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spockandawe · 3 years

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Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting.

Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.

I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.

So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!

Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.

Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.

At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’

Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?

Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.

I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)

Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned.

Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.

When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)

Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.

You may see where I’m heading with this.

Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.

And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.

Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.

(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)

(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)

And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.

It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.

And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #the untamed #disk horse #long post/#abuse/#only tangentially #but better safe than sorry i hope

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jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav · 3 years

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so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)

#obey me #tma #cursed tma x om crossover #obey me headcanons #tma the entities #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor

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mimibtsghost7 · 3 years

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Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost.

funny enough:

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life.

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol).

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well .. guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me?

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right:

Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me:

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first.

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony.

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them? You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that?

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner.

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever.

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it: a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left. As for me @hobisbeautifulass you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

#Anonymous #hobisbeautifulass #don't mind the typos as I wrote this in one go #just because I am someone who do not punch back when someone hit me do not mean I will stand nicely when you touch my people #anyway~ bye~#mimibtsghost

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recurring-polynya · 2 years

Text

Writing/Art Update 1/28/2022

I don’t know if the pandemic has degraded my brain super-bad, or if I used to just operate with super-human efficiency, but I have no idea how I used to be so productive and now, I’m...not.

Anyway, for the umpteenth week in a row, my Ask box is still full and so is my ao3 inbox. I generally try to maintain the policy of getting down to Inbox 0 (or some reasonable equivalent) before posting new chapters, so I guess I’ll probably be working on that this weekend. I guess in some ways I just haven’t been feeling very social. I don’t mind chatting in DMs or whatever, but doing my Correspondence and Writing My Little Essays on the Internet just seem so daunting right now. Oh, and I started a book last week while I had to take a car trip and I loved it and it was so funny and I haven’t picked it up again since. :/

There are two pieces of good news! One is that I finished that big art project I’ve been talking about, so go check out the Captain Rukia Photobook I made, I’m pretty proud of it.

Also, the outline is still in pretty rough shape, but I got tired of planning, and I worked a lot on Chapter 4 of my Tattoo Artist AU fanfic. I guess I wrote about 2861 words this week, which isn’t great, but I spent a lot of the week Thinking About Things, so that doesn’t really represent a whole week of work. The reason I classify this as good news is that I’m actually rather enjoying writing it?? It’s probably because it’s at the beginning of the project and nothing is really obligated to hold together, and also, the vast majority of this is just Rukia and Renji Having Chemistry, which is really all I ever want to write, anyway.

The current running total wordcount is 10,330, which does not bode well for my intention of keeping it on the shorter side.

Writing a real-world AU is so hard and I do not think I am very good at it!! It takes place in a city that should probably be in California, but I can’t write about something taking place in California, so it’s a lot more like Baltimore. I never have anyone refer to the city by name to the degree that it’s getting very awkward, so it might just have to be the Seireitei after (or Seireitei City??) I just keep throwing in characters for no reason and there is so much exposition. Sometimes, something about someone’s AU backstory will rankle to me because it feels *incorrect* in accordance with the characters actual backstory and then I’ll remind myself that this is a side character who doesn’t even need a backstory. This is a thing I like about reading AUs, tho, seeing where the author thought all the characters fit and if they included my faves.

There’s also sort of a fundamental tension in writing romance, generally, because sometimes I want to have characters engage in dating behaviors that would not necessarily endorse in real life, because real life people are untrustworthy, but on the other hand, I’m trying to do a story here.

I’ve also started thinking about the next part of Heart is a Muscle-- for every previous installment, I have had the opening scene very clearly in my head, but not so for this one. Also, so far, everything is just walls of dialogue, so I’m going to need to figure out how to deal with that. I am not yet ready to start an outline, I’m just trying to let stuff coalesce in my head, and also I’m trying hard to not get distracted from the thing I am actually trying to work on.

Anyway, it’s going! I am trying (and succeeding) at having a small amount of fun! It’s cold and snowy here, and I just want to be smol under my blankets with my space heater and write my little story.

I will not be doing anything for Byakuya’s birthday, aside from reblogging other people’s beautiful work. I do enough for that man.

#writing update #art update

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ace-trainer-risu · 3 years

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what are your fave diana wynne jones books that aren’t howl’s moving castle??

Oh whattt a lovely and fun question which I was definitely not secretly hoping someone would ask!!!! Yay!!

Hm okay so, not specifically in order, probably my top fave Diana Wynne Jones books would be:

Deep Secret! Deep Secret is not just one of my favorite books by DWJ but one of my favorite books full stop! It’s so good. Basically, the premise is that there is an infinite series of interconnected worlds, some of which have magic and some of which don’t, at the center of which is a vast interdimensional magical empire. Magic in the multiverse is overseen by an organization of magicians called Magids and there must always be a specific number of Magids in existence. When Rupert, a young Magid living on Earth, discovers that his mentor has died (ish) he becomes unexpectedly responsible for finding and training the next Magid, which is extremely inconvenient timing for him because the aforementioned magical empire is on the brink of civil war and chaos and its his job to stop it. And also almost all of this takes place at...a science fiction convention. It’s amazing. I have read this book minimum four (probably more) times and every time it’s absolutely delightful and hilarious. I would like to go to the sci fi convention in this novel more than anything. It’s such a good read and its one of her few novels which is specifically aimed at adults, so I would EXTREMELY recommend it. Plus the romance in it is extremely good...not exactly enemy-to-lovers but more like ‘annoys-the-shit-out-of-each-other’ to lovers. (**One note about this one...there’s a few very briefly mentioned side characters who are gender noncomforming and even tho they are actually portrayed very positively, it’s not necessarily ideal and 100% respectful (basically the protags comment on them being very beautiful and nice but also keep trying to guess their “real” gender). Additionally there’s a different briefly mentioned side character who is fat who isn’t portrayed very nicely. Both of these are brief incidents, just wanted to provide a warning for them)

Dark Lord of Derkholm - Okay this one is weirdly hard to summarize but it’s about this magical fantasy world which has been taken overy and is being used as a tourist destination by a non-magical world (heavily implied to be Earth) for people who want to role play at being in a classic high fantasy story, including fighting and killing THE DARK LORD...who is really just a random magician pretending to be evil. The inhabitants of the fantasy world do not enjoy this and are trying desperately to stop the tours, but unfortunately according to a magical oracle, their best hope of stopping the tours is this year’s Dark Lord, a hapless farmer magician named Derk, and his, um, eccentric family consisting of his glamorous wife, seven children (of whom five are griffins and one is a bard) and a simply improbable amount of magical animals. And also there is a very good dragon. I think Derkholm is so great as a novel b/c it’s a very funny, loving but sharp, parody of high fantasy stories...but a lot of the time parodies only function as parodies but not as good stories in their own right, you know? But this novel completely functions as a story too, and in fact the first time I read at maybe age nine or ten, the high fantasy parody went completely over my head...but I still loved it. I also really love that this novel is very accessible to all ages, I think I enjoy reading it as an adult just as much as I did as a kid, which is rare. For anyone who has read Howl’s Moving Castle but nothing else by DWJ and isn’t sure where to start, I think this is a great place to start. (TW: There’s a brief, non-explicit scene which has implied sexual assault.)

Fire and Hemlock - This may be the most controversial one since it features a romance with a significant age gap where the two characters meet when one is a child and the other an adult. And I fully agree that that’s :/ and normally that trope is NOT my thing but it doesn’t come off at all creepy in this story imo, and if you think you can deal with that then this is a very weird, atmospheric, cool book about storytelling and fairy tales and growing up. The short summary (this is another hard to summarize one) is that as a child, Polly encounters and strikes up a friendship and correspondence with a young man, Tom, which mainly consists of the two of them jointly making up a silly, ongoing fairy tale type story...but things get weird when parts of their story start to come true in real life. I’ve only read this one twice but it really stuck with me and in fact just describing it here...really makes me want to read it again!

The Chrestomanci Series - So all of the above are either specifically aimed at adults or a general audience whereas the Chrestomanci series is aimed at children, mainly a middle grade type audience. And tbh I started reading them as a kid (fond memory - I bought an omnibus of the first two with my allowance money...b/c it had a cat on the cover!) so I don’t know what it would be like to first read these as an older teen or an adult. BUT. Honestly they are really good and would be a quick read so I do still recommend them. There’s seven overall, with th seventh being a collection of short stories, and they’re only semi-chronological so the reading order isn’t vital. My recommended order (b/c this the order I read them in, haha) is Charmed Life, The Lives of Christopher Chant, The Magicians of Caprona, Witch Week, The Pinhoe Egg, Conrad’s Fate, and then Mixed Magic you can read whenever you want so long as you read it after Charmed Life and The Magicians of Caprona. So the very core premise of it is not dissimilar to Deep Secret - there’s an infinite series of worlds/universes and there’s a magician, called the Crestomanci in this case, who is responsible for making sure magic isn’t abused across the multiverse. The Chrestomanci is an extremely powerful enchanter who has nine lives, and the novels are various semi-connected stories about the adventures of Chrestomanci as an adult and child. Chrestomanci is a title so it’s not always the same person, but for the majority of the stories it is the same guy and he’s...the best/worst...He’s this extremely handsome, charismatic, powerful enchanter who is very good at his job, loves his wife a lot, wears very beautiful clothes and makes, um, questionable life choices and is very annoying to everyone. I’ve thought about this very hard and I believe that he’s what happens when you take a fundamentally chaotic good person and make him do a fundamentally lawful good job; yes, he’s going to do it and do it well, but he is going to do it in the most chaotic, ridiculous way possible, and he IS going to die at an ALARMING rate, doing things that would not normally kill a person, such as playing cricket and trying to catch stray cats. He also, as previously mentioned, frequently wears very dramatic silk dressing gowns with elaborate embroidery, which the protag of Charmed Life finds deeply alarming. It’s very odd to me how these books don’t seem to be well known, because the Chrestomanci books were some of my absolute favorite books as a child. I still have my omnibus editions of the first four novels and they are very worn and very beloved. And it’s so WILD to me that I don’t think I have ever talked to someone who also read those as a kid! Like I’m not saying those people don’t exist, I’m sure I just haven’t met them, but that’s so weiiirddddd to me. If I bring up Tamora Pierce or Garth Nix or other authors of weird, eccentric children’s fantasy novels to other avid childhood consumers of fantasy, people usually know what I mean, but Chrestomanci and its just..crickets. Is it b/c she’s British? Anyway all of the Chrestomanci books are very degrees of good, but if I had to pick a favorite, I think, controversial choice here, it would be Conrad’s Fate. Particularly in terms of recommendations to others, Conrad’s Fate works as a standalone and, unlike the other books in the series, it’s aimed more at a YA audience, so if you wanted to read a Chrestomanci novel without getting into the whole series, that’s a good way to go. It’s about a boy, Conrad, who is told that he has a terrible, possibly fatal Fate awaiting him unless he goes to work as a servant at a wealthy, and weird, estate neighboring his town, at which place he encounters things including color changing livery, an extremely annoying teenage Chrestomanci, and the greatest liminal space house EVER. It’s like a combination of an upstairs/downstairs Downton Abbey type social drama with bizarre fantasy shenanigans. How could that not be good??

Also as Honorable Mentions - A Sudden and Wild Magic and The Time of the Ghost. A Sudden and Wild Magic is fun b/c it’s one of her few works aimed specifically at adults and it’s (gasp) a little bit NAUGHTY which I was very surprised and delighted by when I read it. (This may seem like an unfair statement considering that Deep Secret fully has an orgy in it, but Rupert is so fundamentally unnaughty of a character that he completely unnaughtifies the whole novel, whereas Sudden and Wild Magic embraces being a (little bit) naughty.) The Time of the Ghost on the other hand is weird and haunting and creepy and atmospheric. I only read it once but it’s one of those novels you just think about periodically and go “wait what the fuck that was a weird novel” (Also known as the “Garth Nix” effect)

#the ask and the answer #i spent...too long writing this out but i love talking about her novels soo muchhhh #that i couldn't help myself!!!!!!!!#diana wynne jones #things you didn't care to know about veronica

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bloodbenderz · 3 years

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humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕

article

i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!

ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).

this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn��t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.

and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.

So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.

and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!

the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.

i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.

it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.

anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3

#this is 2.1k words LMFAOO #asks #analysis #do i have an analysis tag?#crit #lok crit

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loonamonium · 3 years

Text

Thank you so much for 50+ followers!!

Here are some Loonatics headcanons I have for the moment❤️

Ace

Ace would low-key recreate fight scenes from his favourite action movies when fighting villains

Considers the team a family

Sleep fighter! Ace sometimes dreams about fighting villains and his body will react in the real world. A quick kick, random straight punch here and there, and tosses things across the room

A concerned Lexi came to check on him one night when she heard what sounded like Ace fighting, only to be smacked with a pillow from a sleeping Ace

Cannot cook to save his life, but that doesn’t stop him from trying, he just wants to help!

Rev politely shoves Ace out of the kitchen while babbling about not wanting the kitchen to implode (again)

Lexi

Knows secrets from each member of the team, no one can keep a secret from Lexi, not that she can help it tho, not with her Sonic hearing

Lexi felt it was inconsiderate to the others, so she got Tech to soundproof her room

Also because the girl needs her sleep and doesn’t need to hear anyone’s sleep talking

Lexi always feels the need to move, so she sways side to side or does a little dance, even when music isn’t playing

Very competitive when it comes to video games

Lexi is the proud record holder for most of the video games in the tower

The QUEEN of hyping the team up, it’s just natural for her!

Team bonding is a necessity, Lexi is the one to initiate group activities like movie night or game night

Duck

Big sucker for compliments! Prides himself on being better at something than others, so if anyone wants Duck to do anything, all they need is a well-timed compliment to feed into his huge ego.

Lots of feather hygiene and personal care products, which Rev would sometimes borrow

Any plans made by Duck surprisingly go right, but in the worst way

Always ends with Duck saying “but did you die?”

Tech quips in with “Sadly, no.”

Even though Duck is rude most of the time, he can actually give some good advice and support

Although everyone is pretty skeptical about any advice from Duck

Tech

Has a hard time keeping his hands still, it’s why he’s always tinkering with something or tapping at his computer

When he doesn’t have anything to tinker with, he’s tapping his fingers against his arm or rubbing his knuckles

Tech isn’t one for physical contact, but there are days where he physically needs it

Tech can’t cook, but only because he “doesn’t have the time”. If it were up to Tech to cook for himself, he would be living off instant noodles

That is when he actually remembers to eat, Tech would get so caught up in his projects that he forgets to eat and keep hydrated

It’s usually Lexi or Rev that come to get him or bring him food while he’s working in his lab

Tech is ambidextrous

Tech has trouble sleeping, but good luck trying to wake him up once he’s out

Definitely the “Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” type

Rev

Unspoken cook of the Team, along with Slam

One heck of a baker

Often makes seed buns, but they’re never as good as Ma’s

Rev is incredibly talented when it comes to languages!

He’s fluent in Spanish, Japanese, Korean, French, and even Latin

Rev’s brain works a lot faster than others, so it’s a breeze for him to learn something new!

Despite being able to process things faster than most, Rev can still be oblivious to obvious social cues

Messy sleeper! It’s not uncommon to see his pillow, sheets, and blanket on the floor, sometimes Rev is the one who ends up on the floor

Coffee has the opposite affect on Rev, rather than him getting that boost of adrenaline and energy, he actually slows down to a certain degree

Slam

Big ol’ softie!

Grabs the whole team for a big hug during heartfelt moments

Other than working out and eating, Slam also loves to garden!

Slam’s gotta be gentle with plants and since his hands are Huge he always uses gardening tools

Used to keep all his plants in his room, until Tech added a greenhouse in the tower. Lexi also goes there to work on her plant manipulation, with Slam’s permission of course

LOUDEST SNORES, it resulted in Slam also getting a soundproof room

Understands sign language pretty well, although Slam fumbles when using it himself

#loonatics unleashed #loonatics headcanons #wasnt expecting this blog to grow this fast but here we are #i appreciate all of yall that continue to keep this show around

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emersonfreepress · 3 years

Note

What would the ro's be like in a zombie au?

whyyyyy anon whyyy. I'm actually gonna write this in like.. slightly different terms, you'll see. any time I even briefly think of a zombie au I'm just like

I WANNA WRITE IT SO BADDD

i don't even allow myself to entertain it for very long because getting into that would be the worst thing ever for my productivity with the alpha omg 😂😂 so I'll put like the ideas that pop into my head for writing a zombie au, to work some of that creative frustration out 😆

so in this very general, absolutely noncommittal idea of mine, the main cast are older and the setting is in and around a civilian settlement led by the Emersons.

and as a refresher, i like my zombie aus to have fast zombies and fast infections ^ ^ 28 Days Later/Train to Busan style babyyyy, we the Sprinting Dead up in this bitch 😆

= = =

Gabe is, predictably, looking for what's left of his family. Following rumors of safe havens and bunkers and such. Starts the story as someone who tries to be diplomatic, if not outright pacifist, but as times get tougher and resources dwindle, he'd become one of the most cutthroat motherfuckers in the wasteland. Low-key though, low-key. People won't trust you if they know you’re capable of throwing them to a horde for strategic reasons. Like if Rick turned into Shane (for those of us familiar with early Walking Dead--idk did that happen eventually? i gave up before we even met Negan lol). The end justifies the means :) Damn, I can legit see Gabe going full evil in a zombie au omg 😂😂 i want to write it so fucking bad

Preferred weapon for zed encounters: rifle

Preferred weapon for human encounters: handgun

Faith in humanity: fucking zero

Zombie kill count: plenty; the type to kill every zombie he has spare ammo and time for

Human kill policy: When it benefits him or the people he’s looking after

Survival rating: B+; he can make it out of some pretty dire situations through sheer will to live and ruthlessness

- - -

Kile has arrived--clearly, this is the timeline they belong in. They start their journey with Gabe (and their doggo) and stick to him like glue, even reluctantly so when Gabe eventually has them join the settlement. This can only go one way, though: Kile's just too much of a wildcard for the group and hates being told what to do. (Especially now that society has fallen, wtf) They'd make their exit alone and unannounced aside from a brief head’s up to Gabe. It's slightly bittersweet, but also? They get to loot and hunt and sneak around and kill fucking zombies, all by themself. Kile is a loner, a hiker, and a hunter to begin with so they do beyond fine on their own. However, once the inevitable violent human threat comes for the settlement, Gabe is sent out to convince Kile to come out of isolation, just this once please, to be the camp’s super soldier help defend the camp.

Zed weapon: p much anything they can get their hands on, ranged or melee, blunt or sharp, w/e; improvised weapons

Human weapon: hunting knife

Faith in humanity: never had any to begin with

Zombie kill count: lol infinite?? any zed they come across is double-dead if they have the time for it

Human kill policy: at Gabe’s direction or when provoked enough/threatened

Survival rating: A-; they trust no one, live in isolation, and prioritize survival above all else. only reason it’s not higher is they would risk their life for Gabe or their furbaby and also... their own Rambo-esque antics def attracts the occasional horde lmao

- - -

Jack... this poor boy, he doesn't deserve a zombie au 😂 He's one of those people that first believes zombies are just sick people, too squeamish to keep up with TV news coverage at the onset and too upset to consider anything else. He'd hunker down at home, staying holed up even while his neighbors evacuated, and probably be discovered while the main group is looting the same place as him. When people try to tell him the real state of the world, he'd be in denial until he absolutely couldn't be anymore. idk, probably after Kile shooting a bunch of non-lethal holes thru a zombie to make a point (attracting more in the process lol).

He’d almost immediately join the medical team at the settlement and as word spreads about how easy he is to talk to, he quickly becomes the literal on-site therapist. It's a role he embraces but... idk if it's an emotional burden he can bear. He's very emotionally resilient! But he ain't a professional lol imagine a whole settlement of traumatized zombie survivors seeking you out for counseling, yikes. He also can't say no to a person in need, so instead he quietly spirals into a very private depression while continuing to help others!!

Zed weapon: Oh gosh, do I really have to?

Human weapon: ...Kindness?

Faith in humanity: Unrealistically high

Zombie kill count: Single digit

Human kill policy: Not ever, unless completely unavoidable and to defend the defenseless

Survival rating: C...? idk, that feels generous. D+. To be protected at all costs!!

- - -

Jessie also had the initial reaction of hoping zombies could be saved, but she woke up from that dream swiftly. The science-minded person that she is, esp with her interest in biology, leaves her determined to find anybody who's got the intellect, expertise, and resources to start doing actual work toward a treatment, cure, vaccine—anything. Nothing would get her to finally unabashedly embrace her love of science (and innate leadership skills!!) faster than a zombie apocalypse! In fact, it’s thanks to her that the Emerson settlement’s got a small but growing team of scientists doing as much research as humanly possible to best educate the others on the outbreak and zombie behavior. Def no zombie experimentation going on though lol. ...Not yet, at least.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: rifle

Faith in humanity: High! We’ll find a solution! Don’t give up hope!

Zombie kill count: Double digits, but less than 30

Human kill policy: Only in unavoidable self-defense or defense of others

Survival rating: B! She has experience with ranged weapons, farming and gardening skills, first aid, camping experience, and a can-do attitude with a healthy dose of realism!

- - -

Rain remains cargo as I said in the last post about this 😆 They'd be very good for keeping clothes repaired and making useful modifications in the settlement, but their life up to this point has been very sheltered and privileged. We're talking somebody with a chauffeur and a personal chef before the outbreak! They would contribute to quality of life and homemaking efforts more than anything—an overlooked aspect of these scenarios tbh! After as many months of dragging their feet as possible and being nigh impossible to track down when you need them, they eventually become involved in meal planning and even help out with medical stuff if they're asked.

Zed weapon: how do you reload this thing again?

Human weapon: switchblade or other concealable sharp-pointy

Faith in humanity: Very low

Zombie kill count: 0! Can you believe it!

Human kill policy: Well if it’s you or me, of course I’m choosing me.

Survival rating: C. Being so tiny helps them find good hiding spots and their self-preservation is high enough to keep them from unnecessary risk-taking. Plus they're very stealthy! Self-defense is a major issue though, so hiding is always their best option.

- - -

Rupan/Rohan scouts for and leads scavenging missions and is Curt's right hand on the recruitment team. The two of them together are the perfect combo of diplomacy, debate, and deception--although R is more honorable about the last one and will only deceive for strategic reasons. When they aren’t looting and recruiting, they’re doing peacekeeping inside the settlement. Most social disputes end up getting brought to them for mediation and they’re pretty dang good at making and enforcing calls. One day they’ll wake up to realize they’ve basically become a sheriff and feel the need to puke their guts up and do something, anything, to reassure themself they’re still punk 😂

Zed weapon: SMG

Human weapon: shotgun

Faith in humanity: Believes in fundamental goodness but knows better than to trust first impressions

Zombie kill count: decent, more than 40; you won’t catch them having a field day tho, they’re trying to gtfo of most zed situations

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. And they aren’t, at all, immune to a revenge rampage either...

Survival rating: B-. Can handle themself both with humans and zeds but is vulnerable to hostage situations and truly difficult sentimental/interpersonal decisions!

- - -

Vivian/Vincent manages inventory and stock and they run it so efficiently it’s scary! They're the perfect pick: a hawk-eyed tyrant and tattletale 😂 Despite constantly butting heads with just about everyone on every imaginable thing, they quickly become an important part of the inner circle of decision-makers for the settlement at large. Terrible at stealth, jumpy, and squeamish at the sight of blood and gore, they literally never go on missions unless they're 100% needed for their expertise on a supply run. (They would deny all of these shortcomings are that big a problem, meanwhile R is definitely acting as their bodyguard lol.) When they do tag along, they're prone to becoming the damsel in distress. Seriously, it happens near every fucking time. It's like they just attract only the most improbable and perilous zombie attacks and hostage situations 😆

Zed weapon: shotgun

Human weapon: handgun

Faith in humanity: Medium; seeing people work together at the settlement helps restore it a bit

Zombie kill count: Double digits, under 25

Human kill policy: Violent threats have to be taken out. Well, no, not by me! Get one of the ruffians to do it!

Survival rating: C-. They’d be higher if they weren’t such natural zombie bait.

- - -

Heidi is running the settlement, well-organized to the degree of actually managing to bring bureaucracy to a post-zombie apocalypse settlement 😂 People are free to come and go, but getting in if you don't live there requires trading something of value (fuel, med supplies, food, etc), temporary surrender and registry of firearms and explosives, and you gotta GTFO at the time and date specified upon entry! You can stay long-term if you contribute to the community in a tangible way—and each person admitted is approved by Heidi personally. Yes, every individual. No, she has no free time. And she is not known to be lenient with rule breakers—you want rule bending, you’ll have to go to Curt for that. People kind of hate her, but it can't be denied that she runs a tight ship. She kind of throws herself into the work to avoid the harsher reality at large and hasn't left the settlement in a long time. She's out of touch with how bad things have gotten in the wastes, but she knows better than to take reports at anything less than face value--even when she's skeptical.

Zed weapon: rifle

Human weapon: handgun; dagger

Faith in humanity: Medium. It fluctuates, honestly

Zombie kill count: Double digits, less than 20

Human kill policy: Violent threats must be taken out if they can’t be reasoned with. Spare those who surrender, eradicate those who don't, keep an eye on the newbies. Not tryin’ to nurse any vendettas around here lol

Survival rating: B. She's good with a firearm, masterful at persuasion, and savvy enough to calculate risks appropriately. Also far tougher than her prim exterior and demeanor suggests!

- - -

Curt leads the recruitment and reconnaissance teams! When a new person or group shows up in the area, Curt's the one who stalks watches them, decides if they're worth approaching, and if they should be approached with an invitation, a simple acknowledgment/announcement of their presence, or an outright armed warning to leave the area. He also keeps tabs on morale and general confidence inside the settlement, alongside R. When he isn’t leading those efforts, though, he’s flirting with settlers and squirreling his way out of manual labor and other chores. He’s also secretly growing weed at his place--don’t tell Heidi or Vi ‘cause they’ll wanna yell at him and ration it UGH.

Zed weapon: SMG, explosives

Human weapon: handgun, dagger

Faith in humanity: Pft, sorry, what now?

Zombie kill count: ...way more than you’d expect

Human kill policy: I don’t start confrontations, but I sure as fuck end them.

Survival rating: A! He’s good at playing hapless idiot when it suits him to be underestimated, good with firearms, and capable of being ruthless and decisive in life or death situations! Plus he has no qualms about ditching the settlement if he decides it’s not working out for him. Just don’t tell Heidi lol

#the rest are under the cuuuut #had to stop myself from writing too much SEVERAL times #love me a zombie apocalypse #lovely anon #answered #ROs #whoops got carried away lol #spent most of my work day finally finishing this ask because VIVA PROCRASTINATION #someone help ._.#phew #feels good to finally get it out of my system tho #now I can promptly never ever write it 😂#AUs #fave #scenarios

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lifeexperience · 3 years

Text

Maribat March 2021 - Half time

In my AO3 account I am also updating the 'A playboy billionaire, an ambassador and the secret love-child' title, and sometimes I add(ed) commentary why I write something the way I do.

Masterlist

From the last fifty days here is all the plus note:

First day

In Red Robin (2009-2011) comics Vicki Vale was a little bit too noisy for her own good, that's why I used her personal annoyance against Bruce Wayne in this story.

Third day

Vanessa Rios was an assistant district attorney in Gotham in the Robin (1993-2009) run. Here I am using her as the Wayne's legal team head. Tamara Fox, Lucius Fox's daughter, is friends with Tim Drake in Red Robin (2009-2011) comics and here too. Also she is an intern with the HR department who knows about the BatFam alteregos.

Fifth day

In the comics, Alfred always followed Bruce to his 'trips' (in 'Batman and Son' to London, 'Batman & Robin Annual' to an scavenger hunt, in 'Batman Inc.' to every country where they found representatives...) However because of Damian's unpredictable behaviour he stayed at the manor with the children in this story.

Sixth day

So Young Justice thing is a little complicated to me if I dare to say something about it. There was the 'Young Justice: The Secret' and its sequels. Then there were 'The New52' and 'DC Rebirth' era, plus the animation show. And they all are kind of okay..ish, furthermore I wanted to keep the principles like the main members (Tim Drake, Connor Kent, Bart Allen and Cassie Sandsmark), however I never liked their too childish behavior in some of the works (and the mixing with 'The Titans). So in this story, here, they are more adult..ish, but more relaxed and cheerful than 'The Titans' ever was (like in comics, not in the shows).

Eighth day

In the 'Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir' show they showed Lila as a manipulator without any remorse, which got me to think she has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). I am not a doctor but I had some basic lesson in psychology, and I have a natural curiosity about things so I always research everything. With diagnosed ASPD the person has to be older then 18, however I read its symptoms can show up in childhood, and it can lead to an earlier diagnosis like 14-15 years old early.

In the case of Lila she deceives people and uses them (✓). Don't makes long term plans or thinking through about her behavior (✓), however has a set on some goal she wants to achieve (✓). She has a sense of superiority above of her classmates and adults in her environment (✓), nevertheless does't have any remorse or guilt to mistreat them (✓). Uses charisma and her fake charming persona to get something or someone (✓), however didn't value them more than tools or prizes (✓).

I didn't see any real aggressive behavior from Lila beside akumatizations (✓), but on its own I think it's enough evidence, that she has this disorder (and not the many that she claimed). In normal aggressive way Lila didn't show herself (like physical violence, loud angry outbursts, big fits in front of everyone) yet, rather she uses Akumatization to hide that kind of behavior (when Adrien tried to stand up she became willingly Chameleon, or the Heroe's Day, or Oni-Chan). So her Akumatised forms and helping to Hawkmoth are the evidences that she has aggressive behavior, however they are not the classic forms (but we also can remember the threatening in the bathroom, but I think that was more intimidation and showing her superiority then pure aggressiveness).

And I wanted that recreate and strengthen this 'fact' a little bit so it would be more obvious than in the show.

Ninth day

In the comics there are so many take on Bruce Wayne it's kind of hard to count it. We could list the Batman persona, when he kind of let his children do what they want within his no-kill-rule (like living alone at fourteen with bunch of other teenager - 'Teen Titans' or 'Young Justice' or as it looks like to go rough - Robin, Red Hood). And there is the obvious martyr-parent take, when he has to know everything about his children, but he is always silent about the important things ('Death of the family' - 'Batman and Robin: Born to kill' - 'The Hunt for Robin'). And one of my favorites the worried-tired father take, when he is kind of showing his emotions and trying to love his kids ('Super Sons' - 'Robin Rises' - 'Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush' ...).

And I decided to use the last with a more active take from the first (like he lets everyone do their thing but he is monitoring them within reasons). In the comics there are many accusations about being someones father (with Julie Madison or Mariah Shelley), and here in my take he is trying to be responsible (for the sake of his children, mainly for Damian and Jason) and checks every claim out personally (so they also can do DNS test).

Tenth day

Alya Césaire is a complicated someone in the show. At first she is portrayed as a fierce helper for the protagonist, Marinette. She is stubborn and reckless, but royal to her best friends.

Then came Lila and the makers sharpened her stubborn tunnel vision. This I saw it first at the 'Lady Wifi' episode, when she clearly didn't remember about the first day, when Ladybug saved Chloé (or ignored it). After that she always fixated on 'Adrienette' (or everything else if it's interesting - Dark Cupid) when the girl, herself had other things to do (Princess Fragrance, Puppeteer 2, Reflektdoll 2, Timebreaker). So it was not that big surprise when her tunnel vision turned to Lila, and she (and everybody in her class) forgot about that they all met Jagged Stone and with his crocodile already.

Yeah, it's all true, however unlike Lila, Alya didn't show any other big social flaw. And she is 14 years old and middle child, which is kind of important in someone personality. She has to be a mature figure and a little child at the same time in her sibling's eyes. She has to compete attention in their parents eyes and be smart about it.

Moreover if we look at the Collège Françoise Dupont's students, they are all spoiled, not just Chloé or Lila or Adrien. Yes, they are not that bad like the three, but they are all sheltered to a certain degree. Their family don't have financial problems (famous chef, designers, mayor, famous bakery, curator in the most famous museum, police officer, famous pantomime, ...), plus they are all in a prestigious school where they can't meet people with everyday problems (and rich spoiled kid is not an everyday occurrence in my country). And beside some vision problems (Max, Sabrina) they are all healthy and the first time to meet a disability is when Lila arrived. So it's natural if they don't really know how to interact right with her (putting aside that whole lie thing).

And I think they, especial Alya, need first a little life experience, before they could be called responsible about their acts. And here I am trying to write it this kind of way, where they are all flawed, but they can learn from it.

Human being can be shallow and not perfect. These children only heard one perspective from Lila, and another from Marinette. In the show the makers not exactly specified about how well the classmates know Marinette and how depth Marinette and Alya friendship is, so there is already some trust issue.

Like yeah all of they are going to concerts, cinema, each others, however they didn't show so far any serious conservation between them (maybe the only exception is Adrien-Marinette combo). Until this year when Adrien and Alya got transferred in the class, the classmates don't even help Marinette with Chloé bullying. And one year friendship - how beautiful is it tho - is not that depth and stable, especially with that many secrets they have. And Lila 'charming' personality came into this still fragile relationship at the right time to prove this.

I am not saying that the makers is doing good to simplifies the relationships. Because rather they missed so many ziccers for the sake of promote new hero designs and the overwritten romantic scene, it's physical hurting me. But they are right that we are talking sheltered-traumatized-too naive kids, who sometimes had unearned magic powers (looking at Chloé, Alya, Kim).

And I didn't ever going the length of mentioning the adult characters. It's an other kind of wormhole.

Marinette was the only one who openly disobeyed Lila's wants. She stands up against her lies in the public so she is a real obstacle for Lila. While Adrien is only trying in the background without any witness (I don't say it's bad, because with some case it's better, but not here), and the boy is too valuable to Lila.

Lila already showed in the series she didn't stop with the lies and she is brave enough to ruin someone carrier with them (Marinette - 'Ladybug', Nathalie and Gorilla - 'Oni-Chan', Alya - 'Volpina'). And Adrien watched all of it in the front seat, and he kind of knows that Lila's main target here to discredit and broke Marinette/Ladybug (and Adrien, himself also, but it's his perspective and he is very sheltered and naive about it).

And this story she got another one to ruin. Bruce Wayne, himself. And as her fake charming side melts away in her anger as she is focusing more and more on her targets.

Eleventh day

Speed Force is one of the Seven Forces of the Universe. It grants the power of the speedsters. And some of them merged with it (for example Barry Allen). Speed Force has a direct connection to the time flow and with the Multiverse (or now Omniverse). The biggest event of it is the Flashpoint (2011) which started the New52 era. And Batman doesn't want to mix this kind of force with a really mysterious ancient magic.

Nightrunner's first appearance was in 2011 in Detective Comics Annual #12. Within the Batman Incorporated line Bruce recruited Bilal Asselah, French-Algerian citizen to represent Batman in Paris. Here he is a mentor/background assistant to the Team Miraculous and a representative of Batman Inc.

Fourteenth day

Wang Fu is not the most mature character in the show and I think it says it all. Being an 186 years old is the Great Guardian after he accidentally destroyed the temple, he is kind of shameful and amateur. And if we contrasted him with Batman... yeah. Batman is NOT happy and takes the control from the old master.

Fifteenth day

I know Cyborg, alias Victor Stone is currently shown as a founding member of the Justice League (since 2011), however I am prefer him more in the Titans. And it's not just because of the animation show form 2003, but also in the comics he is more himself with the first Titans then with the -all mighty- Justice League. And I also wanted him to have a little cameo in this story because in the Super Sons (2017-) he was kind of like a babysitter for the boys. And to me it's kind of funny how many times the bats short circuited him (Robin Rises, Super Sons: Parent Trap, ...).

Sixteenth day

Damian Wayne is a complicated character. For ten years he was teached to kill. He only learnt about his mother at eight. He only learnt about his father at ten. Thalia used him for anything from power play to plotting someone death. Bruce loves him, but he is so moronic about his own emotions it's kind of painful to read sometimes. And there is the thing where Damian is never enough, his mother cloned him (Heretic), his father has other wards (mainly Red Robin). Dick Grayson went incognito spying when the boy had finally a healthier relationship (Grayson: The Superspy). His best friend, Jon Kent was suddenly older then him (2018 Superman #16). Alfred was killed in front of him (2016 Batman #77). Yeah, Damian is a jerk, but he has every right to be a jerk in my opinion. And I wanted that recreate here as Lila is a liar and threatening his 'only' position as a blood son. His only weapon to prevent it to have a fit and doing what was teached to him.

Fulltime

#maribat march #half time closure #maribat #ml fanfic #analysis #character analysis #it's long #2021

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dannyphantom-rewrite · 3 years

Text

Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married)

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse.

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

#danny phantom #art #danny fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #ref

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closer-stars · 3 years

Text

Gut Feeling (6)

Member: San Genre: bit of angst, kinda better tho?? Word Count: 6.6k Content: A bit better than the last chapter. Food mention as per usual. Maturity. Note: HELLO AFTER A MONTH. I AM BACK. This one is a lot shorter than the other chapters, idk it just felt right. Second half of this series of sorts amen. It’s not a lot but... i guess you can consider it as those type of stuffs that needed to happen ??? Yes. I tried my best amidst everything that happened recently ;; As usual I’ll update this with links after 24 hours. Tag list: @barsformars @shinyddeonghwa @yeotlny @hwaberrykiwi @miniyeo @seoultraveller @frankenstein852

Part 5

It’s back to work but you’re a little dazed. The two rest days did you good to a certain degree but having to go back into the swing of things was a bit of a challenge for you. Even if the managers would give you updates, it’s different when seeing it in real time. So here you are, back in the office, catching up on everything.

You head out to the kitchen to get your bottle refilled with water only to be greeted by San himself. Out of surprise, your heart does a little flip. You don’t know why you’re surprised though, usually at this time he and the boys should still be in the studio. Also, you’re the one who’s bringing them home tonight.

San looks up from his phone, just as surprised as you are to see you. “Hey, how are you feeling now?” He asks, his voice soft and careful.

He’s not ignoring you?

You make your way to the water dispenser, refilling your bottle. “A lot better, thank you.” You say, which comes off more as a murmur. Though it was true, you weren’t really sure of how to approach him since that talk with Seonghwa and Hongjoong. It’s constantly fight or flight and knowing you, it’s usually a little bit of both.

“Can we talk?” He starts carefully. At his voice, you look up from your bottle. Your eyes study the male carefully. You can’t keep running anymore you suppose.

“Five minutes. Go.”

He didn’t expect you to cooperate like that but he’ll take it even with the time limit. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for thinking that you and Seonghwa liked each other--”

You and Seonghwa, again. You had questions but you let him continue.

He sees how your eyes narrow at him and he feels fear course through his body. “for making things more difficult for everyone, especially you. You don’t deserve that, I still have feelings for you yeah but I understand if you don’t…” he trails off, trying to catch his breath after saying everything. “I just-- you deserve an apology after everything I caused.”

Something inside you snaps though. You’ve harbored enough frustration from how everything was going and to hear him come clean about his assumptions just made you see white. “That’s the thing with you idols, you suddenly get so used to getting everything so quickly, you think everything is reachable with a snap of your fingers. San, wake up, please. That’s not how life works, that’s not how relationships work. Not everything’s going to be fast and easy...” You refrain yourself from cursing him out, instead, you let out a sigh. “San, relationships, romantic or not, those take time.” Internally, you had to admit those words were harsh but you had to say it. You were tired. Tired from the growing workload of finding the common ground with clients, you barely had time to process everything since the near dating scandal. You ended up actually putting your account on private a few days after the chaos on social media.

It’s past five minutes already and you let him go to his scheduled practice with the boys. “Go. The boys are waiting for you.” You state, catching sight of a concerned Yunho standing by the door.

He’s never seen your eyes so cold yet so hot at the same time. It doesn’t take much to know that there’s pain in those eyes and it hurts to know that he’s the reason behind the pain. Knowing better than to push, he nods and bids you goodbye. You watch him jog over to Yunho who seems to be eyeing San then you with concern. It would be stupid of you to underestimate his smarts, so you shake your head, before turning away from them. You don’t want them to see you cry. You try your best to keep yourself together, you’ve cried enough over this matter, it’s pathetic.

When San enters the studio, Yunho gives the two oldest members a look, enough for everyone to know that he had talked to you, regardless of how it could end.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Seonghwa asks carefully, bringing him aside away from everyone’s ears first. While it’s a blessing that the group feels emotions so strongly, especially for the sake of performing, there were times where intense emotions become scary to deal with. When the younger shakes his head, they know better than to press him when things are still so fresh.

Hongjoong glances at the two of them and nods. “Let’s try to clean half of the choreography tonight.” That would probably be enough to have San’s focus on something else.

--------

You’re back in your office, thinking about what had happened. You know you would need to sit San down and get a clearer picture of everything eventually. Your phone buzzes, reminding you that the boys have to eat soon.

[ You to Hongjoong ] Do you guys have money for dinner?

You hover over the send button, deciding as to whether or not to send the message or just buy them food. It’s already 8PM and for sure those boys were hungry. You don’t really know what their routine is when it comes to choreography work especially with how stacked their schedule is, it could be anything. “Fuck it.” You delete the message and make your way to the nearest restaurant. You make sure to wear a mask before leaving the premises, already paranoid from past events.

If there’s one thing you’re grateful about, it’s how the boys are already regulars for the nearby restaurants. All you have to do is say their names and show your proof of relation with the boys and the company to get things moving. You stay outside the premises, not wanting to take up a table that could be for someone who plans to dine in.

[ You to Hongjoong ] Bought you guys food, will be there in half an hour max. Buy yourselves a drink or whatever in the 7/11 just give me the receipt afterwards.

[ Hongjoong to You ] ryan_salute_sticker

You chuckle at the reply and wait patiently outside, watching people come and go as the week comes to an end once more. The staff comes out with bags of food ready for you. “We put a little something for you as well, it’s on us.” She says, gesturing to the food container that has your name on it. The look on your face makes her chuckle lightly. “Don’t worry about it. Tell the boys that we’re looking forward to them visiting us again after their promotions.” With that, you flash her a bright smile, promising to relay their thoughts to them.

By the time you return, you could hear the boys messing around in the studio. Not that you minded, they do deserve to have some fun every one in a while. As you set the food down on the table, two figures suddenly make their way to the kitchen. An excited scream that could only come from Wooyoung startles you. “Meat!! Oh my god is that what I think it is?” He exclaims zooming towards you with his energy drink in hand. Hongjoong follows him a few seconds after, still drinking what seems to be orange juice.

You let Wooyoung do his thing, already so excited over food. “Can you get the others?” You ask Hongjoong, as you make sure that Wooyoung doesn’t create a mess. It’s not that you think Wooyoung’s incapable of being responsible, it’s that you know that when he gets excited, hell can break loose.

You eat at the second table, at least you had the company of the other members that you don’t get to talk to often. It was a nice change of pace, though still as hyper as their peers they know how to slow down. Though the conversation was on something you didn’t quite understand (see: dramas), you didn’t mind hearing the boys talk about it with such excitement. Mingi and Jongho were kind enough to give you context especially when you looked a little lost.

“Manager-nim! We’re done for the day.” Hongjoong says once you peek out from Jongho’s side.

“Oh? Okay that’s good, just take your time eating. I’m bringing you guys home anyways.” Those words make the boys bustle with energy. From the looks of things, it’s been a while since it was you who brought them home.

It’s the same thing on the way home. The boys calming down in the car as the food coma hits them: San’s knocked out in his seat, slouched against Wooyoung’s side who’s busy on his phone. Hongjoong was the same, except he was leaning against Seonghwa who was also asleep. Mingi and Yunho were busy on their phones as well, looking for new music to listen to. Jongho is seated next to you, still awake. “Jongho?” He responds with a polite hum, still drinking his water. “Just what was your schedule today? Everyone’s so tired.” You were used to them sleeping on the way home but something about today just feels so different.

Jongho laughs softly, his shoulders rising a little in the process. “Ah, it’s mostly preparations for upcoming stages. We have concert appearances in the next few weeks so we just really drilled the cleaning earlier. I think Hongjoong-hyung had a radio appearance yesterday too so he could only catch up on sleep here and there.” He explains. “The others also did vocal training and dance training in their spare time.”

You glance at the boys through the rearview mirror. No wonder they were more exhausted than usual. “How about you? How are you faring with all of these?” It’s a question that must be asked especially to someone who tries their best to be just as dependable as their hyungs.

“Me?” He repeats the question before pursing his lips for a moment. “I’ll admit that it gets tiring.” He looks over his shoulder. It’s no surprise the rest of the boys have fallen asleep. “But I’m happy doing what I’m doing. As for the recent thing happening between you and San…” This boy really doesn’t beat around the bush. “He’s matured,” he reassures you. “He’s learned from his mistakes.” Truthfully, you weren’t sure of how to respond to such a statement but you let him continue. “Let him make up for his shortcomings. You can depend on us too.” You weren’t sure if he’s the third or fourth person to tell you that, regardless you find comfort in his words.

He sees your body relax slightly as you drive. He doesn’t want you to think he’s trying to get you to date his hyung, rather to see him as someone who feels sorry for what he’s done and genuinely wants to make up for it. “Thank you for your words, Jongho.” You admit softly, easing the car into its parking spot. “Help me wake up the boys?” You ask once you’ve switched off the engine.

“Cover your ears.”

“Jongho, it’s past midnight. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

--------

You had a mix of now wide awake boys and still groggy boys in the elevator with you. Of course, Jongho looked a little too proud of his doing. Hongjoong didn’t have the heart to get mad, he was clearly improving in his singing and control. You let a still sleepy Wooyoung lean against you as the elevator goes up. Holding up a sleepy twenty something year old was a little tricky but at least he wasn’t drunk. You had made sure their floor was the first destination, they’re tired. They need the rest more than you do.

Once the elevator notifies everyone of the floor. You gently shake Wooyoung awake. “Hey, we’re here.” You say softly. It’s thanks to Yeosang and Jongho who manage to wake him up, a few insistent pokes apparently do the trick. “Sleep well guys.” You wave them goodbye. Those who were awake bid you a good night. Your eyes flit over to San, his shoulders seem a bit lighter now.

You wonder what made him look a lot lighter now. Maybe Jongho was right.

--------

You’re in your sleepwear now, nursing a hot cup of tea as you think about the events that went down today. Your phone in your free hand as you read through your conversation with San. It’s hard to admit but you did have your own shortcomings. A thoughtful sip and a deep breath. You owe him something too.

San’s in his room, already in bed, as he was just waiting for Yunho to return from the shower.

Ka-talk!

His phone vibrates with a new message. It’s from you but it’s an audio clip. He reaches over for his earphones. It takes a while for him to play the clip, a little fearful of what it carries. “Hey San.” Your voice sends a shock over his body. He didn’t expect you to actually send him something. “Listen, i’m doing this because i can’t look at you outside work, as far as i know, for now at least. I can see why people like you San, i really do…” Your voice trails off and San has to glance at his screen to make sure if it wasn’t cut off. “I will admit, if things happened differently, I probably would have caught feelings for you too.” A small part of him twists at those words but it was something that didn’t surprise him. “For now, still, I need time and distance unless it’s needed for work for us to talk. Everything you told me…” Another pause. “I need time to process that San.” He understands that and he stares at the screen count down what’s left of the audio clip. “I do forgive you but I need time to heal.” He smiles softly at the last few words. He didn’t want your romantic feelings at this point, being forgiven was the best thing for the time being.

“What’s up?” Yunho asks. Out of surprise from the sudden voice, San accidentally drops his phone on his face. Yunho pokes his head from his bed to see San clutching his nose in pain. “Are you okay?” The older asks in alarm.

“When did you finish your shower?! I didn’t hear you.” San complains once the pain ebbs away. He lifts himself up, eyeing the other through narrowed eyes.

Yunho shrugs, running his fingers through his still slightly damp hair. “Two minutes ago? You were busy on your phone so you probably didn’t hear me.” He explains. That made sense, his volume was around 70% so he wouldn’t be able to hear Yunho enter the room unless he started playing League.

“Sorry about that..” San says rubbing the back of his neck. He recounts the voice note with just the important details: you forgave him but you need time to heal. Something in Yunho relaxes at the news. Your reaction makes sense, but also seeing San look like something has been lifted off of him were good things. Even if it seems like something’s still bothering him, he still looks better as compared to the past few months.

Yunho shakes his head, dismissing the younger’s apology. “I’m just glad things are kinda patching up with you and them.” He yawns through his thoughts. “Let’s talk about this when we wake up. I’m too tired.”

San looks at his phone again. It’s 2AM. They need sleep, at least their day starts at a later time.

--------

While San and Yunho discussed your voice note, you were in your room, biting your lip in thought after that voice note you sent. You like what you were doing but you didn’t think the price to pay for a hectic job would be like this. Did other managers go through this type of issue as well? Fingers fly through the keyboard as you look for a certain draft in your emails. You read through it again a few more times, asking yourself over and over if this is a good idea.

The answer comes when you change a few things here and there in the letter. If it still lingers in your head after this week, then you’ll push through with the change. Making decisions at near two in the morning wasn’t always the best idea. For now, you need to rest to prepare for the next day.

---------

You wait for the boys outside their dorm, knowing that by now, they’re nearly done getting ready for another day in the studio. If you remember right, their choreographers have managed to create a choreography for one of their songs that they have yet to perform. The boys come out of their dorm in their training clothes and you give them a quick scan, to make sure it’s all eight of them.

“Manager-nim!! Did you sleep well?” Leave it to Wooyoung to still continue to cling to you. It’s nice to know some of the members are morning people still despite the hectic schedules they have.

You think back to last night and your decisions but you don’t let them in on it. “Yeah, sleeping after a long day in work seems to feel a little different.” You say brightly. This causes Wooyoung to sulk at your words.

“Are we a handful, Manager-nim?” He asks in a tone that makes certain members glare at him, also he’s now clinging to you. None of the members have the heart to make him stop, but they do pose themselves to hit him.

With your free hand, you pat his head. “No, you’re not~” You return in a light enough tone that just fans the flames of Wooyoung’s antics. In response, you snort much to his disappointment. “Come on. After tomorrow, you got a concert to perform in so it’s all rehearsals and meetings for your upcoming photoshoots.”

--------

While you’re in your workspace, fixing the schedule with their personal schedules in mind, Yoon comes to you with a grin. “Hey, good news.” He greets you with an iced bottle of coffee from the 7/11 downstairs.

You glance at the coffee then at the male who’s still beaming. “What’s up? Did you get a raise?” You ask as you twist the cap open. Iced macchiato.

“Manager Hwang’s coming back earlier than expected!” He says, grinning ear to ear.

Your gaze turns to him, surprised but also partly relieved to have the guy back soon. “Really? I thought he’d be back much later.” You say, clearly taken aback. “Also hey!” You quickly add. “If you wanted me out, just say so.”

Your joke makes the guy panic, realizing his words could be misunderstood. “No way! You’re amazing to work with. Hwang has to experience working with you.” He explains quickly. “I’m excited because this also means, you’ll see how great he is in FIFA.”

FIFA? The football video game?

You were about to laugh at his panicked expression until he mentions a video game. “Wait, I was joking about you wanting me out also, FIFA? What about it?” You didn’t really play video games growing up. You watched your cousins play but never really had an interest in playing.

“You haven’t seen how competitive the boys get with video games huh?”

“I’ve heard stories but never seen it happen in real time.”

He grins. Truly, like idol, like manager. “You will soon.”

You press send on the email after making sure it’ll be directed to all the parties involved in the decision. You suppose Hwang’s return is a sign that you’ve been looking for. The request would only be effective by his return as you did keep your side of the agreement.

The only thing you can do now as you wait for their response is to work. Your phone rings with a reminder, time to bring them to meet the stylists for an upcoming photoshoot. Though, you do remember that the stylists themselves are the ones who are visiting rather than the boys.

[ You to Hongjoong ] Make sure to look presentable, the stylists are coming within an hour.

You look around the office and the kitchen for the refreshments for the stylists. Once successful, you put them by the counter in the kitchen. The fitting and meeting were mostly going to happen in the studio; enough room to move for eight boys and probably three stylists. You didn’t really get a number of how many were coming today.

Fortunately for them, their schedule had enough breathing room for them to make themselves look well kept after a long time in the studio. Once everything was prepared for later, you decide to check in on them. The music playing wasn’t their songs now, rather songs from the artists they look up to. You peek through the sliver of clear glass from the door to see what they were doing.

San and Yunho were messing around in the room, eliciting laughs from the rest of the members. The two were running around and were actually on beat with the music. The scene in front of you makes you laugh to yourself: they were doing okay. As you straightened yourself again, to return to your office, the door opens enough for the muffled bass to be amplified. You look over and it’s Mingi. “Manager-nim! Did you need something?” He asks, even with the hint of exhaustion in his eyes, he still had so much energy in him to flash such a bright smile at you.

His question surprises you but you suppose he saw you peeking earlier. “No, no. I just wanted to check on you guys since the stylists will be here in roughly an hour.” You explain, gesturing that you were on your way back to your office.

Someone calls out your name in between laughter. It’s Wooyoung. “Manager-nim!” He calls out, running over towards the both of you. “We need a tie breaker.” Huh? He doesn’t explain much but tries to get you to join. You glance at Mingi and it takes him awhile to understand why, to which he starts to crack up.

“What’s going on?” Your voice carries apprehension. Now, you know these boys can barely hurt a fly, but these boys are capable of doing the weirdest things for the sake of entertainment. These are eight boys who will have a competition on who can stuff the most ramen noodles into their mouth in one go. The other two managers have become unfazed to their antics while you have yet to see just how far they can go. You’re not quite sure if you could handle them at their highest peak of beagle-like energy.

“Manager-nim,” Wooyoung starts, now holding up a pen as if it were a microphone. “Are you a mint-choco fan or a mint-choco anti?” He asks, now posing the pen near your lips.

You stare at him in disbelief, then at the seven boys who seem to await your answer. “W-wait.” You push the pen a little farther from you and gesture to the others. “What are their answers?” It was obvious for you that San and Mingi were into mint chocolate, while Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the two who weren’t into it.

Wooyoung answers it for you with ease, though with a hint of impatience. “San, Mingi, Jongho and I are into it. Seonghwa-hyung, Hongjoong-hyung and Yeosang aren’t. Yunho’s neutral on it.” To you the answer was already obvious that a majority leaned towards liking the flavor.

“Guys, I’m just…” You trail off trying to find the right words. The silence makes Hongjoong jump into it.

“Manager-nim doesn’t like it either! Bleh~” He exclaims, looking all proud. Rare was the sight of Hongjoong being mischievous in front of you.

“N-no, it’s just, I don’t really mind it. If it’s there, I’ll eat it. If it’s not there, it’s not the end of the world.” You explain, much to his dismay.

“How can you eat something that tastes like toothpaste..” Seonghwa mutters much to San’s dismay. His comment makes you look at him in mild alarm.

“Seonghwa, toothpaste doesn’t have chocolate bits in them..” Just what went on in their dorms? Your words make him whine and you start to laugh at how they were so passionate about something as simple as ice cream flavors. You wondered what their stances are on pistachio and matcha ice cream then. Your phone vibrates, a call coming through. While the boys were busy trying to win the debate, to which Yunho slightly struggles to control, you answer the call outside the studio.

“Hello?”

“Hello! We’re the stylists for their upcoming photoshoot. We’ll be in the company in ten minutes!” The voice on the other line chirps politely.

The voice makes you stand a little straighter, almost on instinct, you use your formal voice. “Alright, I’ll wait for you by the entrance of the building.” With that the call ends, you return to the studio and it’s calmer now, though you could see that Wooyoung and San were sulking over what could’ve been the other half of the debate. “Guys, get ready. The stylists are on their way.” With that said, the boys fix themselves again.

Hongjoong looks over at you. “Manager-nim, should I go with you?”

Now, in your eyes it’s not a bad thing if the leader decides to greet the stylists with you by the entrance. It’s not a bad thing either if he doesn’t. “Your choice, Hongjoong. If you are, meet me by the elevator. I’m just grabbing my laptop.” Without missing a beat, you slip out of the studio immediately. You can only imagine how much notes you need to update for the other teams after this meeting.

Once you head towards the elevator, you’re already greeted by the leader busying himself with his phone as he waits for the elevator to arrive at your floor. “Seonghwa and Yunho are watching over the boys?”

“Yep, they’ll take care of them as we wait.” His response makes you nod, relieved to know someone’s keeping them in line before their energy bounces back up once more. It’s not that you think they can’t take care of themselves, but more of, when one’s up, everyone’s up.

The elevator doors close in on the two of you as it brings you to the ground floor. You want to tell Hongjoong what had happened in the past few hours but now isn’t the right time. Just as you were about to open your mouth about a quick summary, the doors open. Though knowing Hongjoong, he already knows something about it even without you telling him.

It only takes five minutes of waiting for the two of you to be greeted by three stylists. Though they dress simply, they knew what piece fits them best. A small pang of jealousy blooms in your chest when you see how well kept they were; you knew your own body and fashion and how to look put together as well but those who were in the fashion industry just seemed to do it better. Small talk happens among the five of you as the of you lead them to where the rest of the boys were. Maybe it was a good thing that Hongjoong came with you due to the some of the clothes they brought in a few bags.

There was something about the third stylist, that put you off. It wasn’t her overly warm and optimistic energy, which honestly at this point doesn’t faze you anymore as other idols who have greeted the boys had the same energy she had. You weren’t so sure yet of what it is, but you’re not sure either if you want to find out what’s putting you off about them. She continues to make conversation with Hongjoong as you’re left juggling a conversation with the other two. You don’t notice Hongjoong’s uneasiness around her until the two of you welcome them inside.

The two of you do notice how her eyes light up at the sight of everyone else who were lounging about. You just assume that she was a big fan of them and was struggling to keep it together and carry on. The boys do their signature greeting then move about to get their measurements and a run down of what will happen in two weeks time.

You along with another stylist keep track of the clothes that the boys and they liked, those that were debatable and those that just didn’t look that great on them. The other two took their measurements, and offered the clothing pieces that they would try on. The first stylist from earlier seems to be taking her sweet time with San. If you actually focused on listening to their exchange, you could tell she was having the time of her life. It took a lot of your self control to not outwardly sigh in front of the stylist who was labelling which clothes the boys liked as their basis.

It takes a while before the said stylist moves to another member, and at that opening, San immediately moves away. You glance at San over your laptop, and he’s sending you a look that says, ‘I’m not talking to them unless I have to, please help.’. While San is a grown man, you do know how it feels to be cornered at work due to unwanted advances. You flash him a smile and beckon him over. “I hope you don’t mind if San helps us out on this too?” You ask the stylist as he practically hops over to the two of you. Much to San’s relief, he welcomes the added input.

San’s eventually joined by Mingi who knows more of fashion than you and San combined. You could see the gears in their heads running as the idea in the stylist’s head was starting to become more and more clear. Once all of the work has finished, the boys take one last look at the outfits the head stylist has set out, you know that they wouldn’t change anything anymore but you kept your fingers poised on your keyboard should there be any changes made. Seeing that everyone was satisfied, they ask you to take their photo to celebrate a job well done.

You receive the head stylist’s phone and you let them gather around for the photo. It’s not hard to spot the first stylist from earlier try to worm her way near San, only to be blocked by Wooyoung and Seonghwa already around him. It takes a bit of your self control to not snort at her feeble attempts be quashed so easily by clingy boys. Three shots and everyone’s now back to cleaning up the room.

The eight of them help pack and fold everything into their rightful place that the head stylist had to send her praises about them to you, even going as far as offering their services for the future promotions. She slips her contact card to you, which you keep in your phone’s case for the time being. This time, it’s only you who accompanies them out, much to Hongjoong’s surprise. You signal that you’ll be okay and for him to keep an eye on San.

---------

“I swear hyung, she was trying to hit on me…” San mutters in his spot as he shudders at the mere thought of it; the praises were alright but the slightly lingering touches and gaze made him want to leave immediately. Some of the boys find a little amusement in his complaints, they understand the issue on hand but to see San whining excessively was a sight to see. Of course they couldn’t do much about the situation while it was happening but they could prevent it in the future.

The door clicks open and they see you poking your head in. “How was it?” You ask them. It has become a routine for all of you to check in on them after meeting with any outsider of the company. They’re still young and while they have good heads on their shoulders, the industry is a scary place to be in.

“Manager-nim, is it alright if we don’t work with one of the stylists on the day of the photoshoot?” Hongjoong starts carefully. Always a leader that guy is.

You glance at him then at San who was still sulking against Yunho’s shoulder. “The lady with the high ponytail and rolled up denim jacket?” You ask, even acting out how her clothes looked like. At your description, San jumps into the conversation.

“Please? Is it possible? Manager-nim, Ms. Mihyun was trying to know me a little too much and flirting with me.” San pleads. You feel bad for him. In other circumstances, being hit on would’ve been an ego boost but being hit on at work really doesn’t sit well with you.

It’s the way you look at him that he realizes just how you’re able to keep things professional. You still look at him with protective warmth and concern for his safety, even after everything. It gets his head a little dizzy to put it lightly. “I think I can make it work. The head stylist did like your work ethics, even wants to work with you guys in the long run.” You bring out your phone, making quick work of writing a message up to the head stylist. “Hello! This is ATEEZ’s manager.” You read your message out loud for them. If there were any comments from the boys, you tweak the message around to their liking to make sure the point of the message is received.

The boys were impressed with your message and didn’t mind it one bit. They could see why the company wanted you: you could fit in any of the teams. Once satisfied with their response, you press send. A small part of you waits on a reply from company heads in regards to your email but even that would take some time. With a group that’s a rising icon in the k-pop wave plus a few trainees that show just as much potential as the boys, the love calls from other companies are still coming in.

For now, you’ll enjoy and make the most out of the time you have with the guys through your work.

--------

Over the next few weeks, San has been more mindful of his actions around you. While he still cares for your health like the first few months, he’s come to understand you a little better now. He does his best to see you more as who you really are, rather than the idealized version he had of you months back. He’s realized you had a bit of a soft heart behind your independent exterior, how you always preferred a stronger type of coffee, compared to the group (much to Seonghwa’s horror). It took a bit of time to notice how protective you are of your own friends and them.

You pick up on the changes as well. He joins in on the teasing every now and then, but always making sure never to cross the line. Sometimes at the corner of your eye, you catch San watching you joke around with his members, his gaze soft but he never makes a move. He doesn’t seem to sulk over the lack of attention either, letting you joke around with the other members as well. They’re small changes but it has improved his performance as himself and as a member of ATEEZ.

There were changes and there were still constants. He still stays late into the studio practicing new moves, new styles, different combinations just to better himself. As usual, you bring him back to the dorms. He doesn’t make a fuss about you waking him up now, rather he hops out of the car as soon as you switch off the engine. You were a little grateful for that, more time for you to sink into your bed after the long day. As you step out of the car, rummaging through your bag, you find him waiting for you by the elevator. “Sorry to keep you waiting.” You say as you rush over to press the up button.

“Nothing to be sorry about. It’s late after all.” San reassures lightly. He watches you rummage through your bag. “You got your phone?” He asks. He’s noticed as well how you sometimes have slip ups with your memory. You bring out your phone, putting it in your pocket. “Wallet?” He asks then he sees you bring it out. “Powerbank.” He lists off and that’s when it takes you a while to bring it out.

“That’s what I forgot.. It’s in the office.” You mutter. There was no way you’d drive back to the company to pick it up. You’ll just bring your charger for tomorrow.

A soft amused huff slips from his lips and he gestures for you to enter the lift first. “It’s okay, I can bring my powerbank tomorrow.” He offers as he follows you inside.

“You don’t have to. I can use my laptop as a powerbank if all else fails.” You return.

Always an independent one you are. He doesn’t push but he still keeps it in mind to bring it just in case. “You know,” he starts, as he presses the number for your floor first. He then leans against the wall opposite of yours. “After that thing with Ms. Mihyun, I kind of understand why you were probably against the idea of us dating.” Well he knew of your main reasons, but Mihyun really had him thinking.

You lean against the wall, arms crossed. His words had piqued your interest. Whenever San’s in those moods, he does drop a few things that remind you he’s maturing. “Oh? And what is it?”

“The idea of flirting and being in a relationship with someone while at work is kind of.. Weird.” he wasn’t sure if weird was the right word but to be the subject of flirtations while everyone is trying to work didn’t feel right to him. He knows he can separate his personal life with work but emotions have made him act out of line. To risk all that he’s worked for: for the sake of a relationship, maybe not now. Hearing you chuckle makes him frown in confusion. “What?”

You were endeared by his moments of childlike tendencies. You know he has a way with words but there were also moments where his vocabulary reminds you of a high school kid. “Mihyun really tried to flirt with you huh?” You ask. The conversation is cut short when the elevator pings; you’ve arrived at your floor. You return your gaze back to the male. “Anyways, get some sleep okay?”

A small part of him wanted to walk you back to your apartment, but he knows this complex was a safe one. You also apparently knew how to hold yourself up against Wooyoung’s pestering actions. He knows better to offer that so he smiles at you and nods his promise. “You too.” He addresses you by your name this time though still with the formal honorifics.

“Drop the formalities when we’re outside of work, San.” You say. He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else but a good night, as the doors close in on the two of you. You’re back alone now in the lighted hallway, a heavy sigh slipping through your lips. Another long day coming to an end.

Your phone pings with a few alerts that you’ve kept at bay throughout the day. One of the notifications is from the email you’ve been waiting for. Your request has been approved, effective in a few months.

Part 7

#ateez scenarios #my writings #idk something about writing this chapter felt natural and right #though a bit of a struggle since i had to juggle my first dance class and among other things lol #hope this is okay for everyone though ;;#ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfics #ateez fanfic #i'll try to make part 7 more san centered lol

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btswishes · 3 years

Text

What we were and what we are

One Shot/ Random

A/N: Take it as an emotional dump. I will put a keep readying line since I don’t think anyone would want to read this. XD Have fun anyways if you wish to stay friend. Who knows maybe it could be a Yoongi x Reader , friends to lovers story, idk.

Word count: 2,535

Playlist recommended for this : Jin-Epiphany Big Bang- Loser Big Bang- Blue at the end you can try BTS- We Are Bulletproof The Eternal

Warnings: dark, anxiety, talk of trauma , be yourself please

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The sky was covered with soft cotton candy like clouds, tinted in the colors of the ending day. Oranges, reds, blues, yellows, you name it it was there. The wind was warm and but a whispering tender sensation over your exposed skin. The grass pillowing your body under the roughly placed cover, as your head moved up and down by Yoongi’s breath. Laying onto him felt like a antidepressant pill to you.Time had stopped. He was leaning onto his left arm as you both were looking up at the sky. His free hand from time to time brushing over your hair.

“Your mom is calling.” he said taking a glance at your lit up phone screen

“Leave it.” you didn’t even use all the breath in your lungs with this sentence.

“Shouldn’t you pick up tho? I mean she is your mom.” Yoongi’s eyes now focused onto you

“Nah man, she is probably mad at me for something. My mom or not, good or shitty relationship, no matter how much parents say ‘i understand you’ or ‘i was your age once too’ .It never works, telling them anything ends up being a pain in the ass later. Asking for help when you fuck up is the same.” you tried following a lonely cloud with the corner of your eye

“I guess them not accepting that something is wrong with their kids is a defense mechanism.”

“That fucks us up tho. Just because they want to lie to themselves to feel better, leaves their kids untreated and undiagnosed ,messing them up. Years of being bullied and not knowing why, can’t study even if they try, can’t be themselves. Such an easy solution, yet such a hard choice to make to take the first step.” you sighed as you spoke out, a bit of disappointment mixed in with your breath.

“Ha ha ha.” Yoongi laughed under his nose before laying back down

“The fuck did I say?” you cut him off, thinking the giggle was a bit displaced in this talk

“And when you take the first step? What then? The so called professionals lie to us too, give us chemistry and tell us all will be ok as they turn us into addicts to fake serotonin. Psychologists? The word comes from Greek meaning the study of the soul, yet those assholes look at us as bags of meat that you can stuff with pills. Yet we would do anything to get that drop of calmness, that feeling of being a bit happy for being alive right now. And when the effect passes? You want more and more, pill after pill, pharmacy after pharmacy. What difference is there between us people with anxiety and disorders and drug addicts? The medical degree probably.”

You smirked after his last words “ Not all doctors are bad, but you can feel how genuine they are, the rest are health merchants. I don’t think there was a difference in the first place. Drugs, alcohol, smoking fuck it, even sex, man. It’s all to fill that void with dopamine, serotonin and all the bio crap.”

“Isn’t that chemistry tho?”

“We learned it in biology class so it’s bio to me. Do I look like a professor to you?” you rolled over and flicked his nose earning a ‘yah!’ “Hey.”

“Wasup?” Yoongi pulled his hand from under his head and spread his arms wide like a star in the vast sky.

“You know that thing where people ask you, if you saw your younger self in front of you right now and they were having the same feelings as you. What would you do?”

“I don’t know honestly, probably give the little guy a hug and some money ,or buy him something to eat. Someone out there for sure has it shittier than me, but I guess one of my mistakes was to undervalue my own emotions and mental state. Fuck, i got myself in such a hole. When people say ‘after you hit the bottom there is no where more to go but up’ , honestly that is straight up crap and bullshit. Some of us keep clawing and digging fearing that there is more to come. “

“Ah.” a memory popped up in your head on it’s own “That shit hole. Yeah, either you lose yourself laying there with bloody fingernails and hands, or you start crawling back up like a bug. You know, the blood is gonna stain the walls so next time you fall you will remember and catch yourself...if you make it that far.” lifting your hand, you covered a bit of the sky with it, noticing the colors around it “What about the times we reach out but no one grabs on?”

“Fuck! Y/N! We were supposed to have a nice walk in the park not a whole ass depressing talk session!” Yoongi hissed out, unlike his words his voice wasn’t angry

“Oh come on, you know that somehow we always end up talking about this shit.We are both broken pieces, but I think that isn’t bad at all.” you felt his breath stop under you for a split second “I feel like that is why we fit so well together.”

“Oh for real?” he asked a bit surprised by your words “I always thought it was because we were both hella toxic.” you swung your hand and hit him in the stomach “OOF!” he folded in half, sending you sitting up “I forgot how aggressive you were too.” Yoongi’s voice was coming from between his teeth.

“I am serious! I feel like we went through our hard times and learned to manage, that is why we can talk about all these things like this.”

“Makes sense, we were each other’s shoulder. You start falling, I pull on you and the other way around.”

You noticed the contagious smirk on his face that mirrored onto you almost instantly “We fall together, we crawl back up together. Damn we sound inspirational.”

“I told you! We should make one of those vlog channels where people wake up at 5 am looking like damn models, meditate and finish all their work before 11am.” throwing your body back you fell onto the cover, but Yoongi didn’t join you. He staid sitting, letting you focus on his back as he continued “You know we are losers, right?”

“The biggest losers out there.”

He looked towards the sky letting the wind play with his hair, when suddenly you both burst out laughing. Your voices were so loud the birds flew away. “Yeah, we are.”

“Honestly tho Yoongs. Why did we care so much what people thought of us? I mean sometimes I still do but-”

“Same, same.”

“Don’t cut me off stupid!” you kicked him a bit “As I was saying!” you emphasized on ‘saying’ ,when he pinched your leg in retaliation a couple of times “Body types, dudes, girls, genderfluid or no gender at all. Being cute or stylish, pretty or ugly, was a mad waste of time. The nerd is gonna probably become rich, the ugly people will end up becoming better lookin that those basic Karens. I swear, even with all that bulling and people wanting be to be the top. With or without them the Earth keeps spinning .”

“Did you just discriminate flat earth people!?” he gasped cartoonish “Y/N, i didn’t know you were this type of person.”

“Yah! You really out here trying to cancel your best friend, Min Yoongi!”

“You don’t need me to do that, you already do it yourself with the stuff you say.”

“Says you, loser.” your words made him lean onto his elbow next to you, eyes focused on your face as the colors of the sky began fading over your bodies and skin

“I like that word, loser.” he said “It sounds rude, but at the same time no one calls you that if you aren’t different. Different means unique, special. Who tf would want to be the same as others?”

“That was us too stupid, back then.” Yoongi pocked your cheek a couple of times gently

“Yeah, but it’s not back then anymore Y/N. It’s now. We grew up. With our jaw and fist clenched we fought and made it here. They shot at us, they threw rocks and called us cowards, weirdos. But we made it through the darkness. After all that we are and will forever be bulletproof.” the sudden rustle of the grass under you two signaled him getting up and spinning, hands to the side. His head leaned back and he looked so happy. Yoongi’s eyes were closed, he could fall and not even notice, but he wasn’t afraid no more. Whatever happens will happen.

“You make us sound hella dope man. I love it.”

“Anxiety, social issues, any kind of mental problems and disorders. They level us up, as long as we try. At the end of the day you lose something to win something.”

“The end of the chapter is the beginning of the next.” you began to notice he was starting to lose balance from all that spinning around “Hey stupid, you will fall and hurt yourself like th-” you couldn’t even finish the sentence when his legs tangled up and he fell onto you “You ok?!That was such a stupid move! Open your eyes next time!”

“Why?” he became serious, his eyes looking into yours. Yoongi crooked his head to the side,as his fingers caressed your cheek “If I was looking I would have been too afraid to fall. At the end of it all i ended up failing and found a little angel. See? Win win to me. You can’t always see where you are going, but you gotta believe that good things are on the other side.”

“You are bleeding, that is what is on this side.”

“I am WHAT!” his forehead was a bit scratched “Damn it! My handsome face!”

“Oh come on! Wait till I glow up like that! I will get the best looking SO out there.” the child in you was pouting at Yoongi

“You know damn well we are too messed up for a relationship with others. We try and try, get used and then we either lose interest, or fall completely out of love for months. By the way...” his fingers found your cheek again, but this time it wasn’t a gentle poke but a sharp pinch. Your hands flew in the direction of his arm to try and make him let go of you. “Who told you you don’t look good?”

“Ow ow Yoongi! Let me go!!!”

“Not until you tell me who said all that crap to you!?” prying yourself from his grip you continued rubbing the now red and warm spot

“People i liked or others in general. You know how shit goes.”

“You for real need to get your eyes checked! People stare at you when you walk by cus you look TOO good.” his words were like a low growl of a jealous pet

“Nah man, they are either judging me or they want to fight me. There is no middle ground here.”

“You really!” with all the power in his hand he flicked your forehead

“Stop inflicting me wounds!”

“Then stop talking shit about yourself! I swear your bodydismorphia needs to join Jimin when he has talk sessions about his day with Hoseok.Plus, people do stare at you when you walk in town in the attracted way. On our way here at least 5 people turned back and continued looking.”

“Ew creepy!” you said “Why do you count them!”

“You little!!!Come here!” your neck found itself in a chokehold in a matter of seconds

“HYUNG!”Jungkook’s voice echoed through the park reaching your direction “Y/N AND YOONGI ARE BEING THE DEPRESSED AND FLIRTY AGAIN!”

“This kid I swear I will kill him some time soon!” you hissed at Jungkook

“You two really can’t drop this habit.” the slow and calm footsteps pulled your attention and soon subsided your anger

“Joon, you know how we are.” you added, leaning back onto you elbows

“I know, we are all like that.” Joon looked at you two sitting on the ground

“Y/N is right, broken pieces do find each other.” Yoongi added, but Joon sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He squatted down eye level

“Broken pieces find each other because they fit together and make a beautiful new bottle that they can fill up with happy memories. Our sad and hard pasts make us titanium that can’t be broken. Even if one of us cracks, we are all going to help him become stronger.” he reached his hand out, standing up “ You are not alone Y/N, we are going to be forever titanium. You have us and we have you now. We are not lonely or misérables with you.”

“WE ARE BULLETPROOF GUYS!” Jungkook yelled out again

“Yeah...we are.” with a smile shining brighter than ever ,you grabbed Joon’s hand.He pulled you up as you were holding onto Yoongi. When the chain starts no one can cut the bond. We pull each other up...is what you realized.

“Oh and.”

“Yes Joons?”

“Can you two date already or at least go out on a date. It hurts looking at yall like this.”

“What!?” the blanket in your hand turned into weapon as you began hitting him with it in a moment of panic. His words hit a nerve.Yoongi wasn’t the one to rush or to run. With his hands in his pockets he followed you down the hill. His footsteps stopped for a moment to look at the now dark sky.

We may not be able to see the stars during the day, but at night they are too many to even count. Nothing is truly hidden forever, even who you are meant to be. It’s ok not to know now or later. When we are young we dont really know. We try to fit in a mold that was created, but we can’t, we just can’t no matter how much we try.

We end up being labeled by the things we are different. Some come from a darker past, others don’t. Yet everyone is important, the way they feel, their emotions and inner state. If I could, I would grab your hand and show you a bit of the future. Think of this, your future self, the one that did it all finally and continues to dream big, is looking at you through memories. They grab your hand and push you forward towards the good. The tunnel may be dark, cold, lonesome and scary but it always leads to something. Just don’t give up.

Regret, unsuccessful love, residual feelings for someone who used you. They are all a stepping stone, don’t look at them. Now you know what not to do, EXP( experience points) come in many forms honey. Be who you want to be, life is yours. Be the main character in your story, not anyone else’s. Even if you fall sometimes, show everyone how amazing you are by standing up. Baby steps turn into miles, whispers become yelling, crawling becomes flying. Breaking the mold becomes you.

#bts scenario #bts scenarios #bts text #bts texts #bts text scenario #bts text scenarios #bangtan scenario #bangtan scenarios #bangtan text scenarios #bangtan text scenario #bts x you #bts x reader #bangtan boys scenarios #bangtan boys fanfic #bangtan boys scenario #bts and you #bts with you #be yourself

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wonwhomps · 4 years

Text

Y.H.R.Y.D

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Fem. Reader

Summary: After telling Seungcheol that you hate him and wish to never see him again, will it be too much if one day he appears in front of you telling you how much he missed you or will it start something that could've started years ago?

Genre: romance / fluff / angst

Words: 2602

『Reminder: This story is the sequel / part two of Lie Again. To better understand the situations written below, I suggest reading Lie Again first. Thank you!』

Sitting on one of the station's public bench, you waited for your assigned train to arrive. For the last 10 years of riding the train in order to go to school, work and back home, this will be the last time of waiting and boarding.

"I'm finally getting a car," you said while standing up and getting ready to enter the train.

Every time you wait at the same station after the tragic confession that happened 3 years ago, every word came back and you constantly think if there's anything wrong with how you look. You never forgot the words you also said to him that night.

"I wish I don't get to see you again", you sigh.

It's already 3 years, get a grip _____! You should be happy, 3 years of putting everything for work and now you're getting a car. Tomorrow.

With a sigh, you look out the window and enjoy the scenery of huge buildings passing by.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Incheon International Airport. Local time is nine-thirty pm and the temperature is twenty-three degree Celsius. (...) Have a nice evening!

Looking out the window, Seungcheol can see the familiar tall buildings and highways. Working in LA for almost 3 years, everything actually stayed the same... Or just the things that couldn't actually be changed.

"Did she change?" he whispered.

Resting his head over the window, "I want to see you again. I missed you,” he said.

"Ouch! I bit my tongue..." you woke up from daydreaming just the right time to get off the train.

"I wonder who's thinking about me? I did not bite my tongue on purpose... I'm not dumb!" Well except for the fact that I fell so damn hard to the man I don't dare say the name... and even meet. Psh.

Good thing there's not much people walking with you at the station. They might think that you're ill considering that you're talking out loud with no one else to talk to.

Tomorrow, there’s no need to buy tickets anymore. You’ll go home riding a car not a train. Tomorrow, you'll never get to remember what happened at the station 3 years ago. Tomorrow, you're moved on. It took you too long to finally convince yourself that you're over him.

For the past 3 years, you always say to yourself that you hate him, that you don't miss him even a single bit. But you find yourself trying to search his name on social media to see what's he up to these days. You can't help but sometimes worry about him, knowing that he's the breadwinner. You worry about him because you're his best friend before everything turned to ashes.

Your mind is full of wonders about him and his whereabouts for the last 3 years until you reach your home. It's only a walking distance from the nearest station up to your place. You did your routine, ate dinner and finally went to bed.

"A new day is waiting for me tomorrow. And a new car!" You excitedly said before closing your eyes and dozing off.

"Hyung! Over here."

Seungcheol couldn't believe that he's seeing his brother personally in 3 years of working overseas to send him to a decent school and provide a decent life for him.

"Video calls didn't inform me that you become taller!" He said showing his gummy smile to his younger brother while putting an arm on his brother's shoulder.

"How are you?"

"I'm glad that you're back, hyung. I missed you."

"You're too cheesy. You want something, don't you? I know your tactics. Let's go around town tomorrow. For now, let's go straight home." He said while hailing a cab.

jeo taeyang wiro my my my my my way~

-10 am-

A smile creeps on your face while you turn the alarm off, remembering something special about this day.

Owning a car is one of your dreams. Now that it's finally happening, you felt proud of yourself. Your parents are living on the countryside, that's why it is hard for you to visit them when you have a day off from work. With your dream car, you can now visit them whenever you want during your free time.

After eating breakfast, you took a shower and wore a black long-sleeve turtleneck shirt, mom jeans and black ankle boots. You put all your necessities inside your handbag and head outside to go to your chosen car's dealer shop.

While walking on the way to the station, you can't help but think of all the things that happened in years of riding the train. Although not all of them are happy ones, they're still a part of your train memories.

Seungcheol and his younger brother are on their way to the city to just spend some time together... and money.

He felt proud of where he is and what he is right now. He successfully raised his younger brother. Look at him achieving all of this. But something is still missing... Even after being with his brother, he still feels lonely. A sigh escaped his lips as he followed his brother who entered an electronic shop.

Before entering the shop, Seungcheol eyed something at the store beside the e-shop.

"I should probably start saving up for a car, sometime." He said while entering the shop where his brother welcomed him by pointing to a newly released computer.

"I thought I saw someone," you shrugged. "Must be someone I happen to see at the station. Geez. I think I'm familiar with everyone's faces after all the years of using the train as my main transportation." You said while entering the dealer shop.

Since you already settled the needed information last week, you are now signing some papers and the salesperson is telling you some stuffs about the car you chose. It's just a red sedan car, red has always been your favorite color.

Nothing special, except that you gave the color red a new meaning 3 years ago. Hatred and acceptance. It didn't change the fact that red is still your favorite color tho.

The salesperson told you that you can pick up your car later this afternoon. They still need to process your papers. So you decided to roam around the town, maybe buy some clothes or do a window shopping.

But you ended up sitting on one of the station's public chair, your eyes following the passing train. You don't want to be emotional or start any drama. You're just here because after all those years, the station somehow calms you. Weird, but it really does.

You stand up near the ticket booth, you suddenly remembered how both of you take turns on buying tickets. The one who arrives first buys the ticket for two.

How both of you wait for each other even until midnight for the sake of riding the train together. Cheesy, but that's how it goes back then.

All the laughter every time both of you accidentally bought two tickets, now holding a total of four tickets.

Moments when you lend your shoulders for him to rest his head on when he's exhausted from his part-time jobs.

How you didn't even feel bored at all whenever you're riding the train with him. All his dad jokes that you actually find yourself laughing to. Basically, standing here... brings back all the memories of your friendship. But you never really think of it as friendship, you assumed something was going on. And here you are, alone.

Seungcheol ended up buying his younger brother the new pc. Something for study, he said. Seungcheol knows better that it's not for study, but still bought it for him, this is the first time his brother ever asked something from him.

He was left walking around the town as his brother immediately went home after holding the magical box. Seungcheol looked at the red car that was being tested. "Someone bought it," he said. "That was actually what I'm eyeing earlier."

He was still tired after the long flight last night, so he decided to just go home instead of roaming around town. While walking towards the station, memories of 3 years ago flashed in his mind.

He saw how disappointed you were back then and how hurt you were. After seeing you turned your back to him that night, he badly wants to run to you and tell you the real feelings he feels about you, but he needs to provide a better future for his brother, so he needs to let one go.

He realized how foolish he was thinking that lying to you was the best option for everything, when he could've just said he's going away to work. "Things were done and there's nothing else I can do now." he sighed as he stand in line for the ticket.

You realized you were standing near the ticket booth and some passengers might think this is the official line. All your thoughts vanished when you feel someone stand behind you. "Shit." You said before turning around to politely say that this is not the line.

You froze.

You're not expecting things to happen like this. This is like the last time except it's him.

Seungcheol's eyes widen and his lips parted, trying to say something but nothing's coming out.

Staring at him feels surreal, it feels like one of those dreams you had before. He grew more handsome for the last 3 years. You bet he has a lover now, remembering how he rejected you back then. You wish he was yours.

Looking at him, you started saying things inside your head.

I thought I hate you. But the truth suddenly came out, I never really hated you. I was waiting for you to come to me that night when I turned around. But you never came. I lied about hating you. I lied about not wanting to see you again, because I badly want to see you. I want to love you. You're now here, again. I want to hold you but I'm afraid to be rejected again and that makes me want to run away from you.

You were about to leave, but he grabbed your arm. You can see that he wants to say something because his eyes tells you to listen.

"S-seungcheol... I have to go somewhere," you tried to escape. "I'm running lat-" !!

You were surprised when he suddenly hugs you... Tightly.

You remember his scent. You remember the time when he comforts you every time you need someone by your side, this feeling was the exact same feeling back then.

"I'm very sorry," he said while caressing your hair. "_____, I'm sorry."

I missed this.

"I missed you." Seungcheol said.

This must be a dream. You feel like crying after all those years of wanting to hear his voice and to feel his warmth. You want this, but a part of you says you need to let go.

And so you did.

You backed away from Seungcheol and started to walk away. Slowly.

Just like the last time.

You are silently waiting for him to come to you. Because if he does, you can't hide your feelings anymore. Now that he's here, your feelings for the past years suddenly came back.

You noticed that you are now near the exit of the station.

Maybe, he's just here to say sorry.

He's just here to say he missed me... Our friendship. To say sorry for the hurtful words he said to me. He's just here to end things more clearly. Maybe, I should too. I should turn around and say the words I wanted to say to him because now's the right time.

“We were friends, after all.”

You turned around and you suddenly felt a lips on yours. A pair of hands finding its way to rest on your hips.

Seungcheol deepens the kiss because of how unresponsive you are.

Everything's not processing, but you closed your eyes and started to move your lips against his.

Both of you feels like you're in a separate world where there's only the two of you, no one else.

Both of you parted lips when you both heard the station’s announcement.

The next train is arriving at platform X. All passengers who will board the next train, please stand by.

You looked at him. Still can't believe what happened. Same goes for him.

"_____, I love you," he pecked your lips and hands still resting on your hips.

"I.. uh," your phone rings.

You answered the call, Seungcheol's hands still on your hips, while looking at you. Memorizing all of you.

Seungcheol didn't expect already meeting you after arriving back here, and at the station too where everything started and paused.

He always believes that everything just paused between the two of you. That night was not the end. And here he is, holding you. Staring at you like he found something precious that he will take care of forever.

He waits for you to finish the call. He is mesmerized by your beauty. Indeed, everything he said back then were all lies.

After receiving the call, everything is suddenly processed. He just said the love word to you!

I mean, I love him. Not that I was just pressured when he suddenly said that. I was originally planning to say that when I turned around, but he just kissed me. Damn, we're still at the station. Should I say I...

"Love you?" your eyes widen.

"Are you asking me? Yes, I love you." Seungcheol can't hide his smile.

I just said that out loud, didn't I?

"No... I.. I was saying that I.. uh," you looked away. "I love you."

Seungcheol smiled as he hugs you again.

"_____, I want to tell you that I love you that night until today. Until forever."

xxxxx train arriving the platform.

Seungcheol looked at you.

"I'm supposed to take that train, you know? But I forgot to buy a ticket since it's you who's more important right now." he said.

Remembering the call you received, "I'll give you a ride."

His eyes widen.

"Aren't you a little straightforward, I mean... We just exchanged 'I love yous' earlier... Not that I'm saying that you're a little bold. But are you that hungry for me?" Seungcheol said like rapping, trying to avoid your eyes.

"What are you saying? My car is ready to go. I'm saying I'll give you a ride back home. Only if you want." you said, amazed by how his face started to be red like the color of your car.

Oh.

You can see how embarrassed he is right now. He can't even look at you properly. He just nodded, still not looking at you. Ears all red.

You hold his hand and walks towards the station's exit, back at the dealer shop to finally drive your car. With him. The one you love and the one who loves you, too.

Like how the stations and airports always say that the passengers reached their destination. I, too reached mine.

A/N:

I hope you reach yours, too.

Finally, after almost a year posting Lie Again, the sequel is now done. Lie again is a bit angst and I'm not really a fan of angst endings LOL. So if ever my stories ends with angst, expect that I'll write a sequel of that story. I hope you enjoy reading my works. To more stories together! I seriously thank you all esp my followers!

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