#its almost like we're all autistic and know what the fuck we're talking about

[pigeonwit]

davey jacobs but he has meltdowns. big ugly meltdowns where he cant be touched or spoken to and just needs to be left alone to cry and stim and scream and go catatonic for a little bit. davey jacobs but he has involuntary twitches and stims that include punching himself, twitching his neck/his face, knocking his knuckles together, scratching his skin, etc. davey jacobs but he has shutdowns where he just cant get out of bed or shower or do anything because his energy is so thoroughly spent that even moving hurts. davey jacobs being autistic but not the 'palatable' kind of autistic that neurotypicals find cute and quirky. but his loved ones still love him anyways and don't get frustrated with him for it. they try to help him stim the way he needs to without hurting himself. they dont get mad when hes so exhausted that he cant do certain things because they know its not a matter of choice or pushing yourself or him purposefully not wanting to make an effort for them, he simply cannot do it just yet.

davey jacobs being autistic in ways that are inconvenient and frustrating. davey jacobs being deeply ashamed of that all his life. davey jacobs learning over time that there are people who will not treat his autism and its more difficult aspects as an obstacle to overcome in order to love him.

davey jacobs being autistic and still being loved unconditionally for it.

#now switch out 'davey jacobs' for 'me; tumblr user pidge pigeonwit' #i need to go to back to university right now or i will DIE. #anywhore. this isnt me saying 'ugh the newsies fandom treats autism like [x]' tbc #honestly all the autistic headcanons ive seen have been dope and received well. #its almost like we're all autistic and know what the fuck we're talking about #but man!! i sure hate how autistic people have to constantly be behaving ourselves in order to be treated like fucking people!! #both in real actual life and online!! #vent #too poor for therapy tag #newsies #davey jacobs #uksies

[shakertwelve]

the obvious defense of this point would be that Victoria is simply supposed to be Wrong About It, which I would love, except that the narrative very carefully bends to make sure that Victoria is Always Right, and ESPECIALLY Always Right about Cape Science

[ context: the quote we're talking about: “I guess it doesn’t make sense as a thing powers would do.  Powers tend to steer clear of the suicidal, the helpless, the invalid, or people who are limited.” ]

my best guess as to what wildbow meant, if he put any thought into this at all? this is ward's version of the scene in worm that goes out of its way to make clear that labyrinth is not autistic and had a "normal" mind before her trigger (and the similar clarification about bitch). wildbow didn't want to write about developmental disabilities, probably because he thought he didn't know enough about the subject not to mess up and get in trouble for writing something offensive, so his solution was to just state that no one in parahumans is meant as "representation" of that demographic and avoid the issue altogether. this at least makes some kind of sense, if you are wildbow.

the obvious issue here is that this quote doesn't just single out developmental disabilities, but is phrased broadly enough to apply to almost any kind of illness or disorder. worm presents superpowers as explicitly tied to a traumatic event and as a metaphor for the effects of trauma, and experiencing other forms of illness and distress make someone much more likely to process an event as a trauma, so logically, mentally ill and disabled people should be overrepresented in the parahuman population (feeling "helpless" or distressed enough to be suicidal are common elements to many parahuman triggers), and the ways capes tend to act in the text of both books consistently reflect this. the only other explanation i can think of is that we're using an extremely restrictive definition of mental disorders (i.e. we're being the guy who thinks adhd isn't a real neurotype, so imp and kid win don't count, and low-empathy is just code for being a bad person, so cradle doesn't count, and so on...), and even that doesn't explain why we're claiming physically disabled people also can't get powers, when wildbow has written about it happening plenty of times (thank you @john-cherry-the-6th for bringing up this wog about triggers in suicidal people that includes the trigger event of a coma patient). also, we've seen that powers can cure illnesses as part of the trigger (see: vikare, famously the first hero ever, whose powers manifesting cured his cancer) if they really need to (they don't even do it all the time if the host isn't dying and can still fight with the power, like genesis), so why would they care if a prospective host is disabled? but whatever--let's disregard all evidence to the contrary and assume that all capes were 100% Mentally Normal (a very objective standard) before their triggers, so their erratic behavior after triggering must be purely the influence of their superpowers.

of course, now we have to go back to the first part of the quote. victoria claims that she doesn't think it's likely that finale's powers would affect her mental development after she manifested them, because powers want their hosts to be able and ready for action. so that can't be why capes like labyrinth and bitch exist, either; powers avoid choosing "limited" people as hosts and they also don't want to make their hosts limited, therefore all parahumans must be healthy because shards want healthy hosts. except there's absolutely no way any scientific study of parahumans in this world would come to this conclusion! scores of therapists run themselves ragged dealing with the various complexes of just the heroic capes, and capes on the "villainous" side are understood to be, on average, even more unstable! victoria has been working with jessica yamada, who definitely knows this, for ages! what the fuck is she talking about!

CONCLUSION: ??? wildbow got confused while writing about his own setting's alien brain parasites and started describing yeerks instead

#ask

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

slides into your inbox

hi i uh. drank a sinister potion (dr. pepper) on the way to school this morning and the problem with perfection filled my head for the fiftieth time so. i'm here now. soooo uh, warning for a very crazy caffeine induced audhd rant. 👍

i just like.... kinda wanna let u know how much this fic means to me. like fr. like seriously. it means a lot to me. we've been mutuals for a while so i feel like now's def a good time (and a long time coming lmao)

iirc i found ur fic when i was in the danganronpa trenches in like, 2021/2022 i think? it was summer and i had nothing better to do with my free time and i was super bored and ishimondo was my personality and i found it while going thru ao3 and was like "yeah. this sounds cool"

and i did NOT know what i was getting into let me tell you. adored the writing really fast. ur skill level actually blew me the fuck away like. instantly. all the characters were incredibly in character, everything was so detailed and i LOVED the fact that you made your writing very emotion driven. like you wrote a lot with like, exaggerated punctuation and pauses and spaces and stuff that i rarely ever see but i feel like your writing was like, so much better for that??? its something i've started to use in my writing because it just draws you in so much and just. puts you into their shoes almost instantly. like it sounds like you're in their head. like i think like that (got that narrator brain in me) and it was just so cool to see someone write like that. got a lot of good moments

and i honest to god binged that fic because it had me by a chokehold. like i'm talking i barely got sleep because i was so excited to read the next chapter the next day that my body would wake me up earlier. and i'd pull it out and binge the next chapter. and when i got to a point where the chapters where still being updated, i remember checking like. every sunday night or so every week to see if it got updated. so many cliffhangers that i was not normal about..........

and i recommended it to EVERYONE i knew that was into danganronpa. like i did not care if they usually read fanfiction or not i would sit there and go on infodump rants about this gay fanfiction i found on the gay fanfiction site and ik i confused them but like. that was how good it was to me. felt like it was a real book. and not only that i honest to god felt like i was reading about me.

like the way you wrote taka meant and continues to mean so much to me to this fucking day because i rarely ever see characters that are like me, at least in an honest to god way. and i was already connected to taka and loved him but i think you made him feel like an extension of me in a way and it just like. idk. it spoke to me man. ik i sound dramatic but it did.

like an autistic queer kid with a strict parent being thrown into so many situations where you just automatically assume everyone else is watching you, judging you, based on past trauma and experiences and just. at the same time so emotional and passionate and just genuine for lack of a better term. and the panic attacks that were written i actually almost had some during reading it because i felt it. that felt like me honest to god (not a bad thing btw!!! i am ok!! but that's a compliment because that's how accurate it was!!)

and during a time where i was dating people who just. idk its hard to explain. i knew they cared about me but there were so many times where there were disconnects. sexuality and gender (gender's not really a part of the story ik but yk what i mean) was a big one. and i felt how he would feel when mondo wasn't exactly the best when it came to his behaviors and expressions of love.

and now i'm with someone who is like. mondo at all his best moments. and even when he matches mondo's lower ones it feels like, there's more times where we can do what they did in the fic and work through it. be there for each other because even if we're both fucked up yk we can like. work through it. and that's so cool honestly?? its not transactional, it means something. i've felt both sides and it's so. crazy to me. it's just wild.

and while i didn't read a lot of it (mental health was NOT in a space where i could i'm gonna be so real) the other installment, the one where mondo comes over to taka's house and they gotta hide and stuff? i've felt that. god i've felt that. my current boyfriend (also a trans man) and i have had so many times where we've had to act as "friends" and hide our romantic gestures and being so deathly afraid of getting caught yk?

idk this fic made me feel seen, and i wonder if there's like... anyone else that feels that way. idk i feel like their definitely is. and i just kinda wanna like. thank you for writing something that just. made me feel heard in a time when i really really needed it. even if we didn't know each other it felt so wild to have a stranger sit there and give me and indirect hug and let me know that i am not the only guy struggling out there with this stuff. it's changed the way i view myself and how i view the world and it's so cool to me that even fanfiction of all things can do that. that's nuts man. you did that and i really wanna emphasize that you should be proud of that. that's so cool. you're writing is so fucking cool man.

and also another thing i. love. that you also wrote about sex being a form of like. expressing love for some people. i am demisexual so like. seeing a character that seemed to also exhibit that and really only feel and have that strong attraction to someone they love romantically and have a connection with, and do it to let the other person know they love them. it's like. that's cool. that's so cool. i'm shaking you that's so cool /pos

and while i'm not fixated on dr right now (as you can. probably tell. (btw obligatory "watch lego monkie kid but also you do not have to i just wanna let you know its cool" plug because of Tha Autism(tm)), and while my comic i was going to make is on a very long hiatus bc adhd is beating the shit out of me, i really want you to know how much i appreciate this fic and how much it just. lives in my brain. how much it makes me emotional to this day because it spoke to me; some random dude who was just getting out of high school who fucking needed that really really bad. and also i want you to know how excited i was when we become mutuals and i'm really really lucky to have someone so cool as my mutual, and you've become even cooler in my brain now that we're kinda yk. in a vaguely similar circle.

anyways i appreciate you so much!!!! and even if we're in different fandoms and stuff, and even if tpwp is also not being continued/on a hiatus i still appreciate what you did with it, and what you do now. don't understand all the fandoms you post but i got that respect for it. i'm in the corner with pom poms cheering u on.

so um. yeah! that was long. but i'm hyped up on caffeine and neurodivergent so ujhm. yea. hopefully this made sense lmao

~ your very much not normal mutual tyler 👍

Okay, sorry for the late response, I saw this when I got up this morning and needed the day to figure how to respond because this was. So much (in a good way I promise!!!!)

So, first of all, THANK YOU FOR THIS!! It's easy as a fic writer to feel discouraged with your writing, or to feel like you're not as "good" as other people, and it's things like this that remind me that whether or not I'm a "good writer," what I write does matter to people. And that's just... really special to me, so thank you for writing this all. It means so much to me.

I'm glad you like the dramatic pauses and the way I write, though! When I was younger, I always tried to limit doing that sort of thing, since I knew it wasn't considered "good" or "proper" writing. But with TPWP I just... decided to let myself write how I wanted to write and not think too much about it. I wrote TPWP kind of how I think, because I wanted it to feel like it was Taka's thoughts and emotions, even if it wasn't in first person. And I'm really glad that came across!

I've always been really big into psychology and introspection, which is one of the main reasons I write about things like that a lot. I like to get into characters heads and try to figure them out. See what they'd be like if this thing happened, or if this thing hadn't happened, etc. I write about struggles, because I struggled as a kid, but in more quiet ways. I mean, all things considered I had a good life. supportive, loving parents and older brother, good grades, people generally liked me and I never got in trouble. But I was so determined to do well that I psyched myself out. I was terrified of disappointing people and losing what I had, and I crumbled in middle and high school. Luckily I had good parents so I was able to stumble through it, but it always left me feeling isolated, since I could never articulate why I felt so off inside. It wasn't until I took an "abnormal psych" class in college that I even realized I had intense anxiety.

All of this to say that I'm glad I was able to resonate with you through my writing. I could never find the words to articulate myself when I was younger, so I took to writing to try and connect with people, to get a message across. Most of my stories have some form of "moral" or "lesson" that I'm trying to get across, lessons that I had to learn myself growing up. TPWP's was that perfection is impossible and that you have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Honestly, I put the most of myself into Taka, since while I never had a distant parental figure who wanted me to be absolutely perfect, I was kinda that figure to myself. I wanted so badly to be "perfect" and "the favorite" and when I wasn't, I freaked out. I shut down and couldn't even explain to my parents why. So, with TPWP, I wanted to let other people know that it's okay to just... be you.

I don't know if any of this is making any sense, sorry. I had a long day at work and my head is a bit jumbled. Mostly just... thanks for writing this. Things have been tough lately between school and work, and it's nice to be reminded that my stories do matter to people. I never wanted to be a professional writer, but I did always want to write something that made someone, somewhere, feel something. Hopefully something good, something cathartic.

Oh, and as for the sex thing... that was honestly unintended, ha. But I'm Ace, so to me, that's what sex is. Or what it should be. A way to connect emotionally with your partner above all else. Honestly, the only reason I wrote sex into TPWP was to explore the way it would interact with their friendship, not to be like... sexual, ha. Glad you liked how I wrote it!

Anyway, thanks again for writing this!! And I'm glad we're mutuals too! Yeah, I am part of some interesting fandoms on my main blog, but I'm glad it's not too off-putting, ha. I'll try and check out that show some day, though! I don't have a lot of emotional energy to get into a new show at the moment (as I'm sure some people can understand, since starting a new fandom can be a lot at times), but maybe once (IF) things calm down for me I'll take a look! I have seen a lot of posts about the monkie kid show, not just from you, so it's something I might check out one of these days. I'm mostly waiting for Our Flag Means Death season 2 to air tomorrow so I can get washed away into Pirate Town for the next month or so, while the episodes release. 😅😅😅

#Ask answers #Personal post #Sorry for rambling. #I hope there aren't any typos but I'm too tired to read through it so hope it makes sense!

[hmm-dont-know-really]

This blog is 18+, minors please block & dni

Rules:

No minors, no exceptions.

This is a nsfw blog and I'm bad at tagging, if you need your dash to be totally sfw or have triggers that need to be tagged absolutely every time, just don't follow. Interacting is still fine.

I block people based on their behavior, not their identifiers.

Asks and dms are open. Dms slightly preferred because I usually have clairifying questions. Its fine to just message me, I don't care if we've been interacting or not.

Info:

It's complicaited but I'm a cis bi woman for statistical purposes.

I'm almost 30, not looking for anything more than being friends if you're a lot younger than me.

I've got quite a bit of experience with kink & femdom (F/m), and I'm always happy to answer educational questions about those things, but I'm really here to talk to other queer people, not cis men.

I don't hate men tho, and this is not a "men dni" blog, if that bothers you feel free to block me.

Related to that, to me the point of femdom is systematic gender fuckery and destruction of the binary - in the context of my cis "het" relationships at least, might be down for selectively reinforcing the binary in gender affirming ways. If the kink we're doing doesn't ritually eviscerate at least one oppressive social structure, I don't want it.

If you want me to be talking about you when I talk about boys, then yes I'm talking about you; "boy" is a vibe to me, its not about gender or parts.

I'm autistic and I don't understand what a lot of wlw words mean, not enough to really use them. Anyone who wants to help me understand is welcome to my dms and a reward of their choice, everyone else can shut up and think about the pervasive ableism in the queer community before judging.

Generally when it comes to sex I'm into sub guys, sad wet pathetic little men, pretty boys (all boys are pretty), masc nonbinary and genderfucky people, and sometimes women if there's a power dynamic (usually a slightly toxic one), if they could defeat me, or if we're performing intricate rituals. Also I fall for other autistic girls hard and easily in a QPR way.

Look, I am a dom/top type person, but I am also shy as fuck, and I don't like persuing people when its not super clear they're into it. If you want me to give you horny attention, you gotta give some kind of consent. Posts addressed to the void or doms in general don't count.

I don't think I'm all that edgy in the grand scheme of things, but I've been around long enough to know that the distinction between "gentle" and "hard" kinks is purity culture crap. If you're still on that shit you're not gonna have a good time here.

A few things I can promise won't be here: excessive gore, (what I consider to be) body horror, needles, death, race play, disability fetishism, scat and vomit, and most "family" stuff (I allow the occasional title if its not the main focus of the post).

Things that probably will be here: femdom, queer and "straight" seeming stuff mixed together, fat positivity, hornyposting, some serious/political stuff, discussions about kink, horny fanfic, pretty kink toys and gear, autism posting, memes, etc.

[theoldaeroplane]

meandering thoughts (reflective style)

with my life seeming to settle a little bit (knock on wood) my brain returns to its favorite dilemma: relationships! how confusing they are for me! how i get crushes all the time on everyone and am too scared of alienating people important to me to do anything about them! operation "just be cool and hot and hope people are attracted to you" does not seem to be working, despite the fact i am both cooler and hotter than ever. i have always given off an unconscious air of "don't interact with me" that I think makes this difficult for people. (probably because I largely don't want most people to interact with me, and because I'm autistic and can't figure out social cues, and because even casual touch with people outside of a very small bubble activates like seventeen goblins in my brain!)

i talked to my therapist about these feelings last week and we're probably going to focus on them moving forward. this was really the year where i realized that the depths of the damage done to me growing up were much deeper than I thought. it's difficult to acknowledge that! it's hard to really look in the eye how much work I still have to do even now.

I've been reading about relationship anarchy and finding it appealing. the trouble of course comes in the practice. my therapist, who's trans and poly and is someone I trust to have good takes on these things, said something like ... "you can just ask the people you want to be closer to if they're interested in exploring a possible deeper intimacy." im both fascinated and terrified by this. sure i can just ask. what if i get told no? ive been told no so many times. it does a number on your self confidence! what if it makes this person who is important to me uncomfortable? what if it pushes them away from me? it's happened before! i can't risk losing what I have!

i suspect the fact my support network is almost entirely friends makes this much more frightening; without the kind of anchor relationship most people i know have in the form of immediate family, expressing interest in changing the relationships i do have kind of feels like fucking around in my operating system's files without a backup. it's sort of funny to be okay with the mortifying ordeal of being known, but being too afraid to even get to it.

relationship anarchy says, do away with preconceived notions of what a relationship "should" look like. kick out the fences and define new borders. fuck your friends and live domestically with your platonic life partner, if you want. this fascinates me. it's something I've been writing into many of my characters' relationships for some time now, without having a name for it. do i want a traditional partner? part of me thinks I do, but maybe that's just a lifetime of social conditioning. what would be the most fulfilling for me? i don't know. it seems like something you can probably only figure out with experience, and right now that's my problem.

i was raised by people who wanted me to "court" instead of date. (My therapist made a terrible face and said oh I hate that for you when I told him this.) i was raised by people who definitely would have tried to get me to read "i kissed dating goodbye" if i had done anything other than have a crush on a gay boy all through high school. I still talk to that guy all the time, crush free even, and he's in a great relationship with another man now. their relationship is strictly romantic; the partner fulfills his sexual needs with other people. i thought that was so cool when I first heard about it. I think it was the first time someone I knew personally demonstrated a functioning, nontraditional relationship. Others have followed. I'm so happy for them! I watch, fascinated, from behind the iron wall I've built for myself while "Hello My Old Heart" plays in the background.

it's Christmas as I write this, and I've got no plans. a few people have checked in on me, because I'm always alone at this time of year. (honestly, the checking in kind of makes it worse. "hey I'm celebrating with my loved ones and I know you aren't, how are you?") that's another complicated topic, but it's been a little easier this year. it's probably to do with both time and the fact that my adhd is being managed for the first time ever; it's common to have increased emotional regularity when that happens. I'm lonely, but I'm used to it, and things will go back to normal soon. It would be nice to have someone to spend it with. i don't know if it's in the cards for me. maybe next year.

I worry sometimes that I sabotage myself. Oh, I'm into this person, but they're in a relationship, or they're straight, or they're ace, or they live far away, or I work with them (as if any of those things are a hard limiter in all cases). I can find any excuse not to express my interest in someone. It's something I'm working with my therapist on.

As morose as this post is, I'm okay. today I'll mess around with my server project and go feed my friend's pets while he's away. I'll spend a lot of time thinking about this and distill my feelings down into something I can overlay onto a character; i see myself most clearly when I do it through a mask. I've got things to cook and a fridge to clean and an indoor bike to ride. There are people who care about me and it's important I try to remember that.

uh, happy holidays! i promise i am okay enough. please don't make me think about it any deeper than that. I really truly hope you have a good one.

#corgijournals!

[mechacringekitty]

Hey hey! Finally remaking my pinned! Under the cut because it did get a bit long. I reccomend reading the whole thing if you can.

I'm Doll/whatever variation of my blog name you want to call me. You'll probably see me called a lot of names, I swap quite often and love nicknames.

It/its or any neopronouns, I'm alright with most gendered terms but I am agender. Please do not refer to me as nonbinary, I dislike the term when applied to myself. Pronouns.page here. I might talk in third person, use number = letter typing quirks, or put [brackets] around my speech sometimes.

I'm pansexual, fictoromantic, and too tired to figure out the rest. I RB selfship content and very happily support it. I might block you if we have the same F/O[s]- I dont like to share. That being said, proship/comship not welcome.

Diagnosed autistic, this blog is a place for me to be incredibly autistic about my interests and do assorted other things.

Nonhuman! Yep, I'm one of 'em. Don't feel like listing exactly what I am, mostly because I half have no idea myself, but you'll figure it out if you follow me long enough.

Interests and fandoms include Hollow Knight, Wings of Fire, ULTRAKILL, Rain World, computers/robots/tech in general, and dragons are my special interest. Asks are always open to chat about them! Or other things, if you know me. I love to talk. About my ocs especially. [Here is my toyhouse if you would like to have a look.] My oc blog is @webspinning !!

I fucking love music, almost all kinds, though I have a particular love for rock. I won't be able to say anything coherent or thoughtful but you can always talk to me about music. Or ask for song requests...or give me some...

We're working on sorting out issues and my headmate likely won't post here for a long while, if ever, but I am possibly part of an endogenic system- it's very complicated and I'm unsure of what's going on myself. I don't tolerate antis.

I do art and play video games and screech over other people's characters and so many other things. Commissions closed, requests extremely selectively open, art trades semi-open. My blog is a place for me and me only, it's disorganised but I can find my way around. If you're offended by things here, ah, leave! Goodbye! Tags - hound.txt - talking tag. i ramble hound.art - original art that i post...sometimes hound.games - me playing games! usually short little things, sometimes screenshots :) beware spoilers save for later - stuff for me. ignore that various oc tags that are "oc;[name]" - also for me. ignore that too, unless you're a moot and find it funny singing to the stars - selfship tag :) hopefully ill remember to actually use it

#hound.txt #intro post #stuff 'n things...finally doin' this...

[benevadeca]

Anyway unoriginal thoughts abt nope but like. The theme of gaze and how it's almost compulsive. Our eyes are drawn to movement, lights and color and spectacle. And at the same time we're sensitive to being seen, both positively and negatively:

OJ's aversion to eye contact except when it's with his sister- "I see you" being a positive affirmation and the animals all taking eye contact to equal hostility.

angel watching them over the cams ("that's illegal") but letting them know about it because he was genuinely concerned about them when the camera went out, the motorcycle guy being completely covered up with his reflective helmet but filming emerald without her consent ("what, you don't wanna be on tv?")

And ofc the themes of I guess, obsession. Antler and his willingness to sacrifice himself (and the people around him and all they sacrificed for the footage they got) for the sake of some ideal of "art" which really plays into I think the aura and mystique it's given. Him and Jupe both warped permanently by their experiences and because of that chasing after unattainable ideals based on their own self obsessed ideas on how the world works and both of them putting the people around them in harms way because of it.

So all that to say like. Not just gaze but the reciprocation of it is a theme? Not just the reciprocation itself but the hope for it.

Because juke while doing all that still had his moments. Feeling guilty over their horses (letting them take the statue and inviting them which. I mean that 2nd thing is so poorly thot out lol but i dont think it was done w any intentional malice. Guy with issues), inviting his old cohost to the show, making a special mention to his family for making it all possible for him to be there. For their support and the recognition that without them he wouldn't be there. He had more tangible connections compared w Antler who was a much more minor character.

But his flaw as a character was instead of reciprocating meaningfully, the way OJ and Em do as family or OJ with his horses or even angel with his surprising willingness to be vulnerable and genuine (even if it's unasked for like talking abt his ex lol, but also with opening his home to them). He goes and chases this idea of being Chosen by something Greater. He believes he was saved because Gordy recognized him, that basic instinct to believe that even wild animals and forces of nature and uncontrollable horrible moments have some kind of meaning. That they at their core are merciful, are kind, are capable of understanding and recognition. Of Seeing you the way you see (project) and feel you understand (anthropomorphize) them.

So OJ who for all he loves his animals, remains grounded in the understanding that they are just that. And he doesn't ask for them to reciprocate the way Juke tries to, who tries to encroach on their boundaries and force them to make eye contact (which also. oj who understands bc bc he also appreciates when people respect and do the same to him. Autistic cowboy king).

Emerald who chases after aliens initially but is the one who's first deterred bc she recognizes that shit is fucked! And she is not going to fuck around with something so obviously out of her league. For all that she is our moving the plot forward action queen she is also kinda solidly the voice of reason lol.

And ofc jean jacket who represents kinda The Gaze itself. It is wild it is an animal and violent and all are prey in its eyes. It is invisible and pervasive and will never, ever look back at you in a meaningful way. It is consumptive and indifferent and looming and claustrophobic and it does not stop even after the act itself. It is a force of nature and it has been with us since the dawn of time it is what makes you holy and repulsive and into a thing unrecognizable to even yourself

#it is a weather balloon that will explode in the sky maybe. and most of all it is a horse specifically. #mine #txt #lb #nope 2022 #anyway idk if anyones mentioned another thing it looks like but atmospheric cryptids are like a whole genre #like jellyfish and sky serpents are a whole Thing and a lot of the depictions of them are very light streaks on cameras lookin lol #on a cryptid wiki making sure i got the names right and. #''Those who report being physically touched by atmospheric beasts often say they felt as if they were being licked by an enormously soft #tongue.'' 💀

[pions]

This turned into more of a "tips I've learned that I'm sharing" list, because a lot of what makes me happy about myself is constantly learning new things and applying them to my life. So here are some positive things about me with commentary. Requested by @probablypartalien

I've been stressing over who to tag because I don't want to make anyone feel weird, but if you're a follower of mine and you want to do this when please do, and tag me in it. :)

Anyway, here's the content --------------

1. I'm super happy about how much my communication skills have grown in the last few years. I was a pretty stunted kid as far as "talking normally to others" went, and I had a lot of anxiety about saying weird things that would get me teased, so I often wouldn't know what to say at all. I'm still pretty awkward but I don't seem as anxious about it anymore so I think it helps. one-on-one's have been a lot better ever since building my arsenal of "script" phrases too. I can make appointments, and order food without having to worry so much because i better know what to expect now. So that's cool

2. I saw an disordered eating post today and that reminds me that I'm way better about my eating habits than I used to be. For almost all of my childhood I was surrounded by adults who did name brand diets, and encouraged weird eating to trick the body into losing weight. At no point was there a balanced diet and exercise plan, and when I wanted to lose weight as a kid my mom told me to stop eating carbs. (I was 13! And I did and got super small but it's also caused me many body battles and fluctuations and dizzy spells and overall it's bad kids don't diet like that)

But anyway, ever since becoming an adult I've had a lot of success with not starving myself, and applying other good tips for keeping my body machine running smoothly. There's still a lot to unpack, but it's definitely better :) many thanks to that nutritionist I saw a few times lol. I'll share a few of the takeaways

- only put on your plate what you're going to eat

- put enough on your plate, don't go back for seconds. feel free to add a cookie or snack or anything you want to eat that makes you happy, just make sure to only take what you can eat

- Your diet shouldn't feel restricting or make you feel like you're missing out! It's all about moderation of food intake

- Don't eat in front of distractions. Find a table and make it an event of its own. That way you'll better focus on the way your body feels when you get full. You don't have to eat once you're full, but it takes about 10 minutes before you can even tell that you are

- your body will adjust itself based on food intake, and it knows how to best regulate itself so don't worry if your food plan doesn't make you look like someone else on the same plan, because your body is always doing what's best for itself, and trust that if your diet is healthy that your body is doing its best too, even if your not seeing "results"

3.) learning to throw away my pedestal for the raw intelligence mentality was one of the best things I've ever done. Probably most of us here can relate to being one of the smart kids, and I specifically was one of those kids singled out at an early age and placed in a 'gifted program' (and jeez did that do nothing for me but isolate me socially, and set an impossibly high standard was what was clearly my "God-Given genius") I've seen the same pattern from every single gifted kid I know. They have a hard time working for things because if they're not already good at it then they must've been faking this 'gift' the whole time

Honestly I'm here for saying FUCK intelligence/genius/IQ culture altogether. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that just because you're bad at something, and ESPECIALLY if you're slow to pick things up, doesn't have any say on your worth as an academic. The human brain is so so powerful, and it's better and faster when it's trained to know how to do the thing! Even problem solving is a SKILL! All skills take practice, even if it's quick mental math, even if it's pattern recognition, even if it's reading-comprehension. We need to stop writing ourselves off as 'less than' just because someone is already better at it, or they picked up on it easier. We're all on different paths and levels and it's okay to know just to do you on your own time. You're capable, and I know I am.

Definitely happy that I've taken that one to heart. It helps all the time

4) Speaking of cultivating skills, I have a few I'm pretty damn proud of.

One: I'm really really good at problem solving. I spend so much of my waking time thinking about problems, and I'm told by a lot of my friends that I come up with efficient and creative solutions, and I really value that.

Two: You bet your ass I'm the best researcher around. I know so so many things specific to my interests. If you ever want to know or need help with computer programming, astronomy, or physics I'm pretty much your guy. I love to know things deeply so that I can re-explain them in a simple way. It's one of my favorite things to do, chewing up impossibly large topics

Three: this is a good one: I'm way better at asking questions now. Might sound weird, but I used to be really bad at asking questions because I had a hard time understanding why they didn't immediately have my answer. I considering myself a dummy level of meticulous, so if I'm asking a question you best bet that I've crafted it to sound like it makes the most sense in my head, but what would you know? Other people aren't me, and so I would repeat the same wording over and over and they would drive me crazy with the wrong responses. A good step is to let the person answering the question know what you already have in mind. It keeps them from repeating concepts your already have, and instead of them guessing whats wrong, they can start nit-picking or confirming your thoughts. It was so hard for me to understand that others are not in my head when I'm asking these things, but keep in mind that they're often on another planet and it requires some grounding before you can make progress. Saves so much time and frustration if the questioning process is dynamic

5. I'm the autistic nb your parents warned you about, and I think that's pretty sexy of me. I shan't explain

#tag game #probablypartalien #nobody has interacted with this post yet and now I'm embarrassed