#ohhh wait I remembered! the last one was the ... eugh

[j-ellyfish]

Have you ever played pokemon Clover?

Yes I have, I never made it past the last rival battle in Victory Road, though.

A few Fakemon designs are genuinely nice (Ice Owl line is so cute I wish it was real, and the Psychic Elephant too), or harmlessly funny (Oreon, the chicken nugget bird), too bad they get lost in the ocean of awful and tasteless jokemons 💔

It is packed with politically incorrect jokes everywhere and it often goes too far, but I'd lie if I said I didn't actually find a few jokes and ideas that made me smile/laugh (Freddie Mercury's ghost as one of the Gym Leaders? It's such a nonsense idea that how can you not love it?; Brock living on a meteorite in outer space to reference the guy in his Gym who says he's "light-years ahead" is a clever joke; the whole thing about one of the Fakemon being inspired by the weird painting in RSE that is said to represent a Pokemon despite clearly not looking like any; the Spooky Scary Skeletons Tower requiring something other than boring battles to be cleared was refreshing).

It also has some good ideas in terms of mechanics (it has been years since I played it but I remember liking how they reworked the HM system and I wished GameFreak actually did that too; there's an NPC that, albeit for way too much money, lets you change the PokeBall you caught a Pokemon in which is something I can't believe the real games don't have yet).

However.

The jokes really, really get annoying, overdone and tasteless real fast. The whole J/ews and n*zis thing gets dragged way too much and there are way too many a/nti

semitic jokes that keep repeating themselves throughout the game. As well as the s*xual and huhh bodily fluids jokes. Ew. And the t/ransphobic jokes. And probably many other things my brain decided to forget.

The routes are often too long and only challenging because they're too long and filled with trainers and of course you'll reach the next Healing Spot crawling because it's impossible to avoid unless you're packed to the brim with Potions, Full Heals and PP Restores.

The AI of the trainers, especially Gym Leaders and other key characters, is very high, unrightfully so. I also got the impression more than once during important battles that the game could read my moves and counter all of my decisions even if it wasn't supposed to (for instance, you recall a Pokemon to send one who is another type, the enemy picks a move that is super effective against the Pokemon you've just sent, or enemy recalls their Mon too to still have an advantage). Some of them are blatant cheaters and very hard to counter and defeat because you as a player have the RNG almost always against you and you're constantly playing against mind readers, ig.

So, in short, if anyone is wondering:

It is not worth your time, especially as a casual player. If you want to test your somewhat competitive abilities as a Pokemon player and are ready to ignore the amount of awful jokes it is filled with, then go for it I guess, but there are other hack-roms or fangames that are geared at competitive players so unless you want to use weird Fakemons and learn how low the human mind can go, they're a better option lol

(Ngl tho, from a technical point it is very well made and I'd lie if I said that it didn't make me wish I was that good at coding and stuff to create my own game)

#ask #it has been so long I even forgot my team #I remember I tried to keep only mons that seemed to have dignity but besides the chicken nugget last evo and the ice owl I forgot what #I had lol #ohhh right I also had the dinosaur with a boxing glove on its tail the electric mosquito and the black cat with a scythe on its tail #forgot the 6th but it wasn't the starter I boxed the starter because I didn't want to evolve it its evos were too tasteless 💔 #I hate toilet humor ._. #ohhh wait I remembered! the last one was the ... eugh #the E/bola Fakemon - only exception to my 'let's only use tasteful mons - rule because it was very strong and also #kinda cute if I forgot it was based on a deathly virus-

[lighthausen]

It’s the final tma liveblog everyone… for mag200 last words… IT’S FINALLY HERE (and loaded lol. I’m really impressed they got their servers okay that quick!)… and 25 minutes… oh my god… how are they gonna do this

Let’s go. Below the cut.

Thank you Alex <3

Oh yay cast and crew!

I hope i enjoy it too

Love you

Oh intro song

Here we go here we go

How can they do this in 25 minutes???

Oh the way he says Last Words… hh

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

*tape recorder click*

Oh hey it’s jonah

OH 

CEASELESS WATCHER

Uhhh?

Release him!?

OHHH

OH??

Is he dead? 

WHAT

!

What’s going on?

It is over

Where is Martin?

Wh

WhEREs martin???

Not even fear…

But. where’s Martin??

Ohhhh his voice

Oh my god

Burn it out

Lifeless?!

Wait? whAT?

OHHH HE DERAILED THE PLAN

HE DERAILED THE PLAN

Not for much longer

Can they fear their own ends

Oh he’s trying

HYESL

KILL HIM

GET HIM

FOR SASHA FOR TIM FOR GERTRUDE

No one escapes the end!!!

Yeahh!

What’s he killing him with??

Eugh

??

Wha?

Who’s that?

What? W hat’s happening?????

OHHHH NO

OHHH HE’S BECOMING THE PUPIL

NOooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH GOD

NO!! NO NONO!!

Oh?

Is… he ok? 

Oh

“Thank you” aw

What’s…..

Once upon a time?

Oh!

Fear of the End!

Ooooo love the soundscaping!!!

Feel more?

Be more ooooh

Ah here comes the Dark!!!

The thing that was fear!

Inch by inch…

Ohh fun!

Love this origin story!

Fire!

And sky!

(Oh no what if Martin has to kill him now)

Oh communication

Crack??

Oh! Oh! It can’t see itself? Oh never whole

That’s… kinda sad????????????

New dreads

 corruption, buried, vast 

Yaaah

Oh the Web! 

Slaughter!!

More and more! 

Some didn’t recoil?

Oh. Court them…

Very fun!

Whispering… 

Smooth and shifting. Interesting

Oh! The veil between torn!!!!!

Oh so the fears exist but they’re not… there yet until now!

Watched and watched

Ohh

Greed. Oooh. 

Oh no! Not Capitalism!!

Til they were one or the same?? Hm..

They needed it…

Sing. Ooh. 

Oooh soundscaping so good

The spider!!!! :)

Threads! Webs! OOoh.. Nerves… give her a brain

Oh is that a spinning wheel? Fun!!

The web doesn’t like to explain. Interesting

Escape… escape into other realities itself

The Eye, the most unwise.. It doesn’t understand the knowledge

A grander web! Neat!

Find its escape?

Apotheosis??

Climax

*pause* i’m thinking about the whole trolley problem “Jon gets in the trolley and floors it” that’s still so funny. Love that. 

Hey while we’re here… like. What happened outside earth post apocalypse. If anyone was in space are they also sucked into the fearscape or?

Anyway it looks like he’s done with that statement. *unpause*

No it won’t?

It has only found its end

MARTIN

He’s already done it

What’s that

ELIAS

SFDKJLSDFKJDS

Ohhh nooooooooooo

Oh no..

Go tell the others

Oh no…

Oh no…

They’re down there

It’s still him..

It’s done.

Oh. But Martin can hurt him.

We can still be together…

Call off?

If they don’t?

What’s happening????

WH?

What’s happening????????

The pull??

What? What’s 

You can’t see that :(

Can’t protect him?

He’ll die??? 

What?

W??????????

What’s 

Oh god he’s crying

Where you go I go,

Oh no…

Oh god

What? 

Maybe everything works out??

Together…

Oh..

Oh no.

I LOVE YOU

OH god

KISS

NO

OH GOD

Oh shit

It’s done. 

Silent. 

W?

Glass?

Huh. 

Birds in the background

No bodies???

*looks out window*

Probably for the best

OH SIMON

OH my god!?

OH shit people remember!!! OH god people remember!

Did people suddenly die from what’s happening?

WHat happened to the world

Nightlights…

THE ADMIRAL

OH MY GOD THE ADMIRAL IS OK

Tinned tuna

So… the world just snapped back. But the things that happened.

Hey, Fakecrfan, like your fics! Nice job predicting

Turn it off :(

No… 

Don’t go

I’m listening!

Hi!

BYE!!

I’m sorry too

Thank you

Wait good luck.

Good luck about what????

The MAGNUS ARCHIVES WAS A PODCAST

*is.

Oh boy

H

Gotta say, I like the openness of the ending

Oh this is easy to write around

OH look Jon and Martin are in their own little world

Oh look Jon and Martin were found and they’re alive

Very cool. 

Well… That sure was fun!!

Good podcast! Good podcast! Satisfying ending! Loved how Jonah got fucking killed 

I hope the script says “brutal knife murder”

Ohhh the way he begged . how he tried to be all manipulative at first . good shit. 

And the Jon and Martin confrontation

How calm Jon sounded at points…

Wanna know what would happen in an au where he doesn’t tell the others to go.

Wow

Podcast.

Yeah. I can’t see any other way this could have ended. Not really. 

Soundscaping was great. Sounds like the fears… 

I guess I should stop.

I had fun guys. Love you <3

#tma spoilers #tma liveblog

[hgfstreamchats]

The Terror, episodes 4-6

SharpwingYesterday at 9:37 PM I may miss the first few minutes, I can't get my earbuds to pair to my computer >:/

highglossfinishYesterday at 9:37 PM Oh, we can wait for you, that's no trouble.

SharpwingYesterday at 9:39 PM tbh i'm not sure i'll be watching it much anyway, if The Bear Attack is indicative of many scenes to come, so... maybe don't wait?   I'm just happy to be here in the chat, and I'll figure out the earbuds eventually.

highglossfinishYesterday at 9:40 PM Oh yes, it gets anything but better going forward.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:40 PM got himself frozen in somewhere

SharpwingYesterday at 9:41 PM I ah. Might have read the Wikipedia page for The Terror. [9:41 PM] I will not be watching the later episodes, I can tell you [9:41 PM] But! Until then, the music is pretty and the set design is lovely(edited)

highglossfinishYesterday at 9:42 PM "Oh, the Friends That You'll Eat"

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:42 PM Uh oh.

SharpwingYesterday at 9:42 PM hhhhhhhh [9:43 PM] Ohh, I give. The mysteries of Bluetooth technology are too much for me [9:43 PM] I'll just watch without sound (thank you again for the subtitles) [9:47 PM] jdhfsjfgjf sure, just go to the bathroom while giving your report

highglossfinishYesterday at 9:49 PM This certainly is sensible.

SharpwingYesterday at 9:49 PM the bear.....is not acting.....like any bear ive ever seen [9:50 PM] is this a potential plot point, or writers who don't care if the bear acts oddly

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:50 PM isn't it, y'know, possessed by the old man they shot, or something?

TheAlienTazerYesterday at 9:50 PM Hope y'all have fun New meds are kicking my ass lmao

SharpwingYesterday at 9:50 PM well if it is ive missed that part [9:50 PM] that tracks tho, ngl

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:50 PM I MEAN it seemed implied

SharpwingYesterday at 9:50 PM Oh nooooo >_< i hope you feel better soon Tazer<3

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:51 PM ye, feel better [9:54 PM] f

SharpwingYesterday at 9:56 PM an brain

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:56 PM yikes [9:56 PM] yes, keep showing us it [9:58 PM] ...definitely a bear

highglossfinishYesterday at 9:59 PM A normal bear carrying out normal bear activities.(edited)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 9:59 PM What. [10:00 PM] A bear POSSESSED by a man??

SharpwingYesterday at 10:01 PM oh dear, i had to step away for a minute, what happened? [10:01 PM] something tipped them off to Not Normal Bear, what was it?

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:01 PM The injuries were apparently too deliberate to be a bear

SharpwingYesterday at 10:02 PM ah, okay

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:04 PM awkward [10:08 PM] that's a lot of detail to see from a distance, through the snow

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:09 PM "I'm going to say this all as smugly as possible, that will help my case."

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:09 PM right?

SharpwingYesterday at 10:11 PM My visuals are a second or two behind the audio, is that the same for you too?

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:11 PM nope, although it's a little jerky, on and off

SharpwingYesterday at 10:12 PM I think my wifi is being a little buggy again, nvm

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:13 PM Hold on, let me try and fix it.

SharpwingYesterday at 10:15 PM Seems to be normal for me now

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:17 PM Oh, for Pit's sake. [10:17 PM] Is it working?

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:18 PM Yes, I think so

SharpwingYesterday at 10:18 PM Yup!

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:18 PM Marvelous!

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:21 PM Eugh [10:22 PM] "Who is it?  Better not be an enormous bear'

SharpwingYesterday at 10:23 PM Whoops, I'll be back later!

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:23 PM "If there are any enormous bears out there...you just stop that."

SharpwingYesterday at 10:24 PM The Bear: "No." [10:24 PM] (ok ok im actually gone now, byeee)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:24 PM byyye

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:24 PM Goodbye! [10:25 PM] "It's full of lead."

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:25 PM f [10:26 PM] so are any of the ones who actually speak her language still alive, or...?

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:26 PM Crozier does.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:28 PM Side note, the volume is much better than usual!

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:30 PM Wonderful!

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:30 PM ohhhh dear

SharpwingYesterday at 10:32 PM I may not be back tonight after all, so let me just say thank you for having me here!

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:32 PM

Thanks for dropping in!

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:33 PM

Always a pleasure!

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:36 PM

the bear got him!

[

10:39 PM

]

( @Mimic you're not muted)

MimicYesterday at 10:41 PM

(I fixed it. somehow, I had to spend about twenty minutes fixing my internet which also involved me having to log back in to discord and resetting all my mute preferences???)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:42 PM

"or, you know, just drop dead for no apparent reason"

[

10:43 PM

]

oh, good, their water tanks are lead.

MimicYesterday at 10:44 PM

"Why are you not charmed by my egregious facial hair???"

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:45 PM

so, a dead man

MimicYesterday at 10:45 PM

absolutely

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:45 PM

"And the way I fouled your sheets?"

thenightetc2Yesterday at 10:47 PM

yikes

MimicYesterday at 10:48 PM

is this a murdercam

[

10:49 PM

]

"Oh, Corpsey, the times we had."(edited)

1

highglossfinishYesterday at 10:52 PM

"You don't care for lead tea?"

MimicYesterday at 10:56 PM

"Asshole, leave. it is that simple."

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:00 PM

good thing bears can't climb!

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:03 PM

Hooray, it caught fire! Their problems are surely solved forever!(edited)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:03 PM

Well, at least nothing could have survived that!

MimicYesterday at 11:03 PM

fire solves everything when your only shelter from the elements is highly flammable(edited)

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:04 PM

It's the kind of pluck and forward-thinking English problem solving that's served them so well thus far.

HopolitesYesterday at 11:05 PM

Oh boy! Medical stuff! Great time for me to grab food.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:07 PM

is this about the whisky

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:08 PM

"Men, it will fall upon you to change me."

[

11:08 PM

]

Don't save it for cleaning wounds or anything like that.(edited)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:09 PM

perish the thought

[

11:10 PM

]

Ugh, that does not look wholesome

HopolitesYesterday at 11:10 PM

Something horrible is going to happen to that little monkey.

MimicYesterday at 11:11 PM

yeah, seems on-brand for this show

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:12 PM

"well, if a bunch more die--"

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:13 PM

Eat the monkey.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:15 PM

yikes

MimicYesterday at 11:20 PM

you say such sweet things, Corpsey II(edited)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:22 PM

D:

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:24 PM

Touch.

HopolitesYesterday at 11:26 PM

Suddenly veeeery happy I'm eating pasta with white sauce.

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:31 PM

Funny how everything tastes better when it isn't full of...I was about to say lead, but that's less of a problem for me.

SharpwingYesterday at 11:31 PM

Realized I left my icon in the stream, my bad(edited)

[

11:32 PM

]

It seems to have automatically shut off/left anyway, but it sounds like I'm gonna wanna sit this one out anyway

whose guts were spilled

[

11:33 PM

]

Also, would you actually be okay with everything tasting like lead? Sounds like it'd get boring.

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:33 PM

True. And lead was never my favorite thing to begin with.(edited)

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:34 PM

ahhh, what'd I miss in the last ten minutes or so?

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:34 PM

It's not exactly singing with flavor.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:34 PM

had to go let the dog out

HopolitesYesterday at 11:34 PM

Gross things.

SharpwingYesterday at 11:34 PM

What's it taste like again? I remember I read what you said about it, but I've forgotten

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:34 PM

Oh, in that case maybe nevermind

SharpwingYesterday at 11:34 PM

And yes thenight, I think intestines were spilled.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:35 PM

Was it the bear again?

HopolitesYesterday at 11:35 PM

No, it was the inuit lady.

SharpwingYesterday at 11:35 PM

Idk, I've been gone for a long time and my Bad Things Happening tolerance is embarrassingly low, so I quit watching XD

[

11:35 PM

]

ooh

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:35 PM

ohhh

SharpwingYesterday at 11:35 PM

She finally got fed up with them huh

HopolitesYesterday at 11:36 PM

She's the only character I care for.

MimicYesterday at 11:37 PM

do not glorify how completely fucked y'all are

HopolitesYesterday at 11:37 PM

I think it's less glorification and more desperatee hoping.

MimicYesterday at 11:38 PM

I can't get over how much that thing looks like a Pennywise furry

HopolitesYesterday at 11:39 PM

Yeah that's lead poisoning.

SharpwingYesterday at 11:39 PM

W h a t

[

11:39 PM

]

The BEAR??

MimicYesterday at 11:40 PM

the face they slapped on that thing makes me think about Tim Curry's PEnnywise pretty hard

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:40 PM

ohhh god

SharpwingYesterday at 11:40 PM

Okay I gotta see that

HopolitesYesterday at 11:41 PM

I can't wait for the large number of secrets their keeping from their men to end in a mutiny.

SharpwingYesterday at 11:43 PM

Aaaand gotta go again

[

11:44 PM

]

Sorry, seeya!♡

MimicYesterday at 11:44 PM

seeya!

HopolitesYesterday at 11:44 PM

Why did they bring a gun.

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:45 PM

Ringing in spring with the most lead filled banquet these men have ever had.

HopolitesYesterday at 11:45 PM

Yeah. And a corpse in the corner to round things up!

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:46 PM

It's hardly a party without one!

HopolitesYesterday at 11:49 PM

I feel like things will get weirder.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:50 PM

ohhhh dear

HopolitesYesterday at 11:52 PM

I do love the music

[

11:54 PM

]

Ooooooh nooooo

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:54 PM

Well, he did say to stand back.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:54 PM

f

MimicYesterday at 11:55 PM

WHAT DID I SAY EARLIER? HIGHLY FLAMMABLE

HopolitesYesterday at 11:55 PM

This show is good at making things so gross

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:55 PM

Aww.

HopolitesYesterday at 11:58 PM

Hmm. The sun went down rather quick.

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:58 PM

Well, at least things can't get any worse from here on out, right!

highglossfinishYesterday at 11:59 PM

Of course!

thenightetc2Yesterday at 11:59 PM

Smooth sailing from now on!

HopolitesYesterday at 11:59 PM

Well

[

11:59 PM

]

More like walkingFebruary 19, 2021

HopolitesToday at 12:03 AM

Enough fish to kill your frame rate.

thenightetc2Today at 12:03 AM

ALMOST as if they're causing problems

HopolitesToday at 12:03 AM

Possibly.

[

12:03 AM

]

Theoretically.

[

12:06 AM

]

Why is he not just...selling the fish?

thenightetc2Today at 12:06 AM

A commitment to doing things in the most deranged way possible

[

12:08 AM

]

Honestly it's probably a good thing those fish are only about twenty polys each

[

12:09 AM

]

Hahaha what

[

12:10 AM

]

Somebody's going to rig that up to run Doom

HopolitesToday at 12:10 AM

Yes.

MimicToday at 12:10 AM

it's inevitable really

HopolitesToday at 12:11 AM

Now Im curious if someone's done that for Minecraft?

[

12:12 AM

]

Oh no.

thenightetc2Today at 12:12 AM

"wait, can I sell it again"

[

12:12 AM

]

wheezes

HopolitesToday at 12:12 AM

He's just going to mash the button.

[

12:12 AM

]

Forever.

thenightetc2Today at 12:12 AM

enter the autoclicker

HopolitesToday at 12:12 AM

Yes.

[

12:13 AM

]

Whoops.

thenightetc2Today at 12:14 AM

Oh my god

HopolitesToday at 12:14 AM

Reality has broken.

[

12:14 AM

]

MORE EXPLOSIVES

thenightetc2Today at 12:15 AM

Fish lattice

HopolitesToday at 12:15 AM

Oh boooooy!

[

12:16 AM

]

This is fantastic, actually.

[

12:17 AM

]

This man's fingers.

thenightetc2Today at 12:18 AM

Well then!

HopolitesToday at 12:18 AM

Beutiful pile of insanity.

thenightetc2Today at 12:19 AM

Amazong.

MimicToday at 12:20 AM

every time someone reshapes the landscape, a dynamite pile gets its wings

highglossfinishToday at 12:22 AM

Seems like an uplifting note to end on.

thenightetc2Today at 12:22 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6nczQNvw5E

?

YouTube

Saturday Night Live

Dream Home Extreme Isn't Exciting - SNL

[

12:24 AM

]

Coming live.

HopolitesToday at 12:25 AM

Is the announcer lady okay?

MimicToday at 12:26 AM

her job depends on selling this to viewers

HopolitesToday at 12:26 AM

She's going to ascend to the sky.

[

12:26 AM

]

She tried to put the tooter thing in the other lady's mouth.

thenightetc2Today at 12:29 AM

her FACE

[

12:31 AM

]

Oh wow

HopolitesToday at 12:31 AM

amazing

[

12:32 AM

]

make things so awkward the customer runs away.

MimicToday at 12:34 AM

oh, what about forgotten tv gems

highglossfinishToday at 12:34 AM

We can pencil it in for next time.

MimicToday at 12:35 AM

alright

highglossfinishToday at 12:35 AM

Do you have a link?

MimicToday at 12:35 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgYOkcA3wtY

YouTube

Saturday Night Live

Forgotten Television Gems - SNL

[

12:35 AM

]

and

[

12:35 AM

]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AswY1cRDIgo

YouTube

Saturday Night Live

Forgotten TV Gems: Whoops! I Married a Lesbian - SNL

highglossfinishToday at 12:36 AM

Oh, it's an actual video! I thought you just meant in general. Yes, we can watch it now then.

MimicToday at 12:36 AM

oh, yes! sorry, meant to specify, definitely an SNL skit

HopolitesToday at 12:38 AM

I love the wildly out of place music.

MimicToday at 12:38 AM

apparently this is a direct parody of an actual soap opera called Dynasty

thenightetc2Today at 12:39 AM

wow!

HopolitesToday at 12:40 AM

Pleeeeeease remove your finger from the trigger-ok.

[

12:40 AM

]

Whelp.

[

12:40 AM

]

That was a weird face they zoomed on.

MimicToday at 12:40 AM

ikr

HopolitesToday at 12:41 AM

Oh boy.

thenightetc2Today at 12:43 AM

Noooo, really?

[

12:44 AM

]

Spicy!

highglossfinishToday at 12:45 AM

Glorious.

[

12:46 AM

]

And with that, I think we're in a good place to pack it in.

thenightetc2Today at 12:46 AM

And what a that it was!

[

12:46 AM

]

Once again, thank you for hosting.

highglossfinishToday at 12:46 AM

Such a that!

[

12:46 AM

]

And thank you for coming!

HopolitesToday at 12:46 AM

was fun!

MimicToday at 12:46 AM

it was great! thank you for hosting!

HopolitesToday at 12:46 AM

Even if I have no idea what's happening on The Terror.

thenightetc2Today at 12:46 AM

Goodnight!

MimicToday at 12:47 AM

good night!

highglossfinishToday at 12:47 AM

Good night!

[667-darkavenue]

cake by the ocean - ficlet

Fandom: The Adventure Zone

Pairing: Lup/Lucretia

Summary: Pirate AU. Takes place during The Stolen Century. The Starblaster crashes into the sea and gets taken hostage by mermaids. To meet their demands and get the spaceship back from the depths of the ocean, the gang have to take down the mermaids’ enemies above the water. Lup decides some changes are in order.

Co-written with @moonlit-trash | on ao3.

Taako wakes up with his face in the beach. Sand flutters away from his mouth as he groans into it. “Ugh… Lup?”

She’s shaking sand out of her hair as she watches him sit up.

“Taako…” His twin reaches down to peel a piece of seaweed off her brother’s chest. “What the fuck?”

The last thing she remembers is the Starblaster crashing real bad, the ship flooding—At least they cast breathing spells on everyone in time. Taako’s looking around the long stretch of beach they washed up in, not another person in sight.

“Guess we got separated in the water,” he mumbles to himself.

He blinks up at Lup, pale white sand still clinging to the half of of his face that was crushed into the shore. She tells him, “You look like a half-moon cookie.”

The corner of his lip twitches upward. “Mm. At least that.”

He holds both hands up, wiggling his fingers in the air, and she catches them.

“Well, we gotta find ‘em. Even with water breathing, I don’t trust that half of them will make it,” she says as she tugs him up, their feet splashing the water where it spreads across the sand each time a wave sweeps ashore. “I mean, c’mon. You’ve seen Merle.”

“They’re hella drowned if they didn’t wash up somewhere around here.”

Lup gave him a Look™. “Nah. We're the ones who casted shit on them to make sure they hella wouldn't drown. And we're… us. No way they fucked up that badly. The Starblaster's probably Starbusted, though.” She kicks some sand into the ocean, sadly. “Pour one out for our pimp ass spaceship.”

“Moment of silence.” Taako plucks a brown string of kelp out of his hair and plops it into the water. After a pause, he adds, “But we should go find it anyway. Fixing it's the only way to get out of here, and—more importantly—all my clothes are on it.”

“You're right. How am I supposed to borrow them if they're at the bottom of the ocean?” She smiles at him, before getting real. “Okay, yeah, but I am super not into the idea of going back into the water after it almost goddamn drowned us. Do you remember that scroll we saw—Jaws, Taako?”

He’s already talking over her—“Because it wants to keep my closet, shit, I'd kill for it too.”

“All right. I'll let you do the honors, since your bag is transmutation.” She stares down into the water, waiting for Taako to cast the spell. The water is clear enough that she can see their reflections. “Can I just say that we are definitely pulling off this beached look?”

“Fucking nailing it. All this sand on my face? Exfoliating the hell out of it.”

Finding the Starblaster was…

Well, they found it.

They also found that there’s mermaids in this world. And they talk. And they’re kind of mean.

“I want to go on record now—Where's Lucretia when you need her? I want this written down in both her journals,” Lup ranted. “Swimming fucking sucks. I move to demote Cap'nport for crashing our ship and almost killing us all permanently.”

Weighed down by soaked clothes, they trudged back out to the same beach they started on.

“Yeah, I can't believe they wouldn't let you at least take the clothes out of the ship.”

She gave him a Look™ again. “I sort of meant the destroying ten ships to get our ship back deal.”

“Ohhh. Yeah. Unfortunate,” he said, very unconvincingly. “But they're the bad guys harpooning cute whales, so who cares, right?”

That was the deal they had to strike with the mermaids, who wouldn’t let them go near the Starblaster.

“Yeah, you're right.”

Then she’s quiet for a bit. After walking long enough down the uneven shoreline, a town and some docks starts coming into sight.

“You think the others will be cool with it?” Lup asks. “If we find them?”

Taako laughs to himself. “Considering most of them were down to end a civilization before you slapped us with that wisdom... I don't think it's gonna be a big deal. Not if you’re in.”

“Yeah, remind me never to let you guys do missions on your own, all right?”

“Lup!”

Lup’s head jerks up at the sound of her name, coming from somewhere within the bustle of the town market they stumbled across.

“Taako!” the same voice shouts.

And they see a familiar face bobbing through the crowd, rushing toward them.

“You’re alright!” Lucretia says. Then her brows knit together when she gets a good look at them. “And... you're... still wet?”

It had been an entire day since the crash. Lucretia looked cleaned up, prim and proper as always. As if she found this town and got situated right away. That’s probably what the rest of the crew were up to while Lup and Taako’s first move was diving right back into the ocean that spat them out.

“Yeah,” Lup answers flatly. “We found the ship.”

“Oh.” Lucretia’s eyes pop open and her mouth forms a perfect tiny ‘o’ the way it always does when she says Oh. “That, that's great. We've been negotiating getting a different ship here, to use it to, to dig the Starblaster out.”

Lup elbows her gently and smiles. “I'm glad you're okay, too, you know.”

“I am! I am glad. I was looking for you before I found this place.”

“Mhm. Did you manage to salvage your journals? I need you to write something down for me…”

Lucretia visibly deflates at the question. Lup is taken aback, as that is the complete opposite reaction she normally had to being asked to jot something down.

“No, I couldn't bring my journals with me,” Lucretia says, “The ocean would destroy them so I, just, thought it safer to leave them. It sucked.”

“Oh, dear,” Taako chimed in. “Do you need a hug? Hug her, Lup.”

He wasn’t a hugger.

She wonders if Lucretia is a hugger.

“Well, I wanted to look for you guys, too,” Lup says, opting to test the waters by placing a consoling hand on Lucretia’s shoulder, “But Taako wanted to find the ship. Which... We did. But some mermaids are holding it hostage until we kill some whalers. It's a long story.”

Lucretia’s eyes dart up to meet hers, startlingly intent. “Did you say mermaids?”

“Yeeeeeeah,” Lup’s face scrunches into a grimace at the thought of them. She hears Taako make a little “eugh” sound over her shoulder and assumes he’s making a similar face. “They were pretty though,” Lup adds.

“Wow.” Lucretia sighs the word more than she says it.

Then she’s reaching into her satchel and whipping out a new journal and quill that she has already bought somehow. She’s an expert at writing while standing with a book in the crook of her elbow. Lup cranes over the page to see what she’s scrawling: Mermaids are real and they are pretty.

“Oh—This is important,” Lup tells her. “Probably deserves its own page.”

Lucretia actually instantly flips to a new page and holds her quill over it excitedly.

Lup smiles. “Swimming fucking sucks.”

The quill doesn’t touch the page. Lucretia looks up and meets her eyes. “Pardon?”

Once more, with conviction, Lup says, “Swimming. Fucking. Sucks.”

She doesn’t break eye contact. Lucretia blinks at her.

“You know how hard it was to find our ship in the entirety of the bullshit ocean? Swimming sucks. Jot that the fuck down.” Lup’s fingertip creeps over the top of Lucretia’s journal to tap the blank page. “Also,” she adds, quickly and as if it's not important, “They said there's some asshole whaling ships killing their friends and we can have the Starblaster back if we take ten of them out.”

“Oh, wow. I. Okay.” Lucretia’s eyes dart down and she writes ‘swimming sucks’ in tiny letters on its own page, then flips back to write the other stuff. “We can't actually do that, though. That would get us in, uh, deep trouble. With the human people here.” (By the way, Lucretia is talking at the same time that she’s writing down what Lup just told her, and it is mindblowing. Lup can’t even prepare spells and listen to music with lyrics at the same time. Lucretia keeps talking without looking up, unaware of how gone with the wind Lup’s dome is right now.) “We would basically be... I think we'd be pirates.”

Taako leans in and whispers, "That's so fucking sexy."

Yep.

“It's either that or murder a bunch of mermaids who just wanna protect their friends,” Lup says. “Which isn't something I'm willing to do.”

Lucretia is quiet for a minute, reading over what she wrote, thinking it over. Eventually, she concedes, “Yeah, that's worse.” She tucks her fresh journal under her arm and asks, “Do you... You wanna see the new ship?”

“Hell yeah, I wanna see the ship,” Taako says. “What'd you cook up for us, Lucretia?”

With a jerk of her head in the direction of the docks, she spins around and starts leading them to it. Along the way she explains how they got it. “Well, we found an ad for someone who wanted to commission a crew, and I... kind of told him the opening act of Treasure Island. He bought it and gave us a ship in return for following a treasure map I drew twenty minutes beforehand, and supposedly bringing back the treasure.”

Lup high fives her first, because that’s definitely worthy of it, then shoots a look at Taako and mouths, Did you read Treasure Island?

No!, he mouths back, looking incredulous that she even asked.

She turns back to Lucretia. “Nice job. Were you able to find the others?”

“Uh, most of them. I washed up with Merle, we found Magnus and Davenport nearby. Still no Barry. Merle and Magnus are combing the beaches for him.”

“Fuck. I knew he couldn't swim,” Lup mutters darkly.

She doesn’t have much time to linger on that worry, since they approach a super badass-looking pirate ship that Taako flips over.

“Is that our ride? Is that it? Hell yes, fuckin dope.” He rushes up the gangway and poses on the ship. From up there, he calls out, “Tell me how cool I look!”

“You look like a nerd!” Lup shouts back while flashing him a grin and two enthusiastic thumbs up. She turns to Lucretia to ask, “What’s her name?”

“Who?”

“The ship. Obviously. It needs a name.”

“Oh,” her eyes and mouth do that little perfect round ‘o’ thing again, “Right. Hm. What's a good ship name?”

“LUPCRETIA,” Taako shouts from the deck.

Lup waves her hand and the letters Lupcretia appear on the side of the ship. On her face right now would be the world’s largest shit-eating grin. The current world record holder for most shits eaten in a minute. Lucretia is gaping, either horrified or delighted.

“You like it? I think you ought to Captain the fuck outta this thing.”

Lup thinks she sees a blush creeping over Lucretia’s face before she covers her face with her book. “Ohh my god, no.”

“Why not?” Lup prods, eyes glittering with mischief. “You're smart and good with both your hands, Captain.”

“I—Thank—?” Lucretia stammers, words muffled by the book over her face.

Lup is persistent. “Besides, there's no way the rest of us wouldn't steer this shit directly into an iceberg or something, like in that scroll, Titanic.”

Lucretia’s book comes down, and her face looks surprisingly composed. “No, I'm pretty sure Captain Davenport should handle it. We’re in the tropics, anyway.”

“Come on, he literally just crashed our other ship. You're gonna trust him with another one?” Lup’s eyes veer skyward in exasperation.

“You—You can't just make me captain, the spot's been taken.”

“MUTINY,” Taako yells down at them, leaning over the ship’s railing.

“Yeah, Taako and I already decided, and you think anyone's gonna argue with us? We're pretty insufferable as a team.”

As if on cue, Lup hears two familiar voices shout her name simultaneously behind her back. Her friends came back at just the right time.

“Merle! Magnus!” She greets them with relieved high fives. “We're going to be pirates now and Lucretia's gonna captain our ship, you down with that?”

“Hell yeah,” Merle says, without taking any time to think about it.

“Super down,” Magnus agrees before bounding up the gangway to reunite with Taako.

Lucretia’s careful composure melts into an expression of utter disbelief.

Lup slides a smug look over to her. “You've been overruled. We need to get you a cool hat. Merle, let her borrow your eye patch, she's gotta get the look right.”

Merle doesn’t hesitate to pull it off his head.

“No! Put, Put that back on, I don't want it. That's gross.” Lucretia scrambles to swat away his offering.

“God, fine,” he scoffs, deeply offended, before storming off into the ship.

Lucretia’s eyes flit from the ship, to Lup, to her own feet. After a moment of consideration, her good old composure comes back.

She gives in. “I'll take a cool hat.”

Lup’s grin is nothing short of beaming as she conjures the single dopest captain’s hat of all time. She hears Taako make an inarticulate noise of intense jealousy in the distance.

“I want to do the honors,” Lup insists.

Like a real chill coronation, she lifts the hat over Lucretia and places it on her head. She spends a few seconds carefully shifting the hat to the coolest possible position. Lucretia is looking at her the entire time, only giving a hesitant smile. Lup conjures up an eyepatch too, just for shits and gigs. She dangles it in front of Lucretia.

“Look, this patch is, it's cool, but, I kind of need both eyes. I use them a lot.”

Lup sighs theatrically. But she’s not actually all that disappointed. This is still a win. “As long as you recognize that it is, indeed, cool as hell—” She slips the patch over her own eye for aesthetic.

Lucretia’s eyes widen and her lips part in the shape of a neat little circle, but she doesn’t say anything. Lup is 100% sure that she is very visibly thinking Oh shit, that’s so hot. Lup is definitely like, I know, and tries to wink, but her winking eye is covered behind the eyepatch. It still kinda works out though. She’s pretty sure she’s just that fuckin’ cute.

Lucretia doesn't know how to handle this. She just sort of walks away, quietly screaming with her mouth closed. Lup follows behind her new captain, smiling to herself.

#the adventure zone #taz #lupcretia #lup #lucretia #taako #cake by the ocean