#my week has been a mess and im so tired 😩 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gideongrovel · 10 months

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spicy talk, nothing in details or anything, just thoughts about the topic overall,

also tw: for brief mentions of periods, and religious trauma

I think me being so in love with Chop on such a deep emotional level, is probably why I feel so down bad for him more then any other FO 😩 Like I normally would only get a few spicy thoughts for my FOs like a couple days before/after my period, which is just like caused by that rather then like,,,, me actually feeling that way towards a FO?? (idk like the feelings come on their own rather then me choosing to think of it?? like the hormones aren't in my control lol) but it would be more passing thought or fantasies,,, but never strong enough to like,,,, do much about it,,,, and like in the past years during the times when I didnt have a main FO I was thinking alot about, I wouldn't like get that way,,,,,, like id be horny like only 6 times a year 💀,,, like my libido while it's not "non existent",,,, but close to it,,,,,,

Okay like that tangent aside,,,,,,, like I feel like the more I fall in love with Chop the more like [redacted] I am for him,,,,, like I joked the other day he has altered my brain chemistry,,, but it's true 😭 like it doesn't matter what time of the month or day of the week is I'm just,,,, I need him 👁️👁️Also idk why I'm much more like [redacted] when I'm sleepy,,,, and my sleep schedule has been making me feel more tired lately,,,,, so it's all been messing with me as well 🫠 But most days it's just a passing thought,,,, or if like I see a sexual joke or scene in a movie my immediate thought is I want to be with him,,,,, but other days its literally all i can think about,,,,,, which these are feelings to this strong degree are really new for me,,, so it's been very confusing to handle,,,,, like I'm very ace when it comes to real life people,,,, so I'm glad the term ficto.sexual exist since personally for ME it helps to like,,,,,, compartmentalize it and I can understand it better,,,,, as well as learning the label ace.spike,,,, that has also helped,,,,,

but I just love my wife so much,,,, but like I feel bad for having sexual thoughts sometimes due to religious trauma and other trauma (don't worry about it) I've been getting better at it and like overcoming it,,, but like,,,, my feelings about sex and sexual attraction feel like a tangled web sometimes,,,,, 🙃🙃🙃 like I love Chop so much romantically first,,,, and because of that love and our deep soulmate connection, I started to feel these other things about him as well at an intense level,,,,, like the romantic attraction grew stronger, which caused a sexual attraction to grow,,,,

idk why im oversharing with yall, but i need to clear the brain fog

#my post

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iwaasfairy · 3 years

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ok hi fairy im back again... hello yes its me 🪴 anon.

so i’ve been headcanoning and thinking about this specifically for a few days.. maybe a few weeks but i just think meian would simply dance in the kitchen with you (be it midnight or 7:30 in the morning while you and him make breakfast... ETC.) to “more than a woman” 2006 remaster 😩 on repeat for like an hour. he’d grab your waist, pick u up set you on the counter while he probably burns the omelettes or toast or plays with your hair, spins you around, showers you in kisses and blows rasperries and maybe even just watches you with a fat fucking smile on his face and says i love you

i JUST THINK DANCING IN THE KITCHEN AND MAkiNG FOOD WITH YOU IS A VERY HIM THING IM SO SORRY FOR UNLOADING

i literally fished up smt old from my old blog for pt2 of my destruction because it just fit so well and omg omg omg there’s nothing more romantic i swear i love hIM SO SO MUCH wtfUDSihfjehhfzipjr 💘

tw sickening fluff, my old style is a bit rough too but whatever

You miss him. It’s not surprising you do, you always do. It’s been a month to this day, and you miss him. You already missed him after two days of being alone. Because that’s what happens when he leaves. You’re alone. Out of choice, mostly. When he leaves there’s this lingering feeling of goodbye that keeps you from going out. If you stay in, you don’t have to come back home to goodbye.

In your upset state though, it seems you might have missed something. You would never leave the house if you didn’t have to, but when you come back from a walk, courtesy of your best friend, you are expecting coming home to the same goodbye that runs through your home.

You come home to a hello instead. Soft, and careful, because he knows how you get, arms wide open and waiting for you to run in and surround him with love. It doesn’t take long for exactly that to happen. It’s almost dangerous how addicted you are to him, but both of you are too busy falling to care. It’s a mess of kisses and limbs, wrapping around each other to show how much you’ve missed each other. Warm and safe, tucked under his chin into an emotional embrace.

It’s in the silence that you think you can hear yourself smile, so wide your cheeks hurt. It’s in the silence that he pushes fluttering kisses on your lips and cheeks and tears, and holds you to his heart. It’s in the silence that he walks you to the kitchen, and takes out a bottle of champagne and two glasses and ignores your giggles.

And then the silence is broken, when you finally mutter how much you’ve missed him, taking a first sip. You tell him how much you love him, and he mumbles it back. You tell him how you’re grateful that he’s back, that he’s letting you breathe, and he comforts you with gentle touches and even gentler words. That he is glad to be home, that he’s so happy, that he’s grateful to be back, grateful for you. You drink and laugh, and share soft kisses, fluttering over your neck and jaw. You tell him your thoughts and he tells you his stories. You tell him your dreams, memories, while he smiles at each one, brushing your hair out of your face. You pour yourself another glass, downing it too quickly, and giggle when he tells you to slow down.

You two put the glasses down then, more than a little tipsy, and put on the cheesiest songs you can think of on repeat, rocking each other back and forward slowly. Dancing slowly in the warmth of his presence. You share kisses that are more giggles than actual lips, when you bump into something. You get tired together and go to lay down in the couch, limbs tangled, tingly breaths ghosting over each others skin.

You tell him with whispers that you love his lips, and his eyebrows, and how the tips of his ears color red. You tell him that he has the best hands, and the best cheeks. You show him how much you love everything about him, fingers gliding down all of him, dousing his neck, his shoulders, his knees in open mouth kisses.

He tells you with raspy answers that he loves your smile, and your eyes, and your freckles. He tells you you have the best hair, and the best collarbones. He shows you how much he loves you, as he trails fingers down your spine, over your hips, across your thighs.

When you yawn and rest your head on his chest, he smiles at you like you’re the most precious thing in the universe. He picks you up and carries you to the bedroom, tucking your small shape into the fluffy blankets. You tell him how scared you are you’re just dreaming, when he comes to join you underneath the warm covers. How you don’t want him to fade again. He hums and shelters you, warmth coming to curl around you two. He tells you that he wants to stay this time. You tell him you know, and that you’d like that too.

You two stay like that, slowly drifting to sleep, never losing touch of each other. You both roll back and forward, limbs stretching out subconsciously to have more, feel more, touch more, because even asleep you two are in love. You steal blankets and then wake up halfway through to make sure he’s warm, and covered.

He wakes up first, kissing you with puffy eyes, and bed hair. He lingers in the silence, arms still around you and legs tangled with yours, until he can fully comprehend outside of the sleepy haze. He opens his eyes to your face, so full of love and gratitude, it shines from his eyes and pulls the sunshine through the window. He looks at you, and tells you he loves you, even if you can’t hear him.

You wake up to tickles, and kisses, soft whispers with a deep morning voice breaking through. You wake up with tears, because he’s truly there. You smile softly at him, and tell him he’s beautiful. You tell him he will forever be your safe haven, even when he’s away.

He tells you he wants to be forever next to you, and you know he means every word.

You promise him you’ll wait, always.

#honey mail #🪴 nonnie #🍵mr.meian

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