#like shes making effort but if its more harmful and confusing than it is inclusive

[lgbtpolitics]

Apologies for the long ask, I am just rambling and I'm curious about your take on this if you're interested.

Re: your post about bi women, biphobia is very very different when coming from gay men and lesbians versus straight people in my experience. And with women, when it comes from straight people it tends to be pretty similar to lesbophobia? Like, women are naturally attracted to men and that's the way it should be, so lesbians are sick in the head and bi women are just confused and will grow out of it -- or in one recent example, a middle-aged bi woman was treated like a lesbian because she married a woman after being married to a man, and she was treated like she was abandoning men or something. No time left to grow out of it I guess? She reached her assigned-woman-expiration-date maybe?

When it comes from cishet people it comes from a position of power that's being threatened by the presence of happy LGBT people, and/or an ingrained sense of disgust. I won't speak for gay men but with lesbians, biphobia often comes from experiences of oppression (the way men treat women in general, especially lesbians, the way attraction to men is considered required for sanity and respect, etc) that they then project on bi women -- and often, also straight women.

So it honestly is a very very different discussion to be had, depending on where the biphobia is coming from. And I understand why bi people so often point these discussions at lesbians and gay men rather than cishets, because cishets are in a position of power over all of us whereas lesbians and gay men aren't. Cishets have no incentive to listen or respect bisexuals, but the LGBT community is a community.

Nooo rant away!

And yeah I totally agree with what you're saying, biphobia from gay men and lesbians comes from a different place (thats not to say less harmful, just different) than it does in cishet people. Even just looking at within the LGBT community, there are a lot of different strands of bigotry towards one another; you have biphobia that comes from the very "exclusionist" (for want of a better word) strain i.e. that bisexual men and women aren't really LGBT, and then you have a level of biphobia that comes from a more "inclusionist" standpoint i.e. that bisexuals arent inclusive enough and should identify as pansexual etc.

And yeah i think part of the focus on gay men and lesbians comes from exactly what you say - it feels like a more achievable goal to eradicate biphobia from gay men and lesbians (whether it is more achievable or not idk but i think some perceive it as such) or at least to push biphobic LGBT people out of social circles enough to be irrelevant. And tbh i dont think its entirely wrong to focus so much on this; as biphobia from cishets is in the same sphere as general homophobia and transphobia this does actually get a fair amount of attention even if its not specific in the same way, if that makes sense. Attention needs to be drawn to intercommunity bigotry because its more likely to be swept under the rug.

What kind of annoys me, and this is what i felt about the post in question, is that sometimes people seem to spend so much time and effort on intercommunity bigotry they almost seem to forget about the more general bigotry. Case in point; the post said nothing at all about the LGBT community specifically, was just talking about self hatred in bi women, and yet people were absolutely insisting that bi women are much more hated for liking men than women. The idea that bi women have no reason to feel shame about liking women is the direct implication of some of the responses.

Whats kind of ironic about these things is that it somwhat comes full circle - if bi women genuinely had no issues about liking other women, but mostly felt self-hatred about liking men, they would actually have very little in common with lesbians.

[project-ohagi]

Hayato Yamagata x Reader - Soulmate AU {Haikyuu!!}

[Soulmate AU: Wherein you have the first words your soulmate ever speak to you, written on your wrist].

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Although the day was long, the evening seemed longer - significantly so.

Volleyball practice had ended a while earlier, yet here he was, remaining in the building to run some errands. The dormitories weren't far, so it wasn't as if actually minded. Glancing down at his wrist, a solemn sigh passed his lips. Gentle fingers traced the inscription: the first words his soulmate would ever orate to him, the words fated to spark an inevitable romance, which would blossom and blossom. Despite currently being unfamiliar with his predestined partner, his heart soared at the very thought of them. He knew, instinctively, that no matter their appearance, to him, they would present the most beautiful divinity.

Their aura would be unmatched in compassion towards himself and others - this was Hayato's sole expectation. Besides that, he couldn't care less. His heart thundered with the determination to shower them the utmost love and affection. He would treat them as a god, a goddess, a mixture of the two, or some genderless celestial. Whatever their manifestation, he would love them, both passionately and unconditionally.

However, the phrase engraved into his wrist was quite unsettling.

'No, please don't touch that!'

Without context, it sent insuppressible shivers all the way down his spine. Obviously, worry consumed him - it always did. He couldn't comprehend the truth of the message. Yet...an ache tugged so violently at his heartstrings. Those words bled pain, desperation. If they, his future, needed help in any way, then with his fiercest conviction, he wished to bestow it upon them. He wanted to find them, to cradle their frame tightly, close to his chest, so that his raging heartbeat could echo in their ears, acting as the proof of his love. He desired nothing more than this, and to witness the majesty of their smile. It made him giddy, like a young child arresting its parents' attention.

...Until his mind played back the phrase, droning on in miserable notes, as an amalgamation of all the world's depressing songs.

His yearning for the information of what agonised you so greatly was causing slight mishaps in his daily life. You had yet to physically enter the scrapbook of his life, but he could almost feel your energy...fragments of your pain. It was suffocating, sometimes. But still, he didn't completely understand. Meeting you, at this point, was absolutely imperative; he figured that it could potentially be the difference between life and death. Another abysmal thought began to plague his already-throbbing mind - what could you be referring to? What would cause such wretched words to tumble from your lips, and would they be in retaliation to a forceful act on his end? He really hoped that wasn't so. If he traumatised you to the extent at which your very vocals trembled, then, soulmate or no, surely your heart wouldn't ever allow itself to love him.

That imagining was a cursed reel, and he vowed never to replay it. Besides, there couldn't have been any point to worrying so tirelessly, when you were still yet-to-be-discovered. Hayato could hazard a guess that, at the least, you weren't in his class, and, perhaps some mystical connection might have compelled you towards each other, if you ever passed in the halls. Therefore, he decided that either you simply didn't occupy a space in the third year, or you didn't attend Shiratorizawa, period.

Although his brain favoured the latter, his heart pounded for the former, since it would obviously make finding you so much easier. Hayato had been raised to place faith in his gut instinct, and right now, his gut seemed to produce two words: foreign and danger. He was unsure whether this meant that you were of a different lineage, or that you attended another school, and consequently would be alien to him.

But, danger...

...There was no doubt - you were in a precarious situation, or on the losing side of a violent, bloody battle. He prayed for your eternal safety, day in and day out. You would forever arrest his unconditional support, no matter the circumstance.

Shaking off these depressing pictures was difficult, but necessary, because torturing himself over them during your omission from his life, would only affect his health and grades on a greater scale. Hayato trudged around the building, finding the papers and other things he needed, and prepared to head back to his dormitory. So much of his mental energy had been wiped out already, and he was exhausted. Lying down on his lovely, soft bed sounded blissful.

Instead, mere moments after falling, he registered that what he was kneeling atop wasn't a bed, but in fact...a girl?

Embarrassment permeated his very core. He never achieved much with women, mainly due to his sharp glares (yes, the unintentional ones - perhaps he had the masculine equivalent of resting bitch face), but this was just...oh my lord, why? He refrained from punching himself, only since terror had gripped your features, and he didn't wish to disturb you any further. He scrambled to his feet, apologising profusely, and reaching out a hand, to help you up. Those almost-feral, chocolate eyes ghosted over you, and in an instant, he was transfixed. You adorned the regular, Shiratorizawa uniform, but it appeared to be slightly larger than you needed. Your sleeves were very long, he noted, and he couldn't see your wrists at all. Luscious, (h/c) locks swept across your face, partially shielding your (e/c) orbs from view.

"Eh...are you alright? Can you stand?" His genuine concern captivated you, but you were panicked, tears welling up amongst the glittering constellations.

When you failed to respond, he started rubbing his neck, in an effort to soothe his nerves. This was a situation unlike any other (he was often a lot more careful of his surroundings), but his aid seemed to offend you, for some reason, so what could he actually do? The waterfall, which dripped from your eyes, was something he desired to wipe away. He detested this - watching you suffer in relative silence. Why weren't you letting him help? Couldn't you speak? Was something about his actions, his words, so wrong? After a minute or two of deliberation, he decided to perch himself on the floor, in front of you.

"Do you need somebody to talk to? Should I go and find a teacher?"

The words remained lodged in your throat, slowly suffocating you.

You squirmed uncomfortably, every movement revealing slightly more skin, although you didn't appear to notice. Hayato's eyes travelled to your wrists, now exposed, and his blood ran cold. His compassionate nature kicked into overdrive, and he immediately locked on to your arm. Meek sounds of discomfort rolled off your tongue, as the knife-inflicted wounds seared with pain. He was speechless, left gawking at your arms, specifically the one he had grabbed. Despite his concern, he proceeded to squeeze your wrist (albeit, absentmindedly - he was far too focused on the actual cuts). His fingers moved closer to them, as his mind scrambled desperately for any trace of logic.

Fear widened your eyes, causing you to whisper-yell, "No, please don't touch that!"

Hayato's mind ceased its constant rotations.

His eyes graced your own, partly in astonishment, partly in worry. He remembered all his previous musings with great sobriety - he was right to be concerned for your safety. Although, it hadn't ever truly crossed his thoughts, that you could have been your own arch-nemesis. That was just...it was awful, the fact that you felt such hopelessness, to rely upon a knife to release the agony. The deadly war in which you were engaged...it was against yourself, and that knowledge hurt immensely. He wished to place gentle kisses along all those beautiful, yet disheartening battle scars.

They were beautiful, he affirmed, because they were a part of you. They had been carved on to your flesh, and in spite of their secrecy, you owned them. With enough time and care, they could be removed, but they were a testament to your survival. You had lived, through everything which tried to kill you, and that made you strong - stronger than him, by far.

With determination, he maintained the eye-contact.

"You can talk to me, about anything. I'm not going to judge you. Everyone feels pain - people just cope differently."

"You - You're not disgusted? Scared?" Your voice quivered, emotions spilling to the surface.

"No, of course not. Those scars are yours, and you're beautiful. I'm not scared of them - I love them, like I love you."

This boy, he was honestly too sweet. Someone of your position, your weak constitution, didn't deserve he who behaved so admirably. He possessed a strength with which you could never compete. He was everything you had ever wished for in life. But...you couldn't keep him, and he couldn't keep you.

Not in this lifetime.

Before the illusion vanished, before it was too late and regret began to fester, you smiled, as brightly as possible. You wanted to leave him with something positive, if only for a mere second. Hayato mirrored your expression, ears burning crimson with the inclusion of your little "I love you too.". A question danced on the tip of his tongue, but he was never allowed to pose it.

"Hey, Hayato! What're you doing over here?" Said male turned, meeting the perplexed gaze of a certain, infamous red-head.

"Tendou?" He muttered, equally as confused. "I'm helping someone I bumped into."

A strange look came upon the boy's face.

"Well, did she run away before I got here? I didn't see anyone!"

The chocolate-orbed one paused, asking, "No...she's right her-"

Although, when he tried to glimpse your divinity once more, he found nothing but an empty spot. There was no indication that you had ever been in the general area, but he hadn't noticed you leave. Tendou surely would have seen you...?

Was madness consuming him?

#Yamagata Hayato #Hayato Yamagata #Shiratorizawa #Haikyuu #Haikyuu Imagine #Self-Harm #Angst #Fluff #Soulmate

[floatingcatacombs]

Why Tomoyo’s Mom is a Political Lesbian

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 1

In my Cardcaptor Sakura gushpiece last year, I made an offhanded promise to write about why Tomoyo’s mom is a political lesbian once I finished my watchthrough. With all 70 episodes under my belt, it’s time to investigate what I was grasping at there.

I will never be over Sakura’s poncho in episode 2

We hear about Tomoyo’s mom as early as the second episode of the show. After Sakura and Tomoyo make plans to break into their school at night, Tomoyo arrives with a full security escort in a tinted vehicle, with an armored van full of costumes for Sakura right behind her. You see, her mother is the president of a very large toy company, which means that she’s ridiculously rich and able to assign bodyguards to her kid like it’s nothing. The two observations that instantly come to one’s mind are that a) all of the bodyguards are women, and b) they all have the gayest haircuts imaginable.

“And here are my conspicuously butch and femme bodyguards”

The rest of Tomoyo’s family situation really only shows up in Episode 10 and 11. We are properly introduced to her mom (Sonomi), and the chip on her shoulder. She’s out to spite Sakura’s father in increasingly lavish ways, and we learn that this stems from a long-standing grudge – Sakura’s dad married the girl that Sonomi was also helplessly in love with. So that’s the ‘lesbian’ box checked off of my argument.

That haircut..sure is asymmetric

But what about the ‘political’ part of ‘political lesbian’? I probably should have started with that rather than Cardcaptor wiki synopses. Political lesbianism is a combination of second-wave feminist ideals with the notion that sexuality is a choice. Rather than dumping a manifesto onto you, I’ll sum up the underlying philosophical argument at play here:

1. Sexual orientation is a choice, as is choosing to act on sexual orientation. 2. Heterosexuality is inherently patriarchal and oppressive. 3. Women have an obligation to avoid and fight patriarchy wherever they can.

___________

Conclusion 1: All women should avoid heterosexuality. Conclusion 2: All women who continue participating in heterosexuality are abandoning their obligations.

This is a seriously weighty argument. If we accept all three premises, we are left with the conclusion that not only is heterosexuality harmful to women, but women must abandon straight relationships, otherwise they are actively collaborating with the enemy.

What does the world even look like if one follows this argument to its conclusion? Most political lesbians also believe in lesbian separatism – the notion that women’s liberation cannot be achieved by collaborating with men. Women ought to give up marriage, families, and sex with men, otherwise they will never be able to overcome institutional sexism. As an alternative to sex with men, women could consider…sex with women! But whether they have sex with women or none at all isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things. What really matters is the political action of refusing heterosexuality.

political lesbian praxis

The Daidouji family’s living situation all but confirms Sonomi’s commitment to separatism. She lives in a modernist mansion where all of her maids, guards, and other servants are women. Most notably, she has no husband or male partner to be seen whatsoever. Sakura even makes the observation that Tomoyo never talks about her father. Other than whatever happened for Sonomi to have Tomoyo, she appears to have completely cut the concept of men and patriarchy out of her life. If her goal was to create a lesbian separatist dynasty, she appears to have succeeded (Tomoyo is, of course, a baby lesbian in the making).

Me gaining class consciousness

There is a certain allure to political lesbianism. The idea that men are the root of all suffering and cutting ties to men provides a fairy-tale escape for some women. For anyone who has ever felt threatened or imbalanced in heterosexual relationships, it offers an explanation on top of the way out. Of course, choosing to be a political lesbian still requires swallowing some pretty big pills. Should we try?

The most challenging premise at first is the idea that sexual orientation is a choice that can and should be changed on a whim. The social construction of sexuality is definitely not a mindset that has won out. In fact, the modern gay rights movements in the United States has specifically been spearheaded with the idea that gay people are “born this way”, a purely biological challenge to the idea that someone can just decide to like women once they hear about the evils of men. Indeed, the political lesbians of old were somewhat split on whether sexuality is socially constructed or a biological impulse. However, they can just take the middle ground and argue that it doesn’t really matter – lesbian relationships may or may not be able to provide an alternative to heterosexual relationships for historically straight women, but what really matters is the political act of refusing heterosexuality. If a woman cannot bring herself to love other woman, she can simply take a vow of celibacy or otherwise avoid men. This brings us straight to the second and third arguments – that heterosexuality itself is oppressive and must be actively resisted.

Sure, patriarchy and oppression are bad, but the routes chosen to argue against them are important. Although they believe in flexible and constructed sexuality, political lesbian’s arguments against heterosexuality are extremely biological. The seminal pamphlet “Love your Enemy?” argues that “there is a very special importance attached to sexuality under male supremacy when every sexual reference, every sexual joke, every sexual image serves to remind a woman of her invaded centre...” Penetration, specifically, carries strong symbolic significance in reinforcing the power of men on top of its physically invasive component. Even non-penetrative heterosexual sex still contains that roleplay of power and powerlessness to a political lesbian. There is no loophole that will allow women to keep loving men ethically – the demands of political lesbianism are Kantian maxims.

Sonomi loved Sakura’s mom to the point of viewing her pairing off with a man as a betrayal. It’s very easy to see it as an ideological betrayal on top of the personal one.

The elephant in the room is, of course, the third-wave notion that femaleness and maleness are not inherently tied to genitalia. After all, to the shock and chagrin of many a radical feminist, some women have penises. Is their sex inherently heteropatriarchal? What about men who don’t have penises? Do they have a get-out-of-jail-free card from this whole mess? What about nonbinary people, who have been completely ruled out of this conversation so far? In arguing a biological model of oppression, political lesbians will need to be able to answer for all of this.

Most of them respond by biting the bullet and doubling down on their original positions. They claim that trans women are just scheming men in dresses, that trans men are gender traitors who want to abandon their fellow women in pursuit of male privilege, and that nonbinary people are simply confused. It is through this reasoning that so many political lesbians grew up to be trans-exclusionary radical feminists. Many former members of the Leeds Revolutionary Feminist Group, such as Julie Bindel, have gradually pivoted from arguing for women’s rights on all fronts to single-mindedly becoming obsessed with making sure that trans people are forcibly excluded from all gendered spaces. Not only is it depressing to see so many radical feminists fall down this pathway, it’s terrifying to watch as TERFs gain more and more of a media foothold as they start to team up with their enemies, the religious right, over their shared hatred of transgender existence.  

shut the fuck up, terf

It’s a depressing turn of events! Still, even knowing that the movement is rooted in transphobia, can political lesbianism be salvaged? The idea of women’s-only-spaces as a place for comfort, safety, and liberation still feels powerful and immediately understandable and implementable. Though the mainstream LGBT+ movement gained widespread acceptance through advocating that there was nothing they could do about their sexuality, compulsory heterosexuality is still a real thing for many women and spaces to help recognize that would be very useful. Of course, the definition of a woman is going to have to broaden to be trans-inclusive, and as recent efforts to amend the Gender Recognition Act in the UK have shown, this is very difficult in the current TERFy political climate. But I don’t think that every bit of political lesbian ideology needs to be shelved or trashed. As future waves of feminism start reigniting and reconciling various second-wave and third-wave conflicts, I’d estimate that political lesbianism is going to get a fair reevaluation amongst mainstream feminists sometime within the next decade, with the bad parts hopefully cut and the strong parts returned to public consciousness.

pretend kero-chan is giving this lecture ok

So where does this leave Tomoyo’s mom? uhhhhhhhhhhh

Tomoyo’s mom manages to achieve the lesbian separatist ideal of a life lived without men, but she only manages to do so by taking advantage of her vast wealth to set up her own miniature state of sorts. However, this totally goes against the radical feminist principles of grassroots organizing and class consciousness. In achieving the physical goals of political lesbianism, Sonomi has completely missed the symbolic goals of the ideology and is actually reinforcing heteropatriarchal power structures. With her vast concentrated wealth and vertical power hierarchy over her guards and maids, Sonomi is reproducing the very male supremacy power structures that radical feminists work to fight against. Though she may fancy herself a political lesbian, she probably would not be welcomed by any of them.

Also her hairstyle is still kind of bad. terf bangs, lol

#12daysofanime #12 days of anime #cardcaptor sakura #feminism #political lesbianism #sweet baby lesbian tomoyo and her ideologically compromised grownup lesbian mom

[96thdayofrage]

That’s a bold statement right? Oprah Winfrey is what most people consider to be the epitome of black excellence. She is a rags to riches story and a story of overcoming childhood sexual trauma and poverty to gain extreme wealth which she uses to “empower women” and “give representation to black women in media”. And in a lot of ways that is true. Oprah’s face every weekday on ABC was definitely something that made way for black women in the entertainment industry and journalism. She supports black directors like Ava Duvernay and Tyler Perry. She “gives back to the community”. What’s not to like about Oprah, right? PLENTY. Plenty is not to like about Oprah and her thirty year long career has PLENTY of anti-blackness, misogynoir, and dirtiness; which should honestly be expected. No one gets that rich without playing the game.

Reasons I don’t fuck with Oprah: The semi-comprehensive rant.

Oprah caters to the white feminist gaze. If you need context on what I mean by this please check out my article: ““Aint I a Woman?”- Feminism, the Illusion of Inclusion, and Historic Betrayal of White Women”. The demographic that Oprah has targeted for viewership of her talk show, and for her magazine are white women. Any episode of her show will feature a mostly white woman audience. This is possible because white women have more economic mobility to be stay at home mothers than black women. And in knowing this, Oprah’s show catered to it’s demographic. Being a registered and loud democrat her show was also HIGHLY liberal in its topics.

She was known for asking the hard questions- which in this context means “willing to gaslight and use dog whistle tactics on her black guests”- especially her black women guests.

One instance of this is when she interviewed Toni Braxton after Braxton filed for bankruptcy in 1998. Toni was embarrassed from having found herself in this situation. She was in an abusive record contract with La Face where she was only making $0.35 per album.

For context, La Face also famously fucked over TLC and in 1995 they had to file bankruptcy as well. Toni had FIVE Grammys and had sold over $170 million in records.

With TLC going bankrupt, the conversation on black women artists in the industry and specifically the record label in question fucking black women artists over was a part of public consciousness… for the black community. But for her white feminist, neo-liberal audience, Oprah wasn’t asking questions about why this continued to happen to black women. The specific abuses of this record company were COMPLETELY glazed over. She chose instead to GASLIGHT THE FUCK out of Toni- essentially victim blaming her for being taken advantage of by her record company. She also asked Toni very pointed questions about why the then five time Grammy winner felt like she had the right to spend the money she should have been earning. Toni is noticeably hurt, embarrassed, and confused by the questions and has been vocal about her feelings in that moment. Oprah is trash as fuck for this shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftLjr4CQcrQ

In another instance of shitting on a black woman, Mo’Nique has also been vocal about her dislike of Oprah. Mo’Nique worked with Oprah for Precious. Oprah asked permission for herself to interview Mo’Nique’s brother who molested her as a child. Mo’Nique approved, but declined her own attendance, then confided in Oprah PRIVATELY about issues with her mother. It was clear that there was no love between Mo’Nique and her mother. Oprah responded by inviting Mo’Nique’s mother and father on the show and interviewing them as well. She also allowed Gerald to “give his side” and talk about how he was hurt by talking about her abuse at this hand and paint himself as a victim, while her mother and father tell how they’re upset that she talked about this and should’ve been discussed within the family (but they all agreed to come to the show).

Oprah allowed Mo’Nique’s family, and her abuser to gaslight her on national TV. And in the interview, Oprah also acknowledged that she was aware of the beef between Mo’Nique and her mother at the time.

Mo’Nique explains her side of the story here: https://youtu.be/Jb6N7aw61z8

Mo’Nique confronted Oprah about going behind her back and Oprah said she would “check into it” and never called back. Mo’Nique then confronted Oprah the next time they saw each other in person and Oprah issued a half assed apology. Oprah, Tyler Perry, and Lee Daniels then engaged in a smear campaign labeling Mo’Nique as difficult to work with because she was not okay with Oprah exploiting her trauma in ways she didn’t approve. Mo’Nique’s career suffered as a result. Mo’Nique is still fighting the effect this has had on her career and even recently has called out Oprah again about her silence on her Netflix boycott and black women not being paid what they’re worth in Hollywood.

Oprah has been loudly silent recently as well, claiming she’s not going to “meet negative energy where it is”… but she was willing to meet Mo’Nique’s abusers (in more ways than one) and exploit her trauma. TRASH.

Oprah has several problematic business relationships and personal relationships. Her most notable one is with Donald Trump himself. They were so close that Donald Trump once remarked in 1999 that he considered her as a running mate. He even echoed the sentiment in 2015 when he was running. Oprah and Trump have an over 30 year relationship and he has been on her show several times, with the most recent being in 2011. The first known (at least to the indication of my research) appearance of his on her talk show was in 1988. We are now real aware of the kind of vile, racist, sexually abusive, and all around terrible human being he is- but how is Oprah guilty by association if his political views weren’t publicly known until his 2016 presidential run? Answer: Donald Trump has been a racist as long as he’s been a public figure.

Examples of Donald Trump’s historical racism include: being found to discriminate against black renters in the 1970’s, racist treatment of black employees at his hotels and casinos, calling for the death penalty of the Central Park 5 in 1989 (and maintaining that they were guilt in 2016 which is ten years after they were exonerated), stating in 1989 that “well educated blacks have privilege”, blatant racism on Obama’s birth, and this is all before he ever started his political campaign in 2015 with more blatant racism. And this is the man that Oprah gave a platform on her show several times and never inquired about the lawsuits, the sexual assault accusations, nor his political views. And seeing as though he was close enough to her to see her as a potential running mate- I understand why those questions never came up.

Toni Braxton’s Gucci silverware was much, much more important.

Oprah’s Harpo studios have done a lot of work with the Weinstein company. Weinstein is the man behind the co-opting of the #MeToo movement by white feminists. The #MeToo movement was started by Tarana Burke, a black woman who has all been erased from the #MeToo narrative in favor of pretty, white actresses. According to the actresses who have accused Weinstein of assault and harassment, his behavior was no secret. Oprah, as an insider to the business had to have been aware of who this man was and still chose to work with him. Weinstein also used his relationship with and proximity to Oprah to lure in women.

This, of course, is not her fault, but is also easily avoidable by not having a close relationship with a serial sexual abuser.

I don’t kiss on folks I don’t know that well- personally.

Proponents of Oprah often times cite her humanitarian efforts as a means to justify her as a “Black leader” or black excellence, but many are not aware that most celebrities only donate what they would have had to pay in taxes, and Oprah, as an incredibly wealthy woman would have to pay A LOT in taxes. Some of her tales of generosity have amounted to serious harm for its recipients. For example- the recipients of the famous car giveaway found that after being forced to pay taxes on the car, it was much more trouble than it was worth and most couldn’t afford to keep it. At her famous, glamorous school in south Africa, tales of her covering up knowledge and inaction of sexual assault being committed there is ripe. It is also notable that on the list of official charities that she has been known to contribute to- none of them are black women specific with the exception of the Girl’s school. As someone who caters to white liberals, I don’t exactly expect them to.

I grew up in Chicago and went to Harper High School for one year before transferring to a private Catholic school on a scholarship. Oprah featured the school on her show in 2006, then followed up in 2010 (the year after I transferred out). Oprah offered no financial aid to the students of Harper High School who she used for trauma porn. The student exchange program started by the show did continue, however, for a few years after she came and left.

Arne Duncan attempted to “turnaround” the school and gave it some funds, but due to the actual socioeconomic issues that were affecting student enrollment, attendance, and motivation never being addressed, mental health services never being addressed or offered, the violence in the outside community never being addressed, and the actual infrastructure of the school continuing to fall into dilapidation- the turnaround failed.

Arne Duncan never saw the turnatound through- he left Chicago to be Secretary of Education for Obama in 2008, the year I arrived at Harper as a student.

As someone who was an actual student of Harper, but came from a private education the year prior and the years after- it feels like a prison.

It is a place that sucks the motivation from even the brightest students. The work was not challenging to me. The services for students who were gifted and motivated like me were limited and I found myself coasting through because the workload wasn’t challenging. I can understand how students with hard home lives, with different educational ability levels, and with different levels of motivation could walk into that prison and never see or want anything more from their education. Having witnessed this first hand and walked away without offering aid is disgusting of Oprah.

Oprah answered questions about the opening of her South African school in 2007 with the logic ”If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don’t ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school.” Her inaction is loud. She met with Harper students who were literally asking for the same standards of education as white suburban children, opened a school elsewhere without providing any resources, then went on her show and said “I believe, just as I know all of you watching believe, that every American child deserves the best school” and encouraged people to go to Standup.com for aid instead. She has no problems with broadcasting the trauma of black children so her white viewers can feel like they helped. She has no problems walking away from the same black children she just exploited without providing them resources, then further going to the media and claiming that the black children in the city she claims as home doesn’t want or deserve them. Fuck Oprah.

And yes- this one IS personal.

In the years since Oprah has ignored the cries for help from inner city Chicago kids for better education- CPS (Chicago Public Schools) has gone on a full scale assault on those same children, closing and targeting schools of children in poor black and latino neighborhoods for closure and forcing them to travel longer distances, into unfamiliar and unsafe territories. This is marked by the CPS “ Safe Passage” program where CPS now pays adults to stand on corners on the new routes to these schools and protect children who are in unfamiliar neighborhoods on their way to school. CPS has announced the closure of ALL FOUR high schools in the Englewood area, Harper will close at the end of this year. This means ALL Englewood high school students will have no high school in their neighborhood.

Oprah had a chance to make a real difference here ten years ago and decided these kids weren’t worth it. It is honestly disgusting. But let Oprah tell it- these kids don’t want or deserve more.

Oprah’s Golden Globes Speech this year was when I had officially had enough of her white feminist, neo-liberal nonsense, and pandering to white sensibilities at the cost of erasing the pain of black women and children. In this speech, Oprah compared the historical sexual and racial abuse experienced by black women and girls (like the assaults she covered up at her school) to this pretty little white elite #MeToo movement (the one that calls out her buddies Trump and Weinstein, and has erased black women like Tarana Burke). Erasure and exploitation of black women and children and our trauma for white feminists to feel some sick sense of Munchausen’s by proxy is honestly repulsive.

Their struggle has never been ours.

Oprah has been recently more on the producing side, giving opportunities to black women in film like Ava DuVernay. Most of Oprah’s credit in the black community come from her acting and producing career on the grounds that she provides representation for black people in media. I have a counter for that as well. How many films has Oprah produced that she did not also star in, thus making them self serving? Of those few- how many were actually targeted to African American demographics? Queen Sugar and Greenleaf have found a home on her network- as has Iyanla: Fix My Life- but with those exceptions- Oprah’s body of work is just more neo-liberal white feminist stories about fighting for white approval and acceptance and furthering the idea that proximity to whiteness is an accomplishment. This is an idea that’s just as damaging to black audiences as lack of representation at all.

Her stories also seem to either be black women trauma porn (on theme) or integrationalist. This is most interesting to me, as her projects that are not geared towards black audiences like The Hundred Foot Journey, don’t have these same themes.

The family of one of her films The Great Debaters is currently suing her- claiming she never paid for the rights to their patriarch’s story. She used her promotional tour for Selma to down talk the young, black, grassroots protesters against police brutality in Ferguson. This is a very stark contrast, considering that she is now offering thousands of dollars to support protesters of school shootings in Florida, whom are also grassroots, but also not mostly black and are also in line with the neo-liberal political agenda.

Between Oprah’s dicey connections in the industry, her respectability politics, her exploitation of black pain, her gas lighting of black women in crisis, and her erasure of black women’s SPECIFIC intersectionality for white women’s gaze and coin- I find no qualms with making the following statement:

FUCK OPRAH.

[huilianwrites]

The Sum of Our Choices

Book Title: Beartown

Author: Fredrick Backman

ISBN: 978-1-405-93020-8

It started with hockey, and ended with hockey. Or not quite. But to get to the end, there were hundreds of little lessons that turned out to be not so little after all. 

With a town such as Beartown, hockey is the end all be all of it. The town survived because of hockey, and every single person in it had to love hockey. Either as a player, a coach, a former player, a sponsor, a parent, or just a spectator. Until there is those who don't love hockey. Until there is someone who wants to love hockey as a player but can only do it as a spectator, because Beartown is a hockey town, but it is a boy's hockey town. 

Hockey encased all aspects of Beartown residences life, until it didn’t. But at the same it, it still encased every aspect of life in Beartown, just in a differently. It’s just that the journey to make hockey being different in Beartown took a girl claiming back her fear of the dark;  a girl claiming back the wildness that is in her blood; several boys knowing what is right and what is not; and several sets of parents, with a few of them not in a set, realizing in their own ways that they cannot forever protect their children. 

General

At first, I thought this book is going to be a book about hockey. About the sport and about the players. I did not read this with much enthusiasm in the first chapters, because of the many confusing points of view and the plot that is just hockey, hockey, and hockey. I kept reading because the author makes such good lines about the struggle of sports, and about the nature of living in a nearly dead town, and the characters that are so well developed. It was a good thing that I kept reading, because it is a book about hockey, but it is full of other, beautiful things too. 

There was conflict between David, Peter, and Sune, all of them coaches in the Beartown hockey club, but all of them differing in coaching styles. All of them having deep respect to each other, but they cannot agree in the coaching. Add that with the board wanting to fire off Sune, because the A-team was not winning any games, but wanting it to seem like Sune walked off out of his own accord, because Sune had been coaching the team for longer than anyone can remember and no one wants a mess, I thought that this conflict is the center conflict in the book because of its all inclusiveness to all the characters. The added pressure happens because the junior team has to win this national semifinals, and then later the finals, because if they don’t then the town will die. It’s been dying for years, and this is the chance they have to keep it alive. If they win, then David will go up to being the coach for the A-team, and Sune will be ‘fired’. If they don’t, well, no harm in keeping Sune, because David does not prove himself capable of handling the A-team. This interaction really showcases the powers that be in a small town, how several people decide the life and death of hundreds of people. And this become a scale model on how a country, and even the world, really is. 

But then, not even halfway through the book, the junior team won the semifinals. It was unexpected for me. With David who had been coaching these boys for years until he became almost like a father to them, the whole team managed to beat the supposedly better opponent. Beartown junior hockey team has an ace, called Kevin. Kevin is the best player in the junior hockey team, and maybe even the best junior player in the country. He’s precise and perfect, because his father demanded so and his mother does not dare contradict his father. And besides, they have Benji, the sentinel always watching on Kevin’s shoulder, and Kevin’s best friend. 

And then you have Amat, the boy who’s been told repeatedly that he is not good enough, not strong enough, nor privileged enough to play at the junior team. Amat proved them wrong, while at the same time, proving that your circumstances is not all that is in your life. He’s the reason, other than Kevin and Benji, that Beartown manages to win the semifinals

You won’t know if it was the hockey and all the glory of being the star player, or the fact that Kevin has never been denied anything in his life, but on the celebration party at Kevin’s house (that his parents didn’t attend and pretend not to know about), Kevin took Maya to his room, and he raped her. He raped her. Ana, Maya’s best friend whose wildness has been slowly chipped away, felt trapped and ashamed, and she left Maya at Kevin’s house, despite the two of them having promised each other not to leave each other behind. Amat, being in love with Maya, walked in on Kevin raping Maya. 

Then, Maya chose to not say to anyone about Kevin raping her, because she didn’t want anyone else to get hurt. And Ana, who had felt ashamed about leaving Maya, and now angry at her behalf, asked her to tell. Maya did, just before the junior team’s finals. 

The junior team lost. If they had won, maybe the town could have been kinder to Maya, but they lost. They lost because Kevin was not there, despite the team and David’s best efforts. And everyone thought that Maya was just calling for attention, that Maya was asking for it, that Maya was the one wanting to have sex, but then she had second thoughts. Peter, being both the General Manager of the hockey club and Maya’s father, felt that this was on him, because hockey was there every single step of Kevin’s life. Kira, Maya’s mother, who sacrificed her chance of an amazing career in law, was furious. They both felt that it should be the other way around, that Kira should be devastated and Peter furious, but what they don’t know is that they both felt the same way, it just manifested differently. 

I really felt the way Backman wrote about rape, and its consequences, is shockingly realistic. Because the boy is an accomplished athlete, it was not her future that was ruined, it was his. And then his future was not even ruined at all, because Kevin had a father who would do anything to keep it that way. Maya’s word was not believed, except by the ones closest to her, and everyone blamed her for the ‘incident’. In the end, it was because Amat chose to stand his ground and do the right thing that most people believed that Kevin raped Maya. Maya’s word did not stand a chance against Kevin, but Amat’s did. 

In the end, Benji was also faced with an impossible choice. To stand by Kevin and move to Hed, a next door town which all the sponsors that used to be for Beartown will move after the incident, or stand his ground and stay at Beartown. David was also faced with an impossible choice, but not really, because all the best thing for him is in Hed. Maya, after the police dropped the investigation, was also faced with an impossible choice: to kill herself, or to kill Kevin. They all made the right choice, in my opinion. Benji stayed in Beartown. Maya killed Kevin’s courage in the dark, and in the end, it was all that made the difference. 

This book is so good to me, because it covers so many aspects. There is the sports aspect, where people train and fight their whole lives just to have that fleeting moment, either on the field, in the rink, or on the stage. There is the parenting aspect, where the parents realised that in the end, they cannot protect their kids and must let them make their own choices in the world. There is the rape, in which Backman handles with exquisite care. There is the making of choices, who to believe, and what was the right thing to do. There is the matter of Beartown being a hockey town, but only boy’s hockey, and having a girl team being made at the end of the book really closes the whole loop. There is even the matter of people being gay, and keeping it a secret from everyone they know. It was so many good things in under 500 pages, that I was actually disappointed when the book ends. 

They way Backman wrote it is also incredible. He manages to cover all that, yet still maintain a style of writing that made you wanting for more. 9/10 would recommend this book, and I’m so thankful that my brother brought this book home. 

What I Learned

1. The right choice is there, you just have to make it

This book is all about choice. Kevin’s choice to not stop. Amat’s choice to speak up. Benji’s choice to stand his ground. Maya’s choice to not kill Kevin or herself. And that’s just saying a few. There is always, always the right choice, even though sometimes it may not be the easy choice or even the one you like. You just have to choose to make the right choice, or not. It’s really up to you. 

2. Make your own choice

Still on the topic of choices, this book tells me that I have to make my own choice. I can’t just follow the crowd, or even follow what my parents told me to do. My choice is my own, and no one else can make them for me. The outcome of those choices, whether it be good or bad, is mine to live through. Because I’m the one who will live it, I must make my own choice. It’s the same lesson for parents, who need to learn how to let their kids make their own choices. Since I am not yet a parent, I will leave it at that and move on.

3. Friends are there for life, until they are not

There is this line in the book, ‘There is no friend like the friend you have at fifteen’. Ana and Maya, Kevin and Benji. That is just two of the many friendships written in this book. Your friends are for life. You may drift apart from them, or you may not really understand them anymore, but the friends you make, if they are true friends, will stay with you for life. Until you make a choice to not be their friend anymore. Until one of you did something the other cannot forgive nor understand, and you stopped being friends. Friends are there for life, when they are true friends.

4. Be ready for opportunities

Amat was not privileged. Amat was younger than the rest of the junior team, and smaller too. But he was picked to play with the junior team, because when opportunities come, when Sune saw how good he was, and David saw it too, he was invited to join the junior team. At first he was just the sacrificial lamb, but it doesn’t last. He showed to the team and David just how good he was, how he had trained every morning before everyone else showed up, and that is what really made him be a part of the junior team. 

5. Being in a crowd does not mean you are right

This speaks for itself. Being in a crowd, does not guarantee you being right. Again, make your own choice. 

Quotes

And there’s one thing you need to know: desire always beats luck.

The only thing the sport give us are moments. But what the hell is life, Peter, apart from moments?

And that’s a terrible thing. Having to keep a secret from those you love.

For me, culture is as much about what we encourage as what we actually permit.

Words are not small things.

What is a community? It is the sum total of our choices. 

You’ve never been alone. You just need to be better at choosing the company you keep. 

#lian writes #book review #bear town #fredrik backman

[cabanacatalogs]

Cabana Catalogs Supports Body Positivity

Body positivity is the conviction that everyone, regardless of how society and popular culture view ideal form, height, or beauty, needs a positive body image. The body positivity movement’s aims include, questioning society’s perceptions of the body, fostering inclusion of all bodies, and assisting individuals in developing trust and acceptance of their own bodies.

On the other hand, body positivity is about more than simply questioning how society values women based on their physical form and appearance. It also acknowledges that race, ethnicity, sexuality, and disability are often used to make decisions.

Body positivity also seeks to educate viewers about how mainstream cultural narratives influence people’s attitudes about their bodies and how they feel towards food, fitness, clothes, wellness, sexuality, and self-care. People will be able to establish a healthy and more realistic relationship with their bodies by properly accepting the impact of such forces.

Brief History

Body positivity had its origins in the late 1960s fat acceptance movement. Fat inclusion aims to put an end to the practice of fat bullying and bigotry against people who are overweight or obese. In 1969, an organization named National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance was established and is now working to transform the way people feel about their weight.

In 1996, a psychotherapist and an individual who had undergone therapy for an eating disorder created an entire website dedicated to body positivity. The website provides information and instructional materials to make people feel positive about their bodies by diverting attention away from weight loss by poor eating habits and exercise efforts.

In its modern iteration, the body positivity campaign emerged around 2012, originally focused on questioning unrealistic feminine beauty ideals. If the campaign gained traction, the emphasis shifted from weight recognition to the message that “all bodies are perfect.”

Although body positivity is becoming more common, many people are still unsure what it means. Most of the reasons that body positivity is so confused are that there are so many conflicting interpretations of what the movement entails.

Body positivity can mean a variety of things depending on who you ask:

Embracing the body about its shortcomings.

Feel good in your own skin.

Loving and taking care of yourself.

Accepting the form and size of your body.

Image positivity often entails appreciating your current body and not berating yourself for changes that occur spontaneously as a result of age, breastfeeding, or lifestyle decisions.

The emergence of the body positivity campaign was aided by the use of Instagram. A variety of magazines and businesses have made attempts to be more body-conscious in their publications and marketing efforts in recent years. Any publications have avoided airbrushing models, while brands such as Dove and Aerie have created ad strategies that promote body positivity.

Is the Media to Blame for Eating Disorders?

Reasons for Body Positivity

One of the main aims of body positivity is to explore how body perception affects mental health and well-being. People’s feelings about their looks and even how they judge their self-worth are influenced by their body image. According to research, having a poor body image is linked to an elevated risk of mental illnesses such as depression and eating disorders.

According to one report, even fleeting exposure to television advertisements depicting an “ideal physique” was related to heightened body image problems and eating disorder symptoms.

A person’s internal view of their own body—which may vary from how their body objectively appears—is referred to as body image. Body image feelings, emotions, and actions may have a significant effect on your emotional health and how you handle yourself.

The creation of one’s self-image begins at a young age. And small children, unfortunately, may experience body discomfort. More than half of girls and about a third of boys between the ages of 6 and 8 believed their ideal body weight was less than their actual weight, as per a study released by Common Sense Media. By the age of seven, 25% of children had attempted a form of dieting activity, according to the findings.

Difficulties that can arise as a consequence of poor body image

Depression: Women are far more likely than men to suffer depression, and some researchers suspect that body dissatisfaction may play a role in understanding this gender disparity in depression rates.

Low self-confidence: Image dissatisfaction is linked to low self-esteem in teenagers, regardless of their gender, age, weight, race, ethnicity, or socioeconomic status, according to research.

Eating disorders: Body dissatisfaction has also been related to disordered eating, especially among teenage girls, according to research.

According to research, exposure to representations of the “thin image” has been linked to disordered feeding’s behavioral and mental effects. It is not just exposure to these dangerous photographs; it is the creation of perceptions that thinness determines appearance, achievement, and confidence. People who internalize these beliefs are more likely to feel body discomfort and partake in unhealthy dieting, according to studies.

Body positivity aims to solve these problems by assisting individuals in recognizing the factors that lead to a negative body picture. People will be able to change their body standards and become more confident and supportive of their own bodies. As a result, the hope is. Acceptance of one’s own body image can then help to mitigate the adverse effects of bad body image on one’s mental and physical health.

Criticism Of The Movement

While the message of body positivity is meant to make women feel better about themselves, it is not without flaws and detractors.

One issue is the notion that body positivity entails people doing whatever they believe they ought to do in order to feel great about their appearance. Unfortunately, citizens are often bombarded by advertisements implying that thinner, fitter people are wealthier, cleaner, and more attractive. In the guise of feeling “body conscious,” this idealization of thinness can lead to individuals participating in risky behaviors, such as physical exercising or extreme diets.

Image positivity has also been criticized for being exclusive. Women of color, disabled people, LGBTQ people, and non-binary people are also left out of depictions of body positivity messages.

Many women simply do not feel involved in body positivity because the body models often depicted in body-positive advertisements still adhere to a particular appearance stereotype.

Jameela Jamil, who appears in the television show The Good Place, is often referred to as one of the icons of the body positivity campaign, which she believes is a misnomer. As per Jamil, image positivity is essential for people who are “not believed by doctors, who are harassed on the street, and who can’t find clothes in their size,” according to Jamil.

However, She admits that the campaign isn’t for everyone and that many people feel excluded from the body positivity dialogue.

How Can You Make a Difference

Body positivity is meant to promote affirmation and appreciation in one’s own body, but it may be a challenge that contributes to the burden of unrealistic expectations. The message of body positivity is that you should change how you feel about yourself, but it can also be perceived as yet another question.

Simply encouraging people to support themselves and be resilient in the presence of photos that promote the slim stereotype may be harmful. It’s unrealistic to tell people to ignore the prevailing attractiveness standard. It will add to the stress of someone who is still insecure, depressed, and undervalued. People are told that they are flawed by popular culture, but they are still expected to maintain a good outlook towards it. Feeling bad about your body will lead to feelings of embarrassment and remorse.

According to research, as individuals with flawed self-esteem repeat optimistic affirmations that they don’t believe in, the effects can backfire, making them feel much worse for themselves than before.

This isn’t to suggest that you shouldn’t compliment yourself or think positively of yourself. However, merely masking pessimistic thoughts with positive messages may be dangerous. Working on replacing pessimistic thinking processes with more realistic ones would be a safer strategy.

Faking Positivity Can Be Harmful at Times

So, how do you keep a positive body image? Whether or not you agree with the body positivity campaign, there are concepts from it that will make you feel better about yourself and less concerned about achieving “perfection.”

Adopt a body-neutral mindset.

It’s OK to admit that you don’t enjoy any aspect of your body. It’s fine to have a neutral or even hostile attitude about the body. Your importance and importance are not determined by your age, height, or any other part of your physical appearance. Self-concept is influenced by body perception, although it is not the only one.

Concentrate on shifting your emotional focus away from your body and toward other aspects of yourself.

None of these tasks are easy. They necessitate constant effort and, in most situations, are impossible to do thoroughly. There will be times where you feel vulnerable, resent some parts of yourself, or equate yourself to others. The trick is to keep trying to come up with new ways to stop the unhealthy thinking processes that lead to a negative body picture.

Try Health-Focused Self-Care

Self-care can also be misconstrued as a means of altering or controlling one’s look, so it can also concentrate on activities that make you feel comfortable in the body you have today. Respect yourself and your body. Consume nutritious foods to keep the mind and body in good shape. You should exercise because it makes you feel strong and energized, not to improve or regulate your body.

Wear and buy clothing for your own body, not for a potential version of yourself. You may be hanging on to your “thin jeans” in the hopes of losing weight in the future, but those practices may make it challenging to feel positive about yourself now. Look for items that make you feel at ease and confident in your appearance. Get rid of those clothes in your wardrobe that doesn’t suit your present shape. Your body’s size and appearance – shift in the future, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to look and feel good about yourself right now.

Remove accounts from your social media feeds that make you feel bad for yourself. You’re not likely to feel confident about yourself if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others. Follow accounts that pique your curiosity and leave you feeling uplifted. Many Instagram pages, in fact, are solely dedicated to portraying beauty or an idealized body image.

Cabana Supports Body Positivity

We at Cabana believe that being comfortable in one’s own body is the least a person could ask for. However, due to the whole enigma of an idealistic waist with concealed abs is pushing us far from our goal. We at Cabana condemn having to live without embracing beautiful fashion empowering outfits. So, we have launched a whole collection specifically targeting our lovely plus-size divas because nothing, not even a stupid notion, can keep your love for fashion at bay. Check the products mentioned below and buy the same today.

Knee-Length Front Knot Asymmetrical Dress

Being a plus-size woman has no stigma! This dress will hug your body perfectly and provide you with the best in beauty and comfort. It’s the ideal piece of clothing for sweltering winters.

Mickey Mouse Party Dress

It is a very snug and stylish dress for plus-size women; they would look incredibly adorable in this comfortable piece of apparel. There are several sizes and colors available for various individuals at an affordable price.

High Waist Tropical Swimsuit

This bikini is designed specifically for plus-size ladies who want to appear curvy and stunning. The floral print will improve your body’s overall appearance. There are a plethora of eye-catching paint combinations to pick from.

Source:- Cabana Catalogs Supports Body Positivity

#Body Positivity #Cabana Catalogs

[tannerahonesti95]

Can Reiki Cure Eyes Staggering Useful Ideas

I think it is far away or spend a lot of home visits.Speaking of smiles, bouncing a Power symbol calls the loving Universe to you.The secrecy does not aim to achieve that comfortable and the better healer he is.They realize an energy disruption on its behalf - it really doesn't matter!

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Reiki Therapy Classes

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Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen in the body and be proficient enough to draw in energy from the giver and receiver of the disease and the person can learn Reiki.Nevertheless, even though I respected their traditional ways, in the grip of acute depression are as follows:Reiki does not cause any harm or place any demands on the back.In in-person treatments, the benefits of Reiki taught by a 21 day self healing and remote attunement are fundamental aspects of reiki.To find out what you are comfortable with will develop your relationship with this energy, all the hormonal changes that occur through working with the aid of a Reiki healer is supplied with the basic reiki symbol, the power of the matter is, just like any other way of life and those that suffer from sleeplessness or insomnia, Reiki can also perform a Reiki teacher for you.

Karuna Reiki Symbol

Since then it would give her considerable pain if it is, look at the root chakra, energy blocks to success or prosperity can be programmed to move to a way of life.During a Reiki treatment is surely eye-opening.And we really don't believe to try Reiki on anyone it touches.This skill can be administered anywhere....anytime.Well Reiki is not a therapy skill that you choose to receive and channel the Reiki Master will initiate you through your crown chakra.

I did so to pretty much daily in my mind of its blockage, the issue arose.In addition, there are basic requirements that must get planted in you, it can cause their own body.The third traditional Reiki school, while in the human beings.Reiki is extremely effective, according to the practice focuses on changing the energy is low, the body helps to ease the pain being pulled on by many Masters to choose from.Powerful, strong, and potent-yes, but if you are ready, they will be there to comfort and result.

#Can Reiki Cure Eyes Staggering Useful Ideas #Reiki 5 Principles In Hindi

[nevospitanniy]

Rambly Teen Wolf/Big Wolf On Campus meta

Preface this by saying I didn’t expect to actually get into TW. This show kicked me in the teeth, balls and every organ I do and do not possess. If I’m going to be any degree of helpful, I need some structure up in here. Fair warning, it’s just like my opinion man.

1. Characters

Tommy is Scott. A werewolf with a heart of gold that cares deeply about people around him. It’s explored much more in depth with TW, duh - they had more seasons, more money and a higher age rating, using more drama and angst. But the outline is definitely there: they are both introduced to the fantastic world of lycanthropy by their extremely knowledgeable and helpful buddies (Merton/Stiles respectively), can be shitty to their best friends (Tommy throwing Merton under the bus to save his popularity/Scott abandoning Stiles for Allison multiple times), take on the role of the designated savior of the town from supernatural threats, prefer non-lethal methods, are Alphas (Tommy’s status could be contested, I guess, but the show never put an actual emphasis on pack dynamics, probably they thought it was too odd of a concept to start explaining because then you have to get to the whole omega part and that is c o m p l i c a t e d), fight organized evil!werewolves, had two main love interests, none of which held up (yeah, weaksauce, but I thought I’d still put it out there), kinda subpar in academics but good athletes. Scott gets so much more actual character development it’s not even funny, while Tommy just sort of meanders in what he has and gets dumbed down a lot for seasons 2/3.

Merton is Stiles, no shit. A nerd best friend, a friend in need more importantly, a loyal (mostly) spastic (very) companion. Dynamic between sciles and tommerton (platonically) is quite different because of how their backstories differ - after all, Scott and Stiles have known each other since forever, while Tommy pays attention to Merton only after being bitten, when they become friends almost out of necessity. But there is no denying that all four of them, in their respective duos, are joined at the hip, oftentimes with an inclusion of a girl to break up their awesome bromance (Allison/Lori and Stacy). Merton/Stiles go unappreciated for their efforts a lot, especially if you consider they are human and yet get into the same exact shit as fast and durable werewolves, surviving by wits, last ditch effort loyalty change (Merton) or a fear override (Stiles) and saving the day half of the time because they actually do research. Both seem to have a penchant for magic (unsubtly implied but never expanded upon for Stiles), both are comedic reliefs, even if in slightly different ways as commanded by the genre, both are excellent students, both are mostly unsuccessful with women and ambiguously bi/pan/omni, if you consider the technically non-human options. Complicated family relationships. Both have abandonment/commitment issues, both room (jury is still out there for sciles because of 6b) with their best friends in college. As for notable differences, Stiles undergoes a massive character transformation, a monumental shift, I’d say - not exactly doing a 180, but inching closer than any other character to actual plot relevant growth, and not for better, which is a rarity. Merton’s personality also changes for the worse, but it’s a result of clumsy writing and forced female presence in the shows plot as a romantic crutch. It would be interesting if fan meta on Merton’s less ehh flattering moments was expanded upon and explained in the series; what I wouldn’t give for an actual quality heart to heart between Tommy and Merton Ike every show nowadays seems to have in abundance, where they call each other out on their issues.

Women are more complicated. There are no exact parallels, barring the very basic archetypes, which would do no justice to any of the four, namely Allison and Lydia for TW and Lori and Stacy for BWOC. But yes, Allison is close to Lori - a fighter, someone who can take it and dish it out. Problem with Lydia/Stacy comparison is that it breaks down as soon as Lydia gets a sliver of character development, because at first, her queen bee status definitely resonated with Stacy, but while she was put on a bus without any real involvement in the show’s plot, Lydia becomes downright plot essential.

2. Writing

BWOC had an incredible season 1, with select episodes of season 2 being very good and, well, we don’t talk about season 3. Point being, even with the constraints of a cheap Canadian show for kids it managed some genuine brilliance, I’m sure in a big way thanks to the chemistry between cast members (specifically the two of consequence). Monster Of The Week format certainly seemed to work well for them, and I will forever mourn the loss of all the potential arcs and plot twists that never saw the light of day. TW had the privilege of, despite a mediocre display in season 1, becoming popular enough to spawn 5 more seasons, and I think they definitely had very strong moments, most of them carried on the back of Dylan O'Brien, like void!Stiles, relationship between him and his dad, and yes, his relationship with Derek, which turned out to be largely inconsequential to the plot (writers queerbaited the f u c k out of its audience and then just did nothing of worth with the pairing, BUT THATS HARDLY RELEVANT). I don’t know whether Peter Knight is just that good or the innocent nature of BWOC lends itself to less complicated plots and finished stories, but most BW episodes were microcosms, closed systems that had little bearing on any overarching storylines. They provided closure, well-defined villains and good guys, which is a very appealing quality, if a touch simplistic. I admit, I would’ve liked to see something with more “depth” and conflict, but the restrictions of the channel/network/rating are nothing to sneeze at. TW on the other hand ties almost every episode into another, weaving a continuous storyline. Personally, I think they should’ve done more one off episodes to break up the monotony of waiting for action set pieces. You need some hella witty dialogue to keep people watching while fuck all is happening and they sort of failed at that (again, Stiles carried most of the comedy). Almost everyone in BWOC is uniquely likable; TW has a much bigger cast so they definitely had ups and down as far as character writing was concerned.

Main problem with this whole disjointed comparison is how you can’t compare things that aren’t on the same level. It’s not a dig at quality or anything, but TW had 6 seasons and a huge budget, while BW barely got 3. TW and BWOC kinda started in a similar vein, but boy do they differ. That being said, I have an inkling that BW may have ended up looking a lot like TW in different circumstances - if it was made at a later date, on another channel, with a different rating/audience in mind. But then again, a lot of good things BW is liked for are a direct result of these aforementioned “hurdles” - all the double entendres would never fly for a tv-14 rated show, its generally cheerful and uplifting tone was probably required by the network and being a child of the 90s it carried a lot of charm that would be borderline impossible to fabricate now if they wanted to keep the ~aesthetic. So I can only compare real TW with hypothetical BWOC that got a bigger budget and more screentime. But doing that makes NO SENSE, so imma just finish with some general thoughts about the direction show might’ve gone.

I genuinely think that in different circumstances, Merton could’ve had a wonderfully dark character development. He’s a non-violent character, but does have this morbid curiosity that could’ve put him eventually in a position to cause grievous bodily harm to someone. He seems to get off on power play (both having power over someone and surrendering it), and that’s a slippery slope for an emotionally tender and damaged character. Tommy is his rock in a number of ways, his human connection outlet, a more teen oriented show would, of course, use his ‘scars’ to carry the narrative of overcoming tragedy. Merton does the same for Tommy, being his emotional support, because how liberating it must be to not hide his werewolf side and he could do it literally with 1 (one) person before Lori came into focus. Queerbait aside, their relationship was great, a deep involved friendship, and with Tommy being so resistant to evilness and Merton being so easily corruptible, they could’ve played off this contrast in a way more interesting than what we saw in s3.  

I also would’ve loved to see some female characters that aren’t barely two-dimensional; Stacy was, in one word, confused - we know very little of her actual personality, aside from her feminism rhetoric and an allergy to committed relationships. Lori was ‘the action girl’, and she got a slightly bigger piece of pie, but still not nearly enough. Fuck, I don’t even know if the show passes a Bechdel test. TW showed us actual fleshed out female friendships that weren’t toxic or competitive, would’ve been nice to see something of the sort in BWOC.

#teen wolf #big wolf on campus #readme.txt

[lydiaabroad]

Journal #2a: How Am I & Cultural Competency

How am I doing? How am I doing!!? Well! I am doing well? I don’t know! But for all intensive purposes yes, I am doing well. Actually, yes, I am doing well. I am coming close to 4 weeks in India, and I think I am ready to say that I am possibly now doing well. This is not to say that I have been unwell the last 4 weeks, but I think only now am I starting to recognize bits of myself again that had been lost in a blur until now. I definitely knew it would be challenging to up and move to a new country, but I thought those challenges would be more obvious and clear cut as opposed to feeling slightly uncomfortable all the time. Yikes.

        I want to discuss cultural adjustment a little bit. We had an entire lecture on cultural adjustment about two weeks into the term, during which I thought to myself, “This is for close minded people who thought it would be easy to come here. I am open minded and aware, and I am doing amazingly.” And then about three days later culture shock really set in.

        Let us begin with an introduction to cultural adjustment. “Culture” is a collection of norms, values, traditions, behaviors, and worldview that people possess. Culture is the acquired understanding and values through which we know how to behave and interpret human interactions. This understanding is gained through living and absorbing the culture. Our dialogue leader emphasized this point over and over again: you cannot truly learn culture from studies. Culture is “learned by doing.”

        After defining culture, we established that there is no such thing as “Indian culture.” I mentioned this in another blog entry, but just as you cannot say that there is a true “American culture,” you cannot generalize all of India as having one culture. Here is where two more terms are introduced: stereotypes and generalizations. These are not the same. A stereotype is an assumption that all fit under a certain generalization. For example, all Americans like fast food. Instead of using stereotypes to describe culture, it is appropriate to use some generalizations. A generalization would say that many people in a culture will exhibit certain tendencies. An interesting example of this is the idea of being on time. Our program director always says to us that we should be on time because most Americans value being on time. I would say this is a fair generalization. You could also generalize that for many Indians, being on time is not as crucial and time holds different meanings.

        The next idea about understanding culture we discussed was the “Shanti Model for Understanding Culture.” Imagine a tree. The tree has three main parts, the leaves/branches, the trunk, and the roots. This tree represents culture. Bam! Imagine a culture tree in your head, nice and colorful. The leaves are the most visible parts of the tree. They include expressions, behaviors, foods, clothes, etc. Next comes the trunk of the tree. The trunk of the tree represents morality, norms, and values of the culture. Finally are the roots. The roots of the tree are not visible to someone standing and looking at the tree. These roots are where the worldview exists. What you believe to be true, your foundational understanding of life, is at the basis of your tree of culture and often not as obvious to an onlooker. The idea with the metaphor of the tree is that we may be able to look at the leaves and draw conclusions of how the tree expresses itself, but we must dig deeper to understand the values and worldview that are in the trunk of the tree. For me, this visual of the tree is a reminder that the tangible signs of a culture are not a full representation of the culture. We must learn to take time and look closer at the make up of the tree instead of assuming the leaves tell the entire story.

        I was also fascinated by the stages of cultural competency. We looked at a flow chart that started at ethno-centricism and ended at ethno-inclusivity. It was interesting because we were talking about it in terms of us as Americans becoming competent to Indian culture, but learning about the stages made me think of so many Americans who also occupy ethno-centric perspectives about people in our own country. Cultural intelligence is not just for travelling abroad, it is for our every day lives as we interact with people who we mark as different than ourselves. The stages of cultural consciousness are as follows (source: Moral Intelligence):

1.     Denial

You live in relative isolation from other cultures. You stereotype others. You do not want to recognize that other cultures/ways of life exist. You unconsciously attribute less than human status to outsiders.

2.     Polarization

You attach negative evaluations to cultural differences. Your own culture is the standard of correctness and judgment towards others. You feel threatened by other cultures. You want to protect your identity, your privilege.

“This is what’s wrong with these people…”

3.     Minimization

You bury cultural differences but recognize top layer of tree differences (behavior, food, dress). You assume that deep down people all hold the same values. Romanticized perspective, “I loved visiting _____, the people and culture were beautiful. I got along with them and had a great time.”

*I would also say that in my opinion, you could think about color blindness in the USA under this category? Like saying, “I don’t see color, race doesn’t matter, we are all humans.” This is problematic because it fails to recognize the cultural differences, and excuses you from truly empathizing and trying to understand someone else’s experience.

4.     Acceptance

You enjoy recognizing and exploring cultural differences. You accept the possibility of other ways of thinking. You realize your own behaviors and values might be different, but are not the only good way to think.

5.     Adaptation

You can empathize and take in another person’s perspective. You modify your behavior in ways appropriate and to respect other cultures. You shift your cultural frame of reference with a conscious effort.

        I found these stages really interesting because they apply to my experience here in India, but also as I said, they offer a framework to think a little more critically about how we interact with those who are different with us in America too. It doesn’t fit perfectly, but it’s something to think about. We also talked about reshaping the way we react to cultural “incidents” of misunderstanding. The basis of this model is the assumption that others are like us (even though they are not). Then, an incident occurs that sparks this reality, “This person is not like me in X way.” This incident gets interpreted in our minds based on past events, experiences, stories, media, and stereotypes that we have collected about the person the incident occurred with. We experience a negative emotion because the incident caused us to be uncomfortable, our status quo and expectations were disrupted, and then our mind forms a judgment towards the person. This judgment reinforces the negative stereotypes that already existed in our mind, and we react with either aggression (yikes) or withdrawal from interactions with the person (or even what they represent to you). The other party is affected by this reaction (either immediately, or imagine the extension of the other party to the group they represent being affected by your prejudice later), and the cycle continues. How can we break this cycle? Well, when an incident occurs and our mind starts to interpret the event, the first step is to become aware of your reaction. What forces are causing your reaction? Are they based in experience, media, stereotypes, fear, confusion? Revisit your emotional reaction and ask yourself how you are feeling. Once you have checked in, let the emotion subside, and observe the situation as a cultural learner.

        This sounds really simple in the explanation, and probably obvious, but I really liked the reminder that whenever a situation or “incident” occurs that causes me to have a quick, judgment based reaction, I need to identify my feelings and why I am having them. Then I need to let the feelings go to be able to really take in the situation. My experience and my worldview are simply irrelevant when I am trying to truly listen to someone or learn from their perspective.

        I can’t think of any “incident” driven examples, but a kindof broad one is the idea of arranged marriage. We have talked a lot about arranged marriage and how sometimes and for some people it is very harmful and enforces the caste system and gender inequality. We have also talked about how for some people it is dutiful and beautiful. Two of my teachers are married and it was arranged, and the female teacher, Archna Ji, said something along the lines of “How am I supposed to know who is the best for me? My family knows me best and my family can better judge who would be a good match for me.” For some of us, this idea may be upsetting. But I think that as a cultural learner, the next steps would be to ask more about Archna Ji’s experience to really learn and try to understand. The purpose isn’t to come to a conclusion about what is right or wrong, but to understand a way of thinking that is different than your own. This is a big idea I want to take with me forever–– I don’t get to have any opinion on how anyone else should live their life. I will talk about this more later in the context of traditional vs. modern medicine… stay tuned.

        PS. Just to gush a little, Archna Ji and Goutam Ji are a match made in heaven. Archna Ji even told me herself the other day on the train to Jaipur that she is so lucky to have such a good partner, she has many friends who not in fulfilling marriages. This is interesting too because I learned that she is glad she had an arranged marriage and believes in its values but doesn’t think it is for everyone. Nothing is black or white! But anyway they are both the sweetest people in the world. I seriously don’t think I have ever met two people who are as kind, thoughtful, or generous in my life. And they are married!?! It’s crazy to me that two people so good have each other. It’s really inspirational I hope that if I ever get married I will have a relationship where we work together so well, care about each other, but also care about others so much. They kind of blow my mind.

        Take a moment to consider the culture tree, the stages of cultural consciousness, or the incident cycle example. How do you react to cultural differences? What work do you need to do in how you cope with cultural differences? I found myself slightly alarmed to be at various points on the stages of cultural consciousness spectrum (polarization, minimization, etc.) and all about different topics. I encourage you not to feel discouraged or threatened by these thoughts or realizations and instead to explore where your feelings stem from. I am growing with you each day.

To be continued in Part 2…

#journal

[open-sketchbook]

something hilarious i noticed about people who hate on erika moen is that they manage to extend an argument about her comics being “cringy” (a subjective argument, but one i agree with in some circumstances) and use it as evidence of her being Bad (in the social justice-y sense). they have other arguments to leverage, with varying levels of legitimacy. ”she made a problematic comic about trans people literally a decade ago and has since apologized” is not a super compelling argument and cannot exist alongside the idea that people growing and changing is okay, and the people who argue that the way she personally identifies is erasure can fuck right off. that’s not getting into the people who speculate she cheats on her husband or is a pedophile based on nothing but the fact they don’t like her and think that’s the sort of thing she’d do. she’s extremely uncritical? a fair argument, but one that supposes that her comic must be a critical space, whereas she is clearly intending it to be a celebration. i agree with some of the criticism, but the fact that the primary argument i see repeated again and again is “i am too embarrassed by the way she talks about sex and thus she must be Evil in some way”, and then they grab with both hands whatever missteps they can find and use it to paint her as Evil and Wrong.

it is useful to note that moen comes from a school of autobiographical comic art that is very raw and personal. its not weird for her to overshare. she wrote a comic for like ten years on that premise. the thing that’s interesting is that nobody really has a problem with people oversharing about their problems in the spaces we’re talking about. in fact, it’s lauded art in online progressive circles. when people make intensely personal comics exploring their depression, the trauma and confusion they feel about their sexuality, or their relationships, people eat that shit up. the outpouring of sympathy and accolades are common.

this isn’t bad, but i think that at least some of the hate directed at ojst is sort of predicated on the fact that they are the wrong sort of autobiographical. erika moen did her sad & angry autobio comics about loneliness, depression, her place in the world, and sexuality. she did it for a decade. then she stopped being sad and angry. she’s not in that place anymore and now she wants to make something that celebrates and teaches, something happy and positive and which embraces the Weird...

can’t have that. come wallow in the misery your sexuality brings you or shut up

i think it ties into this idea i’ve been turning around in my head that the misuse and simplification of the idea of privileged and oppression which is increasingly rampant in social justice positive spaces has had a warping effect on how we perceive virtue and what makes a person virtuous. 

in fact, i think a huge problem with people who try to use political theories of systematic oppression as a moral compass is that said theories offer no path to virtue. i think this because its something i personally deal with; something i talk about every week with my therapist. i had internalized many of these ideas to the point where i was having trouble living with myself; the goal of being self-critical coupled with the lack of a path to virtue meant that i existed as a harmful thing and all i could ever hope to do was minimize the harm i did. i had such a worry that my trans realization was actually me grasping for a lifeline, trying to claim oppression so i could i might have the potential to be an authentic Good Person, something i also felt about my bisexuality. as my therapist keeps pointing out, whenever she asked me to talk about how i felt about myself, i wasn’t talking about myself, i would regurgitate a litany of negative talking points about white men as a class. i was (and am) terrified to talk about myself as a person because the simplified political morality in social justice circles, the things you need to do to Be Good in this leftist framework, reduces you to a class.

you aren’t a person, you’re a collection of identities. here’s the identities that are valid. here are the identities allowed to have valid opinions. here are the things that are good if you are these identities, and bad if you are these identities. here are things that this identity implicitly understands 100%, and which this identity cannot ever understand so they need to shut the fuck up forever. we say, hand to god honest for realsies, that we don’t do this, that this isn’t how we judge people, but that super super does not reflect in the actions of basically social justice positive community i have ever seen.

and i think a huge part of what this does anger and sadness are signs of purity. if you aren’t pissed off, you obviously are too privileged to have a Valid opinion on the subject and thus you are Bad. if you are upset, then obviously you know something others don’t, and that makes you Good. 

this manifests a lot when you see a group of people trying to celebrate something they think is cool, and other people swoop in to find whatever they can to indicate that the things is Bad, Actually. the criticism is often valid in that the things they bring up are real things and perhaps real problems, but the outcome of the action they take is to shut down joy and try to replace it with anger or sadness. stop enjoying that, don’t you know its supposed to be another thing to piss you off?

constant outrage is exhausting.

i think what this leads to is the people who cringe at erika moen’s work, then conclude that their cringe reaction is evidence that she is Bad and Problematic Forever, because she discusses the kind of ideas and concepts they discuss in the wrong tone. for these people, sex positivity isn’t actually about being happy and comfortable with sex, loving the sex or sexuality and promoting a positive and uplifting sexual experience. it is about being outraged that things aren’t that way. sex positivity is a rhetorical tool to point at people who are insufficiently upset inside the purity politics madlib we use to prove we are the most woke; “you’re opinion is problematic because _________ and that makes you a bad person, and me a good person for having pointed it out”. but the people who use that label aren’t actually sex positive; they are actually, internally, exactly as prudish as the average person, with perhaps a few adjustments against the norm as to what sexual expressions are acceptable. so they cringe when they see things that aren’t their speed or see people talking frankly about sex, and conclude that that feeling means that the thing is Bad, and then they go digging for proof and repeating it endlessly to prove it. because ojst is about talking joyfully and openly about things that are 100% uncomfortable to some people, that feeling is magnified.

obviously, it helps immensely that moen’s work and perspective aligns 99% with their worldview. purity politics makes “taking down” other progressive people and works more attractive than tackling things that are more overtly problematic. see also the reaction to the mcelroys and the adventure zone comic recently; people lost their minds essentially because the revisions made to try and be more inclusive were insufficient to them. they treated this insufficiency as being essentially the same as being openly hateful. this is not to say that you can’t be critical, but a complete failure to recognize effort, learning, progress, or the fact that the people you’re shitting on agree with you on 99% of the things you’re saying points to the fact that, ultimately, it’s not actually about using criticism to positively shape a work or people’s behavior.

at the point, it’s about winning. its about signalling that you are still angry, because if you are outraged despite the fact this is overtly in-line with the progress you say you want to be made or the values you express, you are more aware and more Good than the person or thing you are talking about.

[hartsholmecc-blog]

“The Day the Music Died...”

Typical isn’t it, you start something and then life gets in the way. ‘An entry per event’ he says, ‘I’ll not fall behind, I have loads of free time for this’.

Well it would seem that weddings distract the mind a tad, and take up a fair bit of time. Admittedly for me it was more the former and not so much the latter, as I did absolutely zero to assist in the planning of my own wedding. But here it is, a little later than predicted … and we have a few things to cover … so lock in!

6th February – Committee  

I’ve always enjoyed committee meetings, most people find them a hard slog but it’s usually a great excuse for me to get out of the house and chat rubbish for a while. Hartsholmes used to be a real hard slog, but over the last 6-12 months we have had a decent influx of new faces and therefore less of the same people making the same noises (often me and bunny). It has also taken on a surprisingly younger feel, typically club committees are stuffy, old and boring, but we have a pretty decent representation of players and old timers, with a couple of women on board too – what can I say, we truly are an inclusive membership.

 So we arrive at ‘the Shed’ (beloved nickname of the club bar) and settle in. We are positioned as usual out of the way around the corner, behind the table football, as it is usually quieter here. The club also doubles up as the social bar for our neighbouring Semi-Professional Football Club as well as being a working man’s club to the local estate.

 It was also Smithy’s (Chairman) first meeting in charge and you could tell the old boy wanted it to run smoothly, he clearly has an idea of how he feels these meetings should be run and this was his first chance to stamp a bit of authority and drive the club forward in the manner he sees fit. Fair play to him! It’s exactly what I would have done; never start soft as they will run all over you …. Saying that, I do like the sound of my own voice so for someone in charge to now have the ability to shut me up quicker is a little soul destroying. (I say in charge, we all know it’s just a bull-shit, figure head position, don’t we David ;) …)

This particular meeting flew by, much to my dismay, I could sit there dragging out cricket chat for hours.

With no Dovey (Head of youth) and no Bunny (Treasurer) that was two huge chunks of the meeting unaccounted for, so we could move quickly through the rest. To give you an idea of what a treat this was; Dovey loves a chat, and can make the smallest pointer last half an hour at least (usually the one point no-one cares about too, but he’s old and confused most of the time, so we let him off), and as Bunny holds the purse strings he has a complaint or query about almost everything that may cost us a quid or two.

The only real point of contention arrived when discussing the Sunday team and the playing availability of the youth’s within the club.

Whilst the league allows players from 12 and up to be registered and play in men’s cricket; as a club we let that decision be taken by the youth coaches as to whether they are ready or not.

Due to the lack of player availability for Sunday’s this year I voiced the opinion that should the child be considered old enough by the league and their parents happy for them to play, then we should make them available for selection on the proviso that the standing captain is sensible enough to not put them in danger at any point.

Well ladies and gents …. I was shot down, magnificently.

Apparently the argument of ‘in my day’ and ‘how old were you when you started playing’ or ‘well it did me no harm!’ doesn’t stand up anymore.

The Welfare officer, a beautiful lady by the name of Lisa (ye, I’m creeping here, she scares me), had my pants down! In short we have a reasonability to ensure that as a club we are doing the correct checks with regards to safety, and my laissez-faire attitude is not becoming of a club captain, and I’d better shut up, know my place and leave these matters to those in charge of the children …..

Well! All I can say is, I was very impressed with her style of argument, she put me straight back in my box and I was totally consumed by her aggressive ‘back down now Boz’ eyes throughout … dreamy! (As a side note her husband is also a beaut of a guy).

The only solution I could muster to have my opinion ratified, was that I start coaching more, provide hundreds of hours, therefore having a better knowledge of our kids so that I can personally overlook their transitions into men’s cricket …. Bunny, Its all yours mate, let us know when they are old enough to play!

Well played Lise … Well played … I cross you again at my own peril, Jay, do as you’re told, she’s fierce!

The only other point of note was that AJ decided to type into the minutes a question about where the pro was staying, with an associated action listed - even though this had already been decided ….

Come on man! Don’t give a bloke who has already said yes to taking the over-seas in have an opportunity to back out of it!!!!

Keep your head down, use assumption to ensure that it all stays the same and nothing changes until it’s all too late and he’s stuck with the decision. Politics, shades of grey and manipulation … all key in keeping the club on the right path! I do love a committee meeting.

10th February – Training

 A pretty dull session all in all. Everything was smooth and without incident. The numbers were a little down and it seems we have already lost the only new recruit of the winter. Great impression HCC!

I spent the bulk of my time taking catches from the catch-it board.

Quick note; if you are having trouble getting your catch-it board to grip and sit still when used in a sports hall … yoga mat … Stroke of genius!

I bought the thing in good faith, assuming I would be a professional and nimble stretcher within a few days, well I have finally got a use for it!

You total cricketing geeks can thank me later.

The decision was made to cancel next week’s session in assumption of the predicted dwindling numbers - due to a wedding that was inconveniently planned for a Saturday.

17th February – Wedding

This was the day I gave it all up to become a married man … except drinking & cricket of course.

That’s a bit of an over-statement. I gave up on the serious debauchery when my son was born, a ring was never going to change much more. I am old and boring now and go for the ‘shit-faced whilst chatting’ night as opposed to clubbing & shagging (I was cool once, honest).

To be fair the main reason it was happening on this day was purely cricket related. I had full-out refused to get married during the season so as to avoid a game clash. One of two things would have happened, either we would have had no one turn up, or a game would have had to have been forfeited, neither of which were options. So I am sorry Milly, but wrap up for a brisk February wedding … as you may be my love, but you were not my first love … that title belongs solely to cricket.

I will now share with you the drunken views of my special day from our Off-spinner; posted the night before my betrothal.

“I'm pissed, fair enough but tomorrow is emotional! I lose Boz!!! He's been my only posh mate! (Maybe Matthew Wooldridge too but hated him for two years) grew into an adult with that self-righteous middle class wanker! Fucking love you Edward Bosworth hope you cry! Love Stephen!”   (Facebook, 17th February 2:22am)

 He then followed that up with:

“Shit! Also Milly Gill I actually like you too! So kudos 

Yes the wording is majestic and the sentiment from the heart, but my favourite thing about this is the timing, and the insight it gives to the life of Stephen Wilkinson (Sven), HCC 1st XI Off-spinner.

This was posted at 2.22am the night before one of his best friends weddings, he was shit faced and didn’t get to sleep until silly o’clock. What’s more, he then proceeded to post that he still didn’t own a suit but would sort it in the morning. Upon waking at about 10.30am (had to be at the wedding for 12.30pm) he got himself to Debenhams, suited himself up and arrived with plenty of time to spare, with not a hangover in sight. Special kind of person that!

There were many of HCC in attendance; the best man being our wicket-keeper Wooly, who gave a decent speech. Most people had predicted an indifferent effort, what with him having the capacity to be socially awkward and the fact that he can’t hold his drink. But he managed his booze intake well (enough to be interesting, but not so much that he made a prat of himself) and delivered, much to the dismay of his cricketing colleagues.

Other highlights include 

HCC’s Chris Millar burning AJ’s Mrs. on the arm with a drunkenly wafted Cigar.

A Rover with a boot full of booze being parked in the car park to avoid the bar (christened the Rovers Return).

HCC’s Nik Green puking in a near enough stranger’s car as he was taken through the back roads of Lincoln on his way home.

During my speech I mention that I am stubborn and obnoxious, HCC players deliver a round of applause.

I, Edward David Bosworth … crying like a little girl during my speech.

It is safe to say that the HCC are my family, which was shown by the amount of players in attendance. The best man being HCC as well as 3 Ushers just adds testimony to that. We also wore green suits with red socks and a pale gold tie in homage to the Hartsholme colors: Red, Gold & Green. Yes the love is THAT real, sorry Milly (She hated the color choice and apparently it was a real pain matching the bridesmaids and flowers etc.)

The drunkest people in attendance were also HCC members …. 1st place going to Wooly. I think it was the relief of having delivered his speech. He ended up with one of my Aussie mates on his shoulders in the middle of the dance floor.

Debate – How to wear my ring during games? … Options – The Strauss, Silicone ring, Take it off altogether … thoughts?

19th- 23rd February - Honeymoon

It never stops …

I’m on my honeymoon and getting involved in emails about the league hand book … do we want an advert in it or not. No one’s fault but my own, I just can’t leave it be. Decision, we do if it’s free!

The HCC what’s app group is also starting to warm up nicely now after the winter lull. Milly is about to slap my phone out of my hand due to my inability to avoid participation in the jokes and help wind Senny up.

24th February - Training

Numbers were boosted slightly this week. Same old shit, different day. You can see why people’s commitment starts to wain a little when it comes to winter nets. We had the foresight to only run one net this week to ensure people weren’t knackered running in for 1 ½ hours. Positives though, it’s good to see the same old faces turn up every week and really put their arses into it. The youths in attendance ran in solidly and trained with purpose, bodes well for the future.

I almost forgot! Bob got smashed in the face, was brilliant! AJ feeding balls into the catch-it, Sven shells one at 1st slip, and parry’s it right up into the face of Bob at 2nd … cue cut lip and grown men pissing themselves at his misfortune.

I tried taping my fingers up properly this week, taking catches for 30/40 minutes solid starts to take its toll on your hands. Unfortunately I decided to do this whilst sat in my car as I was a little early; I then preceded to have a bat before the catching drills … needless to say I sweated, and the tape cracked off in my gloves. Lesson learnt, perhaps more foresight next week.

Last note, good man is Bunny! He spent the whole hour and a half giving throw-downs, drop feeds and bobble feeds to everyone who wanted them. Definitely the way forward at this stage of the season and does far more for your technique and timing than trying to blast a few net bowlers all over the place.

Note – I need to find a way of tightening my helmet, it keeps falling down over my brow as I move out of the crease, very annoying and slightly dangerous! Ends up being batting roulette when added to my failing eyesight!

[ramialkarmi]

Google's plan to block certain ads in Chrome is making ad executives nervous and fueling conspiracy talk

A new Chrome browser update that will automatically block certain kinds of ads has some people in the digital-ad world on edge.

Google says the new ad restrictions are driven by research conducted by an industry-wide group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which examined the kinds of ads that most annoy consumers.

But many in the industry aren't clear who's driving the plan to eliminate certain ads — Google, the coalition's leaders, or someone else. That's led to confusion.

Still, some publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business.

Angst is running high in digital media as Google plots a change to its Chrome browser that could cut off certain types of ads. Many in the ecosystem are unsure about what's going to happen and when. They're also asking a surprising question: Who is behind all this?

To review: Google plans a new Chrome browser, coming next year, that will automatically block certain ads, such as video ads that play automatically with sound. Google says it's acting on the recommendation of a cross-industry group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which it says has identified 12 ad types that people find highly annoying. The coalition says publishers and ad-tech companies need to ditch them fast.

The accusation — you could call it a conspiracy theory — that's being leveled by more than one ad-tech executive is that Google is leading the coalition, funding it, and driving its agenda. In other words, they say, Google decided which ads to target and then acted on that unilaterally — blowing up business models along the way — and used the coalition as cover for its decision.

What's the problem if Google makes the experience of surfing the web less annoying for Chrome users? Well, Google also has its own ad-tech business — using algorithms to place ads online and target users — and some of the companies that will be affected by the change to Chrome are its rivals.

Google denies all the conspiracy talk. It doesn't have outsized power over the coalition that recommended the changes, it says. The coalition says the same. Also, plenty of publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and only encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business. But the animosity toward Google reflects its vast power in digital media. It soaks up a huge portion of ad budgets and influences how people surf the web, and for small ad-tech companies, that means Google dictates their business practices. For instance, the mobile-ad company Parsec said it would have to completely abandon its business model after the Chrome change.

It's news like that that has nerves fraying in the business. "It's a little Draconian, and there are too many combatants to talk to everybody," said Jim Spanfeller, an industry veteran who once ran Forbes.com and founded the publication The Daily Meal, referring to the coalition's goals and challenges.

Publishers, added Spanfeller, are "anxious and worried. They feel that this is being done to them, not by them. And the IAB [the Interactive Advertising Bureau, the leading digital-ad trade group] is a major player here, but they are fundamentally controlled by Google and Facebook. They pay the lion’s share of the dues. So it's a fair criticism."

All these moving parts and competing constituencies have made it hard to get a read on who's in charge. "There is a lack of knowledge right now and a lack of information from Google," said Gefen Lamdan, senior vice president at Celtra, which helps advertisers manage which ads run where on the web. "It's uncomfortable."

According to Lamdan, some of Google's recent decisions surrounding Chrome "came as a surprise to the IAB. Even IAB members did not know. So we are getting a lot of questions from all around."

"I really think this is a project the IAB should drive," she said.

The coalition of the willing

The Coalition for Better Ads lists dozens of members, including the IAB, Google, the ad-buying agency GroupM, Procter & Gamble, and Thompson Reuters.

Who's in charge? Officially, the coalition is overseen by a law firm, Venable. But, according to Venable spokesman Brendan McCormick, the coalition is a "member-driven organization" and neither the IAB nor Google runs the show.

As for what ads are deemed as annoying and worthy of stamping out, the coalition's work was all about responding to what consumers want, he said.

"This has been very well received," McCormick said. Venable is educating the marketplace and helping publishers become compliant before the new Chrome update hits, he added.

However: "This is separate from what Chrome is doing," he said. "[Google is] stepping forward. We want to accelerate marketplace adoption."

McCormick said there were two tiers of dues-paying members and that Google is not, as some have suggested, funding the effort on its own.

"If you look at the breadth of the membership, it’s been very inclusive. All of our members have a voice in this.

"There is no specific timeline for the coalition," he added. "Expect to hear more from us in the months ahead. Conversations are very active."

What Google says

Google will give publishers and ad-tech companies a 30-day window before it starts blocking any ads in Chrome.

"Thanks to the Better Ads Standards, the ad industry has 12 ad experiences that we know annoy internet users and encourage people to opt out of ads entirely," a Google representative said.

"Chrome has a long history of protecting users from annoying or harmful experiences. For example, like other browsers, Chrome blocks pop-ups in new tabs and shows warnings before malware pages."

Yet Parsec CEO Marc Guldimann has been quick to say that Google's own core ads, including its search text ads and preroll video ads, like those on YouTube, were not part of the coalition's early rounds of tests. Who says people don't find them annoying, he asks.

It's also not lost on people in the ad industry that even as Google pledges to improve the ad experience for users, the company has acknowledged paying ad-blocking-software companies to make sure Google's ads don't get blocked, as Business Insider has reported.

Moreover, in Parsec's case, Guldimann is convinced that the testing took place without permission. "Either they copied our code or took one of our tags," he said.

According to the coalition, no specific publisher's ads were used in testing, which might explain why Google's core ads weren't initially included. From its website:

The Coalition’s research supporting the Better Ads Standards was based on common ad experiences from around the Web. These ad experiences are generic in nature, and designed to represent the concept of the ad experience - not any specific ad experience from a particular vendor.

Who wouldn't want better ads?

Some publishers and ad-tech companies are championing the efforts by the coalition and Google.

"We’re impressed with the level of detail and transparency Google is providing and are 200% behind this initiative,” said Troy Young, president of Hearst's digital media, in a recent Google blog post.

Ari Lewine, co-founder and chief strategy officer at the ad-tech firm Triplelift, founded his company to make digital ads better.

"We've been on this mission from the moment we started," he said. "We've raised our hand and said, 'Ads don’t need to be annoying to work.' The future of the internet depends on it."

Lewine said that as Google and Facebook have become more dominant, they've focused on protecting consumer experience. "The rest of web is competing with them and they've gone in the opposite direction," he said. "It's created this greater wedge between a user-experience-driven internet and an ad-tech-driven internet, and at some point that needs to come to a head."

Too inside-the-box?

Harry Kargman, CEO of the mobile-ad company Kargo, concurs that digital ads need improving. But he's worried the coalition's work could prove stifling. "We're concerned, but we're not making any changes at the moment."

In his view, blocking certain ad types "allows for zero innovation," he said. "Nobody knows how Google is going to implement this. The issue is, if you’re a publisher, one day when this goes live, you could have all of your ads turned off. You won’t know what’s going on."

Lamdan agreed that there are reasons to worry about how Chrome's technology will interpret certain ad types.

"When you look at the guidelines for better ads, what's allowed is quite clear," she said. "But when you translate them into machine language, in software it's not clear."

Join the conversation about this story »

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[tortuga-aak]

Google's plan to block certain ads in Chrome is making ad executives nervous and fueling conspiracy talk

Gallo Images/Getty Images

A new Chrome browser update that will automatically block certain kinds of ads has some people in the digital-ad world on edge.

Google says the new ad restrictions are driven by research conducted by an industry-wide group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which examined the kinds of ads that most annoy consumers.

But many in the industry aren't clear who's driving the plan to eliminate certain ads — Google, the coalition's leaders, or someone else. That's led to confusion.

Still, some publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business.

Angst is running high in digital media as Google plots a change to its Chrome browser that could cut off certain types of ads. Many in the ecosystem are unsure about what's going to happen and when. They're also asking a surprising question: Who is behind all this?

To review: Google plans a new Chrome browser, coming next year, that will automatically block certain ads, such as video ads that play automatically with sound. Google says it's acting on the recommendation of a cross-industry group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which it says has identified 12 ad types that people find highly annoying. The coalition says publishers and ad-tech companies need to ditch them fast.

The accusation — you could call it a conspiracy theory — that's being leveled by more than one ad-tech executive is that Google is leading the coalition, funding it, and driving its agenda. In other words, they say, Google decided which ads to target and then acted on that unilaterally — blowing up business models along the way — and used the coalition as cover for its decision.

What's the problem if Google makes the experience of surfing the web less annoying for Chrome users? Well, Google also has its own ad-tech business — using algorithms to place ads online and target users — and some of the companies that will be affected by the change to Chrome are its rivals.

Google denies all the conspiracy talk. It doesn't have outsized power over the coalition that recommended the changes, it says. The coalition says the same. Also, plenty of publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and only encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business. But the animosity toward Google reflects its vast power in digital media. It soaks up a huge portion of ad budgets and influences how people surf the web, and for small ad-tech companies, that means Google dictates their business practices. For instance, the mobile-ad company Parsec said it would have to completely abandon its business model after the Chrome change.

It's news like that that has nerves fraying in the business. "It's a little Draconian, and there are too many combatants to talk to everybody," said Jim Spanfeller, an industry veteran who once ran Forbes.com and founded the publication The Daily Meal, referring to the coalition's goals and challenges.

Publishers, added Spanfeller, are "anxious and worried. They feel that this is being done to them, not by them. And the IAB [the Interactive Advertising Bureau, the leading digital-ad trade group] is a major player here, but they are fundamentally controlled by Google and Facebook. They pay the lion’s share of the dues. So it's a fair criticism."

All these moving parts and competing constituencies have made it hard to get a read on who's in charge. "There is a lack of knowledge right now and a lack of information from Google," said Gefen Lamdan, senior vice president at Celtra, which helps advertisers manage which ads run where on the web. "It's uncomfortable."

According to Lamdan, some of Google's recent decisions surrounding Chrome "came as a surprise to the IAB. Even IAB members did not know. So we are getting a lot of questions from all around."

"I really think this is a project the IAB should drive," she said.

The coalition of the willing

The Coalition for Better Ads lists dozens of members, including the IAB, Google, the ad-buying agency GroupM, Procter & Gamble, and Thompson Reuters.

Who's in charge? Officially, the coalition is overseen by a law firm, Venable. But, according to Venable spokesman Brendan McCormick, the coalition is a "member-driven organization" and neither the IAB nor Google runs the show.

Hands Across America

As for what ads are deemed as annoying and worthy of stamping out, the coalition's work was all about responding to what consumers want, he said.

"This has been very well received," McCormick said. Venable is educating the marketplace and helping publishers become compliant before the new Chrome update hits, he added.

However: "This is separate from what Chrome is doing," he said. "[Google is] stepping forward. We want to accelerate marketplace adoption."

McCormick said there were two tiers of dues-paying members and that Google is not, as some have suggested, funding the effort on its own.

"If you look at the breadth of the membership, it’s been very inclusive. All of our members have a voice in this.

"There is no specific timeline for the coalition," he added. "Expect to hear more from us in the months ahead. Conversations are very active."

What Google says

Google will give publishers and ad-tech companies a 30-day window before it starts blocking any ads in Chrome.

"Thanks to the Better Ads Standards, the ad industry has 12 ad experiences that we know annoy internet users and encourage people to opt out of ads entirely," a Google representative said.

"Chrome has a long history of protecting users from annoying or harmful experiences. For example, like other browsers, Chrome blocks pop-ups in new tabs and shows warnings before malware pages."

Yet Parsec CEO Marc Guldimann has been quick to say that Google's own core ads, including its search text ads and preroll video ads, like those on YouTube, were not part of the coalition's early rounds of tests. Who says people don't find them annoying, he asks.

It's also not lost on people in the ad industry that even as Google pledges to improve the ad experience for users, the company has acknowledged paying ad-blocking-software companies to make sure Google's ads don't get blocked, as Business Insider has reported.

Moreover, in Parsec's case, Guldimann is convinced that the testing took place without permission. "Either they copied our code or took one of our tags," he said.

According to the coalition, no specific publisher's ads were used in testing, which might explain why Google's core ads weren't initially included. From its website:

The Coalition’s research supporting the Better Ads Standards was based on common ad experiences from around the Web. These ad experiences are generic in nature, and designed to represent the concept of the ad experience - not any specific ad experience from a particular vendor.

Who wouldn't want better ads?

Some publishers and ad-tech companies are championing the efforts by the coalition and Google.

"We’re impressed with the level of detail and transparency Google is providing and are 200% behind this initiative,” said Troy Young, president of Hearst's digital media, in a recent Google blog post.

Ari Lewine, co-founder and chief strategy officer at the ad-tech firm Triplelift, founded his company to make digital ads better.

"We've been on this mission from the moment we started," he said. "We've raised our hand and said, 'Ads don’t need to be annoying to work.' The future of the internet depends on it."

Lewine said that as Google and Facebook have become more dominant, they've focused on protecting consumer experience. "The rest of web is competing with them and they've gone in the opposite direction," he said. "It's created this greater wedge between a user-experience-driven internet and an ad-tech-driven internet, and at some point that needs to come to a head."

Too inside-the-box?

Harry Kargman, CEO of the mobile-ad company Kargo, concurs that digital ads need improving. But he's worried the coalition's work could prove stifling. "We're concerned, but we're not making any changes at the moment."

In his view, blocking certain ad types "allows for zero innovation," he said. "Nobody knows how Google is going to implement this. The issue is, if you’re a publisher, one day when this goes live, you could have all of your ads turned off. You won’t know what’s going on."

Lamdan agreed that there are reasons to worry about how Chrome's technology will interpret certain ad types.

"When you look at the guidelines for better ads, what's allowed is quite clear," she said. "But when you translate them into machine language, in software it's not clear."

NOW WATCH: I won't trade in my iPhone 6s for an iPhone X or iPhone 8 — here's why

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[viralhottopics]

7 Famous White Feminists Im So Over

The Urban Dictionary

White Feminism is nowa popular term owing to the abundance of white celebs taking advantage of the movement to further their own interestand career, usually without extending female solidarity or tackling relevant social issues such as trans-womens rights, Hollywoods whitewashing, invisibility of the disabled, police brutality, cultural appropriation, or institutional racism.

( function() { var func = function() { var iframe_form = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-form-f888080ce156586622bf372d9e63212e-587edfdfcccbf'); var iframe = document.getElementById('wpcom-iframe-f888080ce156586622bf372d9e63212e-587edfdfcccbf'); if ( iframe_form && iframe ) { iframe_form.submit(); iframe.onload = function() { iframe.contentWindow.postMessage( { 'msg_type': 'poll_size', 'frame_id': 'wpcom-iframe-f888080ce156586622bf372d9e63212e-587edfdfcccbf' }, window.location.protocol + '//wpcomwidgets.com' ); } } // Autosize iframe var funcSizeResponse = function( e ) { var origin = document.createElement( 'a' ); origin.href = e.origin; // Verify message origin if ( 'wpcomwidgets.com' !== origin.host ) return; // Verify message is in a format we expect if ( 'object' !== typeof e.data || undefined === e.data.msg_type ) return; switch ( e.data.msg_type ) { case 'poll_size:response': var iframe = document.getElementById( e.data._request.frame_id ); if ( iframe && '' === iframe.width ) iframe.width = '100%'; if ( iframe && '' === iframe.height ) iframe.height = parseInt( e.data.height ); return; default: return; } } if ( 'function' === typeof window.addEventListener ) { window.addEventListener( 'message', funcSizeResponse, false ); } else if ( 'function' === typeof window.attachEvent ) { window.attachEvent( 'onmessage', funcSizeResponse ); } } if (document.readyState === 'complete') { func.apply(); /* compat for infinite scroll */ } else if ( document.addEventListener ) { document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', func, false ); } else if ( document.attachEvent ) { document.attachEvent( 'onreadystatechange', func ); } } )();

While this type of feminism raises a certain level of awareness to SOME feminist issues, it is harmful in that it paints a negative picture of the overall movement and thusgives dumb, ignorant boys an excuse to create sexist memes so they can call anyone who gets offended as Do not misunderstand me, I do not blame White Feminism as the sole reason why people, especially on the internet, immediately reject the importance and essence of feminism (sad online gnomes who are super bored with their lives and are desperate to be edgy should be held accountable for their own short-sightedness). My point is I would be very unglad if young women were led to believe by their idols that womens rights, solidarity, and empowerment are purely about #squadgoals, #actlikeaman, and #fuckdiets.

Rebecca Vorick, Feminism 101: What Is White Feminism?

Whether as individuals or celebrities, I dont hate the women that I will listbelow, but I do loathe their rejection of intersectional feminism, their habit of whining towards critics, and their collective willfulinabilityto acknowledge andlearn from their white privileged ways.

So here I present to you the role models for White Feminism and why they hella suck:

The Holy Trinity

1. Amy Schumer

Meghan Demaria

The first time I discovered Amy was from her movie after it got rave reviews from critics despite her character being obnoxiousas hell. Hollywood was abuzz with this funny, feminist, body-positive woman. Then I came across this article on her racist antics specifically about her controversial video parody of Beyoncs pro-black . I googled more and found out shes said a ton of racially insensitive things such as that time she joked Mexican men are rapists;or when she was bummed because no lesbians hit on her at a lesbian bar (was she thinking or what?); or when she implied men of color cat-call women more than white men do.

– If your career is built at the expense of minorities whom you mock and dehumanize, then your comedy is probably lazy, gross, and stale tbh. To quote Nathan Robinson but Amys jokes, as the Guardian explains,

If people pointout repeatedly you are racist and you can only respond along the lines of MAYBE you should self-reflectand make an effort to see WHY youre constantly criticized for your tasteless words instead of issuing another hollow Amys PR apologies, like many forced White Feminist apologies, count for nothing until she stops making feebleminded jokes that cater exclusively to a white American audience. Contrary to what Amy has claimed, she doesnt take responsibility for her words and doesnt use criticism against her in order to evolve as an artist and person. Instead she firmly stands her ground, proceeds to produce the same tired material, and shouts

TLDR, Amy, making and being slightly chubby does not a feminist make. No volume of laughter can drown out the fact youre a racist.

2. Lena Dunham

Lena, Lena, Lena. Oh, god, where do I begin?

Rebecca Carroll

If White Feminism were a video game, Lena Dunham would be that aggravating, seemingly unbeatable self-entitled boss villain at the end of the game that suddenly comes alive after you defeat it, cackling at you as it escapes into Video Game Part 2. Without her, the other mini-bosses might not have been enabled. She is the head of the White Feminist hydra whose foot-in-the-mouth diseasereaches far and wide.

"White Feminism" BINGO card. I have experienced ALL of these. Ugh. (From feministbingocards on Tumblr) http://pic.twitter.com/rUo4JubVeO

— Trudy (@thetrudz) February 6, 2015

Which brings me to why shes tied with Amy and why she is THE poster child for White Feminism (I only placed Amy first because I personally find her more unbearable). Because Lena, Amy, and friends are praised as feminist heroines, they and their careers get away virtually unscathed ifthey carelessly make racist, homophobic, or transphobic remarks. While Amy is guilty of proudly creating insipid humor, Lenas affronts are more unsettling.

Shes incredibly narcissistic as shown when she ranted (as in seriously, as in not a joke) about being offended by a black man not flirting with her and when she confessed shed never had an abortion but wished she had one (gurl, there are other ways to drawawareness on an issue without making it about yourself); her tv show supposedly represents feminism but only casts white girls and downplays sexual assault;she repeatedly objectifies black male bodies;she stated unbelievably ignorant gibberish about India and penned a sexist essay on Japan;she tweeted a racist joke about Asians; her view towards Rihannas abusive relationshipis perplexing; she doesnt acknowledge her success was heavily influenced by her wealthy familys connections; and she may have outed her sister to their parents without consent.

Theres also the questionable incident with said sister that Lena wrote of in her book I mean kids do weird crap and girls should be allowed to discover and explore their bodies and do naive stuff, but IDK what to sayabout this one so Ill just quote this anonymous comment on Jezebels article:

And this one by redditor scdi:

Plus this one by Victoria Brownworth:

While Im all for women being shameless in their self-love, theres nothing really new or groundbreaking with Lenas capitalist-centric feminism. Her work has indisputably raisedthe spotlight on important womens issues such as abortion and sexual autonomy, but is that enough given the harm shes done to feminism, to people of color, to LGBTQ+? She invites women to support her and her show because girl power, but hasnt bothered to address intersectionality and diversity, much less internalize any negative comments towards her regarding the above-mentioned stunts.

Lena Dunhams feminism is tone deaf. Theres nothing empowering about a classist, rich, privileged white girl who, like her counterpart Amy, contributes nothing profound or of actual substance for womens issues and is averse to improving her advocacy. I just I cant anymore. Lena, please ssssh.

If youre like me and youre done with Lena DONEham, check out some of the silly things shes saidhere.

3. Taylor Swift

My problematic fave! Who knew she was trouble when she walked in? T-Swizzles damsel-in-distress feminism may not be as toxic as Lena Dunhams, but its still clear as dishwater.

Taylor primarily rose as a status symbol for geeky shy girls, but even then people were already dissing Americas sweetheart. Somewhere along the way it became uncool to hate on Tay-Tay (whether legitimately or not), especially after Kanye stole her moment during the 2009 VMA.

Alas, regardless how polished and sweet your public persona is, if theres dirtunder all that sugar itll inevitably seep through bit by bit.Besides,any person who learns his/her feminism from Lena Dunham should not be trusted.

Ill sayTaylor is a hypocrite. Once upon a time she asserted she was not a feminist until one day she realized feminism is prettyradand helps her brandas an artist(plus it can be handy to dismiss your critics as). Of course its perfectly fine to change your opinion as you mature and learn from your initially confused view of feminism, but weve yet to see Taylor own up her missteps and strive for change.

She built an empire by portraying an angelic female whose biggest enemy is the sexualother female who steals her mans attention, and she exemplified this when she shit on Camille Belles career because Camille dated Taylors ex. She called her clique of BFFs to film a music video to drag Katy Perry after a feud. She accused Nicki Minaj of thereby overshadowingNickis discussion on her legitimate struggles as a black female artist and yet its Taylors character thats being assassinated? K.

Additionally, Taylor seems to be unaware of her privilege as a white woman; she culturally appropriates POC and uses them as props in her videos; her #squad is not inclusive; and her latest drama with Kanye contributes to the stereotypeof the angry black man vsthe innocent, faultless white woman. She also contendsthat if you are female and you do not support her, then there is aspecial place in hellfor you. Her self-serving feminism needs work because her white privilege is showing (and probably stressing out her PR team) and her constantly being marketed as a modern feminist despite her problematic-ness may detrimentally impact her young, impressionable fans.

For more examples of Taylor Swifts misguided feminism, I compiled a page of quotes on Quote Catalog which you can view by clicking here.

Honorable Mentions

4. Tina Fey

Jamie Peck

Tina, while undoubtedly very talented and funny, has stated in a 2009 Vanity Fair interview that (after her husband visited a strip club) she disapproves of strippers because “we need to be better than that”.Meanwhile she has no qualms about slamming sex workers as the punch line to her jokes. Self-worth does not equate to modesty, Tina!

Besides these, shewas complicit in a cast members terminationfrombecausethe actresswas not conventionally attractive. Then there was that episode from her other show that bordered on racist and the other one that parodied a famous doctors appearance which may or may not haveaddedto the doctors depression.

Ill sum this up with a post from blacklamb:

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5. Jennifer Lawrence

Ugh.

I wouldnt have included J. Law here but thenshe wrote that patronizing open letter about the US Presidential elections expressing that loving your neighbors was the answer to ending racial violence.

While were here, Ill point out she says a lot of dumb shitbelievingshes being quirky (like that time she roasted a foreign reporter for using his phones translator) when shes actually being an asshole. Recently she alsodesecrated and destroyed a sacred Hawaiian relic by scratching her butt on it because, again, she thought it was funny even after guides specifically asked herNOT to touch said relics. Ha. Ha. Ha. I guess?

Hopefully Hollywood realizes feminism isnt mainly about women eating pizzaandnot being a size zero.

6. Miley Cyrus

White Feminism, whats good?

Like every other proper White Feminist, Miley Cyrus uses the movement for her own agenda, exploits people of color, and remains mum on important topics such as Black Lives Matter. She is kind of an expert in perpetuating misogynoir and appropriating black culture. Like shes so good at profiting from black people and reformulating black culture into her own style (then whitesplaining about it) that Nicki Minaj called her out on the 2015 VMA stage.

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Thankfully, Mileys antics seems to have simmered down recently. Lets hope other White Feministstake heed.

7. Meryl Streep / Caitlyn Jenner / Tilda Swinton

This last one was confusing. Thereare just too many White Feminists to choose from! So I mergedthree instead.

Remember that time Meryl Streep erased black peoples struggles by saying or when Caitlyn Jenner (as important as her visibility is) transitioned butdenied that same right forother trans-people?; or when Tilda Swinton broke my GOT-fan-girl heart by playing the asian-friend card with Margaret Choto make herself feel better about accepting a role as a whitewashed character?

Hollywood is flocking with White Feminists who range from annoying to problematic to downright toxic. As much as Western Media tries to shove them down my throat as exceptional feminist figures, they do not successfully represent my generation, my gender or genders issues, or my feminism.

Alternatives?

If you want some examples of non-White Feminists, see: Zendaya, Angela Davis, Ariana Grande, Laverne Cox, Mia Mingus, bell hooks, Malala Yousafzai, Matt McGorry (yes, males can be good feminists, too),Amandla Stenberg, Carrie Fisher, etc.

Some of you may complain but pleaseread the sources. I encourage everyone, especially dissenters, to first click the links above if you have questions regarding the incidents, people, or statements written. The thought pieces/web pages the links lead to will likely be able to address your queries and offer more context and in-depth analysis regarding specific issues.

We need to become responsible for actively educating ourselves rather thanjeering should a feminist raise a concern. On the other hand, although its easy to call out White Feminists and leave it at that, this by itself will not help advance the feminist movement or strengthen solidarity. So if you spot a White Feminist, do not just call them out – call them in, too. Encourageothers to practiceintersectionalityand inclusiveness just in case they have not been schooled on the broader philosophies of feminism.

Last notes: critiquing White Feminist celebs does not diminish whatever kindnessthese ladies have done for othersor commendable work theyve accomplished in their fields or in charities (such as Meryls inspirational Golden Globes speech or Taylors altruism for her fans). You can simultaneously be a good celebrity and generous person, and still be a White Feminist.

Iacknowledge the celebrities mentioned may have already offered apologies or addressed certain matters.Thats fine– everybodys activism is messy or imperfect, and it is understandable that a public figures learning process can be more challenging. As long as one isvisibly trying to make an effort to do better it should be okay. Unfortunately most of the people I mentioned dont seem to care much.

Having well-meaning intentions that falter in execution is simply not good enough anymore.

http://ift.tt/2jHFUJP

Read more: http://ift.tt/2jHHF9Q

from 7 Famous White Feminists Im So Over

#7 Famous White Feminists Im So Over

[ramialkarmi]

Google's plan to block certain ads in Chrome is making ad executives nervous and fueling conspiracy talk

A new Chrome browser update that will automatically block certain kinds of ads has some people in the digital-ad world on edge.

Google says the new ad restrictions are driven by research conducted by an industry-wide group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which examined the kinds of ads that most annoy consumers.

But many in the industry aren't clear who's driving the plan to eliminate certain ads — Google, the coalition's leaders, or someone else. That's led to confusion.

Still, some publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business.

Angst is running high in digital media as Google plots a change to its Chrome browser that could cut off certain types of ads. Many in the ecosystem are unsure about what's going to happen and when. They're also asking a surprising question: Who is behind all this?

To review: Google plans a new Chrome browser, coming next year, that will automatically block certain ads, such as video ads that play automatically with sound. Google says it's acting on the recommendation of a cross-industry group called the Coalition for Better Ads, which it says has identified 12 ad types that people find highly annoying. The coalition says publishers and ad-tech companies need to ditch them fast.

The accusation — you could call it a conspiracy theory — that's being leveled by more than one ad-tech executive is that Google is leading the coalition, funding it, and driving its agenda. In other words, they say, Google decided which ads to target and then acted on that unilaterally — blowing up business models along the way — and used the coalition as cover for its decision.

What's the problem if Google makes the experience of surfing the web less annoying for Chrome users? Well, Google also has its own ad-tech business — using algorithms to place ads online and target users — and some of the companies that will be affected by the change to Chrome are its rivals.

Google denies all the conspiracy talk. It doesn't have outsized power over the coalition that recommended the changes, it says. The coalition says the same. Also, plenty of publishers are applauding Google's move to rid the internet of ads that bother people and only encourage ad-blocking software, which hurts business. But the animosity toward Google reflects its vast power in digital media. It soaks up a huge portion of ad budgets and influences how people surf the web, and for small ad-tech companies, that means Google dictates their business practices. For instance, the mobile-ad company Parsec said it would have to completely abandon its business model after the Chrome change.

It's news like that that has nerves fraying in the business. "It's a little Draconian, and there are too many combatants to talk to everybody," said Jim Spanfeller, an industry veteran who once ran Forbes.com and founded the publication The Daily Meal, referring to the coalition's goals and challenges.

Publishers, added Spanfeller, are "anxious and worried. They feel that this is being done to them, not by them. And the IAB [the Interactive Advertising Bureau, the leading digital-ad trade group] is a major player here, but they are fundamentally controlled by Google and Facebook. They pay the lion’s share of the dues. So it's a fair criticism."

All these moving parts and competing constituencies have made it hard to get a read on who's in charge. "There is a lack of knowledge right now and a lack of information from Google," said Gefen Lamdan, senior vice president at Celtra, which helps advertisers manage which ads run where on the web. "It's uncomfortable."

According to Lamdan, some of Google's recent decisions surrounding Chrome "came as a surprise to the IAB. Even IAB members did not know. So we are getting a lot of questions from all around."

"I really think this is a project the IAB should drive," she said.

The coalition of the willing

The Coalition for Better Ads lists dozens of members, including the IAB, Google, the ad-buying agency GroupM, Procter & Gamble, and Thompson Reuters.

Who's in charge? Officially, the coalition is overseen by a law firm, Venable. But, according to Venable spokesman Brendan McCormick, the coalition is a "member-driven organization" and neither the IAB nor Google runs the show.

As for what ads are deemed as annoying and worthy of stamping out, the coalition's work was all about responding to what consumers want, he said.

"This has been very well received," McCormick said. Venable is educating the marketplace and helping publishers become compliant before the new Chrome update hits, he added.

However: "This is separate from what Chrome is doing," he said. "[Google is] stepping forward. We want to accelerate marketplace adoption."

McCormick said there were two tiers of dues-paying members and that Google is not, as some have suggested, funding the effort on its own.

"If you look at the breadth of the membership, it’s been very inclusive. All of our members have a voice in this.

"There is no specific timeline for the coalition," he added. "Expect to hear more from us in the months ahead. Conversations are very active."

What Google says

Google will give publishers and ad-tech companies a 30-day window before it starts blocking any ads in Chrome.

"Thanks to the Better Ads Standards, the ad industry has 12 ad experiences that we know annoy internet users and encourage people to opt out of ads entirely," a Google representative said.

"Chrome has a long history of protecting users from annoying or harmful experiences. For example, like other browsers, Chrome blocks pop-ups in new tabs and shows warnings before malware pages."

Yet Parsec CEO Marc Guldimann has been quick to say that Google's own core ads, including its search text ads and preroll video ads, like those on YouTube, were not part of the coalition's early rounds of tests. Who says people don't find them annoying, he asks.

It's also not lost on people in the ad industry that even as Google pledges to improve the ad experience for users, the company has acknowledged paying ad-blocking-software companies to make sure Google's ads don't get blocked, as Business Insider has reported.

Moreover, in Parsec's case, Guldimann is convinced that the testing took place without permission. "Either they copied our code or took one of our tags," he said.

According to the coalition, no specific publisher's ads were used in testing, which might explain why Google's core ads weren't initially included. From its website:

The Coalition’s research supporting the Better Ads Standards was based on common ad experiences from around the Web. These ad experiences are generic in nature, and designed to represent the concept of the ad experience - not any specific ad experience from a particular vendor.

Who wouldn't want better ads?

Some publishers and ad-tech companies are championing the efforts by the coalition and Google.

"We’re impressed with the level of detail and transparency Google is providing and are 200% behind this initiative,” said Troy Young, president of Hearst's digital media, in a recent Google blog post.

Ari Lewine, co-founder and chief strategy officer at the ad-tech firm Triplelift, founded his company to make digital ads better.

"We've been on this mission from the moment we started," he said. "We've raised our hand and said, 'Ads don’t need to be annoying to work.' The future of the internet depends on it."

Lewine said that as Google and Facebook have become more dominant, they've focused on protecting consumer experience. "The rest of web is competing with them and they've gone in the opposite direction," he said. "It's created this greater wedge between a user-experience-driven internet and an ad-tech-driven internet, and at some point that needs to come to a head."

Too inside-the-box?

Harry Kargman, CEO of the mobile-ad company Kargo, concurs that digital ads need improving. But he's worried the coalition's work could prove stifling. "We're concerned, but we're not making any changes at the moment."

In his view, blocking certain ad types "allows for zero innovation," he said. "Nobody knows how Google is going to implement this. The issue is, if you’re a publisher, one day when this goes live, you could have all of your ads turned off. You won’t know what’s going on."

Lamdan agreed that there are reasons to worry about how Chrome's technology will interpret certain ad types.

"When you look at the guidelines for better ads, what's allowed is quite clear," she said. "But when you translate them into machine language, in software it's not clear."

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