always curious about what it’s like to be citizen of another country), or to know certain people (like, imagine what it would be if you are best friend with BTS!!), but ultimately, everything - both good and bad - that I have experienced in my life makes me who I am today, and that’s why I don’t want to change a single thing 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing. I’ll probably play something from BTS after I’m done with this though 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: rude people 34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, facebook, these days twitter as well since KCON is near 35-37. there was no question here so...  38. hair colour: very dark brown, like close to black brown, and the lower layer used to be dark bluish purple but it has faded a lot so it’s more purple mixed with light brown 39. long or short hair: long, like touching the middle of my back long. it’s the longest my hair has been in a while 40. do you have a crush on someone: normal people, not at the moment. celebrity, yes. 41. what do you like about yourself: my eyes and these days, my hair 42. piercings: ear piercings (the standard ones) 43. bloodtype: B, I’m about 60% sure it’s B positive but I don’t know 44. nickname: Darcy (yes it’s my English nick name - I don’t have it anywhere in any of my official paper), Huaiqiu, Gaeul, chubby cat, puppy, shrimp (apparently I sleep in curling position like a shrimp when it’s cooked so...), Mom, Aunt, Greatgrandma, Mama Bear 45. relationship status: single 46. zodiac: aquarius 47. pronous: she/her 48. favourite tv show: Criminal Minds 49. tattoos: none, though I sometimes flirt with the idea. If I ever do it, I would probably get a blue butterfly (something highkey reminding me of HYYH) or the sentence that I like the most from Tomorrow: Because the dawn before sun rises is the darkest). 50. right or left handed: right handed 51. surgery: does minor incision when they remove my wisdom teeth count? 52. piercing: wait does this question repeat? 53. sport: why do you think I was called “chubby cat”? Gym to me is like dance to Namjoon and Jin - something I can do if I need to, but probably not something I enjoy that much 55. vacation: I’m looking forward to my getaway to LA in August baby 56. pair of trainers: a blue runner pair
MORE GENERAL 57. eating: popcorn 58. drinking: water 59. i’m about to: read some fanfic 61. waiting for: the weekend 62. want: some motivation to study Korean, start learning case study and prepare my resume for consultant firms’ position 63. get married: I will think about it when my life and career are more stable 64. career: ideally HR, but I’m actually open to anything related to management, HR, development, customer services and even marketing
WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: kisses 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: for my partner, taller would be better but I don’t really care that much 68. older or younger: ideally older, but my ex was younger (though he’s probably as old as me, if not older mentally),so I don’t care that much I guess 70. nice arms or nice stomach: for others - I don’t really care. For myself, nice stomach - I’m a fatty especially around there :( 71. sensitive or loud: I’m more sensitive, and I would prefer people who are sensitive too unless you are Hobi then you are welcomed to be loud af my February Friend ~ 72. hook up or relationship: relationship, definitely 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: yes. ^see my story above 75. drank hard liquor: I don’t think so?? I might have accidentally drank something when I was a kid but honestly I can’t remember 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t even wear glasses nor contact lenses (10/10 eyesight here) 77. turned someone down: yeah 78. sex on the first date: eh... I have never gotten pass first base with anyone so... 79. broken someone’s heart: ... unfortunately yes 80. had your heart broken: yeah... 81. been arrested: hell no 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: yes, and man I fell hard
DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: not really... it has been a struggle for me, though I think I start to be able to do so a little bit these days 85. miracles: nah 86. love at first sight: definitely no. I believe in attraction at first sight - like, you can feel attracted to a person at first sight. However, to love someone means to learn about them, understand them and grow together in a positive way, so no way you can achieve that at first sight. I feel like people who claim they fall in love at first sight probably are attracted at first sight, and because they believe it is love they try their best in getting to know the other person and improve the relationship, which then turn it into real love.
87. santa claus: no. I even act as someone’s Santa Claus before so definitely no. 88. kiss on the first date: I don’t mind, but I also rather get to know the person well before kissing them  89. angels: no
OTHER:
90. eye colour: dark brown 91. favourite movie: I probably have a list, but the one I can remember right now are Conjuring 1 & 2, Insidious, Guardians of the Galaxy, Boss Baby, Pirates 1, 2 & 3, The King’s Speech
92.????? Is this question lost too??
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jasminenoack · 7 years
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“There are songs I’ll never listen to again but you can’t take all the thing that make me the way I’ve always been”(The Doubleclicks): The longest war
So I am going to talk some more about feminism. With some Rebecca Solnit quotes. 
“One girl raved about a nice voice mail a guy had recently left her. I kindly requested she play it and heard this gem: ‘Hey, Lydia. It’s Sam. Just calling to say what’s up. Gimme a ring when you get a chance.’ THAT WAS IT.” - Aziz Ansari
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Okay so that’s a little bit of Aziz. But now on to more serious things. 
Here in the United States, where there is a reported rape every 6.2 minutes, and one in five women will be raped in her lifetime - Rebecca Solnit
I went out a bit ago with a guy. And he was complaining about there being way more women than men in New York City. Which appears to not actually be true... And I said something off hand about not noticing because to be honest I’m so busy trying to filter out creeps that the pool seems relatively small. And the response I got was that women being concerned about men was bull shit. Basically word for word. 
There is, however, a pattern of violence against women that’s broad and deep and horrific and incessantly overlooked. - Rebecca Solnit
I wasn’t attacking this guy in particular, in fact i was actively not talking about him. I was talking about refusing to give someone my name, which I’d given him. Which is something I do. I’m relatively easy to find if someone was trying, as you can see by this url I have a reasonably strong presence online. Not to mention that my profile on OkCupid says I’m a web developer and my first name and that career easily land you at my linkedin and a bit more research will get you my email, my phone number, and a slightly out of date address last time I checked. And I don’t really want step one of vetting someone to be “Here please have all of my personal information, and my picture”. 
There are exceptions: last summer someone wrote to me to describe a college class in which the students were asked what they do to stay safe from rape. The young women described the intricate ways they stayed alert, limited their access to the world, took precautions, and essentially thought about rape all the time (while the young men in the class, he added, gaped in astonishment). The chasm between their worlds had briefly and suddenly become visible. - Rebecca Solnit
Now I don’t want to misrepresent, I’m extremely lucky. Nothing truly terrible has happened to me. I get creeped out a lot. On the funny end, I got a message from a guy named “Mr. Goodbar” which I kind of wanted to reply to with “maybe google Looking for Mr Goodbar”. I get messages, FIRST MESSAGES, on OkCupid that say things like “Give me your address I’m coming over now”, but I’m smart enough not to. I also get pushy guys that after two messages ask to meet immediately to have sex, and are sometimes extremely pushy, which is why I tend to not give out personal details early in a conversation(a lot of men send their name in the first message). Basically, I’m extremely careful, but I am like that because I know what happens when you’re not. 
It offered advice like this: “Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone ‘by accident’ you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can call for help.” While funny, the piece points out something terrible: the usual guidelines in such situations put the full burden of prevention on potential victims, treating the violence as a given. You explain to me why colleges spend more time telling women how to survive predators than telling the other half of their students not to be predators. - Rebecca Solnit
When I was in junior high my friends mother left her abusive husband, well she tried to and he murdered her in front of my friend and her two younger brothers. I know this because she showed up at another friends house while I was there to ask us to call the police for her when it happened. 
Happily the five publicly pro-rape Republicans in the 2012 campaign all losttheir election bids. (Stephen Colbert tried to warn them that women had gotten the vote in 1920.)  But it’s not just a matter of the garbage they say (and the price they now pay).  Earlier this month, congressional Republicans refused to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act, because they objected to the protection it gave immigrants, transgendered women, and Native American women.  - Rebecca Solnit
When I was 19 and home from college for a couple months a guy asked a friend if she was me and she told him she was meeting me(he knew my brother, ergo asking, at least that’s the story I was told). He followed us around for that whole day, then came home with us(he was 26) then informed me the next day we were dating. Over the course of the next 2-3 months I attempted to break up with him repeatedly, every time he would tell me I couldn’t do that without his consent. Then he would show up outside my house, outside my work, and in the small town I lived in, in the park where I met my friends. His cousin was my boss(who was so excited we were dating). So every time I had to go back to dating him. He told me that we weren’t allowed to spend a night apart, so I had to sleep with him every night, etc. I don’t want to get into it. My mom made fun of me for dating someone “stupid” but never stopped him from sleeping at our house. Neither did his parents who he lived with. I told my mom once I couldn’t get rid of him, and she laughed. I was terrified of losing my job. I was terrified that he was bigger than I was, and it was Maine, no one locks their doors, or windows, or cars. I dated him because it felt safer to know the rules then to see what he would do. I didn’t even break up with him in reality. I moved back to New York and stopped answering his calls. He threatened to “come to New York and find me” on a bunch of voice mails, but in New York I always felt like I was safe, 8 million people after all. And after a few months he stopped calling. 
Women’s liberation has often been portrayed as a movement intent on encroaching upon or taking power and privilege away from men, as though in some dismal zero-sum game, only one gender at a time could be free and powerful. But we are free together or slaves together. - Rebecca Solnit
When I was 15/16 there was this guy I knew he was 26 and had been in jail for statutory rape. Now when I was that age I was actually very religious. I had had one boyfriend and we hadn’t even gotten close to sex. My friends mother introduced him to us as someone her daughter might want to date, she knew his aunt or something. Her daughter wasn’t into it, so she decided to set me up with him. I thought he was cute, but he freaked me out. He called me from jail once to tell me he had beaten up a friend of mine who was also in jail. He use to sit on me, and hold me down, not in a explicit sexual way but it scared the shit out of me. One year on Christmas Eve I was at her house and he was there getting drunk. I learned later that someone had promised him they’d set me up with him that night. When I left around 1am to go home he followed me out to my truck, which honestly already made me uncomfortable. And when I went to get into it, he pushed me up against it and started aggressively making out with me. I had some difficulty stopping him, because 16 vs 26... I ended up kneeing him in the balls so I could get in my truck and drive away. I continued to see him for the next 2 years until I went away to college. This was not considered an issue by any of our mutual friends. 
We have far more than 87,000 rapes in this country every year, but each of them is invariably portrayed as an isolated incident.   - Rebecca Solnit
I moved out of my mother’s house halfway through my senior year of high school. I lived with my best friend, my ex-boyfriend, and 2 other male friends of theirs in a 1 bedroom apartment. As the only girl I slept in the room. But everyone used the entrance through my bedroom, no one ever knocked. When one of the “friends” would get drunk he would crawl into my bed in the middle of the night and start to “cuddle” me. I would pretend to be asleep as long as possible and hope he would fall asleep. If that didn’t work I would get out of bed and sit at the kitchen table and read a book until morning and just not sleep that night. 
What’s love got to do with it, asked Tina Turner, whose ex-husband Ike once said, “Yeah I hit her, but I didn't hit her more than the average guy beats his wife.”  - Rebecca Solnit
When I was around 14 my friend’s older brother would buy us beer. His parents knew and were fine with it. I found out when I was 19, from his mother, that the reason he did that was that he had a crush on me and was hitting on me, and she knew. Again he bought us beer so he was in fact 21. 
We have an abundance of rape and violence against women in this country and on this Earth, though it’s almost never treated as a civil rights or human rights issue, or a crisis, or even a pattern. Violence doesn’t have a race, a class, a religion, or a nationality, but it does have a gender.   - Rebecca Solnit
My ex-boyfriend who is generally a nice guy. One of his best friends beat his wife. Every time he brought it up I would say “that’s not okay”. And he would reply “It’s not really my business”.
Now like I said I’m lucky. I’ve never been seriously hurt. I’m lucky that I grew up around male step cousins and we fought I knew how to hold my own. I’m lucky that the guys were never super violent to me directly. I’m lucky that I was careful, I’m lucky that I got to move away from that small town. I’m lucky that I have some of the friends I did who told me, “You deserve better”. I’m lucky that I believed them. I’m lucky that I’m not a victim. But we are all unlucky where we live in a world where these things happen. Where we aren’t equal. 
There are so many great men and women in the world, but it’s so hard to be willing to even give people a chance when you are afraid of all the terrible things that could happen. And what doesn’t help is people denying these things. 
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