#nixyaks

[sandsorghum]

new year old obsessions

i am down bad for higuruma hiromi

like, oh, Mr Lawyer, you can get me off? Yeah, i bet you could

gege needs to stop enabling my addictions to world weary workaholics who dream of a kinder society, like pls. n o.

my self-respecc goes straight out the window when it comes to this manic idealist sadboi gone terribly wrong right wrong?

there's just smth about that guy that makes me wanna grab him by the tie and -i wanna tear this attorney to pieces goddamnit

don't get me wrong nanami is still it for me, but variety's the spice of life y'know? their appearances are just so different

it's not hyperbole when i say i believe nanami could 100% be scouted off the street as a couture model. he's stop-dead-in-your-tracks-right-there-get-whiplash-at-a-traffic-junction-from-how-your-head-spins-round gorgeous (eye bags, pissed expression and even blood flecked high on those cheekbones and all) His stature, his gait, everything from the way he walks to the way he fking stands I'd find enrapturing.

whereas hiromi, no offense, doesn't quite have the same double take effect. maybe i am way more smitten with his characterization at first impressions? i have a feelin' he's a lot less dominant and forward in bed, but exudes his own very unique brand of control? idk he's just able to compel and convince you to do what he wants. Sigh.

everyday i stray a lil farther from sanity and reality

also hi , uyueah, uh i'm alive i guess. how are yalls' 2023 going so far

Sanely?

pls Stop bragging.

anyway febuary is right around the corner so you know what that means! It's SUGURU SEASON SOON. I will be preparing a couple of pieces, fingers crossed I can finish them on time.

#nixyaks #i cannot with how atrociously aggressively attractive everyone is in this series #the way they can all get it #is a violation of decency #im sorry its manic hours here #jjk #higuruma hiromi #nanami kento #ive missed writing!! #i have so many ideas for hiromi yall don't know how mad he's making me

[sandsorghum]

just gotta shove it off my chest

i really love nanami kento, i think he has a hold on my soul like no other character before, and i hope hence. it's like a once in a lifetime connection. i don't know if it'll be fundamentally different in the years to come, but he's helped me realise a lot of things about the world, about my self, about the (hidden?) costs of optimism.

he evokes a tenderness in me, a rawness in me, a rebellion in me i didn't know i had, or maybe i suspected having and subsequently tried to snuff - but underneath it all the shame and scoffing and self-chastising that oh god come on he's f i c t i o n a l - when i think of the hours i (and so many others) have spent writing, designing, despairing, dreaming about someone so exemplary, so tragic, so inspiring - i don't know, that feels real as anything else to me. i immortalize him in fragments of midnight. in phrases i know i'll cringe at in the future, be it in 7 hours or 7 years from now (likely the latter.) i write them anyway.

i can't help it, my dearest muse

Nanami glimmers in a corner of my mind when i pore over prose and poetry and lyrics. when the scent of freshly baked sourdough wafts over as i step into a cute bakery, or hear the grate of a bread knife. when i hear the song "black water" by OMAM, something blooms and withers and blooms again in its fading chords.

he chose how to live. he understood what that certainty entailed, demanded. don't we all find that conviction enviable, that apparent lack of regret? i think i believed you when you said that. but that's where the fiction starts, in the margins. we'll never know what such resolute solitude did to you, what it would have done. And every conjecture is an opportunity for joy, escapism, more misery.

Or reconciliation.

i carry rot in my ribs, a splintered birdhouse, an abandoned nest. we all do. It is just a clump of twigs, but i don't know what to do with it. Move one stick and it feels like everything could collapse.

Kento, you're as real as the caterpillars making cavities in my chest. Your cocoon was wound just as tight. There's scraps of paper and broken pencil lead and moth wings in here. Do you think I can throw everything out, start over? But see, here are the shells, the tufts of feathers. Something hatched, grew, cried out.

Maybe something will return to roost again. will build a roof again.

#nanami kento #i dont know where this rant went #i just #I LOVE HIM #SO MUCH #jujutsu kaisen #nixyaks #drowning in a stream of consciousness #i miss you #jjk

[sandsorghum]

casually musing over what's a good collective term for nanami simps.

Opinions on #crumbsquad? (because gege gives us so little and we're forced to have sustenance based off that- the injustice i stg)

also homage to his bakery hoppin' hobby. god he's so precious pls my haerrt let me bake ciabatta for you

#nixyaks #also rejected #see: nanamin-fiends #but that's not apt #yall are really sweet most of the time #('cept when we're feral #which is absolutely warranted shutup) #nanami kento #crumbsquad #? #trialing it #jujustu kaisen

[sandsorghum]

here to announce the higuruma hiromi hype train agenda is 100% real and i'd very much like to be its conductor for the next few weeks pls and thanmkyew.

#nixyaks #higuruma hiromi #mr unff 3.0

[sandsorghum]

Hi!!! I just finished reading your fic old bodies, new memories and it’s SO GOOD!!!!! The writing is amazing, I can tell how smart you are through it!! I was wondering if/when you were going to update it? No worries if not I would just love to keep an eye out for the finished product if you are. Have a good day :)

Ahhh, anon thank you for such a bright and lovely message!

Originally I had really hoped to update it in time for Nanami's birthday (3 July) but seeing that that deadline is in about five days, it's unlikely

But! I'm definitely going to be publishing a piece here to commemorate/celebrate his existence, so I hope that tribute tides you over in the meantime!

I'm determined to wrap OBNM by this year, it was my first ever longform fic. I'm so happy people still read and cherish it but my feelings+opinions about Kento (and how to write him) have evolved a lot since I started on it, for the better I think.

It's good to be at least a little dissatisfied with one's early work, otherwise imo it'd be a sign of stagnation. Plus that story tends to take/demand quite a lot of emotional input, if there's been a longer than usual delay, that's probably why! so I'm extra grateful for your patience and encouragement

Thank you for sharing in this love and madness for Kento <3

#sandbox #nixyaks #obnm #jujutsu kaisen #nanami kento #it's always heartening when the thing you think has been languishing and gathering dust turns out to be a shaft of sunlight for someone

[sandsorghum]

not me coming up with fake dating hcs for a whole half of the cast as an excuse to write a slow dancing scene with nanami 👀 👀 👀

#nixyaks #im a silly lil simp #for all of them but mostly most of all him #no because #think how cute he'd be #either all tentative and barely cupping those broad palms over your hips #or like gives no fucks and cinches them around your waist presses yourback to his chest and crosses his arms around your bust #sorry i have two point five moods. #hes so sexy im in literal distress #nanami kento

[sandsorghum]

IM GONNA WATCH JJK 0 IN THREE DAYS!!!

This is an advance apology for the person i will become afterward- or an early eulogy for the individual i've been up to this point, because that one will probably die after Wednesday.

it's been a full year of starvation y'all, of almost no new Nanami content, and to have him in such a glorious return is just too much probably. Idk it's like feeding someone a whole ton of cheesecake after they've crossed a desert.

Delicious? Absolutely.

Nutritious or good for their health? Debatable.

BUT STILL.To behold all 50 SECONDS (or so) of his pure power and beauty and selfless empathy again after so long, I-

I'm beginning to wonder if seeing it mid-week is a good idea because imma be forced to function normally after that? Like I dunno if I can? My heart will be in shambles?? My brain inflamed , my loins flooded-

Not to mention this other fine assbutt. Ugh. The real assbutt...

I don't know how devastating seeing Suguru for the first time will be, I only know I'm not fking ready for any of it. Pls pray for me yall.

And I'll give my thanks by bleeding my heart out into a bunch of fics. I mean, I'm already a shriveled husk but I will bleach my bones dry for these men.

#nixyaks #idk im too excited #better finish all my work deadlines before tues #cause i cant be accountable or intelligible after #nanami simping