#real time data processing

[mohammed44c]

Edge Computing, Real-Time Data Processing, and Intelligent Automation

In the dynamic landscape of the power industry, staying ahead of the curve requires a fusion of cutting-edge technologies and strategic operations. With over four years of experience in the field, our journey has been marked by innovation, efficiency, and resilience. In this article, we explore how the convergence of edge computing, real-time data processing, predictive fault diagnosis, and intelligent automation is revolutionizing the energy sector.

Edge Computing: A Powerhouse at the Edge

Edge computing is the bedrock upon which modern utility IT operations are built. By processing data closer to the source, we've reduced latency and increased responsiveness. This real-time capability has enabled us to make critical decisions swiftly, optimizing grid operations and minimizing downtime. The result? A more reliable and efficient energy distribution system.

Real-Time Data Processing: Harnessing the Flow

The ability to handle vast volumes of real-time data has unlocked new possibilities for the power industry. We've implemented advanced data analytics to monitor and control grid assets proactively. Predictive fault diagnosis and anomaly detection algorithms have become our allies in preventing potential failures, thus averting costly disruptions.

Predictive Fault Diagnosis: Proactive Maintenance

Predictive fault diagnosis is a game-changer in the energy industry. By leveraging historical data and machine learning models, we've gained the capability to predict equipment failures before they occur. This predictive maintenance approach has not only extended the lifespan of critical assets but has also significantly reduced operational costs.

Robotic Process Automation (RPA): Streamlining Operations

RPA has automated routine tasks, freeing up human resources for more complex problem-solving. In the power sector, this has led to improved efficiency in billing, customer service, and administrative functions. It's allowed us to allocate resources strategically and ensure a seamless experience for customers.

Intelligent Automation (IA): Powering the Future

Intelligent Automation (IA) goes beyond RPA, integrating AI and machine learning to make autonomous decisions. IA systems continuously learn from data, optimizing grid operations in real-time. It's a crucial component in our journey toward a smart grid, where energy generation, distribution, and consumption are finely tuned to meet demand efficiently.

In conclusion, the synergy of edge computing, real-time data processing, predictive fault diagnosis, RPA, and IA has transformed the power industry. We are no longer just energy providers; we are orchestrators of a reliable, efficient, and sustainable energy ecosystem. As we look to the future, our commitment to innovation remains unwavering, ensuring that the lights stay on and the power flows seamlessly for generations to come.

#edge computing #real time data processing

[theygender]

I may be considering the crime of... Getting a business degree 🤢

#i Like my new job where i get to play in excel all day and i also like having financial security for the first time in my adult life #i was originally thinking about switching my major to sociology bc its another area that im interested in #but my mom may have talked me into considering a business degree as an option since sociology isnt a great fallback option... #the thought of majoring in business makes me gag tbh. but i mean... i DO like data analysis and there IS a masters for data analysis #and the bachelors degree in information systems would teach me new things about computers which might be cool #and they have an international business program that links in advanced study of foreign languages and cultures #and theres even a certificate program for sustainability that includes direct work with grassroots programs #AND all of this is intentionally made to be accessible to people who are already in the work field so i wouldnt need to quit my job... #...all of this plus a sociology minor (or double major if i can pull it off) is starting to look pretty good actually #BUT... can i withstand the pain of spending the next few years in classrooms full of business majors 🤔 #real talk tho i was wanting to use my social work degree to go into policy anyways which could mean government OR corporate #...if i get a business major i could potentially speedrun the process of getting into corporate policy to make a difference that way #and my sociology minor (or major) would still support that #fuckin. trojan horse the companies i guess #i am rotating the idea in my mind with the emotional state of that gif of someone trying kombucha for the first time #rambling

[atozofsoftwareengineering]

Harnessing Amazon Kinesis in Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence

Dive into the world of real-time AI and ML with Amazon Kinesis – harnessing data's power in motion. #AI #ML #AmazonKinesis #RealTimeAnalytics

The field of Machine Learning (ML) and Artificial Intelligence (AI) is progressing at an astonishing pace, driven by the availability of vast amounts of data. This abundance of data serves as the fuel for training and refining models, propelling the advancements in this exciting domain. Amazon Web Services (AWS) has played a pivotal role in this ecosystem, offering a wide range of services and…

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#Alerts #Amazon Kinesis #anomaly detection #artificial intelligence #Cost Management #data analytics #data ingestion #data quality #data transformation #fraud detection #IoT #machine learning #monitoring #natural language processing #Personalization #predictive maintenance #real-time data processing #Real-time Predictions #scalability #Security #Streaming Data

[tiarnanabhfainni]

.

#sorry i do find the current fic being fed into ai thing is getting a bit overblown sorry #like i understand why people are uncomfortable #qnd i would prefer that we all get a bit more control over our online data and how it stored and processed #and there probably should be some talk about consenting to having your writing used or whatever #but it's getting a bit moral panicky now ngl #like i really dont think this is the great issue of our time #also im 90% sure that chatGPT doesn't learn from conversations/submissions #at least not in a straightforward way #it's relying on its own old database not what you give it #anyway my real issue with ai is the issue of content moderation and the exploitation of moderators #which is an issue that goes far beyond just ai and is inherent to all social media #i would much rather scroll through endless posts about that issue than fearmongering abt random teenagers #who use ai to write boring bad endings for fics they like #as if chatGPT will produce anything worth reading anyway

[roseverdict]

when you think so hard about an au idea that's even further from canon than your usual au faves and get the Wonderful Idea to make it become its own story idea.

so

idk maybe i'll fixate on that at some point

#rosie babbles #sticks #but only like. tangentially at this point #basically my thought process was 'wow i wish i knew how to write the sticks becoming real life without tripping my brain's hardwired #'SHOW THIS TO NO ONE FOR (while they will be wrong) THEY WILL CONSIDER IT CRINGE AND THAT WOULD JUST BE A HEADACHE ALL AROUND' #switch. closest i think i can get is 'alan needs to bring the sticks' data somewhere' and i cant think of a reason rn' #which then adhd pogosticked in under .2 seconds flat into 'ai creator is separated from ai children during apocalypse and they must reunite #while also maybe stopping the apocalypse' #i blame the fact that dad had the resident evil movies on and the scenes showing at the time included the red queen #anyway. ough.

[stridelysolutions]

#SAP BWHANA #sap bw #streaming process chain #SAP DWC #real-time #realtime reporting #analytics #data warehousing #data warehouse cloud #sap services #SAP Service Provider #sap solutions #tech solutions

[powersafeautomation]

The Role of Advanced Inspection and Measurement Systems in Industrial Operations

In the realm of industrial operations, precision and safety are paramount. Inspection and measurement systems form the backbone of quality control, ensuring that products meet stringent standards and that processes adhere to the highest safety norms. Among these systems, vision systems, automated light curtains, and muting photocells are critical components that enhance efficiency and…

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#Automated Testing #Inspections and measurement systems #Real-time data collection #Vision systems #warehouse processes #warehouse safety

[3forge]

#Complex Event Processing #Data Integration Solution #Real-time workflows

[govindhtech]

Tech Breakdown: What Is a SuperNIC? Get the Inside Scoop!

The most recent development in the rapidly evolving digital realm is generative AI. A relatively new phrase, SuperNIC, is one of the revolutionary inventions that makes it feasible.

Describe a SuperNIC

On order to accelerate hyperscale AI workloads on Ethernet-based clouds, a new family of network accelerators called SuperNIC was created. With remote direct memory access (RDMA) over converged Ethernet (RoCE) technology, it offers extremely rapid network connectivity for GPU-to-GPU communication, with throughputs of up to 400Gb/s.

SuperNICs incorporate the following special qualities:

Ensuring that data packets are received and processed in the same sequence as they were originally delivered through high-speed packet reordering. This keeps the data flow’s sequential integrity intact.

In order to regulate and prevent congestion in AI networks, advanced congestion management uses network-aware algorithms and real-time telemetry data.

In AI cloud data centers, programmable computation on the input/output (I/O) channel facilitates network architecture adaptation and extension.

Low-profile, power-efficient architecture that effectively handles AI workloads under power-constrained budgets.

Optimization for full-stack AI, encompassing system software, communication libraries, application frameworks, networking, computing, and storage.

Recently, NVIDIA revealed the first SuperNIC in the world designed specifically for AI computing, built on the BlueField-3 networking architecture. It is a component of the NVIDIA Spectrum-X platform, which allows for smooth integration with the Ethernet switch system Spectrum-4.

The NVIDIA Spectrum-4 switch system and BlueField-3 SuperNIC work together to provide an accelerated computing fabric that is optimized for AI applications. Spectrum-X outperforms conventional Ethernet settings by continuously delivering high levels of network efficiency.

Yael Shenhav, vice president of DPU and NIC products at NVIDIA, stated, “In a world where AI is driving the next wave of technological innovation, the BlueField-3 SuperNIC is a vital cog in the machinery.” “SuperNICs are essential components for enabling the future of AI computing because they guarantee that your AI workloads are executed with efficiency and speed.”

The Changing Environment of Networking and AI

Large language models and generative AI are causing a seismic change in the area of artificial intelligence. These potent technologies have opened up new avenues and made it possible for computers to perform new functions.

GPU-accelerated computing plays a critical role in the development of AI by processing massive amounts of data, training huge AI models, and enabling real-time inference. While this increased computing capacity has created opportunities, Ethernet cloud networks have also been put to the test.

The internet’s foundational technology, traditional Ethernet, was designed to link loosely connected applications and provide wide compatibility. The complex computational requirements of contemporary AI workloads, which include quickly transferring large amounts of data, closely linked parallel processing, and unusual communication patterns all of which call for optimal network connectivity were not intended for it.

Basic network interface cards (NICs) were created with interoperability, universal data transfer, and general-purpose computing in mind. They were never intended to handle the special difficulties brought on by the high processing demands of AI applications.

The necessary characteristics and capabilities for effective data transmission, low latency, and the predictable performance required for AI activities are absent from standard NICs. In contrast, SuperNICs are designed specifically for contemporary AI workloads.

Benefits of SuperNICs in AI Computing Environments

Data processing units (DPUs) are capable of high throughput, low latency network connectivity, and many other sophisticated characteristics. DPUs have become more and more common in the field of cloud computing since its launch in 2020, mostly because of their ability to separate, speed up, and offload computation from data center hardware.

SuperNICs and DPUs both have many characteristics and functions in common, however SuperNICs are specially designed to speed up networks for artificial intelligence.

The performance of distributed AI training and inference communication flows is highly dependent on the availability of network capacity. Known for their elegant designs, SuperNICs scale better than DPUs and may provide an astounding 400Gb/s of network bandwidth per GPU.

When GPUs and SuperNICs are matched 1:1 in a system, AI workload efficiency may be greatly increased, resulting in higher productivity and better business outcomes.

SuperNICs are only intended to speed up networking for cloud computing with artificial intelligence. As a result, it uses less processing power than a DPU, which needs a lot of processing power to offload programs from a host CPU.

Less power usage results from the decreased computation needs, which is especially important in systems with up to eight SuperNICs.

One of the SuperNIC’s other unique selling points is its specialized AI networking capabilities. It provides optimal congestion control, adaptive routing, and out-of-order packet handling when tightly connected with an AI-optimized NVIDIA Spectrum-4 switch. Ethernet AI cloud settings are accelerated by these cutting-edge technologies.

Transforming cloud computing with AI

The NVIDIA BlueField-3 SuperNIC is essential for AI-ready infrastructure because of its many advantages.

Maximum efficiency for AI workloads: The BlueField-3 SuperNIC is perfect for AI workloads since it was designed specifically for network-intensive, massively parallel computing. It guarantees bottleneck-free, efficient operation of AI activities.

Performance that is consistent and predictable: The BlueField-3 SuperNIC makes sure that each job and tenant in multi-tenant data centers, where many jobs are executed concurrently, is isolated, predictable, and unaffected by other network operations.

Secure multi-tenant cloud infrastructure: Data centers that handle sensitive data place a high premium on security. High security levels are maintained by the BlueField-3 SuperNIC, allowing different tenants to cohabit with separate data and processing.

Broad network infrastructure: The BlueField-3 SuperNIC is very versatile and can be easily adjusted to meet a wide range of different network infrastructure requirements.

Wide compatibility with server manufacturers: The BlueField-3 SuperNIC integrates easily with the majority of enterprise-class servers without using an excessive amount of power in data centers.

#Describe a SuperNIC #On order to accelerate hyperscale AI workloads on Ethernet-based clouds #a new family of network accelerators called SuperNIC was created. With remote direct memory access (RDMA) over converged Ethernet (RoCE) te #it offers extremely rapid network connectivity for GPU-to-GPU communication #with throughputs of up to 400Gb/s. #SuperNICs incorporate the following special qualities: #Ensuring that data packets are received and processed in the same sequence as they were originally delivered through high-speed packet reor #In order to regulate and prevent congestion in AI networks #advanced congestion management uses network-aware algorithms and real-time telemetry data. #In AI cloud data centers #programmable computation on the input/output (I/O) channel facilitates network architecture adaptation and extension. #Low-profile #power-efficient architecture that effectively handles AI workloads under power-constrained budgets. #Optimization for full-stack AI #encompassing system software #communication libraries #application frameworks #networking #computing #and storage. #Recently #NVIDIA revealed the first SuperNIC in the world designed specifically for AI computing #built on the BlueField-3 networking architecture. It is a component of the NVIDIA Spectrum-X platform #which allows for smooth integration with the Ethernet switch system Spectrum-4. #The NVIDIA Spectrum-4 switch system and BlueField-3 SuperNIC work together to provide an accelerated computing fabric that is optimized for #Yael Shenhav #vice president of DPU and NIC products at NVIDIA #stated #“In a world where AI is driving the next wave of technological innovation #the BlueField-3 SuperNIC is a vital cog in the machinery.” “SuperNICs are essential components for enabling the future of AI computing beca

[malewifesband]

EDIT: if this post has made you think about whether or not you are autistic, im really glad! i hope you get some better understanding of yourself and are able to find community and support

however before you go and tell a therapist and seek an official diagnosis please read this thread and consider the points made therein:

autism is highly stigmatized. be fully informed about what you gain and what you lose from having an official diagnosis before seeking one.

EDIT OVER ENJOY THE POST

people do correctly identify that laios is autistic fairly often but a lot of the reasoning begins and ends with his special interest and social difficulties, but honestly it goes far deeper into the build of his character than just those two things

his pain tolerance is wildly inconsistent, unable to tolerate a drop of hot oil (or any heat) but able to shrug off both his leg being bitten off and it being reattached

hes sensory seeking in the extreme. he rubs the bat bones against his face, pets and fluffs the shapeshifter tail.

his desire to eat monsters comes from three very autistic places. 1) the rules for why monsters are not okay to eat but animals are are arbitrary to him so he cannot follow them easily: he cannot understand the 'feelings' argument others make. 2) this too is a sensory seeking behavior. he wants to experience these new things, new flavors and new textures. 3) it completes his knowledge of the monster in question to also have data on its edibility. because he cannot draw that arbitrary line around all monsters, he wants to evaluate them case-by-case and see if real patterns emerge. butchering and eating the monsters improves his knowledge of them greatly and highlights their importance in their ecosystem, as well as making him a part of that same ecosystem

he cannot emote the way others expect him to. he compartmentalizes his feelings (to an unhealthy degree) because he needs a pragmatic solution. so as long as there is a problem to solve, that matters far more than evaluating his emotions and allowing himself to experience them. while this is also a coping mechanism for ptsd, it is a trait found in many autistic people regardless of trauma, as we have trouble sorting the feelings we have and often need time to think about what we feel, so it becomes easier to simply not do it and pretend we dont need to. laios emotions certainly affect him, with or without his processing them, but others do not see what they expect to see and thus dismiss that he is feeling what they would feel

he is incredibly gifted with pattern recognition, observation, and analysis within realms he understands. to understand subjects that dont come easily to him, he must filter them through his established schema (his special interest--this is why they are so special! they help us sort the world). when he isnt sure about the social cues and details hes observed in the shapeshifter arc, he filters it through the lens he understands best: monsters. he was making correct observations about his friends all along, but he could not be confident in that the way he was about their behavior when it came to his interest (chilchucks caution, senshis passions, and marcilles carelessness)

#laios touden #dungeon meshi #i can go on but ive kept this spoiler free for the anime onlies

[kirantech]

AEM Integration with Palantir Foundry

Discover the benefits of integrating Palantir Foundry with Adobe Experience Manager (AEM) and how it empowers data-driven decision-making, personalization, and content optimization

Problem Statement: What advantages does the integration of Palantir Foundry with AEM bring, and how can this fusion be achieved effectively? Introduction: Palantir Foundry, developed by Palantir Technologies, is a potent data integration and analytics platform. It caters to organizations dealing with vast and intricate datasets, facilitating data-driven decision-making. While it is primarily…

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#AEM Integration #Analytics #Data Integration #Data Processing #Palantir Foundry #Real-Time Recommendations #User Engagement

[atozofsoftwareengineering]

Unleashing the Power of AWS Lambda: Features, Benefits, and Practical Examples

Hey friends, check out this informative blog on the power of AWS Lambda! 🚀 Learn about its event-driven architecture, automatic scaling, and practical examples. #AWSLambda #ServerlessComputing #CloudComputing #ApplicationDevelopment

Introduction In today’s digital era, scalability, flexibility, and cost-effectiveness are paramount for businesses to thrive. AWS Lambda, a serverless compute service provided by Amazon Web Services (AWS), has emerged as a game-changer in the world of cloud computing. In this comprehensive blog, we will delve deep into AWS Lambda’s features, explore its numerous benefits, and provide practical…

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#amazon web services #Application development #automatic scaling #AWS Lambda #chatbots #cost-effective #event-driven architecture #flexible applications #image processing #infrastructure management #operational overhead #programming languages #real-time data analysis #scalable applications #scheduled tasks #server management #serverless compute service #time to market

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

#actually autistic #chuck tingle #tingleverse #buckaroo lifestyle

[qicon]

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[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book.... #coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book” #i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

[cherryredstars]

Ok so i have this fic idea where reader and mig are from different universes and reader is a scientist and one time mig and her get drunk and start talking about the multiverse and suddenly they are on the topic of what would happen if people from different universes had a baby together. (You see where i am going with this...) they end up drunkenly fucking and saying it's for "research" because they can't admit to themselves that they are in love. If this request is too complicated feel free to ignore. Thank you in advance cherry!! I hope u have a marvelous new year!! 💕

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Penetrative Sex, Mentions of Oral Sex, Mentions of Animal Testing (for science), Breeding Kink

A/N: Thank you, love! I hope you're well!!!

You know there is a process.

And you know this isn't it.

There are supposed to be hypotheses and written out procedures. Dependent and independent variables, a control group. Fucking hell, you should be experimenting on fucking mice. You should be limiting the margins of error, should be going with the most direct, straightforward pursuit for results.

And yet...

You don't stop Miguel when he pushes you back onto the couch. You don't pause or even really think when he's pushing your pants down your legs, placing kisses along the skin as he goes. You lift your hips to aid him when his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties, shivering when his warm breath fans over your exposed sex. If this experiment was in any sense proper, you would get straight into it. Cut out all the unneeded steps. But you can't help but pull his head closer to your aching core, craving the way his warm tongue laps at you. If you weren't already drunk, you would be drunk on this feeling alone.

But god, nothing has even been more satisfying than doing the work. You know the data would be void in a real experiment. The trials bleeding into each other hardly make for adequate data, but the way you beg him for more is involuntary. It feels too good, to have him desperately thrusting into you. It makes your mind numb, and everything you know about your life's passion is erased. The only thing that fills your head is the words Miguel grunts into you ears, promises of fucking a baby into you. Vows to make you bloated with load after load of his cum. That all it'll take is one of his orgasms to make it happen.

You guess that is a hypothesis in itself: Miguel O'Hara can get you pregnant with just one orgasm.

Too bad he's too desperate to find out if that hypothesis is correct. Because he doesn't stop at one. No, he keeps going. One after the other with no breaks in-between. But you guess that's to be expected, he is a man of science himself. A passionate one at that.

He's almost crazed in the way he overstimulates himself. Sweat beading in his hairline as he grunts down at you, watching the way he creamy cock slides in and out of your abused pussy. You've lost count of how many times you've come alone, but you know based on the way your body shivers and jolts that it's far more than you've ever had before. It's almost painful now, the way your next orgasm rips through you and shatters your soul again. You let out strangled breaths as you fight through the aftershocks and the continued pleasure of Miguel's cock slamming against your cervix. You swear you black out before he finally stops, your eyes and mind groggy as he pulls your hips flush against his as he spills into you.

You can feel him trying to push deeper into you as he pants ruggedly, his cock twitching against your walls until he's milked dry. Even when he's done filling you, he stays connected. He collapses onto you, breathing in the linger smell of sweat and sex on your skin.

"Got to make sure it takes."

Well, does the process really matter if you get the desired result anyway?

Part 2 Part 3

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