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1337wtfomgbbq · 2 years

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And because I like doing these Imma do a 'launt gremlins vs the parents' again. Cause I haven't done one of those for a hot minute.

~~~

Okay let's go.

Emerson grabs fishing bait and Jackie grabs fishing gear. (Good job to the parents on that one, working together)

Elio breaks Gilles nose over a basket of bread (??? Isn't René the one crazy for baked-- imma shut up now)

Jacky, Andrea and Jacques get into a fight and Jacques kills them both (woof, Jacques is taking no prisoners this time)

Carlos grabs fishing bait and Graham the gear, same as Riccardo and Jim (whats with all the fishing??)

Ayrton bashes René's head in.

(This is crazy. The gremlins seem to be imploding before we even get started... Ah whatever, there can only be one winner after all)

~~~

Gilles forces Bruno to kill either Patrick or Niki and Bruno decides to kill Niki (and as sad as that sounds, props to Bruno for actually killing who they were supposed to kill. Looking at you Ayrton🤦‍♂️)

Nigel defeats Jim in a fight but spares his life (why do I have the feeling this is going to come back and bite him in the ass??)

François overhears Carlos and Nelson talking in the distance (piquemann anybody💖)

James defeats Emerson in a fight but spares his life (and he better cause that's a team mate bro)

Didier and Jacques team up with Graham (🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ to all involved)

Elio gets medical suppplies from an unknown sponsor (okay, who of yall is sponsoring the blorbo king??)

~~~

Okay what now. Bruno, Jochen and Nelson are singing songs together; and Jim, James and Nigel are doing the same.

Carlos and Graham are also teaming up for the night, but that actually makes sense.

François just bashed Didier' head in (😳😳)

Patrick just got sponsored and got clean water (can I pretend that byby!jacques villneuve is sponsoring him... imma do it anyways)

Emerson attacks Gilles but Riccardo protects him and kills Emerson (now, that was actually a good one on the gremlins part)

~~~

There is a lot of just foraging for food.

Elio is still getting medical supplies from his sponsor, while Graham is getting explosives from his sponsor.

Carlos steals from François (which... imma be real my piquemann brain is going apeshit)

NIGEL. This time it was that dumbass who fell into a frozen lake and drowned (Elio, avenge your boo and kill that lake. For real)

Uuh, James also got explosives (should he though??)

Gilles, Patrick and Riccardo start fighting but Patrick runs away as Gilles kills Riccardo (Gilles is still out for blood)

~~~

Bruno just got lost in the dark (no byby no🥺)

James kills Graham slowly with a poisonous blow dart (wait, what did Graham do to you??)

Jochen got clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Nelson screams for help (although that is futile)

Now Gilles is begging Carlos to kill him?? But Carlos refuses?? (What the fuck is happening??)

Alain destroys Ayrton' supplies (cause prosenna bitchfight or something🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️)

Jim attempts to start a fire but is unsuccessful (🥺)

Jacques and Elio both get sponsored.

~~~

Carlos and Elio and Jim and Ayrton are teaming up. (The teams of gremlins and parents seem to be meaningless anyways)

Nelson, Jackie and James get into a fight and James kills them both (wow James, you are actually usefull for once.)

Jacques cannot handle it anymore and kills himself.

François killed Jochen. (Cause as I said, the teams are meaningless)

Alain gets fresh food from a sponsor.

~~~

Wow, okay. Bruno, François, Carlos, Alain and Gilles all ganged up on Ayrzon and killed him. FIVE people ganged up and killed him. (Seems like overkill or maybe precaution🤷‍♂️)

The rest of them sleep in shifts.

~~~

The feast:

Alain, Jim, François and Elio all say "fuck that shit" and don't go.

James, Carlos, Gilles and Patrick meanwhile track down and kill Bruno.

(I love how nobody even WENT TO the feast🤣 They either stayed away or used the time to kill Bruno🤦‍♂️)

~~~

Gilles sees smoke in the distance but decides to stay away (cause he smart)

Elio, Carlos, François and Alain raid Jim's camp while he is out hunting.

James stabs Patrick in the back with a trident (again, James I have to applaude you, you have been pretty usefull this time around. Well done🤗)

~~~~

Carlos and Elio huddle for warmth.

François questions his sanity, while the rest sleep in shifts.

~~~

The next day is pretty uneventfull, appart from James slicing Alain with a sword. But idk if that killed him. Let's see.

~~~

Okay what the heck. The capitol is apparently pissed off that nobody is dying so they rapidly contract the arenas borders.

Carlos TRIPS ON A FUCKING TREE ROOT and that is why he dies.

Jim and Gilles THOSE MORONS think they can escape by running through the border??

Elio pushes James into the border like the cold hearted bitch that he is (fuck James was doing so good😭)

François is the ONLY ONE that just survives (cause he pretty!! I see what you did there capitol!!)

Fyi: Alain did die from the sword slice.

~~~

Aaaand Elio kills François for his supplies.

Cold hearted bitch didn't I tell you.

Elio wins🥳🥳

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1337wtfomgbbq · 3 years

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Let's go people. After spamming you with nutella we gonna have some fun too.

There's a lot of running away from the cornucopia this time around.

I thought there was no death but then you have James Simon Wallis Hunt, the doofus that steps on a landmine🤦‍♂️

Gilles, René and Andrea work together to get as much supplies as possible. There you go guys. The kids working together to get a headstart.

Alain kills François with a poisonous dart.

Riccardo, Jochen, Nelson and Carlos raid Bruno's camp while he's hunting. That's funny to me cause Carlos and Jochen are "parents" i like to put with Nelson and ariccardo. This generator seems to read my mind🤣

Patrick questions his sanity... I would too Patrick.

Phil sets an explosive and kills Andrea.

Gilles attacks Niki but he manages to get away. Is that cause niki has you on the gremlin list?

Nigel kills Jackie with a sickle. Seems to be going rather good for the kids🤷‍♂️

Elio and alain think about winning. Slow down there it's barely night 1🤣

Nigel just got lost🤣 can't say I'm surprised.

Nelson tends to Jacques wounds. How oddly nice of him.

Gilles finishes what he started and poisons Niki. Like damn, you really don't like him putting you ito the gremlin category. Like damn😅

Jochen attacks Jacques but he manages to get away.

A lot of teamups and foraging going on.

Also quite some people being sponsored.

Ayrton is unable to convince Jacky not to kill him. Like damn Jacky, you NEVER have any chill in these🤣

Jim sets an explosive off and kills Phil, René and Nigel. Okay 1) Jim you killed your husband you boozoo and 2) why does Nigel keep dying in explosions.

Elio, Emerson and Alain get into a fight and Emerson kills them both. Emerson out here not dying for once, and killing two parts of the opposing team.

This time Didier falls into a pit and dies🤦‍♂️

Carlos begs Gilles to kill him but he refuses?? Like Gilles, was it all just about killing Niki??

Nelson and Jochen end up cuddling.

Emerson stalking Bruno. Emerson are you finally going to do something in one of these??😳

Gilles sprains his ankle while running away from Riccardo. It seems like Gilles really only lasted as long as it took for him to kill Niki🤷‍♂️

Jacky fends Gilles, Jochen and Riccardo away from his fire. Jacky why you being such a dick to Jochen. Is it cause he was fratanising with the enemy?

Emerson attempts to climb a tree but falls to his death. Aaaaaand I spoke too soon on Emerson🤦‍♂️🤣

Let's go. The feast:

Riccardo and Jim both stay away.

Nelson and Gilles team up to get as many supplies as they can.

Jacques overpowers Carlos and kills him.

Jacky, Bruno and Jochen confront each other but just grab what they need before high tailing it. What the fuck happened between Jacky and Jochen??

Jim forces Riccardo to kill either Gilles or Jacques and since Riccardo refuses Jim kills him instead.

Jochen questions his sanity while Jacky picks flowers. What is this crazy?

Nelson collects fruits and Bruno gets food from a sponsor.

Jochen keeps questioning his sanity at night.

Nelson unknowingly eats toxic berries.

And Jacques and Gilles hold hands.

Jim dies of hypothermia. Ah man, Jim was on a roll. Why??!

Jacky dies trying to escape the area.

Bruno dies of dysentery.

??? Why does everybody keep dying from unrelated stuff ???

Gilles tries to sleep through the entire day. I would too Gilles. And I kinda forgot you're still here. Good on you.

Aaaaand I spoke too soon again. Jacques just killed Gilles with a tree branch.

Jochen dies trying to escape the area. My dumbass brain seeing Mickx paralels again.

Jacques is the winner.

Which is the second win for the launt 13.

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1337wtfomgbbq · 3 years

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Okay let's do another hunger games thing cause I could realy use a laugh right now.

Me: sending prayers to the heavens above that Nelson and Jochen DO NOT fall into pits and drown again🙏🙏

François bashed Riccardo's head in. Like... the fuck??

Niki and Nelson get into a figh over a bag. Niki gives up and retreats. Both are still alive, phew.

Carlos, Jim, René and James seem to team up for now.

And Jochen didn't drown. Another plus.

Everyone seems to be on the hunt for tributes to kill. Except Elio, he's fishing like: 😊🌼

James and Ronnie just got decimated by Jacques and Nigel.

Elio just killed Ayrton in his sleep. Guess we could've seen that one coming🤣

Didier, Jacques, René and Gilles are dicks to Carlos and raide his camp while he's out hunting.

Alain picks flowers.

Me: *grumbling noises *

Niki, Jim, Nelson and Bruno just ganged up on François. Like, revenge for Riccardo?? Niki might be on the opposing team but these idiot kids are still his idiot kids.

Andrea dies if dysentery. Had to google that and... yikes. Not a rather nice way to go.

Emerson stayed awake all night.

Bruno convinces Gilles to snuggle with him🤗

Elio set off an explosive and killed Patrick, Nigel and Didier, which 1) they are on your team you doughnut and 2) that was your husband you donkey🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Niki begs Jacques to kill him but he refuses. Erm... okay. I think Niki can't handle the stupid.

Nelson and Niki team up to drown Carlos.

Other than that this round was just a lot of hunting and fishing and getting pricked by thorns while searching for berries (in Phil's case).

Gilles forces Jochen to kill either Alain or Jim. He goes for Alain. That makes me sad.

Appart from that little mishap that night was spend trucing and cuddling.

But Jochen seems to be pissed about what Gilles made him do. He kills him the next day with a knife to the chest.

Jacques dies while trying to escape the area. And now I have to picture Jacques trying to climb this dome they're probably all in (me not knowing jack squat about hunger games) and falling to his death.

Niki, Jim and Bruno start fighting and Jim runs away as Niki kills Bruno. Niki seems to have snapped, the others should watch out😳

Now René is begging Jacky to kill him but he keeps him alive. Maybe he wants out cause Niki snapped🤷‍♂️

Uuuh, but Jim is stalking Niki now. Maybe thinking about some preamptive measures??

Now René killed Jim for his supplies. René that was dumb, why not form an alliance to take out Niki?? Everyone else is making truces for the night and snuggling again anyways.

Okay the feast. Let's go!

Nelson, Emerson, Jackie and Elio all decide to stay away.

Jochen bashes René's head in. *trying not to say he didn't drown yet to not jinx it *

Jacky and Phill get into a fight over raw meat but Phil gives up and runs away. At least nobody died🤷‍♂️

Niki just takes some clothes and high tails it out of there.

Jackie... fAllS INTo A PiT anD DieS😅 I wasn't expecting that. I'm still fearing for Nelson and Jochen not to die stupidly again that I laughed out loud at this one. I wasn't expecting it🤣

Jacky defeats Jochen in a fight but spares his life. He'd better🤬

Niki steals from Phil while he isn't looking.

Nelson tracks down and kills Phil. Well that escalated quickly for Phil.

Jochen just got lost. But he hasn't drowned yet😅

Emerson bled out due to untreated injuries.

Niki looks at the night sky... and thinks of his one true love... yogurt.

Jochen and Jacky tracked down and killed Elio. My Mickx brain going 😚 *chefs kiss *

Nelson discovered a river and Niki collects fruits.

Wolf muts get released.

Jochen and Jacky survive 🤗

Nelson knocks Niki out and leaves him for the muts. That's cold but not entirely unpredictable as well.

Aaaand Jochen just died of hypothermia. But at least he didn't drown and Jacky didn't have to kill him🤷‍♂️😅

Aaaaand Nelson just stabbed Jacky to death.

Which means Nelson wins🤗

Wow. I had totally given up hope for Nelson not to fall into a pit and for Jochen not to drown.

I really liked this outcome truth be told.

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1337wtfomgbbq · 3 years

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Okay, third and final round of the launt 13 vs the parents.

Right off the bat, a whole lot of running away. (Just so you know: took me four tries to put that fucking comma there)

Gilles breakes Jacques nose for a basket of bread. Wasn't René crazy for baked goods🤨🤔

François and Alain fight over a bag and François strangles Alain with its straps to death. Poor Alain... but good on François for once😊

Nigel and Niki both grab a shovel🤣

Bruno, Didier, François and Niki raid Gilles camp. What do yall have against Gilles? What happened.

Nigel picks flowers. Can't say I'm surprised🤷‍♂️ 😊🌼

Ronnie and Carlos team up, I get that. But Ayrton and Nelson?? James imma join in on questioning my sanity.

Jackie defeats Jacques in a fight but spares his life. *sigh * Jackie, it is kids vs parents. Kill the kid!!

Elio, Riccardo, Jim and Jochen raid René's camp.

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Andrea is pricked by thorns while picking berries. 😢

James defeats Jochen in a fight but spares his life. Stop sparing each others lifes people. Though in that case it's probably better, since you guys are on the same team😅🤦‍♂️

Nelson begs Elio to kill him but he refuses. Seems that James and Elio are finally understanding the game😏

Jacky passes out from exhaustion.

Patrick decapitates Niki😱 Holy shit my precious flowerchild, chill.

René attacks Jackie but Jacques protects him and kills René. Erm, Jacques? That's kinda defying the wjole purpose of this 'deathmatch kids vs parents' but okay.

Andrea and Phil decide to truce for the night.

Ayrton destroys Carlos' supplies while he sleeps.

A lot of chasing and stalking.

Elio stalks Nigel. Elio, I'm begging you, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!

Bruno and Emerson work together to drown Gilles. Ganging up on Gilles seems to have payed off. Still don't know what their deal was with Gilles.

Elio defeats Patrick in a figt but spares his life.

Bruno begs Nigel to kill him but Nigel keeps him alive.

François fends Andrea, Jim and Riccardo away from his fire. Good for François👍

Phil stabs Ayrton in the back.

Jackie, Jacky and Jacques cheerfull, sing songs together. Only ones missing there are James and Jochen, then you would have had the J-gang complete😅

Emerson and François team up for the day.

Didier collects fruit and Jacky finds a cave.

Riccardo, Ronnie, Jochen, James and Elio all team up.

Now Jacques is begging Bruno to kill him. He doesn't. Good boy Bruno.

Nelson and Jim get stuff from sponsors.

Andrea helps Nigel with his wounds.

Carlos and Phil both camouflage themselfes in the bushes.

A swarm of tracker jackers invades the arena.

Huh, that's something new.

François, Emerson, Nigel and Jacques all survive.

Ronnie and James run out of places to hide and get stung to death. Same happens to Phil and Nelson.

While running from the trackers Bruno throws Didier to the ground. Jim does the same to Jochen. Everybody for themselfes, right.

Jacky knocks Jackie out and leaves him as bait. Carlos does the same to Andrea.

Riccardo, Patrick and Elio slowly die of the toxins. No, you guys😢

That's 11 of them dead in one go😱

6 kids and 5 parents.

François begs Carlos to kill him but he refuses. That's a good call on Carlos' part. They just had a massacre, they gotta regroup.

But😰 François begging Carlos to kill him, CAUSE JACKIE DIED YOU GUYS😭

Jacques and Jim huddle for warmth.

Jacky silently snaps Brunos neck. My dumbass brain: Daddy chill😰

Nigel is unable to convice Emerson not to kill him. Poor Nigel. But he actually got pretty far this time.

Aaaand, the feast.

Jacky bashes Jacques head in with a mace. Daddy really has no chill anymore. Wonder why that is, maybe cause Jochen is gone🤔

And maybe the others know that, cause everybody else just stays away from the feast🤣

Seems like Jacky has snapped.

But now Jacky runs away from François. Is that cause Jacky knocked Jackie out and left him as bait. Does Framçois want revenge?

I gotta stop reading this with shipper goggles on🤦‍♂️

Jim gets food from a sponsor and Emerson travels to higher ground.

Oh my god😱 just realised that it looks like the parents will clench ONE victory. But who is it gonna be????

Shit just got even more interesting☺

Jim and François truce for the night and tell each other storys.

Jacky thinks about winning and Emerson stays awake all night. Hah yeah, with Jacky having snapped I wouldn't be sleeping either.

Carlos sadly dies due to untreated injuries.

Now François and Jacky team up for the day 🤨

Jim constructs a shack and Emerson searches for firewood.

Jim, François and Emerson start fighting. And François high tails it as Jim kills Emerson.

Jacky still thinking about winning.

Guys, better watch out Jacky REALLY did ACTUALLY snapp.

Jim picks flowers. I mean, why not🤷‍♂️🌼

François camouflages himself in the bushes and Jacky tries to sleep through the entire day. Gotta recharge sometime Jacky, eh.

Now Jacky has convince François to snuggle. Imma be real with you François, I have a bad feeling about this.

Jim gets medical supplies from a sponsor.

Jacky and Jim now team up to hunt François down, but they don't find him. But François finds a cave.

Okay, Jacky and Jim both seem to be injured as they have to treat their injuries. That's not good😢

François goes to sleep.

Now it's back to François and Jacky teaming up for the day. The guys really do be flip floping all over the place.

Jim accidentally detonates a landmine while trying to arm it. Now, that is a bummer. But Jim got into the top three so there's that🤗

François bleeds out due to untreated injuries.

Meaning the parents, due to Jacky, manage to clench one victory. And it's actually Jacky's second win in this series.

What do we learn from this?

Do not trust Jacky Ickx, he will play the long game and kill you.

Do not trust Nelson Piquet, he is a gremlin.

Do not trust Jacques Laffite, he is chaos incarnate.

Do not trust those three.

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