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quicksilversquared · 7 years

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The Pun Book: Part 2

Every time Adrien goes to renew his favorite book, The Big Book of Puns, someone else has requested it. Who could it possibly be? And why do the librarians keep trying to set the two of them up?

(Part 1)

(AO3) (FF.net)

Despite all of the practice Marinette was getting in with Adrien, she wasn't actually doing much better in her pun war with Chat Noir.

In fact, she was doing worse.

It wasn't that her jokes and pun delivery was suffering at all. In fact, it was the opposite. Adrien was an actual master of pun delivery and he was endlessly helpful with hints on how to stick puns into words smoothly. She was a fast learner- after all, she had been doing some low-key punning pretty much her whole life and she had been around serious punners the whole time- and soon she and Adrien were having entire punny conversations, much to the combined confusion and amusement of Nino and Alya. She had gone to every patrol and battle with a spring of confidence in her step.

This time she would definitively crush Chat Noir with the sheer number of puns she was going to spout. This time she would use Adrien's original jokes that he had shared with her and Chat Noir couldn't cut off her punchlines.

It would be great.

Except it wasn't. Not at all.

Somehow Chat Noir was impossibly more on top of his pun game, and he still anticipated her jokes. He looked startled every time she used Adrien's jokes, and he had even used some of the jokes that Adrien had sworn up and down that he had made up himself.

It was, for lack of better words, really weird.

"I know that Adrien wouldn't lie about making up those jokes," Marinette told Tikki as she sat back, momentarily abandoning her design homework. "I mean, one of the jokes that Chat Noir told last night was one that Adrien came up with right in front of me. It just doesn't make sense."

"Do you think that Adrien just thought that he made the joke up?" Tikki suggested. "Maybe he read it in a book once and forgot that that was where he saw it."

"That would make sense," Marinette agreed. "If it had only happened once or twice. But Chat Noir knows all of Adrien's jokes."

They fell silent, puzzling over the whole situation. Marinette could believe that Tikki might be right about one or two of Adrien's jokes, but even if she was right something still didn't sit right. It was something about Chat Noir's reaction, how he was just as surprised about her knowing the jokes as she was about his knowledge. It suggested that he thought that the jokes weren't common knowledge.

...like he knew that someone had made those jokes up just recently and hadn't shared them with many people.

"Oh!" Marinette realized, sitting up straight as realization hit her like a lightning bolt. "I know! Adrien said that he has a modelling friend that he punned with a lot. His friend must be Chat Noir!"

Tikki blinked up at her, puzzled. "What makes you think that?"

"Everything!" Marinette threw her arms out, thrilled to have finally figured out the puzzle that had been bothering her. "Adrien must use the same jokes he tells me with his modelling buddy, who is Chat Noir! So then Chat memorizes the jokes because of course he would, the dork." The pieces were falling into place now, so fast that they were making her head spin. Chat Noir kind of walked and posed like a model a lot- he almost always looked ridiculously good in their press photos- and he must have started young, just like Adrien. For as long as she had known him, Chat Noir had walked and posed the same.

She had just assumed that it was the cat influence from his Miraculous and Chat Noir's over-the-top personality. Him being a model made so. much. sense.

Adrien wasn't entirely sure what in the world was going on with his pun war with Ladybug. He had come up with a whole slew of jokes that he could have sworn he had come up with, ones that Ladybug couldn't possibly know already...but she did.

He couldn't figure out what was going on.

"I've only told those jokes to three people," Adrien complained to Plagg, who was studiously ignoring him in favor of a large round of warm, gooey Brie. "Nino, Alya, and Marinette. And Nino and Alya really aren't the kind to go around telling jokes like that. Like, they joke around and all, but they aren't the kind of people to go around telling jokes where others would hear them."

"Mhmmm."

"So that just leaves Marinette," Adrien said, flopping back on his bed. "Normally, I would say that she doesn't tell jokes either, but clearly that isn't true."

It had been a pleasant surprise to find out that Marinette was the other person checking out The Big Book of Puns, because now they could share instead of passing the book back and forth. He definitely enjoyed spending time with Marinette, and he had been thrilled to find a new excuse to hang out with her. Marinette was such a cheerful person to be around, and while she groaned and rolled her eyes at Adrien's jokes just the same way Ladybug did, she couldn't hide her amusement. He had to laugh at how disgruntled she looked whenever she mentioned the pun war she had gotten caught up in.

Really, what were the chances that both he and one of his friends got caught up in a punning war at the same time? It was a rather amusing turn of events.

Punning war.

The revelation hit Adrien like a bus, and he sat up so suddenly that he nearly fell off the bed. Of course! Marinette was in a punning war with a classmate, so it made sense that she would be using some of the jokes that he shared with her.

If it was only a couple jokes of his that Ladybug knew, then he would probably suspect that Ladybug overheard Marinette and her mystery classmate punning away. But it wasn't just a couple jokes, it was a lot of jokes...

...which meant that Marinette's punning opponent was Ladybug's civilian identity. Which, in turn, meant that despite all of her grumbling about puns, Ladybug didn't mind them enough to freely enter another punning contest without being bugged into doing it.

Hah. So much for her apparently feigned disinterest in all things punny. Clearly it was just a front.

Adrien snickered as he thought about it. He couldn't believe that Marinette apparently knew Ladybug- well, civilian Ladybug. What were the chances of that? It really was a small world after all.

And then another realization hit Adrien, and this time he groaned. He had been hoping to meet the classmate that Marinette had been having a pun war with (after all, he never turned down the chance to meet potential new friends and someone else with an interest in puns? Sign him up!), but now, knowing that it was Ladybug?

He couldn't. He couldn't ever meet Marinette's classmate, no matter how much he wanted to, because he and his Lady still weren't supposed to share their identities with each other. If Adrien had been younger, he might have ignored that rule. But he was older now, and better able to understand the risks that would go along with them knowing each other's identities. He had seen firsthand the kind of variety in powers that Hawkmoth could give to his akuma, and if they ever had one that had the power to make them tell secrets...

Well. Needless to say, Adrien was all too willing to wait until after Hawkmoth was taken care of to find out his Lady's identity if it could help keep her safe.

"Why did you tell Adrien that you couldn't come to his photoshoot?"

Marinette sighed as she slumped into the chair in front of her sewing machine. Tikki swirled around her for a moment before landing and perching on the machine, head cocked to the side in puzzlement. "I can't. I wish I could, but now that I know that Chat Noir is one of Adrien's modeling buddies, I can't risk it. I know a lot of the other models working for Gabriel rotate, but since I've been using Adrien's newest jokes and Chat Noir already knows them, that makes me suspect that he and Adrien regularly work together."

Tikki frowned. "But Marinette-"

"And theoretically I could ask him if the other person he's been punning with is there, but then if he said yes, I would have to say no right away and that would look weird." Marinette carefully started threading her machine, tongue sticking out for a second as she slid the thread through the needle. "It's too bad that he isn't doing the individual shoots anymore, because then I could actually tag along to those. But now that his schedule is more flexible his father has him doing shoots with the rest of the models." Before, she had appreciated the change. It had meant that when she tagged along, she could see more normal working conditions for photoshoots compared to the individual shoots that had made up the majority of Adrien's modeling gigs when he was younger. She had enjoyed being able to see how the photoshoot team worked together with the designers to keep everything running smoothly as possible.

Now, though? She couldn't, because she wasn't supposed to know who Chat Noir was until after they defeated Hawkmoth for once and for all.

Beside her, Tikki still looked puzzled. "But if Chat Noir is there, don't you think you would have noticed before?"

Marinette shook her head. "Before, Chat Noir could have been any number of blond, green-eyed boys in Paris. But blond, green-eyed male models around my age? There's not as many of them." In fact, she couldn't think of any other male models that met those descriptions besides Adrien.

Huh. Perhaps Chat Noir's Miraculous changed his eye color. She had wondered about that before, since obviously there was some change already- no human had naturally green sclera, after all- so really, it wasn't a reach to think that maybe his eyes were a different color completely.

Still, she was 97% positive that if she saw her kitty as a civilian, she would recognize him, especially now that she knew he was a model friend of Adrien's. Even if he didn't have naturally green eyes, the punning would probably give it away right off the bat.

"Really? You're that sure?" Tikki asked a bit dubiously. "But you've interacted with Chat Noir when you weren't transformed before- you even worked with him for a while, and he didn't catch on! What makes you think that it would be different for you looking at him?"

"I was purposefully acting ridiculous and over-the-top," Marinette shot back. She had been really concerned about that whole ploy, especially since Chat Noir knew her so well, so she had gone out of her way to act as awe-struck as possible when he was paying attention to her. She had slipped a few times, of course- when they were with the Evillustrator and she had to get them out of the box before the ship sank was the most obvious example that came to mind- but by then she had hopefully thrown him so far off the scent that he wouldn't suspect her. "And I knew that I was talking to Chat Noir. If I go to one of Adrien's photoshoots as myself, then Chat Noir 's civilian self would probably just be his normal goofy self, and then that would give him away."

Tikki didn't look convinced. "Really? You don't think that Chat Noir might tone it down a bit while working?"

Marinette had thought of that, too. "Even then, I would just have to spot the blond male model on set that Adrien's joking around with. There can't possibly be many of those."

Tikki had to concede there.

"Chat Noir and I will just have to defeat Hawkmoth soon before either of us can slip up," Marinette decided as she picked up a half-complete dress and started carefully arranging it on the sewing machine. "Since he's Adrien's friend, I'm sure he would fit into our group well." She sighed and pressed her foot down, beginning to sew. "It's a pity we can't meet each other now. I bet he and Adrien are complete dorks together."

What followed was several months of Adrien and Marinette dancing oddly around each other, each trying to make sure that they didn't accidentally discover their partner's civilian identity. Marinette realized a week in that she might accidentally have pictures of her partner as a civilian, since she had all sorts of pictures from various Gabriel photoshoots, both men and womens' lines (after all, she now gathered the photos for inspiration, not (just) to ogle Adrien, so it wouldn't make sense to only have photos of one Gabriel model). She panicked and had Tikki gather up all of the photos and hide them, so she wouldn't accidentally figure it out or give in to temptation and peek.

"There wouldn't be the personality clues, of course, but if Adrien talks to him as often as I think he does based on Chat Noir's pun knowledge, then he's probably in a lot of Gabriel photoshoots," Marinette told Tikki as the kwami carefully pulled a page out of Marinette's inspiration binder. "And I would probably notice that, even if I wasn't trying on purpose." She cringed as she saw the number of pages Tikki was pulling out of the binder "...I guess it's a good thing I'm not really all that into menswear."

"Can I leave photos with just Adrien in them?" Tikki wanted to know, floating away from the binder to inspect the pile of pages she had pulled. "And what about pictures with guys in them if the guys aren't blond?"

"That's probably fine," Marinette decided. "Chat Noir hasn't ever dyed his hair, as far as I know. I just don't want to see pictures of blond Gabriel male models other than Adrien."

Tikki nodded and went back to shuffling her way through the modelling photos, putting pages that passed inspection back into the binder before continuing paging through. As she finished, she frowned.

"Marinette?"

Deep in a designing kick, it took a few more calls for Tikki to get Marinette's attention. When she did, Marinette looked up with a start. "What is it?" She noticed the lack of pages pulled out of the binder and frowned. "Did you hide the pages already?"

"There weren't any, Marinette!" Tikki exclaimed. "There aren't any blond male Gabriel models besides Adrien! They all have brown or black hair. I checked every photo."

That made Marinette frown. "But Adrien said... Do you think Chat Noir does dye his hair and he decided to do it brown instead? Mr. Agreste might just not hire other blond guys for modelling since he has Adrien, so maybe Chat Noir dyed his hair so he could get hired by such a large company. Could the Miraculous make his hair color show up as the natural color instead of the dyed color?"

Tikki frowned as she thought. "I don't know, Marinette. I've never had a Chosen who dyed their hair before. It's possible."

"So that could be a possibility, then," Marinette decided. "Or maybe Chat Noir could be someone who works on set who used to be a model when he was younger. A photographer, maybe, or something. That would explain the model walk and why there aren't any blond male models other than Adrien and how Adrien sees him probably every photoshoot." She groaned. "So now I can't go to any of Adrien's photoshoots without having to worry about accidentally recognizing Chat Noir. Great." She huffed in irritation. "I liked going to Adrien's photoshoots and seeing how they were run. Drat Hawkmoth and his stupid coward self. If he ever came out of his stupid lair, Chat Noir and I could have defeated him by now."

Curiosity was slowly killing one certain black cat in Paris. Now that Ladybug's identity was so close, he really wanted to know. He tried to talk himself in both directions alternately, one minute arguing that he shouldn't even venture close to Marinette's university out of fear of spotting her with a petite, blue-eyed girl with gorgeous black hair pulled back into pigtails, the next minute arguing that there were probably plenty of girls like that on campus and really, what were the chances that he would spot Ladybug right off the bat even with the additional clue of her being one of Marinette's friends.

"Or she could be just one of Marinette's classmates too, I suppose," Adrien told Plagg, who was So Very Over the entire discussion. "I don't remember if she specified or not. So maybe I wouldn't be very likely to see her anyway even if I visited Marinette over there." He paused. "Or maybe I shouldn't risk it, I don't know..."

As it turned out, the decision was taken out of his hands. Nino and Alya had teamed up with several of Marinette's friends from university to throw her a surprise birthday party. They invited all of Marinette's old friends from lycée and collège, which Adrien did know about, as well as all of Marinette's friends from university.

Adrien wasn't aware of that part until he walked into the door and nearly ran over a blonde girl he didn't recognize. As he apologized, he spotted several other people that he had never seen before. All of a sudden, his gut clenched.

He might be meeting Ladybug in her civilian form for the first time tonight.

I should go, his logical side argued. I need to go before I see her, because it's not safe to know! Besides, she doesn't want me to know right now! It's not safe for us to know yet!

But he couldn't. Now that he was at the party, there was no way to gracefully bow out. Besides, he had been looking forward to the party for quite some time, both because, well, party, and because he always enjoyed seeing Marinette. He would just have to hope that Ladybug wasn't coming.

Adrien was on edge as more guests showed up, praying with each new arrival that they wouldn't be his Lady. When the last guest arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief. While Marinette did have a couple friends with black hair, their hair was either too long or too short, and their eyes were brown instead of blue. In fact, Marinette was the only one at the party with the combination of black hair and blue eyes, though she had switched out her usual pigtails for a bun.

"Ladybug must not have been able to make it," Adrien told Plagg as an update when he stepped out to use the bathroom. Plagg didn't appear to care. "I guess that's for the better, but..."

But there was a small part of me that just wanted to know, he finished mentally. A small part that sounded very much like his fourteen-year-old self. He knocked that part of him over the head and sent it off to bed, then headed back out to join the party.

There was no point in dwelling too much on it now. He had a party to enjoy.

Besides, they needed to defeat Hawkmoth before they could share their identities with each other. He could only hope that it would happen sooner rather than later.

"Wow, another generic akuma," Chat Noir taunted as he dodged the Grocer, an akumatized grocery store employee who had gotten frustrated with customers asking about a sale item that was out of stock. "Hawkmoth really doesn't have enough backbone to face us himself, then, does him? No change there."

The Grocer scowled and Hawkmoth's glowing purple butterfly outline flashed over his face. Chat Noir smirked, unable to resist taunting a bit more. "What, is the Big Bad upset with the truth? He's never come out to fight us himself. All he does is send one lame akuma after another."

"Well, obviously he doesn't want to fight us on his own, he sees what we do to his akumas every other day," Ladybug chimed in, catching on to Chat Noir's plan. They had both been talking about needing to lure Hawkmoth out of his lair more and more often recently, and clearly taunting the supervillain out was the plan of the day. "So he hides in his sad little lair and sends out minions to try to do his dirty work for him- try being the key word here."

"That's it!" the Grocer finally announced loudly. "You're going to regret saying that soon! Do you really think you can take on both of us at once? He's coming out, and then you will lose! Mwahahaha!"

"Time to end this fast, then," Chat Noir said quietly to Ladybug. He was completely serious, jokes and puns completely gone for now. "Take down the akuma, then retreat and recharge fast before Hawkmoth gets here."

"Done." Ladybug nodded sharply as she eyed the akuma. "The corrupted item is his apron. I'll call a charm, and then we need to move."

They moved. A minute later, the Grocer was defeated and Ladybug had moved her Lucky Charm out of the way so they could repair the damage after the fight with Hawkmoth. She didn't want to tip Hawkmoth off to the fact that his akuma had been defeated before he arrived.

Hopefully he would be too distracted to notice via his link with the akuma.

Ladybug detransformed as soon as she landed in the alley. Tikki already knew what was going on, and she made a beeline for the cookies in Marinette's purse and started scarfing them down faster than Marinette had ever seen her do before. While Tikki ate, Marinette pulled out her phone to check the Ladyblog. If there were any signs of Hawkmoth being out, they could make a beeline for him and catch him before he discovered anything wrong. With any luck, they could take down Hawkmoth today with enough time for Marinette to do the reading for class that she had put off in favor of calling Adrien up and trading puns for nearly twenty minutes before the akuma had showed up.

"Ready to go, Marinette," Tikki told her, wiping some smudges of chocolate off of the edges of her mouth. "I'm super-charged up, so I should be able to hold your transformation for longer after you use Lucky Charm. Only up to ten minutes, though."

"All right." Marinette pocketed her phone, squaring her shoulders. "Let's do this and finish it for once and for all. Tikki, transform me!"

As Ladybug bounded back onto the rooftops to join Chat Noir and head over to meet Hawkmoth before he could retreat back into his lair, she couldn't help but smile. Even though the fight was bound to be one of the hardest ones they had ever done, she couldn't help but look forward to it. It would be great to no longer have to deal with akuma attacks, of course, no longer having to miss class or be late to get-togethers. It would be fantastic to work their frustration out on the man actually responsible for the years and years of attacks, and at the end of the fight know that it was finally over, not just another chapter in an endless battle.

And best of all, Ladybug mused as she and Chat Noir raced over the rooftops, it would be amazing to be able to hang out with Chat Noir as their civilian selves and be able to introduce him to her friends. He was one of her best friends, and being able to see him more often would be amazing.

She couldn't wait.

#Miraculous Ladybug #My writing #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain-Cheng

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mizukixtsukiyomi · 6 years

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11 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @doodle-roon & @bunny-wk-fanfic. I can’t just do one because I love you both.

Rules

1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. And tag 11 people

@doodle-roon‘s questions:

1. Can you explain your favorite color without saying what it is?

This is a hard one, especially since I suck at describing things and the irony of me being a writer...well, it’s dark, yet calming. It can remind you of a dark and cool night where gold star shine their purpose. It’s a water reflecting a mix of night.

2. Describe your favorite thing about one of the people you’ve met online.

We can both fangirl over every husband anime we have claimed, and the continuous talks have always made my days. I love to hear about her day, hearing her talk about her favorite anime/game husbandos and her kind heart <3

3. How are you feeling today and can you find a quote to go with it?

“ Today I will not stress over things I can’t control.” - Author Unknown

These past two weeks have been very challenging, and mostly because I have been trying to learn to cope with my anxiety and calm it down when I am at work. I conquered many fears while I was doing it, but even so I remember crying all the anxiety out after work. If you have anxiety or have similar situations you may understand how hard it is to keep it in and then finally it comes out. So right now, I am okay (since it is Sunday), but I am at the same time worried about Monday for work.

4. Did anything memorable happen this year?

Many things that I would consider memorable. I got my license which I never thought I would, and I got a job! And I was able to visit Japan again <3 and lastly, graduated with my Bachelor’s and started on graduate school. Hoping next year continues to bless me, and others.

5. What genre/type of book do you typically avoid? What would change your mind about it?

Oh, that is a good question. I usually avoid non-fiction, mainly because some can bore me, BUT if they are interesting like real crime books, and ones I can learn about interesting people, then I read them.

6. Dark, milk, white, or no chocolate?

Most definitely dark chocolate!

7. What’s something that you’ve learned as you’ve aged?

Nothing goes as planned, but having some sort of plan does help. Adult life isn’t easy, and people paint this picture of what it is. The truth is, it isn’t pretty, but life is about learning new things every day, and making mistakes is how you will learn more. Don’t be afraid of the unknown <3.

8. What’s your favorite thing about your favorite holiday?

I love Christmas! There is something about this holiday that gives me peace, and I just love that feeling Christmas brings. It’s hard to explain, but Christmas reminds me how lucky I have been every year despite the challenges.

9. Are you more intrigued by the past or the future?

You know, it’s a mix of the two. I like to learn about the past in hopes the future becomes a better place. The past has been ugly, and although that can never change, the future can. And one of the things I love to see about the future is how things progress whether it be morals, technology, and watching and hearing kids wanting to do better for the world.

10. Where did you get your taste in music?

I have a weird taste in music, especially since I like to listen to soundtracks. I absolutely love them (Ivan Torrent Reverie album is amazing). I think they started when I listened to anime soundtracks and then youtube just recommending more different ones. As far as music with lyrics, I get it from my mother. She loves latin music, so I listen to it in my car haha.

11. Top three things on your bucket list.

1. Visit most of the Asian countries

2. Become fluent in Japanese

3. Write a book

@bunny-wk-fanfic‘s questions:

1. Is there something you can do or do better than your family?

You know, I don’t know, but maybe take in information a bit differently. My mother has always told me I am a fast learner and have a good memory of news, facts, history, etc. so she says I am good with academics - that’s it haha.

2. If you had the chance to be with whoever you wanted for a weekend, regardless of status/cultural differences/ect., what would you do with them?

Oh, I would pick Ellen! I want to have a deep conversation, and just thank her for being such a humble human being. I love her so much, and I hope to meet her someday, but Barack Obama is on this list, too.

3. What is your favorite time of year and why?

Fall season for me because I love that I can finally use my boots that have been dusting up in my closet. I live in Arizona, btw. And also I can wear more jeans, and long sleeves. I hate shorts and stuff haha.

4. Who was your first character crush?

That would have to be Ichigo from Bleach. I mean, he is still cute, but I have others who are at the top of the list hehe.

5. What was your future dream when you were a kid?

Becoming a teacher. Don’t know why, but I had always wanted to be a teacher not to teach them because I know kids can teach me so much more than I can.

6. Book-Comics-Games vs Movie/Manga vs Anime. Which version is better?

This one is tough, but I would pick Movie/Manga vs Anime, but books can be included, too!

7. What is the fondest memory you have in regards to practical scaring another person?

Since I was little (and before my mother married my stepdad), I was living with my grandmother, aunt, and my mother in an apartment and I would love to wait for them to come out of the bathroom, and I just pop out from the side. They would laugh and then get angry.

8. Is there anything from your childhood that you think that should be brought back? ie. a toy, game, candy, fashion, show, etc.

This is coming back (I think?) but oversized denim jackets. I just love them <3

9. If there was one thing you could change in the world today, and it would be universal, what would it be?

Government corruption. Period. I think it has ruined so many innocent families, and I just wish these people would be gone.

10. What was your favorite subject in grade school and is it still your favorite now? Yes, no, what?

Math. I enjoy it; it’s like a puzzle. Although I saw that the method they do things now in grade school has changed!

11. What are you looking forward to this Christmas?

Food! And the beautiful Christmas lights. Sometimes the lights really put a little joy in me.

My Questions:

If you could be in any movie/cartoon/anime/book world, what would it be, and why?

What do you do on a rainy day (if you were to have the day off)?

Which childhood movie/cartoon/anime do you wish they would remake?

How would you describe your fashion-style?

If you had all the money in the world, what country would you live in?

Is there something you are proud you have accomplished so far?

Who is your ultimate OTP? (can be crossover or OC).

What will be your goal or resolution for 2018?

What is something you will not wear (hats, sweaters, shorts, etc.)?

If you could meet any celebrity, which one would it and why?

Have you made friendships online that you would consider are special to you?

Tagging (if you have been tagged, you can ignore mine):

@masquerabe @joker2113 @kakashixangela @fenrae-l @yoursalwaysfics @saey0ungs @shinsen-haruki @wolfluvr420 @starmienight @creamdream0426 @strudelqueen

#ask mizuki #enjoy

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raywritesthings · 7 years

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Hands

My Writing Fandom: Doctor Who Characters: Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor Pairing: Doctor/Donna Summary: Every relationship has a few stumbling blocks to overcome in the beginning. Prompted by @colorofmymindposts AO3 link

Donna had been in enough relationships to have a general pessimism about them. The men she'd known were often looking for something casual and short-term, and the ones who had been interested in something more permanent tended to either drive her or be driven away once that initial excitement faded and they could see each other in the light of day for who they really were. And that wasn't even taking Lance into account.

She’d been called bossy, pushy, too loud, too fat, too stupid, and everything under the sun. And she'd had her own fair share to say about her exes. Every time she got her hopes up, she always found herself disappointed.

She should have realized it wouldn't be any easier with a Martian.

In truth, her complaint seemed little in the face of everything that was better than her previous relationships. He treated her well, had fun with her, listened to her advice and challenged her in turn, and at the end of the day was the best friend she'd ever had. Donna worried, however, that that was their problem. Maybe they were just too good of friends to have that spark.

She knew she was attracted to him, even if his wit and intelligence and need to do good played just as large a factor as his looks. And she'd caught him staring often enough to be pretty sure there was something about her he liked, and it wasn't just her face!

It wasn't that he was a bad kisser, either; a man that could make anchovy breath somehow not a deal breaker had to have some skill. But kissing seemed to be all he was capable of.

The first few times, she'd thought he'd just been caught off guard. They were just trying out this relationship thing; they weren't even quite calling it a relationship yet. It was a test run. But every time Donna kissed him, without fail he would sort of stagger forwards and then backwards into the nearest wall or other obstacle and just let her do all the work while his arms hung at his sides. She didn't think he was trying to get away from her. He never asked her to stop, at any rate.

Did he just not want to touch her?

That night, they returned to the TARDIS after a long day spent wandering around the Festival of Twin Lights on Quarn, lightheaded from laughter and wine. Donna tripped in the corridor right into him, and his lips were there and so were hers so that just made sense, didn't it?

There was the expected stumble backwards — he was going to bruise his back one of these days — but his mouth was warm and eager enough against hers. Her hands trailed down his neck and to his shoulders where she pushed at his jacket. At least he’d left the coat off today. Did he have to wear so many layers?

Then Donna felt it; just the slightest brush against her elbow, maybe on the way to her waist. Her breath hitched — but then it was gone, and she heard a thunk as something hit some other surface. When she opened her eyes and looked to either side, she discovered he’d braced his hands against the walls that bracketed them.

Donna slowed the movement of her mouth against his, then muttered, “Okay, this is not gonna work.”

The Doctor made a noise that was halfway to puzzled before transforming into alarm as she pulled away. “Donna, what's wrong?”

“What's wrong?” Donna echoed. “Are you joking? Do you see where your arms are right now?”

He glanced to both the left and right of him. “Er, yes?” Slowly, his palms slid down the walls to instead rest at his sides.

“You’ve been keeping them to yourself ever since we started this. Does it just make it easier to imagine some skinny thing’s attached to these?” She gestured to her lips with one hand, noticing the way his eyes darted to them before licking his own.

Then her words seemed to catch up to him. “What?”

Donna turned her face away. It felt too hot, and she was blinking furiously to hold back the tears. Her pride wouldn't allow them in front of him. “Right,” she said, voice not as steady as she'd wanted. She stepped back.

“No, wait, Donna!” He darted forward, hands gripping her shoulders to halt her. He was fine touching her so long as it wasn't explicitly intimate, Donna noted, unless hand-holding counted as intimacy. They had that in spades.

She crossed her arms. This had better be good.

He started off strong, at the least. “I am not picturing someone else when I'm with you. How could I? You're lovely.”

Donna tried not to show how even that tiny bit of earnest praise affected her. He was looking nervous now, anyway, which probably meant he knew she wasn't going to like what he said next.

“It's not even that I don't want to, erm, that is — it's just — I can get it right,” he resorted to promising, eyes wide and pleading.

“Yeah? Well, here's you and me in reaching distance. Let's see what right looks like, Spaceman.”

“Okay. Yeah.” He made little move to actually do anything. His eyes hadn't lost that panic, and she could feel him fiddling with one of her shoulder straps between his thumb and forefinger like a security blanket. “But—”

Donna shrugged him off of her. “But what?”

“But what do I do with my hands?”

They both froze. The Doctor was incredibly pale and seemed about ready to bolt, never mind she was blocking the exit. Donna was positive he hadn't actually meant to say that.

She took a step closer, making him look at her again. “What do you mean?”

The Doctor shrugged helplessly, which had the added effect of righting his suit jacket. “I never know what to do with my hands!”

“What, when someone's kissing you?” Donna demanded.

“Yeah,” he answered. “Blimey, I barely know what to do with my anything. It all just sort of happens, and it's fast, but there's too much to process to have all occurred in that tiny little bit of time. It's like time’s distorting!”

Donna stared, hardly able to believe what he was saying and yet feeling vaguely flattered. Was she really that good?

It didn't last very long. “And I mean, you have always been especially touchy about, well, touching. There's rules on that sort of thing, isn't there? So I just thought, better safe than sorry.”

Donna heard him but just wanted to be sure. “You thought I was gonna slap you if you touched me?”

His eyes were fixed somewhere over her head as he replied carefully, “It has been known to happen.”

“Yeah, when you've startled me, not when I’ve been trying to — when we're — you—” Donna just managed to stop herself. Blurting out you’ve had kids! did not seem like a wise move at the moment. Derail the whole conversation and leave her feeling guilty to boot, that would. “You’ve done this before. Relationships.”

He squirmed a bit under her stare. “Yeah. Course I have. Just not, you know, for a while.”

Donna felt one of her eyebrows raise. “How long?”

“I dunno,” he groaned, tugging at his ear and looking anywhere but at her. “Does it matter?”

“Doctor.”

“Fine.” He blew out a breath, then at last gathered the courage to meet her eyes. “Few centuries?”

Her mouth fell open. “No way.”

“Yes way,” he answered shortly. “I’ve been busy. And I’m not exactly some Space Casanova, Donna, I’m almost nine-hundred and four.”

“You don't look it,” she pointed out shrewdly.

“Well,” he said, “people do seem to have been ignoring that lately.”

Donna shook her head. What was she supposed to do with this hopeless Martian?

“I’m sorry,” he said, eyes big and sad and remorseful and getting right at her heart.

“Oh, don't start that.” Great, she was going to end up feeling guilty anyway.

“No, but you’ve every right to want more. Humans typically do; you’re more emotionally open and tactile — which is a good thing. It's something I've learned to admire, even if I don't always know how—”

“Then we can work on that,” she offered, laying a hand on his arm.

He scoffed. “Right, because a project was exactly what you were looking for, I’m sure. I know you’ve had...experience, with other men who probably know far better what they're doing. Probably more your type, too,” he muttered.

Oh how long had he been letting that stir? Probably since Gramps had gone on about all her old boyfriends. Donna wondered if the TARDIS had floor-swallowing capabilities and if so how to access them.

Instead, she turned and leaned her weight against their little corner as well. “Considering how well all those experiences have turned out, I’m pretty sure you’ve got nothing to worry about. Though you're flattering yourself if you didn't think you were already a project.”

She saw the corners of his mouth twitch and knew he was struggling to hold on to his self-pitying mood. Donna wasn't having it.

“You could have just told me. Least I wouldn't have been worrying about being the latest in some long line of conquests you forget about after.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, angling his body in towards her. “Conquests, seriously? Who’ve you been talking to?”

“I dunno,” she sighed. “Suppose it doesn't really matter, not when we should've been talking to each other.”

“Correct as usual.” He looked down. “I do want this to work, Donna. I just didn't want to disappoint you. This is all a bit unfamiliar ground to me.”

He really didn't have a clue, did he? How much even an admission like this set him apart from so many of the men she'd known and wasted years on. When was the last time a failed relationship had been anything other than her fault?

But this relationship wasn't going to fail. Not if she had something to say about it.

“Well, I may not have been looking for a project — but I was looking for you,” Donna said softly. When he chanced to glance up at her, she smiled. “Anyway, I seem to recall somebody saying they're a quick learner a time or two.”

“Yes,” he agreed slowly, clearly trying to figure out where she was going with this.

Donna pushed off the wall to face him fully again. “So what do you say I give you the crash course?”

His lips turned up in a grin of his own. “Have I told you you're brilliant lately?”

“Only every day,” Donna replied with an eye roll. Honestly, this was what she was talking about; here she was trying to seduce him, and he was getting sentimental on her.

Donna not-so-surreptitiously adjusted the straps of the sundress she'd worn for the festival, which both distracted him and got them back on track. She stepped into his personal space again and watched his throat work as he swallowed, and it was impossible to deny a spark now.

“Right then, Doctor, rule one,” she intoned, voice pitched a bit lower than usual. She kept her head ducked slightly in order to look up at him through her eyelashes. Maybe this wasn't an emergency, but she'd saved her wiles for long enough. “When a woman you just took out on a date — or anytime, really — pulls you aside for a snog...”

They were practically sharing the same air now, and his eyes were starting to fall closed as he tilted his head down towards hers, but Donna had a job to do. She splayed both hands against his chest, effectively stilling him.

“...and that snog involves her putting her hands wherever she likes…”

His hearts were pounding, and when she trailed just the tips of her fingers over the fabric of his shirt she felt as well as heard him suck in a breath. There was an unexpected thrill to all this, being the one in control and setting the pace. She could learn to like it, at least for however long it took him to play catch up.

Donna decided she'd teased him enough and stopped what she was doing to make sure he actually got this part. “When that happens, generally speaking, a little reciprocation wouldn't go amiss. Think you can do that, Spaceman?”

It took him a beat to respond, and when he did it was with a squeaky, “Yep!” His eyes squeezed shut, and he tried again with a more normal pitched, “I mean, yes. Yes, I can do—”

Donna pressed forward to kiss him before a full-on ramble could get underway, and when his hands caught her about the waist, she smiled against his lips. Maybe there was hope for her and relationships after all.

#ten x donna #doctor x donna #donna noble #tenth doctor #doctor who #the doctor #my writing #manders

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