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aimlessglee · 2 years

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OFMD Transcript: 1.04 Discomfort in a Married State

This transcript was created by the folks at tvshowtranscripts.ourboard.org. The original can be found at Our Flag Means Death Season 1, Episode 4 Discomfort In a Married State. I added the dialogue tags and some scene notes because I found that useful. Let me know if this is helpful to anyone else and I’ll do the rest. Again, I did not create the original transcript and no infringement is intended. I just wanted to create the resource I needed.

Split scene: Mary and her mother in a living room, Stede and Father Bonnet in a carriage.

Mary: So, I have to marry a complete stranger? Mary's Mother: Well, yes. He's not some derelict. He has money. Stede: I just... I thought that when I did marry it could be for love. Father Bonnet: Peasants marry for love. Mary has acreage.

In a salon, having a portrait painted.

( both sigh ) Stede: I'm Stede, by the way. Mary: I know. Mary. Stede: Oh, yes. I know.

Stede, Mary, and their families are standing on a beach. It's their wedding.

Priest: Consider... the humble lighthouse. A beacon, an unwavering light that guides. And you shall be that for each other. ( horn blows ) For eternity. ( light applause ) Mother Bonnet: Oh, congratulations! We've purchased something for your big day. A gift! Mary: Oh! Graves. Stede: Huh. Mother Bonnet: Yes! Wow.

In the Bonnets' house. Mary and Stede are at the dining room. ( light classical music plays under clattering and children laughing )

Mary: Stede? ( laughter continues ) Mary: Stede? ( Alma screams ) Stede: Mm-hm? Mary: Will you please play with your children? Stede: Mm-hm. ( playful screaming, laughter continue ) Mary: (sounding frustrated) And don't play pirates with them. They'll have nightmares again. Stede: (to children) Rawr! ( screaming ) Ha, ha! I'm the greatest pirate that ever lived. Ah! Please! ( children laughing ) Alma: Any last words, dog? Stede: Spare me! I have a family. Alma: Sorry, boy-o. Scoundrels spare no one! (she pretends to stab Stede, overlaid by the Spanish stabbing Stede) Alma: And that's how we treat pirates.

In Stede's cabin. Blackbeard is smoking a pipe and watching Stede sleep. He puts his feet up on the edge of Stede's bed.

Stede: (weakly in his sleep) Mary, we were just playing pirates. ( somber music playing over children laughing )

On the foredeck of the Revenge. (lively classical music plays over waves roaring )

Izzy: Been lookin' for you everywhere. We need to move quickly, before the Spanish realize we've massacred all their men. Blackbeard: Oh, the Spanish. They die quite dramatically, don't they? The Spaniards? Lots of blubbering for their God. Izzy: Yeah, agreed. Now, we really should discuss... Blackbeard: Izzy, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy, Izzy. Look out there. Those clouds. Do they look like frankfurters to you? Izzy: They look like clouds, boss. Can we just focus on... Blackbeard: Yes, yes, they look like clouds because they are indeed clouds, but if you just put some fucking imagination into it, man. Izzy: I suppose they look like sausages. Blackbeard: Frankfurters, yes. Exactly. It's like pulling teeth with you sometimes, man. Let's get to it. What've we got here? Izzy: Well, the ship sustained some damage in the crossfire, and the crew's completely useless, bottom of the barrel. Blackbeard: Mm-hm. What's the plan for them? The uszh (usual) - make 'em repair the ship, execute 'em. Blackbeard: Right... the uszh. Hm. Black Pete: I bet he's saying something genius. He's history's most brilliant tactician. I wonder if he'll recognize me. Lucius: You know, I thought he'd be taller. Ivan: (hitting Black Pete) Shush. Black Pete: Ah! Fuck! Fang: Back to work. Blackbeard: Boys, boys, boys, hey. Let's not brutalize our guests like that. (Black Pete wheezing as Blackbeard swings down to the main deck on a rope) Frenchie? (offscreen): Fuck, yeah! Whoo! ( cheers and applause ) Blackbeard: Hello, everyone. I'm Blackbeard. Roach: Huge fan, sir. Huge. Blackbeard: Well, that's lovely, but you don't need to say sir, all right? It's just Blackbeard. Roach: Yes sir, Blackbeard, sir! Nice to meet you. Hello. The Swede: Hi. Blackbeard: Nice to meet you. Hi, how are ya? Hey. I love all the rope. Everyone's wearing rope. Everyone's grubby, as well. Filthy. Look at this bunch! Wild characters on the high seas. ( laughs ) Izzy... ( bird squawking ) Izzy, come here. They've got a bird guy. Look at this thing. Hello. Buttons: Karl conveys his warm regards, Captain. Blackbeard: And Karl's the bird, yeah? Buttons: Karl's the bird. Blackbeard: Karl's the bird. Frenchie: Sorry, sir, Blackbeard, sir. I was just wonderin' if we're gonna be able to live or die... Izzy: ( shouts ): Right, come on! Blackbeard has business to attend to! Fang! Fang: (hisses) Back to work! Black Pete: (being punched in the stomach by Ivan) Oh! Jesus! Blackbeard: Izzy, why don't we have a bird guy?

In the Bonnets' house. ( light harpsichord playing )

Mary: Ready? Happy anniversary, darling. Stede: ( gasps ) Oh... look at that. What is it? Mary: It's a painting of the lighthouse. Stede: Mm-hm. Mary: From our wedding. Stede: ( gasps ) Mary: Yes! We are to be lighthouses for each other, remember? Stede: That's right. Mary: Yes. Stede: Yeah, yeah. And the children did that? Oh gosh, they're good. Mary: I painted it. Stede: But they... Hm? You did? Mary: Yep. Stede: Yes, absol... Oh, you can tell. Wait! Et voilà! What do ya think? Mary: It's a toy? Stede: It's a model of a ship. What would you say to living on something like that? You, me, the kids... at sea. Mary: Why on Earth would we do that? Stede: I don't know. Break the monotony. Mary: Our life feels monotonous to you? Stede: No! No, it doesn't, does it? Um... I just think that ( sighs ) why waste our time here, day after day, doing the same old thing when we could be doing this! We could be on a ship having adventures. Mary: Do you know I hate the ocean? I said so just the other day. Stede: What? When? Mary: When we were standing by the fucking ocean! I don't want a boat, Stede! And I don't hate our lives! At least, not so much that I would wanna do this! Stede: I'll get it stopped. Mary: Get what stopped? I mean... Get what stopped?! Stede: Nothing. Mary: You're not having this built, are you? Stede: No... No, th-this is just an idea. This is it. I'm sorry. That's it.

In Stede's cabin.

Blackbeard: This place is amazing. Izzy, look, look at this shit. ( giggles ) Look at that! It's a teeny-tiny version of this ship. Izzy: It appears so, yeah. So, Edward... Blackbeard: He's got all sorts of knick-knacks and trinkets. Izzy: Edward? Blackbeard: This guy's fucking fascinating. Izzy: Edward, focus. We need a plan. Blackbeard: I'm focusing. I'm focusing on all of this brilliant stuff. Izzy: Edward, we really need a plan. Blackbeard: Crazy little trinkets. Izzy: Come on, a plan. Blackbeard: Yes! We always need a fuckin' plan, all right?! And then what? Then we fuckin' execute the plan, then we get another plan, then what do we do? We execute that, and so on, and so on, and again, and again, and again, and again. It's all so fucking boring! ( heavy sigh ) I'm bored out of my skull, man. Is this all there is? I shouldn't be bored. I'm fucking Blackbeard. Izzy: Well, as bored as you might be, if you don't make a decision soon, we're gonna fuckin' die. Blackbeard: ( contemplative music plays ) Ooh, now, there's an idea. I haven't done that yet. I haven't died yet, have I? Maybe we should try that. Izzy: Do, do wh-what? ( door closes ) Yeah, 'cause that makes sense.

The crew are on the deck of the Revenge.

Oluwande: So, we're thinkin' they're gonna kill us, yeah? Jim: I would if I were them. Look at us. Ugh... God. Que te pasa, huh? You've been lookin' at me all day. The Swede: So, this whole time you were a woman? Jim: Yeah... I guess. I don't know. The Swede: And you're not a mute? Jim: No, I'm not a mute. The Swede: I did not see that coming at all.

Buttons stands at the rail of the Revenge.

Buttons: Found somethin' youse might wanna look at. These wee black dots look about Spanish to me. What do you think? Right. Izzy: (looks through a telescope) Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck... Buttons: Hola.

In Stede's cabin. Stede is in his bunk with Blackbeard sitting next to him

Stede: Mary? ( whimpers ) Blackbeard: Who's this Mary then? Lucius: Hey, Stede, I really hope you're not dead 'cause things have taken a very... Oh, u-um... S-Sorry, uh, didn't mean to bother you. Blackbeard: No bother. Tell me, can you count? Lucius: Y-Yes. ( Scoffs nervously ) Blackbeard: Backwards. Lucius: Um... Sh... Yes. Blackbeard: I want you to start counting back from one hour forty-seven minutes, and I want you to start... Now. Lucius: Sixty, 59 58... 57 56... Blackbeard: Good, keep going. Come find me when you're done. Lucius: 52, 53... Oh god, shit. 50... Blackbeard: And fetch us a cold rag, would you? Lucius: Absol... Yes! Whatever you want, sir. Fif... Uh, 49, 48... Stede: (in his sleep) Coward. I was a coward.

In the Bonnets' bedroom.

Mary: Stede? I know you're unhappy. I'm unhappy, too. Stede: I'm not unhappy. Mary: No? Sometimes, I think I... I've heard you crying. By yourself? Stede: Uh... no. It's probably the wind you're hearing, or an owl. Might be an owl. Mary: I know we never would've chosen each other, not in a million years, but... all we have is this one life. We have to try, don't we? Otherwise, what's the point? Stede: ( fake snoring, then sitting up and whispering ) Mary? Mary?

Stede in voiceover, reading a letter: Dearest Mary... You deserve happiness, as do I. My hope is that the vast wealth and property I leave behind for you and the children will suffice. I've sold an acre or two for my own needs, but the rest is yours. You're quite right. We only have this one life. Fond regards, Stede.

Stede is in his bunk in his cabin. He is seeing visions.

Hallucination!Mary: You are such... a disappointment. Stede: Mary?! Hallucination!Mary: Did you really think a letter was enough? Stede: Oh, Mary. I've been stabbed. Hallucination!Mary: Yes... Congrats. I mean, piracy? You left me to be... a pirate? Stede: It's not you. It was me. I was just uncomfortable in a married state. Hallucination!Father Bonnet: A pirate? Ah! He was scared of geese, for Christ's sake. ( Laughs over geese honking ) Hallucination!Mary: Goodbye, Stede. Enjoy hell. ( dramatic music plays as they burn up ) Stede: Ah! Ah! Hallucination!Alma: Scoundrels spare no one. Stede: Ah! Ahh! Ahhh! ♪ ♪

In Stede's cabin. Stede is in his bunk with Blackbeard next to him.

Blackbeard: Hey. That was a close call, wasn't it? Got yourself pretty stabbed up there by some Spaniards. Stede: My crew! Blackbeard: Shh, shh, shh! Stede: Ah! ( winces in pain ) Blackbeard: Crew's okay. They're fine. You need to relax. You gotta take it easy. Otherwise, your guts will start poppin' out all over the place. Stede: What? Do you work for Blackbeard? Blackbeard: Do... Never thought about it like that, yeah. I suppose I do work for Blackbeard. Hmm... I'm Ed. Stede: Hey... Stede.

The crew are on deck, repairing the Revenge. ( hammering )

Roach: Psst... Hey. Are you still Jim? You know, on account of you being a... ( whispers ) A lady now. Jim: Haven't really thought about it. Wee John Feeney: Course she's not Jim. What kind of a name is Jim for a lady?Roach: My uncle's name is Margaret. Wee John: Margaret's kind of an either/or name. I think Jim's strictly for dudes. The Swede: If you're not going to be Jim anymore, can I be Jim?

In the auxiliary wardrobe in Stede's cabin.

Stede: (sighs ) He probably thinks I'm a fool, that Blackbeard. I'm a terrible pirate. Blackbeard: Oh, come on. You know, most of the pirates I know, they're dead. So you're doing a hell of a lot better than them. Stede: ( scoffs ) You're a good man, Ed. How long have you been on his crew? Blackbeard: Oh, long enough. Too long, maybe. To be honest, I'm thinking about packing it all in. It can be a bit of a grind. Is this silk? Stede: Oh, no. That's actually a rather exquisite cashmere. Blackbeard: Rather exquisite cashmere. Stede: Oh! Do you fancy a fine fabric? Blackbeard: I think maybe I do. Yeah. Stede: Can you keep a secret? ( he pulls a secret lever and a door creaks )Blackbeard: Fuck off. Stede: I've had a few secret passages built into the ship. You know, just for fun. Blackbeard: Fucking mental! Stede: This is my auxiliary wardrobe. It's a back-up to my actual wardrobe. Blackbeard: Okay. Stede: Winter jackets. Autumn vibe. Summer linen. Blackbeard: ( exhales ) All of this is yours? Stede: Afraid so. I'm a bit of a clotheshorse. Oh, I've been lookin' for these. Fab. Izzy: Ed? Ed? Edward, you in here? We don't have all day Stede: ( softly ) Is that Blackbeard? Blackbeard: Hm? No, uh, I'm Blackbeard. Shh.

The crew are in the galley, eating a meal together.

Wee John Feeney: We have a serious question to ask you. Are you a mermaid? Oluwande: ( chuckles ) I told you. Jim: ( mouth full ) I'm not a mermaid. Frenchie: Right, okay. Wee John: No, but the way you said that was definitely kinda mermaid-y. Roach: Yeah, I heard it. Frenchie: That's what I was thinking. Jim: I'm not a fucking mermaid! Frenchie: All right. Izzy: Has anyone seen Blackbeard? What're you doing? Oluwande: Eating. Izzy: You don't get food when you've been invaded. You live at my pleasure! Back to work! Useless fuckin' fuckers! ( door shuts ) Black Pete: Alls I know is women are bad luck on ships. ( all agree ) Historically. Jim: That's a myth. Frenchie: Well, no, actually, science, because women have crystals in their body, and the crystals attract demons. Roach: Yeah. Frenchie: And the demons attract misfortune. You know, the French call it... Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Jim: I'm only gonna say this once. Frenchie: Once is fine. Jim: Mm-hm. So, listen up. Frenchie: Yeah. Jim: I've been on this ship for weeks now, and we haven't crashed. Hm? Roach: We were attacked by the Spanish. But... Jim: Ay, bendito. Look, everyone... I'm gonna keep this very simple. You all know me as Jim, sí? Frenchie: Yeah, good ol' Jim. Jim: So just... keep calling me Jim. Huh, nothing's changed. Except, I don't have the beard, and my, my nose is different, and I can speak now, yes. Anyone got a problem with that? ( all muttering "no" ) Frenchie: Certainly not. The Swede: It makes sense. Always liked Jim. Frenchie: Yeah, good guy. You know, he's great. The Swede: Yeah.

In Stede's cabin. ( lively harpsichord playing )

Stede: And this is my pride and joy. Blackbeard: Incredible. You've read all of these? Stede: Many times. These are just my favorites. Blackbeard: ( scoffs in wonder ) Stede: Ooh, here's one you might appreciate. Where is it? Oh. Yeah. Blackbeard: Oh god. Is this what they think I look like? Hm? fucking viking vampire clown with... Look at that. There's one, two, three, four nine guns all over him. Nine guns?! It's... too many. I have... I, I have one gun and one knife. Just like everyone else. Stede: I didn't mean to upset you. Blackbeard: No, it's not you. It's... ( winces ) It's just fucking hard sometimes, you know? You ever feel trapped? Like you're just treading water? Waiting to drown? Stede: Yes. I have... I very much have felt that way... Blackbeard: Blackbeard always wins. That's the thing. He can't fail. It's not even a challenge anymore. People just see the flag and they freak out. "Blackbeard!" And they basically just give up. They surrender. What's the point? I don't even need to be on the boat. I'm a ghost. There's no chaos. There's no drama. There's no fuckin' life! Stede: Look... I can't believe I'm saying this, but... have you ever considered retirement? Blackbeard: What the fuck is that? Stede: Oh! Oh well, it's when you stop working by choice to pursue a life of leisure. Blackbeard: That's a thing? Hmm. ( sighs ) Retirement. You got it all sussed out, don't you? You know how hard it is to find someone doing something original out here? It's impossible, man. And here you come with your library, and your fancy quarters, and your secret little closet full of, full of frilly shirts and, and summer linens. ( exhales ) fuck. Look it. There's two chandeliers. That's overkill. An open fire on a wooden vessel surrounded by bits of paper. You're a fuckin' lunatic, and I like it. Stede: ( scoffs ) I know it all seems great, but, really, if I could just be like Blackbeard, even just for a moment... ( Blackbeard scoffs ) Honestly, I would give all of this away. Blackbeard: Hey... Do you want to do something weird?

On deck with the crew. Blackbeard exits Stede's quarters wearing Stede's clothes. ( cheery music playing over hammering, sawing )

Blackbeard: Crew of "The Revenge," please put your hands together, and welcome your brave, brave Captain... Blackbeard. (Stede enters wearing Blackbeard's clothes) Clap. ( slow applause ) Stede: Hello, everybody! Yes, I am the legendary Blackbeard. Hello, everyone! Ooh, ooh, and this is my new pal, Stede. Blackbeard: Ooh, well, how do you do? Black Pete: What is even happening right now? Blackbeard: I know. Come on, you lot. Come on. Come on. Line up. Line, line up. Line up... Stede: I'm back! Blackbeard: And greet your Captain. He escaped the jaws of death. Crews: ( confused muttering ) Frenchie: Glad you're not dead, Captain. Stede: Good to see you. Blackbeard: Did you see that? This is amazing! Izzy: A word, Cap'n? (leads Blackbeard into the ship) Blackbeard: You can be a real bummer sometimes. You know that? Izzy: When you tasked me with trackin' that absolute idiot, I did that, no questions asked. And when we traced him to a Spanish warship, I attacked that ship, losin' several of our men, by the way. Blackbeard: Mm, kinda the job. They're pirates. Izzy: For years, I've followed your every whim, I've managed your increasingly erratic moods, I've massaged this crew when they were worried about your judgment. Blackbeard: Mm, sounds stressful, Izzy. Izzy: It is, but I did all that because I was honored to work for the legendary Blackbeard, the most brilliant sailor I had ever met. But now, you're just an... insane, unpleasant shell of a man who's merely posing as Blackbeard. Blackbeard: That's Blackbeard. ( Captain Stede winces ) I'm Stede, remember? Izzy: I'm not dying. Not for that ponce and not for you. So, I'm gonna devise a plan, and when we, once again, barely eke by to fight another day, I will very willingly offer you this: My fuckin' resignation, you absolute twat! Black Pete: ( grunts as Izzy pushes him out of the way and takes Stede by the lapels ) Stede: Oh, it's you. ( grunts and winces ) Izzy: How quickly can we move this vessel? Stede: I'm not sure. That's really the crew's thing. Ah! Izzy: How are you stocked for munitions? Stede: Ed! Do you know this guy? He's a complete asshоlе! Ooh! Izzy: Ivan! Fang! Prepare the guns. Execute anyone who won't fight. Stede: What? Blackbeard: Well, Blackbeard what do you think? Do you concur? Stede: Me? Blackbeard: I mean, you wanted to be Blackbeard, this is what it's like. Stede: We could just talk to them. Blackbeard: Okay, yes, and do you speak Spanish? Stede: No. Blackbeard: Mmm. Stede: Maybe they understand ecclesiastical Latin. Lucius: Twenty, 19, 18, 17, 16... Blackbeard: Uh-oh, time's almost up. What're you gonna do? Stede: What?! Blackbeard: They're on us now. Time for a new idea, Stede. Stede: W-W-We talk. Blackbeard: The crew's gonna die. Stede: I don't... have an idea! Blackbeard: Hurry, you're gonna lose all your men. It's all gonna be your fault. Lucius: Six, five... Blackbeard: All of the men who trusted you. Stede:I don't know! Blackbeard: All their blood's gonna be on your hands. It's going to be your fault! Stede:I don't know! Lucius: Time's up! Stede:I don't what to do! Blackbeard: Death it is. But, wait... Black Pete: You're a genius, Blackbeard! I knew you'd save us. Stede: What?

On deck. It's very foggy. ( ethereal music playing )

Izzy: I don't believe it. Fang: This fog's as thick as stew. No one'll see us in this. Ivan: This is why you do not doubt Captain Blackbeard! Genius on the ship! ( cheers and applause ) Crew offscreen: Alright! Bravo. Stede: You knew this would happen? How? Blackbeard: Quite simple, really. The color of this morning's sky coupled with the... brisk westerly wind made me think we'd be safe. And then, the shape of the clouds confirmed it. Izzy: Frankfurters. Blackbeard: Yeah. Izzy: Fuck me. Blackbeard: ( laughs) Izzy, I figured the fog would set in once the sea cooled around dusk. Crew: ( all impressed ) Buttons: 'Cept we're right in their path. They'll run smack into us. Blackbeard: Correct! On any other day. For it is September 2nd, and tonight's a full moon. So lift anchor, and let the ocean current drift us into the warm embrace of safety. Crew: ( cheers and applause ) Izzy: Ed, it's... Ed, Ed, it's September 1st, boss. Blackbeard: What's that, mate? Izzy: It's September the 1st. Blackbeard: Dickfuck, no, it's not. Lucius: He's right. It's the 1st. The full moon's tomorrow. Blackbeard: It's a leap year. Stede: Leap year? Does that change things much? Blackbeard: Yeah. We're goners. ( somber music playing ) Those of you who can swim would be wise to do it now. Stede: Wait, what are you gonna do? Blackbeard: I'm sorry. Stede: Where are you going? Blackbeard: The Captain goes down with the ship. I'm gonna get pissed. Fang?: Blackbeard! Stede: Wait... Ed. Lucius: I never got to see the world. Frenchie: Ah, it's a bit of a letdown to be honest, mate. It's just kind of rocky and flat, and rocky and flat.

In Stede's cabin. Blackbeard is lying on the couch drinking.

Blackbeard: You know, I thought I'd have a cooler death than this. Something like being eaten, eaten by a tiger, or massaged to death by mermaids, or... belly-flopping into a volcano. Stede: ( sighs as he sits down. He's holding the lighthouse painting. children laughing ) Blackbeard: What's that painting? What is it? A grain tower? Stede: Oh, it's a lighthouse. I should've been one for my family. And guide them. Blackbeard: Hmm. Well, technically, you're supposed to avoid lighthouses, so you don't crack up on the rocks. Stede: I never really thought about it that way. Blackbeard: Mm, no one does. Both in unison: We need to be a lighthouse!

In the crow's nest. Stede and Blackbeard are still wearing each other's clothes. ( buoyant music playing over quiet chatter and noises of exertion )

Stede: All right, lads! I'm here! ( grunting ) Blackbeard: All right, that should do it. All right. Stede: Is this gonna throw enough light? Blackbeard: Should do, yeah. Here. Take a swig. Yeah? Don't swallow it. Stede: Mm. Blackbeard: Okay, would you blow into those flames there? Careful of your face. Stede: Mm! Blackbeard: Do it, man! Give it a go now! Go! Yeah, that's it. That's it! Take another swig. Give it another go. In three, two, one, blow! Oh, yes. And again! Keep going. You there, do it! Now! Wee John Feeney: ( imitates foghorn ) Blackbeard: And stop! ( foghorn stops )

On the Spanish ship.

Spanish crew: Mirá! Spanish Captain: No puedo ser. Un faro?

On the Revenge.

Wee John Feeney: ( foghorn sound ) Blackbeard: Again! Wee John Feeney: ( imitates foghorn ) ( stops ) ( flames whoosh )

On the Spanish ship.

Spanish crew: Es un faro. Cambia el rumbo! Spanish captain: El vuelto ganar (not sure here) Barba Negra!

On the Revenge. ( cheery music playing )

Blackbeard: ( gives a thumbs up) Frenchie: ( quietly ): We did it? We did it! Wee John Feeney: ( quiet laughter ) Frenchie: Hey, guys. Crew: ( cheering quietly) Black Pete: Fuck, yes! Crew: ( shushing ) Blackbeard: Yes! We fucking did it!

On the deck of the Revenge the next morning.

Oluwande: Looks like we're gonna live after all. Jim: For a little while longer, at least. Do you think... I can go back to being mute?

In the crow's nest. Stede and Blackbeard are still wearing each other's clothes.

Stede: Hey. Try this. Blackbeard: ( Blackbeard sniffs ) Oh... that's some damn good marmalade. Stede: It's the best. Ship's stores are loaded with it. Had to get rid of some gunpowder, but I think it was the right move. Blackbeard: "The Gentleman Pirate." I should take a leaf out of your book. And then we'll live the high life. Blackbeard: I could take one out of yours. Maybe I'll live a little longer. Blackbeard: Could be arranged. If you were to show me the ways of an aristocrat... I could probably show you a thing or two about being a blood-thirsty pirate. Stede: ( chuckles ) Wouldn't that be something? ( chuckles ) ( birds cawing ) You're serious? Blackbeard: It's the most fun I've had at sea in ages. Stede: Okay... Agreed. ( Blackbeard laughing ) Whoa. Okay. ( clattering from on deck - Izzy is throwing things into a dinghy) Blackbeard: Ah... Oh, I should deal with this. ( ropes creaking )

On the deck of the Revenge.

Blackbeard: Izzy? Izzy: I said some things I regret last night. I don't think you're a shell of a man, or a twat. Blackbeard: ( sighs ) You were right, man. About all of it. Have you ever heard of "retirement"? Izzy: Mm. That's not much of an option in this line of work. The only retirement we get is... death. Blackbeard: What if Blackbeard turned up dead? ( ominous music playing ) His corpse disfigured beyond recognition, of course. Izzy: But still identifiable as Blackbeard. Blackbeard: Well, he's wearing Blackbeard's clothes, he's on Blackbeard's ship. Izzy: What happens to you? Blackbeard: I'm not even here. My name's Stede Bonnet. I'm a wealthy landowner. Of course, the crew would need a new captain. Someone who really knows the ropes. Izzy: You mean me. I suppose it could be me, yeah. Blackbeard: I need you here. Izzy: Edward? You still got it. Blackbeard: I know.

( "The Empty Boat" by Caetano Veloso playing )

♪ From the stern to the bow ♪ ♪ Oh, my boat is empty ♪ ♪ Yes, my heart is empty ♪ ♪ From the hole to the how ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ From the rudder to the sail ♪ ♪ Oh, my boat is empty ♪ ♪ Yes, my hand is empty ♪ ♪ From the wrist to the nail ♪ ♪ From the ocean to the bay ♪ ♪ Oh, the sand is clean ♪ ♪ Oh, my mind is clean ♪ ♪ From the night to the day ♪ ♪ ♪

Our Flag Means Death Season 1 Episode Name: "Discomfort In a Married State" Episode Number(s)4S01E0401x04 Original Airdate 03/09/2022 First Published on tvshowtranscripts.ourboard.org 03/10/22 19:48

#our flag means death #ofmd transcript #ofmd 1.04 #our flag means death transcripts

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 months

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hold me close and hold me fast

#ofmdedit #our flag means death #ed x stede #ofmd spoilers #mine: ofmd #mine #the mirroring of 1.04 = *chef's kiss*

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s1lverleaf · 2 years

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“It is not the human being everyone has idealized but an ordinary person who manages to revolutionize your world in a second.”

#ofmd #ofmdedit #ofmd edit #our flag means death #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ofmdaily #ofmdblog #ofmdgifs #ofmd stede edit #ofmd ed edit #s1lverleaf ofmd gif #1.03 #1.04 #1.07 #1.09

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napneeders · 9 months

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"Mary I've been stabbed" "Yes, congrats" was so funny

#ofmd #mary allamby bonnet #1.04

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goodsirs · 1 year

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a creation for every month of 2022

tagged by @jimmymcgill to list my favorite and most popular post from each month of the past year. thank you for tagging me, sahar! 💕

january

most popular: father paul in midnight mass

favorite: friedkin in dghda 2.10

february

most popular: graylora in willow 1.04

favorite: 1899 1.08

tagging @cononeills @hegodamask @humanveil @oscarspoe @saratomko and @scarstarved if any of you are interested (no pressure, of course)!

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zerodaryls · 2 years

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i just... needed a gif to appreciate whatever the fuck this was

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd 1.04 #discomfort in a married state #edward teach #my posts #my gifs

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all-chickens-are-trans · 2 years

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thinking about stede's "now that's a tough question. I don't know. probably" when olu asks him if he wants to live. thinking about ed's "oh now there's an idea [...], I haven't died yet. maybe we should try that." thinking about how stabbing is their intricate ritual. thinking about how ed came back even though he can be certain it will get him killed.

their flag really does mean death to them. fuck.

#i'm not crying you're crying #especially considering rover's interpretation that ed didn't plan the fog and the full moon and all that in 1.04 at all #if he really didn't know then he fully expected that they were all gonna die #and that's a choice he made #fuck #idk i feel like this should come with a trigger warning i just don't know what #my posts #ofmd

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kaspgaytozier · 2 years

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and you read all of these?

#blackbonnetedit #ourflagmeansdeathedit #stedebonnetedit #ofmdedit #our flag means death #ofmdaily #usereena #userkitkaat #userocida #userkristi #useremly #i just want to hug stede so hard #ofmd 1.01 #ofmd 1.04 #edwardteachedit #*mine*

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 months

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discomfort in a married state

#rewatching 1.04 and that shot of mary and stede really struck me knowing what's coming!!#ofmdedit #our flag means death #ed x stede #mine #mine: ofmd

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napneeders · 5 months

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they have sleepovers where they talk about boys

#edward teach #zheng yi sao #parallels #ofmd s2 #1.04 #2.02 #my gifs

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napneeders · 9 months

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i am unsurprised to report that most of the longer takes in Discomfort in a married state involve either Stede and Mary having marital troubles, Ed and Izzy having marital troubles, or Ed staring at Stede

#i <3 stats #1.04 #ofmd

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 2 months

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got tagged in this a few days ago by the wonderful @mrgaretcarter!

Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they’d be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.

venturing into my google docs to remember all the stories i've abandoned is always such a wild time!! there is truly just whatever in there.

#dollsome's deep thoughts #obviously the pete davidson one was Of Its Time i.e. 2021 romangerri brainrot era

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 months

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OFMD 2.01-2.03 thoughts!

Spoilers aplenty!

I've only watched the episodes the once so far so I'm sure I'm gonna forget a lot of stuff, but I can contain myself no longer, and must speak!

Oh man, I am SO EXCITED. I couldn't sleep because trying to go to bed with this many fictional feelios crackling away inside of me was just impossible, like I'd chugged a crazy amount of caffeine. This is also exactly how I felt the night that 1.09 and 1.10 aired, so it felt so fitting. (Ironically, I'm writing this before I have my caffeine today because I can wait no longer, so it might make no sense. But I have to try!)

I've watched season one soooooo many times -- like, every episode is just completely scored upon my psyche, I basically have the whole thing memorized -- so it felt so WILD to finally be getting MORE and it was REAL! This also reminded me of how the season one finale was perhaps the most upset I've ever been about television, outside of unjust character deaths, HIMYM, etc. -- like, upset in a way where it was narratively thrilling to be so upset, for a change! But the emotional distress of that ending obviously settled down a bit to me once I'd watched the episode for the zillionth time and just really got used to what happened to Ed. That initial shock wore off. So picking up where that episode left off and spending these episodes really bearing witness to him still being in that place was SO VISCERALLY UPSETTING AND WILD AND GREAT!!!!!! Oh my God, Taika Waititi. Aaaaaacting!!!!

Everything just being darker, richer, so unhinged was really thrilling -- we can't really go back to the sort of affable placidity of a lot of season one, or at least not right now, and it just felt really appropriate for where the story is and like a really natural growth to the tone. I think it also really had a sense of exuberance powered by how lovingly received season one was, which just felt great to watch.

The gorgeous New Zealand landscapes, oh my God!!!! And how fitting it feels, now that it's not Stede playing at pirates so much as everything being Really God Damn Real, that the physical world has expanded so much around them and there's so much more of a sense of sublime natural beauty.

STEDE WAS A MERMAN!!!!!! sorry, getting ahead of myself here. But my God, I am so obsessed with the fact that they just went for that moment. It's camp! It's achingly beautiful! It's The Shape of Water, it's Splash, it's Zoolander, it's a reverse Killing Eve that my soul sorely needed! Kate Bush was there! They almost kissed under the water! ED'S LOVE FOR STEDE INTERRUPTED HIS DESIRE TO DIE! AUGHHHHHH.

I'm really, really sad that my internet gave out right in the middle of that sequence. I just feel so bummed that I'll never experience it for the first time the way David Jenkins & Co. intended because technology betrayed me! I will never have known the emotional build of that moment the way it was meant to be seen. 😢 But oh well! I'm dealing with it! I'm being so brave! (I'm always extremely weird about wanting fiction to have the exact impact on me that the creators strove for it to, and it really bothers me when it gets interrupted somehow. But at least, you know, it was just THIS, the show and romance I currently care most about in the WORLD!)

Anyway: the handholding and how it mirrors Ed putting his hand over Stede's and that close-up in 1.04! YES! What a shot to end the episode on, sob sob sob!

I also loved the two close-ups of Ed's eyes, at the start of the wedding rampage and then when he wakes up. Parallels! Yesss!!!

I know we all kinda expected it to happen for the whole hiatus, but that doesn't diminish at all the pure joy and unhingedness of Stede's total love for Ed never wavering even at the news that Ed's rampaging his way across the high seas in a state of total derangement. If that's a dealbreaker, then that's not love! They made him look like a GHOUL!

I really liked the tension between Stede and Lucius because that was something I hadn't really thought to expect. And Stede giving Lucius jaded life advice! Yes!

Sidenote: Lucius, alive? Who could have possibly seen it coming??? (Also, his reunion with Pete, 🥹🥹🥹!)

I also just generally loved getting to see the crew again and all of their antics together figuring out their circumstances. I missed you all so much!!!

MORE LADIES YESSSSS! I love Archie!!!!! I love Zheng!!!! I love Auntie!!!!! And I loved getting to see Spanish Jackie living her best life again! Such a joy to have so many hilarious badass women around. I am living for them all.

The romantic quadrangle stuff popping up with Olu and Jim was great fun on all sides (even if I had to watch makeouts while Jim was holding a recently severed leg; please, set aside the leg!), and I also loved how Jim told Olu about it right away and just the sweet vibes between them in their reunion scene, aww. Looking forward to seeing whatever happens there.

In particular, Zheng crushing on Olu was so cute and like, who can blame her?? History's greatest pirate: she's just like us! Omg, what an enemy for them to have now.

Also, Jim doing the voices for Fang FOREVER!!!!! Such a sweet moment! And Jim's speech about how sweet life on The Revenge used to be and how happy they all were together absolutely tore my heart out. Because yeah!!! I feel like we the audience members were part of that crew too!!! WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!

I had vowed to hate Izzy forever, I held steadfast to my vow for all those hiatus months, and then these three episodes were like, "Ha ha, yeah right!" Magnificently played, ya bastards!!! You got me! I especially loved when he said to Stede that the two of them made Ed into what he became; that was so interesting and I'm really curious to see how Stede and Izzy's dynamic grows. Iz, I am so sorry about your many toes and then your leg. Wishing you the coolest peg leg.

Random sidenote: when Auntie was like, "Buttons is a sea witch contained in the body of a mortal man," I was 100% like ... That makes so much sense, actually??? I, for one, am a believer. Is this why you can speak seagull, sir/sea witch?

The whole sequence with Ed and Dream Hornigold in episode 3 was so good, aughhhhh! And THE RETURN OF JEFF. I love how on some level Ed just wants to work in the hospitality industry. Let! Him! And! Stede! Retire! And! Open! Their! Inn! Slash! Snakery! Snackery!

I am so excited that we have post-credits episode tags now. As if this show could get any more exquisite. IT DID. Now there's always just a lil' nibble more!

I love how, just like in season one, we got our Ed/Stede-less time out of the way quick by having the first three eps all air together. And now, let us sail perilously further into feelings land!

I have so much more to say but I'm so tired and I need black tea. I'm sure I'll be back later today with a zillion more belated thoughts! PEACE! 🧜‍♂️

Also, just a few Cinematic New Zealand Beach Vibes notes -- the opening dream sequence had me like, "Xena and Gabrielle at the end of 'The Bitter Suite'!"* and Ed waking up in beach purgatory had me like, "THE PIANO!" I just had to share. Idk why. Have I mentioned how happy I am that season two gets to be in New Zealand??

*Idk if this is in any way deliberate, but I firmly maintain that Ed/Stede has a lotta roots in Xena/Gabrielle. Like, if you ever feel like the universe simply can't give you enough Ed/Stede (understandable), then you should watch Xena for a lot of similar shippy emotional thrills. OFMD had better give us a nicer ending, tho. (Today I learned from a D. Jenks interview that Blackbeard historically got beheaded!!)

Okay, time to go stare at a million gifsets.

#dollsome's deep thoughts #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd reaction post

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 7 months

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OFMD 2.04 - "Fun and Games" Thoughts

Under the cut! Spoilers aplenty within!

2.04 - Fun and Games

Oh my Godddd, I loved Anne and Mary so much, they were so hilarious, glorious, unhinged, terrifying, spectacular. They’re, like, what I think Eve and Villanelle would’ve really liked being able to picture themselves like as an established couple, when really they would’ve just been Stede and Ed. The madness! The stabbing, the poisoning, the burning your house down; all in a dinner party’s work! I was also obsessed with the set dressing of their house; in my second watch, I was just drinking in all the clutter and the detail in the background. Sometimes, you turn your pirate booty into an antique store in the middle of nowhere that nobody comes to. That’s just life! SUCH a fun and deranged adventure that I cherished utterly. Smacks of the Dinner Party episode of The Office in the best way. (And apparently Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, which both of these are harkening back to, but I haven’t gotten to that one yet! I should probably look into it though, knowing my taste in TV episodes about deranged dinner parties.)

I am a big nerd about looking at connections between corresponding episode numbers in each season, and I really liked how this episode, like 1.04, was about marriage and about getting burned out on marriage. In season one, we had Ed/Stede contrasted with Mary/Stede and Izzy/Ed, and here we’ve got Ed and Stede looking at their relationship in contrast to Mary and Anne’s. I like how this dinner party from hell really confronts them, especially Ed, with the reality of what it’s like to stay in that Toxic Drama Pirate Run from me, darling, run, my good wife Headspace forever (they’re all just in various stages of fucking each other over!), and gives him the perspective that it’s not worth it if it means that becoming his relationship with Stede. Really solidified at the end by Buttons’ miracle transformation after he imparted the wisdom about needing to change for love! And Ed being a doubter who became a believer because the proof was right in front of his beautiful face!

I really love that this episode highlighted Ed and Stede’s irrepressible fondness and liking for each other, which is the thing that made them fall for each other so fast and so totally back in 1.04. You just can’t keep a force like that down! Ed being like “I’m not gonna melt back into your arms!” and then proceeding to melt at Stede’s earnest love for him, especially in the wake of his “I’m unlovable” profession in the gravy boat, was just so much. And Stede being so sincere and so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you! I love everything about you! Breathing the same air!! I don’t even know what to say about that!!!!! They haven’t invented words yet!!!!!!!!! It felt very good to witness with my mere human eyes and ears!!!!!!

Ed saying he was all in!!!!! Twice!!!!!!!! Because Luke/Lorelai never leaves me!!!!!!!!!

Their fighting and their tense moments were wonderful too; so satisfying to be reminded of how much Ed doesn’t know and how much communicating they totally haven’t done, and to finally get to see them starting to wrestle with this stuff onscreen! Also, Ed hiding himself under a blanket on the sofa was so valid. Iconic. The best.

I have felt that line about being insecure about the beard shaving coming since 1.10 aired – I think I worked a version of it into a few fanfics, only one of which got posted – and so getting to actually see it happen onscreen was thrilling. STEDE LOVES HIS CHIN!!!!!! Also, that little compliment about him liking the beard length and Ed being like, “................. Thank you.” I’m a wreck!

Mary’s monologue about them being 14 year old boys who don’t know about relationships was absolutely incredible and incredibly delivered. I don’t know if I, er, agree with her (and hey, she got a surprise from her boo right after that! 🔥 Maybe it’s not all just waiting to see which one of you will die first after all!), but the delivery was just glorious and it tickled me in the context of D. Jenks’ various remarks in interviews about Ed/Stede being, emotionally, a teenage romance at this stage.

I must give some individual props to Anne’s absolutely unhinged energy and the apparently accepted-among-pirates truth that she’s a total psycho while Mary has sort of descended into violent madness over the years. The face-stealing romantic yarn, lolol! I want Anne and Mary to come back at least once. I need them.

Stede absolutely sprinting back to the ship (or trying to) after his and Ed’s Very Casual conversation about Ed staying one more night, ahahaha. And the way Ed watched him go! His lil’ schmoopy face! Who knew a few mere years ago that Taika Waititi would be one of TV’s top contenders for incomparable heart eyes??? And then Buttons, there to make it weird yet also so wise and helpful! (I really hope Buttons isn’t a bird forevermore. I NEED HIM. First The Swede and now Buttons? My heart can’t take it! I know the only constant in life is change, and yet. No.)

Ed’s reunions with Mary and Anne both made me really happy. He needs HUGS!

Bunny. Or, I guess: wolfy. RIP. 😢 (Maybe another little life lesson/warning for Ed. If you stay in this deranged pirate mentality, you ARE going to have to keep eating your friends! Either metaphorically or literally!)

In other storyline news: I also loved everything about the crew’s adventure on the ship! The scene where they were all appraising each other on the deck trying to decide if things were going to escalate to violence was so heart-wrenching and so funny all at once. Ugh, poor traumatized bbs! And poor Izzy! And I love that what brought the crew back together again was a) caring about one of their own who’s having the worst and loneliest time of it (and that’s saying something!), and b) arts and crafts. Arts! And! Muthaflippin’ CRAFTS!

(I’m very sad that they couldn’t enjoy Roach’s cake. I hope that the cake trauma passes. That’s no way to live.)

Izzy allowing himself one small smile when he was alone staring forward at the sea was so much. 🥺

I also loved Wee John’s sweater and the fact that he was knitting the whole time. VIBES. 🧶

I’m so thrilled that Rachel House was here (PAULA HALL: CHILD WELFARE, CINEMA’S MOST MAGNIFICENT VILLAIN ALWAYS!!!!!) and that they ended this episode with the same song as Hunt for the Wilderpeople in what felt certainly like a deliberate homage! (Esp. with Ed and Stede walking off into the wilderness together while having a fun chat.) Hunt for the Wilderpeople ALWAYS. 💚💚💚💚💚 Weird Reverend/Psycho Sam ALWAYS.

#dollsome's deep thoughts #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd reaction post

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