#shitshitshitshit

[srnaju]

WHY DOES HIS EXPRESSION GO TO

Oh. To. oh………

#murder drones #murder drones ep 7 #oh shit #n murder drones #is he okay? #IS UZI OKAY?? #shitshitshitshit #I’m scared #is n ok

[futuristicprincecat]

PLEASE STOP

#orange cassidy #chuck taylor #sexy chuckie t #trent beretta #shitshitshitshit

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

i’m realizing the jealousy issues i used to have that were so bad they legit sent me to hardcore therapy are coming back 😅😅😅

scared-

#all my love ౨ৎ #𐙚๋�� ⭑ how covey got her phd in yapping #someone call my therapist bc this is gonna become a problem i can feel it #FUCK ME GODDAMN IT #ID BEEN DOING SO GOOD TOO #SHITSHITSHITSHIT #i’m fine 😁✌️ #…probably

[hemoachromatic]

shit

#HA #shitshitshitshit #fuck no no i thought i'd have more time i thought i'd have m

[majikdog]

Contacting my instructor, I am unfit to complete tonight’s assignment as I’ve caught sight of the hot metal dad

#~respectfully~ #I WAS NOT EXPECTING #I WASNT #IM #FLABBERGASTED #POSITIVELY STUNNED #SHIT!!!!!!! #SHITSHITSHITSHIT #My Mummy Dust #Ghost #Tobias Forge #AMAs

[sebnameyourcar]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK OFF CANADA

#SHITSHITSHITSHIT #S H I T #world cup 23

[newts-and-sharks]

oH SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT I HAVE TO FINISH AND PRESENT A POWERPOINT SLIDE SHOW THINGY FOR MY SOCIOLOGY CLASS BY TOMMORROW AND IM NOT EVEN HALF FINISHED OH SHIT

#UGH CURSE THE SUN AND MOON #AND CURSE YOU TUMBLR #ITS CURRENTLY 8:33 #I ONLY HAVE LIKE AN HOUR TO FINISH IT #SHITSHITSHITSHIT #IGTG BYE GUYS #BE SAFE AND DRINK WATER

[iwannaseeyouunravvel]

oh

oh i see

im,,,,pining,,,

#shit #shitshitshitshit

[just-absolutely-super]

MMBN/Fullmetal Alchemist crack/serious:

Kai: Once I get good enough at alchemy, I'm going to make a car that turns into a suit of armour that looks like yours, Master Hub.

Lan: Woah! A transforming car?

Hub: That certainly sounds like something you'd enjoy, Lan.

Kai: I'll send this car to my mom, she'll be really excited to see that I learned alchemy.

Hub: We'll be back tomorrow, so don't worry.

Lan: We'll teach you everything we know about alchemy, and even more!

Kai: I understand, masters!

(Meanwhile, Proto is mentioning an upcoming assessment with Todoroki…)

Proto: I hope you understand the consequences should you not deliver, Todoroki

Todoroki: Yes...I understand

Proto: Good, make sure you aren't late

Proto leaves. Kai enters.

Kai: Dad! Dad, look!

Todoroki: What is it now, Kai?

Kai: It's a toy car! I made it with alchemy!

Todoroki: Excuse me? You...did alchemy?

Kai: Yeah! Yeah! Masters Lan and Hub taught me! Now I can be an alchemist just like you! M-Maybe I can even help you on your assessment!

Todoroki: .......

Kai: D-Dad...?

Todoroki, with a chilling smile: That's amazing, son! You sure have a lot of talent, just like your father

Kai: Haha, thanks!

Todoroki: And...I think I would like that help, if you're willing to give it

Kai: Of course! Anything, Dad!

Todoroki: Good...you know, your mother also offered to help me before she left

Kai: Really?

Todoroki: Yes...and you're just like her. So helpful to me... Come, and bring Turbo too. I think he could be...useful as well

Kai: Uhh okay?

#anon #responses #mmbn hc land #crack edition #I FELT SO BAD WRITING THIS #I'M SORRY KAI I'M SO SORRY #SHITSHITSHITSHIT

[bitchesandbrosandnonbinaryhoes]

shit i might be aroace

#shitshitshitshit #being aroace isnt bad #i just asked someone to homecoming tho so its kinda a bad time #why must jaidenanimations be so good at explaining things in a funny yet accurate way

[justchillaine]

First CET tomorrow

#momints #ngl im kinda sad #no one has wished me luck yet #aside from my fam of course #justchillaine ramblings #im nervous #shitshitshitshit

[theclaravoyant]

Lucius is just out here telling people he has impeccable balance . He’s about to get roped into sooooo many shenanigans and fuckeries

#Lucius climbing out on those sideways sail arm things : shitshitshitshit #Lucius spriggs #talk shit get jobs #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers

[mariatesstruther]

baby sarah having echolalia BAD as a kid and constantly repeating everything joel and tommy say. every curse word, every lil sung-under-their-breath jingle, every goddamn thing

joel can barely get through a work call because he’ll answer “hello, miller family construction,” and without fail sarah will be singing’ “miller miller fammy constructioooooonnn” to the tune of ‘dora dora dora the explorer’ for the next two minutes

#neurodivergent miller tag #baby autistic sarah means so much to me guys to have no idea #joel miller #sarah miller #the tipsy bison #the millers #tommy says shit in front of her the first time and she just will NOT stip saying it #he’s panicking and she’s just giggling going shit shitshitshitshit shittt shit #echolalia

[grimmzmoth]

oh god my mom knows

i can’t actually download things i can only make accounts without my mom knowing so…….

#character ai #shitshitshitshit- #man im fucked LMAO

[cryptidwritings]

"No Pain, No Gain"

The Merry Whump of May - Day 1

masterlist

prompts: compass, haphephobia, kitchen

a/n: this marks a little over a year since I started this blog! I couldn't NOT jump on this for that reason, even for small one-shots.

Content: recapture, noncon touch, creepy whumper, intimate whumper, knife, burning.

Whumpee awoke that morning and willed themselves out of bed and into the kitchen for breakfast. They had plans today. Caretaker had told them to start making plans for themselves.

"Take a small walk. Get a coffee... something for you to look forward to while I'm working. Please, Whumpee?"

They had reluctantly complied. They didn't want to walk. Or talk. Or do much of anything. After being ordered around by- after being ordered around for so long, all they really wanted was to sit down and do absolutely nothing for as long as humanly possible.

What had made them do it wasn't necessarily the fact that Caretaker wanted them to; it was the look in their eyes when they got home every afternoon and Whumpee hadn't gotten out of bed. Then the months later when they finally made their way to the couch... and that was where they stayed.

It made Whumpee feel guilty. They would probably be content sitting in a box under a bridge, but Caretaker had to be there the night of their escape.

They just had to be in the car that Whumpee wandered in front of in a fevered daze.

So, they made plans. Those plans were to go for a small walk to the park across the street. They had readied a bag with keys and their phone, plus a map of the city in case they somehow got lost - which was likely without Caretaker's internal compass to guide them.

First, however, they needed breakfast. Whumpee was craving something sweet... pancakes, maybe? Within minutes the batter was cooking, and Whumpee found themselves whistling as they turned the pancake.

Smoke wafted up from the pan's surface, and they flipped on the range fan and continued with their little whistle as they meandered back to the fridge for a carton of milk.

"Burnt again?"

Whumpee's hand froze inside the fridge, and their entire body shivered as they felt a hand run up their back.

"You never were a good cook," A familiar pair of lips pressed against their ear, "but that's not why I chose you, is it?"

They closed their eyes tight, then reopened them, hoping that it would make the bad things go away, but it didn't. Not this time. Their heart hammered in their chest as their whole body lost feeling - all except where they felt Whumper's hand.

"I don- don't like it..." Whumpee's voice quivered. Why did they say that? Of all things? Why not: get the hell away from me? Why not do something instead? But the feeling of that hand was all it took to paralyze them.

Whumper knew this.

"I'm so happy to have found you again."

No. No no... god not that. Not this. Not ever again-

Whumpee whimpered as the other hand came up to meet their face. The cold of a blade pressed against Whumpee's cheek, pulling their head to look into Whumper's glistening, abyssal, eyes. Whumpee clocked one of Caretaker's knives within Whumper's grasp.

It was enough of a distraction for Whumper to clasp onto Whumpee's wrist, and pull. Within a second, Whumper had Whumpee's arm behind their back, bent over the hot stove where the pancake had begun to burn.

"No! G-get o-off me!"

Whumper draped their entire body over Whumpee's back, pressing every inch of themselves against them. Whumpee tried to hold their breath against the black smoke rising from the charcoaled pancake, but Whumper's body on theirs made them hyperventilate with panic, and they immediately began to cough - each time more aware of Whumper's hands.

Their eyes filled with tears. Their eyes and nose burned from the smoke, and their skin from the touch they thought they had escaped.

"No pain, no gain. Isn't that right, Whumpee? Is that what you were trying to show me by leaving?" Whumper was so close now. They could feel every tremble of Whumpee's body.

They adjusted their hand behind Whumpee's neck to shove them down further. Whumpee began to struggle again, but they wouldn't do too much, not like this, not to Whumper.

Whumper smiled, and delivered the last thing they knew Whumpee needed.

Even through their shirt and jacket, the feeling of Whumper's lips traveling up their back made them freeze in a panic, and suddenly, even Whumper's touch began to fade from existence. They tried to fight it - to be strong.

"I've learned my lesson, Whumpee," Whumper cooed, and pressed their lips against Whumpee's ear.

"Your turn."

And they shoved Whumpee's face onto the pan.

#themerrywhumpofmay #recapture #noncon touching tw #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #knife tw #held at knifepoint #burns #burn whump #mwmday1 #i feel like the white rabbit writing this lol i'm late i'm late shitshitshitshit #i'm quickly learning brevity is not my forte #here it is hope you enjoy if you're reading all the tags lmao

[gehetzterfuchs]

.

#shitshitshitshit i think i really have a real crush on him. the 2nd crush in 3 months. great #but what about my feelings for t. ??? #thoughts #icke.txt #my heartbeat just fastended when he texted me to invite me to come over and eat with him (he made pancakes) #i‘m not even lying when i say that i‘m hungry #just wanted to cook or go grab some food—-