Session 9
This session was another dungeon crawler! We also hit level 4 by the end! A lot happened; it was also a very giggly session as we kept breaking out of character to laugh.
All of us were in attendance, and we have lots of highlights.
**
(Read more.)
We open up immediately after Tony (me) has had the dream, and DJ (doxblogsstuff) and Zira ( @heliocentricgeometric) are first up and chatting about breakfast. DJ would like to apologize to Tony for what happened the other day.
DJ: I was gonna try to apologize by making him breakfast.
Zira: doubt.jpg
Zira is not at all certain about DJ doing anything cooking-related, even though DJ insists he knows how to cut things up.
DJ: I'll have you know my professor told me I had the best prepared, and best cut ingredients of anyone in the class.
Zira: Of what, though?
DJ’s talents lie in alchemy, and Zira is very aware of this.
Zira: You are very good at exploding things, and I fear this talent will extend to everything you do.
DJ: I want to make breakfast, Zira! How hard can it be to make toast?
very hard
DJ does eventually do the toast thing.
Dox: DJ gets his bread out.
@the-grey-hunt as DM: Roll for toast.
Dox rolls pretty high, so DJ’s first attempts at making toast go well!
DM: DJ did just make toast perfectly competently in front of you.
Helio: Yeah, but Zira's still pressing X to doubt.
Dox: I can't believe I wasted my Nat 20 on toast.
Dox makes some more toast for everyone else but one of them is pretty charcoaled and that goes to Bob ( @thechaoticwave) since he can’t smell or taste.
Helio: Zira isn’t laughing in DJ’s face, but the energy is there.
Rhodey ( @rebaobsessions) gets a rather burnt piece as well but it’s Tony who gets a good piece because DJ’s feeling apologetic.
DJ to Tony: I made toast and didn’t even burn it!
Tony’s still reeling from the dream and the leather glove Bob threw at his head this morning.
Tony: Then why does Rhodey’s bread look rather burnt?
DJ asks for privacy from Zira so he can talk to Tony.
Zira: Have fun! Don't commit any murder!
DJ and Tony have a pretty heartfelt conversation as DJ apologizes for what happened yesterday. Tony’s a little uncertain about the apology because he did deserve it but DJ’s insistent.
They tie it up with talking about their upcoming mission.
DJ: Now we're gonna go and try not to get killed by a bunch of bugbears. This is gonna suck.
DJ then rushes off to make toast for Clint but doesn’t roll very well.
DJ, handing toast to Clint: If it makes you feel better, Bob's was worse.
Clint: It doesn’t.
Tony has a talk with Rhodey about some suspicious stuff Bob did.
Tony: Hey, uh, Rhodey...have you...uh...noticed anything...odd about Bob?
Rhodey probably internally: what the fuck isn’t odd about Bob
Rhodey: Odd?
Tony: (says something buckwild about Bob seeing things that aren’t there)
Rhodey: ...huh.
Rhodey does agree to keep an eye on things with Tony.
Rhodey: What's Bob's name today?
Tony: I have no fucking idea. I'm just calling him Bob.
Rhodey: So, you haven't asked yet. Good to know.
Tony’s a little sad since he had a good nickname for Bob the previous day.
Tony: What do you think he'd do if I call him Riff-Raff?
Rhodey: I have no idea.
Tony turns around.
Tony: Hey, Riff-Raff!
Bob doesn't respond.
Tony: Well, that answers that.
Reba in the lurking chat: Rhodey stares doubtfully at Tony’s back
We head to Cragmaw Castle! Clint volunteers to sneak.
Zira: That is horrifically structurally unsound. Good luck.
DM: Clint's character in a nutshell: dirty 20 followed immediately by a nat 1
We all have red cloaks from the Redbrands and we make sure we’re ready to go in.
DM to Bob: Your beak is still visible; there's not a lot you can do to hide that.
@imagine1117: Look down.
We’re all dressed to go bluff our way through the castle!
Zira: Tony, you are very good at bullshit. I think you should go first.
thanks for putting me on the spot, helio
Tony does manage to bluff their way past the guards by saying they scrammed from Briarbane because things went south. They gain access to the castle.
We (Tony & Zira) have a chat with a goblin sentry where Zira is critiquing their structurally unsound choice of a hideout.
Zira: This is absolutely terribly unsafe.
Goblin: What - do you want to go build something?
Tony: This is absolutely awesome and has great atmosphere.
Goblin: See - this guy gets it!
Tony says goodbye by telling him to have fun guarding. We’re then left to our own ends to find the boss who won’t be pleased with us having left Briarbane.
Zira: I assume the boss is behind the trap, because they're usually cowards.
We get further into the castle and there’s an area hidden behind a curtain. Tony suggests investigating and Rhodey and Bob take him up on it.
Reba: I roll 14 for stealth.
DM: Okay! (dice clattering on table)
There’s a monster that drops from the ceiling!
imagine: Is [the grick] slimy?
DM: Sure.
The grick goes down in no time.
DJ: Hey. Hey, you! (launches Magic Missile) Bitch.
Bob notices some people behind the curtain. Luna and then Rhodey both go to investigate. Rhodey notices a goblin’s foot behind the altar in the room.
DM: I forgot to roll initiative for some people.
Me: WHICH PEOPLE
DM: Don't worry about it.
imagine: We're worrying!
Me: Of course we're going to worry!
A goblin springs out from behind the altar and tries to attack Rhodey. It misses. DJ then attempted to whack the goblin with his quarterstaff but misses. Tony ran in and then shouted at the goblin to stop attacking because they were allies.
DM: For the record, because of how rounds work, Tony ran in and asked why they were fighting you guys simultaneously as DJ tried to hit him with his quarterstaff.
Helio: So Zira slips over to the doorway to the room, and sees Mom trying to commit murder, Dad attempting to soothe hurt feelings, and her brother doing whatever the fuck he’s doing.
Dox: Also trying to commit murder!
Bob unsuccessfully tries to set the goblin on fire.
There’s another goblin that springs out and this one looks more like a priest and notices our red cloaks and demands an explanation. Tony bullshits one about being from Briarbane.
DM (to me): Roll deception. He's going to roll competing insight - natural one. Don't even bother. He believes you instantly.
Rhodey “intimidates” the first goblin into giving up his weapon. It’s “intimidates” because he rolled a 21 and the goblin got a nat 20 so the goblin grudgingly handed over his scimitar because he was in the wrong.
Reba: I'm trying to get Rhodey to accumulate odd weapons.
We get out of the religious goblins’ way and Tony tells the first goblin to look before he attacks next time since otherwise he might get hurt. The advice is taken seriously.
Once we’re out in private we have a discussion on what to do the next time we meet some goblins. Tony is very serious about telling them that there will be no setting people on fire (to Bob) and no explosions (to DJ) since they will be talking their way through the encounters. So future encounters mean no raising weapons! He drills this into their heads.
DJ: I wanted to protect Mom!
Rhodey covers his mouth to stop laughing.
Rhodey: That’s great, but I don’t need protection.
Tony: But it’s a sweet thought, isn’t it, Hubby?
Everyone in the VC cracks up laughing.
Rhodey: Hubby?
Bob: Is that better or worse than "Rhodeo”?
Zira is confused about when we actually got married but then realizes it’s another nickname. Just a bad one that is not worse than Rhodeo.
Tony: You love all my nicknames. Don’t even lie.
We continue on this vein.
DM: Clint is still there, by the way.
thechaoticwave: I give him another arrow and bolt.
DM: Goddamn it.
Rhodey is decidedly unimpressed with Zira mentioning Rhodeo.
Rhodey: Please, I would take any nickname over “Rhodeo.”
Zira, cheerfully: Okay, Mom!
We continue onwards and don’t run into anymore issues aside from two hobgoblins. Rhodey rolls a great performance check after Tony says he has to walk in like he’s supposed to be there. The hobgoblins are easily enough fooled and direct us to where the boss is as Tony asks if he’s in the usual place.
Most of the group is really uncertain about going to where the boss is so Tony opts for majority opinion. Clint pulls them back and they do end up knocking on the boss’s door.
Bob hides behind Clint since he can’t hide his beak. He also stuffs his new glass staff into Tony’s bag of holding.
thechaoticwave: How tall is Clint?
DM: Hang on, let me Google how tall Jeremy Renner is.
Our employer is in the room! Along with one bugbear, one pet wolf, and one drow (who is working for the Black Spider). They’re irritated to see us but we’re still in disguise and Tony tries to bluff his way through it but we reach a stalemate.
Bob really wants to set things on fire and asks Tony if he can. Tony nods; Rhodey catches the nod. The three of them get in a surprise round!
Bob heads over to our employer and heals him some.
This is the first time we’ve spoken to Ryss since session 1.
Bob: Hey, what's crackalackin?
We’re in actual combat and Dox realizes something important about our combat order...
Dox: When did Clint go?
DM: FUCK
The drow - badly injured - transforms into a mirror image of Rhodey! ...They’re still on fire.
Reba: I want to hit the drow.
DM: What drow? There's just Rhodey.
Mid-combat, Bob asks Tony for his glass staff. I take up an entire action to throw the staff right to him. One awesome DEX save later and Bob catches it.
Zira moves to attack the drow, who still looks like Rhodey. She switches personalities to 465.
DM: So 465 doesn’t give a shit about Rhodey?
Helio: 465 doesn’t give a shit about anyone.
We defeat the drow and the bugbear and the wolf! And there’s loot! And Ryss is okay! We have a map to the Lost Mine!
Reba about the bag of holding: It's an Armory of Holding and a Bag of Healing.
Clint heads off with Ryss (several bolts and arrows later) once we sneak out the castle the back way. The rest of the group will head off to the Lost Mine next session!
Aaaaand that’s a wrap! (And so much bullshitting but surprisingly not many lies.)
11 notes
·
View notes