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#my parents @ me about anything when i was 16
Note
WIBTA for dumping a guy because of a throwaway comment to my friend? (TW: NSFW statements)
I'm using BG3 character names for this because I don't want to use letters. The name assignments have nothing to do with personality, it's based off of an inside joke.
Important characters- Me, 18ftm. My S/O, Minthara, 21ftm. My friends (Halsin- 22m, and Astarion- 22neu)
I started dating Minthara a few months back. A month or so before we started dating, and a month after I turned 18, I introduced Minthara to my D&D group (Halsin DMs, and Astarion is one of the players.)
Halsin and Astarion are in a long-term relationship, and because my home life... sucks, to be frank, they're basically my surrogate family.
It's important to note that I am a CSA survivor. They've known me since I was 16, know I'm uncomfortable with sex talk most times, and am an incest survivor. I'm really grateful I have them, and when I introduced Minthara, it seemed like everything was going perfectly. He got along with everyone super well, aside from a few hiccups and bumps.
However, yesterday-as-of-writing this, we were talking about our D&D characters for a campaign Minthara wasn't present for, one we were thinking of adding him to once it got off of hiatus.
Astarion is a big fan of a certain character. Jokingly, I asked if that character and their D&D Character would get along. Minthara jumped in and stated that he thought the comfort character would eat the D&D character's ass.
I cannot state enough that this was out of nowhere, and made Astarion very uncomfortable. They and I tried to play it off and continue the conversation, and Halsin deleted the message in the discord. We checked in in a separate discord server, and Halsin brought up he was a little concerned.
Minthara is very sexual. As in, before we started dating, he sent me NSFW-explicit-noncon art of his D&D character sexual. I know he's recovering from purity culture/deconstructing, so I never minded other than asking him not to try and show his porn art to my D&D group with no warning and to stop talking about his kinks in public when we were out on dates, but when he did it to Astarion I was a little disconcerted.
One thing led to another, and a lot of friends are telling me to leave him. But on the other hand, he genuinely does love me. He's very romantic, and when we spend time together IRL I always come out feeling happy. My mom likes him, and I've met his parents, and I don't want to break his heart or anything. He sends a lot of long voice messages comparing me to nice things and talking about how much he loves me.
I don't want to hurt him, but I also don't want to be with someone who treats my friends like this- this isn't an isolated incident, just the first time it's affected someone other than me.
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foreverisntenough · 2 days
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‘OURS’
Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.
INDEX
Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!
Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)
Chapter 16 - Ready for Spain | ‘Ours’
Trent returned back to first team training in the beginning of the week and got to play about 60 minutes at the match over the weekend. In your opinion he played great and looked even better doing it. Trent had been told by the manager to chill a little bit. It wasn’t a high stakes game so he wasn’t going into it maybe with the same exertion he normally would so the internet had a field day. ‘He can’t defend’… yada yada the same old. It usually didn’t bother Trent all that much but after a while the repetition of it just got so tiresome. He was coming home from the match knowing no matter the game he had, the conversation would always be there. There would always be someone saying he played poorly. You felt terrible but all you could do was be there for him. 
“Tough day, pretty boy?” you cooed gently seeing Trent come in the house back from training. You had put Teddy down for a nap so you were sitting by yourself on your living room couch dressed in Trent’s sweat pants rolled at your waist and an Alo bra tank. Trent let out a groan and nodded before he came over and laid practically on top of you. He settled into your embrace nuzzling his face into your neck. 
“It’s so frustrating. There’s nothing to do but it’s like anytime I open my phone. Sky sports say this… Gary Neville says that… I just can’t get away from it.” He sighed, his voice muffled by his proximity to your skin.
“I’m sorry, baby.” You cooed, running your hands up and down his back. He hummed, enjoying the feeling. He cuddled a bit closer to you. “It’s irrelevant. You’re amazing. Teddy and I think you’re the best in the world, baby.” He nodded against you. At the base of his spine you slipped your hands under his shirt to be closer to him, grazing your hands over his warm skin. You wanted to comfort him the best you could. 
“Yeah? Still your baby? Even if I’m a ‘shit right back’” He asked you quietly repeating what he read. He just wanted to hear he was yours He knew he was, he just wanted to hear it. Hear it in your voice, in your accent. One of your hands continued up his spine to his neck, you wrapped your hand around the back of it scratching his skin gently. He closed his eyes and kissed your neck. As confident and strong and often guarded as Trent presented to the outside world, he found that he was able to be softer and more sensitive around you. You let him be vulnerable with you. It was something that Trent never had experienced before he was with you. The safety of letting your guard down with someone. He remembered telling you your first night together he had never called anyone baby in his life. He just was a total melt for you. He remembered the shiver running up his back when you called him each different pet names for the first time. At first he couldn’t believe he was acting this way but he just embraced it. Now, on hard days, the ones where he used to just want to be alone, he just wanted to be with you. He wanted to hear all the mushy things you had to say and you were more than happy to indulge him. 
“Yeah, always my T.” you cooed. You kissed his hair. “My baby, my husband.” you softly cooed again. You felt him shift a little in your arms. You giggled imagining what could possibly be running through his mind after you said that. He pulled away from your neck and placed his chin on your collarbone to look up at you. He smiled. “Just trying it out...” You giggled again. He lazily reached up to grab your jaw with one hand and pull your face down to his. He kissed your lips softly. 
“Say it again f’me, beautiful.” He looked up at you like you were an angel. He loved you so much. He had completely forgotten about all the shitty things happening online. He was soothed into a haze by your touch and the sound of your voice. You repeated it a few times before you got tired. He tucked his face back into your neck and sighed contently. For the moment, he wasn’t Trent Alexander-Arnold the footballer, he was just the man that was going to be your husband and there was not a more comforting thing in the world than that.  
“Want me to make you something to eat?” You cooed softly, rubbing your hand over his head. 
“Nah, stay right here, please” He mumbled against you moving his head onto your chest nuzzling his face into your boobs. You felt like someone in this house constantly had their face there whether it was him or Teddy but right now this was nice that it was him “ I love coming home to you.” He hummed soothed being back with you. It was nice until Trent was back to his old self and feeling particularly cheeky. It started with one peck to your chest, then a slow kiss onto your boob, moving to a bit more of a suck, and then essentially just a bite.
“Erm.. ow! Excuse you? You’re worse than Teddy. That hurt!” You giggled. His hands came around you began to massage your tits. You hummed getting lost in the moment loosing the pain from his bite quite  quickly. 
“I’m sorry, baby. Let me kiss it better, yeah.” He began kissing your chest. He pulled you more into him than he was on you now. You leaned back into him arching your back pushing your chest out. He kneaded your tits gently with his hands as his kisses got closer and closer to one of your nipples. He slyly pulled your top down, your boobs falling out for him. Both hands rolling the buds of your nipples between his fingers. 
“Oh T… fuck.” You let out a whiny cry not expecting this but honestly, you should have. You felt a shiver run through your whole body. He was being so gentle with you but you were so sensitive. He shifted to be behind you and pulled you into his lap. You laid back against him with your legs spread unintentionally. He pulled your legs even further apart though to drape over his, hooking your feet behind his calves to keep your legs open. His arms wrapped around you, hands back playing with your tits. He guided his hands down from your boobs over your stomach and teasingly into your his sweatpants. His fingers danced over your covered pussy and your breath hitched. Trent loved that the tables had turned. He was so vulnerable moments before and now he had you needy and squirming against him. Your head almost felt dizzy. You let out a pathetic whine as he began to stroke over your clit. He began to draw circles over it softly humming in appreciation of the dampened spot on your panties already without him really doing anything. He moved your hair off your shoulder and placed his lips on your neck. He dragged his tongue over your most sensitive spots, nibbling and sucking when he felt like it just to get you to moan.  You tasted so good though, you felt so good, so Trent got a little greedy. His free hand wrapped around your throat and turned your head for a kiss. Your breathing became erratic lost in his kisses, you couldn’t think. Trent never failed to take his time even with his kisses. He was so sweet with you yet simultaneously incredibly dirty. Kiss after kiss, you were so caught up you barely noticed his fingers move your panties to the side he did it so smoothly.  He picked up the pace of his finger now directly playing with your clit. Your pussy was sopping wet now, you were dripping all down your thighs. His fingers managed to be both tender and sweet and harsh and rough all at the same time. Your thighs began to quiver. You slumped back against Trent desperate for a release. He bit onto your neck a little, feeling himself beginning to get harder and harder just from your pleasure. 
“It’s okay, baby. Relax. Cum f’me, yeah? I got you. It’s okay to make a mess.” He whispered in your ear.  The sound of your wet pussy was lewd you had a hard time even listening to your words but you clocked the word 'cum' easily because you were about to.
“Ah fuck! Oh my god, T!” You whined beginning to babble. It was more pleasurable than anything but it was slightly annoying that he got you like this. Your pussy dripping in the living room all from playing with your clit.  “I’m gonna cum, baby. Please let me me cum.”
“Yeah, go on, baby.” He whispered again. The warmth of his breath against your ear, the feeling of his fingers on your pussy, his free hand fondling your tits. You gripped onto his knees hunching forward a little so overwhelmed by the high about to wash over you but your body crashed back against him seconds later. He kiss your collarbone. You whined when his movement became slow and precise. His rhythm was melodic and perfect. You impatiently grinded against his hand. You dropped your head back against his shoulder behind you. Your jaw slacked, your breathing only intensifying. You shut your eyes as white hot pleasure coarse through you. Your orgasm ransacking your every thought. “Good girl.” He smiled smugly, very proud of his handy work and your body’s reaction. He slowed his movements as your pussy continued to spasm. “Such a good girl f’me.” He whispered against your neck with a kiss. He removed his now wet hand and hugged your waist reverting back to his cute cuddly self. You turned your head tiredly to look at him. His eyes were bright with amusement. Teeth, pearly white, shining in his big gin as he breathlessly laughed. You knocked your head back against his chest once more in feigned embarrassment at what just happened.
“Erm… Okay, well.” You giggled a little, turning once more to look back at the gorgeous boy. “Let me make you some food please because now, I’m hungry and I need to get off this couch.” You spoke quietly with a slight laugh, your eyes filled with hearts gleaming up at him.
“Yeah, yeah fine! If you want” he teased, like somehow you making Trent food would be a burden on him. He pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “Love you, baby.” 
The Champions League group stages had begun. Trent had played a home match already but the first away leg was approaching and in an exciting draw or, for Trent, a difficult one, Liverpool was playing Real Madrid. You thought it was cute when Trent played against his friends but he didn’t really view it that way. You were going to fly to Madrid with Dianne and Teddy for the match but you figured maybe, just maybe, your best friend had heard about the game and would be there as well. 
“Did you know our boyfriends are playing this week!?” You giggled on Facetime with Lauren. 
“Neither of them are boyfriends. T is your fiancé and Jude is… I don’t know what he is but he’s not a boyfriend, I know that” She quipped back with an annoyed face.
“Oh, you’re no fun! Come on! Joke with meee.” You whined. She smiled seeing you so excited. 
“Fine, Yes, Y/N, I am going to be in Madrid for the game.” She laughed at the enthusiasm igniting behind your eyes. You squealed. “You really think I wouldn’t be there? I am not letting you visit Jude over me.”
“I never know where you are! You’re always on the move!” You responded to her adjusting yourself in your chair at your kitchen island. “It’s not like I’m visiting him, I’m going to watch T but I mean if you two are together…..” You drew out the word putting an emphasis on the fact that when Lauren was in Madrid she was always staying with Jude, she had things at his place, they were definitely together.
“Y/N…. we are not together but I will be there.” Lauren was adamant about convincing you Jude wasn’t her boyfriend but no boy, no matter how nice they were, would do the things Jude was doing for her if they weren't in some capacity together.
“Can you say hi to nana, Ted?” You were walking on the tarmac with Teddy on your hip towards Dianne. The three of you were flying today to go to Liverpool’s clash against Real Madrid. Trent had already made his way to the city with the rest of the team. Dianne, Teddy, and yourself had decided to go on the day of the match.
“Who are these beautiful girls!?!” Dianne came up to you two. “Hello my sweet teddy girl!” She cooed. It was early in the morning and Teddy was still a little tired.
“Hi Di” you gave her a tight hug. “Ready for Spain?” You asked her with a tired smile. You were happy to go. Champions League games were fun no matter what. This was just that much better because you got to see Lauren and Jude as well.
“Yes, we are. Going to go see daddy right, Ted?” She cooed, pressing a sweet kiss to Teddy’s cheek. Teddy yawned and cuddled into your chest more. She was in a cute sweat set and you pouted looking down at her. She was being fairly quiet because she wanted to go back to sleep.
“Yeah, we’re so happy to be going to see daddy.” You kissed her head, rubbing your hand over her back. “Huh, sleepy girl? Ready to see daddy?” You cooed to Teddy. She whimpered out a tired ‘dada’ pushing her cheek further against you attempting to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep. By the time you boarded the plane and got seated operating with one arm as the other held Teddy to you she was out cold. You leaned your head on top of hers. Her tiny chubby arms trying her best to hold onto you. She was fast asleep and you were thankful because you weren’t sure how a tired and cranky 14 month year old was going to handle take off.  She was just fine though. Her perfect lips agape with a little bit of drool already beginning to drop onto your warm skin. You didn’t mind,  you wiped it away every so often for her but it was a lost cause. 
“You’re doing a good job, sweetie.” Dianne cooed from her seat across the way. Trent was nice enough to get you a private plane to take you to Madrid. It was a short flight only about 2 and a half hours but it was nice to have the space and privacy. 
“Yeah?” You responded by picking your head up to look at her. You brushed your hand over Teddy’s hair. You were nervous about what other mums thought about how you were doing. Dianne was lovely but you worried you maybe weren't doing things right or the way they were done in England so you didn’t know.
“Really good, hun. I’m so proud of you.” She cooed again looking at you and Teddy tucked in your seat. She seemed sincere and she was. Dianne wasn’t introverted but she definitely wasn't an extrovert. You got along really well and you were grateful for that. She was like a second mum to you but you of course were curious of what she thought and what she thought was that you were doing wonderful.
“Thank you, Di. It means a lot, honestly. Half the time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to keep her happy for him.” You spoke quietly. It was true. You had no idea what you were doing being your first baby but all you wanted to do was keep Teddy happy. Dianne's validation felt incredible. 
“Oh Y/N. You make that little girl so happy. You make him so happy. You’re doing amazing. You should keep her happy for you though not for Trent.” She spoke softly making sure you heard her important words but that you didn’t disturb Teddy. It wasn’t lost on Dianne how hectic her son's life was. That in the middle of the week you were having to fly to another country to see him. It had a lot of perks but just as many difficulties and she was impressed with how well you handled them.
“I’m trying.” You giggled, kissing Teddy’s forehead. You talked for a little while longer but you started to get tired so your answers began to slow. Dianne picked up on your delay and the plane went quiet. Soon you were falling asleep yourself. You hugged Teddy and dozed off. Dianne snapped a sweet photo of you and Teddy cuddled up and sent it to Trent.  
Your girls coming to see you. Lucky boy, Trenty xx
My whole world 😘 See you tn
By the time you got to your hotel room in Spain you were exhausted. You laid Teddy down and called Trent. She had been fussy since you landed. She got so upset when the flight began to descend and you couldn’t really do anything to help. The plane had to land whether she liked it or not. You had a short window to shower while she napped but you hadn’t talked to Trent since you told him you’d arrived so you wanted to give him a call. You could multitask. 
“Oooof wow baby.” Trent cooed ogling at you as you peeled your shirt over your head in the bathroom. You propped your phone on the sink counter to speak with him as you got undressed for your shower.
“This isn't for you. I need to shower before the match.” You giggled still a little flattered by his reaction. You were trying to do two things at once not put on a show for him.
“Oh…” he looked a little hurt but then he smiled at you. “It’s always for me… just a little bit though, right baby?” He cheekily flirted with you pinching his fingers together trying to get you to say that you getting naked right now was secretly for him.
“Whatever you need to tell yourself, pretty boy.” You giggled picking up the phone now that you had sucesfully peeled your clothes off. You told Trent you had to go and got on with your shower as quick as possible. You got yourself and Teddy ready and met Dianne down in the hotel lobby to head to the match. You arrived at the Bernabeu with them after a traffic-filled drive and a spilt bottle of milk. You decided to wear a Liverpool jersey that was now quite messy so you changed into an extra t-shirt you had and Area high waisted jeans with a crystal embellished slit. You wore a pair of Prada red heels to pair with your top. Teddy definitely had started to develop a lot of opinions and in turn she had become a lot more particular about things, clothing included. You put Teddy in her jersey, of course, and thankfully she was happy with that. You assumed it was because she liked that she matched her dad. She had leggings on as well after two tries. She didn’t like the first pair for an unidentifiable reason. You walked up to where the Bellingham family sat up in a box high in the tall stadium. Lauren was already there sat with Jude’s mum. Denise hadn’t met Teddy yet but Lauren and Jude of course showed her plenty of photos. You walked in holding her so that was a give away but she recognized her face immediately. 
“Oh my goshhh, aren’t you gorgeous! You look even more like your daddy in person, huh?” Denise cooed seeing Teddy. She had gotten up from her seat and met you near the door. 
“My dada.” Teddy giggled pulling on your shirt with her grubby hands. She started introducing the word ‘my’ lately. She was clingy and possessive in a healthy baby type way so it was cute. You could tell she was very proud to clarify that Trent was her dad. You hummed to her in acknowledgement.  
“Let me see my cutie girl!!! Hii Ted!!” Lauren sang, jogging excitedly over to you in the box. You gave her a hug and then stepped back a little for her to see more of Teddy. 
“Can you say hi please to Lauren and Denise?” You kissed Teddy’s forehead in encouragement for her to say hello. You had noticed she definitely could get shy around new people and preferred to be just glued to you. You picked up her hand and squeezed it a few times. “Can we say hi?” You cooed. She got out a quiet ‘hi.’ “Good girl. You know Laur, yeah? And we know Judey. Daddy’s friend Jude?” She nodded against your chest hiding her face. “Yeah? You do. That’s Jude’s mummy, okay?”  You cooed softly, beginning to bounce her in your arms. Lauren reached out and tickled her tummy. Teddy didn’t want to but she couldn’t stop her giggles. 
“You like Judey, remember? You talk to him on the phone all the time with daddy, Ted.” Lauren reminded her with a laugh hearing her small giggles. Jude and Trent FaceTimed a lot… like a lot. Often, Teddy was along for the calls. She was usually just laying on his chest but nevertheless she was there. You went to sit down with Lauren and Teddy outside. Dianne and Denise stayed inside catching up. Warm ups for the game hadn’t even begun so you were scrolling on TikTok when you coincidentally saw an edit of Trent and Jude appear on your feed. You turned your phone screen for Lauren to see the video.
“Yeah, if only they knew how fucking annoying they were.” You laughed as you rolled your eyes. It was a thirsty video to say the least. Of course they looked good. They always look good but it was a little bit funny to knock them down a peg when you could. 
“I don’t knowww they’re pretty handsome.” She pouted at the video seeing them yap away together. Lauren grabbed the phone from you to take a closer look. When she reached out for it, you were quick to notice a shiny new Cartier Juste in Clou bracelet on her wrist. 
“Erm… when did we get that?” You prodded at the bracelet. Lauren didn’t acknowledge you she just continued on watching the edit loop for the third time. 
“He gave it to me yesterday.” Lauren said nonchalantly keeping her focus on the phone as she began to scroll through the comments on your phone.
“Erm… Jude did?” You questioned her casual tone. “Were you going to mention this?” You laughed with your jaw dramatically slacked awaiting her explanation.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Y/N. He just gets me little things. He buys stuff for me all the time just to be nice.” She explained resting your phone on her leg and turning towards you with an unimpressed face. 
“Did you hear that, Ted? He buys stuff for her all the time.” You mocked her. “It’s a £5,000 bracelet Lauren, it's not little.” You reminded her. It was really nice of him, that wasn’t what you were saying. You were trying to get her to realize people don’t just do that because.
“I never have so many girls here, this is so lovely. Especially you, cutie.” Denise cooed pinching at Teddy's cheeks eliciting a hearty giggle.
“It’s usually just us and occasionally Toby or Jobe.” Lauren laughed, squeezing Teddy’s chubby arm keeping her giggles flowing. She explained only furthering your confusion about the status of her relationship. 
“We need to see you more. Excited for the big day?” Denise looked at you with curiosity. You were focused on Lauren so you had to apologize and ask her to repeat herself. You spoke about the wedding until the game began. You told her it would be small but still special. You had gotten your save the dates out so she was telling you how much she loved the aesthetic of the cards already. Dianne gassed up how organized you’d been and how little Trent had done teasingly. 
“No, no, he’s been great. It’s just so hard in season so even next month I am flying to New York for a few days to get some things done for it by myself... well and with Teddy, obviously.” You smiled, waving off that Trent wasn’t helpful. You were flying in January while Trent had international duties but then it occurred to you where Lauren would be. “Lauren, will you be in town?” You asked in an cheeky tone. 
“I am spending the beginning of January in New York and then I think I'll be here.” She responded to your question with a sharp smile. You raised your eyebrows. The game ticked on. It was a little firey. It made you slightly nervous when games got this chippy but it ended in a draw. Thankfully to be honest. You weren’t super familiar with the stadium so Denise offered to take you down to the pitch once the final whistle blew. Jude texted Lauren to come down to meet them on the field after. You made your way down and were amazed at the scale of this stadium. Sometimes you wondered how the boys managed to just walk out and perform and look so calm. The stadium was emptying out and you felt stressed still even with the reducing amount of eyes potentially on you now. Trent came out the tunnel first with a sluggish Jude following. They had both changed out of their uniforms. The stadium had basically cleared out by the time they both were done with all their post match duties, only the ground keepers were left. You were sitting on the edge of the back of one of the seats. You were facing up away from the pitch chatting with Lauren. Dianne and Denise stood with Teddy further up in the sections stands. Trent came up behind you and smirked, placing his cheek next to yours. His face excruciatingly close to you made you jump. You could feel his aura encasing you immediately. He hugged you tight from behind. He sighed feeling his body relax with you back in his arms
“Missed you, baby” He whispered and you smiled as he kissed your cheek. He flicked his eyes up to his mum descending down the stairs carrying your little girl. He squeezed you extra tight and you melted.  
“Dada!!!!” Teddy squealed seeing Trent appear behind you. Dianne walked down closer to where you were holding her. She wiggled in Dianne’s arms so she put her down letting Teddy do the last two stairs by herself to reach you two. She ran up to you pulling at your jeans wanting you to pick her up. Trent leaned over the ledge separating you and the pitch and picked her up instead. He held her between you two. “Mama dada.” She giggled, kicking her feet excitedly in his arms.
“That’s right, my Ted. Good girl.” You applauded her. “Happy we’re back with dada?” You asked. You were met with a very rambunctious ‘dada’ from Teddy confirming she was.
“My girls. Did you miss me, Teddy girl? Huh? Were you good for mummy?” Trent asked her a million questions, excited to have her back with him. Teddy didn’t really answer any of them though she just clung to him happily.
“Look at you! Such a big girl now!” Jude came over to you three after he said hello to Lauren which you were a little annoyed you missed the opportunity to analyze their interaction. Dianne and Denise sat in a random row of seats watching you all. “I have her birthday present by the way.” Jude picked up Teddy from Trent, you nodded hearing about the present he didn’t need to get her. “Because you turned one years old! You’re so old now!” He laughed raising her up a little higher than she probably cared for.
“Mama!” Teddy squirmed in his arms reaching back out for you in a moment of panic.
“Ted, you’re okay. You know Jude, yeah?” Trent cooed, reaching out to her reassuring her that she was fine. She didn’t spend a lot of time with Jude in person so she was still trying to connect the dots. She eventually did. She liked hearing him talk over facetimes. She looked up at Jude with big eyes inspecting him once she identified that she recognized him and his voice.
“Hi” she giggled then looked back at Trent who nodded confirming that she was okay. She reached her tiny hands up to Jude’s face. She pulled on his goatee. 
“Ouch!” He laughed holding onto her little arms now trying to get her to not. It didn’t actually hurt of course.
“Can we be gentle with Judey, please.” You cooed, pushing a curl behind her ear. She giggled and pulled his facial hair again. “Teddy girl…” you warned her in a more stern tone. She let go of him. Her mouth a little agape, not sure what to do now. She was a good listener. If you told her no she'd stop but then she didn’t know what to do once she was told that. “Maybe can you show Judey how you give a kiss instead?” You looked at her encouragingly. She pushed her lips out towards him. She smashed basically her whole face into his cheek. 
“That was so nice of you, Ted.” You laughed at the face Jude made. He was taken aback by her version of a kiss. 
“Wow, thank you so much. That was… that was…” Jude couldn't exactly find the words to describe the slobber of a kiss he just received. 
“Really nice of you, baby bear.” Trent finished his sentence for him. He squeezed Teddy’s danging leg. 
“Ted, you didn’t want to wear the jersey I got you?” Jude teased. He gave you a Bellingham jersey back when you were pregnant for her. To be fair, she probably could fit into it now but not a shot Trent was going to let her wear it, especially today. Teddy held onto the hood of his tracksuit with a death grip pulling at it watching you all laugh not understanding what he asked her. 
“Nah, my Ted’s a red.” Trent cooed, prying her hand off of Jude’s hood. 
“T, can we take a picture quick?” you asked. Trent nodded. Jude offered to take it for you so Trent helped you over the ledge dividing the seats and the pitch. You grabbed Teddy back from Jude. You walked a little further onto the pitch. Trents arms around your waist. You leaned your head onto his shoulder. He kissed Teddy’s hair before telling her to say cheese. She didn’t, she couldn’t, but she giggled when you tickled her a little so it ended up being a good picture. 
“Okay Fam!” Lauren yelled out smiling seeing your little family all together.
“Baby bear at the Bernabeu.” Trent cooed taking Teddy from you and lifting her up over his head and then back down. He’d toss her up and she’d scream. He laughed and kissed her cheek. Dianne came onto the pitch and asked to take a photo of the five of you. You loved the idea. It made you kind of emotional but you didn’t let anyone else know that. You gathered and Lauren took Teddy from you, wanting to hold her. Jude held Lauren in front of him and you tucked into Trent. It was crazy that this was your life now. On the other hand, Lauren couldn’t help the feeling pinging in her chest. She was next to her best friend's family, your fiancé, your baby and... this boy behind her, what was he? She joked a lot about it but it was hard to avoid when you’re taking a photo like that. She thought about in 5 years time if someone were to ask her who was in the photo, she’d say the Alexander-Arnold family and then… who? What were her and Jude? It was a fairly early game so Teddy was still wide awake. She stood next to you on the pitch holding your hand above her head swaying back and forth. She kept pulling your arm though once she noticed Trent and Jude kicking a ball back and forth as they stood further away on the pitch talking about the game.  
“Hello!?” You giggled. “Do you need something?” You looked down at her with a smile. She looked up at you with wide eyes and pointed over to them. “Oh I see. You want to go be with the boys. Do you want to play footie with daddy?” You asked standing with Dianne, Denise and Lauren. You called out to Trent and let go of her hand. She eagerly ran towards them with a giggle. Trent crouched down to her level and waited with open arms for her to reach him. He gave her a big hug and then placed the ball in front of her. She kicked it a few times and fell a few more times but it was cute. They were attempting to pass back and forth but you stopped paying attention after a while coming back into your own conversation in front of you. You heard Teddy squeal a bit later so you turned around to make sure she was fun. She was. Jude was chasing after her, actively trying to go slow so he didn’t catch her. 
“Dada!!!!” She screamed with a giggle. She ran to Trent and hid behind his legs. 
“Can’t get away from me, Ted, C’mere!” Jude yelled, running behind Trent and scooping her up. You watched Lauren’s face shift from intent focus on what Dianne was currently saying to a soft pout seeing Jude running carrying Teddy. It was all jokes and she’d never say but Lauren was processing a lot right now. Back on the pitch, they played a game of 2 v 1. Teddy and Jude versus daddy. Jude did most of the work but he’d get the ball to the goal and set it for Teddy to come and kick it across the line. Jude naturally made her do his trademark celebration. 
“Turn, Ted and then we face the big crowd, yeah? Put your arms out like this.” He instructed her pulling her arms up far and wide for her. “Good girl!” He cooed before tickling her tummy. She giggled and dropped her arms trying to protect herself. 
“Baby bear! You can’t be doing that wearing daddy’s jersey.” Trent pouted, making a sad face at her, taking a defeated seat on the grass. She ran over to him swiftly yet clumsily. 
“Dada, no sad.” Teddy cooed worried she had actually made Trent sad. She wrapped her arms up around his neck. She grunted adorably trying to get closer to him. 
“I’m okay, baby. We’re just having fun, okay?” He cooed, pulling her off him to look at her face. She nodded, pursing her lips and pushing them out towards him. “Want a kiss from daddy, now? You beat me in a game and now you want a kiss from me!?!!?” He yelled teasingly as she stood between is sprawled out legs with his hands around her. She giggled in his arms but kept her lips pursed out adamant she got one. “Mwah! C’mon, on my team now.” he instructed her, amidst Teddy's excited response to the kiss.
“Gotta score if you want to celebrate, mate.” Jude laughed standing in front of the goal with his hands on his hips watching Trent standing back up.
“See, Ted, you don’t want to be on his team anyway. He’s mean. You want to play with daddy, right?” Trent rolled a ball in front of her.  They played for ages but Teddy eventually got tired. She pulled at Trent’s joggers not wanting to move any more.
“Dada up!” She whined looking up at him desperately. “Up!” Her eyes beginning to water. Trent picked her up and gave her a cuddle before Teddy tucked her face in the nape of his neck sleepily. He kissed her cheek but didn’t abandon the game, naturally. Trent scored on Jude and ran with Teddy celebrating. 
“Get in! TAA’s take the win.” He held Teddy out in front of him and kissed her dramatically. Lifting her like she was a trophy. She giggled but eagerly grabbed to hold on to his neck when he brought her back down to stay tucked in his arms. 
“You’re the only person I know that is a sore winner. Teddy, be better than this. Be a better TAA.” Jude shook his head as the three of them walked back over to where you all were on the side of the pitch. 
“She is a better TAA.” Lauren cheekily poked at Trent.  
“A better TAA and a sleepier one too. huh?” You cooed, grabbing Teddy from Trent. She yawned and closed her eyes cozying up on your chest. You got all your things together and said goodbye to Denise. Lauren and Jude you were seeing later for a late dinner. Like very late but you were in Spain so maybe just late for you.
“Ted, want to lay with me? Can we let mummy shower please?” Trent cooed with a laugh. He was exhausted after the match laying in the hotel room bed. Teddy was sitting on the floor of the bathroom adamant about being with you but you needed to shower. “Come gimme a cuddle, baby bear.” He asked for her again, sitting up a little to make sure she heard him. That was it. Hearing he wanted a cuddle was all she needed to hear. She was immediately up and running to his side of the bed. He picked her up and tucked her in close to him. “Thank you for playing footie with me tonight. Did you have fun?” He asked Teddy, helping her get comfortable. She nodded, rubbing her face against his chest. Her tiny hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. Trent was focused on Teddy but definitely didn’t miss you exiting the bathroom a little while on in just your panties and a skimpy tank top. “Mmm c’mere mummy.” He cooed, seeing you. You rolled your eyes at his seductive tone but with Teddys instant call of your name you easily gave in. You cuddled with them for a little. Both Teddy and Trent out quite quickly. You were just happy to lay with both of them though. It was late so you needed to have Teddy stay asleep at this point but you also needed Trent to get up now.
“T… Baby, we have to get going. I’m sorry.” you whispered, stroking your thumb over his high cheekbone to wake him. “You promised you’d go.” you cooed, reminding the sleepy boy.
“Well I take it back.” He whispered in response, still keeping his eyes shut. You first felt a tinge of annoyance but then you just felt bad he was so tired. 
“Okay, I’ll tell Lauren we can't.” You softly told him, moving your hand to brush over his hair. You wanted to go out but whatever he needed was more important even if it was his sleep.
“Nah, nah, don't. I’ll go, baby, I’ll go.” He groaned but managed to open his eyes. He looked at you with a sincere but sleepy smile. “I’ll go, wanna take you out.” he cooed and sent you a wink. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t still get you flustered when he did that.  
“Would you mind taking Ted to your mum's room so I can get ready quick?” You asked him quietly, looking at Teddy still soundly passed out on his chest. He hummed a 'yes' following your sightline to her. You watched his eyes wake up more and gleam looking at his baby girl.  “She’s gorgeous, isn't she?” you cooed sweetly both admiring your tiny creation.
“Yeah, absolutely perfect.” He ran his hand up her back, pressing a kiss to her head.
“I love how happy and excited she is by things. Tonight, watching her run around the pitch with you was so amazing. I just want her to stay that happy. She has the most beautiful smile, I never want it to go away.” You gushed about how adorable you thought she was. Teddy could be shy which wasn’t exactly far fetched considering you and Trent’s approach to life but despite her fears, she seemed to want to try things. She’d cuddle close to you but then pull away wanting to go check something out. You appreciated how curious she had become but the smile on her face whilst doing it made it all the better.
“She will. You make her happy, baby. You make me so happy. Trust me, she has a mummy like you, she’ll be happy.” He turned to you, grabbing your jaw with one hand and tilting your head up to look at him.
“Yeah?” You asked him shyly for reassurance. “I love her so much.” You confessed the obvious to Trent.
“Yeah. You know, my mum texted me a photo of you two on the way here. I told her that’s my whole world right there” He explained before he kissed your forehead and then Teddy’s.
“My little Teddy…” You cooed, turning your head out of his hand's grip to look down at her. You pulled her tiny pajama top that had ridden up revealing her adorably pudgy tummy back down. 
“And you, baby. You. My girls are my whole world.” Trent whispered, still keeping his gaze on you. 
“You’re our whole world, T.”' You kissed his shoulder. Even in a foreign country, with you and Teddy with him he had never felt more at home. Trent carried Teddy carefully to Dianne’s room, ensuring he did not wake her. Dianne told you she’d watch Teddy for the night so you two could go out with Jude and Lauren which you appreciated. It was nice and honestly such a luxury you had such a willing family to help you out. You got dressed while Trent was down the hall in a Mui Mui sweater and tiny silver shorts paired with pink metallic Louboutins Trent said were silly to bring to a city with so much cobble stone but you disregarded him for the sake of a good outfit.  It was December but it was still Madrid so definitely warmer than where you’d have to fly home tomorrow. Trent came back into the room and plopped down on the bed. His outfit took about 1 minute in total to pull together. White t-shirt, tan trousers, out the door. 
“Explain this to me…” Trent asked you with a cheeky smile sitting on the edge of the bed inspecting your outfit with you as you stood in front of the hotel room's full-length mirror.
“What?” You picked your head up and looked back at him through the mirror.
“These.” He stood up and walked over to you before he pulled the short hem of the shorts down trying to do the impossible and get them to cover your ass. 
“You don’t like?” You asked him earnestly. Readjusting the waist of the shorts to return them to their original fit, a bit of your ass showing again. 
“Erm… you look good, trust me… you look really good but more in a ‘I want to take these off’ than in a ‘this fit hits.’ way.” He looked at you seriously trying to wrap his head around the outfit. 
“Maybe that’s what I was going for.” You spun around and kissed his lips. He laughed and rolled his eyes. You two joked that often if Trent didn’t ‘understand’ your outfit it probably meant it was good. You left the hotel to meet Lauren and Jude at a restaurant in a lively part of the city that they liked a lot. You trusted them and neither you or Trent knew Madrid so it was where you were headed. 
“Oh I’m sorry, are we interrupting something?” You giggled. When you walked in you immediately saw Lauren stood in between Jude’s legs as he sat on a bar stool. Her arms lovingly draped over his shoulders. Their lips ghosting over each others as they talked because they were that close. Lauren pulled away bashfully.
“Hiii!” You sang your greeting, smushing a kiss to Jude’s cheek. He rolled his eyes at your maternal affection. “Long time no see.” you cooed sarcastically.
“Mrs. TAA.” He kissed your cheek back.  “Just saying… I called this from early. I said Mrs. TAA before Teddy was even born.” He quipped trying to take ownership of something he had no affect on. 
“Jude, everyone in their mother knew this was happening you weren't exactly predicting the unpredictable.” Lauren laughed. He kissed her shoulder and you tried your best not to let your eyes widen. They seemed so… coupley. You did wonder to yourself if this was what they were like all the time and Lauren was just keeping the domesticity of it all hush. “Anyways! I love these!” Lauren cooed pulling on the belt loop of your shorts. You giggled and turned towards Trent to make sure he heard the compliment.  
“Trent is not on board.” you smiled at him smugly then turned back to Lauren to tell her the brand of the shorts. 
“I didn’t say that! I just… “ Trent began to prepare his defense but Lauren was quick to cut him off.
“What!? She looks so good. You’re just dumb.” Lauren dismissed his opinion. 
“I didn't say she didn't look good! Oh my days! Jude, back me up, bro.” Trent tried to get him to join his side of an argument no one really cares about. 
“Nah, this is a lose lose for me if I say anything here, mate, sorry.” Jude wasn’t risking his evening making a comment about your miniscule shorts. You got sat for dinner at a table tucked in the back of the restaurant far away from any chaos that followed Jude around the city. It was nice to catch up with them. You tried your hardest not to ask what was going on between them because you didn’t want to put them on the spot but just the way they were sitting had you dying to talk about it. Lauren tucked in Jude’s arms, head resting on his shoulder talking about the breakfast place they went to the other day. You were transfixed on every slight movement. 
“You gonna pay attention to me at all?” Trent whispered in your ear, sliding his hand over your thigh squeezing the inside. You smirked not realizing you had been so focused on them and not him. You apologized for not being very present.  “Nah, don’t say sorry. Just checking in. Making sure the most beautiful girl is all good.” You hummed letting him know you were just fine before he kept talking. “How do you do it, baby? Every country we go to, you're always the most beautiful girl in the whole place.” He cooed. 
“Stop…”  you hid your face behind your hands. He pulled them down. 
“I’ve been telling you since our first date don’t hide that face from me, baby.” He cooed, holding your hands in his. His finger stroked over your massive engagement ring. You turned your head to look directly at him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 
“Best thing I’ve tasted all night.” He whispered, ghosting his lips over yours. You giggled at the ridiculous flirtation. Your dinner ended with you and Lauren begging the two boys that had played 100 minutes of football tonight and just paid for the 2 hour dinner you had at a luxe restaurant to go out to a club. They did not want to go but either you managed to convince them or they secretly wanted to go all along. Regardless, you were now going. You had security escort you out. It’s not like you had not been around this type of attention or media circus before, especially being around Jude, but in Spain, in Madrid, this was a madhouse. Trent kept you tight to the front of him. One arm wrapped around your waist the other draped over your chest. You snuck into a club that had private areas which was important for the boys but in general it was a low key, relaxed place once you got inside. Trent and Jude of course, got stopped entering the club for photos. They stopped but told you and Lauren to head in. Lauren jetted off to the bathroom. Despite your pleas, Lauren told you she’d die if she didn’t go so there you were alone in a club in Madrid. You posted up against a pillar and not long after two men approached you. You hated being outnumbered anywhere but in a club with a language you didn’t speak stressed you out even more. They kept trying to talk to you so you’d give them a polite smile and tell them you didn’t speak Spanish. Finally though you just hit your limit of niceties. 
“I’m getting married and I’m literally a mum, I’m sorry!” You yelled into one of the men’s ears trying to deter them away. 
“No tienes una bebe!” One replied, shocked, ignoring the first part of your sentence. You didn’t speak the language but you could piece together words here and there so you understood what he was getting at. 
“You're way too sexy to be a mum… not with a body like this.” The other man piled on. You shut your eyes not flattered by the compliment but annoyed. Where the fuck were Trent, Jude, and Lauren! You looked down at your phone trying not to pay attention to the man refusing to leave your side. Then in an instant when you picked your head up you clocked a 6’2 angel boy cutting through a crowd of people towards you. 
“Hiiiii!!” You just about screamed wrapping your arms around Jude. Feeling relief wash over you. Jude draped his arm around you. He pulled you closer to him but was trying to play catch up with what was causing the uptick in affection. Of course, the two Spanish men’s jaws dropped seeing him. 
“Es Jude Bellingham! You have a child?” One of the men was shocked and confused trying to deduce if the child you had was Judes. 
“Yes! Yes!” You answered for him. Cuddling up to Jude. He tightened his hold on you but leaned down to whisper to you very confused. 
“What is going on?” He asked in your ear. He looked at the men then back at you and put two and two together so he smiled finally understanding. He difused the situation without bringing up the topic of a child. The men eventually left after a selfie with Jude. 
“Gimme a kiss baby… god, I love my baby mama so much.” Jude cooed teasingly, dropping his hands to your waist. 
“Oh fuck off!” You laughed moving out of his hold. “So ridiculous. I don’t understand guys like that. I told them I’m getting married, I told them I have a child and yet they stay.” You ranted to him. Trent appeared and you just fell into his arms. “I missed you.” you cooed, clinging to him.
“I missed you too even in the 5 minutes we were apart, baby.” Trent laughed pushing strands of your hair behind your ear coming to cup your cheeks. Suddenly the room felt small, the lights dimmer than before. You stared back at Trent and you could feel your heart thumping in your chest. You felt like a magnet being drawn into him. Your lips gravitating towards his without a thought. Your lips pressed into his perfect pout softly kissing him. 
“Sorry…” You pulled away giggling. 
“I’m not… c’mere." He pulled you back into him. His hands dropped down to your ass. “Maybe I like this shorts after all.” He whispered.
“Yeah? I thought you might.” He kissed you again slow but it heated up, your nails dragging over his chest.
“T…” You warned him. “People might be watching.” You were assuming because at the moment you couldn’t take your eyes off him but it was a pretty safe bet.
“I don’t care. Let them watch. I want people to know you’re with me.” His eyes were glued to your glossy lips. His hand movements getting cheekier and cheekier.
“Erm… okay, we’re going to the table. You can join us if you’re ever able to pry yourself off one another. “ Lauren interrupted you. You didn’t look at her, neither did Trent but you heard what she said.
Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍 SMUT will return in a big way in the next chapter I think...
Next part - Chapter 17 xx
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sysig · 2 months
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Oh he is So baby (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#SCII#Max Vyer#Teen Max ;; *gently holds*#Like I didn't love him already his teen phase was This Cute??? Stoppp#I am once again relating way too hard to Max lol - it looks? like he's wearing dark eyeliner to me#There's no way he actually has eye bags that dark as a 16 year old right am I just protecting my feelings towards wanting him to be okay :'D#He started drinking before he was 21 but when did he start some of the harder stuff - was him getting on the roof a teen or drug thing#Worried about you Max#Well anyway I choose to believe it's eyeliner lol <3 Which is extremely cute <3#There's something so double-funny to me about having drawn him all cutesy as a baby y'know - cherubic! Adorable blond baby!#And then his emo/grunge/punk phase as a teen but he keeps his blond hair because of his vanity hehehehe I love him!!! So much!!#He's so adorable <3#Anyway yeah I had a dark eyeliner phase as a teen also lol except mine was Classique Fandom Cringe™ ♥#I'd draw the YGO Eye of Ra with my eye acting as the main part of the eye lol teens are goofy like that#Very measured of him to just darken his lower lid really ♪#The collar and the cuffs too I just jdksfladf I can't think of it as anything but extremely cute lol I'm so endeared <3 <3#He's such a brat I love him so much#I talked about how his parents would've still been awful even if he had A Diagnosis but honestly he probably would've been too <3#Not a get-out-of-jail-free card Max!#I - a Max apologist - say lol
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crazyw3irdo · 9 months
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do y’all ever think about how yancy knows how to break out of prison and actively chooses not to. do you ever think about how when he breaks us out he knows the way so easily as if he’s been there a million times before. do you ever wonder if at some point he considered breaking himself out and just couldn’t go through with it.
#i have been thinking about this for the last few days it’s absolutely rotted my brain. like it’d occurred to me before but my brain is sooo#fixated on this lately like he. he knows. and he doesn’t. he’s done bad things and he doesn’t think he deserves it#just. younger yancy who just killed his parents and hasn’t fully processed anything trying to break himself out#standing at the gate knowing he can take a step out and be free again. and he doesn’t. and everything sinks in for him and he just slowly#goes back to his cell. and a few more times he does the exact same thing but… he just can’t bring himself to leave.#he constructs this half-truth about prison life being great and makes friends- makes a family. but. when y/n leaves the first thing he says#is that he’s done bad things. the ‘and hey! this is home!’ seems more like an afterthought that he’s trying to convince himself is true#god the fact that y/n gets a universal key in ending 12… i can see y/n breaking in to try and convince him to leave but he just won’t. he#could’ve gotten out before even without that. but he won’t. if he’s gonna get out he’s gonna do it right. even if it means he can’t stab any#one anymore :( and cmon everyone knows he loves to STAB#this seemed more tangential to include but also. do you think yancy’s ever broken anyone else out?#…do they visit? he was absolutely overjoyed when y/n visited in space i think he doesn’t get that many ngl…#god this character has like 15 or 16 minutes of screen time idk i haven’t recounted after space came out#*pats his head* this bad boy can fit so much overanalysis and headcanons in him#yancy#markiplier#yancy ahwm#ahwm yancy
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allisonreader · 9 months
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My heart hurts. Not physically, but emotionally. I don't like the news, I tend to avoid actively searching it out, for that exact reason. I ache because as people we just can't seem to get along. Learn to compromise and fully try to understand the other side. It's exhausting to understand why people are against certain things, even when it's the opposite of what I personally believe in.
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mybrainproblems · 7 months
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weenhands · 1 year
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the only time today i manage to let out a genuine smile is while watching return frank doing a silly little dance while onstage during vampire money <333 dilfs are the only things protecting this country
#THAT ALMOSY TYPED OUT CUNTY#also yeah todsy was absolutely horrid ans terrible wnd i dony deserve to be alive idk#i was very upset. And it showed near loved ones ans i wish i wasnt alive i dont deserve literally anything im so terrible<333#and i ended up napping early bc i was rllytired frommy walk#and on that walk i just really thought about how my ....Undiagnosed Ocd is literally ruining my life#bc atfirst i considered it anxiety and rumination and etc etc but now that im doingba bit of research it is almost perfectly#in the box of obsessive compulsive disorder#this has basically ruined my life since i was roughly 16 and ages 16 - 20 are a massive blur <33 no real goddamn memories#my life is terrible i just want to go back to when i was in middle school when i was just depressed but also happy at times#if i struggle make it so that i can at least feel like im here lol#but yea i got some clarity abt it all and i think its making sense#i just want to live again#i dont feel real and i wanna go offline too bc its showing on here too#me being like more grumpy and posting way less about frank#i feel like i lost my passion for mcr/frank a bit and rn its just me being depressedand letting my thoughts control me like they have#since i was in the 11th grade#whatever. i just hope tomorrow reflects the clarity i have and i dont end up so insanely sad#hhhhh<333 i hate mysekf so much i. an undeserving of so much especially my parents#i dont deserve a roof over my headim just some disabled idiot who is stuck in constant rumination <3333 idiot idiot die
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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My brother failed his driving test (was so nervous that he crashed) and cried afterwards because he was so upset about it and I, in true estranged eldest daughter fashion, am sick to my stomach worrying that my parents gave him shit for it
#i don't even like my brother very much#hes conservative and shitty like my dad (tho he is only 16 so im holding out for a few years before i decide he's a lost cause)#but i am still The Third Parent#my brother is My Dad's Son TM so i sincerely doubt he would humiliate him abt crying/be anything less than encouraging#but knowing how they treated ME when I made a mistake is. making me extra paranoid#surely they wouldn't do it a second time. surely they've noticed how i never talk to them#surely they understand what they did to cause it and wouldn't do it again to their youngest baby. right?#he was raised so much more leniently than i was so i don't think he's quite as. like.#terrified or failure but not bc of the failure but bc of the repercussions from The Bosses#but man. man. i need a leather cord to chew on.#i know my parents are shit to their kids bc they were shit to me and now im worried they'll be shit to him! what a cycle#anyway. tonight i am drinking to fall asleep faster! huzzah or whatever#also editing this to add a prediction: yes i know i could just ask my parents/brother how they reacted. you misunderstand our relationship#i live here and take care of the chickens and feed their son while they gamble. we do not talk. not even casually.#i don't just 'ask' any of them what happened. we exchange facts about events and move on#sometimes we visit my grandmother and get too encouraged by a chatty environment and get into arguments#we disagree on fundamentally everything (other than polite manners in public. that is unbreakable and sound) so we don't talk#ive surpassed wanting their attention. i don't want to know their opinions anymore and they never wanted to know mine#tough shit i guess. who knew you needed to love a child as a child and not as a cute handbag to lug around#(especially when that cute handbag grew up to be not so cute anymore and fat and actually reacted to that shitty treatment)#anyway this post isn't abt me (but im my mother's daughter so i always make things abt me huh)#i feel bad for my brother and wish i had been a better sister#i know i had 3+ undiagnosed mental illnesses/disabilities but still#i hope he passes really easily the next time and he isn't as nervous and my parents help him fix his car without complaining#vent
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quietblissxx · 2 years
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Home from the funeral and feel a lot of mixed emotions. How can I feel so isolated yet so connected at the same time?
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daedrabela · 1 year
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sometimes i'll just be chilling with my bf and i start talking about something weird that happened to me as a kid/when i was younger and it turns out that was a whole ass trauma and then we sit there looking at each other like 😮
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sapphosboy · 5 months
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Having repressed memories unlocked very suddenly, is a really terrible experience by the way. Like did not need to see a video of an incredibly traumatizing moment show up on the family digital slideshow but thanks :)
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fagtainsparklez · 11 months
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so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.
and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.
and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive
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rosesradio · 10 months
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#i had this dream last night about my ex#i knew that realistically turning 20 wouldn’t make them go away per say but i was hoping that along with them being more rare—#they’d also be different. and this one was#normally my dreams were kinda scarier to me—with him standing in front of me or following me down dark hallways—#but this one was almost kinda funny#i was at a restaurant with my family and he called my phone. FaceTime actually—#(you know how you don’t have phones in dreams? i guess i had mine)#and when i answered and could see myself i looked like how i looked when I was 16 (which was weird because i met him when I was 17–#and i looked different then)#I tried to cover my face when i realized it was him—but his hair was bleached and it was a weird look#but he said he got the wrong number and was looking for a Natalie. and he didn’t say anything but i had a feeling that it was actually—#not another victim. because for the sake of others i want him to become a better person even if i don’t want to be there to see that#but he casually said sorry and it was nice to see me. and then the call ended#of course i had kinda freaked out a little but kept cool for my parents. but it didn’t feel as bad as it had before.#i kept eating and the dream ended#now i know realistically if i did see him in real life i don’t know what I’d do but it wouldn’t be good#but with so many people and a world so big hopefully I’ll never have to worry about that#but knowing i can handle it a bit better internally with every passing day makes me feel better#rose.txt
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kurv4 · 11 months
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#vent in the tags#WARNING: VENT IN THE TAGS!!#tbh its really hard to find disability community irl#at least in my country the amount of other disabled people i met is minimal and finding other disabled peopld my age?? impossible#ive been trying really hard to actually start accepting and defend my disability and try not to hide so much#but it feels really lonely not knowing anyone who is in a similsr situation as me#even tho im part of the lgbt community in my country and in my uni it doesnt erase me being disabeled and that 98% cant really understand#like yea i have few friends at uni who are neurodivergent but i still feel lonely in this regard#with that im not trying to say that they are any less disabled or have it easier or anything like thst#but its still pretty lonely being one of the few physically disabled people in my uni#and being almost all the time the only disabled person my friends even know#im kinda scared of also applying for jobs cause i dont even know if any minimum wage jobs would accept me#i wish i knew someone who is also phys disabled so i can ask them these things and get advice cause rn im so scared#how am i supposed to be even an adult person in society if i cant even get a minimum wage job? where am i supposed to live? what can i eat?#im really lucky my parents are supporting me rn at uni but what do i do after uni#also weird thibg is. why the fuck does it feel like i have to come out 3 separate times??#like why me having to tell someone im disabled feels like im coming out?? girl just look at me for 5 minutes#like. my previous clasmate of 3 years didnt know. WHAT DO U MEAN??#like we were friends. we saw each other 5 times a week for hours. u flirted with me when we were 16. are u dumb??#this is not even the tip of the ice berg. about like 70% of my friends dont know or didnt know until i told them.#like its pretty noticable and visible😭😭 it sounds almost fake that they would be that oblivious but sadly its true lol#anyways lol
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kroakish · 11 months
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apparently I have to do an interview with the case worker. Mom's like, "Oh, she'll probably just ask about your childhood" and I'm like....what am I supposed to do, LIE?
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feybeasts · 4 months
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Totally unrelated to anything- when I was about 16, my high school came down on me because a few kids decided they were gonna spread some bogus claims about "taking a head count" and "threatening motions" in class. I was a documented autistic kid, the school knew this, but by the time my parents and I heard, the school- and an overzealous administrator at the school- decided to go scorched earth, had the police called, a hearing for my "guilt", whole nine yards.
I showed up the next day to the hearing with a lawyer, and within about fifteen minutes, the kids' lies- and the administrator's own absolute failure to establish guilt or even take a moment to do any sort of fact finding- were on full display. I went from being on the verge of being tried as an adult for something I hadn't done because of a few bullies spreading lies, to being in a position to sue the school for every red cent for going ahead with blatant- and easily-disproven- lies, then doubling down.
My greatest regret was not going ahead with the lawsuit. I was a kid, scared, I wanted it to be over.
No reason I bring this up, of course, but... y'know, if anyone was in a similar position of an authority going off the rails on a power trip with no establishing guilt- well... I'd tell you not to make my mistake, and take them to court.
Anyone so foolish as to do that to you will have earned it. Food for thought.
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