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current-interest-writings · 3 years

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Hello! Ive veen reading your writings and i love your work! May i please request a trans!reader dating Jason Todd but only realizing theyre trans (ftm) somewhere during the relationship and then breaking up with him bc theyre scared Jason wont like them anymore. Eventually when reader doesnt want to give an explanation they crack and tell him. Jason being Jason just comforts reader and tells them its okay he loves them anyways. Pls i am so sorry if this is too long and specific i was definitely in an angst with comfort mood while typing this. Of course it is completely your choice to write this! Thank you for reading and I hope you have an amazing and a wonderful day! :)

Jason Todd X Trans!Reader

!Warnings!- if you aren't comfortable reading fics about a trans read, then keep scrolling! other than that maybe some angst and comfort.

I hope I did this request some justice, and I hope readers enjoy it.

Dating Jason has been one of the best times in your life, it was almost the perfect relationship for you guys.

Dates were fun and well thought out

He had trust in you, which for him is rare

You guys had met through his older brother Dick, you were being targeted by someone for god knows what. But you needed protection, and Jason has many places to lay low. and from there the relationship formed.

after a few years of dating, you noticed that you weren't being honest with yourself. The outside appearance did not match the inside, to be honest, it scared you a little bit. And in this panic, you had decided it would be better to leave Jason, and maybe navigate what you were feeling alone.

Breaking up with Jason was hard,

"Jason, I know this is coming from out of left field but I think it's best that we break up."

"Why? was it something I did? is this because I'm the red hood?"

"No Jason, it really has nothing to do with you, this is because of me. you've done nothing wrong"

"Can I know what you think you've done? I need a clear answer"

"I don't have a clear answer, I don't really understand what's going on with me yet either."

"so no explanation?"

"I'm sorry"

it took a lot for you to walk out of the door, and drive yourself back home, you stared in the mirror a lot, and then looked away. it wasn't easy, the break up with one of the sweetest men you've ever known, and to see that the outside is not what you feel it should be.

You used an ace bandage to wrap over your sports bra, as a makeshift chest binder, You had know you were trans right now, but that didn't make your feelings any better, only slightly better.

But a week after the breakup Jason had enough, he needed to know what is going on. He drove to your place to see you, he knocked on the door instead of using the key he still had, and when you came to the door Jason had a spike of fear in him, you looked like you've been kinda upset. But you let him in.

"Hey"

"Hi Jay, What are you doing here?"

"I, I just need an answer as to what is exactly happened. we were happy or so I thought and then suddenly you end it. I just need to know why''

"Jason, I'm"

"I want an answer and not just some runaround."

''Jay I'm transgender"

he looked at you and then let out a laugh

"that's why you broke up with me?"

"I was scared Jay, That's why I did what I did. I was scared about what you would think about me, and I was just scared about what it means for my life. it's not a small change. I thought it was better to go about this on my own."

Jason just pulled you into his arms and cradled you pressing your head to his chest

"I love you, but sometimes you're stupid. I love you, and you being trans isn't going to stop me from loving you. You won't be going through this alone, I love you. And I'm not going to leave you alone, besides who else is going to make inappropriate jokes."

you let out a small chuckle, he of course will make terrible jokes at the worst timing.

"I know Jay, and I'm sorry for just breaking up with you."

"No it's okay, you were scared and I don't blame you. I wish you would've just talked to me first but I totally get it. I can't judge you, I came back from the dead and decided I wanted Bruce dead instead of being rational. Fear can make us do strange things"

and he did get it, he was by your side for everything

If you want to cut your hair? he's right there cheering you on

buying new clothes? he's there to provide his opinion and cheer you on

thinking about making surgical changes or not? he's right by your side, he's supportive no matter what you choose.

he's right by your side for all of your changes.

if/when you're ready to change your name? he's there making jokes about you choosing the name Jason.

"common it's an awesome name, and have you met me!"

"I'm not picking Jason as a name, that would be kinda awkward in bed"

"Alright, fair point that would be weird"

his family is ready to fight anyone who wants to purposely misgender you or deadname you.

He's by your side no matter what.

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd x reader #jasontodd #Trans!Reader #FTM!Reader #batfam x reader #dc x reader #Current interest writings #currentintrestwritings

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inthewordsofahalfgoddes · 7 years

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Free Writing

I feel sick. On friday i came home dizzy feeling like I was dead walking and passed out sleeping for most of the night into the day. I woke up sunday feeling a lot better but as i tried to eat my body was not having it. Even now I can’t stomach too much but apples and even then that is pushing it. i feel like at any second i will puke but It’s a faint sensation. I had two dreams that had me startled and put a slight cloud on my day until i forced the thoughts away. The first was strange and happened about 2 days ago. i was in an apartment listening to a friend of mine talk about his life. I was trying my best to fight trying to have sex with him and failing. even going so far as to entering the bathroom with him. ugh. i was pretty upset at myself in my dream cause I watched myself do it but in my head I was like ‘why are you doing this. don’t do it’. so anyway I have a pair of headphones on connected to like a walkkie talkie and I hear my ex’s voice on the other end. he’s talking about old money business and i click the talk end and ask him to repeat it. He is shocked and he says ‘your voice is too much right now’ and I apologize and ask him to repeat it. he starts to cry and i can hear the emotion and I look up feeling his pain. It was strange because I didn’t really care too much about the situation. I feel like I already moved on from him a long time ago and I didn’t regret my decision at all but haring the pain and emotion in his voice was too much. the dream ends and its a shallow dream so i know im near to akinng up. I carried that with me for the majority of the morning and it bothered me because i feel like i am being punnihsed for how the relationship went. I dragged it on for longer then it needed to be. wayyy longer and I still look back now and regret it but I’m learning to move past it and not dwell too much on it. I eventually was brave enough to face being alone and potentially being unloved so there is that. The other dream happened today. jesus had a weir dtanget and left a silly conversation we were having. i think he really just wanted to step away from me and i was actually pretty okay with it. I feel when we talk too much it puts a strain on our friendship. i wanna-say relationship but...I don’t like that. Inn my head im much more happy seeing it as a friendship because that means its safe. i almost don’t give myself any reason to be jealous about others and i can give him my love in friendship and that is much more better for me. but some things he said got to me. He was talking about how dull and boring my life would be without him and at first i just joked about it but now I’m startting to see his point. Would i have been exposed to music without him? not as intense bth.My obsession with music and desire to persue it in some shape or form was inspiredby him and who he pointed out to me. I covet his songs so much. They are like staples for me and i dunno im actually listening to one of his songs now (let ‘em know by bryson tiller). So now that he has done his typical thing pretending to be upset and leaving “for couple of days” I have time to think. Its also venus retrograde whihc is like time to revisit and reassess how I see love, how i want to be loved and how I love others. also how my relationships look like and if there is a need for change. This is a simplistic view but its my understanding of it. So I know his venus is in Leo. which lmao is very fitting. hmm sometimes i wonder if I need to slow down with my thoughts of him. I am fascinated by him, pused by him, fired up by him, irritated, annoyed, and some feelings that i cant or wont name. So where does that leave me? Sometimes in my head i’ll call him allan and that makes me pause. Am i waiting for a saviour again? if i am i need to step back and realize that that only ends in pain and dissapointed hope. My last relationship i leanre da lot but it was under duress. it was painful and like forced me out of my caccoon under his hand and i felt so constrained as i tried to heal. it was too much for me and he never did understand me. Now that i’m just feeling jesus out I now see i see him as a saviour and i’m torn bewteen seeing him as one and being okay with it. is it so bad to have friends as liferafts? but at the smame time i dont think he should be treated like one :/ idk its weird though things have been feeling so surreal to me. watching my hands type and literally giving form to my words is unsettling to me. I feel like something is happening to me and i’m scared that its something bad. i don’t rmember being so sick before. in 3 years i only ever experieneced slight sniffles and here i am full blown sick and shit. i’m worried for myself and my body.I ask for michael’s healing and proetction. I am in a strange place and I wonder what will become of all of this. I feel so out of place. maybe its the books i have been reading too. When i read i somtimes carry bits of it into my life. i wake up in this world slightly disjointed and off. I finished reading parable of the talents and that left me shook. i have oto write a book review for that but ive been avoiding it for some reason? anyway I’m a lil way halfway trough lilith’s brood and I find the book fascinating and also scary in a way. i’m not scraed perse about the alients. or maybe i am idk. I’m more scared of the future where women and children will be vulnerable. why is it that males resourt to being bullies again once oscieties are gone? why sare they the most dnagerous? i mean even now they still are and its wrapped up in laws, decorms etc but in a dystopian futuere? terrifying. I couldnt be like Olomina and dress like a man because I am too fullfigured and womenly to pass. i am worried for myself. I just want to be free....i dunno what is going on with me? I ffeel like im drifting in and out of reality and things feel dreamy. I had a thought about my empathy and pisces power and like...maybe all my empathy is for books? thats when i feel so misty and out of it after reading ike my mind really led me away. im happy im reading again at least. it unsettles me that i am becoming a women. I am entranced with myself seeing the curves, my skin and body seeing how beautiful it is but also seeing how dangerous it is to me and my life. How many times will people punish me for how i look? men mostly. and i dont mind suing what power i apparently have over them but its like i know it will be used aaginst me soon. i never feel wrong for knowing that my body is beautiful. I know it is and i know i am beautiful and a creature many may want to touch and have. I am growing into it and i feel like a flower that is maturing before peoples eyes and im afraid. i know fear is bad so let me say mor elike it unsetles me. but with chnage comes growth and i feel like because of my freeizing myself as i unthaw and turn into who i was supposed to be i am going to blossom very quick. its also weird too because as I say i want this this and this in my body over time i gain that. i was so e skinny and i wished to be thicker and now here i am getting thicker and i know if i atemore id be even thikcer and yet my stomach has not changedd and actually has remained smaller then it as before? i am also finally looking pretty. i felt like such an ugly child and now i wonder if its not that im being graced with it now but that i am seeing it in myself. i know i have eyes that can trap people. I actually look away to make them feel comfortable because if i stare too long at eople they either get caught up in my face (men especially) or they paue for a second.. idk. i feel like im changing t into something that ahs power that i am not comfortble handling;. or am i just being dramatic? the voice in my head is soft and quiet and that is the true me. I have to protect her because thhis world wants to hurt her and she is too good for it. that sounds weird.. But i know i have to keep this shell around me because peope see weakness and want to go for it/. when i gaine dback my sag and leo self i have used it like a shield against people and emotions. only a few know about my soter side/. jesus nampende and allan do. allan has used it and used it agains me to quiet myself, jesus looks down on it and i think nampende is the only one who sees it and sympathzes with it. alone i am soft and always ondering. when im with peoplei am dynamic lughing being wild and having fun. i know that that needs to be my face to protect me. these days i feel like i need to make a descion. I dont know when and what i need to decide on but i know something will happen soon in my life. something big. idk.maybe its the new moon in virgo? or maybe its just me. im usually okay with momnets of confusion but coupled with this sickness and weird feeling im worried. i had my period so im worired im pregnant but....idk.anywasy on a more shallower side im getting my hair done and im trying to get a new phone. i know its mostyly because i wanna just fuck show people i actually am cute asf? for some reason i cna never capture how beauiful i am in pictures. maybe its the dymanicness of my face. idk i mosty want jesus to se it i think he thinks im ugy af and im like not??? if he saw me in person i dont think he would be saying and talking to me the ay he does. but i cant help things and tb its better that way. if i eve rsee him it will be a good suprise for me when i smirk at him like boyyyy you don fucked up;. anywyas im being etty and yes my exercises ha and will be fueled with this drema in mind veen tho i know it may not actually happen nor go the way i want ti to go. ughh sometimes i forget that im 23 and dont need to have it ll figured out. like thast not un expuse but i always be putting so much pressure on myself to know so much and catch up because i froze so much of myself. i know my body ma=eant well with how it chose to protect me but sis, i suffer lol.I am trying my best to just do my best. I feel tested and tested constantly but i guess with trying to be a better person and working on yourself. oh wait. PLUTO. i remmeber asking pluto a month ago to reveal all my bad shit a lotttt over the course of a month and sicne its a slow moving planet its prob now just hitting me. yikes. well if i cna make it through this then i really will be rdy for anything. so much pressure and stimulation i know i can survive but damn i need a break and shit.well i have tomorrow off so im probgonna chill and dhit. i have a meeting with some witches and other femmes in about an hour so lmao idk man im just trying my best. I hoope the universe sees that im trying because awd jesus i am. I love myself through this no matter what. the feeling that im gonna die is creeping up again its so strange i hvent felt this oh...its probably just anxiety over this sickess. ugdwheteriutuieyte45465hthrethuwt im gonna stop lol this has been too long already (peep the change in tone thast my sag self shining through)

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