#merilwen like DOB WHAT THE FUCK

[writersstareoutwindows]

top ten favorite Oxventure episodes because I feel like it let’s go. og Oxventure only otherwise you know Lampblack Wedding would be top of my list, followed by whoever’s first to make a Victoria McClary supercut.

Heist Society: Fancy party is my be-all end-all favorite ttrpg trope. I have watched this one so many times I have portions of it memorized. It’s the first episode I ever showed to my partner. I enacted Bear Down Protocol in my own campaign.

Bride or Die: (gestures to all of my oxventure tag) Do I need to explain.

Watch Out!: Very long and very silly. Love to watch Luke go, and the others playing along. Love that Luke based it on a museum he knows and loves. Love just the entire concept of Hengist. and. Merilwen’s Microwave :)

Dine Hard: World’s wildest plan goes off without a hitch when that plan didn’t even have a defined goal. Luke and Jane roleplaying at the absolute top of their game. and. Liliana hot. I know she doesn’t melt a man til start of next episode but extra points for that anyway.

Squid Pro Quo: I Was There, Gandalf. The spiraling insanity of Dob’s social engineering feels like he’s the one succumbing to eldritch madness and absolutely nothing could be funnier. Peak shenanigans that not even the players are in control of.

Wedded Redemption: Who would’ve thought Aubrey the tabaxi would be so endearing! Hilarious to learn that Harry McEntire ended up there because the only request he’d ever made of his agent was to do a D&D show! Despite what Andy says I think the title pun is great! And guess what! This one’s also a fancy party!

Court in the Act: I will never be over the fact that Corazon egoed his way into being arrested. It was only supposed to be Dob, it was very explicitly supposed to be Dob, but Corazon made a bit of drawing attention away from Dob and Johnny immediately adapted the setting to accommodate. The bit about replacing their nooses with pasta makes me crave udon to an unreasonable degree.

A Fête Worse Than Death: Body!!! Swap!!! Johnny summed up the feeling with, “That’s right folks, we’re doing it!” Also, Corazon holding the Seal Gaiman plushie to ransom, and then just holding it, 10/10.

Exhibition Impossible: Can you believe it, another fancy party! Corazon does cool pirate shit and looks cool doing it. Dob briefly attempts PvP before straight up walking away from a man begging for his life. Egbert brains an old man with almost no prompting. Seal Gaiman is born.

Tower Rangers: Liliana :) The different levels of the tower, the different kinds of Clonebert, and the plan to create infighting are all interesting and entertaining. I love the inventive circumnavigation of all Johnny’s expectations and I love that they do it all just to avoid Liliana as much as possible, because she’s that fucking scary. Cloud of Daggers :)

#oxventure

[stickthisbig]

So! I've had longfic on the brain, so I decided to do a roundup of all my long Oxventures fic. Under the cut, you can find links and discussion to all my Oxventure stories and series that are over 10k words. There are so much more of them than I expected, but this is the fandom where I really started writing long stories as a default rather than an exception.

the deep (51076 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah, Barnaby/Lilith)

Barnaby has to get married precipitously, and that's how all the trouble starts. I think this is genuinely the best thing I've ever written? I'm my own worst critic, and I'm really pleased with it.

it's just the ride of your life (44690 words, Corazon/Prudence)

After an accident with a Wish spell, Corazon ends up as a cleric of the Yellow King. I'm hugely pleased with this story; it really gets in the weeds with D&D mechanics, and it was very satisfying. Fun fact: Drash and Malachite are characters my buddy and I played in a one-shot.

my name written next to yours (40061 words, Merilwen/Egbert, Corazon/Prudence)

Merilwen makes an error in judgment, and she and Egbert have to get married. I did not mean for this story to be as long as it is, but it's all for Popular Character Ilranos. I maintain Egbert's summoning is one of the best scenes I ever wrote.

The Alien (32446 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah, Kasimir/Edvard, Kasimir/Barnaby)

If the Hobbyhorses had a coin for every time someone was replaced with a younger version of themselves, they'd have three coin. These weren't originally meant to be connected, but it worked better this way. And of course, the most powerful force in all the realms is lesbian breakup drama.

high road (34273 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah, Barnaby/Lilith, Barnaby/OFC)

Kasimir, Edvard, and Zillah fall backwards into a relationship, and then they go into exile. All of my heart is already on the page with this one, so I will say instead that I do think that Marjorie and Claire became best friends, and Marjorie also calls Claire her sister, just to skeeve people out.

component parts (31429 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

Dunno what to say about this story, actually. It's the only story I've written where Kasimir is healed, and also the only one with a collaring scene. They aren't related.

the whole world hinges on your swings (21546 words, Purvis/Margot, Purvis/his DiJi girlfriend)

Margot needs stress relief, and Purvis readily volunteers. This was very cathartic to write.

no subtitle (20079 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah, implied Agent 47/Diana Burnwood)

Agent Z gets handled. A crossover with a fandom I know next to nothing about, but I think it went okay.

try (not) to see it my way (18767 words, Corazon/Prudence)

It has been 0 days since Corazon was last cursed. I really love "I could make him worse" sorts of codependent romantic entanglements in my stories. Delicious.

you're only as big as your battles (18083 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah et al)

Kasimir meets Edvard and Zillah at a dungeon. I rarely write modern AU in this fandom, but this was very satisfying to write. I really liked engaging with Kasimir as an old man (even though he's not old).

unembarrassed (16159 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah, Barnaby/Lilith)

Man idk what to tell you, Edvard's got a huge dick and Barnaby slut shames Lilith. I think initially these were meant to be unrelated, but they work thematically, I feel.

what I believe in I'd rather not say (15968 words, Barnaby/Lilith)

Barnaby doesn't join a sex cult that worships a snake god. I had a blast writing this tbh, and I still want to make Lilith's dress.

Hell For Leather (15574 words, Prudence/Dob/Corazon)

The gang has to go undercover at that kind of party. Sometimes you write a story because you want to wallow in all the sumptuous detail. Also I still think the youtuber clothing shop is fucking hysterically funny.

flawed (19511 words, Barnaby/Lilith, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

Lilith is absolutely heartless, until she isn't. I really liked playing around with the expectations of what it takes to be a dom in this one.

Deferred Maintenance (13842 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

They come back to Volisport and have to move on with their lives. I will make all of you love Gizmo or die trying.

downtime activities (13587 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

Kasimir, Edvard, and Zillah get stranded in a safehouse. I like this one a lot; I think I really captured the paranoia and stuffiness of being trapped inside for months. No idea why I'd be writing about that.

silver bells and shotgun shells (12575 words, Kasimir/Zillah, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

Kasimir and Zillah have a big/little relationship, and Edvard joins in. The extent to which Edvard absolutely commits to the bit is so important, and I never see bigs or littles in fanfic that aren't just daddy and baby girl.

pebbles on water (12297 words, Kasimir/Edvard/Zillah)

Kasimir leaves Volisport for Skovlan, or does he? This one is just so damn sad, and I wished dearly to make everyone sad with me.

Eye Opener (11377 words, Dob/Corazon, Everyone/Everyone)

Corazon invents pornography. I really wanted to engage with Dob as an artist, because I think he has this side to him that isn't quite so over the top. Also yes this is the one the Oxbox account reblogged the art of.

they never, ever seem to fit (11366 words, Brad/Killian)

Everybody lives, and Brad decides that Killian is his boyfriend. There is so much of me in this; I love mindfuck and the trousers of time and I am still extremely angry about how Michael Sam was treated. I may have extended this to 10k just to capture this one.

Hell Raiser (11127 words, Prudence/Dob/Corazon)

Cthulhu demands that Prudence give him an heir, Prudence demands that Corazon give her his genetic material, and Dob gets everybody out of it. My first fic in the fandom! Start as you mean to go on.

they all suppose what they want to suppose (10494 words, Prudence/Corazon)

Corazon has to go to pirate court and tells everyone that the crew are his concubines. I don't think fanfic has enough of competence kink Corazon? Corazon is a peacock, but he's also incredibly good at his job. So, pirate stuff.

#oxventure #oxventure fanfic #dreadventure #oxventure in the dark #fanfic

[starsandthorn]

HOW DID ANY OF THAT WORK

#personal stuff #thorn watches oxventure #NO WAY????? #i know realistically its bc. as a dm you never want to just shut down a players plans. esp when they have like no spell slots etc etc #but OH MY GOD???? #johnny giving the others opportunities to take lines from the other conversations YES #DOB .FUCK.. A. . #''how long's it going to take liliana to kill a dragon? one second?'' #merilwen like DOB WHAT THE FUCK #corazon fucking pull through with mage hand you love to see it #i did want to bite someone when egbert was like ''oh can i have some too'' and ruined prudence's plan i s2g #anyway dob as vocatus was INCREDIBLY funny when it wasnt incredibly stressful #''AH. BISQUE'' fuckign got me

[pananni]

Corazón: Okay, I'm gonna say it. You wanna know the one thing I'm scared of?

Merilwen: What is it?

Corazón: The people Dob doesn't like. Like bro, what the fuck did you do?

#incorrect quotes #incorrect oxventure quotes #outside xtra #outsidexbox #merilwen #corazón de ballena #dob

[oxventurequotes]

anyways uhhh here are some oxventure/oxventure in the dark headcanons bc these nerds have given me Actual Brain Rot. spoilers for most of bitd. (it gets Painfully character study-y at the end lmao)

the oxventurers just fucking Cuddling at night, at first for warmth but then they’re just like... okay guess these fuckers are my family now goddamn it time for the Cuddle Pile...

like, merilwen turns into a bear so they all use her as a pillow, egbert is like a heater (bc dragonborn obv) so he goes on one end and prudence goes at the other bc she's similarly warm (tiefling from hell). 

dob and corazon go in between them and dob is big spoon bc he’s super fucking tall and corazon will complain if he's not kept at a certain temperature bc under all the rogueish audacity he's really just a fussy poshboy

the blades crew most certainly do Not. have a nightly cuddle pile. yet.

but zillah and lilith have defo cuddled before... like lilith falling asleep on zillah’s shoulder bc she spent all night in the library and zillah saying “ah, sod it.” and letting her nap there.

edvard falls asleep at his desk so much it’s comical. like, every so often the crew will hear a CLANG! and then edvard Screeching because he’s fallen asleep with tools in hand, dropped them, and scared himself awake.

they have to check on him if he’s been quiet for a couple of hours because will fall asleep with papers next to candles and set the hq on fire.

barnaby coming home from “carousing” with algernon and the crew’s collective effort to tidy him up and get him to bed because damnit, barnaby, you glorious liability. 

him having a small drunk cry to lilith, zillah carrying him to bed, kasimir quietly leaving painkillers and water nearby (because nobody can know that he actually cares) and edvard infodumping to barnaby about his latest projects until he falls asleep oh my gOD

BARNABY TAKING EVERYONE SHOPPING. DRESS-UP MONTAGES. edvard gets a moustache wax and it is very cool.

spoilers for Murder at the Volisport Academy - edvard feeding lilith’s snake-hair little treats every so often. they can smell him through the hood she wears and sometimes you can see their little heads pushing against it to get to him...

the crew becomes a close-knit family very slowly

and then suddenly one by one they all realise "oh shit, i very suddenly give a shit if these idiots get hurt"

like, “oh no these idiots are my idiots”

lilith realises it first (i feel like she’s the most emotionally intelligent)

maybe it happens when zillah comes back from a prizefight really injured and lilith feels her stomach twist in a way it didn't before, or barnaby's shitty joke actually makes her laugh, or she finds herself interested for once in edvard's inventions or she stays up late w kas just Talking and doesn’t realise how long they've it’s been until she hears the birds outside and realises its morning, but she’s never felt more comfy

and maybe she doesn’t dread going back to the HQ for the same reasons

instead of worrying about the heist or the consequences of the crime ,, she’s terrified about her friends getting hurt and her face visibly twists when she hears herself think the word “friends” because oh fuck that’s what they are to her... shit.

kasimir realises next. they’re all down at the pub and and he looks across the table at the rest of them laughing at some nonsense and thinks “oh god, why these idiots.” because he’s definitely had a crew before and it did Not. end well. i feel like maybe true friendships are rare in volisport and kasimir knows this, but maybe he’ll stop watching for the knife in his back so much

then zillah. maybe she starts putting herself in front of the crew members in combat a lot more.

before if she could see a particularly bad hit coming she’d maybe take it instead, but she starts doing it for littler things or she's way more aggressive w people that threaten her friends because nobody threatens zillah’s friends.

and she’s fine with it. she’s got a huge family, she knows how to protect people. besides, it gives her something to think about that isn’t the violence.

like... i know zillah “loves hitting people so much!” but i also think that maybe she didn’t enjoy the person she became after particularly nasty fights. but she has something tangible to fight for now. 

edvard is last mainly because he never really thinks about people like that (or even himself). like, the person he gives the most thought to is definitely astor. his brain is like 90% innoventions and 10% Amadeus Astor Firey Revenge Fantasy.

but he’s constantly thinking about new innoventions and plans and tinkering.

like, you can’t hold a conversation with edvard for very long if there’s a machine in the room because he’ll get that far-away look in his eyes and you just Know that he’s thinking about how to take it apart and improve it.

i feel like maybe he does it as an anxiety coping mechanism sometimes too??? like unless he’s presenting an invention (aka infodumping) i don’t think he does well in big social situations with lots of small talk. machines are to edvard what a pet is to an anxious person at a party. 

kasimir (the most observant mf) takes notice of it quite quickly and suggests to him to think of people like they’re machines. small talk is kinda mathematical, it’s rather methodical and follows a pattern. everyone is just a wonderful mechanical man following their programming.

that, combined with edvard copying barnaby and lilith’s body language and mannerisms, makes social stealth a lot easier.

but he’s hanging around with the crew and realises that oh shit, they don’t make him feel anxious anymore. his brain is actually acknowledging the world around him for once. 

barnaby, however, never. has this big “oh shit friends” realisation.

not because he doesn’t think of them like that.

but because he’s always thought of them like that. 

like, he thinks that they’ve all been best friends since the beginning.

basically barnaby is a drunk golden retriever (so he’s a real-life booze-hound HAH!) 

he's just so excited about his "lovely crimes" and his proper crew!!!! his friends!!!!! he loves them. right off the bat. colourful characters and a change of pace and they’re just so much fun!!!!

anyway that’s all of my headcanons? character studies? projection?? idk

#oxbox #oxboxtra #oxventure #oxventure in the dark #blades in the dark #outsidexbox #outsidextra #dob #corazon #prudence #egbert #merilwen #lilith capellenaga #barnaby fortescue iii #zillah bruzaud #kasimir jones #edvard lumiere

[a-casual-egg]

Dob stands in front of the door next to his. The size of the door makes it intimidating even though what’s behind it is maybe the least intimidating person in the world. Maybe it’s because he knows him so well or maybe he knows if Egbert ever decided to fight the other members of the oxventure guild they’d probably be able to take him. Probably.

Dob breaths in and knocks on the door. There’s a tense silence for few seconds where Dob contemplates going back to his room. Then he hears the sound of feet hitting the ground and making their way to the door. The door opens to reveal a very sleepy Egbert leaning on the doorframe.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Dob asks nervously

Egbert laughs softly, “Dob, it’s the middle of the night.”

Dob rubs the back of his neck, “yeah, right”

“So, what brings you a door over?”

“Um, well,” Dob runs a hand through his hair. “I-uh-I had a nightmare and I was wondering . . .”

Egbert raises an eyebrow

“If I could,” Dob lowers his voice so it’s almost unhearable, “sleep in your bed with you?”

“I didn’t get that last part.”

Dob rubs his arm and asks, “Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Not making eye contact with the giant dragon man.

He goes to fiddle with his shirt while he awaits Egbert’s response and realizes he’s not wearing one when he pinches himself.

“Sure”

Dob’s eyes widen, “really?”

“Yeah, I don’t see anything wrong with it. Come on” Egbert motions for Dob to follow.

“Do you want inside or outside?” Egbert asks.

Dob looks over Egbert’s bed. It’s the only corner bed on Necropolis on Sea other than his. Neither of them have reached the apparently inevitable state of bed in the middle of the wall Prudence and Corazón talk about. Dob detests that idea.

“I’ll take the inside.”

“Alrighty”

Dob lays down and pulls the blankets close to him.

He feels Egbert get under the covers and hears him whisper, “G’night”

“Good night” Dob whispers back

Dob figured he’d be able to sleep soundly in Egbert’s bed. After all, the smell of smoke has become what helps him fall asleep. Albeit it’s not the best thing to help you fall asleep, but it’s what helps Dob. He thought he would be able to sleep if he sleeps next to the walking smoke machine, but he’s unable to. His heart feels like it’s beating out of his throat and he feels his face heat up unusually hot.

He lay there trying to figure out why he’s having these issues and his mind flashes back to Merilwen when she talked about Prudence before they got together. She said she always felt her heart rate jump when they would accidentally touch and her face would always heat up when she was near her. Oh fuck, is he in love with Egbert. Oh fuck, he definitely is.

Fuck, shit, fuck, he’s half naked laying in bed with the love of his life. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s not like he can just get up and leave. He’s the one who asked if he could sleep in his friend’s bed. He runs his hands through his hair to try to calm himself down. It somewhat helps but it’s all fruitless when an asleep Egbert turns around, grabs Dob around the waist and rests his head on his chest. Dob tries his hardest not to hyperventilate. He breaths in and out and flaps his hands until they feel like rubber.

He guesses it’s best to try and sleep rather than be stuck in his head all night. He leans into Egbert the best he can so he can be warm, as if the blankets don’t radiate enough heat and holds tightly on to a pillow. Somehow he manages to fall asleep.

The next morning he sits up and stretches. He briefly freaks out seeing Egbert asleep laying next to him, but quickly reminds himself of last night. As much as he would love to go back to sleep and cuddle up to Egbert he gets up throws on the closest shirt he can find and makes his way downstairs.

Corazón and Merilwen seem to be arguing. A normal sight for the rest of the guild.

“Mornin’” Dob groggily says

As soon as he says it the argument stops almost as if Dob pauses it somehow. Dob rubs his exhausted eyes and looks between his two formerly arguing guildmates.

“Dob,” Merilwen starts

“See! I’m right!” Corazón cuts in gesturing to the shirt Dob is wearing.

“That’s flimsy evidence and you know it!”

“Oh, I’m sorry but when we’re you the expert on these things?”

Dob slams his fists on the table and the other two quickly turn toward the source of the sound.

“What is going on?!”

“Ok, Dob where’d you get that shirt?” Corazón asks

Dob looks down at his shirt and sees that it’s got a cow on it. Not Le Vauche Mauve, just a cow. A cute one.

“Uh, Egbert’s room”

“And why were you in Egbert’s room?”

Oh! Uh”

“Did you sleep together?”

“Yeah”

Merilwen��s eyes widen and she looks between the rouge and bard.

“Dob! Do you even know what that means?!”

“Why do you not?”

“No I know, I just want to make sure you know what it means”

“It just means we slept in the same bed at the same time.”

“No. That’s not what I meant.” Corazón interjects, “I meant like, did you and Egbert . . . yknow do it?”

“Do what?”

“Yknow, it?”

“I don’t know Cor. What is it?”

“It doesn’t matter. why were you sleeping in Egbert’s bed?” Merilwen asks

“I had a nightmare and I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Oh”

“But now I’ve got a bigger problem than nightmares”

“What’s your problem, Dobbo? Corazón asks

Dob squints at Corazón, but responds, “I’m in love with Egbert.”

“That’s not a problem dude! That’s great news!” Corazón responds

“Yeah it’s great to be in love” Merilwen adds

“Well yeah, but what am I gonna do?”

“You gotta tell him.”

“No, too much can go wrong.”

“Since when do you care about what can go wrong?” Corazón asks

“Since we’re talking about me possibly confessing my love to my best buddy.”

Merilwen opens her mouth to say something most likely reassuring but closes it at the sound of Egbert’s voice.

“Prudence, what in hell are you doing!?”

The others see Prudence come down the stairs carrying components for rituals and spells followed by Egbert carrying more components. Egbert goes to follow the warlock out the door but stops to look at Dob,

“Nice shirt” Egbert says before turning around and following after Prudence.

“Thanks” Dob says giggling a little too much.

He freezes and turns to Corazón and Merilwen, “what am I gonna do?”

#oxventure #corazón #corazón de ballena #prudence #merilwen #dob #egbert #egbert the careless #dob x egbert #dobbert #collateral damage #supportive boyfriends #merilwen x prudence #demonwoods #Egg writes

[workingonit-currently]

More templates and graphs because I’m bored.

AGAIN: By the way, I do not claim these templates or pictures of characters. Credit due to the creators, this is just a bit of fun and is meant to represent the images and headcannons I have in my head, not the actual characters or their creators.

(WARNING FOR ADULT THEMES, MENTIONS OF GAY-NESS, SWEARWORDS, FICTION AND GENERALLY PLEASE DON’T HATE ME FOR THESE, IF THESE OFFEND OR ANNOY YOU CONTACT ME IN A CIVIL MANNER, I AM ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE MY FAULTS.)

(*Puts on thin rimmed glasses,* As we can see, no one is 100% except Egbert though Cor is most likely to tell Kyle to ‘step the fuck up’. Interesting results indeed.)

(You know..I don’t actually know what a ‘thot’ is so please excuse my-..just searched it up...that seems about right...right?)

DOB! Dob...y-you can’t do that...

(Cor doesn’t mess around. “I have to power of GOD AND Anime on my side!” -Merilwen.)

#oxventure #outside xtra #outsidexbox #outside xbox #dob #corazon #corazón #egbert #prudence #Merilwen #outsidextra #scientific #all very scientific

[moreaugriffins]

The one where Corazon is sad

A/N- tried to write a fan fiction based on @workingonit-currently ‘s hc on how the oxventurers acted when they were sad. 

Warnings (just incase): there’s cussing, Corazon is an asshole to Dob, Lord Milquetoast being a not good father

It was odd seeing Corazon acting like this. He never went along with stupid impulsive plans usually made by either Dob or Egbert. Well, never was a stretch, but when he was sober, he did not go along with the plans.

However, Corazon hadn’t been drinking, yet when Dob suggested a ‘who could climb this random tall tree the fastest’ competition, he was the first one to agree to it. Prudence tried not to worry about it. So what if he was a bit more impulsive than usual? He would get hurt, and learn not to do it again. Simple.

But that paired with the fact that Corazon has also been too casual. Spending his own money, and spending more than what is needed. Swearing more often than he normally would. Grabbing one of the others arms, or hugging them, or wrapping his arm around their shoulder. If Corazon’s sudden willingness to go along with their plans didn’t raise any red flags, his sudden physical affection certainly would.

Prudence watched as Corazon tipped the bartender, noticing that he tipped more than he needed to. It seemed Dob also noticed, as the half orc nudged him.

“That was a lot of money you just tipped there buddy.” Dob chuckled, finding it somehow funny in his drunken state.

“Did I,” Corazon furrowed his eyebrows, before shrugging,”of course I did. He made a damn fine grog.”

“Are you feeling ok?” Dob asked, now more concerned about the pirate, but Corazon drank his grog, with a small smile.

“Of course I am.”

Prudence frowned to herself. His response seemed incredibly fake, it was almost laughable, but Dob didn’t push any further, which she admitted was probably the best thing to do.

Corazon’s mood increasingly got worse as time went on, and Prudence had started to wish that Dob had pushed for a proper answer from Corazon, or maybe if she did. But that would mean she’d have to admit to eavesdropping on a private conversation.

Now he was permanently irritated at any and everything, which had started to affect the mood of the group. He had started fights with each and every one of his friends, usually ending with either a door slamming or someone (probably Merilwen or Dob) crying.

Having agreed to spend the night on the Joyful Damnation, Prudence, Merilwen and Egbert listened as Dob played his selection of songs, including the lullaby he heard from his sister. He played it often enough for the group to know the lyrics, and it became their go-to sing along song.

Dob strummed some chords on his lute, singing, ”hey now hey now,” before the others joined in singing, to various degrees of success.

“Will you stop with this racket?” Corazon grunting. Prudence was surprised that she had not heard the door open.

“Cor! Come join us!” Egbert patted an empty space next to him, excitedly, oblivious to the scowl on Corazon’s face.

“And listen to this shit melody? I’d rather fucking drown.”

The sound of chords stopped. That clearly struck a nerve in Dob, which made her wince. She may be mean, but even she wouldn’t have made a comment like that. What had gotten into him?

“Bloody hell Corazon,” Merilwen did not look happy, and rightly so,”That’s Dob’s sister’s lullaby. How could you say that?”

“Ah yes, the sister that essentially abandoned Dob,” Prudence glanced at Dob, who stared at the wooden floorboard, clearly trying not to cry,”The one that fucked off to god knows where, to get away from young Dob after he was infected. You mean that sister?”

Egbert slowly pulled Dob into a hug, noticing how his shoulders were shaking. Prudence was glad that Egbert was taking care of Dob. She had no idea how to handle people when they are crying. However, she did know how to handle angry people.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Merilwen was quicker.

“How dare you. You had no right to say that,” it felt weird seeing Merilwen being angry over something that has nothing to do with animals,”You are an absolute arsehole.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Just fuck off will you? If you’re not going to apologise to Dob. Get yourself drunk by yourself.”

“Fine, I will.”

“Fine.”

And like that, he was gone.

Prudence glanced at Dob, who was appreciating Egbert's hug, then to Merilwen. She was starting to calm down, slowly.

“Corazon was being horrid, but i don't think you should have reacted like that.” Prudence said, and Merilwen hummed, biting her lip in contemplation. She said nothing though, instead, turning her attention to the half orc.

Corazon came back to the Joyful Damnation the next morning, suffering from a terrible hangover, and guilt. He tried to apologise to Dob, but it took a good few days for Dob to accept the apology.

It felt like things should have gotten better from there, but once again,  Corazon had only gotten worse.

Prudence was ashamed to admit that she did not notice that something was wrong, until Egbert had pointed it out one evening, whilst Corazon was locked away in his quarters.

“Corazon has been weird lately.” Egbert mentioned, earning confused looks from the others.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean.. He’s been wearing that same outfit for like, two weeks now, which he never does, I think.. and he’s spent practically all his time in his quarters. I’m starting to miss his outlandish behaviour.” Prudence furrowed her eyebrows. Was that true? She tried to recall the last time she had seen Corazon willingly spend time with the group, and seemed like he had fun, but she couldn’t remember that happening in the recent weeks.

He was no longer angry, so they all assumed that meant he was starting to feel better, but maybe that wasn’t the case.

“He’s a bloody idiot,” Prudence exclaimed,”um not you Egbert, I Meant Corazon. Why can’t he talk about his damn problems and work through them, instead of giving up like this!”

“you shouldn’t get annoyed with him, we all do the same thing, more or less,” Merilwen looked down at the drink in her hand,”but maybe someone should check on him.”

“I’ll do it.”

She went to his room, first thing in the morning, and banged on his door. She knew Corazon would be awake, and she did not care wether or not Corazon told her to fuck off, but it felt like knocking was appropriate.

She waited, but heard no answer, so she opened the door to find that Corazon was curled up on his bed, staring at his wall.

He did not acknowledge her. She huffed and walked over to corazon, standing in front of him.

“Get up,” She commanded,”You are going to get changed, and eat some food, and have fun with all of us.”

Corazon looked up at her, then away, shaking his head,”No thank you.”

“I didn’t ask if you can do it. I'm telling you.” She could not help but roll her eyes, as she opened up his closet, looking at all the clothes. She had no idea what to pair together, so she simply grabbed a shirt, trousers and boxers, before throwing them roughly in Corazon’s direction.

Prudence kept her eyes on the closet, until she heard the rustling of the clothes stop.

“This shade doesn't go well with these trousers.” Corazon mumbled, sorting out the buttons on his cuffs. He didn't seem annoyed though, it sounded like he was too tired to feel any properly, and Prudence hated it. Why didn’t he talk about whatever is upsetting him, then he wouldn’t be in this state? How didn’t they notice he was slipping? Why didn’t she try harder to help him, instead of stand at the fucking sidelines?

She took a deep breath. Getting angry would not help.

“Well at least they’re fresh clothes,” her eyes scanned over his desk, and she noticed his makeup collection. Corazon’s eyes were also on it,”Would you like me to do your makeup?”

She heard a barely audible,”please.”

She grabbed the eyeshadow palette and eyeliner before sitting down on the bed next to him. Corazon clearly needed a shower, so she shouldn't go over the top.

They sat in silence as she put some dark eyeshadow on him, before moving onto the eyeliner. Thank the lord corazon wasn’t his bossy self, or else he would have been complaining about the eyeliner not being symmetrical.

“I received a letter from my father.” She gritted her teeth, but said nothing,”turns out some people have realised that i simply changed my name from ‘de leon’ to ‘de ballena’. He’s not happy… about them finding out, and also what we’ve been doing. What I've been doing.”

“Who cares what he thinks,” she finished the eyeliner, and looked at Corazon properly,”He has no control over you.”

“You think I don't know that?” there was a twinge of annoyance, as he balled up his hands,”I’m a fucking adult, I’ve lived happily without him for years, yet his words still affect me! It’s crap!”

“Then you talk to us about it, you dufus,” Prudence ruffled his hair, which earned a scowl from him. She waited for an answer, but did not receive one. Even if he isn’t talking now, at least she got something from him. Now, to force him to look after himself. she huffed and pulled Corazon up. He made a noise of protest, but she was not having it.

“Egbert has made breakfast for us all so you are coming with me.”

#oxventure #corazon de ballena #prudence #dob #egbert #merilwen #dnd #meant to finish and publish this yesterday but writers block #I'm just glad that I managed to finish it

[bear-down-protocol]

Pecklash

Oxventure fic, posted in honor of Xtra’s third birthday! Note; This was written quite a while ago (July 2018, to be exact), so at this point I hadn't seen anything past An Orcward Encounter. As evidenced by the fact that Corazón doesn't cast Grease even once in this. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy! @outsidexboxofficial @outsidextra It was a warm summer's day, a gentle breeze brushing through the grass and trees and providing relief from the sun's rays shining down upon the earth insistently. Birds were chirping, their lively tunes the finishing touch to a serene and peaceful environment.

That is, until our heroes arrived to the scene, their purposeful strides chasing off the wildlife and their voices drowning out the rustling of the leaves.

"-let's take a break here."

"We've barely begun this quest," Dob protests, but his eyes are tracking the sandwich in Egbert’s hand closely, "I mean, we've only been walking for like 10 minutes since accepting-" the rest of the words were indecipherable through his chewing as he settled down onto the grass, stretching out comfortably.

The others follow suit, all of them either too enchanted by the nature surrounding them (Merilwen) or too excited about the prospect of food (everyone else) to care much about their quest at the moment.

"It’s fiiine. The dragon will still be there when we arrive," Prudence dismisses confidently, "I mean, the town probably won't be... but they're paying us to defeat the dragon, not to protect the people and their property. Loophole!"

That matter settled - dubiously, but settled nonetheless - they enjoy a quiet afternoon together.

Wait, no. That was some other group.

Of course they didn't.

They had barely begun to dig into their lunches when they were disturbed by a familiar sound; the clucking of a chicken.

Merilwen turned to glare holes into Corazón, her hair swiveling around with the motion. One of her braids hit her cheek with the momentum, wholly undermining the dramatic flair of it all.  "Don't even think about it."

Corazón seemed unconcerned about both Merilwen's ire and the increasingly loud clucking, looking up from his food just long enough to raise his brows.

"What? It's not like I go out of my way to assault chickens. It was pestering me! Besides, it wasn't even really a chicken, remember?"

"So... you kicked a man across the room for annoying you?" Dob asked.

"Huh. Yeah. That's... not really any better, is it?"

A burst of flame shot out over Egbert’s cheese sandwich - marking him the proud inventor of grilled cheese - as he joined the conversation with a, “wait, you did what?” Prudence got involved now as well. "No, no, that's way better, I approve."

Dob took one look at her wide grin and sparking hands and scooted over to Merilwen, then past her when she muttered "Now you think about the dangers of being within range."

"Point is,” Corazón interjected, “I'm not kicking chickens for the hell of it."

"Good." Merilwen said, tense posture dropping. That would've been the end of it, but - "You better not."

Corazón put down his food, slow but deliberate.

"Oooh," Prudence said, tail sweeping from side to side as she looked on in delight at the sudden tension.

Eyes locked onto Merilwen the entire time, Corazón stood up and walked over to the foliage, following the noise of the chicken. "No one tells Corazón de Le- de Ballena what to do." "Except his dad," Egbert snickered, single-handedly destroying any chance of Corazón backing down.

His leg pulled back and -- his foot found its target.

The chicken hopped around in affront, and a smug grin curled the edges of Corazón’s lips.  

Merilwen stood up. The wind picked up, blowing her hair back as if she commended the forces of nature to make it so. Her downturned lips accentuated the scar on her cheek, a stark reminder that for all her usual cheer, she had shed blood on battlefields - her own and that of enemies alike.

But before she could make a move - and before Corazón could even utter the words 'oh shit I fucked up' - a strange sound caught all their attention. Clucking, loud and chaotic as a flock of chickens descended upon Corazón, their beady eyes aimed at him and him alone.

"I've heard of this," Dob said in hushed excitement, "in the legendary folktale of Zelda."

His grin froze on his face when he got over his awe for long enough to realize the implications of his statement. "Corazón, look out!"

But it was too late. In mere seconds, Corazón was no longer visible, buried under dozens of angry, vengeful chickens. "What- guys! Help! Ow- no, bad chickens- ow, ouch!"

Without looking, Dob put his hand on Egbert's arm - previously lifting slowly as Egbert considered the bom in his hand, eyes already sparkling at the idea of lobbing it into chaos - and pushed it back down. Between the chickens and Merilwen, Dob wasn't sure who's wrath he wanted to avoid more.

"Woah! Those are some badass chickens." Prudence commented as she circled the fray - perhaps trying to find a strategic entry point to help, perhaps just enjoying the spectacle.  

"Guys! This is seriously hurting me!"

The real panic in his voice stirred Merilwen into movement. "I'm mad at him too, believe me, I am-" She said, making eye contact with one of the chickens, "but- he's learned his lesson. He's sorry. Right, Corazón?"

"Right! I am, I'm sorry! I will never kick an animal again! Unless they're being really annoy- ow! No, okay, I won't! I promise!"

One of the chickens - the one Corazón kicked, going by its slight awkward hopping as it approached Merilwen - seized her up. She had not yet started the ritual to talk with animals, but it seemed to understand her nonetheless.

"I'll make sure he won't do it again." She promised.

And just like that, the attack ceased. The chickens dispersed to reveal a disheveled Corazón who looked like he wasn't entirely certain about what the hell just happened.

Without needing to be asked, Dob strummed his lute in preparation of his healing spell.

"Thank you. " Corazón groaned. Then, as Dob's lute glowed blue, "wait, why are you healing the chicken first?!"

"You started it, and I'm kind of scared of the chickens... and of Merilwen right now."

"Yeah that's... that's fair." Corazón admitted, glancing down at his reddened arms with a wince.

Fortunately for him, it didn’t take long for Dob to work his magic, the gentle hum of a song flowing through him until the pain ebbed away.

The chickens didn’t stay around to witness it, their wings fluttering in the wind as Corazón’s injuries faded into nothingness.

And so our 'heroes' continue on their journey, heading off into the horizon, their voices - "why can't we ever have a normal picnic?!"- quieting with every step until the last wisps are carried off by the wind.

#Egbert the careless #Prudence the warlock #Corazon de leon #Corazon de ballena #Merilwen #my fic #oxventure

[apollos-favourite-bastard]

i noticed the people you tagged in your ‘new people to obsessed over’ post are in the story 😆 i just thought it was random names you chose for the characters lol. also, this story is your best in my OpInioN

Yeah, the gif itself is of Luke aka Dob. I’ve been obsessed with Oxboxtra for a few years now, but I was re-watching some old list videos and caught that line again, and- Wow. It was so fucking funny to me that I had to gif it.

I highly recommend checking them out here and here if you like gaming, and taking a look at their Oxventure episodes if you’re into D&D. They do lots of Let’s Plays and list features, posting at least one video every day except Sunday, but also live-streams every other Friday (Mostly, but sometimes things get hectic, and they don’t have one). Also, the Oxmas Challenges are my favorite part of Christmas since 2016.

Jane is arguably my favorite of the Oxbox bunch, because she’s this ultra-cool and gorgeous fashionista whose instagram will ruin your whole life, but she’s also a total nerd and a physics major who spends a lot of time giggling at her own jokes. She’s chaos in a bottle, and I wish she had a vlog so I could see her 10x more.

Andy is just a flat out nerd, and I love him. He’s like Tom Hanks in Big, honestly. He loves cowboys and spies and pirates, and basically just anything with a cool outfit and a gun. He’s the loudest and most boisterous of the bunch, which is hilarious, because he’s also the stealth master. Has definitely played Wonderwall at a house party at some point. 10/10, would scream if I met him.

Mike is arguably the biggest goof of the bunch, but it’s a really tight competition. Like Andy, Mike is also Tom Hanks in Big, but his obsession is with cars. He’s the racing expert out of all of them, but doubles as the guy who is going to, either intentionally or unintentionally, blow all your shit the fuck up. Except in Oxventure, because his bombs almost never do what he wants them to. Except the shield surfing. That was rad.

Luke is the one from the gif, and the closest to my heart, because he’s just a literally massive nerd. He’s an awkward and gangly eternal teenager, or probably maybe a shaved Bigfoot that was taught to speak English, and that just hits me right in the soul (He eats berries and mushrooms, you fool!). Also, he shares my immense and sometimes unhealthy love of dinosaurs, and that makes me love him 1000x more.

Ellen is the personification of happiness. She loves anything and everything cute, and will giggle for literal ages at a joke or funny moment. She’s got strong opinions, and that is fucking awesome, because she’s a 5′0″ ball of lightning that will fight you without any hesitation. Imagine a hamster who is equal parts infectious laughter and hardcore liberalism, and who is, at any given moment, probably engaged in a twitter battle with some idiot like Piers Morgan, and you have our blue-haired Merilwen.

#oxbox #oxtra #Nonald

[stickthisbig]

Kinktober Day 2

I wasn't feeling well so the big bang post didn't happen, but I did get this finished. The kink is titfucking, but don't get too excited, because this is thoroughly PG. I have a vague idea that this and several other days are going to be interstitials that hook up at the end.

"No," Corazon says. "Fuck off, that's not a real thing."

"Why would we lie to you about that?" Merilwen asks.

"You idiots tried to convince me that people liked it in the ear," Corazon says.

"We did do that," Dob says.

"We called it plugging," Egbert says.

"I maintain you still could," Prudence says. "You just need one person who's very small and one person who's very large."

"Yeah, but I really don't think you should," Merilwen says. "You're not even supposed to put buds-of-cotton-on-a-stick into your ear." She waves a hand. "Anyway, the point is, I don't see what's so weird about putting it between somebody's breasts."

"Everything," Corazon says. "Everything is weird about that. Why would the person with the breasts ever do it? That's not fair, making them do something they'd never get off on."

"This was a weird way to find out that someone who's this big of a narcissist harbors staunchly egalitarian sexual views," Prudence says.

"You've got it backwards," Corazon says. "I think everyone should be as selfish as possible at all times."

"If that's true, why do people give blowjobs?" Egbert says. "I mean. I don't give blowjobs, but that's in the interest of safety."

"Yeah," Prudence says. "Why do you think people do positions they don't like for people they do?"

"Where's the room for 'I'm kinda tired and I'd like to get back to my book, but I can tell you'd appreciate it if I said yes'?" Dob puts in.

"That one was very specific," Corazon says. 

"That's because it wasn't hypothetical," Dob replies. 

"I don't get any of this," Corazon says.

"You don't get any, full stop," Merilwen says.

"I've always been upfront about that," Corazon says.

"You got wasted at three in the afternoon and sobbed into Egbert's shirt," Prudence says.

"That's how my people handle emotion," Corazon says. "I'm going back to my writing."

"Corazon needs to get laid," Dob says, after Corazon stalks off.

"If you're so concerned, whip it out," Prudence says.

"He'd have a heart attack," Dob says. "What's plan B?"

#s does kinktober #kinktober 2023 #at some point I need to transfer these to the AO3 #but making everybody get 30 notifs seemed like a dick move

[stickthisbig]

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.

I think I was tagged by @kisahawklin and @cicaklah but I'm just now getting around to it. Truly I only felt like doing Oxventures, so here we are:

try (not) to see it my way

"Look, what if-" Dob says, "And I need everybody to be cool and not turn into a narc right now- what if we just drug Corazon and wake him up in the morning after the moon's set?"

No one says anything.

"I can hear you all trying to come up with a way to disagree with me," Dob says, "but the plan is watertight."

2. but you'll be rewarded

He looks to Egbert. "I don't know what you're looking over here for, mate," Egbert says. He waves a hand, indicating himself. "The ladies and gents alike go wild for these."

"These what?" Merilwen says, perplexed.

3. what happens in your mind

"We have to be strong, okay, Mumbles? The only way out is through."

4. The Futurist

He takes the jumper between his fingers and holds it out. "Odd to see myself in your clothes. A bit proprietary, isn't it, flying your colors?"

"Wait," Kasimir says. "Which one is the one being proprietary?"

"Don't see why it couldn't go both ways," Edvard says.

5. wild-caught

Merilwen lunges for him, only held back by the ropes. She's a druid of the Circle of the Moon, she's a hero in her adopted land, he cannot treat her like this and get away with it.

6. you at the Barricade, listen to this

Everywhere there is an Astor A, a Lumière L pops up in front of it, because that's the deal. They're partners now, 49 percent Astor, 51 percent Lumière. It is a hell of a Devil's bargain, but here they are now. They are the new Brighteners; they are the kings of Volisport.

Within a month, Lilith goes feral.

7. make up your mind to have no regrets

Long story, but in the interim, Merilwen dressed up as waitstaff, Egbert pulled the classic "I'm the religion inspector" routine, and Prudence just fucking walked in and dared everybody to have a go, which they so far have not taken her up on.

8. murder ain't your thing, you just shoot to thrill

"If anyone needs Mister Barnaby, he's in the toilets," Z loudly announces to the rest of the security guards. "Been in there for ages. Probably be in there another thirty minutes. Who knows? Maybe longer. No need for alarm, probably just an upset tummy. Shrimp? It was probably a shrimp. Horrible for you, shrimps."

9. come on, let's ride

Edvard laughs. "It's quite a funny story, actually. You see, I went into the control room, pulled the pin, put my finger on the detonator, and told them they had to let you go or I'd blow everyone to hell."

10. Hall Monitor

"I fold," Corazon says, standing up immediately and following Prudence, because his need to jump to her tune far outweighs the embarrassment of everybody knowing he is.

--

I think everyone's probably done this by now? But get down with your bad self if you want to.

#meme time

[stickthisbig]

Okay, so. I am finished with my name written next to yours, and I have things to say! I don't recommend continuing with this post if you haven't read it.

I basically started writing this story because I really loved Legacy of Dragons, and I came out of it wanting to do something with Egbert. I really like Merilwen/Egbert and think it's a super underrated ship, so this was the second? third? story about them I started. Especially as Egbert matures, the position of the two of them of the reluctant moral backbone of the group has real potential.

I have been mad at Dob for a while over Liliana and Katie and also Liliana and Katie. I'm at a phase in my life where I have no time at all for villain fucking, and I can't interpret what Dob did to Katie as anything but hideously sad.

(I'm under the understanding that something happened with Liliana this season but. I'm behind because I've been spending all my time writing this story.)

So what happens to Dob here is not punitive; it is a gift. Would that someone could rewrite it like that for me, bestow the freedom that comes from not falling in love with everyone. I can't have that, but at least I can give it to Dob, because I get really furious at fictional characters whose ills I relate to.

It's a Prudence/Corazon story because OTP, motherfuckers. Competence Kink Corazon for life.

This story is also my love letter to a kind of fanwork that I think is fading out? I thought repeatedly that this is the story I'd have written in 2004- big, broad story beats, lots of movement and action, huge set pieces, really ridiculous payoffs- only unlike in 2004, I'm actually a pretty good writer? The whole climactic fight sequence is something drawn straight off of the kind of fic that would have done numbers on the Pit of Voles back in the day. The difference is that I deliberately set it up and built in the emotional scaffolding, instead of it being omg so random. Most of the chapters end with travel, because it's meant to evoke the breathlessness of that kind of writing, pulpy and serialized, with something always coming.

I feel like fandom is less and less interested in that kind of thing, with an introspective turn towards smaller stories, even if they're not shorter. Also most of those big stories weren't actually good, because if you don't do the work, you get something unreadable.

For all of those reasons, I think it's the thing I've written that's most like a season of the show. That's not a thing I've been very interested in in OxBitD, and my longest Oxventures story is about breaking up the band.

So yeah, pretty proud of it tbh. I think for the most part, it lands pretty well. I took some risks, but I think they paid off. I do have one last thing which was cut out because of pacing, so that may show up in the coming weeks. For now, a break.

(That's a lie. I started writing Edvard/Zillah/Kasimir on my phone this morning.)

#super cheat friends #s is writing

[stickthisbig]

I had to externalize these thoughts, so I wrote a bunch of words about why Egbert is a trans person. I don’t think there are any content notes, really, unless “TW: Liliana” is a thing, which it probably should be. This is a happy meta.

So:

Egbert's backstory is both extremely vague and very specific. Egbert used to be a male human child. When he was small, he left his family and began training to join the paladins of the Dragon D'or. At some point in this process, he went through something, and he emerged as a dragonborn. We actually don't have a super clear idea of whether dragonborn is a fantasy species in Geth, like elves etc, or whether it's always something you have to turn into.

So… I dunno what to tell you. That's a transition. Egbert was one thing that is considered to exist as a static category, and he physically became something considered to be a separate category. And not for nothing, but the other party members are all productive with other species. There's no half-dragonborns. You are or you aren't. Egbert wasn't. Now he is.

Egbert's body is positioned repeatedly as Other. It happens all the time, but it's easiest to see with the two people outside the party who try to get close to him. Merilwen's friend Adele, like the other elves, is a fantasy racist, and her interest in Egbert is 100% played as wanting to taste the exotic. It's unimportant that Egbert's kind of an idiot and maybe destroyed a lot of property. He's a body that she wants. It has this weird racist undertone that I really don’t like, but it echoes how (shitty) people desire trans people.

Liliana is. Whoo lord, what isn't Liliana. Her obsession with Egbert is very much physical. She thinks Egbert is the perfect specimen, and she hasn't really attempted to build Egberts to match his personality. Liliana sees Egbert as a body she can control, and as a body that is unique. She herself isn't human, but it goes beyond that; she won't give Dob the time of day, and Dob's not human either. It isn't just that Egbert is special. 

In the way that he is situated in the main narrative, Egbert is a unique creation. Egbert's body is weird; it spouts flame and is too hot and is generally inconvenient. Egbert is huge and unwieldy and awkward. He's dealt with the same way that trans people often are- out of place in their bodies, inelegant, problematic.

Here's why I need you to go with me on this characterization:

Egbert fuckin loves it.

Egbert loves being a dragonborn! Egbert's story isn't about pain or sadness. It isn't about being cut off from his family or from his human body; the great problem in Egbert's life is being cut off from the people who made him a dragonborn. Egbert is joyful! He's a complete doof who fucks things up all the time, but Egbert's happy. Haven't we been sad enough? Is it not wonderful to see this seven foot scaly himbo be delighted that he can breathe fire?

Choose joy. Choose Egbert. He'd choose you.

--

Caveats: No one is saying the team gets a bunch of brownie points for creating a trans character. I am of the old school and I root in dumpsters for chunks of characterization. Also I'm nonbinary, if that matters. I don't ID as trans or cis and I'd like to see you try and make me.

#oxventure #oxventure meta #egbert the careless

[a-casual-egg]

Does Corazon de Ballena is Gay

Dob: the rumor come out does Corazon de ballena is gay?

Egbert and Prudence: [laughing]

Egbert: I dunno know, does he?

Dob: Well, I uh-they said that to Merilwen!

Dob: So she went deeper down the rabbit hole and like read the article and sent it back to me and she was like “You’re going to want to read this.”

Dob: So, allow me to take the next 20 seconds

Prudence: uh huh?

Dob: to read you an excerpt from the does Corazon de Ballena is gay rumor mill

Egbert: [laughing] yeah?

Prudence: cause I’ve thought the same thing myself

Dob: yeah

Prudence: Does Corazon de Ballena is gay?

Everyone: [Laughing]

Egbert: I have to know. I doeses have to know.

Dob: Corazon is gay is the most discussed in the media in the few years ago.

Egbert and Prudence: [laughing]

Dob: Even it has happened in 2012, but some of the public still curious about what is exactly happening and to be the reason their is a rumor comes out about his gay.

Egbert: Holy Cow, I cant believe this is real dude!

Dob: At that time he became the massive social networking rumor, the public especially his fans are shocked. He just came out with his bad rumor which has spread massively. This time is not about his pirating career but his bad rumor. The rumor is out of standardize of hoax.

Egbert: what?

Dob: According to the last reported the pirate revealed himself as homosexual. Do you still believe or not? This rumor is really muched talked about by people even in a persons of his fans.

Egbert and Prudence: [Laughing]

Prudence: Woah

Dob: So I hope that cleared that up for you.

Egbert: So I- did he actually come out as gay?

Dob: I don’t fucking know! You could glean anything from that!?

Egbert: not really

Prudence: by Cthulhu that was like

Egbert: Does Corazon de Ballena is gay?

Dob: Does Corazon de Ballena is gay? It’s a question that will haunt me for the rest of my-

Egbert: Every day

Dob: the rest of my life

#oxventure #corazon #prudence #merilwen #dob #egbert #i thought it was funny #source: game grumps #i guess i couldve used Jaques Darkfall too #this took me forever

[a-casual-egg]

Incorrect Oxventure Quotes

———————

Merilwen: I just wanna hear those three little words.

Prudence: You look nice.

Merilwen: That’s sweet but try again.

Prudence:

Prudence: I will behave.

Merilwen: There we go.

———————

Egbert: I just found out that my dad… isn’t really my dad.

Dob: Your dad… Shattershield?

[Egbert nods]

Dob: That must have been quite a shock.

———————

[Corazon and Merilwen have a loud argument after a fight with some enemies]

Prudence: If you two idiots won’t shut up I’m going to throw hands!!!

Corazon: …Wait. Did you just use a metaphor?

Prudence: [rips a hand from a dead enemy and yeets it at screaming Corazon]

———————

Dob: I love it when people call me baby.

Merilwen: Make a mental note of that, bert.

Egbert: I don’t have a pen

———————

Corazon: I don’t need a man!

Corazon: The problem is, I still like men!

Merilwen: We all have flaws.

———————

Dob: Turns out all we needed was a little more of… this.

Egbert: You just gestured to all of me.

[Dob nods with a smile]

———————

[The Oxventurers (except Prudence) are walking down a street]

Corazon: [yawns] Mer, did we have to get up this early? If I don’t get a full night’s sleep I’m grouchy all day.

Merilwen: Come on, guys. Some merchants are getting in a new shipment of spices today, and I want to make sure I get some for Prudence breakfast.

Corazon: How sweet. Why can’t she just have a bowl of bran flakes like everyone else?

———————

Egbert: Damn, I fucked up again.

Prudence: [narrating] He said it with surprise in his voice, for some reason

———————

Prudence: I’ve been banned from every major city’s public transportation system except Melbourne, Australia. I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it.

———————

[Egbert has just had his wisdom teeth removed]

Egbert: Where’s mom? I wanna see mom.

Merilwen: I’m here, son. Just getting your-

Egbert: Not that mom. Horns mom.

Prudence: [trying not to cry] I’m here, Egbert.

———————

Dob: Hey Egbert, Egbert.

Egbert: What?

Dob: Knock-knock!

Egbert: Oh, c'mon

Dob: Knock-knock!

Egbert: [sighs] Who’s there?

Dob: Your friend, Dob. And he’s always gonna be there for you.

————————

Prudence: [on her phone] Smash his kneecaps and he’ll talk, okay?! I’m at a parent-teacher conference!

Prudence: [turning to a teacher] Anyway, so you said Egbert’s enjoying finger painting? That’s great!

————————

My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now

— Egbert, about Bismuth

————————

Corazon:I hope I get some serious burns.

Dob: I’m hoping for some mauling, like on my shoulder or lower back.

Merilwen:(jokingly) Yeah, it’s only fun if you get a scar out of it.

Prudence: Yeah, no kidding, right? Pain. Love it.

—————————

Prudence: Merilwen was a really great laser tag partner, too. She’s tiny so she’s allowed to push kids.

—————————

Dob: I really wish I had the ability to make boys really nervous.

Prudence: Holding a knife against their neck usually does the trick.

—————————

Merilwen: I love you!

Prudence: I think I may have developed some kind of attachment to you too.

Merilwen: … Prudence, we’re married

#oxventure #corazon #prudence #merilwen #dob #egbert #demonwods #dobbert #dob x egbert #merilwen x prudence