#pain! pain for one thousand years!!

[steelthroat]

Here's another wip for school, it's upside down technically, the part of the sea is almost over and now I gotta do the floating islands in the middle, the clouds, the giant ghostly cat and the little skeleton!

If you're confused, fear nor I'm also confused!

Yeeeeee!!!!!

#art of steel #this is the second of my 5/6 long projects that are gonna take me occupied for the rest of my school year #i like this one #i would like it thousands of times more if my professor hadn't decised to use my project as an experiment #but that's okay #i am not a resenful person *gets a baseball bat* #I've never painted the sea in my life before #fun but a pain in the ass #and it's not even realistic #heh #also this work is bigger than I'm comfortable with lol #50×150 cm #ffs

[zonkedtothemax]

you gonna cry about it :(

#second ever original art post #sound off #5 years on this wretched site. i broke my lurker streak for this #mfw im a fruity ass mouse and the sad cowboy movie hits a little too close to home #(i have not watched brokeback mountain) #but my mom and a good friend of mine did. so until i do #thats close enough for comic work #anyway thank you mouse enjoyers for keeping my spirits up post reboot cancellation #i will miss it always <3 #alright tag time #pinky and the brain #animaniacs reboot #brinky #animaniacs 2020 #pinky and the brain reboot #do i tag this as brokeback mountain? #or will they be scared by my insane rats #also tumblr image crunchiness die one thousand painful deaths #pro tip for anyone trying to edit a post and reupload higher quality images. #dont name both the crunchy and sharp files the same first word. #for whatever reason #tumblr shits its pants if you do #the file name for both of them started with 'mice' #and the sharp one only went through when i renamed it #love this website but it sucks bad #ok essay clear. (fart sfx) #FUCK i forgot my own tag #my art

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨ #and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate #so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah. #thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou #i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh #compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol #i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help— #so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig #my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa #i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control… #b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you #tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao #so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol #but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato) #so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though #either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane #i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date… #at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration… #…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig. #oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far… #i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience. #help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m. #anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee

[stromer]

i think being given the opportunity to get all up in quinn's face and scream "OUTFIT REPEATER! OUTFIT REPEATER! OUTFIT REPEATER!" until i'm blue in the face would fix me

#his goofy ass would probably hit me with an “outfit rememberers are way more embarrassing... 😬" #everyday canucks media posts a quinn arrival clip and every time he's in that same stinky suit he's been wearing for the last 3 years. #its morphed into his skin it's painful to even TRY to take off. #when he plays hockey it just hides underneath his pads. in the off season he simply wears a skin suit. that suit is a part of him #my brother. bought a thousand dollar pleather jacket and can't even buy a new suit. or bring a different one for the plane AND the game...

[starpros-sunshine]

Sometimes I wonder why cold symptoms always get worse in the evenings there has to be a logical explanation for that

#i need to know #i might have only choosen the biology major because I had no other choice but i do genujnely think the human body is a fascinating object #we should not exist there is no reason we should exist but here we are and here we are exactly the way we are isn't that funny? #it's such a silly body too what you're telling me I could produce an entirely new person in here #but one falsely mutated cell that brances out and has a personal problem with me specifically can kill me in a year or less? #that doesn't seem right. #if you think about it children are a little bit like cancer actually #i won't be opening that can of worms actually lets keeo that locked away in zhe cupboard #oh yeah and you can inherit the murder cell mutation because of course you can #and then we came up with thousands of ways to cure thousands of ailments and what did we do we put them behind a paywall #come onnnnnn where's the fun in that #we have this cool stuff why do you not let us use the cool stuff #i don't do meds on principle if I have anything I jusz sit that out raw and painful but hey it's not my place to tell others to do it my way #i just don't like the thought of building up a resistance against stuff so I just take my ibuprofen if there really is no way to function #without them anymore #luckily that's not the case a lot of times #i can work fine with the headaches they're just annoying #make the head foggy and words take a second to comprehend and the light hurts but i can work with it #have you ever had two kinds of headache atbthe same time thazs an experience #dealing with a tensuoj headache and then also the clogged nose headache is. it sure is something #you don't know where exactly it hurts and it's not so bad that you have to lie down but then you hold your head the wrong way #and Boom a bomb goes off up there #fascinating stuff #how did I even get here

[theyellowhue]

Do you ever think about how Prapai cried after Sky broke up with him??? Mr. Freedom is the BEST got dumped and then tears.

I knew Prapai likes Sky. I knew at that point that Prapai wants something real and steady with Sky but it didn't register to me how in love Prapai was before that moment. I guess i still saw him as the playboy until that point.

Who would've thought that I would cry over a broken-hearted playboy?

Prapai was so ready to have Sky in his life forever. The man has truly fallen in love and for that to be crushed???

But what made my tear ducts run for their money is the fact that Prapai never got angry with Sky over it. He was madder about how Sky thought he didn't deserve Prapai's love. The pain was hard but the pay off was beautiful.

#seeing prapai and sky crying in one episode gave me pain worth a thousand years #not even kidding when i say that i absolutely hate seeing my sons in tears even if its necessary for their story progression #did we really have to make them break-up??? do you hate happiness is that it??? #love in the air #love in the air the series #prapaisky

[bumblingbabooshka]

A Star Trek Novel called “Pocket Full of Lies” really has NO business going so hard.

#IMPORTANT NOTE: I only read Star Trek Novels as they pertain to Tuvok #so I have no idea about how the novel reads overall #but the Tuvok storyline????? Damn. DAMN dude. #what if you were suffering from a loss that affected and changed you so deeply that even those closest to you no longer recognized you? #and that change is symbolized and mirrored through this alternate reality version of your best friend who in YOUR universe also no longer #understands you...could never understand you...but THIS version of her is familiar. You can share each other's pain. You understand one #another in a way no one else does. And what if your inner grief/turmoil #was symbolized again in this alternate timeline by a constant war that's been raging f #for thousands of years with no end in sight no matter how hard you fight. The fighting in the end means nothing. The violence means nothing. #The death means nothing bc when you die another will take its place. #'His death was meaningless like this is meaningless' you think initially only to find that NO! It's the holding on to the PAIN that's #meaningless. It's the SUFFERING that's meaningless. #Tuvok being sent to convince ALT Janeway to give herself up to Starfleet but being unable to do so because he sympathizes and empathizes #with her...because (on another level) she isn't ready to give up the war (the suffering grief) and neither is he because to them the war #and the pain has BECOME the people they're grieving (Elieth & Daughter) so to give up feeling pain is to give up feeling love #but that isn't TRUE!!! and we see that in how Tuvok actually rebukes the affections and concerns of those attempting to reach out to him #and offer love...in reality this 'protection' or 'vigilance' is unhealthy and closes them off from healing and love. Bad coping mechanism. #Initially Tuvok pushes away everyone he comes across but through helping Janeway he helps himself and is finally able to take steps towards #acceptance in the purging of his anger on Dayne (Alt Janeway's husband who willfully allowed her daughter to die) #and we can see this in his outlook on how to move forward. In the beginning he's like 'I will never heal from this and I'll just live the #rest of my life never feeling safe or at peace.' <- defining and living his life according to the pain he's suffered #but in the end he has a more hopeful outlook...he sees that there are people around who want to be there for him and that he wants to lean #on...maybe forgiveness doesn't mean literally forgiving those who caused you to suffer but instead finally letting go of that suffering #and living according to joy...friendship..two hands clasped together. love. #novel experiences #Tuvok #Janeway #st voyager #oh ALSO the fact that Janeway always manages to survive being turned from a good thing to a very bittersweet thing for Tuvok bc his own #son was not so lucky...-chefs kiss-

[yeonban]

Normally Tobias wouldn't gaf about Kira since he doesn't mind murder and he knows he can't be killed by the 'regular' Kira, nor does he care that L & Watari died because of him, but this part annoys him. I'm sure that with as many mafioso as this implies dying at the same time, Tobias' plans about everything must've been MAJORLY thrown off-course and he must've had to start everything back from scratch while simultaneously hiding himself and the remaining mafiosos' identities from Kira/L, and practically every other form of "justice" or 'revenge" in the world

#muse: tobias. #It's clear that not every US mafioso died bc even Mello had 3/18 men remaining; so on This large of a scale there must be thousands #if not even more remaining; but still... every one found in the FBI and CIA's databases IS dead. which must be an appalling number #by this point Tobias thankfully has a good enough network to not have to rely /only/ on the mafia but BROTHER is he irritated about it. #even worse is that Tobias had a hard enough time getting everything started up bc when he left Wammy's Kira had already eliminated L #and had started tearing down every criminal in the world for 4-5 FULL years. which was a pain and a half for Tobias to work around #especially since that's when he had to find his connections and them dying right after he made deals w them was Exasperating #AND THEN KIRA ALSO KILLED MELLO? HIS FAVORITE PERSON? It's a good thing Light got caught by NEAR that's all I'm saying.

[pastel-rights]

And then I finally end it off with some doodles of them… they make me feel things.

#ringmaster doodles #sona art #( they’re very much the theme of. love in the face of the neverending march of time. ) #( being immortal and knowing you will outlive the man you love because someone else deemed he unworthy of eternal life. ) #( he may still have tens of thousands of years left. sure. but you know that those will go by and he’ll disappear in the blink of an eye. ) #( and you’ll sit there on his death bed. wondering why did things end up like this? ) #( wondering what you did wrong. and if you could have done something different. you’ll always ask yourself. ) #( if he lives a life of happiness and comfort or did he live a life as gruesome and miserable as the wars on earth? but you won’t know. ) #( and the more you think about it. the more you realize it. how nihilistic he was. and how he never seemed to smile even in the good times. #he always seemed to have a frown or a scowl on his face. he always seems bothered and unhappy. ) #( so you wonder if it was something you did. because you know you aren’t perfect. you’re hardly good. ) #( you wonder if he’s mad at you. maybe he was. but he doesn’t have the heart to stay mad. ) #( and that’s love in the face of adversity. knowing that no matter how bad it gets. he loves you as you love him. ) #( and you wonder why he never smiles. because he truly never does. and so you ask him. honest and true. ) #( and he tells you there isn’t anything worth smiling for. nothing in this whole world. ) #( but he smiles at you. it’s always small. and it’s always brief. ) #( but that smile. that smile means love. ) #( that hug. as flimsy as it may be. that hug means love. ) #( of course. he isn’t affectionate. if anything. he detests it. he hates physical contact of any kind. you’ve noticed. ) #( which is a shame. you love your hugs and your kisses and your hand holding. ) #( but even if he doesn’t like it. he lets you do it. because it makes you happy. ) #( and you learn that when you’re happy. he’s a little less miserable. ) #( of course. not all love is equal. and not all love is fair. ) #( the love from a lover and the love from the father can never equate to one another. ) #( no one will love you in the same way a father or mother loves you. in the same manner. no one will ever love you the way I do. ) #( because my love will remain with you. long after I disappear. ) #( and as bitter as the idea of my own existence coming to an end is. knowing I did all of this for. essentially nothing. ) #( that I’ve gone through all this pain and suffering and hardship just for it to all amount to nothing. for it to be fucking useless to try. #I get to die knowing that you’ll always love and be loved. and that’s enough for me… ) #( … maybe there is something worth smiling for after all. )

[hsyliker]

i think a lot about how the 41st shin yoosung gave up everything for yoo joonghyuk—how she voluntarily wandered for thousands of years alone outside the scenarios, alone and lost in the name of saving the world.

orv tells us this:

Thanks to Yoo Joonghyuk, Shin Yoosung moved alone in the labyrinth of worlds for over 1,000 years. She worked 200 years for the sake of humanity. She kept her promise to defend the world for 200 years. Then for another 200 years, she remembered Yoo Joonghyuk and her companions.

it just makes me so. when did she grow up? when did she start becoming The Disaster of Floods and not shin yoosung, the little girl who loved so much and so fiercely that she could endure centuries alone just to see her friends again? did she feel lonely? was she afraid?

i think kid yoosung and biyoo are both really important to orvs storytelling—and in a way, they are both indubitably 41st yoosung who finally got her happy ending. but sometimes i think about it and just. ouch.

#like you dont understand she is there for like. one and a half arcs but i overthink her SO badly…. #she just loved her friends….and all she got was pain for thousands of years because of it #yes parallels no i am not coherent enough to explain rn #only emotion!!! heartbreak!!! #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #41st shin yoosung #sys #mine

[princeanxious]

All I want for Christmas is for my teeth to go more than one full year without damning me to horrid excruciating pain out of the blue at the worst time

#literally would rather just be rid of all my teeth and have fake ones. my current set feel like a lost cause #theyve been weakened by years of unknowing malnutrition and constant and consistent care after a couple thousand- #-dollar proceedures iver three weeks just a year and a half ago is not fucking worth it #not if im right back to pain in one whole side of my mouth so bad that with ibuprophen it still wouldnt let me sleep

[ceaseless-rambler]

Me when I'm reading angst: you HURT blorbo??? You hurt them with the angst? Oh! Oh! Jail for author! Jail for author for One Thousand Years!

Me when I write something angsty: every ounce of sadness and pain gives me more power <3 I am subsiding on your tears and your tears alone <3

#this is to say #keep expressing your pain in the tags of my gptvtmk posts #i LOVE when you do that #it is also to say that #@ rainbowstargazerlilies needs to be nicer to [redacted] or I'm jailing them for one thousand years #but also i get it #it's so fun to hurt my blorbos <3

[flippedorbit]

i would like everyone to know i slept for two hours straight before my alarm to go to sleep went off and woke me up

#Rasp Rambles #i am tired and in pain. time to sleep for one hundred thousand years

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

yaz, somewhere between 25 and 30 years old she lost track a while ago, watching from a distance as 10 tries to impress a 20-year-old, the moment hes sent her away and rejoins yaz: shes too young for you mate

#heard 10 identify one of the mars colonists as 'mia bennett biologist. youre only 27 years old :(' and i was like HM #and sure that tone was bc shes gonna die today #bUT #yaz in retrospect being like OH MY GOD YOU WERE RIGHT #I WAS YOUNG #having got over the most painful of the 13 pining as shes been travelling with 10 but in this moment wanting MORE THAN ANYTHING #to just call her to say 'you were right you were so right i respect your choices' #'also you a millennia ago was a dumb loser and i like him SO much' #god can you imagine #leaving a voicemail for 14 like #oh my goddddddd #yaz&10 #anyway 10 is like wot. what do you want me to do? im 900 #shes like well get a timelord then #echoing missy a thousand years early fghkghjghg #everything else is cradlesnatching

[galwithalibrarycard]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only good thing about the covid years is that they gave me an excuse to skip the yearly hell of colonoscopy prep for three years in a row. Sadly, my time has run out and tonight is and has been Suffering Hours again. Also the readmore function on mobile seems to be broken now, so I can’t even complain in relative private out of respect to the squeamish and the many folks in worse situations who don’t deserve to hear me complain and to whom I wish the best.

#pain in the ass tag #health shit #no pun intended #i am rewatching nmtd to cope #hero’s birthday is imminent and I only have one more thing of water to down #so it’s almost over and I won’t be suffering alone #i have to pay over a thousand dollars every year for the privilege of spending a day torturing myself to clean my pipes #so they can be checked for inflammation #i have to PAY for this #chronic illness is ASS #yes it’s important that I do it but ughhhh #i had so much hope for the pill prep but NOPE STILL ASS #if I’m unhinged on here tomorrow it’s bc I’m gonna be high for a while thx anasthesia

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

You’d cut me open with a sword like it’s nothing, but you’re scared of me being in a little pain? Hypocrite.

— Illex Corva.

#decided bia’s term as the only oc with a web weave was coming to a close :] Illex my absolute beloved deserved a turn #anyways! lillex my beloved. they’re an avian in a world that isn’t able to handle them (AKA they are an unsubtle allegory for autism) #with severe abandonment and trust issues (and a heaping amount of demand avoidance on top) #and also they’re a masochist. because I wanted to honour and dissect chronic pain in a way I haven’t done before #the simple way to describe them would just be. flight risk. which is intentional and I am not one bit sorry about the pun #this is my fucked up little bird :] they need one thousand years of therapy #long post #MHV #Illex #<- made their tag before I gave them a last name and I’m not going back to retag them all