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#just in case yannow
aquaquadrant · 11 months
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What would patho think of overworld bdubs? (normal bdubs idk what to call it)
hmmm… patho would prob think bdubs is kinda off putting tbh. his voice/speech pattern and mannerisms are so much like dbubs, but his physical appearance is quite different (green, not possessed). patho would be skeptical of everything bdubs says until he realizes that bdubs really only lies when he’s doing a comedic bit. and if patho saw what a prolific builder bdubs is, he’d be quietly amazed, but also deeply sad that his own dbubs doesn’t have the same freedom to build whatever his heart desires.
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spitblaze · 9 months
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because i am always always ALWAYS anxious that someone is gonna interpret something i say in bad faith i made that anti-transmasculinity post bc there was a minute or two on tumblr and twitter where trans men were the Embarassing Cringe Queers Du Jour and people were like 'lol trans men dont even face any sort of discrimination outside of garden variety transphobia' which is patently fuckin untrue and im very tired of being called a 'pussy' and a 'whiner' because people do not take me seriously as a man unless its to claim im a predator or violent so. theres that
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transsexualjoanofarc · 7 months
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i want to give girl michael a girlfriend buuut she is also awful & kay & appolonia deserve better than her… but i dont wanna make up an oc…
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ghostcrows · 10 months
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I say I'm passionate about art but I don't even know anymore I think I just have to do it at least every once in a while or I'll shrivel up and die. but that doesn't translate directly into like a sense of direction or creativity or drive. I've never had like, some amazing story in my head I wanted to tell. I never had ocs that feel like real people who I know everything about. I feel like the pieces are there for me to be someone who works on amazing projects but the muscles have atrophied and they weren't that strong to begin with. It's really just compulsive to me and the only thing left I can call a hobby an interest a "talent"
But whatever part of me used to say I wanted to animate or have my own cartoon or work on a show like. Totally and completely died and it's sort of depressing. I have that little faith in myself to deliver I never even practiced like...idk I feel so separate from it now. If I was really passionate I would have tried way harder and I just didn't. I feel like I deluded myself into thinking someone with no imagination would just come up with an awesome story to tell some day. But I got nothing cause there's nothing in my brain that's good.
But also maybe none of this is even that true and I just have mega depression hardcore and she's making me say that . Well I'll keep you updated I guess
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itsnice2haveafriend · 11 months
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You can drown in a cup half empty just as well as you can in a cup half full.
(Pessimistic suspicions will not always protect you and optimism is not the same thing as naivety.)
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maximillien · 2 years
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What if reader also had a shitty life back on earth and was brought like Choi Han
And any ounce of comfort makes them want to cry from happiness because holy shit somebody cares about them. And it doesn't matter which love language it's expressed in, as long as reader knows that somebody actually took time out of their day to think of them and to do something for them would make them cry. And so reader is so happy somebody finally loves them because they're so isolated and lonely from their trust issues due to trauma that they explode all of their love and affection on the person that cares? That person being cale
And yannow, as much as Cale likes to say he's a trash ass, he's really not. He exercices the five love languages all the time. And he's caring.
So imagine these two messes meeting each other, Cale being Cale, idk when he'd fall in love, it'd be slow for sure, but he'd grow to care for reader a lot first and reader would be like 'omg. Somebody actually??? Cares??? I must give this man all my love!'. Cue physical contact, hugs, little pecks here and there, reader giving cale gifts that reminded them of him, reader being fully supportive of his slacker life dreams (he's never getting those honestly, with the shit he pulls), reader helping him through tough times, reader who knows and sees what others don't, the slight tense of a shoulder, the tiniest wrinkle of a frown. The words of affirmation and praise and love would tumble out of their lips, bringing cookies and desserts when they could, heck making them themselves, helping with paperwork and duties so that cale can relax.
And just cale being just like reader like '??? Holy shit??? Somebody??? Cares???' And quietly returning the favours, with head pats and a hand on the shoulder to let them know he's there, to reassure and ground them, praise to the hard work they go through to ease his own, the snacks he'd bring because he knows they like them, maybe he'd try to cook something from their world to comfort them, he'd see something in a boutique or on a market stand and immediately buy it without thinking, putting it on readers bed so it remains anonymous, spending some time-in which he could be resting- with them, in silence, just basking in each other's presence, or maybe even having some phatic talk.
And just, two people who've gone through so much shit, and have been disappointed over and over, that have the worst trust issues, slowly letting their walls down, falling in love quietly but hardly, and completely entrusting their lives to one another. Two people who can practically know what the other is thinking, and then discern a way to react to that thinking, wether it be a hand on the knee, finger stroking little circles to calm from a panic attack, a plate of fresh baked cookies brought in the room after one saw the others eye bags from the sleepless nights, filled with nightmares. Seeking each other out unconsciously, bodies lingering and limbs subconsciously leaning towards the other, eyes looking for their other half, unsatisfied and searching until they find them, finally relaxing. Words of comfort whispered in the dead of the night, as a hand lays on the small of one's back in a comforting motion. Two people who slowly heal each other through their actions and care for each other like nobody else could, care like they never have before.
And the others see this and are just so happy? Because their young master and the person he brought in, the two people who had some of the highest walls, the two loneliest people have found each other and found themselves in the process. Two people they guessed have gone through so much shit from the way they talked and acted, both far too mature for their age, both shouldering far too much. Maybe they'd even try to set them up in some cases. An outing to the market and oops! Raon and the kittens forgot their money at home and suspiciously don't want to steal cales? Well, at least reader and Cale can go through the market alone, fingers inching closer till they're touching, thinking nobody is looking. (The kids are looking. They're elated to find their father find somebody who loves him as much as he loves them). Maybe Beacrox would know when one would cook for the other, so he'd leave some ingredients out, some pre made and some fresh. (He just doesn't want them ruining his lover- his kitchen.). And maybe Alberu would invite them under the guise of 'Living the experience of the Royal Gardens. Only exclusive to the royal family of course!' And oh! What's that? He has paperwork? And he actually wants to do it? Darn then, guess he's got to go! (He secretly asked for binoculars to be made and was watching them the whole time). Just the whole family being in on it, and as sweetly disgusting as some of it is- like just shove your mouths together already- it's comforting and new, and it's a beautiful thing for them all to see.
That's the kinda love I want and I think it's fucking beautiful.
Where's my Cale?
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deus-ex-mona · 5 months
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The Sisters' Secret Seaside Trip: Chapter 3
thank you, midori, for your hard work
previous part (chapter 2)
next part (chapter 4)
(tw for dieting)
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A few days after Sena had commenced her diet—
Sena: (Hmm… I’ve slimmed down a little, but… I don’t feel so good these days…)
Director: Alright, let’s start shooting the next scene!
Sena: I look forward to working with you!
Sena: (But we’re shooting the climax of the drama, so I’ve got to give it my all!)
Sena: (Um… My first line was…)
Sena: (...Huh?)
Actress: Hey, Director! Narumi collapsed!
Director: Sena?! Are you okay?!
Manager: Sena!
Sena: (Everyone’s worried about me… I have to stand up as quickly as I can, but…)
Sena: (I-I can’t get up…)
Following Sena’s collapse, the filming for the drama was halted. As if on instinct, Sena gave Midori a call—
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Midori: Sena!
Sena: Ah… Midori.
Midori: …I’m glad you’re okay…
Midori: I was so worried when you suddenly told me that you’d “collapsed in the middle of filming”...
Sena: I’m so sorry… for calling you out at this time of day.
Midori: I’m fine with it, but you’ve got work tomorrow, don’tcha? You don’t look so good, so you should get some rest instead…
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Sena: No.
Midori: …Sena?
Sena: No, my work for tomorrow was rescheduled for another day.
Sena: I even caused today’s filming to get called off. I’m supposed to be a professional, and yet…!
Midori: Don’t say that…
Sena: I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve been dieting too much.
Sena: To think that I can’t even manage my diet, despite being a model…
Midori: …
Midori: …Yannow… I don’t really get what your job’s all about…
Midori: But I think everyone makes mistakes, no matter who they are.
Sena: …
Midori: What happened today has already passed. All that matters now is how you’re gonna make up for it later.
Midori: So… you don’t hafta blame yourself unnecessarily anymore. Just rest well for now.
Sena: Midori…
Midori: You’re giving it your all, Sena. I know it for a fact, cuz I said so.
Midori: I mean, you received that offer to model for the swimsuit special cuz of your hard work, right?
Sena: …Yeah…
Midori: So, wouldn’t you say that you’re fine just the way you are right now?
Midori: I, too, love you… exactly the way you are now, Sena.
Sena: …!
Midori: Well… You’re perfectly stylish as you are now, Sena, but that’s not all there is to you…
Midori: Like you’ve got that smile of yours that’s able to charm everyone, and your silky smooth hair, and you’re dependable yet sweet…
Midori: Wait, no, I’m the only one who should know that part ‘bout you, so let’s leave it at that.
Midori: In any case! You’ve got tons of charm points that other models simply do not have!
Midori: In other words, there’s no need for you to force yourself to diet!
Sena: …Hehe.
Midori: …What’re you laughing at?
Sena: Thanks, Midori. I really do feel recharged whenever I see you...
Midori: Ah? Yeah, I feel the same way too.
Sena: Alright! I’ll continue to give it my all tomorrow!
Midori: Geez, didn’t I tell you that there’s no need to push yourself so hard…?
Sena: I’m done with dieting! I’m fine just the way I am… right?
Midori: …!
Midori: Yeah, that’s the spirit.
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valedalestatue · 8 months
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Stole a shovel from the Redwood Point ranger station,,, yannow,,, just in case.
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random stuff but its crazy how much izaya projects onto other people in the show; like the speech to kida about how his decisions will bite him, or to those suicidal girls about how they only half-believe in nothing. every single thing izaya believes in, he only half-believes in. every single thing. i could go on but i wanna save it for the essay in case i do get picked, yannow? also izaya claims hes not suicidal but if a christian man kills himself and wholeheartedly believes he'll live on forever in heaven, it's still suicide. i'm just saying~!
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demoisverysexy · 2 years
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Sometimes I get the feel that a lot of people's ironic fake bigotry on social media is actually just. Bigotry. Like, that isn't always the case, right, but I get suspicious when it seems like you make too many jokes about wanting to wipe France off the map, for example. Like. Not saying you can never make jokes like that, but some people's delivery makes me raise my eyebrows a bit, yannow
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cicero-the-assassin · 2 years
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JIMMY!
"Jimmy!" Cicero repeats in confirmation. In truth, Cicero hadn't seen much of this guy in some time. But that's kinda how their relationship was yannow? More of a fond acquaintance.
He would've been disappointed to find out that the other had died or something.
"Cicero." He points to himself in case the other had forgotten his name just not his face. Not that he ever recalled Jimmy ever saying anything other than his own name most of the time.
"Long time no see Pal."
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deepfakefart · 1 year
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Hysterectomy log
I had my laparoscopically assisted vaginal hysterectomy yesterday and thought I'd share my experience in case it's helpful to anyone else.
I had my cervix, uterus, and one ovary removed. I decided to keep one in case I ever decide to go off of testosterone or it becomes unavailable to me. Starting 5 days before surgery, I was instructed to wash with a chlorhexidine gluconate body wash which stank like rubbing alcohol and was very drying and I hated it. I also had to take pyridium to stain my urine orange which I assume made it easier for my surgeon to see and avoid my bladder.
DAY OF SURGERY:
I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am and spent an hour and a half waiting and prepping - answering questions, getting an IV catheter placed, doing a pregnancy test, getting my gown on, etc etc. The waiting made me nervous but I was excited, too. They wheeled me back into the OR around 7am and spent some time getting me hooked up to monitors, setting up oxygen, all that good stuff. I thought I would be more nervous once I was on the table but I felt really at peace and happy about the whole thing. My surgery team was great and made sure I was as comfy as possible, and my surgeon was respectful of my pronouns. After they got me all situated, they then started up the IV sedation drugs which stung like hell but then, yannow, I was unconscious so it didn't matter much. The procedure took about 3 hours if I'm remembering correctly.
When I woke up there was a very nice lady who explained that I was waking up from surgery, that everything had gone well, and I'd be monitored for a bit before being taken back to recovery and reunited with my spouse. I was still pretty drug addled so I don't really remember actually getting to the recovery room. I *think* I was asked about my pain level (8), was given some drugs (I think intravenously), asked about it again a bit later (6-7), and then was given some oral oxycodone. This part is all really fuzzy and dreamlike and I'm not 100% sure of anything but being asked about my pain, if it was tolerable, and being given the oral meds.
After I was moved to recovery I was misgendered a lot. I corrected one of the nurses but the others still misgendered me, and the nurse I corrected misgendered me when she thought she was out of earshot. So that wasn't the best. Thankfully I was drugged enough that I didn't care much lol.
While I hung out in recovery, the nurses had me down apple juice and water in an attempt to get me to pee (one of the requirements before being discharged). The anesthesia ended up making me really nauseous and I threw up. I was given a Benadryl, threw up again about 30 minutes later, and then was given an intramuscular ondansetron injection (some time before that I had dislodged my IV catheter, whoopsie). The injection helped a lot. I was SO drowsy the whole time and my spouse kept shaking me awake and making me drink more juice lol.
After a while they did a bladder ultrasound (which HURT) to see if I had enough in there to attempt to urinate. I didn't, so I kept chugging juice. They did another ultrasound a while later, determined my bladder was full enough that I should attempt to urinate, and helped me hobble over to the bathroom to try to pee. Which I didn't do.
So we hobbled back over to my recovery station and the nurses consulted with my surgeon on whether to have me keep chugging liquid or hook me back up to fluids. It was decided that I could continue to drink my juice and water. Then, some time later (idk how long, all the drugs made time all wonky) they talked to my surgeon again and I was told that I could either stay at the hospital through the evening/night/until I peed, or I could go home and just come back if I was unable to urinate. I decided to go home and was discharged around 3pm.
Once I got home, I was able to dribble some urine but I didn't have a full stream and still felt like I had to go. My partner called the hospital to see if I needed to come back or not, and they were told that dribbling is good and that I should come back or go to urgent care if I didn't go again in the next couple hours. I went again a few times and my stream was a bit stronger each time but still not my normal urine stream, and I could tell I wasn't totally emptying my bladder.
After I got some food in me, I spent the rest of the evening napping off and on until I decided to go to bed around 8pm. I hadn't gotten my pain meds yet so all I had for pain control was ibuprofen, which made getting up in the night to pee pretty damn painful. I had myself kinda propped up on some pillows to try to sleep in a reclining position so it would be easier to get up, but it wasn't the most comfortable. I really just wanted to cuddle my partner but I knew I would hurt myself if I did that.
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arabellaflynn · 1 year
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Well, I survived Thanksgiving. The rat photos all went up on my Instagram, where I would recommend you follow if you want to see more small fuzzy animals. I don't really post photos of me too much, but I do occasionally show you all my handsome collection of vermin. The new cage set is a hit, including a new design of under-shelf toob that gives Les Fromages great joy and keeps them from tearing the shelf cover off, which they normally do. 
Mickie spent the rest of the weekend scaring the hell out of me. He didn't really want to come out for Ratsgibing dinner, hence why you did not get the usual sweet sweet Toon Bros mukbang video. The next day he was clearly in a lot of pain -- didn't want food, didn't want water, breathing hard, nose all red and crusty with porphyrin-snot. I couldn't find any wounds or any spots that made him jump, so I don't have any idea what he did. It might have been a soft tissue injury that didn't hurt unless he moved a certain way; Mickie is a magical combination of dim, arrogant, and inattentive that leads him to doze off on the edge of their shelf and then roll over in his sleep. Or, as he didn't want to groom me when I pet him like he normally does, he might have jammed an incisor or otherwise hurt something inside his mouth. 
In any case, I did the only thing you can do when that happens: Give him a load of painkillers and some valerian-laced frosting, so he could nap until it all kicked in. Even if I could figure out what he'd hurt, you can't really splint or bandage a rat. They just chew it off. Some people have had some success building them a tiny Cone of Shame post-surgery, but that's actually pretty difficult. They're not built like cats and dogs, with a neck significantly smaller than their head -- a rat can squash their entire body through any hole they can jam their skull through, so it's a tricky to get the thing tight enough to stay on without hurting the rat. Plus they have the cat thing going, where either you would have to be omnipresent and omnipotent or the rat would have to be heavily sedated to keep them from climbing things, and there's a good chance the cone would get caught.
Fortunately, a bolus of Tylenol and a good night's sleep did him a lot of good. I still have no idea what was wrong, but it's mostly not wrong now, which is pretty common for injuries. Rats heal up fast. He seems a little awkward when he climbs around, especially in the back end, but I can't tell if he's favoring a leg or if he's just a clumsy middle-aged little (big, squishy) fucker. He got woken up for ibuprofen/Tylenol q6h the first day, q8h-ish the second, and now he's getting ibuprofen morning and night for a bit just in case. It's not uncommon for big rats to develop weakness/stiffness/arthritis in their hind end when they get older; just like humans, the more weight you put on a joint over a long period of time, the more it wears down. This is about the age Tseng started needing NSAIDs bid, and he got another solid six months or so with excellent QoL, so assuming Mickie doesn't break his neck falling off some shit he'll be around for his second Ratmas.
Aside from that, I'm my usual level of disintegrating. A lot of what keeps me functioning is having a regular schedule. This time of year, a lot of classes and work/volunteer shifts get canceled, either for travel or because the people involved are getting ready for special annual events. The events all cost money, so I don't get to go unless I'm involved as tech or talent. I try to make sure I have one day completely off every week, but not too much more than that, because if I have too much time to sit around and contemplate my navel I start losing my mind. Things being closed mean there's a block of days at the end of the year when I have no outside workspaces, and that plus the weather mean I'm pretty much stuck in my apartment.
I love the rats, but they're not very good conversationalists, yannow?
I try to have plans set up, but being sad and adrift makes me tired, and being tired makes it harder to pretend I'm not sad and adrift. I do pick up some extra bits of work, but my regular work closes for the holidays, and things I do for the holidays don't pay out until afterwards, so money gets tighter than usual. It's a lot of wandering around, seeing nice things that I would love to have and having to ask myself, "Do I really need that to survive?" The answer is always no, and I know that, but it's really tedious to have that conversation with myself over and over again.
The thing that actually bothers me the most is gifts. I don't necessarily miss getting a lot of stuff. I don't need all that much, and if I do need something I eventually figure out how to buy it for myself. Having people hand me stuff that signifies they thought about me, at least a little, when I wasn't right there in front of them, I kind of miss. I don't care if it's a candy cane with pipe cleaner antlers and a pair of googly eyes stuck on it. That means they remembered I eat candy! The cost is not the point. But what I really miss is having the resources to give things to people. I am frighteningly good at putting together gift baskets that are appropriate to both the recipient and the occasion. I find it fun. It's a pleasing kind of puzzle-solving: Given everything I know about this person, and a budget to stick to, what collection of items would be most appreciated and look prettiest in a bag or basket? If I get it right, somebody's happy. None of them are expensive -- I don't think any one basket has ever topped $30 -- and I get most of the detail doo-dads at the Dollar Tree, but it's a lot of my entertainment over the holiday season, and I don't get to do it anymore, and that makes me extra sad.
[Gifts in general can be fraught for me. I always got big ticket items from my parents growing up. And frankly after I passed the age where my taste in toys was easily predicted from the contents of that year's Montgomery Ward catalog, the only reason I got anything I could use is because I wrote down the exact item I wanted, including model number and specifications, and handed it to my mother. After the invention of Amazon, she got emailed a link every year. I always picked a piece of consumer electronics between $100-200, and holding my mother down to that amount of money was an epic struggle that deserves an essay of its own. People paying enough attention to give me something I would actually want, without me having to point and ook at it first, is something I didn't get until I was old enough to handle my own gift exchanges with friends.]
Most of my holiday spirits get channeled into the rats. I can give them a used teabag for Christmas and they'll be delighted, which is good, because that's about my budget. Basically everything that makes them happy in life, and everything I need to decorate their cage, is available at the local Dollar Tree. Their holiday tchotchkes this year have a red buffalo check theme, which conveniently matches both a blanket I have and some fabric I have leftover from Ratmas past, so I'm running with it. I dug around in my sewing stash and got their holiday hammocks done over the weekend, plus a second stuffed tree, so I'm ahead of the game. 
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undertaletwo · 2 years
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mama freakin mia
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izukuwus · 4 years
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Hrnng there's a thing I wanna write for EA and I can't decide whether it would work better as a spinoff or as kind of a lighthearted relationship-building bridge between Events(TM)
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year
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Even Our Private Lives Are Great Too!: Chapter 3
divide and conquer
previous part (chapter 2)
next part (chapter 4)
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As Yujiro slurped his ramen as per IV’s recommendation, he found that his meal, sure enough, tasted better when he did so.
IV: …It’s good, isn’t it?
Yujiro: Yes, it sure is.
Yujiro forced a smile in response to IV’s pleasant grin.
Yujiro: (Somehow… he seems different from how he’s like during our encounters in the dressing rooms.)
Yujiro: (He’s a pretty ordinary guy… Though, has he always been this friendly…?)
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YUI: Ahh, that was so good~!
The four of them walked side by side as they exited the ramen restaurant.
YUI: RIO was actually the one who told me about that ramen place, yannow?
YUI: He and DAI ate there on their way back from the studio the other day. Or was it after our TV feature? Which was it again?
YUI: Either way, that’s pretty unfair, no?
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YUI: I’m the one who’s all about ramen, so why didn’t he invite me too?!
IV: That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
IV: He said that they stopped by for a meal after we all parted ways, no?
Yujiro: (I see… So FT4 share their favourite restaurants with each other… They really get along so well.)
YUI: Hmm… “That’s just how the cookie crumbles”, huh… Well, I got to eat there with you guys today, so I’m satisfied.
YUI: But more importantly, hey Aizo! You haven’t had enough yet, right?!
Aizo: Eh?! What’re you talking about?!
YUI: Spiciness!
YUI: That ramen was really good, but it wasn’t spicy enough, yannow~?!
Aizo: But wasn’t the ramen you just had spicy?!
Aizo: Wait, I mean, I’m already stuffed!
YUI: Does that mean that you’re actually afraid of being served foods of the same level of spice as me?
Aizo: Ugh… You have me all figured out… don’t you…
YUI: Awwright! I’ll be taking you with me! IV! Yujiro! You guys can’t handle spicy food, right?
IV: Yeah, I’ll pass.
IV: We’ll just split up for now. The two of us will get desserts instead.
IV: …So, how about it, Yujiro?
Yujiro: Yeah! It’s fine with me!
Yujiro: I prefer sweet things over spicy foods.
IV: It’s settled, then.
YUI: We’ll see you guys later then! I’ll be borrowing Aizo for a bit!
Aizo: W-wait up, YUI! What about what I want?!
Aizo: Do you not care about my wants or something?!
Aizo: I told you… I can’t handle… such spicy foods anymore~!
YUI grabbed ahold of the ever reluctant Aizo and headed off, partially dragging the latter along as they went.
Yujiro: …And they’re off.
IV: Yeah.
IV: I hope YUI doesn’t push Aizo too hard, though.
Yujiro: Nah… Being the way he is, Aizo would only be too happy to be spoiled like that, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Yujiro: I think he’d refuse to get dragged along if he really didn’t want to go.
IV: …You really understand his thoughts and feelings well, don’t you?
Yujiro: Eh?
IV: I’m talking about your partner.
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Yujiro: (...I understand Aizo’s thoughts and feelings…?)
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Yujiro: That’s not the case at all.
As Yujiro denied IV’s observation, a sudden realisation occurred to him.
Yujiro: (Perhaps this is my chance to ask IV deeper questions about himself… now that we’re alone with each other��?)
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