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braxlrose · 10 months

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things i imagine 2005 bf bill does

• when/if he finds you sitting out in the rain he'll end up sitting down with you. it took some convincing because when he found you he was standing there, holding a regenshirm, shivering and was like "what the fuck are you doing out here 😮‍💨."

• it ended in you dragging him to the ground with you and playing in the rain. bonus points in you two ended up rolling in mud 💀

• memorizes your coffee order and always gets you a cup whenever he goes to get coffee or walks by a coffee shop

• plays with your hands when you two are cuddling and kisses your finger tips

• is always holding your hand. wherever you two are going, you guys are hand in hand. he loves the feeling of it and it just makes him really happy

• you two go on walks all the time whenever you guys aren't sleeping, rehearsing or doing school stuff and it's always so much fun. like always, you're holding hands, you guys get donuts and he buys you stuff whether you need it or not

• you two went skinny dipping together one night. you guys had been together for a couple months now and you were hanging out in your bedroom when you suggested you guys go "do something fun".

• he had no idea what you meant until you snuck our your window and brought him to the nearest lake and stripped. his eyes practically popped out in the sockets when you stepped into the lake and put your head underneath the water. you looked super sexy btw, all "you comin' in 🤭?"

• paints your nails for you and you paint his. he loves doing it with you because so many girls and guys make fun of him for doing it and he loves how much you don't judge him for anything

• i mentioned this in this story, but he ties your shoes for you whenever he notices they're untied.

• when his roots starts showing, he loves it when you help him redye his hair. and he also loves it if you have colored hair too that he can dye for you

• gets you sweet little things like charm bracelets that he made himself. like the ones with different colored string and then the little beads on them that are white with letters that you can spell stuff out with.

• makes you breakfast in bed when he isn't feeling lazy and wakes up before you

• smiles like a dumb idiot whenever you stand up to bullies for him. he interlocks his fingers with yours and rests his chin on your shoulder as you berate them, just holding in his laughter

• plays mermaids with you whenever you guys are at the pool hanging out

• buys you new clothes whenever he sees something you might like

• goes all out for valentines day. as we all know he's a hopeless romantic and believes in true love and all that shit so he LOVES spending valentines day with you.

• he buys you chocolate, flowers, romantic movies, writes you little notes and puts them in your locker throughout the day.

• if you two talk about having sex on valentines for the first time, he'll get you guys a hotel room and go all out with rose petals and shit.

• DO YOU GUYS KNOW THE SCENE IN 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU WHERE KAT IS SUPER MAD AT PATRICK AND HE SINGS "CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU"? I SCRIPTED THIS HAPPENS AND YALL NEED TO DO IT AS WELL. if you don't know the scene, here it is.

• loves jaw kissing. doesn't matter if he's kissing your jaw or you're kissing his jaw, he loves it so much

• he loves it when you cook for him, especially if you're really good at cooking. same goes for baking

• plays footsie with you under the table during school hours

• bill likes PDA but he doesn't like stuff like shoving your tongues down eachothers throats at school. but he loves wrapping his arm over your shoulder, small kisses, hand holding, kissing your temples, etc.

• you and him have snowball fights im winter and it's always tons of fun. afterwards you both go inside and have some hot chocolate.

• he doesn't want you getting a cold during the winter so he practically forces you to wear gloves, a hat, jacket, scarves etc.

• but for some reason he only has to wear a jacket and he'll be perfectly fine 🤨

• kisses your hands and traces your tattoos

• combs your hair for you to make sure you don't have any knots your hair

• helps you out with homework and you do the same for him

• walks you to class with him hand in your back pocket and kisses you goodbye when he has to leave to go to his class. but he always gets super happy whenever he goes to a class that you're also in.

• invites you to parties with the rest of tokio hotel and ends up in some random room with you cuddling in your arms cause he gets all lovey dovey when he's drunk

• lights your cigarettes for you when you two are hanging out. he either lights it with a lighter or lights his cigarette first and then lights your with his cigarette. he usually does the second one because he thinks it's more cute and romantic

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam @5hyslv7

a/n: let me know if you guys want more

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daemonoferror · 1 year

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A date to Build-a-Bear with your Scarlet Hollow SO

Includes: Stella, Avery, Kaneeka, Oscar, Reese, and Wayne

Note: idk, earlier this year I got sad I couldn't just. Go to build a bear. So I started writing these. Reader is hardly mentioned but I did write it in the spirit of you being there.

Stella

• No clue how you got her there, but hey, you did it.

• Gretchen's going with you by the way, that's a given but I think important to mention.

• Go around Halloween, hopefully someday they'll have the mothman bear we've all dreamed of.

• Stella has so many ideas for what to make, though.

• Get a Halloween themed bear- no wait, a dog- no wait, this one looks really fucking stupid it's perfect- no wait-

• You have to go multiple times so she gets every bear she can think of.

• If she can make one look like Gretchen or a cryptid that'd be perfect

• But she'd also love to make a really screwed up, funny looking bear. Like-

• "Oh yeah, I noticed this one's missing an eye so. I'm getting this one." "This shirt has a typo on it, that's so funny i love it" "do you think they'll let me mismatch the shoes??" "a HOOK HAND ACCESSORY?! Well obviously I need that"

• You would not be able to tell a grown woman made this bear.

• She'll DIY it clothes later, it has it's own little wardrobe of wacky outfits

• She'll buy accessories she thinks Gretchen could wear.

• Lets Gretchen lick the heart before it's put in the bear

• Might get a sound effect heart but worries it'll be too annoying.

• If she got a scentiment it'd probably be the pumpkin one or... pizza? Because that existed, apparently?

• Names it something silly- an old man name like Harlod. Or give it a cryptid name.

• Absolutely fucking loved the date, she's already planning the next trip there.

Avery

• They'll think the idea is very cute.

• Make sure to go around spring/saint Patrick's day.

• Wants a flower print or green bear. (The point of going near saint Patrick's day is too ensure there's a shamrock bear to meet these requirements)

• Chooses the lavender scentiment for their bear.

• Will do that thing where you record a message for eachother's bear. They'll do a simple "I love you *kiss noise*" and it makes you swoon. They are SO perfect.

• You make a plant pun for their's, they love it no matter how stupid it is.

• They somehow make doing the heart ritual look cool?

• Finds a plant shirt and the bear's fate is sealed: they're gonna match :o

• The bear will be just as stylish as them (maybe more, I keep imagining Avery giving it a monocle accessory)

• Either names it after a plant- Like Magnolia or Clover- or names it the same way they name their plants (assuming they name their plants bc... who doesn't?)

• Very happy with the date and their bear, will show it off to everyone. Maybe it has a place at the diner- if they can find a spot garunteed to not get maple syrup spilled on it, anyways.

Kaneeka

• She probably came up with the idea, but feels a little silly about it at first because it seems so childish.

• Go around Halloween to once again ensure the pick of a spooky lil bear

• She takes it very seriously- this is gonna be the best goddamn bear ever.

• There are 2 wolves fighting inside Kaneeka: The goth and the nerd.

• So she's having a difficult time choosing between whatever collab buildabear is doing at the time (superheroes, sonic, Mario, whatever) or making the coolest goth bear you've ever seen.

• Please just let her get both 🥺

• Thin mints cookie scentiment for one bear, coconut for the other.

• Will do a cute sound effect for her bear. She would suggest recording one for eachother, but she doesn't know what to say.

• She's not mismatching the collab bear, it's getting the accessories that was made for it.

• The goth bear will get the nicest outfit ever, in all blacks and dark colors.

• She'll also DIY it clothes to fit her aesthetic better

• Gives it a very pretty, elegant name, like Celeste or Audrey

• The other bear, she fills it out the exact way she would for the character, which just feels like extra work.

• "Why does Batman need a birth certificate? He's batman." Proceeds to do the right thing and names it Bruce Wayne and changes the birthday to the right birthday.

• Thinks it was the perfect date, and is really happy you went together.

Oscar

• You'll be forced to take Rosalina and her friends with you, so not really a date. He'll see it as more of an outing for the kids, but it's kinda fun to participate.

• Gets the classic bear with brown, curly fur.

• Won't get a scent or a sound effect.

• Is a bit embarrassed to do the heart ritual, but turns it around quickly, joking that a teddy bear's heart transplant is no laughing matter.

• Won't want to get accessories because those cost money, but if you insist because you're paying, he'll cave and give it a dapper little suit and glasses. Maybe a top hat. A mini book to read. It'll be so cute.

• Gives it a bear pun or a book reference that no one gets for a name.

• Is very tired at the end of the day from being dragged around the mall by a bunch of tweens, but he gets home and still thinks it was a good day. Probably falls asleep with the bear. Though that will sadly be the only time, he keeps it on a night stand or bookshelf so it won't fall off and roll under the bed. He'd have a heartattack if he lost it.

Reese

• He never went to build a bear as a kid so this is gonna be so great for him.

• Picks out a very soft, cute bear

• Maybe like, the patchwork one with the sewed on heart? Idk why, if just seems right.

• He feels a little out of place, he's not used to cute things. He just sorta picks whatever he vibes with, and it comes out pretty cute and simple.

• He holds it very gently, like it could tear or fall apart at any second.

• Might buy a black or white shirt he can paint later, or a sweater so it doesn't get cold 🥺

• Paint brush accessory

• Blueberry scentiment, doesn't need any sound effects (unless there's a construction noises one LMAO)

• Doing the heart ritual heals his inner child

• Understuffs his bear just a little bit so it's softer

• Names it something absolutely BADASS "Nightmare" "Knight of Dreams" something awesome and cool idfk he's the creative one not me

• Has so much fun, might get sentimental about it. You can pry that bear from his cold dead hands.

Wayne

• . . . Why?

• A goop monster walks into a kids store. Screaming and crying insues. And then you're alone in the store.

• The employees might even be out of there, they don't get paid even for this.

• He's just happy to be with you, does not give 2 shits about the teddy bear at first. He adores seeing you having fun, is happier that you're not doing something dangerous.

• DO NOT let him touch the damn bear until it has some washable clothes on!! He can POINT at what he wants!! >:(

• Gets a simple bear, either a very old fashion basic one or just gets the same as you.

• Snazzy little jacket to parallel his. He's fine with you picking out the accessories for him though.

• You make him do the heart ritual even with no employees around to force you to

• Which ends up getting pus and blood in the bear. . . Gross!

• Stuff his bear full of scentiments. No, the scent doesn't matter just- just put them all in. Yeah, it's just to rival the smell of rotting flesh.

• Wayne gives it a very specific name, one you get the feeling comes from someone he knew long ago...

• Since the employees left, please just. Leave some money on the counter. It's okay if you don't pay for the 15 scentiments stuffed inside Wayne's bear. Yeah, no, it's really fine, trust me.

• Wayne will cherish this bear forever, and is extremely careful with it, even though it inevitably gets dirty a few days later anyways.

#i didn't mention that Reese would be really sad if he went half monsterfied and scared the kids away bc it hurt me too much #also originally wayne and you broke in at night but the idea of everyone seeing a corpse man and just saying 'oh hell no' was too funny #hope this wasnt too silly or anything #i was too lazy to change the bullet points so.. hopefully that doesn't fuck anything up #scarlet hollow #stella richmond #avery belle #kaneeka forsyth #oscar gutierrez #reese kelly #sam wayne #x reader

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forensicated · 2 months

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Smiffina Episodes: Gun Runner Part 5 - Fire Fight (5/5)

Smithy finds himself being followed by a van with Tommy Rose inside. It speeds up, making him have to run to avoid being hit. He's unable to get away at a dead end and Tommy forces him inside at gunpoint to speak to Bob Gatting. Y'know, he'd have gone if Tommy had gotten out and spoke to him nicely too given he knows that the SE1 crew are stumping up the cash? Less fun though I guess (!)

Neil sums up what has happened so far for us uniform and CID in a briefing. Gatting and Cutler are planning to import high powered pistols and machine guns into Canley. The deal is going to go down sometime during the day and hopefully it means Smithy will be returning soon but it's up in the air until they know for certain.

(It's been a real Ultimate Force reunion lately on The Bill - we have Christopher Fox (Louie/Clive 😂) and Sam Callis (Patrick) as it is, but in Witness we got Danny Sapani (Ricky) and in Gun Runner we've had Louis Decosta Johnson (Dave) and now Miles Anderson (Dempsey) )

Wallace is speaking to his solicitor who is a known pain in the arse. The remand center is full so it's likely he's going to be given bail.

Smithy is delivered to the workshop. Gatting asks where Cutler is and Smithy tells him he has no idea. Gatting blames Smithy for George "Jay" Jacobs being held for being an accessory in Sean Seatton's murder after he'd planted the gun in Wallace's car (unknown to Gatting, Wallace and Cutler) so the police could get it back via legitimate means. Smithy says he was all set to dump it in the river but Kieran got caught with it and that it was just bad luck he got pulled over. "No, you screwed up!" Gatting shouts. "You're finished, I'm taking over this deal!" Wallace turns up having gotten bail. Gatting demands an explanation as he reckons someone tipped the police off. Wallace says it wasn't him and Smithy points out he never knew he existed. Wallace shouts Smithy put the gun in the glovebox and set him up. Smithy retaliates that Wallace has been shouting off about Jacobs and the gun to the wrong people and one of them must have informed on him. Rose remembers the conversation the day before when he returned the gun where Wallace got cocky about the gun being fired and Jay 'getting double tapped'. To save his life, cover and the case Smithy has to maintain it and shouts that Kieran does nothing but swagger around like the big I am and he's fed up of covering up for him. He claims Wallace is a liability and can't be part of the job if Gatting wants it to go smoothly.

Gatting agrees and has Rose march Wallace outside for a beating. Smithy feels bad and says he'll do it. He takes him outside, feigns Wallace kicking him and mutters to him to run. Kieran tries but he doesn't get away. He gets a beating as a horrified Smithy, Max and Terry are forced to watch. Smithy tries to stop it by telling Gatting that Kieran is Cutler's nephew. Gatting shrugs. "It's business not family." he replies, considering the matter wiped from the slate now and everyone even. He tells Smithy to arrange a meeting with Cutler to go over the deal. "That's a warning, son." he tells Wallace. "You cross me again and you're dead." He then turns to Smithy. "Now it's your turn in the ring." Smithy tenses but stands his ground. "Only joking!" he laughs, patting his shoulder. Phew! Max worries Smithy isn't ruthless and hopes he doesn't let what happened to Wallace get to him. As they go to drive off, Kieran shouts that Cutler won't stand for it and that Smithy knows it wasn't him. Smithy dispatches him quickly and tells him to go before they start round two.

Max tells Stevie that Smithy won't make their meeting at the house because he has to meet up with Cutler. He tells her to go to the pub meeting instead and to brief Smithy to smooth things over between Gatting and Cutler. Gina is worried that Smithy has been hurt after the mornings antics but Max reassures her he was only manhandled and that it's Wallace who took a beating. Neil reminds him Smithy's safety comes first and that if there's even the slightest hint of things going wrong he's to be pulled out immediately. Gina is clearly NOT happy about him remaining in as things stand.

Stevie speaks to Smithy before Cutler appears, reminding him that Cutler and Gatting need to be on good terms for the deal to happen. Cutler orders her to leave and she moves to the bar. Cutler orders Smithy outside, growling at him about Wallace having bruised ribs, broken fingers and cuts and bruises all over - his mum/Cutler's sister has been giving him earache about it. He blames Smithy for shafting Wallace and Smithy manages to brush it aside by telling him he has a bigger problem with Gatting threatening to take over the deal. After the beating Gatting considers it square so all he has to do is shake on it. Cutler would rather see the deal go tits up. Smithy advises him to paper over it until the jobs done and then have it out. Cutler agrees to but he won't let him think he can get away with it. Smithy updates Stevie and tells her that he's worried it's going to get nasty. Stevie looks over and sees Gatting look in their direction so she kisses Smithy. She sees Gatting walk off and continues the kiss for a while. Smithy asks her what was that and she says it was for cover and making it believable. "Wasn't that what you were doing...?" "... Yeah. Just putting on a show." They hold eye contact for a few seconds before Smithy clears his throat. "Got to go..."

Interpol advise Demitri is really called Osip Kolchek and he has form for human trafficking, drugs and prostitution. He's also suspected of murdering a man he double crossed on a huge drugs deal and Neil is worried he's about to do the same to Cutler.

Smithy tries to broker peace between Gatting and Cutler. Cutler tells Gatting he had no right to beat Wallace up. Smithy points out Gatting is just as much to blame because Rose tried to dump a murder weapon on them without a warning. Gatting admits he should have been told up front and SE1 should have gotten rid of the gun themselves. Gatting irons out the deal finances. Finally they shake hands. Cutler tells them that Demitri has shown him a photograph of the guns, Gatting scoffs and says he'll bring a picture of the cash then. Cutler insists it's all sorted and will happen that afternoon - as long as Gatting brings the payment. Gatting is wary of going to meet him with the cash as he doesn't trust him but Cutler claims it will all go well, Smithy's coming with him to check over the merchandise before they hand the cash over so there is their 'insurance' (yeah. cos they won't be armed outside of that will they (!!). Gatting agrees and snarkily reminds them both to check their brake lights so noone else gets pulled over by the police.

Stevie is flustered after letting herself into Smithy's to find him wearing a vest and unbuttoned jeans after freshening up to wake himself up. "Do you like how it looks?" he asks, fastening his jeans. Stevie almost blushes and watches him. Smithy realises and smirks. "The house!" They flirt in between Smithy unburdening about having had another gun pointed in his face that morning and how he had to drop Wallace in it to save himself and the case. Stevie reassures him he's bound to feel bad because he's a good man and he's on his own in the middle of bad on bad and that he's over identifying and looking for a friend and it's all normal. He tells her that Wallace reminds him a bit of him at that age and that he could have gone the same way if he hadn't joined the army. Stevie reminds him Laurence can feel guilty but Smithy himself has done nothing wrong. She then starts to massage Smithy's shoulders and he gets very confused, leading her upstairs [Heaton, Millie and Banksy's reactions as they watch are hilarious! "That's the bedroom isn't it?" "He's probably debriefing her, sir." Millie: *SNORT*] out the way of the CCTV where he asks her what's going on. Stevie tries to explain it as TLC for Laurence. "You're messing with my head." "Am I...?" she smiles. "Sorry...." Cutler arrives before they can kiss again. As he goes to leave she asks if there's anything else he needs. Smithy smirks and nods at his washing. "You couldn't er.... I haven't had a chance." Stevie rolls her eyes playfully. "Sorry Smithy, I'm just not that sort of girl." "Ah well, was worth a try." "Cheek." She smirks as she watches him go.

Max updates Neil that Smithy has left with Cutler and he in turn updates Gina that he's going to view the weapons. She tells him she'll get uniform ready and meet him in the yard but Neil tells her to keep the troops at the station as it will be 'simpler' and therefore safer.

As Stevie leaves Smithy's with his washing, Wallace appears and threatens her, demanding to know where Smithy is. She tells him that he's gone out and she doesn't know where. He tells her he's crippled because of Smithy and drags her round the side. Banksy orders a uniform unit to do a drive past. Wallace threatens he's going to kill Smithy when he sees him. She tells him Smithy had no chance and that he covered to save both their lives and that he's told Cutler to take him back. He asks her to swear that Smithy put a good word for him with Cutler. She tells him Smithy will get him back in and back on track. Wallace believes her, saying that he knows they were good friends before it and that's why he couldn't understand it. She tells him to go home and stay there and he'll get Smithy to call him. He looks thoughtful then leaves. Banksy cancels the drive past on seeing Stevie appear from the side of the house once Wallace had gone.

Smithy drives him and Cutler to a warehouse. Max and Neil are hiding in a nearby building. Rose and Gatting arrive and Demitri invites them all inside with Gatting ordering Rose to keep an eye out outside. Inside the warehouse Demitri shows them a Mach10, telling them there are no serial numbers, they are brand new and entirely untraceable. Smithy checks it over and tells both Gatting and Cutler that it appears exactly as described. Demitri offers him some bullets and he loads it, aiming it at a target on the far wall. Smithy fires it three times and destroys the target. Gatting gets cocky and offers £1200 instead of £1500. Smithy asks Gatting what he thinks he's doing and Cutler tells Demitri not to listen as Gatting is just joking and they will pay £1500. Demitri doesn't look overly impressed, asking to be shown the money and Gatting pulls out £1500. "What is this?!" Demitri glares. Cutler looks confused. "You agreed to bring the whole payment." Demitri loads the Mach10 again and points it at them as Smithy pleads with him to calm down and they'll get it sorted. He insists Gatting is only joking and that he has the deal as agreed. "I was just joking." Gatting shrugs, laughing. Smithy smooths it over and says they'll take that Mach10 and give him the cash there and then for that one. Gatting throws the money at Demitri's feet and Demitri throws the gun to Smithy. "We'll do the trade tonight. And this time, bring all the money..." Demitri warns.

Gatting and Cutler turn up at Smithy's unannounced. Cutler tells him that they're on and there'll be a blue box van at limeharbour dock at 6pm. Demitri will text him at 5.50pm, he's to phone Cutler when he gets the text and then go to the warehouse to meet Demitri and examine the goods. They'll be at the pub with the money. If he's happy, he's to call and they'll arrive with the payment. Stevie is also at the house and Gatting and Cutler growl at her to go make them some tea. When she does, Cutler tells Smithy to go to the workshop and get himself a gun as he'll need to be armed if he's going to be dealing with Demitri. He agrees and says he'll drop Stevie off on the way but Gatting insists that no, she's making them a cup of tea and they're going to stay to enjoy it and that Tommy will drop her off later.

As he leaves, Gatting tells Cutler they'll take Stevie with them to the pub as insurance. He doesn't trust him since Wallace got nicked. Stevie tries to refuse but Gatting makes it clear there was no offer. She's going. Thankfully Stevie is an experienced former SO10 undercover officer and Neil trusts her to do the best she can with the circumstances and calls a station briefing, telling them what has been agreed and that CO19 will be deployed at the warehouse. Once Smithy confirms the guns are there, CO19 will move in and make arrests with uniform. They will then move to the pub where Smithy will ring Cutler. As they leave the pub, CO19 will make the arrests with support from Sun Hill. Arun is placed to keep an eye on Stevie. They have half an hour until things should start to kick off.

Neil and Max see Demitri arrive. Demitri texts Smithy and Smithy gets a gun out and shows it to the CCTV in the workshop and tells them that Demitri has made contact. In doing so he has to move the Mach10 be on top of the safe whilst he gets it out. Unfortunately Wallace arrives and wants to have it out with Smithy. He claims Stevie lied to him about Smithy speaking to Cutler. Instead of going home like Stevie said, Kieran went to Cutler's where he was told to get lost. He says Smithy lies to everyone and is probably a grass. He rants about how he's not stupid and won't be pushed around and grabs the Mach10 from the top of the safe, pointing it at Smithy.

Terry and Heaton watch, urging Smithy to talk him down. Wallace rants about how it's Smithy's fault and how he stood there and watched whilst he was beaten. Heaton tells Neil what's happening. Max suggests they go in as Demitri is getting jumpy. Neil says the guns might not be there, he could be planning to double cross him or the guns might be at a different location so they have to wait.

Smithy tells Wallace that Cutler told him that he had to break his brake light, plant the gun and let him get caught, probably as he had a grudge against Jay. He tells him Cutler had threatened him with the same beating if he didn't and reminds him he'd tried to let him get away. "Cutler's pure evil, you know that!" He tries to get Wallace to give him the gun but Kieran now wants to kill Cutler. "He'll be at the Boat Arms where he always is, sipping his whiskey, laughing his bald head off! Well he won't be laughing much longer!" He points the gun at Smithy and orders him to open the door. With no choice, Smithy has to do so and Wallace leaves the warehouse to find his uncle. Smithy shouts to the CCTV that he needs an armed support and ambulance to meet him at The Boat Arms before Wallace walks into a packed pub with a machine gun. Terry tries to stop him but Smithy jumps into the car and he speeds off after Wallace.

Demitri is not happy at waiting and is getting jumpy. Neil tells Max that CO19 are needed at the pub as Wallace has gone after Cutler with a Mach10. Neil has no choice, he has to prioritise actual threat to life. He tells Max he should have had another unit standing by but Max assures him this couldn't have been predicted. He tells Neil that they'd still take 20 minutes to get to Smithy even with the blues and twos on and that there'll be an ARV on the way already. He insists they have to take down Demitri and cut the guns off at the source or lose everything. Neil tells CO19 to go in when ready. They take down Demitri's men but the man himself makes a run for it. Max leaps on him as he draws his gun and manages to arrest him. They check the back of the van and find the guns are all there! Max has a moment, remembering his colleague who CO19 lost to a Mach10, telling Neil he should have been there to see it.

There's a bit here that amuses me silly amounts when it really isn't that funny. Max realises the boxes in the back of the van are nailed shut so needs something to pry them open. He doesn't even finish his sentence before Leon The Mind Reader appears and hands him a hammer to pull the lid off with. It's not in the slightest bit funny, nor is it written as though it is but it just happens like Leon carries it round with him just incase someone might need it and leaps to it!

At the pub Cutler claims Smithy should have been in touch by now and he's also getting jumpy. Gatting tells him to stop worrying because it's getting on his nerves. Rose asks if the sirens he can hear are police but Stevie claims it's just an ambulance.

Smithy speeds alongside Wallace's car, trying to box him in. He manages to get in front but Wallace pulls the gun on him again and tells him to get in the car. Smithy tries to reason that he can't use the gun in a packed pub because it'd be carnage. Wallace doesn't care - as long as Cutler is dead. Smithy tries to encourage him to sort it out one to one not with the gun. Kieran points it at him again and tells him to back off. Smithy pulls the gun out of his belt. "I am an armed police officer. Put the gun down. Put the gun down, now!" Wallace realises it was Smithy all along and he lifts the gun. Smithy shouts at him not to do it and as he says he will, Smithy has to shoot him to protect his own life - with milliseconds to spare as Wallace ends up firing into the air after the first shot.

Armed police swarm and Smithy is ordered to step away from the body. Gina shouts that he's one of them and not to shoot. She gets him away then informs Neil. Smithy is clearly massively affected by what he's had to do and Gina shouts at him at one point because he's not listening to her but staring at Kieran's body. She's also affected and terrified at what she saw almost happen to him.

Smithy makes the call to Cutler to tell him that the guns are at the warehouse and that everything is fine. They leave the pub and head towards the car when CO19 and Sun Hill officers - including Smithy - approach to arrest them. Gina tells Smithy that Wallace is dead. "Great, I warned Wallace he could end up dead in the gutter. It's my job to keep guns off the street and me who shoots him dead." Stevie reassures him it wasn't his fault. Gina tells him she'll need a statement from him, finishing it with "And you look a complete shambles. The quicker I get you back into uniform the better!"

Heaton congratulates Smithy on a successful result with their targets arrested and the guns seized. Neil tells him the DPS want to interview him but not to worry, he had no choice and did the right thing. Max asks him why he went after Wallace and Smithy points out he had a machine gun and was threatening to use it. He tells Max he'd followed his rule - whatever you think you need to do, be ruthless and do it. Max tells him he respects that and that he too had tough calls to make but his safety was number one. He admits he didn't think Smithy could hack it at first but he has no doubts about him now. "Good working with you, Smithy." he tells him, shaking his hand. He tells him he's earnt a break but Smithy says there's no chance of that as the DPS and IPCC will be crawling over him for weeks and then the coroners court. Max offers to back him up and sit with him throughout it if he needs someone. Smithy thanks him and leaves CID only to bump into Stevie.

"Ah Laurence..." she teases, asking him how he feels. Smithy admits he's a bit shaky but he feels alright. She tells him she's done his washing and has put it in the Sergeant's office but found a pair of white y fronts in her things. "Well... we've all got a comfy pair, ain't we." he smirks. He asks if they can 'draw a line under them' and she agrees before kissing him, telling him she was just saying goodbye to Laurence 'before boring old Dale comes back on duty'. They exchange smiles and seperate, Stevie going back to CID and Smithy heading towards his office.

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allezelizabeth · 1 year

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#SanJoseSharks #SAPCenter #SAPCenterApprovedBags

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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years

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Horror Villains x Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Reader getting slipped a love potion so whoever they see first, they fall madly in absolute and total love and adoration of. They first see Slasher. Notes: Yep, I've been watching scenes of Strange Magic. This is because of that. I definitely recommend listening to a version of 'I Cant Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)' while reading XD I'm listening to the Jessica Mauboy cover! ^^

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Warnings: Definitely non con elements (Not sexual though) Characters Included: Billy Loomis, Bubba Sawyer, (Mayor) Buckman, Carrie White, Chucky / Charles Lee Ray, Chop Top Sawyer, Drayton Sawyer, Freddy Krueger, Jennifer Check, (Sheriff), Hoyt, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Patrick Bateman, Pennywise (OG), Stu Macher and Thomas Hewitt.

Billy Loomis:

🎶'I can't help myself'🎶

What.

What kinda - bullshit- leave me the fuck alone-

Honestly he's trying to get the hell away from you (As you tail him) while Stu's at the side texting you where they're gonna be and laughing his bloody ass off when you turn up and Billy suddenly sprints to the bathroom.

Bubba Sawyer:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Oh my gosh, the moment you expression changes from one of fear and disgust, to wide eyed adoration and you start fawning over him?? He has no idea what to d o. Oh, the poor baby XDD

Like, he's just hugging his chainsaw to him as you get up close and touch his shoulders and fix his tie and follow him around and he doesn't r e a l l y mind, cuz its not like you're hurting him, but he is just confused. He's searching for Drayton. Like he'll have any answers, pft.

(Mayor) Buckman:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

-I'm sorry, what now? Beg your pardon, there?

As soon as he recognises that sparkly, attentive look on your eyes he's slightly baffled. I mean, he's used to being loved - his town a d o r e their mayor, - so he isn't quite as lost as Bubba is or even Billy, but- he just had your friends killed? Sweetheart are you in your right mind?

I can see him sorta, awkwardly starting to treat your a little better then your friends. What?? He'd feel just awful being terrible to someone who 'loves', him! I mean you'll still die probably, but you can stand by him until its time. Self absorbed prick

Carrie White:

🎶'In and out my life You come and you go Leaving just your picture behind And I kissed it a thousand times'🎶

(*^^*) I'm sorry (*^^*) What? (*^^*)

Oh my gosh she's a mess. What do you mean by calling her Sugar Pie? Honey bunch? Sweetheart? Cutie!?!?

She's going to run away my guy, she's going to flee. She is not used to this kind of attention (Or any at all, for that matter) and you've flustered her. She doesn't believe you're just making fun of her though (Since you're just so... adoring. She intense. So in love- this cant possibly be an act) though at least, so there's that.

Just calm. down. bitch. You're going to scare her.

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray:

🎶'When you snap your finger or wink your eye I come a-running to you I'm tied to your apron strings And there's nothing that I can do'🎶

Depends- as a human or a Good Guy?

As a human he might be a bit more reserved about the whole thing and a whole lot more confused like... is this a joke? That's a gun in my pocket, not somethin' else if that's what you're thinkin'. You gettin' off on this? What? What's the deal, here?

As a doll though it TOTALLY goes to his head. You just took this bastards ego man and shot it up with some steroids. Like yes- they even want me when I'm plastic. That's fuckin' right.

I would say, 'No way hosay, he's fleeing- he's got a hot ass wife already!! But that has never really stopped our asshole gremlin man so...

Chop Top Sawyer:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

'DRAYYYTONNNN, C'MERE AND MEET MAH HONEY PIE. I'M GETTIN ME HITCHED!'

*Drayton from somewhere else in the part* 'YOU'RE WHAT?!'

Yep. No getting outta this now. You're getting married to him. Enjoy.

Drayton Sawyer:

🎶''Cause sugar pie, honey bunch I'm weaker than a man should be I can't help myself'🎶

*Cough* me *cough*

I mean... *awkward cough cough's*... what?

Oh boy, Drayton is awkward. And PINK. Why're you looking at him like that? Why are you running your fingers through his hair? Why're

Like Bog in Strange Magic I think Drayton would set you aside from the rest of the victims for a while, until whatever's gotten into you has worn off at least. And begrudgingly take care of you- and try to tell you that your feelings are just whatever poison's jacked you up- and to please calm down- you wont want this old boy when your senses are back-

Gosh, he's too cute. I love him a lot.

Freddy Krueger:

🎶'I'm a fool in love, you see Wanna tell you I don't love you Tell you that we're through And I've tried Every time I see your face I get all choked up inside'🎶

Hmmmmm~ What'd you just call him?~

You're playing fire here babes-

And by that I mean he's going to push you until he finds the limit to this potion- for fun. Will you still 'love' him if he leads you off a cliff?~ If he carves his name into your back? If he forces this disgusting sludge down your throat? Will you do aaaanything for him?~ How about killing your friend over there?

Goodluck.

Jennifer Check:

🎶'When I call your name Girl, it starts a flame'🎶

Yeah, I mean of course, who doesn't, bye-

This is not shocking to her XD She's hot and amazing, she knows, alright? Shoo.

Depends- are you a dude? Cis or trans- a dudes a dude. And if you are a dude, she is going to take this admiration and use it to her advantage.

If you are not a guy, though, you'll probably get off easy, with an eyeroll as she stalks off. Maybe even a smirk.

(Sheriff) Hoyt:

🎶'Burning in my heart, tearing it all apart No matter how I try, my love I cannot hide'🎶

... Is this a trick? You fucker-

Paranoid military man kills you immediately because he thinks this is a ploy to survive and hurt his family.

Jason Voorhees:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I'm waiting for you (waiting for you)'🎶

Mmmmmm... 😐 this is new territory... he really doesn't know what to do, here...

Uhh... he may lower his weapon, and tilt his head; Silently asking his mother what to do in this situation as he assesses you- you and your own tilted head, corner of your mouth tilted up as you look up (UP UP UP- ) at the 'love of your life'.

Tea? Do you want some (cold lake water and floor leaf) tea?

Michael Myers:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

Wh... what?

Not gonna lie- you threw him off, for sure when you got down on your knees and just gazed up at him. Even with blood all over him, even holding a shar knife, even with the corpse of your friend a few feet away.

But mostly his feelings are please go away you're freaking me the fuck out.

*The sound of your neck snapping*

Patrick Bateman:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch I'd do anything you ask me to'🎶

How sad for you.

He really doesn't care, man. Just tries to go on with his life, even with you following him around everywhere and trying to get his attention, and being there at his every beck and call- he does enjoy having coffee whenever he wants it, though.

Pennywise (OG):

🎶'I can't help myself I want you and nobody else'🎶

Oh this is HILARIOUS.

Penny figures it out immediately and has a good laugh, as you giggle softly, awkwardly along with him (Which makes him laugh harder-). Ohhhh, you made his century.

You're gonna taste delicious, when he's done with you.

Stu Macher:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Ahhhhh... say what now?

Billy cackles like an evil ferret behind him as you wrap your arms around Stu (The boy himself a slave to his hornier impulses but struggling as Billy's right there and also this is kinda rapey-). Good. he gets a taste of his own medicine now. He looks mortified. GOOD.

Thomas Hewitt:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

Thomas is a mix of Michael and Bubba- he's thinking but why, but also what do i do what do i do what do i do-

Like one one side, he's annoyed. Because you're geting in his way and he needs to help out his mamma and do what Hoyt tells him to, in order to keep his family safe.

But on the other- he's kind of enjoying this kind of attention.

God, someone just take the decision out of his hands.

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puckngrind · 3 years

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What's In a Name: Easter 2023 - J. Toews

Where we left off: Jon and Bekah welcomed Lincoln into the world in 2020. Scarlett was born in February. This is BEFORE the epilogue

Warnings: smut, language, postpartum, babies, Easter

Word Count: 2,500

Series Masterlist ) Puck ‘n Grind’s masterlist

2023.

“Maybe hosting the team less than 2 months after giving birth was a bad iiiiiidddee... uh.” Jon rounds the corner to see Bekah bopping around the kitchen with Lincoln water coloring an Easter bunny at the table and the swishy almost 2 month old, Scarlett, wrapped up on her chest.

"Quit playing games with my heart... with my heart..." Bekah sings out as Jon closes the distance between them with a laugh. He reaches into her hair and pulls out her air pods. "Holy... Tae!" Bekah jumped while clutching the slightly asleep newborn.

"Hi Momma. Whatcha makin' here?" Jon popped a marshmallow from the bowl in front of them into his mouth.

"Peep cars. I don't know Tae. I saw it and thought the kids would like it. I'm nervous about this egg hunt tomorrow and I shouldn't be since this isn't our first rodeo." Jon wraps his wife up from behind and kisses her ear to whisper.

"It maybe wasn't the best idea but you are doing amazing, also what do you need me to do?" Jon kisses the shell of Bekah's ear again and she leans into him with a hum escaping from her lips. "I can take care of that later..." Bekah elbows him and he laughs out. "Seriously Beks, do you want me to take Scar? Assemble these Bunny mobiles? Paint with Linc? Use me. Well, in a way the kids can see." Jon clears his throat.

"Jonathan Bryan, you are pushing the line there." Bekah turns around to give him the mom look he's become accustom to since Lincoln started having an opinion that wasn't the same as hers.

"Okay, okay. I'm just glad you got the all clear at your appointment this week." Jon runs his fingers down Bekah's sides to hold her hips. "Let me take Scar and we will check out Lincoln's creations and let you do this." Jon reaches into the wrap and freeing his daughter. Her arms and legs stretch instinctually and whimpers before landing on her daddy's chest with a coo of approval.

"Are we really calling her Scar?" Bekah questions while taking off the baby wearing wrap. "Like..." Bekah runs her finger over Jon's scar from work. "Scars? Injuries? Not great memories?"

"I mean we don't have to but I don't think if it as being scars Beks. Plus not all my scars are bad memories. Some really good ones too." Jon winks, kisses Scarlett's head and then Bekah's lips. "Get back to creating, we will be water coloring over here." Jon sits next to Lincoln and gets lost in the Easter activities while stealing looks towards the kitchen to watch Bekah float around working on creating the most perfect Easter party.

"Well, it's 10pm and she should sleep for about two hours." Bekah shuts their bedroom door after feeding Scarlett.

"I'll take the 6am feeding since we have morning skate before everyone comes over." Jon comes out of the bathroom in just his boxer briefs. "Does that work, Momma?" Jon pulls Bekah's body flush with his and ghosts her lips.

"Yes." Bekah whispers kissing his lips gently.

"Was that to the feeding or what I was talking about earlier, because I'm fine waiting, you know that. I..."

"Both, Tae. Both. Maybe let me go freshen up, 'kay?" She stands on her toes to kiss his forehead and Jon just shakes his head and starts to argue but let’s her retreat to the bathroom.

Bekah emerges a few moments later to find her husband naked and hard as a rock with his hands behind his head, staring at the doorway to the bath. "Well, Mr. Toews, you are clearly ready." Bekah dims the lights almost to dark and tugs at her husband's shirt covering all her insecurities.

"I have been patiently waiting to let you heal and rest but I've missed this." Jon stands and takes no time to remove his shirt from Bekah's body. Kissing down her jawline then to her collar bone.

"Slow, Tae, take it slow, please." Bekah's breath catches in her throat as Jon pulls her leg up and his length presses into her skin.

"I remember and I got you, Beks." Jon gracefully moves both of their bodies to the bed and hovers over his beautiful wife. Kissing between her breasts she goes to stop him and Jon catches Bekah’s wrists with a single hand but releases them to kiss down her stomach. Bekah flinches and moves her hands again to stop him. "Rebekah, we are good. I love you. All of you. Forever and ever. Doesn't matter what's different from bringing our children into the world. Could you please let me show you. Okay?" Jon looks deep into his wife's eyes and she nods in agreement. Jon continues making his way to her core. His tongue is intentional and gentle. Bekah's body breaks out in goosebumps with the sensation.

"Oh, Tae." Bekah's body jolts in response to his increased movement. Jon continues until Bekah pulls his hair hard making him look up. "I'm fine. Sorry. It feels amazing." Bekah loosens her grip and Jon's fingers slide into her core and curl while he sucks on her clit. It doesn't take much to make her orgasm crash over her. "Fuck. Tae. Here. Please.” Bekah pants out. Jon recognizes her commands and moves up her body. He kisses her lips intently and moves to her neck. Bekah’s body arches into him as Jon’s fingers run down one side of her body.

"Ready Mon Amour?" Jon pushes Bekah's hair off of her face, tucking it behind one ear. Kissing her lips with so much desire she feels her body react again. Without say anything Bekah moves her legs to his ass and presses him towards her. Jon takes her cue to slide deep in and holds. Focusing on kissing Bekah’s ear, neck, shoulder.

"Tae, move. I'm ready." Bekah rolls her hips up and Jon starts a rhythm. Worshiping her body as he thrusts in and out. "Jon, you can let your's go. I feel you holding back." Bekah whispers into his ear as he presses his lips to her shoulder once again. Jon's hand slips down under Bekah's leg and pulls it up further to press his length deep inside and releases. French laced expletives fill her ears. Jon shifts and Bekah's feet press into the back of his legs and a loud moan slips out of her mouth. The orgasm surprised her and she covers her mouth to suppress the involuntary sounds escaping her which makes Jon quake with laughter.

"Babe, did you not realize you were going to so soon?" Jon kisses the sweat off Bekah's hairline and then stares into her eyes.

"It's been awhile, okay?" Bekah covers her eyes from the lust filled stare of her husband. "How are you still hard?" She wiggles from overstimulation with Jon still fully in her.

"It's been awhile, okay?" Jon thrusts into Bekah while her whole body shudders under him. "You are so damn sexy I could do this all night BUT I know we need sleep." Jon moves off of her and pulls Bekah's body into his side. "Wanna shower together then sleep?" The two move off the bed and into the shower. Jon wasn’t done once they got in the shower but curled Bekah into him to sleep before she had to get up for the next feeding. The one thing about post pregnancy Bekah was she was a light sleeper but could fall asleep in moments. Jon loved watching his wife sleep in those few months. Admiring how equally strong and gentle she was. How she just sort of knew how to do things and handled life of a hockey wife with ease.

"Babe, Baby, Beks?" Jon shakes Bekah lightly as the sunrise broke through the window. He was trying not to startle her but it didn't work.

"WHAT? Is the baby okay? Did I forget to feed her?" Bekah shoots up out of bed and Jon picks her up bridal style and lays Bekah back in bed.

"No Sweetheart, I just changed, fed, and put her back to bed. I just need to leave for the rink and Linc will be up here in about 30 minutes." Jon kissed Bekah sweetly.

"Oh, thank you Tae. Zack, Kelly and the kids are coming soon to help hid eggs and distract Lincoln from peeking. We cannot have the team thinking the Cap's toddler has the edge." Bekah laughs.

"Je t'aime Beks."

"I love you too but what's that about?" She looks up puzzled "That you have thought of everything, but you know it isn't necessary and I do always love you." Jon sits at the foot of the bed to put his shoes on. Bekah climbs over and sits on his lap.

"Yeah, a bunch of overly competitive professional athletes won't make a kid's egg hunt some sort of competition. Riiiigggghhhttt?" Bekah cannot control the laughter and Jon tries to deny it. "Will you promise no blood at least?"

"Beks, we will not be overly competitive. Most of the kids are younger than Lincoln. Colton is about the only older kid. We will be civil." Jon kisses his unconvinced wife again and heads to the rink.

The team slowly entered the Toews home and most headed directly to the kitchen for food. Bekah set up stations through the first floor with crafts and activities for the kids before the egg hunt started.

"Ms. Bekah." A low voice came from behind Bekah as she checked the food and chatted with a few of the girls. Bekah turned to see Colton Keith behind her.

"Hey Colt!"

"My dad said you had special directions for me?" He looked back at Duncan who was holding Scarlett and talking to Jon.

Bekah bent down slightly to be eye level with the now 9 year old. "Yes, I was wondering if you wanted to hunt for yours AND Scarlett's eggs? Since she cannot find her own. What do you say?" The boy's eyes light up and nods his head violently then heads back to his dad. Duncan listens intently to his son's mission and mouths a thank you to Bekah from across the room.

"Okay team, egg hunt happening in five minutes in the backyard. We will start on the patio if you would like to head there. Beks has a basket with each kid's name on it sitting on the table out back." Jon claps like he just gave a pep talk and the team moves to the back.

Bekah had sections set up. The toddlers such as Weslie, Trey, Stephanie and Lincoln had one section. All of their dad's behind them. Patrick elbowing Dylan and Jon jokingly.

"This will end badly." Bekah whispers to herself before raising her voice. "Okay, please only find 10 eggs. There are 3 golden eggs, one in each section that not only has candy for the littles but a prize for the family." Bekah pulls the bridge of her nose realizing what she said. "Boys, NO blood! You hear me?" Staring at the grown men standing ready to go. "Seriously! Okay, on your mark, get set... GO!" As Bekah expected, the men instantly turned on their game faces making the spectators laugh.

The egg hunt was adorable. The social media team sent someone to take some pictures and videos to post online. Bekah was sure the team rep was hoping for some interference from the dads. Bekah could tell how respected Jon was by his team in situations like this off the ice. As soon as the kids were done collecting eggs and dumping the candy out the social media person thanked Bekah and left.

"Okay boys..." Bekah raises her voice and feels the heat on her cheeks when every eye looks up and over to her. "I may have hidden tickets for you all to find. Coach gave me permission to give out certificates for you."

"Certificates Beks?" Jon pipes up.

"Yes, get out of a run, late to practice, dinner on the team... those type of rewar..." A barbaric sound cuts her off as the guys stand from their dad roles of going through the eggs. "This one is for everyone, even the non-dads." Bekah looks behind her as the young ones realize they get to play too.

"Us too?" Kirby chimes in.

"Yes, all Hawks players are allowed to do this hunt. There is one for each of you. The reward is hidden inside the egg shaped envelope. You won't find out if you get a bag of candy, beverage, JT Foundation swag, or one of the team rewards until after everyone is done." Bekah's laugh is slightly evil in nature. "Okay, seriously, this will be the first and last year for this if any of you land on the IR. Please don't. And, go!"

The men took off running! Even more so than the kids did. The chirping happened immediately too.

"Watch out old man!"

"Kaner is going to end up with foundation gear."

"Is one of the awards the A?"

"Need your glasses?"

"Are you tall enough to get that egg in the tree eh?"

Bekah was thankful that the pushing and shoving was held to a minimum and laughter filled their backyard. The team had gone through so much in the last few seasons, even with a cup win, that seeing them laughing and acting like young boys was exactly the reaction Bekah was looking for when she bounced this idea off Brynn a few weeks ago.

The chirping continued when the boys opened their envelops. Cheers and jeers with each opening. Jon wrapped his arms around his wife taking in his team. Everyone thanked the Toews as they headed out the door.

"Tae?" Bekah crashed on the couch with Scarlett on her chest and Lincoln sitting on the floor playing with the soft puck that was in one of his eggs. "Jon?" Bekah leans up when Jon didn't answer.

"Here Baby!" Jon appears behind the couch. "I was just putting the cold back in the fridge for you." He leans over and kisses her forehead and pats Scarlett's bum.

"You didn't have to I was going to get up as soon as I feed her." Bekah goes to sit up.

"I know, and you put on the best Easter party for the team ever. It's the least I can do. Plus, the boys cleaned up the backyard so there really isn't much for us to do beyond taking down the tables which I'll do now." Bekah reaches up and pulls on her husband's shirt.

"I don't deserve you, Tae." Bekah leans her head on the back of the couch and stares up at him.

"No, Beks. I don't deserve you." Jon leans down and kisses his wife's lips. "Now, Linc, wanna help me?"

"Yeah. Yeah Dada!" Lincoln popped up and followed his Dad.

Bekah took in this life her and Jon created and smiled.

#What's in a name fic #WIAN epilogue 2 #WIAN Easter 2023 #J. Toews #tazer me 19

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whole-lotta-hoes · 3 years

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Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic

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