#its almost 3 tho and i cant...

[luck-of-the-drawings]

"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi the suckening #arthur bennett #HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT? #LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT #this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page. #but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT #ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH #WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW? #ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME #DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER #HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW #AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE #I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much.... #AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game #but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping #DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds #I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors #what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012. #almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS. #only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE #while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs #THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN #WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS #the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess. #i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band #EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION

[milkbreadtoast]

thinking abt how the original QPB trio wouldve been just 3 mentally unwell adults w lifetimes of trauma and KdjfksjdKFJJS...

#no wonder they were beefing /j #they need yeseo... AHAH #idk like #i still dont know ga-in's full deal but from what ive seen... #def parental (and workplace) abuse going on... #cedric... self explanatory #and jesse like... being an illegitimate child ooh and his stepfather dedicating every min to trying to ruin his life umm #yeah... #not that i dont think yeseos also had a perfect life... im keeping my eyes open at the bits of foreshadowing for him i wanna know his deal #cant stop thinking abt how he almost never mentions his parents? whats up w that #twsb #twsb spoilers #(just for the ga-in bit)m #i wanna know more abt jesse tho... #sigh will never stop losing my mind that cedric went from beefing w jesse as a love rival #to falling in love with him (but its actually a diff guy. our yeseo...🤧 #im crazy for this but cant stop thinking abt QPB cedjess..... #esp since apparently they couldve gotten along if it werent for the circumstances... ough #idc abt romantic cedchris at all tho like thank u for resetting the timeline <3 #i wanna know what... that last moment was like... #when jesse sacrificed himself to save cedric.... #jesse telling him to be happy with christelle/take care of her... #what was cedric's reaction... what was the look on both of their faces in that moment... #ghhHHH i would want to see og cedjesschris but not as a love triangle w chris at the center like it was before... #i'd just wanna see platonic shenanigans #but the og novel wasnt like that... 😔 #actually it makes me wild considering that the original QPB trio didnt have/use powers #like thats wild to me. they were so different..... #the genre switch was so good for them <3 #went from shoujo to shounen /j

[altruistic-meme]

genuinely so upset about not being able to scream to my mom about my cardigan :')

#genuinely. not happy. #it sucks guys!!!! it sucks sooo much you don't get it!!!!!!!! #this is the first time I've ever been making something and not been able to go to my mom about it and thats so #its just #im sad #especially bc like. i could be asking her help. for an idea. for a stitch. when i mess up. and i cant. #man. #and i can't share my joy either!!!! #I'm almost done!!!!! and i can't send her photos!!!!!! i won't be able to send her finished photos either!!!!!!!!! #I'm gonna cry about this while i work on the border some more i just wanted to yell for a moment <3 #but bc its trans colored and she KNOWS the tran flag and im not out to her and she'll understand what it means and im!!!!!!! #maybe i do it anyway and thats how i come out LMAO im kidding thats terrifying. its all terrifying tho so yolo amirite #tell her im making it for my friend abram :'))) #which very possibly ALSO would be seen right thriving bc i HAVE talked to get about aftg fjsjfjsjjsjf #but that situation gives huge 'elephant in the room' by confetti vibes #anyway #back to crocheting i just got really hit with the sad #shh ac

[fivefeetfangirl]

giving you this honorary badge as soon as you are finished

putting this on my resume <3 although i am so so NOT WELL

#kdjfhksdjfh this fic is making me insane #i cant wait to snuggle up in bed soon and read the last part #91w #omg just thought about 'it feels like this' again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #how will i ever recover from this #i used so long to answer this val sorry <3 #cause like...i am so not emotionally well lmao #ive either been shaking crying hurting or completely frozen almost the whole day hsjdhsjdhsjd #when i finished i couldnt even say a word lmaoo #anyways. its been a journey. and it has been super fun with everyone who has followed it <33 #still one part left tho #and the insanity is forever <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i spend so mad god damn time bitching on this website. its bc i dont talk to ppl. whens the last time i had a non functional conversation? #uuuuhhh last weekend or maybe the weekend before that? so like i gotta complain somewhere. so if i stop complaining u can assume i made #friends lmao. ugh. its just. im worried. im worried abt how this semester is gonna go. how this phd program is gonna go #bc i spent the last 2 years destroying myself. realized ive gotta stop doing that. haven't figured out how to stop and now im gonna triple #the amount of pressure im under while trying to do things in a more healthy way. its just like. it objectively doesnt seem like a formula #for good things to happen. im more worried for how catastrophic its gonna b on my brain than i am abt the things i think most ppl would b #concerned abt. like im not worried abt planning and executing a project or teaching beyond fear of the unknown #its like. ive done these things before. theyre difficult but u make due and tackle the problems. but when it comes to: how to maintain a #healthy school/life balance? i dont even kno where to start with that. i just dont bc when u have a learning disability things just take #more time but like how much time is too much? where does it end? i dont kno how to manage it and i dont wanna hate my project by the end #of this. i want to b excited and not paralyzed bc im afraid i cant change my behavior and its gonna kill me #and im worried bc im meeting with my advisor for the 1st time since march before i agreed to join thr lab and have i prepared for this #project which is almost complete unrelated to what i did in my last lab? no bc ive been managing data and im still not done managing data #bc i cant focus bc i collected that data in a way that was actively self destructive. and i mean i kno itll b fine. thr guy seems nice i #just hate that im showing up devoid of enthusiasm bc its all been drowned out by the fear. and thats also gonna make teaching a problem #bc its hard to b excited abt things when there's a hole in your chest and ur desperate for someone to tell u how to fix it. but idk helping #ppl does usually make me feel better so maybe itll b a good thing. forgot how much i feel like im dying when i sit in meetings and #classroom tho lol. god its been 2yrs since i was a student. classes feel like such bullshit now. and yet if i dont get all As i might die #my students better b good. i have the 1st lab section bc thr lead ta couldnt do that time. so im the trial lab and i start fucking Monday #who tf does labs the 1st week of class? ugh. also its an intro bio so like 2/3 of thr class r freshman. lil bby 18yos and some r non bio #majors. and ive been warned that sometimes there r problems with ppl who don't believe in evolution and cause problems. pls let my classes #b good. im not that worried. its just gonna b annoying as fuck. im not good at being authoritative #ugh. i should b reading papers so i dont look like too much of an idiot tomorrow. itll b fine im just an anxious freak. a lil over a week #until i can try to find a therapist. probably seek medication bc i dont kno how else to stop this bullshit. annoying. i grew up with a dad #who gets anxious abt the idea of taking too much medication when he tskes a single ibuprofen. in this household we feel pain and then we #die miserable. this is all his fault. we have the same brain.im just a lil more irradidic than him #its so funny i say that bc im like the least irradic person ever. i do the same things every god damn day. im just irradic in terms of #sometimes i feel like my brain is on fire and im a cry bby lol #whatever. enough bitching. ive got papers to read. or maybe ill just go to bed and read them tomorrow 🙄 #unrelated

[wabblebees]

im like if the most useless boytoy twink was also an incredibly handy butch lesbian

#this post is about me collapsing as soon as i got home from work #where i used a garden hoe i sharpened myself to hack down+tear out a truly impressive thistle 3× my size while 3 of my coworkers watched #swung it overhead like an axe until the centre stalk (almost the size of my wrist) was felled. then hoed around it until the roots came free #& i could grab it with my hands where there werent any thorns. turned around and all 3 of em were lookin at me like 😳😳 lmao #but now im sitting in my bathtub bc i cant stand long enough to shower anymore hdksgsk #knew this morning it was a bad pain day but pushed thru it anyway bc!! there was work to do!! but now im gonna be totally useless for 24hrs #cest la vie i suppose #after the thistle was properly disposed of just kept tilling+weeding+fixin tomato cages in the fields. came home & felt sooo dykey+hot lmfao #was like ''fuck yeah man idk what was up with me this morning im feelin fine now! great even!'' #then took my knee braces off to get into the shower & almost busted my ass on the tile when both of em gave out🤦 #my shoulders are now reminding me that i Dont Have the muscle mass to use a bigass hoe like anything but a hoe w/out Paying For It later #its a good thing i have the day off tomorrow bc im going to turn into a slug as soon as im done steaming meself like a little dumpling #definitely thinkin about using my pathetic-wet-cat-charm to get someone to bring me food tonight tho... hmm #anyway. wheres that post #''im not a butch but i believe their beliefs'' #its my exectution thats lacking lmao. but in any case #mwah. mwah mwah mwah #<-for all the butches out there. ily tysm youre wonderful #and to all the useless boytoy twinks out there: o7 <3 #godspeed fellow hopeless fags. ily too. keep doin what yr doin lmao #bee speaks

[mossy-covered-bones]

41 non-crossover works in this fandom and none of them are about the specific line that made me open ao3 >:[

i canNOT be the only one to want to write about that

#the king literally said. to his court scientist. ‘that unfounded hope makes you seem pathetic. i like that’ LIKE BESTIE #i mean. court scientist is almost like court jester right? youve seen the memes about that dynamic. i know you have #idk if i quoted that right bc ive played this so many times that im just skippin through this dialogue #have i written smut before? not that ive managed to finish. will i so that SOMETHING about thsi exists on the internet? abso fucking lutely #its almost 3 am tho so it cant be rn #sev rambles

[widevibratobitch]

.

#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333 #sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy #both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol #and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol #am i jealous? fuck yeah i am. #and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like. #when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig #but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee #but yknow. dont give up uwu' #and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her #and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend #but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt #*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should #and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson #and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3 #now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?' #also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today #and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests #im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol) #i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up #in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown. #but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair #i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant #and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice #anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7 #like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her #and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is #oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty #when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot #because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'

[aggressivenesswhilecrying]

I like forced proximity tropes when it's a little wholesome, and such, and always platonic

#aggressivetalks #i had my own version with this durring the summer #two months #camping #with my little cousin and aunt #i love my little cousin to death #i took her to so many events #got her way too much ice cream cuz it was a camp ground #its was great #we did so many little things #anyways #i cant wait for summer again #i want to take her to do as much as possible #shes 7 years younger then me #ive lived with her for almost 3 years #forced proximity really just works well with us #i love my little cousin even tho she drives me mad

[faultsofyouth]

Cranky because your job started off good but has slowly taken control over your entire life and everything you do even when you arent clocked in, aren't you

#my posts #im so fed up i will only work high now i dont even give a fuck #i cant smile and walk around for 7 to 10 hours a day unless im stoned because this is not what i signed up for #i dont need a full time job because my mommy loves me!!! why am i working so much!!! #also my absent father ass district leader saw me wanting to quit and tried to assuage me by cutting my hours #but has done nothing at all to cut my 1st As hours even tho she works almost as much as i do??? #literally we both work 2 open to close shifts every week (i do 3 this week) #but DL has only agreed to shorten my shifts.... we are both overworked and understaffed #i dont trust DL even a bit tbh because she had literal months to find more staff for us before our store leader and last 1A left #months. and did nothing. and actually hired people to lead other stores that get less traffic than us #but somehow now that im quitting she is in the final stages of hiring people for us? but cant tell us their names or when they would start? #or anything about them? and also is asking us who we can promote who already works here? #its fucking ridiculous im so fed up

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

#long post #snap chats #when it comes to Famous Persons Coming Back i was also just like 'theres no way they could get george takei back right' #LISTEN i know the eng dub is not to be spoken of but it exists and it cant be denied takei's REALLY prolific in the states yeah #so i HAD to ask it was WORTH asking myself. unless they decide to swap arakawa's eng VA but w/e its not overly important #moving on. its ok most people dont read anyway no worries about missing a subtitle </3 a painful reality but. we take W's where we can. #OH BUT TO END /MY/ NIGHT THO i LOVED One Missed Call UGH such a good horror movie #i wanna watch it with my dad so bad he loves horror/suspenseful movies and we used to watch em whenever id visit him #KYOUEN'S A DARLING OF A SHOW SO FAR I THINK IVE SAID THAT ENOUGH but yeah......... BIG love........ #i'm almost done with it. if i said i finished it earlier i think i lied i cant remember POINT IS I JUST HAVE THREE EPS #i plan on watching them before stream time tomorrow so that'll be cute :] #buuuut speaking of finishing watching things i Just finished watching the first We Make Antiques movie and UGH #love. love love love it was so silly but also really fascinating to watch... team of forgers thats WILD and i loved it.. #i wish i had access to the sequels tho like PLEAASE i wanna watch these two be losers more.... #they became domestic with each other so quickly like goddamn.. money can do anything #it can make two dudes trying to con each other work together.. its beautiful..... #ok now thats all from ME for tonight. id talk more on the jo and aoki bits but theres a good chance ill do that during stream #or. ill draw it during stream. me drawing is the same as me talking now innit Let My Bullshit Speak For Me etc etc #ok thats all from me fr this time BYE

[neonsbian]

my hand hurty

#remember the little story i wrote by hand while the power was out #well turns out i cannot write it while typing ghskgjsk #i tried but my mind just goes blank every time i look at it #so i tried just writing by hand and boom explosion of ideas #anyway im literally writing a little bit by hand every day and its lowkey killing me but i also love it #i also say a little bit but im p sure its almost 1k words everyday? #i mean i cant count it but its usually 3-4 pgs so ~1k words #new writing method? #idk tho i dont think this is sustainable my hand is rlly killing me #vinnie talks

[bobzora]

fuck saori is so good

#bobtalk #p3pposting #yakushima/aigis(<3) soon...just gotta get thru the third block lol... #(i dont hate tartarus but well it can be a bit of a drag. im up to date on requests though!) #when it comes to hamuko's SLs... saori peak rio whatever (kenji...) but i like her post-SL line if u talk to her again junpei so great #junpei is rising on my list his (friendly) chemistry with femc is so much stronger than with minato. bestieisms #i dont think yukari is much different...? but its a good touch that she doesnt need any social stats for femc LOL. hashtag girl #im behind on knowledge (almost maxed charm...lol...) which sucks cuz i cant start akinari yet :( or mitsuru. she wants so much from me..sig #so far ive maxed tanaka & rio. saori rank 9. i think im rank 2 on akihiko and 5 or so on junpei & yukari #(rank 3 studentcouncil just for a fusion request...lol.) #i started fuuka (i didnt in fes i think LOL). shes kind of a 'if nobody else is avaliable' situation. no offense #im probs doing the romances (minus The Obvious) just for content (+ well. spoiler reasons) but right now im in delusional yuri territory bt #oh i do like ryoji tho. him n aigis r 'I Will Love You In Every Lifetime' ass lmao #but yeah. i cant believe hamuko has so many girlfriends! hashtag girl. whatever #someone needs to show saori rev girl u/tena. just by the way #ok goodnight

[anotherpapercut]

I'm trying so fucking hard to organize my work place and I just cannot get people to show up to meetings or have conversations with other people. we have like 62 confirmed yesses and we need to have like 120-130 minimum by the end of February to be able to go forward

#start organizing your workplaces as soon as possible bc its a fucking long and arduous process #and if you want it to happen you have to actually work for it. you cant just complain and then do nothing to help 😩 #i want to be mean to these people but i need their help #people keep telling me they dont want to spend an hour per week on it bc they already work full time #which i get but its just annoying to hear bc last semester i was working like 50+ hrs a week between 3 jobs #and i still showed up to almost every meeting and continuously had conversations with people at work relating to the union #so its just like. come on. i know were all busy but the meetings are an absolute maximum of 1 hour #usually half that tho. and you don't have to come for more than a few minutes to get updates and show your support #also its on zoom! you dont even have to go anywhere! #im just so frustrated i want to cry. every week its just me and the 2 other guys who come most weeks #one of whom lives in another state and no longer works at the library

[guinevereslancelot]

shoutout to girls who can't drive

#working on it but at what cost 😭 #i need a job that pays money instead of costing money tho to fund my job that costs money until it starts paying money someday 😔 #spending so much money i dont have right now on it 😬 #almost my entire savings went to trees for this spring and then i have to plant 700 by myself <3 #and we're renting sheep to restore one of our fields and just everything else to get ready is really adding up i really need some income #hopefully i can get away with part time tho bc there's so much work to do at home lol #im doing a pumpkin patch and a sunflower field this year too #and if i can scrape together 500 dollars im going to get a decent starter camera for funzies and also to take nice pics for the website #bc its very pretty but hard to capture on my phone #anyway if u cant drive u are smart you are valid you are capable you can succeed #anyway i know cars are evil etc but i live in a rural area w no public transportation of any kind and rn im relying on my mom lol #i do drive short distances with my dad in the car bc his driving is terrifying #but anxiety 😬 #there's a place im hoping i can work that's not too far i think i can handle the driving its just getting a license that's stressful #anyway @ girls who can't drive i believe in you <3 #this has been a shitpost #my mom would sometimes drive me to freelance stuff thats how i have savings but i really hate to bother her driving me everywhere #so i really want to be able to drive myself to a regular job lol

[blessedshortcake]

Pants update

#im ready to burn the house down #someone actually sedate me i spent 3 days 3 fucking days working on it #AND ITS STILL. OFF. COLOUR. IM RUNNING OUT OF DYE #I BOUT 13 THIRTEEEEEEEN FUCKING BATCHES #OF DYE #AND IM RUNNING #OUT #DO YOU KNOW #HOW MUCH #THAT IS #ive cried about. 8 times the past 4 hours #i. i csnt. i cant fucking. i cant. take this shit. how. why. why. why how and whyyyyy #ive had more caffeine than what should be humanly possible and my ears are ringing like i just got flashbanged #i really really badly need a hug or at least Any human contact ive been locked in here Alone since friday #like to Speak to someone or or i dont fucking know ill take ANYTHING at this point #i think i am losing it like i thought there was nothing beyond where i was before but i guess i was wrong /lh #how do you make friends these days i Need more people to talk to i have 2 online friends i talk to almost every day #and that is it. i have Occasional friends whom i still love but i think being stir crazy is partially from my ass having no one to #talk to. idk tho im still just losing it rn so i am literally just rambling 😭 help