#ranntics

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Also apparently my fucking MANAGER and assistant manager have been going behind my back (their favorite thing) and telling all of my parents that their kids are terribly behaved and have social/emotional issues and never listen and throw things at other kids, etc.

And it's like. Yeah, they do ignore me or outright tell me no when I tell them to do things. If they complied every time I asked them to do something I would report their family to CPS. And they throw toys or have emotional outbursts bc they're 2 years old and not good at talking yet. I think they're just so used to the preschool (3-5 year old) classrooms and my kids look to be almost the same size, so they treat them like they're the same age. But a 4-year-old is twice the age of a kid in my classroom, so of course they're going to act differently. Jesus.

#ranntics #I've been doing parent-teacher conferences for the past two weeks #and all of the parents have been telling me my mangaer told them their kid has major issues #and every time I've been like ''....no? Just a normal 2-year-old'' #why can't they talk to me about anything before going to the parents..... why can't they talk to me about anything period.

[crunchkind]

I’m gonna give you guys my head cannons

We have a lot of gays ok

I’m just gonna start off with Kou cause we got a lot of lgbtq going on pretty self explanatory but I’ll explain some of the flags

Kouha has the cupidromantic flag wich basically means they don’t feel romantic attraction but they want it

Then we got kouen we got Quoiromantic gosh wich means they don’t understand romance so there not sure if they experience romantic attraction or not

A lot of this is projecting my lack of ranntic attraction into charachters

I feel like Sinbad no matter what you identify with or how you look would love anyone as long as they have been with him for awhile and he has feeling for them

idc if drakon has a wife and jafar is aroace cause I don’t think he wants or needs or feels any romantic or sexual attraction but would have a relationship with a man just in a more of a comfort way you now

Mystras being trans cause I said so

We got my beloveds ok and yes I think alibabas trans cause why not he probably uses neos man and I believe alibaba has had a crush on everyone at least once that he finds pretty or amazing or admired

Hakaryuu probably spelt that wrong has Quaromantic wich BASICALLY fills the romantic wholes like of not feeling it into closeness so like it’s in the middle of romantic and platonic feeling ya now

I couldn’t fit them all but Morganas bisexual and sphintus and titus are both mlm but titus is a demiboy and then muu is demi sexual and mlm and myron is pan

Hinahohos an ally!!

And I think that’s it

#judar magi #judal magi #magi #magi the labyrinth of magic #magi labyrinth of magic #drakon x sinbad #sinbad drakon #mystras x sinbad #mystras leoxses #jafar #alibaba x hakuryuu #alibaba saluja #alibaba(magi) #hakuryuu #ren koumei #magi kouen #kouen #lgbtq #headcanon #kou family #kassim #sphintus carmen #sindria #there gay #the gays are invading #gay #there silly

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

:T

#ranntics #eye-opening realization that many many many people arguing about feminism on tumblr have never taken a gender studies class. #like they just learned about feminism through tumblr and never did any reading or research into feminist theory. at all. #I'm not saying that like. everyone has to do that or they're not really a feminist. I learned about feminism through tumblr initially #but there are like. actual self-proclaimed authorities on feminism picking fights in comments sections who have never read theory #or even. any info other than what they're getting through tumblr. #this isn't even me saying these people are dumb this is me realizing that I have a plaque on my wall that says I know more than those people

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

My feelings about the staff meeting were 100% spot-on, and it turns out that the staff meeting was, in fact, about ME!!!

#ranntics #a 15 minute bitchfest about how ''people have been calling out when they don't have enough sick time to cover their missed days'' i.e. ME #then a 10 minute vent about how some teachers will bleach toys and set them out to dry and then leave them over the weekend #and then call out sick so the poor assistant manager who was subbing in the room had to put them all away 😭 which was so stressful for her #I know the first part was about me bc after the meeting my CA approached the manager and apologized for being out (her kids have been sick) #and the manager said ''it wasn't about you it was about LeeAnn calling out for the hell of it 🙄'' #I HAD COVID AND FLU SYMPTOMS. FUCKING SHOOT ME. #apparently her issue is that I text her ''I am feeling unwell and will not be in tomorrow'' instead of a list of symptoms #so she thinks I'm lying #.....but like. if I'm lying it is just as easy to type ''vomiting all night sorry can't come in'' #to me sending her a list of symptoms and just saying ''feeling unwell''are the same thing. if she had an issue she could have told me #instead of wasting the valuable time of 20+ other people to vent about it to a group. #oh and the bit about toys being left out was too specific to be about anyone else bc I'm the only person who cleans their goddamn toys #and mine was the only classroom she had subbed in this week #they had both of these talking points typed out and printed on an agenda that they passed out to everyone in the meeting. #y'all both have offices. we could have talked in there. #they don't like confrontation so they hold an ENTIRE MEETING WITH EVERYONE JUST TO TALK SHIT ABOUT ME?? LADIES.

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I wish it wasn't so difficult to maintain friendships. I miss having a lot of friends.

#ranntics #these days I usually don't talk to anyone but my girlfriend #and my coworkers. but they're not my friends. there isn't anyone at work I would hang out with outside of work. #I have a few groupchats with college friends but I'm not really active in them. #friendships over text messages are so hard. but I also don't like leaving my apartment. #and I live so far away from my closest friends. and a lot of them live in major cities that I don't like driving in. #I sometimes wish I was able to message my tumblr mutuals instead of just interacting with posts and making posts to be interacted with #but honestly I have been awful at it the times I've tried. I just can't hold conversations with people anymore #idk. I feel like I'm losing the person I used to be #I used to be. idk. funny and charming and popular and cute. now I'm just. miserable. #I guess I was miserable back then too. but at least people thought I was funny

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

So stressed about my sick leave situation rn. I might have to take tomorrow off bc I am only feeling worse as the day goes on. But bc I had covid a while back I have basically no sick leave. So I'll have to use some vacation time. Which sucks more bc I usually reserve that for covering part of the school breaks since I don't get paid for those.

#ranntics #I have 2 weeks off at the end of december #I'll get paid for the holidays obviously but still that's a lotta unpaid days

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

My current "coteacher" (using the term sooo loosely here) consistently comes in at 7:30. Dropoff starts at 7:30. She walks in with the kids, if not several minutes after them. I've said something about it to her before and she just said, "Huh, that's sooo weird. The manager said I had to come in at 7:30 when I started." Like yeah girl, when you were working in the classrooms that opened at 7:45. In the infant and toddler rooms (that's us!) you have to be in at 7:00. But she still comes in at 7:30.

And she doesn't help me clean in the afternoons bc she's too busy leaving 10 minutes early. Every day.

#ranntics #my whole body is sore from working #I have to be on my feet all day bc all she does is sit on her ass and tell the kids to leave her alone #girl!!! get a different job!!!

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I am really bad at texting bc the pressure to respond spikes my anxiety an insane amount, and I feel reluctant to respond bc I dread receiving another text that I will have to respond to.... so, you know, I don't really like it.

There are some people (my mom, my sisters, my gf) who understand that I may suddenly drop off a text conversation and not pick back up, or I may not respond to a message at all, and because I know they understand it, I don't feel as anxious and I can handle texting them with no problem.

But with other people, it can be incredibly stressful to converse over text, especially with topics that I consider high-pressure (being asked for advice is a big one).

I have a friend from college who recently got back in touch with me, and we had a couple of conversations over text, which was hard but I was glad to hear from him so I tried. But then he messages me out of the blue asking for advice for something I did not have any advice to give on. Then sent me a message asking if I wanted to hang out sometime right after my car was totaled. Then sent a message that would have been easy to answer except that it was preceded by the other two, and if I responded to that one there was a risk of circling back to one of the former questions that were much harder to respond to.

So I've been ignoring him bc as much as I care and want to chat with him, the anxiety I feel around responding is too immense for me to even think of a response (the last message is from like 3 weeks ago).

And now another friend has messaged me saying that the first friend told her that I wasn't responding and she just wanted to check on me, and I ignored it, and then she sent me a few unrelated messages, which I ignored, and THEN she sent a message that just said "hi" so I sent a "hi" back, and she responded, "did you see my messages about x??"

I GET THAT HIS FEELINGS ARE HURT AND THAT THEY'RE PROBABLY CONCERNED, AND I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR NOT REPLYING. BUT THE THOUGHT OF DOING THAT MAKES ME WANT TO DISSOLVE MYSELF IN ACID.

And THEN, the second friend messaged me and asked if I could help her with something for school. She's in grad school and every friend I have who has been in grad school has asked me to fill out a survey they made for a class they're taking or whatever, so I agreed to help out bc a survey takes like 5 minutes, is usually anonymous, and does not require a back-and-forth exchange.

Anyway, she needed help writing and editing a 15-20 page capstone paper on a subject I have absolutely no info on. I don't really even know what else to say. I told her I'd try to help, I read the first three pages, skimmed the rest of what she had, told her it looked fine, and haven't spoken to her since. I feel bad bc I told her I would help, but christ. CHRIST. Can you really just ask someone to do that? I had just gotten off from work dealing with two-year-old children, had been vomited on, had been on my feet all day, and came home to unwittingly agree to do something that I did not want to do, and was mentally unable to handle.

I can't tell if I'm being a shitty friend, or if maybe they're being shitty friends, or if maybe all of us are making bad attempts to maintain a connection over distance but. Whatever. I'm not replying to either of them until I can do so without feeling miserable about it.

#ranntics #just a little of my drama #I feel like I might be a bad person. sometimes.

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

My gf's dad will occasionally (like once a month or less) drop by unannounced, sometimes to drop off mail, sometimes just to say hello bc he was in the area. And like. Am I insane? That's like. Really rude, right? If you know you're going to be coming by, text or call in advance so we know you're coming. He came by just now while I was eating lunch in my pajamas. By the time I put clothes on, he had left. SORRY? IF YOU HAD LET ME KNOW YOU WERE COMING. I MAY HAVE BEEN PREPARED. I MAY HAVE OPENED THE DOOR AND TALKED TO YOU.

And now I'm anxious and wearing clothes and my food is cold. Jesus christ.

#ranntics #I feel bad bc I know my gf's dad is really important to her and I tried in the beginning to have a good relationship with him #but I don't want to put the work in for a relationship with someone who is so unfathomably rude #I'm not even saying he can't come here!! I'm just saying he can't swing by unannounced!! #I won't even go to my mom's house without telling her I'm coming. if I want to surprise her I show up at her church. #bc that's rude right? right??

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Work drama: my coteacher and I are going to be in separate classrooms next year, and the coteacher pitched a fucking FIT over the possibility that one particular child (E) would not be in her classroom, so the center manager promised that the child would be in her class. However, when E's dad came to pick her up today, he told me that he and his husband wanted E to be in MY classroom, bc my coteacher is insanely homophobic and also just kind of a shit teacher. Apparently they're trying to appeal to the center manager about it, and I hope 2 god they get her moved. Also, the coteacher's classroom is a birth-15 months room and mine is a 15-36 months room, and E will be 16 months when the new school year starts. Why are we even having this conversation.

#ranntics #idk I think that what the family wants is significantly more important than an emotionally immature 65 year old's feelings. #it's not your FUCKING BABY

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

When you are (like me) a person who doesn't generally like to talk a whole lot, surrounding yourself with people who really enjoy talking is really nice until. You actually want to talk.

#ranntics #I feel like every time I call a friend to catch up we spend like 2 hours talking #and in the end I know every single thing that happened in their lives in the past two weeks #and they still don't know what I do for a living #it's not even that I struggle to speak up they literally just don't pause long enough for me to say anything #they don't do it on purpose. they're just used to me not talking much most of the time #but. still. you know.

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I feel like I'm running out of time. I don't feel like I've done anything to be proud of in my entire life, and I really don't know if doing something like that is even possible for me

#ranntics #on my birthday my mom made a post that was like ''so proud of you and all of your accomplishments'' and I just stared at it #bc like. what accomplishments. I haven't done anything. #I'm lazy and slow and complacent #I haven't done one thing to be happy about or proud of #I do not accomplish I do not achieve I sit in my bedroom and think about doing things instead of doing them #I'm not proud of myself and I'm not happy and I'm not doing anything about it

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Might be worthless for real

#ranntics

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Straight up want to be dead bc I don't want to go to work anymore. My coteacher is being a huge asshole to me and it is making both of our jobs harder. I should talk to a supervisor about it, but I don't even know how to talk about it. I feel like shit. I don't want to have another panic attack before work tomorrow, but idk what I can do about it if I do.

#ranntics #I kept crying during school and I had to play it off bc I don't want the kids to think I'm crying bc of them #(they've been acting up lately bc of the Bad Atmosphere from two teachers who do not work well together) #I have hated every job I've had before this one but I've never dreaded going in every day like this. #and I love this job! I just hate the person I work with #I get along with literally everyone else

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

NOT MY BROTHER CALLING MY RELATIONSHIP UNHEALTHY.....

#MARRIED TO A WOMAN WHO SUDDENLY DECIDED TO DATE MEN AFTER I REJECTED HER IN COLLEGE..... MIND THE GLASS HOUSE BABY BOY #lmao ''leeann never calls mom anymore.... her girlfriend is controlling her...!!'' I didn't call mom before I had a girlfriend either #I am being abused by my own mind problems my gf is the one who tells me to call my mom more #WHOOPS THAT'S A #ranntics #ACTUALLY

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

.....

#ranntics #my best friend from college has messaged me twice in the past few days and both of the messages seem innocuous #but I'm hesitant to respond or even answer bc in the past this just lead to her monologuing to me about miniscule dramas in her life #which I would not mind AT ALL if that wasn't the only kind of conversation I ever get with her anymore #like. I get it. when life sucks it's nice to just spill your guts about it to someone #I do it on here! all the time! I rant to my girlfriend about stuff! I call my mom! #but I don't reach out to people who I'm not conversing with regularly to talk at length about coworker drama #and then go silent until I need to vent again #it just feels so shitty! at least when we were in college she talked to me about other things #and who knows. maybe she does just want to talk to me about the book she's reading or a random memory from school #but I'm waiting to respond until I have the appropriate energy to handle. whatever might follow it.