#s3 coming out tomorrow babey !!

[paperpocalypse]

case 254.

50 Cliché Tropes and Prompts: 1. There’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow you’re close Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader Word Count: 1,591 words Warnings: Swearing, violence

You are, by all accounts, married to your work.

And you are a loyal lover. The briefcase is your certificate, the bullets your vows. You keep them close wherever you go. Twenty-four years in the Commission is nothing to sneeze at, and you have never – not once – been unfaithful.

… Not in action, at least. Recent thoughts of retirement have begun tempting you to the point of an emotional affair.

(You’d get married, maybe. To a person, not a job. Live in a one-story home with a pond in the backyard and not too far from the nearest Walmart, adopt a little dog that you and your spouse spoil to bits. You’d die peacefully in your sleep instead of bleeding out in an alleyway somewhere.)

“Shit.”

Coughing, you spit and wipe your mouth with the cuff of your sleeve. Damn Arnie made you bite your own tongue.

“The police will be here any minute!” he yells through the walls, and something clatters to the ground. “You can’t make me go back!”

“I’m not making you go back, Arn,” you call back, exasperated. “I got an order to kill you.”

“Oh, fuck off!”

You chuckle and stumble back to your feet.

Arnold had been a loyal employee of the Temps Commission for twenty years. He specializes in 18th century weaponry, his kill count is in the hundreds, and he relies on cigarettes in the same way you rely on coffee. He is also a friend of yours – or the closest thing a Temps assassin can have to a friend – and that’s probably why the Board sent you to kill him.

They had given you two days. You had promised one.

It’s been three.

“You shouldn’t have tried to sell your briefcase to the military, Arnie!”

Arnie doesn’t reply. The squeal and slam of a door grates on your ears, and you swear aloud, rushing to the bathroom.

You break the door open and don’t hesitate to fire in quick succession, just barely missing a shoe slipping from the windowsill.

Clicking your tongue, you pause.

“Dammit.”

Something small and cylindrical is lobbed through the window, bouncing and rolling to a stop at your feet.

“Dammit!”

You book it out of the bathroom, rounding a corner and diving to the ground just as the grenade explodes. The floor shivers. You cover your ears and hold your breath.

If people had ignored the ruckus beforehand, they certainly can’t now.

Panting, you scrape yourself off the floor, reaching back to pull your Glock out and heading back to the bathroom. “Son of a bitch …”

Smoke and burst pipes and rubble are all that remains of the bathroom. Your heart drops to your stomach when you recognize the guts of your Commission briefcase among the rubble. This has got to be the second-worst fumble of your career; you should’ve thrown the briefcase out first and then run out. Your rifle is a lost cause too.

Shaking your head, you approach the gaping hole in the wall and slowly clamber down the side of the building. Arnold couldn’t have gotten far, not with a concussion and the bullet in his leg. Thank goodness. You don’t have as much stamina for high-speed chases as you used to.

The same moment that you land on a patch of broken bricks and dirt, the sound of a gunshot resonates behind you.

You immediately whip around, firing a shot into Case 254’s head before you can even register that his back had been facing you.

Arnold collapses, dead, onto the ground a few meters away from you. Your lips part. You quickly look back up and keep your gun poised.

A man points his rifle back at you.

“Got him before you did,” he tells you, voice low and gruff.

There’s a briefcase at his feet.

“Did the Board think I couldn’t handle this one?” you ask, aiming between the man’s eyes. You like the way he speaks, even though it pisses you off. He’s confident. “Or do they think I defected too?”

“Did you?” he challenges.

Not in ways they can punish. “If I did, Arnie wouldn’t have tried to blow me up with an MK3.”

“… Humph.”

Sirens are getting ever louder. The two of you lower your weapons; you’re no longer wary of this fellow assassin, but the glare he’s fixing you with makes you want to rile him up.

“Tell me your name, hotshot,” you say, walking over to Arnold and rummaging through his clothes.

He grunts sourly. “Why would I tell you anything?”

“To make conversation.” You find some loose change and a coupon for a tanning salon – alright – but what you’re really interested in is the copy of the briefcase’s blueprints. You pocket everything. “It stimulates the mind. I think you might need that in your old age.”

When you face the man fully again, he rolls his eyes.

Then he literally disappears into thin air.

You blink. The dots connect as quickly as the flaring lights of police cars shine around the corners of the building, and a frenzied laugh escapes your lips.

“What a gentleman.”

Guess the rumors were right – the Commission’s new darling, Five, is a genius as well as an asshole.

On the other side of the apartment complex, the detective tells officers to surround the building. You quickly put your gun away and take off before they reach the back.

“I heard someone running! Over here!”

You run until you reach a chain-link fence, locating a spot where the mesh had peeled away from the post and slipping through with gritted teeth. The air inside your mask weighs on your skin, hot and thick from your heavy breathing. Your feet already hurt. You should’ve invested in those gel insoles Arnold told you about before he decided to defect.

“Stop! This is the police!”

You hold back a groan. You’re getting too old for this shit.

But you keep going anyways. You keep running, turn a corner and cut through back alleys, knock out the few people you pass who are unlucky enough to be out at two in the morning. And for some reason, they keep pursuing you, getting closer and closer –

You hear something like a muffled pop of air. A hand grips your arm and drags you into an alley.

You scramble for your Glock, but as soon as your fingers brush its handle, it disappears. Five pushes you down behind a dumpster and shoves a hand up your mask to cover your mouth. It takes everything in you to keep from gagging when you land on a trash bag way too wet-sounding for your liking.

“Quiet.”

You huff, tearing his hand away. Your arm is pinned against his sternum, your head much too close to his. His breathing is quiet, measured, and slow.

(He’s used to this. Used to running, used to hiding, just like you.)

Five runs warm. You like it in the same way that you like the way he speaks.

Footsteps hurry past your hiding place, then fade into the distance.

After waiting about ten more minutes, you let your head knock back against the wall. “Shit.” You chuckle. “I owe you one, Mr. Five.”

Five doesn’t acknowledge your gratitude. Instead, he pushes himself away from you and drops your Glock into your lap, then grabs his briefcase and stands up. Though you resent the loss of heat, you join him with a more appropriate amount of space between the two of you.

“I’ll take you back to headquarters,” Five states, sounding as if his teeth are about to be pulled.

“Thank you kindly,” you reply. “It must be my lucky day, getting my hide saved and escorted by the Commission’s rising star.”

“I’m sure.” His tone is dry.

Sirens wail as you tell him your name.

“I know,” Five mutters, unclipping the briefcase. “You were mentioned in the kill order for your pal back there.”

Ah. You nod, smiling a bit tightly, and put your hands on the briefcase as well. “Of course.”

A flash, and you’re both back in 1955, the sun too bright and the air too stale. You feel the beginnings of a headache.

“Still hate time travel after twenty plus years,” you comment, letting go. “Did using your powers have the same effect?”

Five regards you silently, lips pursed. “Hard to recall,” he finally says, snapping the briefcase shut.

“The lab’s developing some meds for the side effects. Apparently, they’re doing trial runs soon.”

“That so.”

“Yes.” You squint up at HQ, brush off your suit, and exhale loudly. “Anyway, I better get going. See you later, Mr. Five.”

A muscle in his jaw twitches. “Just Five is fine.”

“See you later, Five,” you emphasize with a grin. “Maybe we’ll be able to team up in the future.”

All he does is cast you an unimpressed glance before disappearing through one of his teleportation portal things.

You stare at the now empty space and sigh, putting your hands on your hips. Well, the apocalypse doesn’t exactly make one a good conversationalist. (Either that, or he finds you insufferable.)

As you stroll into the Commission building to turn in the briefcase blueprint and procure another briefcase, you think of your life so far. You think of your marriage to your work, of the sleepless honeymoon stage and the bitter taste of the past ten years. You think of that dark alley, of that moment of companionship, one-sided though it was.

And maybe you find yourself just a little more unfaithful.

#cliché tropes and prompts #source: bucky-plums-barnes #five hargreeves imagine #five hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy five #the umbrella academy #tua #five x reader #five imagine #tua fanfic #fanfic #reader insert #silververse #s3 coming out tomorrow babey !! #forgive me for the person i am about to become

[skinks]

get to know me more 🍓

i got tagged by truffs @trufflesmushroom and I’m procrastinating... also I haven’t done one of these in a while so!!! here we go

🍓 what do you prefer to be called name wise?

Joe, but it’s in my bio so ppl know that already. a lot of people call me Jo irl but I can hear they’re not adding the e

🍓 when is your birthday?

06/06 which is convenient bc it’s the same in both the regular, normal configuration of months and days and also in the american one! it’s the day before Bill Hader’s which is nice. Letting me come before him. He’s so considerate

🍓 where do you live?

Scotland. east coast babey

🍓 three things you are doing right now?

packing in preparation to return my hire car tomorrow, air-drying my naked bod, procrastinating at literally everything else

🍓 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

I kinda prefer to just enjoy various things rather than say I’m In A Fandom, or Not In X Fandom Any More, especially when my involvement never goes beyond reblogging things and reading fic. But with that said, unsurprisingly I’m still.... eyeballs deep in IT chapters 1 & 2. Reddie. There literally hasn’t been a single day since ch2’s release when I haven’t thought about it, it’s intense. There’s so much amazing art and fic and I love talking about it, plus there’s still fic I’d like to write so I’m staying put for the time being

Aside from that, I’m excited for the new Assassin’s Creed, my AC feelings always flare up with a new release. Uhh... horror movies in general... I’m stoked for Barry s3, Tenet, The Green Knight, idk man between clown stuff and travelling I haven’t been paying attention to much else. OH I’m super interested in what Ben Wheatley does with the next Tomb Raider movie 👀

🍓 how is the pandemic treating you?

I’m extremely fortunate that I’ve been in New Zealand for the whole thing and it was handled very well. I spent lockdown with relatives out in the countryside hiking and biking and walking dogs, so I really can’t complain. I’m the fittest I’ve been in like 12 years

🍓 song you can’t stop listening to right now?

omg so many... I have one playlist on repeat whenever I’m driving but “He’s There... And Then He Does THAT” by Toehider really fucks

🍓 recommend a movie.

how can I pick one ugh.... Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes. I could say Mandy or Paper Moon or The Fall but I feel like Alpha got overlooked

🍓 how old are you?

26

🍓 school, university, occupation, other?

uni dropout, ex-farm hand 😔 soon to be job-seeking

🍓 do you prefer hot or cold?

HOT. HOT WEATHER, eternal summer, endless heatwave pleaaaase I’ve had enough chilly windy scottish bullshit to last a lifetime

🍓 name one fact others may not know about you.

I believe in aliens but I don’t believe in ghosts

🍓 are you shy?

my social anxiety is leagues better than it used to be, I have no problem talking to strangers or on the phone etc but I don’t know about talking in front of an audience. Idk. Haven’t had any reason or inclination to try

🍓 do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her

🍓 any pet peeves?

people who don’t shut up during movies holy shit I didn’t pay to hear your running commentary. people who drive slow as fuck until the part of the road you can overtake and then they speed up??

🍓 what’s your favorite “dere” type?

I don’t know what any of them mean except for tsundere!!!!

🍓 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

maybe a 7 rn

🍓 what’s your main blog?

it’s this one lmao [grinch voice] you put your glasses back on and face the hyperfixations

🍓 list your side blogs and what they are used for.

@fyeahedgechronicles for the Edge Chronicles book series and @merhymn is a colour blog. both very inactive

🍓 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

I’m so bad at keeping regular communication! 😬 I ghost people for weeks and months sometimes but I don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that if I don’t feel like I’ve anything worthwhile to say or contribute then I don’t say anything at all bc I feel like I’m bothering people. I love my friends but sometimes I forget that just because I don’t mind weeks of incommunicado it doesn’t mean everyone is cool w/ that

tagging @thewintermusketeer @benevolentbridgetroll @shrikestrike @iwritesometimes @greymichaela @wordssometimesfail @rockcandyshrike @meremeduse @pohjanneito @lemon-wedges @djtookutz

[dizzybunnies]

s3 theory (spoilers ig)

ok so this is concerning the pickup from the s2 finale so like if u havent seen that then scroll on down

ok so i was thinking. ykno that popular theory that cass is gothel’s kid? well lets do some quick maths babey!!

cass says shes 4 years older than rapunzel in keeper of the spire. rapunzel, as we know, is 18, as stated in the original 2010 movie.

that means that within 4 years, gothel and cass split up. gothel had to get her hands on raps, so she must have put cass up for adoption, because according to the fandom wiki (i cannot for the life of me remember when this happened, but i am assuming its true to help this theory out) the crownguard isnt her biological dad.

that being said, i doubt they had her around at the castle for 18 years until raps came home, and im sure there were no other ladies-in-waiting, considering there was no princess. its possible they had one on stand-by for a few years, but i doubt a literal newborn would need a lady-in-waiting.

ladies in waiting are also typically high-rank/noble, and are meant to servants AND companions to royals, so its highly likely that cass was hired within a few days of rapunzel’s return. like the king was probs like “yo crownguard. u got a daughter we can use as rapunzel’s lady-in-waiting lmao” and he was like “yea shore”

so cass is of course like, fuck yeah, i can finally start proving how kickass i am. point being she was hired with no connection to rapunzel at all, and by the end of s2, it had only been about a year since they had met, and while a lot can happen in a year, the opposite is true in terms of trust.

so s1 happens, and so does the majority of s2. then the house of yesterday’s tomorrow happens, and we see her coming out of the door at the end. if you look at the door, it looks like a beautiful forest--suspiciously so, considering it looks strikingly similar to the forest gothel’s tower was in.

so she walks out looking all somber and depressed. could she have seen something about her past? did she see gothel giving birth to her, raising her with love for 4 years, and then suddenly abandon her at some orphanage (and she thinks that hey, maybe her and eugene arent so different after all) to go and kidnap the lost princess that she herself later attended to?

wow. so she went through an awful childhood because of raps? the girl who hasnt been trusting her lately, the girl she serves to, the girl that didnt correct her/dismiss her when she addressed her as “your highness” instead of her loving nickname “raps”? (cue fuck this shit im out)

she finally though being a lady-in-waiting could be her big moment. she could prove she was awesome, that she could lead a squad, that she could protect royalty, but what has she been doing? following orders. being betrayed of trust. being hurt at the hands of the woman shes supposed to devote her life to. and for what? 

so no. fuck that shit.

aaaand the finale happens. her destiny? obviously she was put in this position to take the stone for herself to prove how great she can really be. all this time, she was being tested. her courage, her strength, her patience all led her to this very moment.

so the rocks were guiding HER there, but in order to play things off smoothly, the rocks also appeared to be there for raps; it would have been suspicious otherwise. likely, they also hid the fact that there were equally there for eugene, who was meant to take the stone himself as nobody was sure what would happen to rapunzel if he didnt. again, made sense, played smoothly, not suspicious at all. but the deep, dark, motive? eugene and raps were just pawns in the game of CASS’ destiny. they had to be there to 1) help her get there and 2) arouse no suspicion.

well fuck that, raps thinks except more politely because she would never say fuck, because rapunzel’s been betrayed for the third time within a year and honestly she literally she would rather watch paint dry at this point.

luckily, however, eugene still has fight in him, and is like well shit i need to get that damn stone back so we can reunite it with the sundrop, and because rapunzel cant touch it or at least not touch it until its safely in our posession because we dont know what could happen to her, i guess its up to me to save the day, and he yeets to cassandra and the two get in an epic fistfight except its only epic for cassandra because shes as strong as thanos now

so the two fight, raps is probably having a simultaneous heart and panic attack as she watches her boyfriend and best friend killing each other, and wow thats pretty tramautic but we dont need to get into that.

at one point, because this is disney and if raps is the sun then eugene is the moon, eugene is able to call upon the power of the moonstone to defeat cass. it probably somehow merges with him as well as she, but because hes the dark prince and has dark blood, it resonates with him better. maybe it breaks into to pieces; his is about 2/3 of the stone while cass’ is 1/3. eventually, the thirds reuinte and cass is drained of all power, probably unconcious on the ground, and raps, not knowing how to feel, shouts for her. no answer. she whispers eugenes name, and he turns around and his eyes are the brightest shade of blue shes ever seen, and maybe he has a sickass blue streak of hair, but he says nothing, and hes standing over cass’ unconcious form and raps is still scared fucking shitless in the corner. she repeats his name, and he shouts, and hes covered in evil magic, and rocks are spreading everywhere, and maybe some cool ice stuff too idk, and pause. 

you know pokemon? ok and you know that Cool Ash Pokemon moment when one of ashs pokemon evolves or learns a new move, and it loses its shit? think pikachu, think infernape, think greninja, think lycanroc. they lose their shit and ash being ash just dashes to them and gives em a big ol hug. 

unpause, rapunzel is ash and eugene is ash’s pokemon. hes hurting her but has no control and hes screaming, and shes saying she loves him and shes holding him tight and shes crying and damn its really angsty.

eventually his magic calms down and he slumps to the ground, and hes like half awake and he asks what happened, and rapunzel explains everything, and cass wakes up, and the angst is over because this is disney so we need a happy ending damnit (even though we know cass isnt at their wedding in the future but hey. hey you. shut up. shush.)

so yeah the angst is over and raps explains what happened with cass and the three become friends again and eugene and raps kiss so the moonstone and sundrop are finally united, all three of their destinies have been fulfilled, and the rest of the season is the three of them living life happily and eugene eventually asking rapunzel to marry him!

babey.

#JEWRKWEHT #tangled #tangled series #spoilers #tangled theories