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self-ships-ahoy · 3 years

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The Power of Words

Summary: Technician voices more active support in Medic’s latest experiment idea, and she gets a surprise in return.

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,123

Warnings: None

A/N: I tried really hard not to make this ooc for him (though let’s be honest, the self ship community is really lenient on that - a fact which I’m thankful for), and I rewrote a lot of his responses to make things flow naturally. On the other hand, I do think he suffers from occasional mood swings and sets too-high standards for himself, which leads to periods of stress and self doubt. Very rare, but it happens. --Look, the real takeaway is our mutual support and love, and how we bring out the best in each other.

....Also this is my first fic with us posted, so pls be kind. 👉👈

~💖~

"...I think you should do it."

Technician's words snapped her boyfriend back to attention. After musing and mulling and worrying over this new project idea, on top of the surmounting stress from his seemingly thankless job, even a man as confident as Medic was beginning to doubt himself. It was a feeling so foreign to him, it threatened to halt all his work. Intellectually, he knew he could tackle this feat. All the previous broken boundaries of science and nature proved that. But this...surpassing respawn and unlocking it's delicate and somewhat mysterious mechanisms, using its secrets in one of his inventions...would he even have the time to achieve this while it still mattered? Would his psyche withstand the pressure such a project would bring? The man had experienced enough nervous breakdowns in his life (unfortunately, one while Technician was on base), he didn't want another so soon.

But then, from the mouth of the most important person in his life, one whom he was sure would air on the side of caution, and against outlandish experiments, came the words of approval. Mary always listened to his ideas, though the discomfort, and sometimes disapproval, was often written on her face. Too kind to say anything, she would refrain from speaking up unless the experiment in question was 'crossing a line'. This was starting to happen a lot less often, and only partly because his experiments had actually gotten tamer in the months he had known her, and he began learning to curb his impulses; Mary herself had also become more accustomed to Medic's line of work, and tried to be more open minded about what she saw as too disgusting to think about. Hearing her voice her support was a very good sign, indeed.

"You...you mean it?" the doctor asked, making sure he wasn't hallucinating, "You think I should try?"

Technician was trying not to think about the process it would take to accomplish such a feat, but the whole reason this idea wouldn't leave her love's mind was so his team - his friends - would stay safe and avoid death, should he come a moment too late. (That, and it would be another boundary to push, and he so loved a challenge.) For a man who frequently resembled the mad scientists of the silver screen, this was rather...heroic of Medic to do, in his own eccentric way. "I do," she answered him with a smile, "and I know you'll succeed. I'll be here to support you the whole way." Technician gave the other's hand a small squeeze. "The only reason you should wait is if you need to be in a better place mentally, and that's totally okay."

This surprised him even more to hear. "You'll help me see it through? Even the medical procedures?"

"Well, if you need me there, yeah, of course. I could sit in the room and look away, or talk to you through the radio or something. If that's what you need to get this done..." Technician paused, seeing that the look on Medic's face was still unchanged. "Hey, don't be so surprised! You've gone out of your comfort zone for me before. I want to do the same for you."

"When did I do that?”

"A few times, actually. Remember when I had that medical scare and had to get all those tests? I know I made things difficult, but you still tried to comfort me, even though you didn't understand my fear."

"Oh, well, that's because I love you."

He had dismissed the fact so nonchalantly that the doctor hadn't even realized what he had said until the words slipped out of his mouth. Heart stopping, smile falling, he looked like he accidentally spoiled her birthday present. This was not how he wanted to tell her.

While Medic tried to gather himself (and prepare to back-pedal on that if necessary), Technician brought her free hand to her chest, right where the pendant of her necklace rested. With her mouth agape, she tried to catch her breath from such a revelation. "...You love me?" she asked, voice quiet. Unlike Medic, she knew she wasn't hearing things...but she just had to be sure she interpreted it right.

Well, there was no going back now. And from the sound of things, Mary seemed somewhat...hopeful, to hear that. His sigh turned into nervous laughter as he began to explain himself, "Hahah...umm...yes, I do. For...quite a while now, actually. I was going to tell you soon, but, ah...things got a little crazy, hahahah--" A flush of red had spread across his face as he waited anxiously for his love's response.

Mary had to break eye contact as she processed the overwhelming flood of ecstasy in her heart. It was a burning she hadn't felt since she had first fallen for him. Slowly, as her heart surged with the pangs of love, a huge smile broke on her face. Medic hung on her every word for signs of reciprocation as she finally spoke, meeting his eyes again, "I...oh my gosh... I love you, too, Ludiwg. I love you so much--"

His smile had returned just as Technician moved in to hug him. Not a moment was wasted before he returned the embrace. It was a great distraction from his upcoming project, yet it also became a motivator for him, once he remembered his work again. After their hug, and one very nice kiss, the two scientists finally parted again.

Enveloping her hands in his own, Medic returned to the original subject of their conversation. "You're right, Schatz. In the name of science, I must push forward." He stopped in his tracks as an idea struck him. "You should assist me!"

"Me?? What can I do?"

"Oh, I'm sure there's much that you can do for me. We'll make such an amazing team! What do you say, hm?"

Although Medic was miles ahead of Technician on terms of medical science, she did have a small and dormant background in biology, and her expertise in computer science could help them when it came to respawn's internal mechanisms. Add that to the doctor's eagerness over the proposal, as he held her hands and grinned at her... She just couldn't refuse. "Okay. Let's do it," she answered, moving one of her enclosed hands to hold his.

It didn't seem possible, but his smile grew even larger at Technician's answer. The strong faith she had in him, the encouragement she gave, the love she reciprocated, and her agreement to actively assist him in this project all culminated to restore his confidence to its highest level. He could face any stress or obstacle that was thrown at him, as long as his love was by his side.

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self-ships-ahoy · 3 years

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My Heart in Your Hands

Saturday (Feb 13th) Heart / Soul / Confession

Summary: During the events of Mann vs. Machine, Technician faces her greatest fear for the good of her friends - and the love of her life.

Warnings: General depictions of surgery (nothing too graphic, but there is a lot of talk about Tech’s heart in the second half)

Word Count: 1,307

A/N: Ok...I am very very nervous about posting this fic. I had to scramble to find a good reason for Tech to have this surgery done (i.e. if lives were on the line), and I’m just always nervous when presenting my writings with Medic. I have seen quite a few people be critical about his depictions, if he’s ‘in character’ enough, and I was afraid of being met with that kind of criticism. But writing is supposed to be for fun, and IF I’m a little ooc with him, so what? I put a whole lot into this fic, and you’re going to really see the extent of their feelings, so I’m proud of it. (Also, about the end, I am totally one to use wordplay even if I’m just coming out of anesthesia, so yeah Tech is like that too.)

~ 💖 ~

For as long as she could remember, Technician's greatest fear and weakness had been anything related to medical procedures. From the smell of a sterilized office to the mere sight of a needle, it all made her anxious at best and panic-stricken at worst. Everyone at the RED base knew this, since they heard how she ‘freaked out’ during her initial physical examination. Fortunately, although her phobias still remain, her reactions have started to become less severe over time, thanks in big part to her relationship with Medic. Forming a friendship, and later a romantic affair, with him helped her tolerance to her fear triggers greatly. Her desire to see him had her visiting the medbay often, where she soon became accustomed to many sights and smells of the lab. The doctor remained supportive of Technician working to overcome her fears, and he took an active role in the process. Still, Katie had a long way to go, and he knew that. He knew, by now, what kind of answer he would get to a proposed surgery, even though he only offered what was for her benefit. "It's very sweet that you care that much, but it's just not worth it to me." So, he would sigh in defeat and drop the subject, loving her too much to breach the boundaries she set.

This pattern continued until 1971. Mann Co. was under siege by Grey Mann, effectively taking control from Saxton Hale with an army of robots. Both Red and Blu teams were hired to take back the company, so far with little avail. It all seemed pointless to Technician, at first, if not fortunate; this could be her ticket out of here, if she could convince Grey to fire her. Then the game changed. In an effort to drive the mercs away for good, Grey's forces managed to sabotage and shut down respawn - for good. Now, they could actually die. After so many years of being alone, Katie couldn't bear the thought of losing her friends. With Medic's new reviving invention still a work in progress, that thought could become a reality. She would do anything to keep them safe, even just to increase that chance by a fraction of a percentage. This was what she came to talk to Medic about, one quiet afternoon at the base.

The two of them sat on the couch in his office. The programmer remained silent, a hesitant and apprehensive frown on her face. She had yet to reveal why she called Medic here, and the longer she waited, the more concerned he became. However, his patience was finite, and spending the whole day on this conversation could be time otherwise spent working on his invention. "Darling," he addressed her gently, but with seriousness, "Vhatever is troubling you, don't be afraid to tell me about it; I cannot help you if you don't tell me...nor do I have time to vait much longer."

Technician's chest tightened, her eyes squeezing shut for a moment. She couldn't wait forever. Sighing nervously, she began, "...I need you to...do something for me."

"Anything," he answered without question.

Another short pause. "I'm scared. I really think we could die out there..." She held his hand for support. "I can't lose you, Ludwig. You're the most important person in my life...and you're all my friends... You're the closest thing I have to family. So, I want to do whatever I can to help protect you."

"...Vhat are you saying?"

"...I want you to put Über in me."

Medic couldn't believe what he heard. Technician seemed to have a knack for surprising him, but, understandably, this was a big deal. Thus far, she had refused every surgery offer presented to her, and now she comes to him and requests one? The man was no reader of emotions, but judging from the tension on her face, and how she squeezed his hand, it didn't seem like she was completely positive of the decision. Excited as he felt, he had to make sure they were on the same page, or he could lose her trust in him forever. "You are...absolutely sure of zhis?"

Technician went quiet again before answering. "I don't know. But...I want to be. I don't want to be afraid of this, especially if it could help you stay alive. With how often I've fallen onto front lines, it could even protect me, too. But..."

"If it's pain you're concerned about, I promise zhe pain medications I use, in addition to zhe medigun, vill decrease anything you feel down to manageable levels." He couldn't help but try to convince her to go through with it. Despite her indecision, he agreed with her points that supported the procedure; this could protect her and her friends, should she fall into danger. "You won't even need stitches," he added with a small smile.

He was getting excited, she could hear it in his voice. Technician expected as much, but she had to finish. "It's not just about the pain. I just...I don't like operations, I never did. You know that... And...I wanted to make sure I could...trust you with it. And I do, now. It's just...hard."

Medic's smile grew when he heard that he finally earned Technician's trust. That alone made him feel so accomplished. "I promise you, I vill handle zhe procedure vis as much care as I handle our fledgling doves. You have my word as a doctor - license or no." He tilted his head down to further meet her gaze. "Does zhat ease any of your fear?"

"...Yeah. It does."

~~~

On the day of the operation, Technician's friends all came to give their support. She was facing a great challenge for the good of the team, and for her own safety, a decision that they all could commend. Soldier told her she was making her country proud by pushing through the fear; Scout brought her some comic books to read for when she's in recovery; Sniper and Engineer pledged to stay by her bedside when she goes under and when she wakes up; even Spy said he would anticipate hearing her wake from a successful operation. Their faith and encouragement helped Technician move forward with this, and she kept their words and gestures in mind when nervously changing into her special hospital gown. Above all, she remembered all Medic promised to do for her, to keep her as comfortable as possible.

Placing her jewelry in a plastic bag, her thumb brushed over the heart-shaped pendant of her necklace. That was a prized possession now, a symbol of how much she was cherished. As she stared at it, her mind began retracing every instance of Ludwig prioritizing her happiness. This...this was a man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And why: because she knew she could entrust him with her very life, even on the operating table. She knew that if she asked him to do or not do something, he would take that request seriously. She's going to go into the operating room with full confidence that Medic will do nothing more than implant the Über device in a human heart. That was true love.

Technician made her way to the hospital bed, and squeezed Dell's hand as the I.V. went in her wrist. As she settled down from that, Medic gleefully presented his patient with precautions he doesn't usually take during surgery, such as a clean pair of gloves and keeping Archimedes at a distance, so the dove doesn't get tempted to play assistant surgeon. In the time between now and the first Über implantation, Medic had even been experimenting with his invention to make it more efficient, i.e. less likely to overload the patient's heart and what not. There was a good chance that Technician could come out of this with her original heart in tact.

At last, the time came for her to be put under anesthesia, per her request. Katie kept her eyes away from the sight, but listened to Medic's voice as she slipped into unconsciousness. "You'll be awake and feeling good as new in no time, my dear. Don't worry..." he told her calmly as he watched her drift off. Engineer and Sniper then left the room, and the procedure began.

Everything was running well. Throughout the procedure, Medic talked to his patient as if she was awake, from making light (one-sided) conversation to commenting on each step he was taking. (He said she had very healthy ribs, for instance.) At last, Technician's heart was successfully removed and resting in the doctor's delicate hold. He was being timely about each step so far, never stalling or rushing; but here was when he began to pause, staring at his love's heart while the medigun kept her on life support. The power he felt was indescribable, surmounted only by the honor of being granted the chance to literally hold Katie's very life in his hands. He, too, understood the significance of being allowed to perform this surgery on her, the amount of trust it showed she had in him. There was excitement from finally getting to operate, yes, but...it had yet to truly sink in until this moment.

As he cradled the tiny, life-giving muscle, a euphoria began to overtake him. This was more than just the thrill of practicing medicine; this was finally realizing the meaning of his beloved not only allowing, but asking without prompt, to partake in her greatest fear. The love she had for him was stronger than her fear and doubt, for she realized that he would never hurt her. And for all the love he felt for her, and how much closer he would feel to her if given the chance to do this, hearing her finally approve was his strongest wish. Ludwig was already sure he had found The One, but now - oh, now he was 100% positive and then some. His breathing cut short a couple times as his eyes began to well up. But, instead of crying, he began to laugh - slowly, quietly, then rising in strength with his elation. It was a laugh of pure joy, unlike anything else ever heard in the operating room.

~~~

Awaking from the anesthesia was a slightly difficult task, only due to Technician's penchant for prolonging sleep. With the pain medication still in her system, she had almost forgotten for a moment that she had underwent surgery. But a growing echo of voices helped pull her out of her induced slumber.

"I think she's comin' to, doc. Hey, Tech, can ya hear us?"

"Come on, mate..."

"Vake up, meine geliebte~. Zhe surgery is all over now."

The sing-song tones of Medic's call lured her out of her sleeping state, and cerulean eyes fluttered open to the sight of the doctor's beaming smile. To her left, Engineer and Sniper sat with their own happy expressions. Technician turned her gaze back to Medic, attempting to speak through her haze. "Did...everything..."

"Everything vent perfectly, darling, visout a hitch." Medic answered her, "I hadn't completed a procedure zhat smoothly in years, heh." In truth, there had been one or two slight deviations in the plan - minor errors that he was able to work around, and certainly not worth mentioning to the tomophobic programmer. That being said, it was still one of Medic's more successful operations. "How do you feel?"

She thought for a moment, hesitant to feel her heart in case she might feel the Über implant. "Strange...Tired... Chest feels tight. Is my heart okay?"

Engineer spoke up with more words of reassurance, "Heart's a-OK, Techie. Doc said it survived the whole thing, no transplants 'r anything like that."

"It vas remarkable to witness," Medic commented with glee, "For a heart of such small size, I vas expecting more resistance to zhe device. My upgrades must have made an even greater improvement zhan anticipated!"

The corners of her lips began to curl as she heard the great news. Above all, she was worried about her heart needing to be replaced with something bizarre for the device to work. But, the doctor fulfilled his promises and kept her heart intact...as did another force unbeknownst to her. Should someone tell her of it, she would show no surprise at the fact.

Facing Medic again, Technician inched her hand closer to him, a kind look in her sleepy eyes. "I knew you could do it... I was in good hands."

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self-ships-ahoy · 3 years

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Peace of Mind

Thursday (Feb 11th) - Hurt & Comfort / Unrequited

Summary: With the stress from an endless and chaotic job reaching its peak, Technician accepts support from her friend, Sniper.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,044

A/N: I could have gone for some romantic hurt/comfort, but I realized I hadn’t shed enough light on Tech and Sniper’s friendship, and thought it was time to choose him for this work. Actually this was already half-way done when the Valentine’s Day event was announced; after feeling my own personal stress at the time, it seemed time to care for Tech and her problems for a change. OCs and the like need comfort, too, after all.

~ 🛣 ~

It was becoming increasingly too much to handle at the base. Shooting and shouting and emotionally unstable mercenaries just causing trouble and never giving her a moment's peace. In the past couple years, Technician had grown to really care about some of these men, though she wasn't sure if that made the stress better or worse. Even her boyfriend, who was among this band of misfits, gave her his fair share of stress. Was it him, or her? It was hard to tell. But knowing she couldn't quit this mentally taxing “job” was probably the worst part it. She saw too much, they said; it was this or death. And what good would vacations do if she just had to come back to this desert asylum. Really, it was inevitable that someone would catch her breaking down.

This day, a shred of luck happened to be on her side, that the merc who understood this feeling the most was who stumbled upon her: Sniper. Mick himself was a man of few words, and who chose his social interactions with care. Not necessarily a recluse, but certainly an introvert, and it was this 'stand near the wall' disposition that was the right common ground for him and the Technician to begin a laid back friendship. In situations like these, he was probably the perfect comfort this base had to offer.

Mick heard Katie before he saw her, and followed the sound of her desperate sobs to where she had hidden herself, in a small secluded corner of the outside of the Red base. Admittedly, he had never been in a situation like this before; sure, he's seen her sad or dejected, but never this...low. Still, the merc knew he had to do something. Carefully, he took another half step forward to announce his presence. Tech seemed to freeze as the sobbing ceased. The sound of his shoes wasn't enough, so, in his quietest voice, Mick addressed the other "Oi... What's wrong?"

Sniper, thank goodness. Katie's only shot at being understood was either through him or Engineer. Nothing against Dell, but Katie would have preferred to describe stress from relationships and overstimulation to the guy who goes on frequent outings to get away. So, the sobbing continued. "I can't take it," she rasped, "I can't keep doing this. Noise and tension-- i-it's too much. *sob* And there's no way out. I'm stuck-- *sob* and I don't know what to do."

Sadly, the Sniper had no words of reassurance for her. He couldn't say with confidence that matters concerning their employment were going to turn out in her favor, or that the emotional and mental states of their comrades would ever improve. All he could do was keep her company.

Mick sat down on the wooden floor next to his friend, letting out a sympathetic sigh. "Not much ye can do, I'm afraid..." he answered softly, "Just keep yer 'ead down, look fer any way to separate from the noise till it's over."

"But when's it gonna be over? When can I get back to my life? *sob* They're never gonna let me go... 'n I can't just tell the guys to stop being difficult cuz this place is just making everything worse."

There wasn't much talking after that. Not much Sniper could say when he himself didn't know what the future held. All he could do was sit there with his friend till her tears ran out, one of his hands placed gently on her shoulder. When it seemed Technician had finally exhausted herself from crying, Sniper managed to produce an idea to help her, temporary as it was. "I got an idea." He paused to make sure she was listening. "I was gonna go out on a drive fer a few hours. How 'bout you ride along? Jus' to clear yer head?"

Technician stayed quiet for a moment, but lifted her head a little in interest. "I couldn't..." she answered weakly, "My work..."

"Don't worry 'bout the work. Engie can cover for ya."

"...Does he know how to work the base's mainframes?"

"He's a smart lad, he'll figure it out."

"...Would the administration--"

"Forget the administration, forget all of it," Mick interrupted before the trail of excuses went on any further, "Anyone who 'as a problem with you takin' short leave can meet the business end'a my rifle." Far as she knew, he meant it. The merc paused again to correct his tone, having finally figured out something helpful to say, "Truth is, mate, I dunno when this war's gonna be done... but you got me to help ya through it. That'll be enough."

It was somewhat surprising to hear Mick be so comforting, but Tech was grateful nonetheless. She was right to trust him, and to assume he would understand. Slowly, the programmer nodded her head. "Okay. ...Th-thank you."

"No worries. We introverts gotta stick together, right?" he cracked a smile at his light humor, assuming she took it well. Well, she didn't look uncomfortable, so she must have. Sniper stood up first, helping Technician up on the way. She was quiet on their way to his camper, where she sat while he told Engineer what was going on. Naturally, Dell was happy to oblige and help out his friend.

The sound of the van's engine was the only sound during the drive through the New Mexico desert. Not a word was spoken between them, Sniper not being one to break silences with small talk; besides, Technician seemed too exhausted to speak. Her eyes lay wearily focused on the road in front of her. Pitiful as it might appear, Mick took notice of this and was glad he could give her a place to shut down in peace. And it was peaceful, enough for her to doze off for a short while. He didn't even think of stopping while she slept.

When they finally did come to a stop, on the border of a small forest, conversation began to pick up. It started slow, a couple small remarks about the scenery. But pretty soon, a small smile finally returned to Katie's face, as she talked about the cute thing Snow White did that morning. Mostly though, the two sat in pleasant silence, alone together.

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