#listen. i can call it lame. hes a loser and its part of his character to be a loser. but he's also a committed cunt.

[martyrbat]

hate when a batman artist isn't committed to bruce's lame bat schtick... give that man a bat insignia on the bottom of his boots rn

#edit: check reblogs for the addition to this post 👍 #listen. i can call it lame. hes a loser and its part of his character to be a loser. but he's also a committed cunt. #you think hes going to NOT have bat shoe imprints?? you think thats the one thing he's going to suddenly be subtle about? #commit to the campiness or get outta here!!! #ransom note

[tiesandtea]

Mr. Lazy – fanzine interview with Alan Fisher, December 2004

intrepid suede globetrotters elina and sirje conducted this interview with alan fisher, the man about whom songs like "lazy", "high rising", "beautiful loser" and, according to the man himself, "the most of the others as well" have been written. (editor's note: not to suggest that alcohol played any part in this q&a session, but it did take place in alan's local. oh, and in other locations in the uk, plus morocco & finland, in both oral & written forms. anyway, surely worth all the so-called trouble.) no animals, be they cats or terrapins, were harmed during this interview, but a considerable amount of wine bottles did get destroyed.

how long have you known brett? where did you grow up?

i have known brett since i was 16/17 – near on 20 years now. i grew up in sussex, near haywards heath.

how does it feel that so many of brett’s lyrics are about you? (did you ever get the feeling that brett was just kind of observing you or waiting around for you to do something flamboyant so that he could write about it?)

it’s very flattering to know that some lyrics are about me. however i was never aware of brett observing me purposely to get lyrics or ideas for songs. it’s funny because there are so many songs that are very personal to me, and you think some part of the song is about you, and they are not. over the years many friends who have been in close contact with brett and the music think that songs are about them, because of various lyrical content. i think brett has ability to take elements from friends’ lives or chapters and create a story blended together, a fusion of characters in one song. i remember when i heard “the big time” and the last line – “now we’re in the big time and you’re in the way” i was extremely put out, i took it very personally. i thought it referred to me, but luckily it didn’t. however i’m pleased to say that my favourite song has to be “lazy”. the original version i think went like this – “here they come with their make up on as lovely as the birds come and see them” which i think is very beautiful. which changed to “here they come gone 7 am bla bla bla”, which was about being up all night, then putting on make up so as to hide the effects of being on a bender, and going down to off-license to buy cornflakes and bottles of red wine.

what was the best experience traveling with suede? (what happened in las vegas?)

difficult question, as i’ve had many amazing experiences on tour with suede. two very contrasting escapades were one journey in japan, and one on the west coast of america. brett and myself had the fortunate experience of visiting a buddhist temple in japan called the “moss gardens”. we visited a temple that was so beautiful and peaceful, and the entire gardens were immersed in moss with beautiful ponds and waterfalls. we sat in the temple and wrote a mantra admist buddhist chanting, which i believe influenced the song “introducing the band”. the other experience was a trip to la, san francisco and las vegas. i seem to remember i hadn’t been to bed for a few days, and when i was there i didn’t sleep much for various reasons. we stayed at a friend’s house in beverly hills called michiko, a house of pure opulence, with plenty of alcohol and other fineries. i seem to remember that towards the end (in vegas) brett wouldn’t let me sleep – just more alcohol. and i think that when i went to bed brett checked to make sure i was alive.

what will/do you miss the most about suede?

the thing i miss the most about suede is being around when a great song is created. i’d come home and brett would say “i’ve got it.”, some missing song on the album and consequently we would stay up night after night listening to the same song over and over – the poor neighbours.

at what part of his career was brett at his happiest?

when he was writing happy songs. actually i don’t think brett ever made happy songs. only joking! i don’t know when brett was actually the happiest. i think maybe when the band first started and the first album came out, that’s when he realised his dreams were coming true.

has brett being famous ever bothered you?

brett being famous has never bothered me; in fact it’s been quite a relief; it’s taken the limelight away from me.

fame can and has certainly changed many people who obtain it. how do you think it's affected brett over the years? has it affected your friendship?

i don’t think fame has changed brett’s fundamental characteristics, obviously it has shaped his life aspects like walking down the street, or having a drink in pub. i think living with me for so long has definitely fucked him up.

is there a lot of divergence between brett's public persona and the man underneath it all?

not really. he’s the same complex, passionate and artistic character at home and on stage, i don’t know about the bedroom though!!

how were the new band members really welcomed?

some dreadful, unmentionable initiation ceremonies.

was brett & bernard getting back together a surprise for you? how do you like the new material? how about brett’s solo material?

not really; they had a magic chemistry together that never really fulfilled its potential. and the new stuff is absolutely great! wait and see!!

what's all this about brett meditating? it was mentioned in the love & poison book.

i haven’t actually read love & poison, which is extremely lame of me, eventually i will. however, i think brett has some interest in meditating, maybe from visiting japan’s buddhist temples and being influenced by their way of living, zen and all that.

is brett good at pub quizzes?

brett, i could imagine, is very good at pub quizzes if he entered them. they have a quiz at our local pub, i think brett and mat osman entered once, and came a very admirable second place, which is no mean feat, because it’s a very professional affair in that establishment.

have there been times when brett did something you wish he hadn't? musical decisions or anything.

i can’t think of anything that resembles a mistake or regret in terms of musical direction. over the years, artists are faced with monumental decisions to make in terms of artistic development; single releases; band commitment and general themes for the forthcoming albums. however, i think brett has the ability to listen to other people’s opinions as well as his own, to come up with the best viable decision. considering the turbulent times of drug taking and various band members coming and going, i don’t think he’s done too badly.

how posh is brett?

how posh is brett – what a strange question – in fact the hardest one i’ve ever been asked! – not at all. crikey, well for somebody that came from a council house and bought second hand records/clothes. he now drinks tea at 4 o’clock in proper bone china tea cups – doesn’t get any posher than that. oh! and he has a butler called jessica rabbit.

does he watch sports on tv?

well it has to be football, brett hates posh sports like cricket & rugby (un)like me. he is very obsessive over the england football team, ipswich and manchester united (because that’s my team, and i always cry when they lose).

what's brett's best quality?

brett’s best quality is having good taste in friends and good taste in music, i.e., suede.

and his worst?

i can’t think of his worst qualities, but i remember the worst thing living with him, he would always become too comfortable on the sofa which would mean i would have to rewind the suede demos and go out and get another bottle of wine from the off-license.

we're sorry this is all about suede/brett... when we start an alan fanzine we’ll interview you about yourself... ok?

ok.

tell us a secret

my favourite colour is black.

how much do suede lie in the interviews? (if you read them)

i’m too busy to read suede interviews, i’ve got my own press cuttings to examine.

what do you think brett would have become without suede?

i’m sure it would have only been with some musical compaction. however, our living arrangements would have resembled something out of “the servant”.

what about you? how much has suede affected you?

suede were the most important thing in my life. as my girlfriend just put it a moment ago whilst i was writing this, it’s like going out with three people: her, me and suede. as i tell her, it could have been worse: i could have been friends with ronan keating.

do you love us? what do you think of suede fans in general? a lovely bunch on whole, or have you had some harrowing experiences with obsessed loonies?

well, i’m a suede fan myself, so i would have to say they are great. obsessed loonies? i am one; i have been stalking brett for 20 years, but he doesn’t realise.

there are lots of mentions of yours and brett's drug use in l&p. is this an accurate characterization of the state of affairs or did it get glammed up a bit for press?

it’s all a myth, i once smoked a joint with brett, it was really far out man! oh, and i snorted some glue at a dinner party once, it was so chic.

tell us something about suede that we don't know.

they are a figment of your imagination!!

tell us something about brett that we don't know.

i know something extremely juicy, real top gossip. but you’re going to have to wait to see whether he meets my blackmail demands.

if you were an animal, what kind of animal would he be? what kind of animal would brett be?

brett refers to me as an electrocuted rabbit, something similar to the mad hatter in alice in wonderland. i think brett would be a very feline cat.

speaking of cats, they tend to go missing, don’t they?

we had a cat called meisk – when brett was on tour it went missing. when i found it on the street, i thought it had a cold because it had a funny meow – it turned out to be the wrong cat. i remember brett was extremely pissed off. we had another cat called sphinx that was an incredibly lively character, it had a long run up – then produced its claws and wham!!

have you ever been arrested?

yes! on several occasions, on suspicion of being sinister and bad influence on society.

dave thompson’s yet-to-be-published suede-book, an armchair guide to suede, includes this: 

"‘young men’ developed out of lyrics written for a joke band, the bruisers, that anderson, his flatmate alan and a hairdresser friend named gary hatched one evening;"

can you tell us anything more about this?

after one crazy night early in the morning we had this inspiration to form a band based on idea of national front skinheads with the title song “british bulldog”. brett and gary were both very amusing and inventive with songs like “santa ain’t a wanker” etc.

besides that, have you ever been musically inclined or in a band yourself?

after hearing brett playing an instrument called the melodica, something like a mouth organ with a pipe attached to it, waking me every morning, it put me off music for life.

what other music are you into besides suede?

sigue sigue sputnik and mozart.

have you and brett ever had a fist fight? have you ever fought over who does the shopping or cleans the toilet or whose dirty plates are in the sink?

we have never had a fist fight in 20 years. however, we once had a duel at sunrise over who was the vainest.

that’s it then. say something nice. or mean. whatever you like. thanks!

stop asking me questions about brett, and more about myself!

Source: Pornographic & Tragic, the official Suede fanzine, issue 2 (December 2004).

#suede #this is actually a great & fun read

[lily-blue]

CODE Z3RO | CODE 04

characters: BTS & Red Velvet genre: thriller, futuristic au warning: blood, death summary: The twelve most ambitious and promising university students are welcomed in Choego, the world’s first entirely artificial intelligence-driven city, to compete for five job contracts that could change their life. But what if something goes wrong? What if they get trapped? What if the city suddenly turns against them? Can they find a way out before the countdown reaches zero? words: 4,7K tagged: @philosopher-of-fandoms​

➼ Chapter Index

The corridor was dreadfully quiet as if Jung Hoseok had walked down on an abandoned graveyard full of long forgotten souls. Honestly, he hated every damn minute of this impossible trial that the researchers had forced upon their group of twelve, but at least his rivals weren’t too much to bear except for Taehyung whom he hoped would have disappeared along with or rather instead of daddy’s little princess. At least, Sooyoung had been a weaker link than him, a brainless doll dressed in gold and glitter. Considering the dynamic of their miniature society, she had meant no harm, meanwhile Taehyung seemed to be one of those guys who would have given you the last drop of drinking water just to poison you in a deserted island. He was ambitious and Hoseok knew that people like him would have done anything to get what they wanted.

Taking a sharp right turn, the Sociology major pushed the canteen’s double door open and walked towards their group that was eating in the corner, putting his arms on the edge of an ugly, plastic chair’s backrest. For a few minutes, he listened to their quiet chatter about neutral topics in silence, rolling his eyes when one of the girls changed the subject from a television show to the weather. It was a natural reaction for the chaotic situation they were in, complete ignorance, but the fact that he had known that it was something he should have expected didn’t mean that it didn’t rub him in the wrong way.

He cleared his throat to gain everyone’s attention. Looking at the empty lunch boxes and the dirty cellophane in front of Seokjin, he couldn’t wait to leave this creepy hospital behind, finding useful clues in the researchers’ headquarter, earning some good points for his neatness from their supervisors. He had always been good at finding links between reasons and consequences until the equation hadn’t expanded with risky variables such as haunted buildings, axe murderers and walking zombies. Would have it been possible that the researchers had made a complex trial for them, getting their inspiration from stupid, American survival shows and lame books for young adults? Shit! How much he hated their sick society and the masterminds behind the contemporary entertainment industry.

‘Did anyone see our Korean Richie Rich or that scary IT guy with the eerie look?’ he asked before he could have overthought their situation even more, his long fingers already shaking under the imaginary weight on his shoulders. Staying composed in an ambiguous situation had already taken a lot of energy out of his body and was harder that he had first thought. 

‘Did you check the toilets?’ the grumpy guy with lilac hair asked, chewing on the last bites of his sandwich in an obviously annoyed pace and Hoseok wondered whether Taehyung had hated people in general or it was him whom he had an actual problem with.

‘Well, obviously. I’m coming from there,’ he answered and patted the front side of his jeans with a wide grin, satisfied that he had finally found a toilet after he had failed so during his first attempt, half an hour prior when they had stepped into this eerie labyrinth with dozens of empty rooms and abandoned beds. Although a part of him did find rationality behind the absence of people - Choego was still under construction and was waiting for its wealthy inhabitants after all -, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy whenever he thought about the silence that surrounded them 24/7.

His gaze never leaving the boy deep in his own thoughts, Taehyung rolled his eyes at Hoseok’s stupidity, saving his energy as he swallowed a cocky comment on the inevitability of having more than one toilet in a huge building like this one with at least six floors. Humming, he honestly started to doubt the company’s management, considering that they had indeed thought of idiots like Hoseok as valuable candidates. From his point of view, even his three-year-old little sister was smarter than a significant part of their group of so-called prodigies. The thought of teaming up with a bunch of losers was utterly ridiculous yet he couldn’t disobey the researchers’ orders.

They all finished the remains of their food in utter silence except for Wendy who hushed her boyfriend when he tried to break the unpleasant atmosphere with a joke about two cartons of milk talking in the desert that only Seokjin could appreciated. Said boy stood up not long after the carefree laughter left his mouth and looked around with a pinch of worry in his eyes as the peace finally settled between the lovebirds on his right.

‘So now that we all finished our breakfast and Joohyun also got her insulin, I suggest to go and find the others. Any objections?’ he asked in a firm tone as he took the lead voluntarily. After all, when it came to measuring their possible strengths and weaknesses, he was far the most qualified for the job since he’d already had experience in disastrous situations thanks to his degree in Crisis Management. He’d served his required volunteer service in Nepal where a massive earthquake had killed more than eight thousand people in 2015. He was certain that he could handle the researchers’ tough simulation just as smoothly as he’d helped to rebuild hundreds of buildings for those who had lost not just their homes but their loved ones, too, from one day to another. Although back then, he hadn’t had to deal with disrespectful youngsters like Taehyung.

‘You bet! Could you explain, why are they so freakin’ important?’ he asked as he stood up just the same, his itching palms resting on the top of the table, voice heavy because of the boiling anger in his veins. He looked at his rivals, annoyed, then smashed the wooden furniture, fingers curling into pulsing fists as he stretched his back and faced with the eldest challengingly. ‘I mean, we’ve already left that crazy bitch behind - thank goodness -, so why are they any different? Is it because of his money?’ he came up with the first thing that seemed rational enough to waste their time for losers when Seokjin’s sharp glance rendered him speechless. The lilac-haired boy gulped but didn’t blink, holding onto his pride with tooth and nail regardless of the others’ disapproval snorts. 

‘It’s because we’re in the same team, Taehyung, and we won’t betray another fellow. Not until I’m here,’ Seokjin claimed earning a few smiles mostly from the girls. When he took the first step towards the double door, no one stayed behind. They all followed him to the hallway, leaving their bags and luggages casually in the corner, close to Jimin’s belongings. 

As if the obvious disagreement between Taehyung and Seokjin had forced everyone’s mouth shut, the incomplete group walked down the hallways without exchanging small talks, only Joohyun’s heavy breathing emerging from the background noise of their firm steps. Unlike his caring girlfriend who simply couldn’t hold herself back from glancing at her roommate’s direction, Namjoon looked more than bothered because of her current state.  But he chose not to confront the redhead more than once within a single hour and fixed his gaze on the strange duo right in front of him. Seeing Taehyung’s clenched fists and crimson ears, the mechanical engineer had some serious doubts whether Joohyun was the only one they should have been worried about. 

‘Did you see the Saw?’ Hoseok asked completely out of the blue as his gaze glided from the light green tiles to the boy on his left with an arched brow floating slowly yet challengingly to the middle of his forehead. He seemed nervous, Namjoon could tell, as his trembling hand ruffled his messy locks unintentionally, his hair already resembling to a bird’s nest because of his ugly cap that now peaked out of his jeans’ huge back pocket.

Namjoon narrowed his eyes, waiting anxiously when the lilac-haired boy’s annoyed voice reached his ears with a harsh ‘What?’

The older boy had always thought of himself as someone who rather avoided conflicts than raising his voice on the verge of an upcoming storm yet he couldn’t stop his shoulders from becoming naturally tense as he observed his childish teammates. He didn’t understand why any of them or anyone in general would have made an anxious sphere even more uncomfortable on purpose and if not on purpose then how came that they didn’t notice the obvious, the negative effect of their debate on the remaining people in their group. For him, it was enough to shoot a quick glance at Wendy’s creased forehead and he knew that something was definitely off with the situation.

‘In the sixth movie, although I’m not sure, there was this horrific game in which all the victims had to work together…’ Hoseok went on, trying to take a further discussion on the subject that seemingly made the whole situation worse as Taehyung’s fingers curled up in a slightly shaking fist.

‘Jeez! Just shut up already, would you? You’re such a headache,’ he snapped and speeded up his hasty steps to get as far from the Sociology major as possible considering his limited options. In the end, he slowed down next to Seulgi and walked by her side in silence as if she hadn’t been there in the first place. Not that the girl would have minded the momentary peace, Taehyung’s rejecting attitude was better than listening to their whining.

‘Asshole,’ Hoseok murmured under his nose, darting his tongue out at the younger’s back when he thought that no one was watching. But his resentful comment didn’t slip Namjoon’s attention as the engineer stepped behind him and watched her girlfriend as she checked on Joohyun when she was finally left alone. Her genuine eagerness to help others in need never failed to amaze the ever so rational boy therefore the fond smile that played in the corner of his mouth was rather proud than annoyed.

‘I saw that movie, man. It was the fifth actually,’ he answered the question Taehyung refused to and even patted Hoseok’s shoulder a few times to soothe his nerves, encouraging to follow the others who were already a few steps ahead of them. ‘A bit disgusting, if you ask me, but genius.’

They changed their opinions on the mentioned movie in which there had been a group of people who had to work together in exchange for their freedom. Yet, they failed miserably as they couldn’t stop sacrificing each other, not caring about anything but their own lives. Every single task in the survival game was designed to emphasize the importance of teamwork hiding it behind selfishness and the players only realized it when it was too late. At the final challenge, they had to fill an enormous object with their own blood and considering that by the time they had reached the last room only two of them survived, they almost bled out and died inches away from their redemption. If they hadn’t been killing one another so carelessly, a few ounces of blood would have been enough from each one of them. It was mind-blowing, one of the most amazing plot twists in the history of horror for sure.

Opening every single unlocked door and walking into every damn toilet and janitor’s room, they searched for Yoongi and Jimin literally everywhere in vain as if the Earth had suddenly opened its mouth and swallowed both of them up in whole. It made everyone uneasy.

They were on the ground floor in the eastern wing when Seokjin finally stopped and they all could take a short break from this insane hide and seek. Though, not everyone was so keen to rest as Jungkook and Taehyung markedly walked back and forth, not knowing what to do with their energy. But while the grumpy boy kicked into the wall here and there lightly, testing his strength, Jungkook observed the remaining doors on the current level one by one.

‘I really don’t think that they’ll be there,’ Namjoon stated when the youngster pushed the door with the basement sign on it open and peeked inside, turning his head left and right.

‘Maybe,’ he hummed, not really paying attention to the fellow engineer’s presence as he stepped on the first step behind the door instead. He had questions and he was more than willing to leave their group behind for a few hours at most if it was really necessary to find the desired answers. What was the whole point of this simulation beside the obvious, that the researchers were curious about their problem-solving abilities in an artificial catastrophe? What happened with those who had left the group? What if they all managed to pass the trial? Why had they lied to them about their schedule for the rest of the day when they clearly had other plans for their candidates? What kind of skills were required to get a contract? Creativity, cooperation, critical thinking? ‘But I’d like to check the whole facility in case they hid some clues on one of their computers,’ he explained, grabbing the handrail as he looked at Namjoon from above his shoulder. ‘You don’t have to follow me, though.’

The older boy furrowed his brows and opened his mouth, ready to protest but the voice that filled the air was definitely more high-pitched and less raspy than what his vocal chord could have ever maintained. Both Jungkook’s and Namjoon’s head turned towards the petite girl, standing right behind the latter, watching her acting all embarrassed because of the faint ‘I’d like to. Sounds like a good idea even if I won’t be much help,’ that had left her mouth. Yerim brushed a tiny mop of hair behind her ear over and over again, unable to stand the younger’s piercing gaze for more than an ephemeral moment. And everything became much worse when Taehyung decided to join their company.

‘Hah! Of course, she thinks that. After all, it’s his idea,’ the lilac-haired boy blurted out, his deep voice heavy with ill will and mockery. The Marketing major’s loud presumption and malicious smile turned the girl into a blushing mess within a blink of an eye and seeing her frightened look, anyone could have told that she wished nothing but to dissolve into thin air.

‘Is there something you want to say?’ Seokjin joined the conversation as well and stepped between Taehyung and Yerim like a human shield as if his presence could have protected the girl from everything that the grumpy boy had been so ready to throw at her face.

Taehyung snorted. Ridiculous. 

‘Sure. Your sister isn’t any better than Sooyoung was,’ he claimed, tilting his head to Yerim’s direction as the others walked closer, their figures forming a lame, irregular circle around the epicentrum of their debate. ‘Now that Gangnam girl’s gone, she’s the weakest link,’ Taehyung scoffed matter-of-factly, earning a few deadly glances from their teammates although no one protested, not even Seokjin. The eldest just stood there with tense shoulders and clenched fists, breathing shallow and worried. He hated that the Marketing major wasn’t that far from the truth - considering their abilities in an emergency situation, Joohyun, Hoseok and Yerim seemed to be the less useful members of their group. While the older girl panicked in stressful situations and Hoseok got easily scared even of his own shadow, his sister usually froze when everyone around her was loud and pressing. He had still remembered the first fire alarm test they’d had in primary school since Yerim’s homeroom teacher had made sure, it remained unforgettable as he’d freaked out in front of everyone when he had failed to find the little girl. But it didn’t mean that they couldn’t have surprised them with unexpected, innovative solutions. They had plenty of time to prove Taehyung wrong and Seokjin hoped they would. After all, without Yerim, they would have slept through and have failed the first part of the simulation.

Turning towards Jungkook, Seokjin relaxed his stiff muscles and spoke up in a rather calm voice.

‘Actually, we have plenty of time. Let’s go and check the area,’ he said, encouraging the younger with a firm nod as he took the first steps towards the door. To Taehyung’s dissatisfaction, everyone followed them thus he was the only one who remained in the hallway.

‘It’s useless. It’s not that we’ll find some nasty skeletons in their basement,’ he shouted like a sulky child and his annoyed statement forced Namjoon to stop on the first stair, head snapping at his direction. He looked at Taehyung, confused, lips in a firm line, white like virgin snow. Truth to tell, he didn’t like him - especially not his destructive attitude - but he was a part of their group, just as much as anyone else, and teamwork was the keypoint of their task. The researchers wanted them to work together, in unison, and Namjoon wasn’t that stupid to disobey their will because of Taehyung’s ill-wishing behaviour. He didn’t plan to shut him out since he didn’t plan to lose his chance to get a contract because of him either.

‘Don’t be a dick, man! I’m sure, you don’t want to be their enemy,’ he said, calling for him with a simple wave of his hand. ‘Let’s go!’

A few seconds later, the hallway was as empty as it had been before they would have crossed the threshold of the abandoned hospital - eerie and silent, lack of human souls.

Kim Seokjin was an excellent team player until his little sister wasn’t a part of the said group because then she became more important to him than anything or anybody else and preferences inevitably destroyed the collaboration. It wasn’t his fault though, their parents had raised him to be like this, they had literally planted the protectiveness in his nature from the moment Yerim had been born.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked in a voice so quiet, it was barely above a whisper although he did it out of goodwill rather than being ashamed of the fact that his sister wasn’t as fierce and independent as their mother who had been a zealous activist in Yerim’s age. She and their father had met on a protest against the educational system and its clearly disadvantageous and sometimes sexist rules such as the unsaid privileges that the wealthy students had gotten and the must of mini skirts even in winter. Well, back then they had been on different sides and that was what had made their love a groundbreaking story. Seokjin found it endearing and inspiring at the very same time. 

Shaking his head, he put his palm on his sister’s shoulder and squeezed it lightly. His caring touch earned an equally light sigh in return. 

‘Yeah. It’s not that I suddenly become useless just because he said so,’ Yerim replied and even though her voice was faint, both her eyes were shining with a reassuring glint, her lips curling up all the way to her ears. She didn’t want her brother to worry to no end nor was willing to give the satisfaction to Taehyung by letting him see her fall apart. So she strengthened her heart and didn’t let anxiety consume her soul.

‘That’s my girl,’ Seokjin smiled and patted the top of his sister’s head, staying by her side as they followed Jungkook who seemed unbothered by the fact that Yerim couldn’t take her eyes off of his back and could have easily burnt a hole in the middle of his bladebone if one had been beared with superpowers. Ah! He would have given everything to be able to turn simple object to gold.

At some point when the first closed door appeared on the hallway, Seokjin started to make mental notes and different theories based on their surroundings and all those things that had happened to them since they had arrived to the artificial city. Although it looked logical that the city was empty considering that it didn’t have any citizens and the food supply in the canteen was also rational, the lack of instructions bugged him as if something had been off, as if the simulation hadn’t gone as planned. They should have found at least a video or audio file by now that could have help them step on the appointed path, shouldn’t have they?

Sharply turning right, Seokjin was so immersed in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice that Jungkook’s firm body stopped dead in front of a glass wall that separated them from a well-equipped laboratory full of huge, white cabinets and tables, papers laying in piles on their titanium surface. 

‘Look! There’s a computer,’ Jungkook spoke up, his index-finger pointing at the electrical device in the left corner of the room. He didn’t hesitate, not even for a moment, as he lifted his bracelet in front of the small control panel on the right side of the door with a victorious smile on his face, demanding entrance which he got after a few seconds of complete silence. ‘Cool.’

When the boy stepped inside the lab, Seokjin grabbed his sister’s wrist, looking deep into her eyes, searching for some kind of confirmation in them that she knew what she was doing and she wasn’t so impatient to follow the raven-haired boy inside the room because she was indeed attracted to him as Taehyung had suggested approximately ten minutes ago. Not that he had problems with Jungkook as a person because he seemed like a really nice guy but the fact that he had let Sooyoung stuck inside their dormitory didn’t make him the most reliable fellow. He didn’t want Yerim to be used by some guy who was mostly alluring because of his distant behaviour. He was familiar with young adult books, he knew that these kind of boys always got the shy girl in town. 

Yerim pulled her arm out of Seokjin’s grab and walked inside the laboratory soon followed by the rest of the team except Taehyung who refused to play by Jungkook or anyone else’s rules. He leaned against the glass wall from the outside and shot an ill-wishing smile at the eldest when he gave in to her sister’s wishes and crossed the threshold as well.

Since her steps came to a halt a few inches from Jungkook’s back, Seokjin walked to the computer, too, while the others opened the cabinets and the hidden drawers that they couldn’t have seen from the hallway. Joohyun and Namjoon made themselves busy with the printed papers on the tables.

‘Honey, could you take a look at these reports? It’s absolutely Chinese for me but you might be familiar with the ingredients in the right corner. They sound pretty medicine-like,’ he mused, looking at the said girl from above his shoulder, watching her as she put a tiny phial filled with some blue fluid back to its container.

‘Just a sec,’ she replied and slid the glass door back to its frame, paying close attention not to break anything inside.

As she step behind her boyfriend and took the paper out of his hand, Seokjin’s gaze glided back to the computer’s screen. Honestly, he didn’t understand a single thing but Jungkook’s clicks were so firm and confident that he put his trust in his knowledge without thinking. He opened then closed some folders, pushed the keys on the keyboard, furrowed his brows and started everything all over again until a stubborn window blocked him from further investigation and after a careless right click, everything went black.

‘What happened?’ Yerim asked, curious, leaning a tad bit closer to the blank screen and so to Jungkook without thinking twice. As her nostrils got filled with the boy’s characteristic scent that was definitely stronger and manlier than she would have thought, her whole face turned ruby red and she stepped backwards so hastily that she bumped into her brother’s shoulder. Seokjin rolled his eyes but didn’t make a comment on her obviously awkward behaviour. No, he turned towards Jungkook instead, waiting for his reply.

But that answer had never come as the door that allowed them to leave the room started to move, fast. 

‘Everyone! Get out of this room! Now!’ Seokjin shouted as soon as he caught a glimpse of the closing exit, waving with his hands towards its direction as if his exaggerated gestures could have fasten everyone’s speed. But it couldn’t. 

Since Joohyun couldn’t handle stress and Wendy cared too much, Namjoon couldn’t pull them out of the room on his own because dealing with a mild panic attack and his stubborn girlfriend was simply overwhelming. He needed help and Seokjin was the only one who was willing to give them that extra hand. He ran towards his frozen teammates and grabbed Joohyun by her wrist. The eldest threw her arm over his shoulder casually then lifted her petite figure as he carried her out of the lab, letting Namjoon show him the way.

‘What the…,’ he heard Jungkook swearing as he accidentally crashed his shoulder into the glass wall, trying really hard not to collide with Seulgi who got to the door the same moment as he did. Seokjin rolled his eyes, panting, before he put the girl in his arms down.

‘Where is Yerim?’ he asked when he caught his breath and looked around, anxiety growing in his chest due to the absence of his little sister.

‘Inside,’ Taehyung stated with a flat face while he pointed at the girl who had seemingly frozen a few steps from the blank screen. Her gaze were cloudy, lips slightly parted with fear.

‘I left her with you. You should have grabbed her hand and pull her out, you selfish bastard,’ Seokjin snapped, screaming like a wild animal and the only thing that kept him back from slapping Jungkook’s face was the clinking sound of the closing door. It was already through halfway but he couldn’t stay still.

The boy ran back inside the lab and wrapped his long fingers around his sister’s wrist, pulling her towards the hallway like crazy but Yerim fell into her knees because of the sudden force and hit her head into the table, feeling the bitter taste of her own vomit in the back of her throat. She didn’t move until her brother helped her find her balance and pushed her towards the door. Three. Yerim finally took her first steps on her own, running. Two. Seokjin was so happy that his sister managed to reach the hallway in time that he didn’t notice the report that had slipped out of Wendy’s hand on the floor. One. Glass collided with glass at the same time, the young man’s butt crashed to the floor. Shocked, no one dared to say a word.

The relieved smile soon froze onto Yerim’s lips as she realized what had happened. Her whole body was a shaking mess as she turned on her heels and looked at her brother, stuck inside the lab. She put her palms onto the wall, tears blurring her vision.

‘No,’ she whispered over and over again while her spirit slowly gave up, knees fitting close to the ground. ‘We’ll get you out, don’t worry, okay?’ she promised, not knowing that the room was actually soundproof and all Seokjin could see was her sadness and guilt. So he smiled, crawling to the wall in his own pace. He didn’t have to be fast anymore, there was no need to rush.

Meanwhile Hoseok stepped to the control panel and lifted his own bracelet in front of it in vain. It didn’t work, in fact, it rejected his request more dramatically than he would have ever thought. It shifted red and turned on the security system.

Seokjin’s shoulders tensed as the ventilation system markedly stopped working and the air became heavy with an unfamiliar chemical product, something transparent with no scent yet with something that burnt his veins. He shook his head, leaning his sweaty forehead against the glass, and took a few swallow breathers as if it could have magically solved his breathing problems. It hurt like hell, moving his limbs, keeping his eyes open hence he stayed still, gaze fixed on his clearly panicking sister. She was worried, he knew it. She must have been already screaming for a while, making silly promises that she couldn’t keep. It would have been so typical of her. He laughed and his raspy voice echoed in the sphere as the world turned red.

Red walls, red people, red tears. Even the last memory that popped up in his mind between confusing, fading pictures was red, cherry lips sealing his mellow ones with the untrue promise of infinity.  

➼  chapter V.

#code zero #bts scenarios #red velvet scenarios #ssbyme #here's where the roller-coaster begins #thriller #futuristic au #poor seokjin #he was such a good brother

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids 3″ twice in one week and back-to-back throughout my childhood and here are my thoughts

whos gonna use 3d effects at home

up your prices

JUNI NO YOUR H A I R

hahah funney cuz he stepped in gum

its so quiet my volumes at 44 and its too quiet

the music sounds a little like isle of dreams from the last one

oh hes wearing the necklace!!

fun fact i hadnt seen any of rocky until freshman year and when i did i didnt know where i had seen that guy before. turns out hes the toymaker

juni dont ever step out of line for ANYTHING

buscemi!!!!

spider dude!!!!

ralph!!!!!

gerti!!!

whats up with the fancy pot. i hate it. doesnt match the aesthetic

if you havent seen her since christmas “last year” then that means you havent seen her in over a year. someone would have gone for her by now

shes NINE???????

“everyones your family” yeah no i dont want “everyone” in my family

“retired” youre ELEVEN

what was with that zoom in

“games and theory” dont you mean GAME THEORY

that dude looks like colonel sanders

ew its donnagon

oh shit mrs giggles is cute

v boxx???? ew

and i OOP-

i just realized theres been an “are you with me” type thing in each movie so far

why are there only five levels????? logically there would be one tutorial level, so you only get 4 levels to play on

he go ZOOM

looks like jumpstart

or reader rabbit

he can still use telepathy????

why is he carrying the coins???????? 

this guy looks like antman

he looks nothing like a toad

wait thats the floating head from sharkboy and lavagirl. tobias i think???????

so its hardcore mode????? just make a new account

they only added that for more 3d effects didnt they

this is just target smash from smash bros

the dark side of the moon doesnt exist stupid

youre TESTERS why are you trying to WIN

“knows karate”

when i was younger i was so confused why the time went down but now i realize that they actually had to GET grandpa

yeah well he DID deal with it

iron man? dont you mean valentin avellan?

i paused the movie for like 20 minutes to find my old spy kids 3d glasses and couldnt and now im sad

the dude in silver looks like this guy i know

juni is bumblebee

p r e d d y

he escaped by winning. if demetras so good, why is she still here???

WHY DOES HER MECH HAVE TIDDIES

“no ear biting” isnt that mike tyson

wait is the platform gyroscopic or not????? it is in some instances but not in others????

great job juni you killed her

i like the hippie one hes cool

nevermind hes lame

i like the killer guy now. chaotic evil

i think they legit used daryl sabara for the poster

i feel like i had junis car as a taco bell toy but it was blue

why would you listen to him

actually it IS a turbo boost it just turbo boosts you out of the car

wOah

oh no he died

why is grandpa so cool

according to my physics teacher that shouldnt work

why is antman helping you

these bikes shouldnt be working either

why would you have to lose a life to continue the race??? the fall is clearly implemented so why does juni lose a life???

why is there a COUNTDOWN

was there a time limit on the race??? i didnt pay attention

who are the dudes in the background

i never got the “atari-sega-nendo” joke until this week. i was a loser child

even if you dont shut it down before people get online its still gonna take them a bit to get to level 5, you have buffer time

“my cool” THATS👏NOT👏A👏SKILL👏

juni theyre already gone

wait thats illegal

“lava mountain” you mean a volcano??????

hahah l0zerz

awwwwwwwww

they stole tetris

oh my God its lego star wars

wait there are TWO characters in yellow suits you cant DO THAT

oh no she died

THERES THE ICONIC LINE

“dont fall in love with a game juni” WHAT ABOUT MINECRAFT

holy crap i thought that was loss for a second

“my feet stink” THATS A REFERENCE TO THE LAST ONE!!!!!

carmen!!!!

great job juni

because lava is COOL

the floor looks like 25 pounds of meth disguised as ancient aztec calendars

i was so confused as a kid because i had actual tinker toys and these weren’t it

i alwasy wanted to be the guys in the cells

i thought they couldnt help juni anymore????? why can they manipulate the game NOW

oh no have all died

nevermind

why are you always conspiring against juni???

haha gameboy

so apparently thats elijah wood??? dont know who that is but he looks like a rat

wow. inspirational.

is the guy like??????? really tall or something?????

oops

aww :((

what kind of advanced AI is this???? developing feelings???

yes you can youre literally just code

awwwwww

you may not be smart but you have g r e a t fashion sense

its called virtual reality look it up

i love this part because hes working so hard but then his kids are calling so he just… goes

also why did they reapprove this program

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN THEYRE PRETTY IMPORTANT

you dont have to BREAK IT you could just LEAVE

SEE YOU A R E THEIR UNCLE

nice hair ingrid

machete!!!!

F L O O P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE👏THAT👏DUDE👏

and minion i guess

oh!!!!! floops wearing the good coat!!!!!!! he better run!!!!!

SOMEBODY RING THE DINKSTER??????

romero!

didnt you specifically say “im no loon” in the second one????

whats with the fist bump sound effect

hmm i wonder who

he go ZOOM

you can still????? go to a wedding????? in a wheelchair???? like i can assure you thats a thing

also its canon that at this point that ingrid is less than 30. carmen is 14. that means ingrid was 16 when she had carmen, and we know she was married beforehand

the toymaker isnt allowed to be family yet

YES!!!!!!! FLOOP IS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD THERE WERE NO SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS D:

OH!!!!!! INGRIDS FAMILY IS AVELLAN BECAUSE THE OTHER PRODUCERS LAST NAME IS AVELLAN!!!!!! nice

alexa vega went so hard for the song in this one i love it

wait now i have to review the fourth one oh NOOOOO

#spy kids #spy kids 3 #spy kids 3d #spy kids game over #spy kids 3 spoilers #spy kids spoilers #spy kids 2 spoilers #juni cortez #carmen cortez #gregorio cortez #ingrid cortez #fegan floop #the toymaker #alexander minion #romero #gary giggles #gerti giggles

[sandwyrm]

TL;DR melancholic rant on why I took the writing in WoW so badly this year just to get it all out and finish my fucking five stages of grief spin routine.

Gonna read more it, it’s probably gonna end up super long and unedited really so don’t feel obligated to read lol

     I am one of those losers that has been with Warcraft for the whole 25 years. I watched the company grow from “check out this FULL GAME coming with this gaming magazine! it’s called Warcraft: Orcs and Humans!” to being the biggest MMO around and celebrating 25 years while the world is burning.      And when I was younger, it was perfect. It had everything. Nice gameplay, cool and funny voices, decent graphics for its time, cool models, and it started having a story too. Perf! 

     I never got along well with my brother, but by the gods the only fond memories I have of him are centered around Warcraft. Watching him play WC1. Him teaching me to play WC2. Me playing WC3. Him leaving our abusive home to hide out in internet cafes, and my parents sending me to look for him, and us just staying in there for hours, me watching him play WC3. Fond memories of us getting our two toaster computers hooked up for LAN to play WC over it.

     Then WoW came, and my brother first got us an US account - it was impossible to play cross-region back then, our lag was immense, in the thousand of ms on a good day. So then an EU account. First rolled on Sylvanas, one of the biggest servers back then, then on Twisting Nether. I would skip school just so I could play because my toaster wouldn’t run it, only my brother’s computer, so when he was at work I’d be skipping high school playing WoW (I did fine, don’t worry). I invested so much time into my vanilla account it’s surreal. I wouldn’t be shocked if I found out it has more /played than the rest of my life in the game.      I met my ex on TN. I still have my vanilla account and characters on EU TN. The relationship with my ex doesn’t matter, it was abusive, toxic, I was a dumb optimist that stayed in it, doesn’t matter. He tried to get me to stop playing WoW. I still remember many instances when he went off on me for seeing me online, it’s 5 years since I broke up with him and like 8 since I stopped playing WoW with him and my heart still skips a beat when I get a whisper or hear the guild member login sound. It was that bad. He sure did his best to make me play the game only with him, “because he didn’t trust me and I would cheat on him through the game” - guys, if any of you are in this boat, please please please, put your foot down or break up. Your interests should be sacred and respected, as should be your entire person. But I digress.

     Instead of breaking up, I went the mature route of buying a US license, and playing it while he was at work or I was visiting my parents. I rolled on a RP server for the first time ever, and it was probably the best decision of my life, so, gotta thank my abusive ex for that. I met many wonderful people, have many wonderful things on that account, and another 7 years of wonderful things on my EU account.

     Then, the community itself. I hate it. Believe me, I hate the playerbase and fanbase of WoW with a burning passion. But at the same time, I have met amazing, wonderful, intelligent, friendly people I love and respect and wish the best for (if you’re reading this you’re part of this, yes, don’t let your brain trick you into thinking you’re a horrible person lol).      This is another fun arc. I started in the cringe culture. OCs are lame, who makes OCs lol. Then I became, I make OCs and cringe culture can die. Same with characters, but it’s different there. Oh, so different.

     See, I began by loving the obvious characters - Thrall, Jaina, Sylvanas, Tyrande, Malf, the works. I didn’t even like Garrosh much as his arc was unfolding - between the thing with my ex, quitting Cataclysm, changing regions and restarting, I didn’t really have a chance to dwell into him fully. He became a villain and I was all yeah okay. Iguess.jpg. I even wanted him out of the story at his peak edgelord moments because I liked Anduin more obviously. WoD was something I did not process almost at all because I was high on a cocktail of pain meds and post-partum depression and sleep deprivation. Legion was pointless bullcrap in my eyes on the main story factor, and I sort of enjoyed BFA until the whole Saurfang sucks Sylvanas fucks deal in the writer dept and fandom.

     Deciding to finally read the novels I had missed out on, and reading War Crimes, was what propelled me into “hahahahahah these idiots actually acquitted Garrosh of crimes in this book? Are they for fucking real?” and actually realizing the entire arc was a complete mess, BFA is a mess, the writer dept is a mess, and suddenly, I had no footing to stand anymore. A spit in the face, and then it overlapped the Saurfang hErOiC sAcRiFiCe special edition. I sort of had a breakdown and I hid it behind “well Saurfang was hot lol now I don’t have my orc grandpa anymore” but it was deeper than that.

     See, when we get into a setting, we have this selfish expectation that it will grow with us. That it will mature with us. Keep up with us. That we will always enjoy this setting, definitely not as starry eyed as we did as children, but that it will always be good. ATLA is a great example. Dragonlance is still good. Star Wars may be hammy and have tons of issues now as an adult, but it’s still good.  But Warcraft was my lifeblood for 25 years.       And to know that not only it did not grow with me, but it regressed beyond belief, destroyed me in a strange sense. Kind of like losing a friend, a family member. They didn’t just kill Saurfang for me, the setting died with him as far as I’m concerned. Because he was the last bastion of what interested me in it. 

     I am that weirdo that loves, loves, war movies and books. I devour them. That was part of my downfall, and the writers and fanbase of WoW so often make it feel like it is, somehow, MY FAULT (just like Garrosh getting backstabbed repeatedly was his fault I guess?)       It feels like it’s my fault that I care about weird things like the Geneva Conventions, and the Paris Conventions, and so on and so forth. It feels like I’m the idiot for knowing basic military tactics and conventions. It feels like I’m the idiot for wanting WARcraft to, at all, even a little bit, bear any resemblance to real wars, to real military tactics, to genuine war stories with genuinely well written soldiers. In my folly and pride, I forgot it’s first and foremost, a fantasy setting, a simplistic one at that.

     It insulted me these guys can’t even google what consists a war crime. It insults me to my core these guys paint the ONE (1) character who goes all “hey maybe.... weird concept but..... maybe not kill kids, or torture prisoners, or kill unarmed soldiers and civilians. Maybe show COMPASSION”, that this guy had to go. It also insults me the only other character who listened to him - Garrosh, yes - was written as the setting’s biggest fucking villain to this day, and it needed some real fucking propaganda and twisting of the OBJECTIVE narrative to get that to pass, and yet it successfully passed by so many, including myself years ago as it unfolded. 

     At this point, it’s insulting to see the same themes - mentally unstable or hurt people deserve to suffer and die, there is no happiness because happiness and happy endings are for toddlers, we are just edgelords jacking off to our self inserts, world isn’t fair because real world isn’t fair anyway kiddo grow up, and what the fuck is honor even we just make it up no? Also objective facts and lore? Fuck that who cares lmao.

     Here’s the deal. 

     War stories NEED hope. I can handle watching a whole regimen be killed in brutal ways in war, because REAL war stories always leave you SOMETHING at the end that was worth the whole pain. In a REAL war story, perhaps Saurfang would have still committed suicide by proxy in front of everyone, but people around him would have actually then gone and maybe fucking went “you know what he was correct. Let’s write the Geneva Conventions.” In a REAL war story, it would have been handled so much better. And perhaps, in a REAL war story, he would have survived. With so much loss, so much pain, and yet - with HOPE. Hope, for HIMSELF, for the future. Not the generic bullshit hOpE they tried to write into him. yOu CaNt KiLL hOpE.......      Yes, you can.       You fucking can.      By killing off the last fucking character in the setting that cared about actual military honor (not just the buzzword it is in this fandom and setting), the last fucking character that cared about tomorrow, about fighting for a better world.      That’s how you kill hope.      And in my eyes, they did so damn well.

     Because I don’t want to sit around and be insulted for another 25 years that I’m the only idiot who expects tactics, honor, a good outcome, a hopeful ending. Because I have reached the point I hate being in this game only to hear sTrEnGtH aNd hOnOr when it literally means nothing. Because I reached a point I hate watching the double standards they apply to their precious babes while the minor characters get thrown under the bus for way less. Because I reached a point where the fandom trying to go all “but Alex, someone has to set a precedent for a war crime trial!” means jack shit when nobody ELSE has been tried for any war crimes AFTER Garrosh (which would’ve been PEACHY by the fucking way). Because I got to a point Blizzcon gave me goddamn anxiety every time someone IMed me to tell me an announcement, and I got to a point I blacklisted half the tags on tumblr because I walk in to read what my friends have been up to and some damn Discourse makes its way to my dash, only for me to find myself feeling stupid and in the wrong for liking Saurfang. Not even Garrosh, which I would admit is Problematic(tm) but goddamn Saurfang.       Leave it to this setting and fandom for making me feel stupid and idiotic and in the wrong for loving the goddamn war movie protagonist.

     And at the end of it all, after much debate, I don’t think I will quit the setting. Writers don’t care, about their lore, about their characters, about us. The other fans don’t care who they hurt with their edgy rhetoric, I sure as fuck didn’t when I was younger and dumber myself. I’m sure eventually the wound will close completely and I’ll dissociate again from the story and fanbase and enjoy the gameplay and my very wonderful friends. First step in that, just for me, is to not buy Shadowlands. The xpack after, perhaps, it depends. But just out of spite, I will be that one idiot who has a sub running but doesn’t give a +1 sale on Shadowlands. Just for myself.

     Second step...? Who knows.... Who the hell knows what tomorrow will bring... This has indeed hurt worse than anything in my life. I have been going through the stages of grief - jokingly or seriously - since 8.2.5 now (and a whole load of 5 months of pure anger before that processing Garrosh’s arc from an objective standpoint). I cried more over the death of Saurfang (and the setting) than over my ex of 10 years leaving me as a single mom, or over all my other relationships combined. I’m not ashamed to admit that even if it’s cRiNgY. Like I said, it wasn’t just the death of one fictional character, but the death of a setting I loved and grew up with. The final acceptance that there is nothing left for me in the setting that shaped my interests, art, writing, and all that. That my interests have gone too far in other directions - optimism, actual war stories, good stories, being a mature individual, acknowledging mentally ill or divergent characters and not making excuses for author darlings. It’s a weird thing... Like the final acceptance that I have lost what could qualify as a dear friend or family member. While they are still alive and interacting with me daily. Like a breakup. But way worse.      It is a pain I wish on noone honestly.      But I do hope against hope, like an idiot, that other settings, other writers, future generations of writers, will do better. I know they won’t. But I’ll take my sliver of hope.

     And if you read this far, I do genuinely hope the game - this game, any other interests - will keep bringing joy to you. And also, help yourself to a cookie. Thanks <3 I wish you a good day/weekend.

#salt #negativity

[ua-himiko]

x9.18

@ua-touya 12:42 PM

damn, you hero school brats really are sure of yourself, huh?

ua-himiko 12:44 PM

you have no right to try and look down on us when you cant even take five minutes out of your busy schedule to help someone who is supposed to be your FRIEND

ua-touya 12:45 PM

listen, if i could have helped you, i wouldve, alright?

ua-himiko 12:45 PM

whatever

ua-touya 12:46 PM

yeah, whatever.

@ua-todoroki 4:14 PM

Wtf.

ua-himiko 4:15 PM

what

ua-todoroki 4:15 PM

Who are you.

@ua-chargebolt  4:15 PM

What just... happened?

ua-himiko 4:16 PM

lol ypu

ua-todoroki 4:16 PM

Great answer.

@ua-stopwatch 4:16 PM

lots of things happened, kaminari

ua-himiko 4:16 PM

ew ur back

my names miko who r u

ua-todoroki 4:17 PM

Todoroki Shouto.

ua-himiko 4:17 PM

wha,,,

real funny haha joke but like actually tho..

ua-chargebolt  4:17 PM

Well. I figured that, ,Damien... I mean.... new people now? What's goin on?

ua-todoroki 4:17 PM

...?

Yeah.

That's who I am.

ua-stopwatch 4:18 PM

she waltzed in the chat and started degrading people last night.

ua-chargebolt  4:18 PM

Huh.

ua-himiko 4:18 PM

lol bro... i get it ur edgey lulz but lykeeee im not falling for that i wasnt born yesterday

ua-todoroki 4:18 PM

?????

ua-chargebolt  4:18 PM

Who... are you?

ua-stopwatch 4:19 PM

..

ua-himiko 4:19 PM

:/ i just said my name was miko... do i need 2 go full name or what

ua-todoroki 4:19 PM

[pic of his ID]

ua-stopwatch 4:19 PM

please. If you don't mind.

ua-chargebolt  4:19 PM

lol, Miko, sounds like the main character for some anime-

ua-himiko 4:19 PM

uh real cool prop i guess I LUV ANIME xD

ua-todoroki 4:20 PM

Wtf.

:/.

ua-himiko 4:20 PM

its a cute nickname tho rite???? lololol but yea its short for toga himiko yeah

ok i showed u mine now show me urs edgey weirdo cuz im not fallin for this troll attempt rite here

ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM

Why's that name ring a bell...

ua-stopwatch 4:21 PM

it does. Doesn't it.

ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM

What's the big deal tho, he already said his name...

ua-himiko 4:21 PM

eh i was on the news once it aint no thang we dont talk about that lol

ua-todoroki 4:21 PM

I already told you.

ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM

lol

ua-himiko 4:21 PM

bro...

ua-stopwatch 4:21 PM

Miko, what's your quirk if you don't mind my asking

ua-chargebolt  4:21 PM

I'm Kaminari Denki btw but like

what's the hangup about Shouteroki's name?

ua-himiko 4:22 PM

:/... its called TRANSFORM idk why that matters tho

ua-chargebolt  4:22 PM

are you a transformer

ua-himiko 4:23 PM

cuz like??????????? todoroki shoutos been dead for like half a decade or whatever so pretending 2 be some famous dead kid is fuckin weird and dumb like... hello

ua-touya 4:23 PM

what

ua-himiko 4:23 PM

eveyrone knows that its not new info

ua-todoroki 4:23 PM

What.

ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM

..what

ua-chargebolt  4:23 PM

HAH??????

ua-himiko 4:23 PM

????????????????????

ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM

he's not-

ua-touya 4:23 PM

what do you mean he died? how?

ua-stopwatch 4:23 PM

..y'know what...she might be one of the alternates

ua-chargebolt  4:23 PM

lol what kinda AU is this

ua-todoroki 4:23 PM

What the fuck.

ua-himiko 4:24 PM

like it was a while ago but like everyone knows about this so wtf :////

ua-chargebolt  4:24 PM

You uh... a zomble there Todo?

ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM

Miko, I can assure you, that this todoroki isn't dead

ua-chargebolt  4:24 PM

Physically anyway

ua-todoroki 4:24 PM

What the fuck.

ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM

like I said. Maybe an alternate?

ua-himiko 4:24 PM

alternate of what

p-mina 4:24 PM

oooh!!!! Like me!!!!

ua-stopwatch 4:24 PM

have you heard of the multiverse theory?

ua-himiko 4:25 PM

it was like a biiiiiiiig case his mom like went crazy and off'd him like bruh

ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM

W H A T

ua-himiko 4:25 PM

the what

ua-touya 4:25 PM

she what??

ua-himiko 4:25 PM

?????? hello

ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM

WHOMST?

ua-stopwatch 4:25 PM

the multiverse theory.

p-mina 4:25 PM

D:

ua-stopwatch 4:25 PM

or rather, the string theory

ua-todoroki 4:25 PM

...

ua-himiko 4:25 PM

fuckin google it oh my god cmon its like

h/o i'll just get an article this is so dumb

ua-chargebolt  4:25 PM

YOU google it...

ua-touya 4:26 PM

there's not going to be an article, batsy

ua-himiko 4:26 PM

dont rush me omg im working on it...

ua-todoroki 4:26 PM

Who.

ua-stopwatch 4:26 PM

in our string of the multiverse, todoroki isn't dead.

ua-todoroki 4:26 PM

Wait.

Wait.

ua-himiko 4:26 PM

u keep sayin multiverse like i kno wtf that is i dont even watch scifi im not a nerd

ua-chargebolt  4:27 PM

There's like multiples of... us

ua-himiko 4:27 PM

nothing is coming up ugh fuck u google

ua-stopwatch 4:27 PM

because in this universe, he's alive.

ua-todoroki 4:27 PM

[Todoroki is offline]

ua-chargebolt  4:27 PM

I mean, have you noticed anything else strange to you lately, Miko?

ua-himiko 4:27 PM

ur fuckin with me lol 'this universe'

ua-stopwatch 4:27 PM

no I'm not. I don't "fuck" with people.

ua-himiko 4:27 PM

not rly????????? kind of been busy havin the worst day evar actually

@ua-syren 4:28 PM

[iris is online]

is she gone yet?

ua-chargebolt  4:29 PM

Who?

ua-syren 4:29 PM

that other toga.

I blocked her so I can't tell

ua-himiko 4:30 PM

who what? oh fuck i cant see whats getting sent thats lame

tell whoever she better not be talkin SHIT

ua-chargebolt  4:30 PM

Chillllllll, Mi-channnnn~

ua-syren 4:31 PM

..you're friends with her now aren't you

ua-stopwatch 4:31 PM

it seems so, cohen

ua-touya 4:31 PM

jeez.. you kids really know how to attract drama, huh?

ua-himiko 4:31 PM

michan ^w^

ua-syren 4:31 PM

and who're you?

ua-himiko 4:31 PM

fuckin shut up bitch go away

ua-touya 4:31 PM

me?

ua-syren 4:32 PM

yes you.

ua-touya 4:32 PM

what's it matter to ya, kiddo?

ua-himiko 4:32 PM

lulz i like how poseroki stopped talking once i outed him on his sherade lol

knew he was full of shit

ua-touya 4:33 PM

i doubt he was faking

ua-himiko 4:33 PM

i wasnt askin U bitch

ua-chargebolt 4:33 PM

Who are you, tho?

@ua-kuroiro 4:33 PM

He's not faking, we go to school together

ua-syren 4:33 PM

don't call me that.

ua-himiko 4:33 PM

anyway real talk thats an important part of hero history you guys should reeeeeally know that if you're trying to be heroes....

ua-kuroiro 4:34 PM

I just saw him this morning

@ua-redriot 4:34 PM

hes a pretty cool guy!! Pretty sure hes still alive!

@ua-sakku 4:34 PM

Oh...is the new person a senpai?

ua-kuroiro 4:34 PM

He hangs out with monoma.

ua-syren 4:34 PM

no.

ua-himiko 4:34 PM

:/

ua-chargebolt 4:34 PM

He's definitely alive. Lil dead on the inside maybe but like.... maybe we all are at this stage so, valid

ua-touya 4:34 PM

seriously, why are you kids so curious about me anyways?

ua-syren 4:35 PM

because we don't know you.

ua-sakku 4:35 PM

Oh wait two people.

ua-himiko 4:35 PM

hes a loser forget him

ua-sakku 4:35 PM

wild.

ua-himiko 4:35 PM

he shouldnt even be here anyway go get some actual friends hoe

ua-sakku 4:35 PM

Woah, Miko is cool.

ua-touya 4:35 PM

im not surprised you dont know me...

ua-chargebolt 4:35 PM

Why're you so mad at him? What he do?

ua-kuroiro 4:35 PM

His friend isnt here right now.

ua-syren 4:36 PM

of course we don't know you. Are you going to tell us or no?

ua-kuroiro 4:36 PM

Well, one of them

ua-touya 4:36 PM

touya todoroki.

ua-himiko 4:36 PM

i licherally called him ALL NITE cuz i was like stranded in the middle of the road and he completely ghosted me out of NOWHERE like a bitch and then denied it all morning and tried to act like we werent friends so i GUESS we're not FRIENDS ANYMORE

ua-syren 4:36 PM

..

ua-chargebolt 4:36 PM

Touya what now?

I'm so confuuuuuuused right noowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

ua-todoroki 4:37 PM

[Todoroki is online]

..

ua-himiko 4:37 PM

which is why its a LITTLE FUNNY that ur sititng here defending ppl licherally trying to rp as your brooooooooooooooooooooo when im licherally rite here like honestly if hes just paying u guys to mess with me its a low fxckin blow

ua-todoroki 4:37 PM

You're not Touya.

ua-chargebolt 4:37 PM

Who TF is Touy--

Oh hey Shouteroki.... you OK?

ua-todoroki 4:37 PM

I don't know.

ua-himiko 4:38 PM

real talk im about to f x c k i n scream if you all dont stop MESSING with me GOD

ua-syren 4:38 PM

...I'm gonna believe Todo for now..

ua-himiko 4:39 PM

making me feel like im goin fucking crazy its rly not funny i hate this

ua-todoroki 4:39 PM

Touya's been gone for years. Idk. There's rumors he killed himself.

ua-himiko 4:39 PM

??????????????????????

ua-syren 4:39 PM

...

ua-touya 4:39 PM

ah, i was wondering about that...

ua-todoroki 4:39 PM

...

ua-himiko 4:39 PM

...

ua-chargebolt 4:39 PM

Michannnnn.... seriously, it seems liek you're from another universe...

ua-todoroki 4:39 PM

What's going on.

ua-kuroiro 4:39 PM

This shit's a lot, I'm gonna go spend time with my lizard.

ua-himiko 4:39 PM

but that makes no sense...

ua-syren 4:39 PM

the multiverse is back at it

ua-chargebolt 4:39 PM

You'renot crazy but damn this is

ua-kuroiro 4:40 PM

[Kuroiro is offline]

ua-stopwatch 4:40 PM

as Cohen said. Multiverse.

ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM

We've met alternates before....

@ua-ryuu 4:41 PM

whats going on

ua-redriot 4:41 PM

so you're both from a different universal ?

ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM

Like there's a version of me without a quirk and is in college...

ua-stopwatch 4:41 PM

ry. Have you heard of the multiverse theory?

ua-himiko 4:41 PM

this is unbelievable...

ua-ryuu 4:41 PM

yeah of course

ua-chargebolt 4:41 PM

Which means you're a version of someone we have here.... ig

ua-redriot 4:42 PM

..yeah

ua-stopwatch 4:42 PM

basically. It's not exactly a theory anymore.

It's fact. And our portion seems to be like the..middle ground of them all

ua-ryuu 4:42 PM

Ahhh

ua-chargebolt 4:42 PM

LIKE MIDGARD, OOH!

ua-touya 4:42 PM

well, the version of me from here is dead, obviously

ua-ryuu 4:42 PM

I was reading back, somthing about Todoroki-Sensei?

ua-himiko 4:43 PM

so ur gonna seriously act like this is a real thing, touya???

ua-stopwatch 4:43 PM

these new people are not from out universe. They're from another part of the multiverse respectively.

ua-ryuu 4:43 PM

Huh. Cool. If they weren't so mean I might talk to them more. @ua-himiko  see I can @ bitches

ua-touya 4:44 PM

it's not the worst thing to believe, i guess

ua-himiko 4:44 PM

fuckin congrats dipshit

ua-chargebolt 4:44 PM

I guess that makes Michan outta this world? 😜 👉👉

@p-ashido 4:44 PM

you're like me!!!!! That's so cool!!!!

ua-chargebolt 4:44 PM

haha...

ua-himiko 4:44 PM

this is so stupid...

ua-redriot 4:44 PM

this is so COOL

p-mina 4:44 PM

Do you wanna be friends? O:

ua-touya 4:44 PM

sounds like one of shimura's video games, but really it's not that hard to see...

ua-stopwatch 4:45 PM

...this chat is causing a major headache...

ua-himiko 4:45 PM

ten's video games are fucking stupid tho

no i dont wanna be friends with ANY of you cuz you're all dumb weirdos who wanna lie to me about dumb shit

ua-chargebolt 4:45 PM

Who's... Shimura....

ua-touya 4:46 PM

tenko shimura, he's a pro hero i work with

p-mina 4:46 PM

Whats your world like??? Mine is violent!!

ua-touya 4:46 PM

or... worked with

ua-stopwatch 4:46 PM

huh..

ua-himiko 4:46 PM

its the same world as everybody's, stfu...

ua-chargebolt 4:47 PM

Well... I've been given to understand that some universes are more violent than others... that's what Miku said...

ua-stopwatch 4:47 PM

sorry for being hostile towards you and Miko. It wasnt "cool" of me 

I'd love to hear more about your respective universes though

p-mina 4:47 PM

That was so mean :( It's okay though!

ua-himiko 4:47 PM

i don't have a respective universe. oh my god.

ua-touya 4:47 PM

obviously you do, considering i supposedly killed myself here and shouto's dead where you're from

ua-himiko 4:48 PM

...

ua-chargebolt 4:48 PM

I mean, we all have superpowers, is multiverse so hard to believe?

Maybe multiverse is osmeone's quirk idk

ua-himiko 4:49 PM

never heard of a quirk like that...

ua-stopwatch 4:49 PM

that's an interesting theory

p-mina 4:49 PM

that'd be scary!

ua-touya 4:49 PM

there's a lot of quirks we've never heard of before, that's the whole problem with em

ua-himiko 4:49 PM

...

ua-todoroki 4:52 PM

...

ua-stopwatch 4:53 PM

.

ua-chargebolt 4:53 PM

Are you OK, Todo?

ua-todoroki 4:53 PM

I hate this.

ua-himiko 4:54 PM

=_= don't exactly love it either

ua-todoroki 4:54 PM

...

It's insane.

There's so many...

ua-himiko 4:55 PM

...

ua-todoroki 4:55 PM

Why couldn't you have gone anywhere else.

ua-syren 4:55 PM

hey...it'll be okay

ua-todoroki 4:55 PM

Yeah, I'm sure a bunch of weird people from alternate universes running around will be okay.

ua-syren 4:56 PM

eventually it will..

ua-todoroki 4:56 PM

Lol.

Ok.

ua-himiko 4:56 PM

is2g i'm gonna start stabbing people if i hear the phrase 'alternate universe' again

ua-todoroki 4:57 PM

I'm gonna start stabbing myself if one more person has to make me say it.

ua-himiko 4:57 PM

do it then edgey bitch

ua-syren 4:57 PM

that joke is not allowed

ua-stopwatch 4:57 PM

Miko. Be nice.

ua-chargebolt 4:57 PM

Why does anyone have to stab things....

ua-himiko 4:57 PM

don't tell me what to do

ua-stopwatch 4:57 PM

-_-

ua-todoroki 4:58 PM

...

ua-touya 4:59 PM

it could be worse or whatever

ua-ryuu 4:59 PM

Well, this went off the rails real fast

ua-todoroki 4:59 PM

Whatever.

ua-syren 4:59 PM

it's not the first time

ua-stopwatch 4:59 PM

... yeah..

You're not wrong ry

ua-todoroki 4:59 PM

Message me if you want.

[Todoroki has left the chat]

#[[ ... so many names to tag ]] #himiko.log #touya #shouto #kaminari #iris #damien #ryuu #kirishima #sakku #kuroiro #pmina

[myrelevantwriting-blog]

The Wild, 18-Minute Ride That Is Daydream Believer: A Review by a Former Teenaged Girl

Every generation has its “coming of age” movie: the movie that sees its main character through the naivety of adolescence to a catalyst that makes them realize they’re *gasp* growing up. The ‘70s had American Graffiti, the ‘80s had The Breakfast Club, the early ‘90s gave us the tearjerker My Girl (I’m still holding that vigil for Thomas J). All of these films had characters nearly everyone could identify with. Maybe you were the Cameron to your best friend’s Ferris Bueller. Perhaps you knew exactly what Jim Stark’s deal was in Rebel Without A Cause.

But then, in 1998 came a little known short film with a character so damn relatable it brings up memories you thought you buried so deep in the soil of your brain, it could only be unearthed by years of intense therapy.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Daydream Believer!

Let me start off by saying when my friend Rosie posted this movie to her blog I had no clue what the hell I was getting into. The 1970s film grain and the awkward silence (save for the chirping birds) when we meet our homegirl Susan made me half-expect one of those “What’s Happening to my Body?” filmstrips they made us watch in the 4th grade.

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Susan. All my friends are getting their periods except me. What have I done to anger you so?”

Right away we know Susan is different. She does weird things like…walking (especially when she has a perfectly good Schwinn on the front porch).

God, look at this freak.

“Look at her using her legs for non-jump-rope purposes like a fuckin’ loser.”

So it turns out that Susan’s a loner because she’s always daydreaming about her fab marvy crush…because she’s 11 and this is what 11-year-olds do: daydreaming and hurrying home and catch her fave rave on TV.

To be honest I was expecting it to be Davy Jones...the pirate, not the Monkee.

Yeah, Little Susie’s got fuzzy feelings for Mike Nesmith of the Monkees, to the chagrin of her concerned-yet-not-concerned-enough-to-actually-talk-to-their-kid parents. Susan’s mom is looking at her daughter like she didn’t wet herself over Sinatra back in her day.  I mean, Susan can’t be that obsessed, though. She’s only got like, one album and a single pinup on her wall like she’s some kind of amateur. And she’s pretty reserved in her screaming at the TV so that’s considerate of her.

Her disappointment over lack of mammaries perfectly mimics Mike’s face which in turn perfectly mimics how I feel about this movie so far.

The film then takes somewhat of a weird turn and becomes from here on out a wild rollercoaster ride of “What the actual fuck?” We take a journey into Susan’s brain as she sees herself as a 45 year-old woman teenager, getting ready for her date with-…oh my God.

YOU DON’T SAY

I’m somewhat flabbergasted by their casting decision to go with a paunchy, late-30s Ashkenazi Mike Nesmith but whatever. I’m not gonna judge Susan. She’s 11. When I was 11 I wanted to hang out with Gabe Kaplan circa ‘75. It’s a weird age.

So after her date with Mack Nussbaum we find Susan back at school, going for one of her weird daydream walks and completely oblivious to a group of bitches talkin’ shit behind her back.

“I bet she doesn’t even listen to the Banana Splits. Dweeb.”

“Joke’s on you! Me and Marc Nesbitt are gonna go closed-mouth kiss behind the JFK Memorial Tree. Hope I don’t get pregnant!”

I’m not even going to comment on this next scene. There’s nothing I can add to how utterly perfect it is in its understanding of the pre-teen girl’s brain so I’m just gonna let the caps do the talking.

But trouble rears its ugly head in the form of Susan’s teacher, glaring at her disapprovingly and telling her she’s “a much better writer than this [homework],” before proving this to be a bold-faced lie as we cut to a scene in which Susan writes in her diary:

Mike is so beautiful. He has lovely brown eyes. His hair is so soft and silky. I want to run my fingers through his beautiful hair. He has a sweet Texas accent that is so beautiful to listen to. I could listen to him read a book for hours and hours. He’s divine enchanting!!!

This nonsense reads like a 1st grade primer. Girl, I know you’re 11 but this is clearly not your first day at the Mike Nesmith Rodeo. This should all have been covered on page one.

Also, I hope Susan asked for a thesaurus for Christmas. 

So homegirl’s studies are suffering because she can’t keep her mind out of Mike’s pants and daydreaming about going on a romp with Mork Nerfherder to the song Papa Gene’s Blues. As you do…

“Whatchu thinkin’ about?” “Oh nothing…just statutory stuff.”

…that is until your cockblock of a teacher calls you out for not paying attention and embarrasses you in front of the entire class (a situation I knew all too well, so I actually empathize with her here). Susan goes home to complain to Raggedy Anne and delve into yet another daydream in which Mike takes her home to meet “the guys.” Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what small town community theater actors they got to play the Monk-…..wait what?

They look as confused as I do right now.

After an awkward introduction to the roommates (we’ve all been there. College, amirite?!) Murk and Susan go up to Mulk’s room…

I’m suddenly feeling rather uncomfortable and it’s not for the severed clown head in the corner.

…where Malk puts on bossa nova music and they start making out…

Oh my God, No….

NO!!!

NONONONONONONONONO!

YOU’RE GONNA CUT BACK TO THE CHILD ACTRESS AND MAKE THIS MORE AWKWARD THAN IT IS?! WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Those lines under Raggedy’s eyes are from all the internal screaming.

No…………………….this is not how I wanted to die.

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN HALLOWED BE THY NAME….

…AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH….

HAS THIS BEEN A PORNO THE ENTIRE TIME?!

BRB SETTING MYSELF ON FIRE…

There isn’t a word for how unnerved I am right now, so I’m just going to make one up. I am extremely floopnozzled, I am totally and immensely…wait a second…

As I breathe a gargantuan sigh of relief, Bra-vo!

After Susan has finished violating her poor Raggedy Anne doll, her dad barges into her room and in a very ominous voice says they need to talk.

The clown in the back but on a brave smile but what his eyes have seen cannot be unseen.

They go to a parent-teacher conference to talk about Susan’s failing schoolwork and conclude it’s Mike’s fault, so they ban her from the living room and the TV. And for whatever reason I don’t quite understand, there’s a scene where Susan has to listen to her parents bone on the couch. I guess as part of her punishment? I dunno.

Girl, same.

EDIT: @legrandennui has informed me that it’s possible the voices she’s hearing aren’t her parents but her daydreams distracting her again. I still think it’s the parents, though.

And even though her parents think she’s obsessed with Mike and forbid her from watching The Monkees, her enabling Mom comes home from the grocery store and gives her flowering junkie a hit of the hard stuff via Teen Life magazine with the Monkees on the cover. I heard this was how Sid Vicious died.

At first Susan is overjoyed, until slowly her smile fades as she reads an article. She storms off into her room and screams at her magazine “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE MARRIED?!”

Lol wut? Child, where have you been? How are you going to be all up on Mike’s dick but not know anything about him beyond his brown eyes and silken hair? That’s like, page 1 in How to Obsess.

So we get one last daydream sequence in which Susan tells Mike she’s leaving him because she’s grown and wants to move on…

…which I guess in this case means getting back to her schoolwork and keeping her grades up…amongst other things.

“Wait, does this mean Shatner doesn’t make her want to bone? Is that the lesson here?”- @legrandennui

I’ve watched a lot of movies about adolescence in my years but this was the first one I’ve seen that had perfectly nailed it in terms of being a young girl with a fave rave. I had gone through nearly everything in this movie: the nonstop daydreams, the constant writing about the object of my surging hormonal lust, not paying attention in school, the concerned look from my parents, and I’m not ashamed to admit my pillow had gotten the Raggedy Anne treatment. My room was a bit more intense than that, pin-up wise but I can’t imagine they had a lot to dress the set with in 1998. This was like looking straight into my own past and as uncomfortable as it was to see what I was like from a 3rd party view, I have to say at the same time it’s incredibly amusing to watch someone flip out over a teen idol while sitting back with a knowing, sympathetic nod. 

If you want to watch the film it’s here on Youtube.

#The Monkees #Daydream Believer #short film