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piracytheorist · 4 years

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Happy Whumpmas (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*🎅⛄❄️!!! You have just been snowballed by a secret whumper. Help to keep the snowball fight going by anonymously sending this to five other whumpers with a whump-related question of your choice: What will you do if you could do a 25episode show of Killian's whumpy adventures?(you can give titles for the ep if you feel inspired ;p )

Okay… how far am I actually allowed to take it?

I actually have an idea for a MC that’s continuously whumpy from various aspects and could last 25 chapters but a) it’s heavy, b) an AU and c) I don’t wanna give out spoilers. So I’m gonna come up with something right now, for canon Killian Jones.

So. Exploring some of his whumpy backstory :)

Some time when he was in servitude. I headcanon that Killian was about 17 when he escaped it (nevermind that the show did a horrible job at depicting that, but lbr how many years would he have to work in such horrible conditions to pay off half a fucking rowboat) so everything will depend on how much you’re okay with whumping a teenager. Yes, we’re talking about whipping, but also isolation, being denied food, forced to work harder, etc etc. Maybe as an extra, the time when he gets that wound that forms into his cheek scar.

His first punishment while in the Navy, where he realizes it’s not all what Liam had looked up to. Maybe, in some ways, it felt worse than when they were servants. And then the first thoughts of rebellion start coming in; aren’t they, technically, servants, still? They traded one servitude for another when they could have been free… but he stops himself. He needs Liam and looks up to him so much he doesn’t dare defy this now. If Liam thought it was needed, then he’d endure it - after all, he had managed to destroy their first chance at freedom. He deserves it. Hello self-loathing my old friend. So he wraps his arms around himself, trying to sleep and ignore the pain at his back.

A day where they’ve attacked an enemy ship and he gets pretty well whumped. I’ve actually written that already (cw: blood)

The first time he gets punished for going rogue. It’s heavy shit. The navy ship after him kills half his men, takes the rest as prisoners, whips Killian in front of them, then leaves him as is tied to the mast for the rest of the journey (idk how realistic that is based on, well, his wounds, and actual tactics of navy forces. anyways).

Continuing from the previous part, they reach port, Killian and his crew are to be hanged. Killian is weakened from his wounds, but that doesn’t stop some guards from entering his cell and beating him in front of his remaining crew. A bit before the time for their execution, they manage to escape, dragging Killian with them. A long, painful time of trying to fight his infection occurs, but he’s a tough nut ain’t he.

It’s pretty similar to number 5 but I’ve already written it so.

Milah has joined his crew. I also have this headcanon that they were first friends with benefits, then friends with benefits with awkward obvious feelings between them but no-one would say anything. During that time, they attack a navy ship and Killian gets pretty badly injured. Milah takes care of him, like maybe a bit too much, and doesn’t leave his side all night. I mean, they were already doing that, but staying with him as he lies in bed injured and helpless, well…

AnotherOneBitesTheDust.mp3 Milah is dead and Killian is battling infection on his freshly severed wrist. I know there are writers who have written or discussed about that part, and canon is a bit wonky if I’m honest, like it should’ve taken a LOT of time for it to heal… but whatever it’s fictional and I do shit as I like. A lot of pain, a lot of fever, a lot of nightmares leading to a lot of sleeplessness, only to lead to…

Peter Pan’s antics, rated M.

The Last Time Killian Didn’t Listen to Peter Pan. I don’t know what it was, but it must have been pretty bad. Maybe rated M too.

Having left Neverland for good, waking up with a horrible hangover and his chin hurting like a bitch. He definitely doesn’t understand what Smee is talking about when he says he came back with a blonde wench last night.

In the 28 “frozen” years in Cora’s bubble, he oversteps his boundaries, reading one of her spell books out of boredom. Cora ties him to a pole overnight, during a rainstorm.

There are some quite interesting thoughts he could have had while beaten up, hit by a car, and chained to a hospital bed. Occasionaly mentions of him being in pain, but also a lot of angst realizing “completing” his revenge isn’t feeling any fulfilling at all, maybe it was all for nothing, all the pain he’d caused to others and himself trying to achieve it…Fuck it, no, he’ll just have to find another way.

The painful journey from the hospital to his ship to find and free Anton the “giant”, then after Cora’s betrayal, the equally painful journey back to his ship to New York City to somehow locating Gold and stabbing him… then losing his goddamn senses.

The slightly less painful but much more humiliating (and annoying) trip back to Storybrooke in Tamara’s truck.

(Why are there so few canon whump opportunities in s3?) Nearly getting drowned in 3x20. Coming out of it must have felt a bit uncomfortable.

Undeniably, the time of Gold taking his heart. Like, the moment it happened. The first night he spent heartless. I doubt he slept at all. The next morning, him worrying, angsting, occasionally getting some squeezes from his ole crocodile.

The time of recovery after getting his heart back. Emma joining him, he’s too tired, he just wants to sleep, he has horrible nightmares but she’s there for him, and it just feels weird, to have someone take care of him in that situation… and he ends up crying in her arms.

I know the next six weeks are supposed to be six weeks of calm for him but come on he’s a magnet for disaster and whump so something, even just a bit light, happening to him. Bonus if there’s some Captain Charming or Captain Book bonding during it.

Okay so, like, the next time I can find and/or insert canon whump to explore is during his time in the Underworld. That’s quite a time jump, but we’re also nearing the end of the list, so yeah. A chapter full of glorious moments of that time :)

The time where he was beaten by the Lost Boys in s6 before Emma found him. Yeah, show, you’re not convincing me. I know she supposedly healed him after he proposed she found him but still lol yeah it deserved some focus.

WISH HOOK COUNTS SO. First time he gets sick, with Alice young and unable to do anything for him. Angst and fear and various sickness tropes, but he gets better.

Right after getting his heart poisoned, he tries to go back up but it gets worse. Eventually he collapses next to the tower base. And it starts raining. Wonderful.

Idk I can certainly imagine a time after that where he got whumped and he was drunk and/or craving for a drink. Maybe he was already a mess and some bandits attacked him? Left him wounded and he had to drag himself to a healer, enduring their judging stares.

Finally, focus on the three times his poisoned heart acted up (in canon), and the one that killed him. But he’s Killian Jones so he comes back to life, naturally.

#Killian Jones #whump #this was harder than I had expected #and actually came up with another silly whumpy plot #before I came up with the idea for those #but thanks for asking!#it was definitely fun finding stuff for inspiration #also #I may wanna do number 18 at some point...#Anonymous #ask and ye shall receive

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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But I think Nick will die for June at the end (Max, here is your chance to instill some life into the character, right before he dies. Ha) Oh, and yeah... people giving him a pass are just ridiculous. Granted he had little power, but he was driving when the commanders came up with the ceremony idea, and who knows what else he’s privy to in those 500 millions car rides. He has an important job, easy access to anywhere including the borders, knows a shit ton about the inner workings of Gilead.

Never did he try to escape, and share that intel with the rest of the world. It would’ve been so easy for him to do. Fine, let’s say he’s with the resistanc, trying to fight from within, but honestly he’s not done much on that front either. The previous handmaid killed herself, and he couldn’t do much for the current one. Never mind the others. Basically nothing in the past 5 years or so… why is he so great?

This is what annoys me about all the Serena hate. Sure, she’s awful… but she gets more hate than everyone else, including Fred sometimes. What about aunt Lydia? Carrying out daily punishments to all handmaids, literally has mutilated every sinlgle one of them.. but but she really really loves them!!

Or commander Joseph? He was the architect of the financial system, and also the colonies (if I remember correctly). Oh I don’t know, sounds like a big deal… but but he’s so quirky, and throws out a few funny one liners. Anyway, in conclusion, Serena good, everyone else sucks (j/k, sort of). Rant over.

—

This is such a huge, complex issue. This is gonna get loooooooooooonnnnnnngggggggggg.

Personally, I’m tired of the “he had little power” argument for Nick. It’s akin to “He’s just following orders” imo. The Nuremberg defense. He wasn’t that powerless, lbr. He’s a man. With a brain. The ability to say, “Um, no thanks.” Which puts him in incredible power over every single woman, including Wives. Maybe at the beginning when he was a mere driver he had less power (but he still had the ability to say no). But he still had a damn voice and opinion, and what did he do with it? Supported the Handmaid system. Blatantly. Barely any hesitation. Nick has been complicit in Gilead from the very beginning when he was literally hand-picked by Pryce because he was a disillusioned, entitled, little man with anger issues. (Hmm, sounds familiar to a lot of the ultra-right MRAs now.) He could have said no. I’m sure he could have even gotten out of that cesspool as soon as he saw where it was heading. Pryce is one of the OGs of Gilead. Nick stayed quiet and continued to support him, for years and years and years. Then he directly supported Waterford, another Gilead OG, for years. He did literally NOTHING to help any women at any point, until June came along and only then did he help her, but not women in general. Just June. He is so incredibly selfish and self-serving. But hey, woobie cinnamon roll. Blah.

Now, is it understandable? Sure. Nobody wants to be poor, sent to a labour camp, or die. But maybe Nick could have just been an Economan? He could have been a soldier. He could have been a rebel! Who knows. I never once saw him threatened with anything at all, except in 2x10/2x11. Sort of. I do get why Nick would stay quiet, keep his head down, and as man --have no concept of what he was doing. But I don’t think that absolves him of his involvement. Which is essentially my issue with him.

Even in mid-S2 he still had NO concept of what women really experience in Gilead. His whiny bullshit to June about not wanting to fuck Eden was just... the moment I realised he has literally learnt and absorbed NOTHING. He was literally whinging to JUNE WHO IS RAPED EVERY MONTH about how he doesn’t want to have sex with Eden.

Like, yeah, I wouldn’t want to rape a child either. (And yes, I do consider it rape regardless of whether Eden says she wants to do it or not. She has no concept of even the ability to consent. She thinks she HAS to or die, and Serena has confirmed that repeatedly.) And it’s a fucking horrible choice: rape a child or be hanged for being gay. Holy shit that’s awful. So, in a way, it’s mutual rape??? Well, that’s sort of awful since Eden isn’t doing anything at all. But Nick is being abused by the very system he helped organise. Funny that. (Not funny.)

I am just so fucking glad June called him on it. But it’s that sort of attitude and behaviour that makes it really hard for me to consider Nick an honest to goodness Good Guy, rather than just a Nice Guy TM. It’s not like it was just a flashback, it was current Gilead.

And because of that lack of understanding on his part, I think that’s why he’s done basically nothing. Honestly? What has he done for the resistance?

...

Um.

1. Gave letters to Luke.

...

That’s it.

(Don’t get me started on that whole “these letters are so revolutionary!!!” subplot cos it was so nonsensical when there are literal human beings saying the same things RIGHT THERE lol.)

Not that it’s not a big deal. It was very important. But that’s literally all he has done for the resistance as an entity. Everything else has just been for June, specifically, which is, essentially for his own sense of well-being. He has SO MUCH DIRT on Waterford, at least. And like you said, he has so much background on Gilead as a whole. He knows every in and out of it and has nothing with it. At least that we’ve seen.

Other things he’s done? Ignoring June’s “misbehaviour”. Fucking June. Acting as a decoy to protect June at the house in the woods. Helping Serena forge security documents and various things (which is not for the resistance either but it was a Good Thing, but if we’re gonna give credit to him for that ya gotta give it to Serena (and June) too). Everything he’s done in terms of smuggling and Jezebels--which is not at all for the resistance and only benefits the men.

He’s just not that great.

ANYWAY. ENough about Nick. He’s not worth it lol.

This is what annoys me about all the Serena hate. Sure, she’s awful… but she gets more hate than everyone else, including Fred

THIS. IS. IT.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INFURIATING THING IN FANDOM.

I AGREE 100000000%.

Serena by far gets the most hate, for ANY POSSIBLE THING. I think it’s come to the point where Serena could just walk a certain way and viewers would criticise her for which foot she put first. This woman BY FARRRRR gets the blame for everything. More than Fred.

And we all know why.

Don’t even get me started on the fan-boner for Commander Lawrence. Oh my god, he’s so quirky and weird! He didn’t rape Emily! WHAT A GREAT GUY!!!! I HOPE HE’S IN S3!! I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT HIM!!! HE’S SO AWESOME!

No.

He’s a fucking creep.

His wife is literally so traumatised by his existence she’s gone somewhat insane, so he LOCKS HER IN HER ROOM. “For her own good”, ofc.

He created the financial system AND the Colonies.

We literally have no idea if he’s beaten women, withheld anything, or raped them during Ceremonies. (I would assume he has. A man who invents the fucking Colonies doesn’t seem like the sort of dude to draw the line at state-sanctioned rape or corporeal punishment. So, let’s assume that at least he’s participated in Ceremonies in the past.)

But hey, he played some Annie Lennox and has cool comic books! And look, what an amazing man he is for helping Emily escape! He’s got such a pure heart!

Yes, the man who invented radioactive concentration deathcamps for gay/feminist/old/barren/adulterous women. He’s such a paragon of peace and feminism. We all should love him.

I...

CAN’T...

EVEN.

Meanwhile, yes, Serena has done fucking horrible things. (She did NOT invent the Handmaid system however.) But wait... HORRIBLE IRREDEEMABLE CUNT!!!!!!!!!! NEVER FORGIVE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE HATES WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And there is literally no interest in discussing her rationally, or even attempting to understand why she does what she does. BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO DIE!!!

(The gendered slurs towards Serena often are also very, very telling.)

I have no problem with people hating Serena, or criticizing her. Good. She deserves it.

I do have a problem holding her to some different standard than literally ANY OTHER CHARACTER. While actively ignoring the horrible shit the men do on a regular basis. The two most hated characters? Serena and Lydia. But you’re right, I often see the “Aunt Lydia is horrible and I hate her... but she loves the girls in her own messed up way and is doing her best for them!!!”

Yeah? Well, Serena loves children. Like, really fucking loves kids. In her own messed up way and is doing her best for them.

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the two most hated characters and the ones that receive the most vitriol are female villains whereas male villains are just sort of skimmed over. Sure, people say, “I hate Fred” it’s not nearly as gendered or as intense. And in a way I get it, cos women hating other women to such a degree is ... just... unbearable. But it was literally the men who both created and maintain the society. ALL MEN. No excuses, no exceptions. ALL men, including precious Nick. Whether or not he’s happy or likes the system, he’s still done fuck all to change it and he still benefits from it.

Where’s the outrage at Warren for sexually abusing Janine? Oh, right. He got punished for that so it’s all fine. (Serena was literally whipped with a belt for doing a Good Thing, and lost a finger for another Good Thing, but hey, “She deserved it. It’s not enough! She needs to DIE a horrible death ASAP.”) Where the consistent outrage at Fred for basically everything he ever says and does? Where’s the same outrage for participating in raping pregnant June? (I do get there is a difference and even June knows it but still. The outrage was not even close to the same level. They literally blame Serena for Fred’s behaviour like he’s some poor, voiceless rube that is controlled entirely by her.) And we’ve already discussed the lack of outrage at Joe, or Nick.

I dunno.

It makes me so sad and angry. Serena could just sigh the wrong way and fans will insist she dies. Fred is an architect of the system (WAY more than Serena), continues to support the system wholeheartedly, cheats on his wife by grooming and sexually assaulting the Handmaids (yes, plural), then blames his wife for him cheating, beats the shit out of his wife, chops off her finger, rapes a pregnant woman (not to mention all the other rapes, where it is completely in his power to say no thanks not tonight at any time), wallops June across the face, gleefully supports murdering children, and implies that he wants to continue raping June for as long as possible to get a son (so, FOREVER), and hey, that’s just Fred being Fred. Cos, look, he lets June play Scrabble and see her baby. Fred has not done a single Truly Good Thing.

Not to say Serena hasn’t done almost equally awful things to some of those things. She has. But the sheer hatred towards her and the vocal outrage far surpasses Fred. Even when she legitimately does a Truly Good Thing (of which she has done exactly 3 lol), people say, “Well, so what? Hang the bitch!!!!!!!”

I know I sound like some delusional Serena Joy stan but really, the sexism and misogyny even in a fandom like THT is staggering.

Because sadly, I see it towards June as well. I have literally read terrible takes about how June isn’t that great, but Nick is the true gem. June isn’t that great cos she’s the Other Woman and wasn’t compassionate to Luke’s wife accosting her, but Luke is fine even though he was the actual adulterer and he was totally right to be screaming at his (ex-)wife like that on the phone. June gets a shit load of criticism for a lot of things while certain other male characters, again, get a pass for sometimes worse decisions and behaviour.

So, yes, I agree SO FUCKING HARD with your rant and always feel free to rant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDD

#Anonymous #long post #again lol

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Austin episode 4 reaction

part of me is laughing at the number of people in the Facebook comments asking, “Is this on Netflix?”

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Sad couch crew

I felt Tyler and Shay were being friendly to Megan here, not snide, at least on a superficial level. Though I guess you can take their excitement about the concert as passive-aggressiveness.

Tyler mentioning the Illuminati - how very Isak. TBH I really hope Julie is making both Shay and Tyler gay, since they’re dividing up the Isak moments between the two. I’m fine if Tyler doesn’t get the big season-long arc and it goes to Shay instead, I’d love to see her get it. But it’s just going to leave such a bad taste if they’ve made Isak into a wlw with no equivalent to the gay male representation that already existed, when there are many supposedly straight female characters who could be have been made into wlw. Especially the Vilde equivalent, who you could easily give a story about discovering and accepting her sexuality, or the Chris character, who didn’t have her own season and really didn’t have any substantial character issues suggested on the level of Vilde’s home life, and would benefit from a meaty arc.

I love Shay, she’s definitely one of the highlights of the show, I’m just tired of all the fighting over whether it’s better for S3 to focus on a gay boy or a lesbian and seeing a lot of gross shit in the discussions that’s either minimizing the importance of an f/f storyline because homophobia is worse for men in Texas/lesbians don’t have it that bad/lesbians are already represented on TV because they’re accepted by straight men who find them sexy/someone doesn’t care about lesbians and will only accept Evak 2.0, or minimizing the importance of Evak/another m/m storyline because Skam and the other remakes already have gay ships so don’t get greedy/gay men are already accepted because look at all the m/m on Tumblr and AO3/people only want another Evak because they’re disgusting fetishizers. It’s fucked up how most of these talk relies on the assumption that there can be only one LGBT story on Skam at a time and not pushing back on why it goes without question that S1 and a hypothetical S2 about Grace/Daniel can both be about heterosexual relationships.

Not to be one of those obnoxious people referencing YA novels in response to real life situations, but it makes me think of Katniss at the climax of Catching Fire when her group of Tributes is fighting the Career Tributes and she fires at the force field instead. Remember who the real enemy is.

That’s a joke, don’t take that too seriously.

Anyway I’m tired.

Considering how shitty he’s been acting previously, Tyler not laughing at Marlon’s comments and just deliberately eating a potato chip is a step up for him.

Speaking of the chips, they disappear in between shots and I guess Tyler could be putting the bag on the floor between takes or something but it looks like a regular old continuity error.

Marlon is a mega dick and I dislike him but I kinda can’t believe that I agreed with him about the team’s social standings vs. their practice time. But it was Marlon who said it so it sounded like a dick move.

See, he’s been such a dick that it’s hard to feel sorry for him! But also he’s in the right to feel hurt about the concert.

I don't have much to say except he is the least convincing person to be talking about how he’s not upset and he doesn’t care. He’s so obviously pissed.

There’s just not a shred of chemistry between these two. I don’t get why they’re together, I don’t get what they like about each other, they barely seem to have much fun together. There isn’t much of a rapport.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: When this clip came out, I watched it on my phone at a graduation party, and I'm not kidding, in the few minutes while I was watching some middle-aged parents started talking about wanting to move to Texas when they retire, and they named cities and singled out Austin as a bad choice because “it’s been overtaken by liberals,” lmao. There was no way they could have realized I was watching a show set in Austin. The stars just aligned.

Clip 2 - Kelsey, no

Grace is really concerned about Kelsey sleeping with Daniel so soon, probably because what happened in her own past messed her up.

“Ever since I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl, I knew I was going to lose my virginity to a football player.” .... when I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl I only cared about seeing the commercials with the pretty horses.

“It was like he was going down on me, but in my mouth” … oh my God … someone SAVE this child.

Kelsey, you don’t even know what anyone going down on you in the “correct” place feels like, and this just makes you sound like inexperienced and Not Ready . And I’m glad Meg and Grace are suitably horrified.

Oh, they actually mentioned the issue of insurance, that’s good. But she looked a little uncomfortable with the topic of insurance, so if she has a similar financial situation to Vilde, insurance might be an issue? Or, as was hinted later via texts, she might have a super religious or conservative mom who would not take her to the doctor. She might be able to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control except I’m not sure if minors can get prescriptions for the pill without parental consent because well, Texas.

I checked out of curiosity and it looks like the only type of birth control you can get at PP without parental consent are condoms and lol, Grace already had that covered.

“You know you should use a condom, right?” “What if he doesn’t want to use a condom?” “Then you know you shouldn’t have sex with him.” YES. JESUS. Thank you Grace.

“I talked to Jo this weekend and I prayed about it last night” Oh come on, they’re going to have her mention praying about Zoya’s participation on the team and then not even address the sex-religion topic? Okay. Kelsey doesn’t even have to be abstinent or opposed to premarital sex, not all Christians are, I feel like it just makes sense for someone to be like, “Isn’t having sex before marriage against your religion?” And if Kelsey objected to the question on the grounds that they’re making assumptions about her religion, they could always come back at her with “Well, you assumed Muslims couldn’t dance.”

Kudos to Grace for talking sense about the Zoya situation and being very calm and careful about the Daniel thing.

Clip 3 - Backseat

The editing at the start of the clip made me think the mom might be talking to Megan at first but no, the mom is on her phone. Mom’s communication skills weren’t so great in this clip.

The dialogue is pretty on the nose and super specific to the theeeeeeme, with the mom putting all this implied pressure on Megan, but the passive aggressiveness about Megan’s dad is sadly accurate to how certain married-with-kids dynamics are, with the parents always at each other’s throats and dismissive of each other and not caring about how the kids react to these constant fighting.

I saw some people wondering why Megan was sitting in the backseat and honestly, that didn’t seem too weird to me. It’s not typical but I’ve ridden in the backseat even when I was the only passenger before (usually because sometimes riding in the front seat makes me sick) but I could see like, a moody teenager wanting to text her boyfriend and not wanting her mom to glance over at her phone. Although the simplest explanation is that Julie wants to hide the parents’ faces.

I didn’t even notice the giant concert posters at first, I was focused on the homeless man. I am assuming he was there to remind us of the stakes to succeed in this world if you’re much of a “dreamer” as Meg’s mom puts it, where if you don’t get a good job that can be you living on the streets, and to get a good job you need to get a degree from a good school, and to get a degree from a good school you need to perform well in high school, and if you make one mistake you are ruined, RUINED forever.

Meg trying to ask her mom for relationship advice and instead getting reminded that her parents have a shit relationship, lovely.

The difference in the tone between the coworker call and the dad call is very telling. Right off the bat, when the dad calls, the mom has a pissed-off attitude. They’re at the stage where they fight just to fight.

Also, note the guilt trip caused by the mom yelling at the dad for not remembering she was going to her friend’s (and like, who cares, I mean this might be part of a larger problem but this sounds like the pettiest shit to argue about) and saying people show they appreciate and support each other by listening and taking interest in their loves, when that’s exactly what Megan didn’t do (skipping Marlon’s show that he was so hyped for) and that’s how she feels she can make it up to him (by buying tickets to the concert he had mentioned).

And the mom says people show they care by listening when she doesn’t even listen to her own daughter and interrupts her when she’s trying to ask a question, and she’s definitely not paying attention to Megan’s life. Like, how is it that they can miss that she’s not on the dance team? Surely the team has some performances or competitions that they’d attend? Fundraisers? I can see them not attending all of Megan’s dance performances, but any of them?

Megan’s mom is a piece of work, though I’m sure the dad plays his part in the dysfunction too, I don’t want to put it all on the mother.

Clip 4 - Straw

Franz Ferdinand???

Not that this is the point but I’m intrigued by this locker setup. But I am from a place with cold cold winters so the idea of having one of these lockers in January seems terrible.

I was curious if Kendrick Lamar was actually supposed to perform in Austin on Friday, so I checked it out, and lo and behold, it was a real concert. Good job, Skam Austin.

It kinda just makes me sad that THIS is how Meg gets Marlon’s attention again, by buying (probably) expensive concert tickets.

“you two are smashing in that bathroom by the nurse’s office” at least you’re nearby if you need offbeat advice and some condoms? Oh wait, this is Texas. Never mind the last one.

This is my chance to talk about how gross I find the word “smash” in any sexual context. It just sounds uncomfortable and makes me think of potatoes.

Shoutout to Tyler’s Prince shirt, certainly a unique wardrobe choice.

Man, Kelsey is just such an easy target. Especially with the way she talks, like-like-like … blood in the water. Tyler and Shay are not here for Kelsey and Jo right off the bat and once Kelsey opens her mouth, it’s doom.

At least Kelsey had the sense to keep Zoya on the team list even if it was for self-serving reasons.

I applaud these actresses for effort, but every version of the iconic spoon scene has felt forced compared to the original. Josefina, my darling, if you’re going to be seductive with your straw, you might wanna purse your lips instead of letting it roll around in and out of your mouth.

I think it’s great that Jo and Tyler spoke Spanish to each other, and that they didn’t have subtitles, but lol at the brazenness of asking that question right in front of Shay when Shay could possibly speak Spanish herself. Or lmao, anyone who has taken Spanish I could understand what she was saying. (Like what if Shay was his girlfriend? Kinda think Jo isn’t concerned with technicalities.)

Calling him jefe, lmao, wow.

Tyler referring to Kelsey as Drew Barrymore made me laugh. Do kids these days have a firm grasp on Drew Barrymore’s legacy? What has she been in recently other than Santa Clarita Diet?

Maybe instead of references to Romeo + Juliet, we can get allusions to Ever After, The Wedding Singer, or Never Been Kissed. (Maybe not that last one.)

Also, I’m glad Meg spoke up for Kelsey so they weren’t just bashing her new friends.

Clip 5 - Internet quizzes should not be used to make major life decisions

Zoya is just looking through a book while Kelsey is talking.

Some of Kelsey’s rules:

“Always act classy”

“No cursing, fighting, messy hair or appearance” while wearing the uniform

“Positive vibes ONLY”

But yeah, here’s another example of why the dance team wasn’t the best way to adapt russ because like … of course Kelsey is being rude and ridiculous, and I can’t say I’m on her side against Zoya, but … if the team founder calls a meeting to discuss rules, it’s expected that you will be there to discuss the rules and not blow it off?

With Vilde’s bus, first of all, russ was several years away and they had time to pull it all together. A dance team is going to require some results in the near future, especially if the team is school-approved and getting them out of P.E. Someone is probably going to be checking up on the girls and making sure they’re not getting P.E. credit for sitting around and doing nothing. Second, pretty sure a bus group is not going to require as much day to day practice, training, and energy as a dance team.

I don’t know, however silly Kelsey’s motivations might be, if you sign up for someone’s dance team … you should expect to dance, dude. That goes for all the girls.

When prompted to give her opinion of Zoya, Jo cleverly deflects with the quiz, as her opinion of Zoya is clearly ❤️❤️❤️

I do love and appreciate Grace trying to persuade Kelsey to rethink the whole sleeping with Daniel thing. Not being too harsh, but being firm and not hesitating to point out all the ways it’s not a good choice.

Also being like “keep in mind he’s not your boyfriend” thank youuuu.

Kelsey sure doesn’t like that part about people judging her for having premarital sex. At least they might bring it up in the aftermath of hooking up with Daniel?

“That definitely didn’t happen.” “It did happen and she can’t eat Sweet Tarts anymore.” Jo continues to be the shining star of this show, I laughed out loud at her delivery of that line.

Whenever one of the Chrises is like “I was totally wasted” about their first time, I’m just like 😧

Kelsey saying option A on the quiz, for her “boyfriend” and her being closer once they sleep together, is the most depressing thing. Stop this train before it goes off the rails.

Oh God. Kelsey does not need to be anywhere near a penis at this juncture. The way she starts giggling and laughing when Grace suggests to think about what turns her on about Daniel … you are not ready to have sex. You are barely ready to talk about sex. None of the Vildes has seemed so young and not ready to go through with this.

Kelsey did not talk about not wanting to be involved in lesbianism, hmmmMMMM. Foreshadowing? Or maybe Julie just realized that people didn’t like the casual lesbophobia if you don’t have a lesbian character?

I haven’t been all that complimentary to the actors on this show, but I do want to give Kelsey’s actress some props for reciting that whole monologue, which is just a detailed Teen Vogue photoshoot.

It’s amusing that Kelsey integrated the Kittens uniform into her erotic fantasy but sad that Kelsey still wants to be a Kitten so much. She’s not wearing a uniform for her own group, whatever she might want it to be, she’s wearing a Kitten uniform in her ideal scenario.

You know Jo is listening to this fantasy and getting inspiration for her next Kelsey makeup experiment.Also, it makes me laugh that they’re having this discussion in a library.

Overheard in Bouldin - TMI Girl in Library: “People get turned on my different things all the time. My cousin’s thing is dirty socks. She keeps a pair of her ex-boyfriend’s in a Ziploc bag under her bed.”

May we one day meet this intriguing cousin of yours, Jo.

But don’t encourage this Daniel nonsense.

It’s too bad we didn’t get the classic doctor visit but lol, a school doctor in Texas might not be able to be so blatant with the sex ed tips, so I get it. And ultimately I would prefer if Julie tried out new scenes instead of trying to recreate old ones.

At first I thought Kelsey maybe didn’t know who Kendrick Lamar was. Which is perfectly plausible, let’s be real.

“When I have ever asked you for anything?” In the short time Meg has known you, Kelsey ... find Jo, join the dance team, get closer to Penetrator Jo, give you her birth control pills.

Clip 6 - Bowling

Kelsey’s outfit is almost exactly what she described in her fantasy! No access to a Kittens dance uniform, but otherwise very close. Follow your dreams, kids.

“Martin had a dream … Martin had a dream …” look, I like that Skam uses a variety of music and not just white indie rock, but can we like … quit syncing music by black artists talking about black cultural topics to scenes of this white dude being a big deal.

Look at that dipshit taking up two parking spaces. Fuck offffffffffffff

Kelsey looks so happy and Daniel looks like he’s already 75% checked out.

How long is this Kendrick bowling montage going to go on?

Ha, Kelsey easily had the worst bowling score of the four of them.

“Daniel just touched my ass.” The way Kelsey was thrilled about this was kind of cute and alarming.

Kelsey wanting Meg to stay with them as long as she can makes me think she really just doesn’t want to go through with the impending loss of virginity.

“Then how’d you know my name at Talent Night?” I mean ... you do go to school together, and Jo is on the football team with a high social profile. I could name a lot of my high school classmates by name even if I’ve never spoken to them.

Is Julie going to go full Chris/Eva with this version to give the shippers their day in the sun? I love original Eva/Jonas but Meg/Marlon is an unpleasant trainwreck so I can’t say I’m disappointed. I mean I can’t say I love Meg/Penetrator Jo either,, but I’m not sad about this version of Eva/Jonas not being endgame.

Penetrator Jo is still sleazy in at least a few respects (don’t be a cocktease) and we have still have to meet his girlfriend but his memory of her seems legit so maybe he does really like her. Unless, I don’t know, he stalked her IG and remembered some relevant details and embellished this whole story?

Lmao, I can get why people might think the “No Signal” scenario would be a contrivance but that exact thing has happened to me, so I buy it.

I will give Julie this credit, she’s good at setting up Fredag/Friday scenarios where we think one thing will happen, and instead something else occurs that’s completely different from the fan theories. I figured it would be as simple as Meg or Marlon missing the concert, not that we’d spot Marlon (or “Marlon”) with Abby

I don’t think it’s Marlon, though. That seems a lot like Tyler’s walk, and the person doesn’t seem to be wearing Marlon’s ugly shoes.

General Comments:

It’s kind of depressing to see people in the FB group and in the comments be like, “I haven’t seen the original show but could Grace be a lesbian? 😃” and the replies be like “No, Noorhelm is coming 😃”

Another “fun” aspect of having this show on Facebook: the MAGA edgelord assholes who leave comments on the episodes about “cucks” and “libtards.”

My opinion of Grace rose so much in this episode just by how doggedly she is trying to bring Kelsey back to earth. and telling her she can back out of this choice.

In the texts, Grace said she would buy condoms for Kelsey - good job - and later, when Kelsey asked the girls what she should wear for losing her virginity, said, “I know what Daniel will be wearing” and said that she put condoms in Kelsey’s purse - excellent job.

I feel like Grace would roll the condom on Daniel’s dick herself if it meant Kelsey had safe sex.

Abby was stressing over finals on IG so I’d bet that was a hint she needed something to help her out, hence meeting up with Marlon/Tyler for Adderall.

I was wondering what kind of music would be on Skam Austin since original Skam had all sorts of high-profile artists, and that would not be cheap, but so far, it seems like Facebook spared no expense with the soundtrack.

Grace and Shay had IG posts reacting to the Santa Fe High School Shooting. IDK how much Skam Austin would address gun violence in the episodes itself in the future, and I can think of ways it could go very badly, but sadly, as one of the biggest concerns of American teenagers today, it would be very relevant, and that’s what Skam’s supposed to be, after all.

#skam austin reactions #skamus reactions

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