#omg zach does say some crazy shit when he is with certain people

[goldenpinof]

Troye Sivan | Rush, Something To Give Each Other, One Of Your Girls

#the gasps when he said he wouldn't perform youth again rhfbdsee #omg zach does say some crazy shit when he is with certain people #i love how well-spoken troye is. i miss his videos so much #so genuine and real #so surreal to see him grown up and successful #also. 2009 interview. they don't know but it's the simpliest math for me and zach can't do math at all. like true gay he is #troye sivan #zach sang show #Youtube

[urcadelimabean]

Witcher thoughts:

- legit did NOT like how Renfri's arc ended. she was such an interesting character and it doesn't sit right with me to have a survivor of abuse go crazy and have to be killed. she would have made a fantastic anti hero. Bring her back! the moral questions in that episode were really interesting! - also the Renfri/Geralt duel was really well choreographed, almost made the rest of the sword fighting in the show look worse in comparison. - Ciri! small! must adopt - although Dara 100% did himself a service by ditching her. I ALSO ADOPT. - all these small children wandering about almost dying makes me stressed. people dying left and right? monsters eating everyone? not a nice place to live man - even though I don't like Calanthe I appreciate that there are powerful morally grey women in this show with interesting and complex motivations - could have done without seeing Yennefer tied to a chair NAKED while a man she has no reason to trust performs a medical procedure on her. yes the scene was supposed to be traumatic and literally painful in many ways but adding nudity there was necessary. if they have to explore the trauma of being sterilized, fine. but.....there are so man buts about this. - WHY is everyone just like painting Yennefer and Tissaia's relationship in an over simplified and positive light? Tissaia abused her, demeaned her, treated her and literally called her an animal, and turned her friends into eels, showing that she could and would turn Yennifer into an eel if she wanted to and if Yennefer wasn't "good enough".....like I'm not denying that Yennefer looked up to her and even wanted her respect and love, in the way that an abused child will want love even from an abusive parental figure, but..... - When Yennefer harnessed all of that pain in the last episode, some of that pain was CAUSED by Tissaia - that's my point. Tissaia, I think, got a new perspective on how much pain Yennefer was carrying around - and probably knows a good portion of it was caused by her. She knows her legacy rests on inflicting pain onto the very people who are her only hope. There can very much be a sort of strange mutual respect, shared understanding, but there's also this history of Yennefer being brought into this organization that Tissaia cares so much about and it robbing her of her will to live. - Geralt gives off SO much bottom energy no I will not take questions - seeing a character who is a hunchback get their deformity "fixed" just reminds me HOW MUCH I WANT TO SEE THE VORKOSIGAN SAGA ADAPTED LIKE HOLY SHIT. but Netflix and Hollywood and Disney and all these fucks frankly aren't interested in showing a disabled protagonist become a hero and stay disabled and deformed, especially a man who is 4'9" like Miles Vorkosigan. - sigh. this is still very off topic but.....Miles Vorkosigan...my love. I can only dream that one day I will see him on screen. but then again I preemptively already hate how fandom would treat him - some of the acting in this show has been good, other parts........not so much. - same with the costumes. the fact that one of the elves’ shirts just had holes cut out of it....come on man! - (black sails would never do that, watch black sails) - the quality of the dialogue varies a lot. some of it - really good. - some of the dialogue just needed a proofreader. like when Calanthe says "check to see if we have enough supplies" and it's like......you're a queen, and you haven't already got supplies ready for a seige??? BRUH. stuff like that could be fixed so easily. (the line should have been something like, the supplies will have to last us, or just cute that line entirely) - the idea of having these warriors who are shunned and viewed as part monster but simultaneously needed to keep everyone safe just makes me even more annoyed that The Broken Earth trilogy has no fandom on this hellsite. N. K. Jemisin does so much more with this theme - of monsters and societal control and oppression. And also emotions like pain and rage and how important and powerful they are. Cycles of abuse, etc. - the guy being a dragon could have been fleshed out more............................... - I liked that Geralt saved the striga - like he obviously doesn't want to kill monsters if he doesn't have to because often they are also victims - so this was better than how the show dealt with Renfri - maybe Geralt and Yennefer could get over their disagreements if she pegged him, and then he would calm down. JUST a thought. hmmm. moving on - Jaskier is so fucking funny omg - I actually sort of liked the nonlinear storytelling, but probably because someone had warned me going in - Mousesack was a good dude and I'm sad he's dead - so many unanswered questions about why these bad guys have some weird ass religion with the White Flame....like wtf is that?? explain yourselves! - Anna-Louise Plowman!!!! I was so excited to recognize her! - speaking of Black Sails cast members, I still think they should have cast Zach McGowan as Geralt but at least Henry Cavill did his squats. no amount of ass can fix Cavill's unsavory personality but I will STILL look - no but seriously, some people just *look* better than others wielding swords - take some of the old movies with Basil Rathbone or Errol Flynn for example - and given this I think it was a mistake to kill RENFRI, like that duel between her and Geralt was goooood (a few of her strange sword positions aside) and it should have ended differently so she could come back at a later time, like why waste that screen presence - because killing monsters will at a certain point get old and the conflict between humans who are at odds and can duel with swords feels much more compelling and emotionally satisfying - also again this is why Zach McGowan would have been great in the role, Cavill can wield a sword well but Zach seems to be a natural with all sorts of stunts, he's on another level, and it does show when you have an actor who can wield a sword versus an actor who can REALLY wield a sword - aahhhhh no but Yennefer unleashing hell was so satisfying. :)))) I hope we see even more of that. BURN IT ALL DOWN - speaking of Yennefer I did like moments between her and Tissaia in the last episode where Tissaia realizes that Yennefer doesnt want to live and encourages her to keep living, but I almost sort of hoped Yennefer would reappear and kill her in that final moment. In this moment of newfound power mixed with some sort of respect and almost mercy for this woman who for so long made her life hell, and who she still looks up to. and maybe you could even have had Tissaia admitting that she can see why Yennefer is so conflicted - they're fighting for all of this, their "way of life," but to Yennefer it's all so empty still....the lesser of two evils, because their "way of life" hasn't been good to Yennefer. Her killing Tissaia in a strange mixture of revenge and mercy and rebirth could have been very interesting. - speaking of the lesser or two evils - see? we should have had Yennefer and Renfri interact.

#the witcher #the witcher spoilers

[obliviatemick]

Ben Hardy Fanfiction | When I Kissed You p. 7.

CHAPTER SEVEN: HELLO, STRANGER.

PLAYLIST: blazed - Ariana Grande.

WORD COUNT: 1761.

BARBARA'S POV.

"I can't believe it!", it was around 2 pm in Amsterdam and I was talking on the phone with Cole. "It was like reliving that night in New York. EVERY.LITTLE.DETAIL"

The dream/déjà vu about Ben had made of me a nervous mess. Of course, I had thought that night with Ben (several times, in fact), but none of my memories were that... vivid. In my dream I'd felt him once more: his skin, his lips, everything. For some reason, my dumb brain took this as a warning, a sign that something big was about to happen. The question was: what?

"It's normal!", his voice blasted through the speaker, there was a buzz of people speaking in the background, probably photographers and models. He spoke as if he found the whole situation very amusing. "Having those dreams is a pretty common thing in women like you and 12 year olds. It's biology, Barbara."

"Women like me? What does that mean?"

"Unsatisfied", he stated, a smile on his voice.

"Wha- the fact that he's the first guy I've slept with in months has absolutely nothing to do with me having those dreams and also-", in the line, he was laughing his ass off at my expense. "Cole, listen!!"

"Look, I'm just saying that you had a good time with an attractive guy whose greek profile and sculpted body were saved by your subconscious just to give him to you when you need a certain... stimulation." He made a pause, I heard him blowing his cigarette. "Your dream means absolutely nothing. "

I bit my lip, unsure of what to believe. On one side, I had my bff giving me unsolicited biology facts and on the other side I had sweaty hands, an upset tummy and not to mention the need of looking over my shoulder every two damn seconds. I was going crazy. Whatever it was, I decided to give Cole the benefit of the doubt. "I guess you're right..."

"The hell I am, now-", he made a pause to take another drag of his cigarette. "Could you stop whining about wet dreams and enjoy your moment of glory?", in the background, the clamour of conversation stopped swiftly. "Oh", I shut my eyes, embarrassed.

"Did you... have to say that out loud?"

⭐

My agent was already waiting for me in arrivals, even though we were supposed to meet thirty minutes later. The blonde, round woman was stomping her way to me, her cheeks looked rosy pink and tiny beads of sweat were glued to her forehead. She pulled me by the arm as soon as she laid hands on me.

She explained that the producers had changed the schedule and that instead of having a private table read with the cast, we would be doing a press conference with lots of media to report on it. Which meant I had to answer a lot of questions about my character in front of the whole country!

"Countries, darling", she corrected me. "This is a Netflix series; the whole world will be watching you"

I felt sick.

We hopped in a car I assumed was hers (if not: what a nonchalant way of stealing a car, Amber. Damn!) and drove 10 kilometres to the speed of an overstressed Amber to the building where the production team and the rest of the cast were already waiting for us.

When we arrived, I looked around and saw that everyone else was dressed in far better, not as casual outfits. I cocked my head to give Amber an alarmed look, but she was already directing orders to a pair of stylists that came to my rescue. One of them worked my hair while the other did my make-up and I wondered how the hell could they put up with so much pressure! They put me in a black dress that had see-through sleeves and a puffy skirt and matched it with white stilettos. In a normal situation, that would have felt like too much, but considering I would be in front of cameras from hundreds of countries... it felt just right.

My hands started sweating as I stood near the entrance of the stage, my stomach churned with both my nervousness and the odd feeling from before. It was getting worse with every minute that passed. I peeked to the room where the conference would be held and OMG, without counting cameramen, at least two hundred people were sitting there in front of the stage! I started worrying about puking in front of all those cameras and news reporters.

A raven-haired girl appeared from the side and patted me on the shoulder, she was wearing a gorgeous red dress with matching lipstick and white pumps.

"Is this your first time doing press?", she spoke with a feminine, kind of high-pitched voice.

I sighed and nodded. She smiled warmly and wrapped an arm around my shoulders

"It'll be okay, we've all been there", she chirped. "And to be honest, these things are very short! There's nothing to worry about, you'll see", she winked at me before stepping away.

Seconds after, the whole producing crew entered the stage through a door located just in front of ours. I breathed deeply and tried to mentally prepare for what was about to come. After presenting himself and the crew, Zach, the casting director, invited us to stage, a man in his forties with greying hair, beard and hard blue eyes winked at me as the whole cast walked to get our seats at the pannel.

A roar of clapping and cheering flooded the room as soon as we put a foot on the stage and GOD walking that stage felt like ages! I waved to the public and tried to give them my best imnotnervous smile before finally sitting at the table with my colleagues. To my right sat the black haired girl and then to her right was the rest of the cast. The only empty seat was on my left, I figured it would be for the actor who'd play Rowan.

"You look very concentrated today, Barbara", one of the writers said on the mic. "Are you preparing yourself for the shooting tomorrow on set?"

"Actually I was just trying not to fall on these damn heels!", I declared and then quickly shut my mouth. I couldn't believe I'd just said that in front of cameras. To my surprise, everyone in the room laughed, my co-stars, the writers, even some cameramen. Wtf?!

"Just be sure not to sprain an ankle, Barbara!" he pointed a finger at me but he smiled. "We'll need you in one piece for the next three months..."

"Roger that!"

The writer then gave the floor to Zach, the casting director who started giving some background for our characters and asking questions about how we felt related to them. During this time, I got to know my cast mates a bit more, they were friendly and WAAAY fun! Their jokes and great attitude helped me feel better and confident up on stage, I was sure we would be a great team. But... where was the other guy?

"Now, I believe this is the moment everyone has been waiting for", Zach started and everyone cheered. It was time. "My team and I have postponed this announcement for months, but there is a reason to it", he made a pause to approach our table. "As you can see, we did our best to collect the best of the best. Only the best candidates for the roles were the chosen ones for the titanic effort that bringing Fiber to life means! Like we did with Farren's role (little Barbara here), we thoroughly analysed every candidate for Rowan's role until we found the perfect match, both physically and mentally..."

I could feel the expectation growing in the room, all eyes were locked on Zach's face, following his every movement. I sat up straight and whispered to the black-haired girl, whose name I'd learned was Emeraude.

"Do you know who got that role?"

"Are you joking? I was about to ask the same thing!"

Marcus, the blue-eyed man joined in, speaking through his teeth, "It's top secret, rumour has it only Zach and the book's author know who he is..."

"I just hope he's handsome", Emeraude purred grinning and raising her eyebrows in a seductive manner. Marcus and I snorted.

"... through all the possibilities, we came to the conclusion that the one person who could bring Rowan to life is him. From X-Men: Apocalypse and Bohemian Rhapsody, please welcome the talented Ben Hardy!"

In a milisecond, the crowd around me went bananas and my soul left my body. People were cheering and whistling while for me the room spun at wild angles, they clapped and stomped their feet and I supressed a scream. Please, be other Ben Hardy, please be other Ben Hardy!

But there he was, walking straight to the empty seat next to me, looking like a model taken out of a magazine cover, that damned blond, green-eyed bastard! Because fuck me right?! After all I'd been through to avoid him... He glanced at me and instantly looked away, as if he hadn't even noticed my presence.  I took a gulp from my water bottle, trying to hide my discomfort.

"Finally!", Zach was beaming, a few more cheers erupted from the crowd. "Ben, what does it feel like to be the chosen one for the job?"

"Oh, it's an honour!", he stated with that deep voice of his. "It's just crazy, knowing that I was the chosen one when you had other thousand actors, good actors, willing to take on this role. It blows my mind!"

"Yeah, and then there's the fact that you didn't have to lie to get this role", both Ben and the crowd laughed at this comment, even some of my cast mates did. I didn't get it.

After a few more interchanges between them, Zach gave the floor to the reporters who'd been patiently waiting for Ben to appear.

"A question for Mr. Hardy, yes!", a reporter with glasses stood up. "What are your expectations of working with Miss Benavides as her character's love interest?"

Shit.

"Uhh, well..."

"Did you two know each other before today? Have you talked about..." (hey, only one question! Someone reprimanded the reporter)

"No!", we answered in unison. Our eyes met for a split second before Ben returned his attention to the reporter. "This is the first time we meet."

TAGLIST: @rrrogahtaylahhhh @valeriecarolinaw

Thank y’all for reading!

Let me know if you’d like me to put you on the taglist!

#benhardy #ben hardy #benhardyfanfiction #fanfic #romance #bohrap #bohemian rhapsody #eastenders #maiamitchell

[survivorbahamas]

EPISODE SIX: "I'LL SEND HIM IF IT ALLOWS ME TO GET ONE STEP CLOSER TO TAKING THE CROWN." - ZACH

So if you haven't heard it from me enough yet, THAT 📣 TWIST 📣 IS 📣 BULLSHIT! With that being said, I may as well continue. DANA 📣 DOES NOT 📣 DESERVE 📣 TO COME BACK. Not enough yet? DON'T 📣 TALK 📣 SHIT 📣 ABOUT 📣 JULIA RAE. Anyways! I'm still here. Still got no votes cast against me. The best I can do at this point is pull a Sugar and make it to the end with no votes, then receive none in the final. Fine. I'll do it. But first, let's fuck up everyone else's game in the process. I'm going to come back and pretend like I'm this poor, shit-for-brains Jaiden. Maybe that is who I am, but I'm still going to make sure there is no blood left unspilled. I don't care how it happens, but I'm out for revenge. Even if I go home next, I'm going to try and destroy everything in my path. No more mister Nice Jaiden, I want to finally fuck shit up the way it was intended to be. I'm not winning anyways, so why not go out in style? Watch your backs, castaways.

idk whats happening but i slept through the revote and adrian got voted out which  im upset about. he was a number on my side and idk i liked him as a person. on another note, dana is back and i dont know how i feel about it. shes obviously close with everyone and i dont think shes going to be voted out anytime soon but i just need to make sure im on her good side. BUT the good thing about nicholas and zach flipping on adrian/jaiden and not me is that jaiden is mad at THEM and thinks i had nothing to do with it (which is true) MEANING, hes going to do whatever he can to throw them under the bus and not me. i need to start picking up my social game and start becoming friends with everyone and i need to be more active and seem non threatening. right now i think kai and willa like me which is good, so i just need to keep talking to them and i think they wont vote me out until later in the game. obviously zach and nicholas are my best friends but i dont trust nicholas one bit. ive played other games with him and he fucks me over in every single one of them so this time, im going to get the last word. the first chance i get, when i think its a good time, im going to flip on nicholas to get him out. its what she deserves. i brought this idea up to zach and i dont know if he'd be down for it but nicholas just flipped on my closest ally in another game (we were considered a trio in that game too) so im going to say to zach that hes going to be in the same position and that my closest ally was and that we need to flip on him. i think it would be really smart to plant seeds in jaiden's head and have him go after nicholas for us. i think jaiden trusts me a lot and wouldnt go after me so i need to use him to my advantage. i want to make an alliance with zach, willa, and kai because i think willa and kai are kindaish on the outside and don't really have that many loyalties so it would be easy to bring them in. phew idk what im talking about mostly bc i still barely know how survivor works but im going to start to pick up my game and now im going to play to win. i really think i can if i play my cards right. so im sorry if none of this makes sense and its just me rambling but i thot id make a dr about my thoughts sooo hopefully my ass can win immunity this week!

DANA TOLD ME SO MUCH. AND ALSO ------ DANA IS BACK. So BRIAN wants to take me out eventually. In-ter-est-ing. I'm gonna fuck that Brian bloke into the pavement and he wont even know what happened. Metaphorical fucking of course. I'd never have sex with someone who likes the same music as me, that sounds dangerous. I want a final 3 involving Kai + Willa or Gage, but I'm also trying to make a Zachary Julia Me final three happen. I can those 5 fairly easily. The others? not so much. I'm not gonna be voting Dana out, but I'm scared of going to the end with her. Brian seems like a juror who will vote objectively. I'm not, but it's a good thing that he's gonna try to be objective in looking at how hard i blindside his ass out of here. But for now we've gotta take it slow. You can't be dumb. Gotta be smart. I need to vote out Jaiden first. Jaiden is a hazard to everyone, and he's a difficult human being to deal with. Why would I leave Jaiden in the game? ZACHARY IS TELLING ME THAT MY JURY MANAGMENT IS GREAT. I literally tell him that he's going to vote for me from the jury, and we argue about that shit. Now im trying to work with him and he's like "you're playing me arent you? well ill vote for you." like what. I love this

[2017-06-11, 12:02:47 AM] zachary rae: So [2017-06-11, 12:02:53 AM] zachary rae: I am spilling like everything to Bodhi [2017-06-11, 12:02:58 AM] zachary rae: I did something stupid but helpful [2017-06-11, 12:03:18 AM] zachary rae: whic hwas that I told him if he keeps me, because he’s the only one that talks to me, i’ll vote for him at the end and its good to have people like friends on jury [2017-06-11, 12:03:23 AM] zachary rae: but that also implies that i’m willing to be his lapdog [2017-06-11, 12:03:43 AM] zachary rae: but literally im going to be heartless later on and my bitch ass, i promise you, will be cutthroat and ill send him if it allows me to get one spot closer to taking the crown

A QUICK SUMMARY OF DANA's RETURN 28 After the day of rest—a holy day, as the sun rose Sunday morning, Mary from Magdala and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. 2 Suddenly, there was a powerful IDOL. BRIAN had come down from heaven, rolled the stone away, and was sitting on it. 3 He was as bright as lightning, and his clothes were as white as snow. 4 The guards were so deathly afraid of him that they shook. 5 BRIAN said to the women, “Don’t be afraid! I know you’re looking for DANA, who was crucified. 6 SHe’s not here. SHe has been brought back to life as he said. Come, see the place where She was lying. 7 Then go quickly, and tell hER disciples that She has been brought back to life. SHe’s going ahead of them into Galilee. There they will see her. Take note that I have told you.” 8 They hurried away from the tomb with fear and great joy and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly, DANA met them and greeted them. They went up to her, bowed down to worship her, and took hold of her feet. 10 Then DANA said to them, “Don’t be afraid! Go, tell my followers to go to Galilee. There they will see me.”

So its been difficult playing two games at once but somehow i managed to win INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY OMG. I've never won before so I was probably way too excited but idk. sooooo. I'm really proud of myself but really see myself as a huge threat now. I'm playing a great social game where I'm friends with most people. I have a large alliance where I trust most of them very strongly. I'm winning challenges and helping my tribe succeed. I feel like now I'm really gonna need an idol cause I think people are gonna want me gone. I'm gonna try to play up how I don't know what I'm doing and strategy is confusing but I doubt people will buy that. But gotta do my best to not seem like the biggest threat after we target people outside of the alliance. I still think its a little risky keeping zach, julia, and nicholas but honestly I'm friends with all of them for the most part or they respect me so maybe if they do come together against us they would want to do it with me. I like knowing the gossip even tho most of the time I'm the last to know the gossip. IT'S WEIRD BEING SAFE. Like wait. You are telling me I won't go home? "Correct" Wait so like if someone plays an idol? "It won't affect you" BUT, what about rocks???? "You won't be in them" OMG THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE #IFeelLikeAPrincess #AllHailtheQueen I feel like I'm gonna get myself blindsided pretty soon but hopefully Kai has my back and will let me know if anything crazy happens.  

OK SO IT's TIME FOR BIG MOVEZ TALK WITH YOUR RESIDENT HATER OF BIG MOVEZ Hi there. My name is Bodhi. I am 17 years old, and I hate big moves. I'm almost certain that if I wanted to, I could float to the end and win in this game. We would just need to pick off Zach, Julia, and Jaiden, then our alliance would cannibalize Brian, Dana, Lily, Willa, Nicholas. I'd make it to the end, and I'd beat Gage and Kai. That's an easy path for me to take. Big Movez are the devil, why would I ever make them? Well the answer here is simple. It's fun. Dumb big moves are the worst, but smart big movez? now this is something new. I want JURY VOTES, and Zach, Julia, and Jaiden would all be good votes to have at the end. Jaiden is not going to be a part of the plan to move forward though. I can't stand working with him. One thing that I have going for me is that I have been blunt with Jaiden. He knows that I'm voting him out tonight. That is big. The amount of honesty I have given him might lead to his respect down the line. But he thinks I'm bullying him by being honest. Whatever, if he doesn't want to give me his jury vote, that's fine, but I'd like it. I'll need to make Big Movez to suck Jaiden's dick and get a vote from him. I'm not scared to do it. Well I'm a little scared. Jaiden must go home tonight. Getting rid of Jaiden is not a big move. We aren't shaking up the game by getting rid of Jaiden. It's  just some basic janitorial shit, nothing extreme. Jaiden is not worth blindsiding, because he'll like that. He lives for big movez, so I refuse to give him one. After this, the plan is to get a vote split between Zach + Julia. This is not in order to get out either of them. Rather, it is to get out someone in the majority. I was thinking Lily at first, but now she seems to be more hesitant about trusting Brian. So I am considering trusting her. Gage and I are going to flip and make the vote 4-3-3. BIG MOVE Next on the menu is Willa or Nicholas. I don't quite care which, but I think that Willa might be a better call to do first because he's got the idol. Then we're at final 8. Dana, Kai, Gage, Willa or Nicholas, Lily or Brian, Zach, Julia, and myself. I'm closely alligned with Zach, Gage, Julia, Dana, and Kai, and in the time leading up to this I can get even closer with the others. I think I've got enough clear paths to the end that I can make some stupid #BIGMOVEZ and still win. I've got a deal with Dana to go to the end no matter what. I also have a deal with Kai to probably go to the end. I've got potential for a deal with Zach + Julia and go to the end with them. I think if I go with these BIG MOVEZ I might actually appease the juries sentiment of "rewarding objectively better gameplay" and win because of my jury management while they think that it's because of my strategic prowess. If you think that me winning this game along this path is because of strategic prowess, you're wrong. Any strategy that i put into place is solely to get jury votes. It is part of my social game more than anything else. I'd be getting to the end if I didn't make these moves, I'm only doing it so the jury feels like I'm strategically good.

[2:52:56 PM] jaiden: so what r u thinking of doing [2:53:00 PM] jaiden: I KNOW U HAVE IDEAS [2:53:06 PM] jaiden: I'm not gonna rat you out [2:53:16 PM] Bo dhi: what am I thinking of doing? [2:53:21 PM] Bo dhi: well I'm not sure you're gonna like it [2:53:21 PM] jaiden: for tribal [2:53:30 PM] jaiden: I mean as long as it ain't me??? [2:53:32 PM] Bo dhi: my plan is to vote you out tonight if that's alright with you [2:53:41 PM] jaiden: (dull) [2:55:17 PM] jaiden: anyways I'm voting out Nicholas. [2:55:21 PM] jaiden: you can follow me if you want to [3:24:23 PM] jaiden: or not >: ( [3:33:41 PM] Bo dhi: I'm thinking [3:36:29 PM] jaiden: let me know when ur done thinking [3:54:03 PM] Bo dhi: I'm not done thinking but I'm thinking [3:54:39 PM] jaiden: what,,, [3:54:42 PM] jaiden: that doesn't make sense [3:54:54 PM] Bo dhi: think think think [3:55:44 PM] jaiden: alright well I'm gonna go take a shower [3:55:52 PM] Bo dhi: good luck!! [3:55:58 PM] Bo dhi: I hope you have a clean one [3:56:07 PM] jaiden: just pls don't vote me out bodhi. [6:00:10 PM] jaiden: Big mother eggplant I have an idea. [6:00:23 PM] Bo dhi: what is your idea little son eggplant [6:02:32 PM] jaiden: We should vote out Nicholas :) [6:02:41 PM] jaiden: Because zach and Julia hate him and are willing to do it this time [6:03:33 PM] Bo dhi: "anyways I'm voting out Nicholas. you can follow me if you want to" you already brought this up [6:04:04 PM] jaiden: BUT NOW IM SERIOUS ABOUT IT [6:04:10 PM] jaiden: like I was joking then and now I mean it [6:04:12 PM] jaiden: We have the votes [6:04:17 PM] jaiden: Kai will literally do it if you do it [6:04:25 PM] jaiden: we just can't.....tell anyone [6:04:40 PM] Bo dhi: oh it was a joke before? didn't really seem like one [6:05:00 PM] jaiden: Yeah?? I wouldn't just be like "vote him out w me" [6:05:16 PM] jaiden: Bodhi I'm being serious [6:05:16 PM] jaiden: pls [6:05:22 PM] Bo dhi: {quoting earlier in the conversation} > [3:24:23 PM] jaiden: or not >: ( > [3:33:41 PM] Bo dhi: I'm thinking > [3:36:29 PM] jaiden: let me know when ur done thinking > [3:54:03 PM] Bo dhi: I'm not done thinking but I'm thinking > [3:54:39 PM] jaiden: what,,, > [3:54:42 PM] jaiden: that doesn't make sense > [3:54:54 PM] Bo dhi: think think think > [3:55:44 PM] jaiden: alright well I'm gonna go take a shower > [3:55:52 PM] Bo dhi: good luck!! > [3:55:58 PM] Bo dhi: I hope you have a clean one > [3:56:07 PM] jaiden: just pls don't vote me out bodhi. [6:05:59 PM] jaiden: WELL!!!! [6:06:02 PM] jaiden: CAN WE JUST DO IT [6:06:07 PM] Bo dhi: no thanks

Jaiden spent about 20 minutes being a complete asshole to me and then eventually gave up and talked to a ton of people about me behind my back. I honestly am disgusted. He thinks I owe him something, which is bullshit. I don't like him one bit. He might be the person that I've respected least from any game I've ever played.

[9:48 PM] nicholas: <<< On 6/11/17, at 9:43 PM, Logan (he/him) wrote: > Jaiden. I owe you nothing. But I think you owe everyone in this game an apology. For some reason, when you do something cruel, it's a game. But when anyone does anything targeting you? Suddenly they're a piece of shit! I'm thrilled to be writing down your name. whoever wrote this is winning bahamas btw THIS IS MY VOTING CONFESSIONAL. NICHOLAS BETTER KEEP THIS PROMISE

I'm using being castrated by Jaiden and feeling guilty to make people KNOW that I'm not a robot. I want to be loved.

She’s back? Listen I'm not going to pretend to understand what the FUCK this twisted game has in store, but somehow I moseyed my way back from the depths of Ponderosa paradise back into this hellish game. At this point I’ve been back for two days and I have SO MUCH to say. Why am I so irresponsible about confessionals? Well, I tried to write one Friday night… but we’ll get to why that failed. Also because I’m writing this retrospectively right after Jaiden’s vote out, some of what I write was irrelevant in the progression of the game and some is foreshadowing for what ended up happening at the Jaiden vote tonight… just stay with me because too much significant stuff happened to not write this altogether. For the sake of anyone who feels compelled to read this, I’m going to organize it the best I can, starting with my thoughts on being brought back. I.        Being brought back into the game. First, I'd like to thank Brian and his trashy idol for this opportunity. a. Notable reactions and my responses Brian: Immediately wants to talk to me about the game, and is saying that he “brought me back into the game for a reason, because he wanted to work with me. We skyped for THREE HOURS on Friday night, the content of which I’ll get to later in this confessional. Here's the thing, it would be REALLY easy for both Brian and other players in this game to think that Brian bringing me back means that he and I are working together or that I owe Brian... haha NO! That’s not how this is working necessarily. Jaiden: FREAKED out when I was brought back… and at first I thought it was my fault, but then we talked and apparently he’s not really mad at me, just the existence of the idol. And sure, maybe I should have figured that, but his reaction certainly left some questions. Here’s what Jaiden eventually had to say about me coming back after I, stupidly, apologized to him for coming back because I felt guilty (lame, I know) that the impact of his big game move was trumped. On 6/10/17, at 3:53 AM, jaiden wrote: > I just want you to know that my entire reaction to what went down today had nothing to do with you coming back.The idol is in concept extremely unfair, but the way it was executed tonight wasn't and I'm honestly not that mad you're back. I don't have an issue with you, and while I really hope that like, through all of this ugliness and craziness we can literally salvage ANY sort of working relationship, I know it's not going to happen, at least not on your end :/ I know you're a smart girl and very strategic but I honestly doubt that the move I even made anymore was an intelligent one so I don't see how you could justify it either. I'm sorry for getting extremely ugly in the tribe chat over what could've been seen as this whole idol thing taking place, but truly I am just frustrated about every event that went down tonight. What did I get from it? That Jaiden thinks I’m smart and tbh that’s more than enough for me. Honestly if he kept stroking my ego like that, I probably would have even considered working with him. Everyone else’s reactions to me coming back: Too nice honestly. People were THRILLED to see me back and I don’t want this to translate to “does this mean it was actually good for her to go?” Like on a personal note, I was pleased that people were so happy to see me. On a gameplay level, I was like pls can someone other than Jaiden pretend they hate me in this chat so people will think i'm less universally liked (whew that sounds INCREDIBLY cocky, though perhaps not inaccurate within the context of this game ONLY). Just be more casual people. b. Is it fair within the context of this game to bring me back? Listen, I’m definitely NOT an objective judge on that front. Am I happy the advantage exists? Absolutely. Do I see how it can be perceived as unfair? YES. But the way the idol was played within this game didn’t really make things as unfair as it could have if it was played at a later stage, as in it didn’t change much other than shift numbers. It brought back a player who nobody voted out except for one person, who is conveniently the one who is most agitated that the idol exists. Adrian is now first juror instead of me, which would have been the case if Jaiden hadn’t ALSO played a crazy idol like Brian, one that ALSO only exists within the online survivor universe. Moreover, I’m not really even back in the game on my own accord, it was all Brian’s idol, though I benefit from it. So all I can do at this point is keep playing my best game. c. How does being brought back in with this idol change my gameplay? In a way, I kind of feel like a free agent now. Of course, I still have relationships from before. I was re-added to the Bahamian Rhapsody alliance, but the pressure to work with certain people feels significantly lower than it did before I was eliminated the first time. I Coming back also forces me to acknowledge that I am a threat. I’ve already been voted out because I was perceived as a threat, and now I have to work hard to explain why I’m not. I won’t be successful convincing people that I’m not a social threat, I know that. So here is my plan about how to use this idol play to my advantage: 1)        Explain that being brought back in via this whack idol effectively means I CANNOT win. I was voted out once, and that is supposed to mean you can’t win. How could a juror POSSIBLY reconcile my vote out with then naming me the winner? I’ll tell people I’m going to have a much harder time convincing jurors that I would be a legitimate winner, thus making me a good pick to string along in the game. The thing is… this is probably true… It is harder for me to win. Except I’m confident that I’m smart enough to work my way around this and explain how my vote out can be discounted by the actual jury. Thus, I don’t mind floating this idea out there if needed for consideration in hopes of making it further along in this game. To be fair, Bodhi told me he doesn’t think I could win because of my vote out and Jaiden also told Bodhi the same (whether or not Jaiden actually believes this… debatable). 2)        I’m social, but not a game player. I started playing this strategy with Jaiden yesterday. On 6/11/17, at 4:48 AM, Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host) wrote: > My problem in this game, and I think my relationship with bodhi represents this, is that i'm friendly with people but nobody is really playing the game with me. I don't receive a lot of detail ever. Now of course, this is absolutely unrepresentative of my relationship with Bodhi, but I think it is a good (and perhaps not untrue) strategy to employ. II.        What I’m hearing about the game From Brian: We skype Friday night after I’m brought back… FOR A LONG ASS TIME. Was it a productive call? Idk maybe, I definitely learned some things that I’ll mention. Right before we got on call, I was writing a confessional about how Brian bringing me back changed nothing about any allegiance I had to him in this game (which was about zero when I was voted out) and then we call and I start to feel differently. It’s not that the idol produced that though, us talking did. I was still trying to regain my footing in the game and Brian was asking me to make a lot of decisions, which is a position I hadn’t been in before. I was there, he could see me over skype, and I had to think on the spot and speak. He was asking who I want to be in final 5 with and what I think about Willa or Lily making it far—amongst other things. Like SO many questions pls. He tells me that Willa has half of the super idol (the other half of which I still have, yet tell Brian I don’t). This was important information, whether or not it is true, and I can hopefully use it to try to manipulate the super idol advantage or cast doubt within Willa and Brian’s relationship. Brian also sends me an idol spreadsheet that supposedly only him and Kai have access to and are editing (though that myth is shattered quickly when Bodhi tells me he also has it and is contributing). Brian proposes a F3 with me, himself, and Kai (who I’ve still NEVER) spoken to. But he seems to understand that I have to get to know Kai better before committing, but I pretend I’m SO interested. He talks about the big votes being at f5 and f7, where we get out Willa and Lily, because they are threatening as organizers of alliances and social players respectively. As for his plans for other votes, apparently Brian wants to do Nicholas ASAP and obviously Jaiden, but who doesn’t want to vote Jaiden at this point. During the call we’re both talking to Jaiden, and effectively he is telling Brian his plan was always to get me out (on the vote he sapphire idoled me out on) and me that he only idoled me out because he couldn’t gather the votes to vote Brian out. This was the first sign of the extreme havoc Jaiden create within the next 30 hrs. Brian also, ironically, starts telling me that it’s so great that we can talk about the game and he can trust me to say nothing, whereas he couldn’t do the same with people like Bodhi. Brian has started trying to cast a lot of doubt about Bodhi, suggesting that he certainly can’t go far in the game. As Brian is telling me this, I of course know I’m going to tell Bodhi everything that is happening in the morning. Lowkey I have kind of a bad memory though. I wanted to take notes so I could remember everything to tell Bodhi, but that would have been way too obvious, but I manage to tell him most of the important things on our call the next morning. What did I learn from skyping with Brian? Perhaps don’t totally count Brian out as somebody to work with, even though today he came to me about Bodhi being sketchy when he got exiled which I CAN’T have people thinking or talking about. Most significantly I learned that LYING OVER VIDEO CALL IS HARD. Looking into Brian’s eyes over the screen at 5am and pretending to be sad over an immunity idol that I “lost” before I was brought back into the game was HARD… and I’m not a great liar. From Bodhi: Umm… A LOT. But here’s what matters. I don’t think I’ve talked about this in a conf yet, and if I did whatever. Before I got voted out the first time, Bodhi and I supposedly set aside the game for a second to talk about our alliance. [6/7/17, 12:57:22 PM] Bo dhi: So I just want to think out what exactly our alliance is. I just want to know what you want to do alliance wise. [6/7/17, 12:59:48 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): No you’re right, that’s smart because I don’t want something to go down and then us not be friends any more [6/7/17, 1:01:47 PM] Bo dhi: Imo, the two options are either A) we say it's just a game and that we're ok with the other taking us out, or B) that we go to the end together regardless of whether we think we can beat the other [6/7/17, 1:01:57 PM] Bo dhi: I'm honestly good for either one, but I want us to be clear [6/7/17, 1:04:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): I agree, I would feel the same way. Honestly, even though i’ve considered what would happen if I had to do option A, I really don’t think I could do it. I don’t see a path to the end for myself, but if it happens, i’d be happy to be with you there and lose. [6/7/17, 1:09:50 PM] Bo dhi: I could do it with some people, but I don't want to vote you out. Even if we agreed "yeah it's just a game" it would hurt. There’s more… but that’s the relevant part. We agree on Option B and that changes the course of my game. Because I was being completely honest, I’ll go to the end with Bodhi and lose. Happily. But now my game is looking out for the two of us and not just myself. I tell Bodhi about my idol and like clear up everything else I’d even moderately lied about to him to solidify this trust. Since then (once i’m brought back), I’m just like 100% all honesty. But here’s the problem: I am the most paranoid girl in the world. Like I really really hope Bodhi wasn’t lying and nothing he has done would suggest that AT ALL. But I just don’t want to be in this mindset where I’m 100% sure we’re being 100% honest and then actually let myself get disappointed if he decides I’m a liability. Normally if I was thinking about something like this, I would go tell Bodhi, but um IT’S ABOUT HIM SO I CANT. I’m trying my best not to think about it though, because when he is almost inevitably being completely honest and reads this conf. he’ll probably be like “why the doubt?” and it’s like idk man it’s a game that is foundationally built on the hopes that you’ll get paranoid and maneuver based on that… how could I not consider this? ANYWAY, let’s move onto tyrannical Jaiden because I mostly just had to write this part about Bodhi so I would stop thinking about it. Confs are for venting, right? From Jaiden: He’s going to be erratic and unpredictable no matter what. A LOT OF STUFF HAPPENED WITH JAIDEN. I could honestly go on and on and I’d die trying to explain it all, but here’s the short list and then a few important things will be highlighted.  Within the past few hours before his vote out, Jaiden committed to voting Nicholas, told me he implicitly trusts Nicholas, asked me to vote Julia (which apparently Willa put in his head, which he told Bahamian Rhapsody), told Bodhi he wants Bodhi to win, and ripped Bodhi to shreds in pms with me. A TRUE MESS. Leading up to this though, let’s go back to when I was brought back into the game. Because I think Jaiden is PISSED as I mentioned, like going to metaphorically cyber murder me angry. I message Jaiden while he’s having his post-my-return-party blow up and then once I know my life is no longer in the balance, I decide we’re going to talk game. Now remember, Brian and I have already received polar opposite messages about my vote out from Jaiden. Jaiden mistakenly keeps up his pattern of lying and misleading everyone who will speak to him for no reason and doing it TO THE EXTREME. The first lie comes over discussion of who the vote should be for tonight.   [6/11/17, 4:26:36 AM] jaiden: I heard a little idea of maybe going for one particular person but I think that's changed since Brian is back, which is amazing because Brian literally never fails at coming up with a better idea. [6/11/17, 4:27:17 AM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): Who is this one particular person, just to be clear? [6/11/17, 4:28:14 AM] jaiden: not saying anything because I don't wanna screw up whatever good graces I'm in with someone else. I can assure you that it wasn't you though [6/11/17, 4:31:07 AM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): Ok well, you have to understand, that puts me in a little bit of a weird position if i want to work with you. Like you dont have to tell me who said it, but can i know who it is? [6/11/17, 4:31:54 AM] jaiden: Okay, fair. It was Nicholas. So he tells me it was Nicholas, which I’ve already heard from Brian and ASSUME Jaiden has heard from Brian, though he won’t tell me because he’s trying to serve a grammy- award- winning ~I’m trustworthy~ vibe in this conversation. VERY off brand for Jaiden. Well then I started playing hard ball with Jaiden, even though I’m 99% sure I’m voting him out, to tell me who said Nicholas’s name. Eventually after enough prying, he tells me it’s Brian who mentioned it, confirming what I already knew. [6/11/17, 4:33:00 PM] jaiden: I haven't mentioned that it was him to anyone else so if it gets back to him, I'll scream ….LITERALLY I KNOW YOU TOLD JULIA AND ZACH that it was Brian who brought up Nicholas SO YOU BETTER BE SCREAMING JAIDEN…and do you want to hear about convoluted way I found out Julia and Zach knew Brian said this initially? Because… in the midst of me being pretty stern with Jaiden, and really digging into whether he heard it was Nicholas vs. had told Zach and Julia it was Nicholas himself, Jaiden is messaging Julia. So I end up seeing this message from Julia because while Jaiden and I are talking, Bodhi is on call with Zach and Julia. Jaiden -> Julia -> Bodhi -> me. Whew was I mad once Bodhi sent me this. > [6/11/17, 4:27:06 PM] jaiden: Dana is being fucking bitchy [6/11/17, 4:27:16 PM] julia rae: what she sayijng [6/11/17, 4:27:31 PM] jaiden: I told her last night that someone brought up Nicholas going home (it was Brian) but I didn't wanna rat Brian out to her In order to cover that Bodhi and I are working together, I DON’T EVEN GET THE DELIGHT OF CALLING JAIDEN OUT FOR CALLING ME BITCHY. But, this does highlight Jaiden’s sad failure of an attempt to pretend that he and I have some closed stream of information where he’s telling me things he isn’t saying to anyone else. THEN Jaiden spins a WILD tale that I know isn’t true because Bodhi and I had talked about it HOURS earlier. According to Jaiden, Bodhi wanted to take me out of the game and was trying to gather the votes. Once Jaiden basically realizes he is going home not matter what, he LAUNCHES into this story full force, and I’ll admit, even though I know it didn’t happen as he said… he fed into my paranoia a lil. Gage was really the one behind this failed vote plan, as long as Bodhi is telling me the truth, which I believe he is because otherwise there is no reason I would have been made aware of this HOURS before Jaiden told me. [6/11/17, 6:22:13 PM] jaiden: anyways I'm going home. [6/11/17, 6:22:31 PM] jaiden: I'm signing off skype because there's literally no chance people will save me bc bodhi hates me and wants me out [6/11/17, 6:22:38 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): fuck what [6/11/17, 6:22:39 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): ok [6/11/17, 6:24:23 PM] jaiden: Bodhi was coming after you lmao. I flipped it onto Nicholas because of what Brian said. Vote me out, I'm still voting for Nicholas, and I think it's still gonna be me. But Gage told me Bodhi was really wanting to flip on you, Lily, and Brian to get further in the game but for whatever reason!!!!! He's changed his mind. Because I want Nicholas out over you????? Idfk. Anyways I'll lay down and die like Bodhi fucking wants. This is just… a lie. Because while Jaiden is trying to convince me of this, Jaiden is also trying to convince Bodhi that he even told Gage any of this in the first place. This is where the two of them start getting into a fight. But before we get there, let’s take note of what Jaiden sent to Bodhi… [6:19:00 PM] jaiden: Bodhi. I'm not going to win. I literally could go and tell Dana you wanted to flip on her but I won't because I still want to work with you, dude ….HE CAME TO ME AND TOLD ME THAT… REPEATEDLY IN FACT. So then Bodhi and Jaiden start this weird fight, where Jaiden is ranting to me about how Bodhi is a piece of shit and im just like adding nothing of value to the conversation. Finally, Jaiden claims that after he threatened to tell me Bodhi wanted me out…Bodhi wanted revenge. [6/11/17, 6:36:12 PM] jaiden: I told bodhi I could tell you that he was going to vote you out but I wouldn't [6/11/17, 6:36:22 PM] jaiden: Then he went and told Nicholas I was going for him because he's mad … except Bodhi told Nicholas this HOURS beforehand. Yet another lie from Jaiden. With all this lying, he HAD TO GO. Like it was out of hand bad honestly. To his credit, he didn’t know that Bodhi and I are going back and forth this much… but his strategy almost RELIES on nobody comparing any notes, which is too dangerous.   Honestly, I’m just thankful Jaiden is gone because whew was I actually starting to feel irl stressed by his presence. I’ve aged 100 years in the last day and it’s not a cute look. III.        Moving Forward 1)        Lily vs. Brian is going to matter in this next vote. Brian has mentioned to me that “nobody would ever vote Lily” which makes her threatening. Agreed, but If I let people starting voting out social threats right now I might as well say bye to myself round 2. Lily and I talked about Brian as a threat, a conversation the Bodhi and I have had numerous times and that Bodhi says he and Kai have had. Things like this are GREAT for me because they take a little bit of pressure off of my gameplay. Right now I’m debating on whether or not to tell Lily about Brian’s plan to send her home eventually. This could put some pressure back on me, but also it could also give me a lot of leverage over their relationship. TBD. 2)        Fix things with Gage. In spite of Jaiden’s BS, Gage did say he wanted me, Lily, and Brian out… I THINK. I told Gage before the Jaiden vote that he and I should talk game soon, and I need to make that happen today so that we can proceed. 3)        Figure out what to do with my fav Nicholas who I love very much and inevitably will not be able to keep around much longer. I feel like I would love Nicholas as an irl friend, but in this game unfortunately he’s gotta go soon. Current Skink tribe fan theory suggests that he is pretending not to give a fuck about the game so he can go far and win. And honestly? Pretty smart. Good work queen. 4)        Decide whether talking to Kai and Julia outside of tribe chat makes any sense at this point/ ever? I feel like it makes me look disingenuous if I just randomly start speaking to them after we haven’t talked basically ever. I’ve heard from a few players outside of this game that it is only worthwhile to spend time talking to the people you can actually manipulate, so maybe I’ve lost out on those relationships and should keep up the radio silence. TBD. 5)        There is a plan with Zach and Julia in the works that Bodhi is entirely manipulating on his own because I lowkey barely talk to Zach though he is also a fav. I have no reason to believe this plan will work, but also things are lining up so far and Zach/Julia have been honest with Bodhi about their voting thus far. Also important, they don’t know that this plan exists at all. This plan is V ROUGH, but basically makes it so Gage, Kai, Bodhi could flip with Julia and Zach to vote out someone in our Bahamian Rhapsody alliance soon with me joining them later. Most importantly, it is structured to minimize the possibility that Bodhi and I ever have to flip together at the same time because that is too sketchy. WE MADE IT TO THE END AND I FEEL ALIVE. Knowing this game? I’ll probably have to do it all again tomorrow.

Jaiden was robbed but also not robbed. Hopefully Julia can go next and then I can decide if I want to turn on Brian, Bodhi or just... stick with this huge alliance for whatever reason.

so me and zach made a deal with bodhi for him to keep us safe and have nicholas go this week. im really hoping he stays true to that and doesnt try to get us out this time bc honestly we just want to make single digits. i kinda wanna act like the goat so ppl will take me far but we'll see

So originally, my plan for this vote was to do some wonky flipping and take out someone big. But other people have plans for big moves, and I've heard of them from multiple sides. Interesting. There is nothing in stone, but Brian and Nicholas are both potential targets. This is GOOD. I don't want to keep either of them around too much longer, and I think I could easily win either of their jury votes. This is rather dandy. Last night, Brian gave Dana his ideal "boot list." Of course, Dana ran right to me and told me. That's because Dana and I are bffs, and we both think Brian is a threat and a joke. Brian wants a final 4 of Dana+Brian+Kai+myself. This would lead to him booting me in 4th place. I don't want that shit. I'd rather Brian go out before final 4, and I'd rather stick around to the end. So that's my plan. Take Brian out at some point, and win. Solid game plan, right? This final 4 got Kai and I talking about JURY MANAGEMENT. I told Kai that neither of us can beat Dana at the end. I suggested a final 3 with Gage. Of course, I'd rather have a final 3 with Dana, but I don't want that to be too obvious. Kai asked who I think would get each Jury vote. I turned it into a game where we take turns saying one juror each. The reason for this is that I don't want Kai to know how big my Jury ego is, and how I think I can beat almost anyone at the end. It's currently with a Gage majority, which is laughable. I'm just throwing jurors who I think are voting me over to Gage so that Kai thinks that I'm gonna get 3rd place. Here is the list of who each juror will vote for in a final 3 of Kai/Gage/Bodhi according to the list that Kai and I have compiled: Adrian - Gage Brian - Kai Dana - Bodhi Jaiden - Gage Julia - Bodhi Lily - (we decided that she'll vote whoever betrayed her the least) Nicholas - (we haven't discussed this one yet) Willa - Kai Zachary - Gage/Kai Laughable, right? Here's what I think it would look like in reality: Adrian - Bodhi Brian - Kai or Bodhi Dana - Bodhi Jaiden - Gage Julia - Bodhi Lily - Bodhi Nicholas - Bodhi Willa - Kai Zachary - Bodhi Now I'm not absolutely certain, but I do think that I have the most locked down jurors. Dana, Julia, and Zachary are ABSOLUTELY voting for me at the end. Jaiden is voting against me, but I don't really care all that much. I don't think that either of the other two have many jurors locked in. I think I'm all set

Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian by Vachel Lindsay I In a nation of one hundred fine, mob-hearted, lynching, relenting, repenting millions, There are plenty of sweeping, swinging, stinging, gorgeous things to shout about, And knock your old blue devils out. I brag and chant of Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Candidate for president who sketched a silver Zion, The one American Poet who could sing outdoors, He brought in tides of wonder, of unprecedented splendor, Wild roses from the plains, that made hearts tender, All the funny circus silks Of politics unfurled, Bartlett pears of romance that were honey at the cores, And torchlights down the street, to the end of the world. There were truths eternal in the gap and tittle-tattle. There were real heads broken in the fustian and the rattle. There were real lines drawn: Not the silver and the gold, But Nebraska's cry went eastward against the dour and old, The mean and cold. It was eighteen ninety-six, and I was just sixteen And Altgeld ruled in Springfield, Illinois, When there came from the sunset Nebraska's shout of joy: In a coat like a deacon, in a black Stetson hat He scourged the elephant plutocrats With barbed wire from the Platte. The scales dropped from their mighty eyes. They saw that summer's noon A tribe of wonders coming To a marching tune. Oh the longhorns from Texas, The jay hawks from Kansas, The plop-eyed bungaroo and giant giassicus, The varmint, chipmunk, bugaboo, The horn-toad, prairie-dog and ballyhoo, From all the newborn states arow, Bidding the eagles of the west fly on, Bidding the eagles of the west fly on. The fawn, prodactyl, and thing-a-ma-jig, The rackaboor, the hellangone, The whangdoodle, batfowl and pig, The coyote, wild-cat and grizzly in a glow, In a miracle of health and speed, the whole breed abreast, The leaped the Mississippi, blue border of the West, From the Gulf to Canada, two thousand miles long:- Against the towns of Tubal Cain, Ah,-- sharp was their song. Against the ways of Tubal Cain, too cunning for the young, The longhorn calf, the buffalo and wampus gave tongue. These creatures were defending things Mark Hanna never dreamed: The moods of airy childhood that in desert dews gleamed, The gossamers and whimsies, The monkeyshines and didoes Rank and strange Of the canyons and the range, The ultimate fantastics Of the far western slope, And of prairie schooner children Born beneath the stars, Beneath falling snows, Of the babies born at midnight In the sod huts of lost hope, With no physician there, Except a Kansas prayer, With the Indian raid a howling through the air. And all these in their helpless days By the dour East oppressed, Mean paternalism Making their mistakes for them, Crucifying half the West, Till the whole Atlantic coast Seemed a giant spiders' nest. And these children and their sons At last rode through the cactus, A cliff of mighty cowboys On the lope, With gun and rope. And all the way to frightened Maine the old East heard them call, And saw our Brian by a mile lead the wall Of men and whirling flowers and beasts, The bard and prophet of them all. Prairie avenger, mountain lion, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Gigantic troubadour, speaking like a siege gun, Smashing Plymouth Rock with his boulders from the West, And just a hundred miles behind, tornadoes piled across the sky, Blotting out sun and moon, A sign on high. Headlong, dazed and blinking in the weird green light, The scalawags made moan, Afraid to fight. II When Brian came to Springfield , and Altgeld gave him greeting, Rochester was deserted, Divernon was deserted, Mechanicsburg, Riverton, Chickenbristle, Cotton Hill, Empty: for all Sangamon drove to the meeting- In silver-decked racing cart, Buggy, buckboard, carryall, Carriage, phaeton, whatever would haul, And silver-decked farm wagons gritted, banged and rolled, With the new tale of Brian by the iron tires told. The State House loomed afar, A speck, a hive, a football, a captive balloon! And the town was all one spreading wing of bunting, plumes, and sunshine, Every rag and flag and Brian picture sold, When the rigs in many a dusty line Jammed our streets at noon, And joined the wild parade against the power of gold. We roamed, we boys from High School, With mankind, while Springfield gleamed, silk-lined. Oh, Tom Dines, and Art Fitzgerald, And the gangs that they could get! I can hear them yelling yet. Helping the incantation, Defying aristocracy, With every bridle gone, Ridding the world of the low down mean, Bidding the eagles of the West fly on, Bidding the eagles of the West fly on, We were bully, wild and woolly, Never yet curried below the knees. We saw flowers in the air, Fair as the Pleiades, bright as Orion, -Hopes of all mankind, Made rare, resistless, thrice refined. Oh, we bucks from every Springfield ward! Colts of democracy- Yet time-winds out of Chaos from the star-fields of the Lord. The long parade rolled on. I stood by my best girl. She was a cool young citizen, with wise and laughing eyes. With my necktie by my ear, I was stepping on my dear, But she kept like a pattern without a shaken curl. She wore in her hair a brave prairie rose. Her gold chums cut her, for that was not the pose. No Gibson Girl would wear it in that fresh way. But we were fairy Democrats, and this was our day. The earth rocked like the ocean, the sidewalk was a deck. The houses for the moment were lost in the wide wreck. And the bands played strange and stranger music as they trailed along. Against the ways of Tubal Cain, Ah, sharp was their song! The demons in the bricks, the demons in the grass, The demons in the bank-vaults peered out to see us pass, And the angels in the trees, the angels in the grass, The angels in the flags, peered out to see us pass. And the sidewalk was our chariot, and the flowers bloomed higher, And the street turned to silver and the grass turned to fire, And then it was but grass, and the town was there again, A place for women and men. III Then we stood where we could see Every band, And the speaker's stand. And Brian took the platform. And he was introduced. And he lifted his hand And cast a new spell. Progressive silence fell In Springfield, in Illinois, around the world. Then we heard these glacial boulders across the prairie rolled: 'The people have a right to make their own mistakes.... You shall not crucify mankind Upon a cross of gold.' And everybody heard him- In the streets and State House yard. And everybody heard him in Springfield, in Illinois, Around and around and around the world, That danced upon its axis And like a darling broncho whirled. IV July, August, suspense, Wall Street lost to sense. August, September, October, More suspense, And the whole East down like a wind-smashed fence. Then Hanna to the rescue, Hanna of Ohio, Rallying the roller-tops, Rallying the bucket-shops. Threatening drouth and death, Promising manna, Rallying the trusts against the bawling flannelmouth; Invading misers' cellars, tin-cans, socks, Melting down the rocks, Pouring out the long green to a million workers, Spondulix by the mountain-load, to stop each new tornado, And beat the cheapskate, blatherskite, Populistic, anarchistic, deacon-desperado. V Election night at midnight: Boy Brian's defeat. Defeat of western silver. Defeat of the wheat. Victory of letterfiles And plutocrats in miles With dollar signs upon their coats, Diamond watchchains on their vests and spats on their feet. Victory of custodians, Plymouth Rock, And all that inbred landlord stock. Victory of the neat. Defeat of the aspen groves of Colorado valleys, The blue bells of the Rockies, And blue bonnets of old Texas, by the Pittsburg alleys. Defeat of alfalfa and the Mariposa lily. Defeat of the Pacific and the long Mississippi. Defeat of the young by the old and the silly. Defeat of tornadoes by the poison vats supreme. Defeat of my boyhood, defeat of my dream. VI Where is McKinley, that respectable McKinley, The man without an angle or a tangle, Who soothed down the city man and soothed down the farmer, The German, the Irish, the Southerner, the Northerner, Who climbed every greasy pole, and slipped through every crack; Who soothed down the gambling hall, the bar-room, the church, The devil-vote, the angel vote, the neutral vote, The desperately wicked, and their victims on the rack, The gold vote, the silver vote, the brass vote, the lead vote, Every vote?... Where is McKinley, Mark Hanna's McKinley, His slave, his echo, his suit of clothes? Gone to join the shadows, with the pomps of that time, And the flames of that summer's prairie rose. Where is Cleveland whom the Democratic platform Read from the party in a glorious hour? Gone to join the shadows with pitchfork Tillman, And sledge-hammer Altgeld who wrecked his power. Where is Hanna, bulldog Hanna, Low-browed Hanna, who said: Stand pat'? Gone to his place with old Pierpont Morgan. Gone somewhere...with lean rat Platt. Where is Roosevelt, the young dude cowboy, Who hated Brian, then aped his way? Gone to join the shadows with might Cromwell And tall King Saul, till the Judgement day. Where is Altgeld, brave as the truth, Whose name the few still say with tears? Gone to join the ironies with Old John Brown, Whose fame rings loud for a thousand years. Where is that boy, that Heaven-born Brian, That Homer Brian, who sang from the West? Gone to join the shadows with Altgeld the Eagle, Where the kings and the slaves and the troubadours rest.

Brian has been renamed Cool Brian. Stay tuned

I am ADDICTED to suggesting voting out Willa. I have been doing it for many days. It is bad. but i can quit any time i want. right?????

[9:43:38 PM] Bo dhi: ok [9:43:43 PM] Bo dhi: are we doing Nicholas or brian [9:43:55 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): i think nicholas tbh [9:44:14 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): Like Brian has made it pretty clear he wants to work with us, and i dont think we should turn on that yet? [9:44:24 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): but i can really do whatever [9:45:16 PM] Bo dhi: ok I get that [9:45:20 PM] Bo dhi: ill go with that :) [9:45:27 PM] Bo dhi: I mean we gotta talk tomorrow too [9:45:30 PM] Bo dhi: figure it out [9:45:47 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): yeah obv. im mad i dont think ill be around for tribal again [9:47:55 PM] Bo dhi: I wont be here at this one [9:50:06 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): it seems kind of easy, so i guess i wont worry too much, but idk [9:50:12 PM] Bo dhi: wanna make it willa [9:50:16 PM] Bo dhi: that would not be easy [9:50:17 PM] Bo dhi: bad call [9:50:18 PM] Bo dhi: no no no [9:50:20 PM] Bo dhi: don't [9:50:24 PM] Bo dhi: I need to STOP my obsession [9:50:34 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): i kind of dont think willa is a bad ideea [9:51:16 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): because Nicholas will listen to me. and willa WILL try to flip on us [9:51:39 PM] Bo dhi: and I can get Zach + Julia almost without question [9:51:43 PM] Bo dhi: that's 5 [9:51:53 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): yeah but we shouldnt flip together [9:52:16 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): so if we cant pull in another then we should wait a round [9:52:25 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): i mean we can tell nicholas to do it or he’s going [9:52:43 PM] Bo dhi: we can explain working together without it being us two SUPER close [9:53:04 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): yeah ur right i forget that sometimes [9:53:33 PM] Bo dhi: should we [9:53:53 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): idk do we isolate too many people [9:53:55 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): i think we might [9:54:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): if we wait 1 round [9:54:11 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): it might be better [9:54:46 PM] Bo dhi: but then one of us could be exiled [9:54:55 PM] Bo dhi: and willa would know that the game was starting to shake around [9:55:19 PM] Bo dhi: and there would only be 3 more votes to use the idol [9:55:23 PM] Bo dhi: so theres a good chance [9:55:30 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): right- also for all we knwo, willa is trying to pull something this round [9:55:36 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): like i dont know why he wouldnt [9:56:17 PM] Bo dhi: absolutely. I think it could be neccecary to be honest [9:56:24 PM] Bo dhi: gage will come back and work with us [9:56:39 PM] Bo dhi: the question is who do we get rid of next [9:56:44 PM] Bo dhi: because that could screw us [9:56:50 PM] Bo dhi: we might need to just take out brian/lily [9:56:57 PM] Bo dhi: and then we're the big threats to flip on [9:58:02 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): i think the urgency of getting Willa out of this game depends on what conversations we hear tomorow. [9:58:10 PM] Bo dhi: excellent call [9:58:13 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): if we start hearing non Nicholas/ Julia [9:58:17 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): we need to strike for sure

so like i obviously said ive been wanting to flip on nicholas for awhile. i think whats going to happen tonight is the whole majority is going to tell us that the majority is brian. i think either an idol is going to be used on brian or itll be 3-3-3 and they either vote me or nicholas out in the revote. my plan is to get me and zach to flip on nicholas, voting him out and itll be 5-3-1. it'll keep MY ass safe and its what nicholas deserves. god i hope this works B)

I'm having difficulty trusting Zach as much as i would like to because he is very paranoid even though he has immunity. So like. Fuck.

Today, Brian made a slip that cost him the game. He's said things to Dana and I that make it seem like he knows we're tight, and just this morning when i said that I know Willa has an idol he said "oh, so Dana told you?" Now Dana and I don't trust that he's actually wanting us in the final 4, and Dana wants to vote him out. I literally am so fine with voting him out it's not even funny. So it is time to vote out the Prairie avenger, mountain lion, Brian Brian Brian Brian. Cool Brian is going to leave, and that's gonna be the end of him! I really hope he and Adrian have a good time on the jury together. That sounds like a fucking party. So we've got Dana, Zach, Julia, Nicholas, and myself voting Brian, and then FUCKIN GAGE COMES BACK FROM EXILE. N O N O N O. 10 people is a weird number to make a big move with. 6-4 is just an AWKWARD dynamic. But we're doing it anyway I guess.

So according to Zachary, Willa decided to take advantage of the split and try to rally Zach Julia and Nicholas against Brian. This lets us have ANOTHER split. So this vote could theoretically be 5-2-2-1. I'm heavily considering getting myself and Dana to vote for Willa just in case Brian has an idol. This could be an incredibly complex vote.

Ok so Willa wants to flip and get out Brian? (me too but) we're gonna be splitting votes between Brian and Willa because Willa so kindly graced us with his vote!! There's a method behind this madness of a 4-3-2-1 vote. We want Willa to think he was being blindsided, but it failed last minute. How do we do this? VOTING CONFESSIONALS. Zachary puts a 1 on his vote, Nicholas puts a 2 on his vote, and .... I PUT A 4 ON MY VOTE. Then Willa is like "shit, had #3 voted for me, I'd be dead." This plan exists so that Willa freaks out about whether there are people actually gunning for him, and so he starts trying big shit. It'll get him to waste his idol next tribal (just wait), and it'll also get him to try and completely realign himself. This is NOT going to work for our tragic hero, but it'll make for one hell of a few days.

There have been 101 conversations about what the fuck is going down at tribal tonight, and while I feel like I'm totally up on the plan, everyone is trying to make an OTT move tonight sooo Alright, so Bahamian Rhapsody alliance basically has a conversation about splitting votes between Nicholas and Julia this morning. To be honest, I never really want either of these two to leave. Julia barely plays this game, and I think I have a better chance of getting someone like Nicholas to work with me later down the line then someone like Willa. So basically this plan immediately disintegrates, but right now hopefully Brian, Kai, and Lily are still believing it. So Bodhi and I decide that even though we have a F4 with Kai and Brian called "The Hotdogs" it's probably time for Brian to go. He could have advantages, he's also just generally a threatening player because of his relationships and strength in challenges. At this point, Bodhi and I are going to vote Brian with hopefully Zach, Julia, Gage, and Nicholas. This, however, would mean that we were flipping together, which the goal is not to do. Then things get shaken up because Zach tells Bodhi another group has brought him a blindside for Brian tonight. I assume it's Willa, because Willa is probably coming from the same place Bodhi and I are, where he's like "I need to make a move." So we assume that Willa is trying to also take advantage of the vote split using Nicholas, Zach, Julia, and MAYBE Lily (whose willingness to vote for Nicholas was unclear). Basically, I give Bodhi the idea to tell Zach that he HAS to tell Bodhi who told him about blindsiding Brian because if a unanimous blindside for Brian were to come together from two separate groups (who didnt know the other was voting Brian) and Brian played an idol, someone like Julia or Nicholas could go home, which is the exact situation Zach wants to prevent. At this point, Zach tells Bodhi it is Willa, confirming what I already thought. Then Bodhi is like, lets split even further, and tells me he wants to pull off a 4-3-2-1 vote. We pick Willa because we know Willa has an idol, and thus in the off chance Brian has an idol, Willa will be gone and his idol flushed. Bodhi, somewhat naively imo, tells me it's going to be easy, which I think is a complete overestimation of how complex this game is, but whatever. He tells me to still vote Brian, which was my plan anyway. So then the vote breakdown would go as follows: 4 Brian (Me, Gage, Julia, Willa), 3 Willa ( Bodhi, Zach, Nicholas), 2 Nicholas (Brian and Lily), 1 Julia (Kai). Bodhi has some really flashy plan to pretend the split for Willa was last minute move by making people number their votes 1,2,4 so it looks like someone defected last minute and that Willa was only 1 vote from leaving the game. It's really fucking funny, but also it would be stupid for me to not think about how this impacts my game. Here's the thing, overall, this is all kind of fine with me. If I weren't playing this game, I would love it. Even still, if it works, it'll be hysterical. But moving forward in this game, a move like this REALLY isn't advantageous for me and i'm worried i'm starting to get envious? jealous?-- idk which word is better-- of people who are going to be visible for making big moves like this if they get to the end, including people like Bodhi. Because here's the thing, i'm still an important player in this move to take out Brian and split with Willa, but I'm a silent player and I didn't really choose to be. As far as Zach, Nicholas, and Julia know, I have no knowledge of this plan of a side split for Willa, and that sucks for me. It also makes my day harder, because I can't talk to any of them right now without putting them in a position where they would have to lie to me and pretend they aren't voting for Willa. So instead I have to ignore them, so as to avoid a situation where they lie to me, vote Willa tonight, and then feel uncomfortable playing the game with me moving forward because they know they've been dishonest with me and I might not trust them. So assuming things go down like this... what do i gain from this move? Very little is the answer. Perhaps Willa and Gage (who I already know is uneasy about me for no reason) start to trust me more. But I get none of the glory of pulling off something funny or smart, and more importantly I've voted out someone who claims they want F4 with me and put him on the jury, which is blood on my hands that people like Bodhi won't have. More importantly, the Willa defectors get to put a cool move on their resumes. So I have two counter plans that can help me compensate for having to partake in this move as a silent actor. One of them is necessary imo, and the other is nothing more then a plan in the works for me to get the glory I deserve. 1) One thing i'm PANICKED about tonight is that a group of Julia, Zach, Nicholas, and probably Lily (because she's close with Nicholas) could come together and pick a new target. Namely, someone like me, which would either create a tie with Brian or if they could pull enough people, send me home. This is paranoia in prime form, and I know it. BUT, In order to prevent this, I'm toying with the idea of sending Lily a boot list Brian sent me the other night (I know, A BOOT LIST, who sends those) that has her as the f10 boot and telling her she should vote with me tonight for Brian. This would give me some more confidence in her, and eliminate the possibility that she is conspiring with a Zach, Julia, Nicholas group about picking their own target. it also makes the 4-3-2-1 less flashy by producing a 5-3-1-1, which is kind of bitchy of me, but ummmm... who cares? Here's the problem though: I don't want Lily to have time to go to Brian with this information before the vote because it increases the chances of idol play. Anyway, I just have to think about that option for the next few hours. 2) I am plotting my big move. If I gain no notoriety  from this vote, you bet people are going to be thinkin I'm (cautiously) good at this game by the next vote. If Gage doesnt get closer to me by the next vote, I'm thinking of targeting him because he is a sneaky snake in this game and really playing a pretty good UTR game in my opinion. Other than that, hopefully things go well tonight. Either way, the fallout from this vote PROMISES to be lit and I better be here tomorrow.