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#oh god its 2 am on a schoolnight and im talking about howl
kohihari · 3 years
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howl’s moving castle is my favorite studio ghibli movie and the only solid reasoning i really have is because i am, a simp.
(im kidding its a beautiful movie)
and so today i will be rating this beautiful man, the blueprint for my longhaired guy with earrings type, on what i’d like to call:
。+゚.。+。。+゚.。+。howl’s (who’s) your favorite? 。+゚.。+。+゚.。+。。(´ω`*)
where i tell you my rankings of the different versions of howl, let’s start!
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#12 slimy howl
slimy howl is on the bottom of my list because LORD i cannot imagine touching him like that. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT?? if this is some sort of version of menstrual cramps to him i just don’t think i could wake up and say good morning sweetie just for him to wake me up with a slimy kiss. sorry.
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#11 monster howl
this is the least howl form of howl and i simply do not like it. it represents his humanity being stripped away and shows him as his worst form, the beast that he must turn to the greater his power becomes. he’s the least himself in this form and that’s not good >:( scary to look at but higher ranked than slimy howl because at least his feathers are soft
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#10 howl shoyo from haikyuu (omg hes #10 too i didnt even plan that)
karasuno’s best decoy’s entire appearance was only a big mental breakdown over his hair! he’s not ugly or anything but he’s very unhappy in this scene and i get it cuz one time i cut my bangs too short and looked like goshiki from haikyuu mixed with atsushi’s bangs but not cute and i started crying so i understand. unhappy howl is defo not my favorite howl (but he scores higher than slimy and monster because he is at least a human here)
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#9 bird centaur howl
THIS MAN LOOKS LIKE HE WAS WEARING A SKIN TIGHT BIRD MASCOT COSTUME AND TOOK OFF THE HEAD. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT. THE WORST POSSIBLE LOOK FOR ANY HALF HUMAN HALF ANIMAL CREATURE. ITS LIKE YOU SHUFFLED SOME KIND OF SUPERHERO GENERATOR AND GOT THE MOST UNNATURAL LOOKING ONE. HE LOOKS ANGRY. 
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#8 werebird howl
oh absolutely NOT. can you IMAGINE having to see the fucking feather things POP OUT OF HIS FACE????? oh good god help me. higher on the list because he looks kinda cool (maybe because it looks like facial hair?)
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#7 surprise its howl!
LOOK AT HIM IN HIS LITTLE HAT. he’s all “ayo i gotchu follow my ring its like a little gps oh dont worry about wifi i have data”. he looks like those little nutcracker toys. only complaints is that green is not his color and he looks like a figure of authority and i dont really like figures of authority. still looks really dorky and cute tho! <3
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#6 3/4 bird howl
i know what you may be thinking, “what the fuck.” and i understand. why is a bird howl so high on the list? but look at him! he’s not just a bird anymore. this is the thing that represent his loss of humanity, but now he uses that form to protect sophie, which is very empowering if you ask me! for someone who didn’t care about his heart he’s sure got a big one :> look at his little smile!
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#5 injured little birdie howl
i know i just talked about his humanity and shit but he. looks. so. sexy. here. i dont wanna fuck a bird, okay. maybe its the jawline. maybe its the way his guard is down. maybe its the vulnerability in his face. maybe i need a therapist. it’s like...”im fighting to be human! its just so difficult....pls take care of me..” i dont know. the earring ties it all together. like he’s injured. and he’s a bird. but like, classy.
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#4 haku from spirited away
DISCLAIMER: THIS LIST IS NOT THE ORDER OF ATTRACTIVENESS I FIND THE HOWLS. IT IS SIMPLY MY FAVORITE HOWLS IN ORDER, GENERALLY. I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK HOWL AS A CHILD. I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK A BIRD EITHER.
he’s so cute!!! he wanted to save a shooting star!!! he just didn’t know what would happen okay >:0 he is still so tiny and the little ribbon is so cute he looks like a little villager from animal crossing but guess what he’s actually a wizard! how cool is that!
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#3 idol howl
i say idol because howl kind of reminds me of a kpop idol here??? i think it’s cuz he looks very pretty. and maybe his blonde hair is like when kpop idols dye their hair different colors and youre like oh wow that looks nice??? :0 classic howl look, probably the first image people think of when remembering his face! great fashion sense, the shirt, the necklace, his little jacket, the EARRINGS! a very aesthetically pleasing howl. he wouldn’t just take you to a movie on your first date he’d bring you into one <3 the walking in the sky scene is a classic! its beautiful!!! slowdancing with this howl is the dream. (only at #3 because of personal preference, i dont usually simp for blonde characters for some reason) also his character development hasnt happened yet so he’s still pretty selfish (but he’s also still pretty pretty)
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#2 princess howl
LISTEN. THIS IS AFTER HIS LITTLE HAIR DYE MENTAL BREAKDOWN. BUT HE IS SO. PRETTY. i cannot EXPLAIN how pretty he is here. the length of his hair is so perfect. and it’s BLACK? oh god. this is such a close #2. he is so pretty. i actually think this look is his prettiest. im sorry i have no more funny commentary because hes actually so pretty. he’s #2 only because. he was acting so spoiled. I MEAN NOT REALLY. he’s just so dramatic but who could say no to THAT?? his earrings..his hair..his EYELASHES? no one looks this good lying down. let me spoil u my baby <333
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#1 husband howl!!!!!!!!!
this is a man in love. look at him smile. you could just fall for him on the spot. this man can cook! he is so excited to show u the house he made with his magic!! and he gets you your own FLOWER GARDEN????? did you know flowers have a language i bet all of them are like “eternal love” “endless happiness” or something- well no he’s a wizard i bet all the flowers smell like happiness and sunshine. his shirt tucked in? AWOOGA! god he looks so good in those pants. he is so romantic. he is so genuinely happy. and he doesn’t even realize he’s in love with you!! he just wants you to smile. all the other howls i’d go yes i’ll do the cooking yes i’ll do the cleaning but THIS HOWL? “oh sweetie youre not feeling well? let me cook something for you to heal up, no don’t move, stay right there and rest” this howl is so endlessly cute and perfect and romantic and happy. if there’s something to be learned is that u may be pretty u may be sexy but u look the best when ur happy. oh my god he looks like he smells good too.
and that’s all! i hope you enjoyed (or actually read) 
。+゚.。+。。+゚.。+。howl’s (who’s) your favorite? 。+゚.。+。+゚.。+。。(´ω`*)
i hope everyone is well and i hope u liked this little list! any comments or replies are very appreciated because i dont wanna look like a psychopath talking about howl LMAO
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