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renn-and-the-trashcan · 6 years

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Idiot by Association

THREE. THOUSAND. SEVEN HUNDRED. AND SIXTY SIX WORDS. What the hell me?! It’s not even the day of the prompt anymore, it’s past midnight! But that shows how much I put into this I guess. I just hope this doesn’t continue, or else I’ll be ruined before the end of the week 2.

Swear warning. I really need to remember to include these.

Week 1, day 4 prompt: Alternate Universe version of PTA. Universe: PTA Underfell

Sans sighed, looking at himself in the mirror, anxious. He was wearing the nicest non-suit he had, a fancy schmancy red dress shirt, a nice pair of black pants Papyrus recommended, brown dress shoes, and a sky blue tie that Frisk gave them (he didn’t care if it didn’t go with the outfit, he was going to goddamned wear this bloody amazing gift the kid went out of their to get him, clashing or not).

Papyrus peered into the bathroom where Sans was, taking a look at him. “Ahh, there you are! Still getting dressed, are we brother?”

Sans looked over, yet again sighing. “Yep… Watchya think?”

Papyrus looked him up and down, commanding him to turn so that he could see the back. Finally, he said “It will do. My research indicates this to be a semi-formal attire event in terms of apparel, so that should do you well brother, though I recommend gloves to go with it. Just do not say watchya during the proceedings, keep yourself formal and respectable! We’re representing monsterkind and- more importantly- Frisk here! Understood?!”

Sans nodded, they’d been through it all before. “Got it bro.” he turned back to the mirror, checking his teeth for anything before quickly turning back to Papyrus. “Hey, wait, why aren’t you goin’ to this thing instead of me?!”

Papyrus quickly answered “Because Sans, Frisk ask you to attend as opposed to me!” He struck a flaunting pose to show off the wonderful suit jacket he was wearing. “Besides, me and Frisk are going shopping! We’re going to pick out various outfits for Frisk!”

As much as Sans wanted to argue or let out a sigh at least, all he could do was look away and smile at how excited Papyrus was to buy outfits with Frisk (something he knew nothing about, thus Papyrus’s help with his own outfit).

It didn’t matter how shitty this whole thing was, so long as it made Frisk and Papyrus happy.

Papyrus interrupted his train of thought. “The meeting is in thirty eight minutes Sans! I expect you to be at the door in approximately eight at maximum!”

Sans sighed, holding back a chuckle as Papyrus walked off. He looked in the mirror again. Teeth clean, golden tooth twinkling to a shine, face washed, clothes “dapper” as Alphys had told him…

He kept wondered if he should do anything about the crack in his skull, until he heard Papyrus shout “FIVE minutes Sans!”

___________

As Papyrus and Frisk drove off, Sans looked around the front of the school. He remembered scoping this place out once (he wanted to make sure Frisk would be safe), and he’d been here plenty of times to pick up Frisk on his motorcycle (which kids really seemed to like for some reason), but otherwise he’d never gotten to know the place.

He began walking to the front doors of the school, feeling more and more anxious and glad Papyrus had given a pair of gloves in the car (they went with his outfit, and hid his sweaty, bony palms).

He walked through the wide open door, and looked around. He immediately noticed a whiteboard pointing him in the direction of the meeting, and so walked down the hall it pointed, taking his time to see what the school looked like along the way.

After walking through a few halls and past some classrooms (nothing of interest to Sans), he saw another whiteboard next to a doorway, and made his way inside.

The room was fairly large, tables pushed off to the sides with food and beverages laid out on them and a circle of chairs in the middle for approximately thirty people. Sans was quick to count heads, eighteen people present aside from him, one of them standing next to the door in a suit with a clipboard.

The man stared at Sans for a moment, before clearing his breath and saying “Uhh- Sorry, sir, but this is a PTA meeting for the teachers and parents of students attending this school.”

Sans nodded, confused. “Uhh, yeah, I know. That’s why I’m here.”

The man stared at him, much more confused than before, and quickly looking over his clipboard (list of attending parents, if Sans had to guess). After a brief moment, he looked back up and told him “I- Uhh… I’m sorry to say, but you seem to be mistaken somehow. No monsters have chosen to-”

“Been allowed to.” Sans corrected him.

He continued. “No monsters have chosen to attend this school, so I fail to see how you could possibly be one of our parents tonight.”

Sans shook his head, somehow unsurprised. Looking him straight in the eyes, he explained “My name is Comic Sans MS Gaster, my kid’s name is Frisk.”

The man seemed to recognize the name Frisk, as he began scanning over his clipboard again to check. He put his finger to the board, underlining something with it before grabbing a pen from his pocket and marking it off. He turned back up to Sans and held out a hand. “Well- uhm, I’m pleased to meet, Mr.Gaster. I’m Henry Pascuzzi.”

Sans grasped his hand, giving him a firm shake and a smile. “Pleased to meet ya Henry, but just call me Sans.” He didn’t like going by his last name, and would have prefered Frisk not have taken it if possible (unfortunately not by human law).

Henry nodded. “Anyway, the meeting should start in fifteen minutes. Feel free to get to meet the other parents.”

Sans nodded in return, turning back to the rest of the room and noticing how, by now, all seventeen other people were staring at him. Some seemed confused, some angry or fearful, one or two simply curious.

He bit back a retort aimed towards them all and walked into the general room, trying to look around innocuously as though he didn’t notice their blatant staring.

He decided to walk over to one of the food tables, one without anyone, and looked around at all the non-magical food he couldn’t eat. Lemon squares, some brownies, homemade fruit punch, all delicious sounding…

But again, he couldn’t eat any, so he considered what it was he should do.

“Excuse me, but have we met before?” Sans turned, and saw a man wearing a light brown jacket, a tshirt, and a pair of jogging pants, clearly unfamaliar to him.

Sans let out a chuckle, answering “Yep, we totally did. Remember it like it was yesterday… My adopted kid asked me to attend the PTA meetings at their school and you walked up to me because monsters don’t attend the school. Wait, that’s right now, whoops.” He let his joking expression fall, about to bite back with a proper retort before realizing he should probably not make these people hate him. Instead, he put out his hand with a serious expression. “Call me Sans, your name?”

He swallowed any spit he had sitting around his mouth and shook it, saying “Name’s Dan. So- errmm, you’re a skeleton, huh?”

Sans nodded, keeping his serious expression. “Got a problem with that?”

Danny’s eyes widened as they quickly shook their head.

Sans let out a small burst of laughter at their scared expression. “Ahh, don’t worry Dan, you’re already doin’ better than a lotta of people by just talkin’ to me.” He leaned against the wall and asked “So, you a parent?”

Dan nodded, slightly eased by the laughter yet slightly unnerved by how Sans laughed. “Errm, y-Yes! My kid’s name is Nick. He’s a quiet kid, but he behaves and is friendly enough, smart too.”

Sans let out a chuckle. “I can relate, pretty sure my kid’s selectively mute. Err- Frisk. That’s their name.” He never did well with social interaction. Growing up it was either “They might kill you so analyze everything” or “I love you but man you are an asshole,” resulting in lackluster communication capabilities.

He nodded, before pausing for a moment. “Wait… Frisk, as in the kid vouching for monsters?”

Sans took a deep breath, understanding that Dan was probably not meaning what it felt like, like he was judging them and his child for being goddamned decent people. “Yeah, that’s them. Guess it explains how I got to be their Dad, huh?”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t know, you seem pretty good to me. You’re coming here after all just because- uhh... they asked you to. Makes sense they’d want you as a parent.”

Sans stared at them, utter shock in both his eyes.

“Uhh…” Dan asked “Are… Are you okay, Sans? You’re not- like, having a stroke or anything, are you? D-Do I need to get a doctor?!”

Sans slowly began to shake his head, laughing out loud in honest to god relief and in part simply at how much they freaked out the guy. “Nah, nah, don’t worry pal, I’m all fine!” He took a deep breath, relieved this guy wasn’t an asshole. “So… You a stay at home dad, or what do ya do for a living?”

________

Sans and Dan sat down next to each other on one end of the circle, Dan insisting so as to help Sans become acquainted if need be (they had just spent the last twenty minutes or so talking and getting to know one another).

The man from the door, Henry, stood up and spoke to the almost thirty adults. “Well hello there today, welcome to this month’s PTA meeting. Today, we have someone new joining us, on account of their child only recently joining our school. Sans, would you please stand up?”

Everyone already knew who the new person was, now they just knew his name. Sans stood up, once again feeling the eyes of everyone on him, though this time with less confusion than previously. More were simply curious, some had left behind their confusion for fear, while a few tried to give warm (if awfully quiet) greetings and welcomings to him, a few still staring at him with anger and hatred.

Not knowing what exactly he was supposed to do, he gave a small wave and sat back down, making note of the few who seemed to almost want him dead (he very well knew the difference between them and the ones who wanted him dead, none of the people here thankfully).

Henry continued on, saying “Now then, I have some notes written down here for various complaints different parents have as well as various topics from the district and the the board, as well as the national PTA, so let us begin.”

Sans sat there, not sure how to handle this. Should he deal with it like when he tried to gather information (pretending to sleep but listening in the whole time)? Should he be trying to sit there and stay businesslike? A few people were wearing t shirts, would it be okay if he just lied back and roughly listened to what was going on?

He decided to sit there attentively to start, and to see where to go from there.

_____________

It was the most dreadful hour of his life.

He did his research to know what to expect, but this was boring him to death still. Spending budgets, cafeteria food, some political stuff involving guns and putting guards in schools (which, though he agreed with the concept, he didn’t trust any of these fuckers with a gun around his child), all boring garbage.

He was just lying back lazily in his chair by now. Eventually, he knew they were getting close to the end, when Henry finally said “Well, that’s a rap for today. The next meeting will be scheduled-”

“Uhm, excuse me?” A woman had interrupted, who Sans glanced over to. He recognized them as one of the ladies who seemed to hate his ribs, as well as a massive idiot based off half the garbage they spouted throughout this meeting.

He could see how Henry froze up slightly, how he held back his sigh as he said “Yes, Linda?”

Linda stood up (as people had been doing throughout the meeting), and said “I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t bring up my complaints regarding LGBT issue we’re facing?”

Sans’s shoulders stiffened, as he rolled his head over the back of his chair slightly for a bit of a better look (still just lying back lazily).

Henry nodded, obviously feigning confusing and looking through the cards he had on his clipboard. Sans could see them cycling through back to a previous card they had discussed, but he acted as though it were a new card. “Oh, yes, here it is. Linda here had quite a bit to say about LGBT expression and tolerance in our school and district, and ultimately given all they had to bring up regarding it I believe it may be best if they lead us temporarily to talk about it and what we all think on the matter.” He sat down, giving the stage to this Linda lady while clearly hoping that people would stand up to her.

Linda smiled, akin to a grinning canine Sans thought (he’d know). She said “Well, recently quite a few of our older students- mostly ages nine through thirteen- seem to be defining themselves by these ridiculous labels that keep getting created by our society and seemingly doctors as well.”

Sans was intrigued. Either it seemed they were going to comment on something important along the lines of people judging others and forcing them into roles, or say something incredibly stupid and phobic about those who fall under the LGBT spectrum.

She continued “Many students seem to be pursuing unnatural and unhealthy relationships at a young age, society seemingly fixing it into their minds that these are truly parts of their identity.”

Sans gritted his teeth and sat up, making as though to yawn but in fact fully engaged.

“Recently, I have had students saying to me that they identify as either a boy or a girl, whatever is opposite to their actual sex, as well as some students saying that they don’t identify with either, or it changes. We have had a few students coming into school wearing the most ridiculous outfits for what they are supposed to be wearing and being ridiculed by other students.”

Sans spoke up for the first time this meeting, saying “I understand I am new here, but I have not heard of such a thing from my child. They say that they find this school to be an accepting place for them with much less harassment and bullying compared to their old school. As it is I fail to see the issue unless there are students who are being targeted, though your phrasing makes it sound as though, well… It sounds like your concern is with changing those supposedly targeted rather than reprimanding those responsible for the bullying themselves.”

Linda stared at him in appalled shock that he’d speak to her, and in such a way that most members found satisfyingly articulate. “I’m sorry Mr.Skeleton-”

“Sans.”

“-but you don’t seem to understand how this school works,” she continued on. “There is no reason for the mass to conform simply for the one. I can assure that there has been issues regarding students and harassment, and it’s better for everyone that those who decide to put on these ridiculous labels simply go on as they should. I actually have a list of students who have been caught breaking school conduct and dressing in ways inappropriate for their proper-”

“Let me see.” Linda had pulled a note out of her pocket, which suddenly went flying across the room and into Sans’ hand as he interrupted her.

He began to read over the list. Dennis Hartworth, Kellum Smith, Nit Mahamud, Kaily Brentworth, Frisk Gaster, Elij-

“Why the hell is Frisk on this list?” Sans demanded, pupil glowing a fiery green as he squeezed the note in his burning fist.

Everyone stared at Sans, not only for the magic he used in snatching the list but also because of how furious he sounded. After a moment, Linda answered “Well, Frisk has been going around wearing ridiculous ensembles not appropriate for-”

Sans stood up, the page burning away in his hand. “For what? For their IDENTITY?! The one thing nobody can take away from them as hard as they try?! Or inappropriate for your fucking bigotry-”

“That is enough! That is enough for today!” Henry stared between Sans and Linda, sighing. He continued “We can continue this at another date. The board has recommended that we meet once every two weeks instead of once a month, so keep a look on the school website or visit our staff in the office for the new schedule. If some of you can not attend, that is fine. Please feel free to come speak to me if you have any concerns or questions, alright?”

The general circle nodded, content to leave things right here for now.

Sans and Linda stared at each other, Linda doing her best to stand tall to this short angry skeleton, while Sans did his best to get his temper in check and to calm down his soul and flaming eye.

As nobody said anything, Henry said “Well, I hope all of you have a great night, see you all in two weeks.”

Everybody else stood up, and most people went to grab their chair and take over to the corner of the room and pile them into a stack.

As Dan did the same, he tapped Sans on the shoulder and nodded towards his own chair, before Sans finally turned away from Linda and went to put it away himself.

Dan then said “Sans, don’t bother with Linda, she’s not worth it. Most of us disagree with her so usually any arguments go our way.”

Sans shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, that I ain’t gonna let an idiot like go and-”

“I get it I get it!” Dan interrupted. “I’m just trying to warn you, she’s a pain you don’t need or want, trust me.”

Still, even as they stacked the chairs they’d been using, they couldn’t help but think about how much they wanted to throttle them.

He saw Henry walking over to them, so he turned to face him and asked “Yo, Henry. Why did Frisk get in trouble for-”

“It’s not that, it’s not that.” Henry explained. “While indeed it has been pointed out by some people, the real issue was with the bathrooms. Some days Frisk would use the women’s washroom, while other days they’d use the men’s. It was a legal issue that a few people complained about so I had to have a discussion with them. We came to the conclusion they could choose one type of bathroom, and stick to that one as well as the unisex handicap bathrooms.”

Sans nodded, that seemed much more reasonable (though he found the concept of segregated bathrooms to be both peculiar and moronic). “Hmm, well alright then.”

Henry asked “Sans, are you planning on attending anymore PTA meetings from now on?”

Sans took a deep breath, and considered it.

It didn’t take long. “I wanna finish that argument with Linda. Hell I’m in.”

He seemed torn between a smile and a sigh of pain as he heard that answer. “Well in that case, let me write a few things down for you.”

_________

The door opened nicely, as Papyrus shouted “We are home Sans! Have you returned from your PTA meeting yet?!”

Sans looked down from the upstairs railing, and Papyrus wearing a refined red suit and tie, the peak of fashion and perfect for his scarf, as well as Frisk there as well in a pale lovely green dress and faintly purple tights, a red bow in their neatly brushed hair, both of them carrying several bags of clothes each.

He flashed them his usual wicked grin. “Hey. How was the shoppin’?”

Papyrus nodded, “It was quite good, me and Frisk found an immensely large assortment of outfits, didn’t we?”

Frisk nodded eagerly, trying to show Sans what was in one of their reusable bags from downstairs.

Sans let out a chuckle, before walking around to downstairs.

As Sans came down, Frisk reached into their bags and began pulling stuff out to show Sans. Papyrus had spoiled them with the likes of suits, dresses, skirts shorts and shoes, ribbons and ties, jeans and jogging pants, all sorts of stuff intended for both boys and girls.

Sans had his mind on the meeting, and let out a sigh. He asked “Frisk, did you get in trouble at school and not tell us?”

They took a gulp, and looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes.

Sans grumbled to himself. “Frisk, why didn’t you tell me, or Papyrus?”

Frisk began shaking, and hugging Papyrus’s leg. Papyrus leaned down, and Frisk whispered into their ear socket. Papyrus turned to Sans to say “Frisk says they did not wish to be hit.”

Sans stared at the kid, getting down on his knees and spreading his arms out wide. “Kid, I… I’d never hurt you, alright?” That was one thing he’d stand by. He’d never wanna hurt a kid, much less one he loved so much as Frisk. He had no idea where they got that idea from.

Or, at least, didn’t want to know.

Frisk looked over to them, before turning back to papyrus, unsure of what to do. Papyrus said “It’s alright Frisk. How about we discuss this later, for now we can put away and sort you outfits, alright?”

Frisk nodded, turning to Sans and saying “S-... Sorry…”

Sans sighed. He couldn’t be upset at the kid even if he wanted to (which he didn’t). “It’s good kid, don’t worry. Just be sure to tell us and we’ll understand, alright?”

Frisk nodded, a smile creeping back onto their face,

Papyrus excitedly said “Now then Frisk! Let us go and sort out all these outfits in your room, shall we?!”

Frisk nodded excitedly, happy to move past what just happened. They grabbed their bags, and followed behind Papyrus as he led the charge to Frisk’s room first.

Sans sighed as he watched them go off. He wanted to figure Frisk out, he wanted to know what the kid had needed to go through before falling down.

Still, now wasn’t the time. Now was the time to learn about baking.

Next week, he was going to wreck Linda at that bakesale planned.

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