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oceans-swim · 2 years

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2021 writing self-evaluation!!!

tagged by the lovely @k1llingkind ty bestie but this was a jumpscare in my email inbox<3

1. number of stories posted to ao3

24! and i have orphaned everything on my ao3 before that haklsfd

2. word count posted for the year

68819!!!! holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. fandoms I wrote for

dsmp in the beginning, then third life/last life, and hermitcraft

4. pairings

hmm. flower husbands to etho and bdubs and skizz and tango

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments

aha. first mcyt fic i ever wrote. i regret it immensely thumbsup but it also has over 10k hits so i can't orphan it

6. work i’m most proud of (and why)

probably my skydiver au! or space au :D

7. work i’m least proud of (and why)

first mcyt fic again! we do not speak of it. also most of my early 2020 stuff. shh.

8. share or describe a favourite review you’ve received

sadie comments. every @infinitelysordinary comment Ever

9. a time when writing was really, really hard

hmm. it's always been hard, really? but especially as the year neared its end. really felt like i had to put Quality stuff out there

10. a scene or character that you wrote that surprised you

hmmm. last life tango fic, probably, i didn't expect to get as invested in it as i did

11. a favourite excerpt of your writing

probably from my cw!iskall and doc fic

The horror of that thought, the idea that the very structure of gravity and physics might fall apart within the hour, but even worse, they might lose a friend- it had their resolve hardening against those who were at fault. They swore to the wardens the trespassers were going to pay with something far more vital than blood.

Iskall was familiar with shattering. They felt it every time the world was tipped like an hourglass, sand cascading again and again, never quite the same. It was pure agony to feel the world outside their sanctuary be destroyed and remade whenever it fit the green god’s fancy.

Yet now their friend had gone through the similar wretchedness of the blasphemy of domains, and it was again the Weaver’s fault. Everything always seemed to trace back to him. The nature of a spiderweb, they supposed.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year?

so much. So Much. i think it had to happen with how much determination i put into it, and with the support of friends. shoutout to @lauriethetim bestie you are so cool and i appreciate you

13. how do you hope to grow next year?

in any way i can! here's hoping i write out my fae au and post it in full, really looking forward to that

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

oh. haha. i don't think i can tag laurie again. probably @lunarblazes !! beloved you're so cool and inspiring any day. also @onthevirgeofdestruction :D huge inspo, always has been <3333

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year

points at ventfics. looks away. also hmm maybe i'm using some of my inspiration from upstate ny for fae au :D

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers

never give up! of course it's okay to take a break for a bit, you should always take breaks, with art too, but never vow to never try again! i promise, you got this bestie. your work is far better than you know

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year

FAE AU !!!!!! huge excite also space au part three hopefully

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read

@crash-hawk heyyy i think your responses to this would be Cool

#oceans writing #:D

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waynewifey · 3 years

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Fading away. —

Pairing: Jason Grace x Roman!DaughterofPluto!Reader

Sumary: after moths of over working, a colapse makes you get into a coma and reflect on your feelings.

Warnings: coma, angst, Pluto as a caring dad, fluff at the end.

Words: +-3k.

A/N: This is my first Percy Jackson Franchise fanfiction, so take it easy on me. This is also my biggest and favourite one. I hope you like this! My requests are always open.

(Y/N) (L/N) had a good reason to hate Jason Grace. How could she not? Jason was so annoying, self centred, selfish, stubborn and worse of all? He dated Piper McLean. Piper was great, (Y/N) knew that and they seemed happy together. But, still, he chose Piper, not (Y/N), his girlfriend back at Camp Jupiter, who he totally forgot about. How come Percy remembered Annabeth but Jason wouldn't remember (Y/N)? And when he recovered his memory, he chose Piper. But she also loved him still, and seeing him hurt like a bullet going straight through her heart. She decided to spend a year at Half-Blood Camp to stay with her half-brother Nico Di Angelo when Gaea were defeated. She thought she could manage to see him almost every day, but she couldn't. So she started doing anything to get her mind occupied. Going on meaningless quests, travelling to New York randomly, volunteering for literally any service in the camp and barely sleeping — because sleeping meant dreams.

"It doesn't have to be like that, (Y/N)." Her brother gave her another shot of Nectar. The sunlight that entered Hades' cabin was leaving slowly as they talked, (Y/N) leaned on her bed watching her fingertips become solid again.

"I'll learn how to do it right and I promise I won't push myself too much, but I can't stop practicing." She avoided eye contact with Nico, feeling ashamed of herself. After all, she was supposed to be the one taking care of him, since she was older. She came back from a "quest" for her father, that was staying a weekend on the Underworld. She started using Shadow Travel to get there. The problem? She had no idea how hard it was, and she almost died every time. He sighted.

"I'm not talking about Shadow Travel. You should talk to Jason and sort this out. You're almost killing yourself everyday doing the craziest stuff just to keep your mind off him. He already broke up with Piper, what's stopping you now? I'm your brother and it pains me to see you suffering, I won't just sit and watch while you literally desapear." He got up and walked to the door. The (h/c) girl forced a smile so he believed she was fine. Nico left the cabin.

After hours reflecting and thinking, she heard the trumpets that announced the convocation to a game of Capture the Flag. Since she was feeling better, she changed her clothes and walked outside. The teams were: cabins 1, 4, 5, 9, 12, 14, 18, 21, 23, 27, 28, 29 vs. cabins 2, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 20, 24, 25, 26. They started the game. (Y/N) had to protect the boundary with a kid from Hipnos' cabin while a group attacked the opponent's flag and another protected their territory and their flag. Everything was going as planned, she hadn't seen anyone yet. Out of the sudden, she saw a blond guy running in their direction with a sword. Oh hell no, Jason Grace wouldn't attack her like that. But he did.

"What the hell?!" She screamed, reacting to the blade flying in her direction. Her teammate was asleep. She defended herself with her own sword and counterattacked. He invested against her leg, trying to make her fall. Her instincts took place, she jumped, attacked again and they started a meaningless battle. Jason looked the same as always. He was almost the same Jason that used to take her on cute dates in New Rome. But he fought like a greek. And that was when it hit her, he changed. The mixture of love and hate made her loose her senses for a bit, giving Jason the lead. He focused on her leg but hesitated to hit it, giving her time to get back on the fight. She knocked him to the floor, her foot on his chest and her blade on his neck, when she heard footsteps approaching quickly. Of course. It was a trap. She turned around and saw a son of Hebe holding her team's flag running, followed by two daughters of Hephaestus. She grabbed a knife from her belt and threw it to his leg, hitting exactly where she wanted. She then grabbed Jason's blade and Shadow Travelled. For a moment everything was fine, while she drowned into darkness, but then she couldn't get out. She saw her father's face mixed in the dark. He raised his hand and touched her face, than she was back at the forest. Realising not even a second had gone through, she attacked the — injured — boy and the two gigantic girls at the same time. She wasn't really expecting to defeat them, just trying to win some time so, hopefully, someone would come help her. The boy dropped the flag and got a small sword. The two girls had hammers... oh. The three of them attacked at the same time and she protected herself with Jason's sword, which flew away. She was out of hopes when a figure appeared beside her and started fighting them.

"What are you doing here?! You're not supposed to help me, we're enemies, remember?" She said, fighting Hebe's son.

"I guess you're welcome then." Jason replied smiling, fighting the hammers-girls. (Y/N) sighted in annoyance. Seconds later, her teammates came running from the enemies' territory with a flag and the three-people group surrendered. Everyone started screaming and celebrating. (Y/N)'s head hurt with the noise and she looked to her brother, feeling numb.

"Hey, can we talk?" Jason said, getting in front of her with a big smile. He was proud of himself for helping her? Of course he was. He was going to take all the credit for her team's win. The anger rose inside of her burning everything. She furrowed her eyebrows and with the last energy that remained in her body, she tried to Shadow Travel for the perhaps hundredth time that day.

She fell into the darkness while feeling her body desapear quickly. Her heart was very accelerated but then it stopped. She saw herself at the barks of Lete's river. I'm dead., she thought. The desperation started taking over. She remembered the face of all her friends. Her siblings, Hazel and Nico. Her mother. Her best friend Reyna. Camp Jupiter. New Rome. The Lar Vitellius. Lares? Lares! Maybe she could go back as a ghost! She would at least see her friends again.

"Didn't expect to see you this soon." A voice said with humor. She turned around, as always enlighten by her father's presence. But his face was sad. Not the everyday-sad-Pluto, but the my-daughter-just-died-sad-Pluto.

"Am I d-... dead?" The anxiety forbid her from crying in front of her father. The one she never knew and once she did, she didn't want to disappoint him.

"Yes and no. You see, my darling, there are things more powerful then death. Right now, your physical being is exhausted from travelling through darkness and light — which I told you not to, but we'll talk about this later, you have a decision to make. You're body is surrendering to Death out of hopelessness. But your soul, on the other hand, still fights for the heart beating in your chest. And your conscious, the controller of both body and soul, has to decide which one of them you'll support right now. As Lord of the Death that's all I can say to you. But as your father, I would like to say that we have a room for you in the castle, if you'd like that. And also, I feel obligated to show you what is happening on Earth." When he finished his words, an image formed in the air, sort of an Iris message, but no one saw them. (Y/N) saw herself laying on the grass, surrounded by some campers, Nico and Jason.

She was watching them from above. Jason put two fingers on her neck, trying to feel her pulse. She — the one in the Underworld — gasped as the blond boy whispered 'nothing'. She glanced at her father, who had a pained expression as he stared at Nico freaking out. Her brother had his hands on her chest and was murmuring something in greek. Then, he opened his eyes, filled with tears of desperation, and glanced at Jason, who didn't look any better. She wanted to scream and go back to up there, but her voice wouldn't come out of her throat.

"Half of her is already gone." Nico struggled to say. Everyone around gasped. "I can't Shadow Travel with her, it- it would k-kill the other half..."

"Let's take her to the Infirmary. Everything's gonna be fine. She'll be okay." Will Solace had appeared in the crowd and kneed down to take (Y/N) in the arms, being helped by the other two. As they walked, (Y/N) held herself in her arms, sobbing. She didn't want to die, not like that. The image faded away and Pluto hugged her. He never did that before. She left out all her emotions through the cry. Her father caressed her back and gently kissed the top of her head.

"Now you see, my child, what those on Earth are going through. You have a family up there. And if you'd ask me, Jason Grace is a good person, even being a son of my brother. You have a choice, so make it wisely." Pluto said, not backing away from the hug. She nodded and he immediately knew what her choice was. "You know I'd love to have you here with me, but I'd love even more to see you happy. Don't be reckless. And listen to your brother. You don't have to worry to come see me, I'll make sure to visit you during your recovery." As he said that, a white door appeared out of nowhere. "Here's your carpool." The girl started to walk to the door, when she heard Pluto say: "(Y/N) I lo-... Good luck." She smiled to him and went through into the door. It felt like eons in the nothingness. She felt so much pain all over her body. Then she gained conscience. She didn't knew how long it had passed. She also couldn't open her eyes or say anything, but she knew she was laying down something comfortable, a bed, perhaps. But she could hear perfectly well.

"... and I'm so sorry you had to die for me to gain the courage to say this. Please come back to us... Come back to me. Nico barely leaves this room and nor do I, Will had to force him to go eat. It's not the same without you, (Y/N/N), it really isn't." Jason's words gave her the urge to cry, but she couldn't. It was like her body had shutdown completely. She felt his warm hands on her cold ones and after that, a door was opened. Footsteps. Only one person. Jason didn't move. Someone sat down next to them.

"Dad- I mean, Hades said she will be okay." It was Nico's voice. He sounded extremely tired.

"Didn't he say that last month?" Grace was annoyed, but he didn't stop holding her hand.

"I know, I wish I could do more... I'm... I'm sorry Jason." The blond sighted.

"I should be the one to be saying that. I know there's nothing else to do. I'm sorry for putting the blame on you. It's just- if we've talked before, nothing of this would have happened. If only I was brave enough..." (Y/N) felt weak and her consciousness was back at nothing again. When she heard something again, it looked like a lot of time had passed by, but she wasn't sure at all. Jason's voice was happy as he told her his plans to the future.

"I realised you would like to work with me training the legion. You're obviously skilled and the payment is quite good. And I've heard they are planning to build a village here as well, but I don't know if you-..." Every time she tried to stay conscious, she felt weaker. 'Rest', her father's voice said inside of her head, so she let herself.

Some time...? A long time...? She didn't knew. But the next time she heard, she was way stronger. She waited until then, so she could stay longer and try to understand her emotions. She heard almost an entire day. Her friends entered and left cabin 13 — she found out that she was there. Some of them talked "to" her, some just sat there in silence. When alone, Nico talked a lot about Will Solace. (Y/N) smiled mentally. Then Jason entered. She could already recognise the sound he made walking. He sat beside her bed and held her hand, as usual.

"Hello, princess. You look better." She reunited all the strength she had storage and sent it all to her right hand. She softly squeezed Jason's hand, for a small portion of second, trying to say 'hi'. She felt exhausted. He gasped.

"She just squeezed my hand!" He screamed, laughing. Nico jumped out of his bed, laughing as well. They both stared at her, waiting for more. "You're there, right? I knew you were! It's been long months, but you're getting better. Don't work too hard. We'll see each other soon, don't worry." He kissed her forehead. After that, it was easy for her to let go and dive into her sleep again.

She was slowly getting better. She noticed her comas were smaller now, and she got stronger every time. She started communicating by squeezing people's hand. One time for 'yes' and two times for 'no'. But it still was exhausting. She met with her father a couple times through dreams, but it never lasted long. She was sick of it. She wanted to jump out of the bed and run through all the camp. She was alone with Jason, as he talked about the last time he went to Camp Jupiter, telling every change. She slowly forced herself to open her eyes. It wasn't for too long, just enough for her to see the big smile he had while talking, her favourite blond hair and how he gesticulated while speaking. By that time, her feelings were completely lined. She declined her childishness and stubbornness to accept the fact that she obviously loved him. Her lips were able to form a small smile. He hadn't noticed her yet. I can do this, she thought.

"J." She whispered for the first time in five months. Her eyes were already closed again. He gasped.

"Did you just say J? That's me! I'm here, i'm right here, love. Can you hear me?" She squeezed his hand one time. Yes. He chortled. "You're so strong. I miss you so much." He started softly crying. She squeezed his hand two times. No. Don't cry, she wanted to say. "Alright, 's fine, 's fine. Gods, you're coming back. I bet Aphrodite is watching us closely." He chuckled but suddenly stopped. "I forgot we haven't talked about that yet, i'm sorry. I don't wanna be intrusive, you know. It's just, by what Nico has told me, well, you still liked me." She squeezed two times. "That's... that's great, love. But don't worry about that just yet. You should take some rest now, my love."

Five days. She had woken up every single one of them, but only listening. No squeezes, no talking, no looking. Just storing strength. She knew she was close to fully waking up. She was already able to keep track of the days. It was a Sunday, the day she received the most visits. It should be morning, because she only heard Nico's snorting. She slowly opened her eyes. The same place. Different clothes. She wondered who had changed them. Perhaps Will did. She systematically moved her arms, pushing herself to sit. Her back was laying at wall. She took a deep breath. It was going fine. She wanted to wake Nico up, but she decided to wait to see if she would be able to actually stay awake. About an hour later, Nico woke up by himself. He yawned and turned to her bed. She looked at him with a big smile. He jumped out of bed.

"Holy shit, (Y/N)! You're up! How- Wait! I need to- Wait! Don't fall asleep, I'll be right back!" She blinked slowly to sign 'ok'. He was back moments running later with a bunch of teenagers in pyjamas. They all froze at the door, staring at her. Hazel, Frank, Annabeth, Percy, Jason and even Piper. Hazel was the first one to wake up from the trance. She ran to her sister and hugged (Y/N).

"Ouch." She managed to say, reacting to the tight hug that made her head hurt.

"Right, sorry! I forgot. Wait, you speak!" Hazel answered and laughed. All of the others joined in, amazed by her friend, and started talking, telling everything she had missed. (Y/N) couldn't speed properly, only a few words like 'hi', 'ow', 'miss' and 'food'. Later that day, Will came to check on her. He said everything looked just fine, but that she should rest.

"Hey." Zeus' son said, once they were alone.

"Hi."

"Gods, it's so good to finally hear you again. I've talked to myself for a long time." They giggled softly. (Y/N) wasn't showing any signs of it, but that day had been extremely tiring. Her entire body hurt but she couldn't give up just yet.

"I... heard." She whispered. "A bit." Her eyes tried to close but she opened them wide, fighting her own nature. Jason noticed that.

"Hey, no need to over do it.” He brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"Sleep... here." She begged, placing her hand beside her. He froze for a moment, embarrassed. And then, with a rubor across his face, he sat on the bed beside her. She laid her head on his chest and quickly fell asleep.

“Go to sleep, love. We have all the time in the world.”

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #fluff imagine #percy jackson imagines #percy jackson fanfiction #jason grace #jason grace x reader #jasonissocutehelp #nico di angelo #nico di angelo x reader #daughter of hades #pls send requests

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missmentelle · 6 years

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How do you get out of a 'funk', in a practical way? For times like when you feel demotivated and just weird and 'not right', or overwhelmed, all the advice you see online is like "SELF CARE, REST DAYS!!!" but what if you still have to go to work and meet all of your commitments, you can't take a day off, you already have support from a therapist but your therapy appointment isn't for another week, or you have like 3 days left until your next 'rest day' etc? Are there things that help day-to-day?

This right here is the exact problem with a lot of the “self-care” advice that gets floated around the internet. A lot of that advice - like “take days off!” or “go to the spa!” - really only applies to middle-class people who have disposable income and the ability to take time off work. And in any case, “rest days” aren’t always a good idea for everybody - for a lot of people (me included), spending an entire day lounging around the house in ratty pajamas makes us feel worse, not better.

Self-care isn’t something that needs to be done in big, day-long or hours-long chunks. It can be little habits sprinkled throughout the day that help keep you going. If you’re looking for suggestions, I recommend:- shift your sleep schedule by half an hour so you’re getting up earlier and going to bed earlier. Waking up with minutes to spare and scrambling to rush out the door means that you’re starting your day with a rush of stress and anxiety, and it also means that you’re probably skipping out on other important self-care, like eating breakfast and taking a shower. No one thrives like that. Giving yourself more time in the morning means you can take your time getting ready and start your day relaxed and refreshed.

- squeeze whatever physical activity you can into your day. This doesn’t necessarily mean going to the gym - little things like taking the stairs, walking a little further to a different bus stop or going for a 15 minute walk in the evening adds up. Most of us don’t even realize how crappy we feel when we’re sedentary, and even a little bit of extra walking can make a huge difference.

- try to eat well. It’s tempting to exist on a steady diet of granola bars and ready-made food when we’re busy, and that can also make us miserable in the long run. Try not to skip meals, and do your best to eat something with some protein three times a day. Some days will be better than others, but we all feel our best when we’re fed.

- if you live in a winter climate, consider investing in a Seasonal Affective Disorder lamp. I grew up in Canada, and a lot of my friends and family rely on these lamps to feel okay during the long winter months.

- limit your multitasking. Most of us exist in this state of constantly feeling guilty, no matter what we’re doing, because we “should” be doing something else. When’re doing homework, we feel guilty for not doing the dishes. When we’re doing the dishes, we feel guilty for not going for a jog. It never ends, and it’s no way to live. Practice giving yourself permission to do whatever you’re doing right now, and ONLY what you’re doing right now. “I am doing the dishes. This is what I need to be doing right now, and nothing else. I will do other things later, after I have finished with this.” It’s a small thing, but it can make a big difference.

- lower your expectations for yourself. The pressure we put on ourselves is insane. We all pressure ourselves to have perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect makeup; we push ourselves to give 110% at work every day, to work on creative projects, have spotless homes, thriving social lives, large social media followings and fairy tale love lives. It’s too much. Scale back your expectations of yourself. Some days you will barely give 50% at work, sometimes your house will be a mess, and sometimes you will eat cold pizza over the sink. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Do your best, and accept that you are a human, not a robot.

- have something that you look forward to every day. This doesn’t have to be something big - in fact, it shouldn’t be. This could be as simple as looking forward to your morning coffee, or the podcast you’re going to listen to on your commute, or the piece of cake you’re going to treat yourself to after dinner. Pick one thing that you’re going to look forward to tomorrow. I have a cuddly little dog who sleeps in my bed at night, and no matter how stressful or crappy my day is, I know I can look forward to coming home and snuggling with her. Everyone needs something.

- do some deep breathing exercises throughout the day. These can be done whenever you need to, even if you only have a minute to spare. The easiest is probably the 4-7-8 breathing technique - inhale through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and then exhale through the mouth for 8 seconds. Repeat as many times as you need, until you are feeling calmer and more relaxed.

- limit your social media intake. Social media is basically designed to make us feel shitty about ourselves. Every time we log on, we’re looking at highlight reels of other people’s lives, without any context - and it looks like everyone else’s life is a non-stop festival of exotic travel, friends, laughs, major accomplishments, cute outfits, and expensive food. It doesn’t give a whole picture of other people’s lives, and it can leave you feeling like you don’t measure up. If you find social media makes you anxious or sad, try taking breaks or limiting your exposure.

Hope this helps!

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