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tell-me-when-ur-ready · 5 years

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This Thing Called Love (part three)

Summary: When Shawn meets dancer Kellie in Toronto, he falls for her—hard. But Kellie has an invisible disability and thinks it’s impossible that someone could really love her the way she is.

Author’s note: I have multiple chronic illnesses that are similar to Kellie’s, but I don’t have the same exact health conditions she does. I’ve done lots of research, but I apologize if I get anything wrong!

Warnings: tiny bit of language

Word count: 1,600

Shawn’s texts didn’t stop when Kellie went home to Atlanta, a second-place win under her belt. A week after she’d gotten settled back in the small apartment she shared with two roommates, both dance majors at a local university, he texted her again.

It was early in the morning, 8 AM, but Kellie could already tell she wouldn’t be getting out of bed that day. The remnants of a migraine plus three days of barely eating anything due to nausea had her down for the count, in bed with Netflix and her roommate’s cat.

When her phone dinged, she expected it to be her boss; outside of teaching dance, Kellie nannied for a family with two kids, and she’d just texted the mom to tell her she couldn’t make it today. I’m not feeling well, Kellie had said—an understatement, considering she could barely stand the light from her computer screen and she was so weak she didn’t know if she could walk to the kitchen and make herself food.

But the display said Shawn Mendes (something that would’ve made Kellie pinch herself, if she’d had the energy—she would definitely win a game of “who’s the most famous person in your phone”). Swiping the screen revealed the full text, which was just three words: Check your email.

Curious, Kellie opened her email and waited for it to load. At the top of her inbox was an official invitation to be part of Shawn’s music video for his new song. She scrolled slowly through the email; it detailed payment, location, timeframe, costume, the vision for the choreography, and everything else she needed to know. With every word, Kellie felt herself getting more excited. This was what she’d always wanted, what she desperately needed—a chance to prove herself, to become a professional dancer and begin earning real money doing what she loved.

And then she shook herself back into reality. She was disabled. She had complications from Celiac disease. She had chronic migraines. This was the third day in a row she’d spent right here, in bed, not feeling well enough to do literally anything else. How did she think she could commit to filming a whole freaking music video—something where she had to show up in top form, ready to dance for hours under someone else’s schedule and direction? Her body didn’t work that way; Kellie needed to make her own schedule, to go at her own pace, to be free to rest when her body needed to rest. And up until now, she’d been fortunate to find jobs that were willing to accommodate her disability.

But the real world didn’t work that way.

Kellie locked her phone and slid back under the covers.

***

Kellie didn’t tell anyone about Shawn until well over a week after she got home. When she’d arrived back in Atlanta, her roommates and friends had asked her how the dance competition was and what she did in Toronto, and she’d said she won second place in her division (dancing to Shawn’s song, not that that was relevant) and explored the city’s coffee shops when she was feeling well enough. Which was all true. She’d just omitted one tiny, enormous detail. Kellie didn’t really know why she hadn’t told anyone about Shawn; she’d half expected paparazzi photos to appear the next morning and do the job for her. But they didn’t, and then she was busy navigating her feelings—not that she had feelings, because it was just a professional relationship, or it was until he’d started texting her so often—and somehow she’d just never gotten around to it.

But now she needed advice. And now, her roommates were going to kill her.

The following Monday morning, finally recovered from her latest migraine and feeling decent, Kellie was in the apartment kitchen making a smoothie to take to work. It was early June now and today was the kickoff for weeks of summer dance camp at the studio where she worked, six hours a day of more or less just babysitting a dozen eight-year-olds in tutus.

Her roommates Mackenzie and Shelby walked into the kitchen at the same time, Mackenzie dressed for a summer dance intensive and Shelby on her way to work at the local Gap.

“I have something to tell you,” Kellie said, shutting off the blender and turning to face them before she lost her nerve.

Mackenzie’s eyes immediately opened wide. “Oh my God. You’re moving out. You got a new diagnosis. You’re pregnant?!”

“Pretty sure you have to actually look at a boy to get pregnant,” Shelby said, and Kellie snapped a dishtowel at her.

“Stop it. This is serious; I need advice. But first, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Okay?”

“Oka-a-ay,” Mackenzie said, wrinkling her forehead. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”

Kellie ignored her and plowed ahead. “Okay, so when I was in Toronto, well, I didn’t tell you everything that actually happened there. I have an opportunity to be in a music video, but I’m not sure if I should do it.”

“But that’s so cool!” Shelby exclaimed. “That’s what you’ve been wanting! A chance to dance professionally. I mean, if it’s for a real singer and not just some low-budget thing?”

“It is,” Kellie said. She knew what Shelby meant; she’d definitely gotten lots of offers in the past to dance in a music video being produced in someone’s garage. It would be great “exposure,” she’d been told. Maybe, but exposure didn’t pay her rent or her medical bills.

Mackenzie leaned on her elbows on the island. “So, why would you not do it then?”

“You know,” Kellie said, slumping back against the counter. “My health. Sometimes I just don’t know if being a professional dancer is actually a reality for me. I can’t sign a contract saying I’ll dance and then not show up the day of the shoot because I’m in bed with a migraine.”

“Would you have to fly to Toronto to do it?” Mackenzie asked, and Kellie nodded. Travel—long restless days with lots of noise and people and unfamiliar food—made her health problems flare up.

Shelby had been quietly moving around the kitchen as they spoke, putting a bagel in the toaster oven, taking it out, buttering it with a knife.

“I think you should try,” she said finally. “I mean, yes, your health will probably be an issue. But it’s probably always going to be an issue, yanno? So why wait? Just explain things to them and maybe they’ll work with you.”

Kellie shrugged, fidgeting with the frayed edge of the dishtowel in her hand.

“Is the singer anybody I would have heard of?” Shelby asked casually, and Kellie cringed. This was the part where they were going to kill her.

“Um… yeah,” Kellie said, and Shelby raised her eyebrows, waiting. “Um—it’s Shawn Mendes.”

There was a loud bang as Mackenzie slapped both palms on the island. “Shawn freaking Mendes?” she shrieked. “No way! You got invited to be in his music video? That’s amazing! Did someone on his team see your In My Blood dance at the competition? That’s how they found you?”

Kellie let out a whoosh of breath. “Um, actually, I ran into him. And he just asked me. And then, he kept texting me… and we went to lunch… and a couple of days ago he sent me the official email about the video.”

“HOLD up,” Mackenzie practically shouted. “You went to LUNCH? With SHAWN MENDES?! SHAWN FUCKING MENDES? Have you SEEN his Calvin Klein ad?”

Shelby was giggling, seeming much more unbothered about Kellie’s revelation. “Only you, Kellie, would go to Toronto and go out to dinner with Shawn Mendes,” she said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kellie said, as Mackenzie continued her conniptions. “My life is boring. I don’t know why he asked me to lunch, and I wasn’t even going to go, but I did. I don’t know why I went or—”

“I’ll show you why,” Mackenzie shouted from the other side of the kitchen. Kellie tuned her out.

“So,” she said to Shelby. “You think I should try?”

Shelby took the dishtowel from Kellie’s hands and held it up. The edge she’d been fiddling with was completely frayed now, hanging down in strings.

“Yes. I think you should,” she said firmly. “And I think you should stop worrying so much.”

Mackenzie was crossing the kitchen in purposeful strides, shoving her phone in Kellie’s face. “THAT’S why,” she shouted, and Kellie raised her eyebrows at the image of Shawn in his Calvins, abs on full view with that one little curl hanging over his forehead, practically smoldering at the camera.

“Okay, okay,” Kellie said, pushing the phone away. “I know what he looks like. After all—” She paused, unable to resist a little teasing. “I went to lunch with him,” she finished with a smirk.

Mackenzie threw up her hands. “Ho-ly crap, we are living in the future. What did you guys even talk about? Was it literally just the two of you? Where did you eat? Did he pay?”

“Hey,” Shelby said suddenly, “we’re running late. We have to go. But tonight you’re going to tell us every word he said!”

“Can I have his phone number?” Mackenzie cried, but then Shelby was shoving her out the door and they were gone.

Laughing to herself, Kellie leaned back against the counter and picked up her phone, opening her email inbox. And then she opened the email from Shawn’s team and hit “reply.”

Taglist: @rosiemercy @learning-howto-be-myselfx3

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes blurb #sm #shawn

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sleepyducktime · 5 years

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Young Carer rant time

So like, I've been feeling a bit off emotionally lately and I know, this happens to everyone and we all have problems with our family. The thing is though I've been thinking and I never actually realized how many of my problems come with being a young carer. Or more specifically the situation that creates. (Disclaimer this is just my personal experiences as a carer in a UK city. I'm not claiming it's like this everywhere but hey, for all I know it might be.) ((This got quite long, just a heads up))

For anyone who doesn't know, a young carer is, as the name suggests, a young person who cares for someone - usually a family member such as a parent sibling or someone else close to them. This person does not have to be related, does not have to live in the same house, you do not have to be the only person looking after this person to be classed as a carer and whether or not you're a carer now, that can change with time. (There is, I'm sure, a difference between caring for someone often and when someone has, a cold for example, but I'm not an expert and I'm not gonna say who is and isn't a carer.) What I will say though is wow people do not talk about this do they?

For example: did you know that it's estimated 1 in 10 people in the uk are carers? And that the most common statistic used suggests that well over 700,000 of these carers are young people? And I don't mean young adults because that's a whole other group, I mean ages 5-21.

Now that we have the background, here's my actual post.

Hi! I'm a young carer from the uk! I'm one of the very lucky ones! I only had to miss school once or twice, I only really started doing a lot of caring when I was about 12 and I had other people who helped with the caring. That last one is the big one for me for the following reason.

I never considered myself a carer. It was only when my older sister started going to our local group when I was 14 that I had even heard the term. "I'm not a carer! I've seen them on TV, that's kids whose parents can't leave the house and need 24/7 care!". Now I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it's just the same as most things on TV, the extreme version. I eventually went along to this group and ho boy! The things I learned there!

In no particular order!

Caring does not have to be physical. It can be anything from helping someone bathe and dress, to making sure they take their meds, making sure they get to work or school on time or just caring for someone emotionally.

Caring for someone emotionally can often be the hardest part. Looking after someone so close to you and helping them through everything can cause a huge drain on your own energy.

Sometimes, you're caring and you don't even know it. I didn't realise until my late teens that not evey child has to push the trolley for their disabled parent and not everyone has to do all the (literal) heavy lifting because no one else physically can. Not everyone spends their lunch times with only their sister to make sure she leaves the house this week.

That some people might think badly of having to do the above. Because (and this is technically point 5) yes it is 100% ok to resent the situation of being a young carer. It is 100% ok to wish you weren't. But I haven't met a single person who wouldn't do it gladly or who would blame anything about it on the person they care for. The blame is always on a lack of support. (We'll get to that, that's the point I'm making)

That your caring situation can change. Sometimes people, or the situation get better or worse. Sometimes people move in and out of the situation entirely.

Having a support structure is key and can flip your entire life. I personally went to the local Young Carers group. I'm assuming each one is different but in mine we had;

Weekly meetings to chill, go out for food, do fun stuff you might not get a chance for otherwise and have two hours a week with other kids who understand your situation, without having to worry about home life. You could show up and leave whenever you liked no pressure.

Respite. Overnight trips out of the city to experience things you might not usually get. These could range from outdoor activities to spa weekends to a whole week out at sea.

A forum group. Led by the young people, to talk about things from what we want more in weekly groups to putting together speeches we give at parliament.

A support worker who you could talk to 1 on 1 about anything at all. They help with school life and talking to teachers when needed, getting a job, getting into uni, getting professional help with anything needed from mental health to financial support for just about anything. It's all 100% confidential and they do everything they can to help. When possible they will even offer to come along to things like first interviews or appointments and wait outside as moral support.

These are just the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I have loads more but I wasn't actually planning on writing this much!!

Back to the actual post! Most people, grow up, learn to do chores, complain about it and move out. Without other limitations (like money or controlling guardians to name a few) you can enjoy time out with friends, get all your school work done, get a part time job if you want and come home knowing you can rest. As a carer, if you have the time and opportunity to do that, you can spend up to your entire time thinking about what's happening at home. This isn't to say that every carer is always busy but it definitely happens. (I'm almost 19 and only just starting to look for a job because I literally didn't have the time. In a world where people start working at 16 and things like socialising and extracurriculars are so important, its pretty clear how this can be detrimental.) When all of that is done, there isn't a place to rest because home is where the rest of the work starts.

You can spend your entire childhood doing lots of the housework, cooking every meal, doing all the shopping, taking someone to appointments or just whenever they have somewhere to be. These things can add up. Sometimes its making sure they leave the house or take medication, and I've not even mentioned things like helping them get dressed, helping them bathe, making sure the bills are paid or, in some people's cases, acting like a literal parent for a sibling because no one else can. Being the only person who will listen to their physical and or mental issues. (And I would like to remind you here that the carers we are talking about are 5-21.)

When you do get time to yourself, often you just want to sit and do nothing (despite the fact that sometimes, you feel guilty for this.)

The problem is not just having to do all these things. The problem is not being able to talk about it. You can't talk to people in your house about your problems because you might be the one thing holding them together. You can't take a day off because everyone needs food and clean clothes and if you don't do it no one will. You can't talk to school friends about it because what if they don't understand or when you do the response is "oh well I make my own dinner as well it's not that bad". You can't tell any of this to the person you care for because what if they think you blame them? You have to think about whether or not you can go to college or move out because who is going to look after the people you love? And depending on the person or the task, you stop getting thanks, certain stuff is suddenly expected no matter what, and in some cases they might get angry at you for doing it (I know you don't want the curtains and window open but you haven't been outside in days). This is why I said I'm lucky. Not only did I have another person to split the work with, I also didn't start at an exceptionally young age.

Now this isn't meant to be a complaint about being a young carer. Many of the people I know have said it's made them even closer and I definitely agree!! This post is (yes we're finally at the point!! ADHD rambling over!) about the fact that we don't talk about it. I was a young carer to three people and I hadn't even heard of it? It was mentioned once in all my time at school on an A4 poster during carers week (the school didn't even realise one of their students was on the poster.) If I didn't have my group I likely would have dropped out of school, and become severely depressed. I would have missed out on so many different social and cultural activities, I wouldn't have a CV. And I have a relatively average caring job.

The thing is, they can only help so many people. Most young carers will have all these same issues at home, work, school and in their social life and they won't have any help at all. Even if there wasn't a limit on how many kids can join a project due to funds and resources, most young carers don't know about the help available.

Which is why we need to start talking about this more. We need to make it so carers aren't ashamed to tell people. So help is easier to come by and we won't miss out on basic childhood necessities. Because if the majority of carers still struggle a lot with support, we need to ask what's happening to the kids without it.

How can we do this you ask? Simple! Look into local Young Carers groups! Some accept donations (both money and things like books or toys) some do fundraising, just get involved! Check your local education places and youth centres! See if they can raise awareness with posters, talks, including it in lessons. If you don't have a local young carers group, find out why! It might be a lack of funding. Going to local councils and expressing the need for more education and funding can be very helpful when coming from these groups so imagine if other people were to help!

There are over 29,000 young carers in my country. (I'm also not even sure if this statistic includes anyone over 16). The carers projects only manage to help around 2400. That's a lot of children who need help. And a lot of people who need to start talking about it.

#young carers #youth groups #young carer #rant?#rant #kinda #uk #sharing our caring #i didn't even mean to write this much #it was just meant to be a little psa #that being said #i realised i had a lot of feelings #so next time they ask if anyone has anything to say #to convince them to give us funding next year #ima just give them this #long post

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thataspdfeel · 7 years

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I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

#mod vann #long post #text heavy #like this is obscenely long lmao #im so sorry #Anonymous #anon #vannswers

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