braxlrose

[braxlrose]

PLEASE MAKE 2005 BILL HCS 🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️

I based this on the song Ich Bin Nich' Ich from their Schrei album so I hope you enjoy!

content warnings: bill being sad? 😭 lots of angst yk (which if you've been here for a while you'd know I actually LOVE writing angst) idk if this is considered toxic bc the way I've written it, it's very much filled with codependency to like a point where without a person youre suffering so 😬.

summary: bill misses you more than anything right now.

word count: 1.4k

a/n: for this fanfic, you're dating Bill at the time and have been for a little while, and it's set in like 2004/2005. I decided to do this bc Ich Bin Nich' Ich is literally my favorite song from Schrei sooo I can't wait to write this. I'm not sure if anybody else has done this so if they have please tell me! also, lmk if you want to be added to the tag list 💖💖

+ this is from bills perspective

Ich Bin Nich' Ich

meine augen schaun mich müde an und finden keinen trost

I laid down in my bed, my head pounding achingly from tonight's show. Sweat dripped down my forehead and rolled onto my pillow as I turned over. My shallow breathing was catching up to me and my eyes closed ever-so lightly. The cold pillow was a perfect embrace after the show tonight. Well—almost perfect.

My heart twinged with sadness as you came into my head. You always sat in the back of my head like a lingering melody, haunting and sweet. My mind never was able to get fully rid of you, especially now since we're on tour. Your soft and supple hands always seemed to fit perfectly in mine. You're glistening eyes, staring back at me and that enchanting smile that sat flawlessly upon your face. Nothing could ever pull me away from staring at you when we were together. Everything about you always made me feel like we were destined to be brought together, we fit so well with each other and our bodies seemed to always be pulling towards each other like magnets.

My fingernails dug into the bed sheets as I closed my eyes to "watch" you. Who cares if I couldn't see you right now, right? I could always close my eyes and watch the way your perfect body; your perfect everything, moved like the water as you glided through the air, running towards me whenever we would see each other again.

That wouldn't be for months, though..

The coldness of my pillow was fading as my body denied itself rest. I couldn't fall asleep with the sound of your angelic voice, whispering in my head. Which was ironic, because that voice was the same one that always helped me fall asleep on my hardest nights. Nothing right now could ever comfort me.. not unless you showed up.

I groaned in annoyance as a soft knock cracked against my door. Who needs to talk to me right now, it's 11 o' clock at night.

I pulled myself up off of my bed; the bedsheets lightly sticking to my skin from the sweat that once dripped from my body. Walking felt like trying to pull myself through quicksand, all I wanted to do was to see you. You see you—no, feel you jump into my arms and press your beautiful lips up against mine.

God, how amazing that would feel right now.

My body finally brought itself to the door and my hand slowly pulled it open to see a face I had known for quite some time.

"Tom?" I mumbled out, pressed my face into the tinted wall, "What are you doing up here?" I asked, my breath feeling heavy again.

"We're going to a party, are you coming or are you going to coop yourself up in your room again, for the nth time in a row." He spouted at me.

I rolled my eyes before telling him I'd be staying in my room again. He may have seemed a little agitated about that, but from the way he was looking at me, I think he could tell what was wrong. He always knew what was wrong.

"It's always obvious, your eyes tell us everything, Bill.." He would say to me every once in a while when I felt down. I guess I was never the one who was good at hiding my feelings, especially from my brother.

ich kann mich nich' mehr mit ansehen—bin ich los

alles was hier mal war—kann ich nich' mehr in mir finden

I forced myself into the bathroom, my hands gripping onto the sink in front of me as my eyes hesitated to look myself in the face. I'm sure I looked awful. Ever since I met you, I never felt like myself without you. You brought the me out of me. That's what I loved about you so much.

My eye makeup was smeared a bit and some of my mascara had run down my cheeks. I honestly looked like a mess. I blinked in the mirror, watching myself crumble. I needed you so badly. This was one of the hard nights, the hard nights when I really needed you.

The water i splashed upon my face dripped down my neck as my eyes slowly came upwards to look myself in the face.

I could never seem to see myself when you weren't with me, you always made me feel so much better. About everything and anything. I'm still not sure how you did it..

alles weg—wie im wahn, seh ich mich immer mehr verschwinden

My freshly dried face from a cotton towel felt stiff as tears rolled down my cheeks. My eyes stung with a fiery intensity that only someone as gracious and wonderful as you.

My body didn't seem like my own anymore as I crashed down against the soft, recently sweaty bed. Makeup smeared on the pillow as my cheek rested against it, staring over at the dimly lit; slightly sparky (?) lamp next to me. The curtains surrounding my room seemed to understand my awful being right now as I could feel more tears threatening to spill over my waterline, down my face.

I could almost swear this was an out of body experience, maybe I was just tired. Everything around me felt like a dream and I could feel myself slipping away. My body, my dreams, my everything. Nothing felt real anymore. Not when I'm away from you.

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

und das was jetzt noch von mir übrig ist...

My breath was caught in my throat as more memories of you poured into my head.

××× I remember the first time I saw you—

Walking outside the studio while everybody else finished up inside, the cold wind blowing in my face, brushing my hardened bangs to the side. My teeth lightly chattered as you flowed by me. I could swear you were an angel.

From your angelic face, to your scent. You were absolutely perfect and I was infatuated with you. I remember thinking someone like you would never go for someone like me.. right?

How happy I was when I figured out I was wrong.

From the way you held yourself to your laughter to your strength. You were everything I was looking for and more. How could I stumble upon love so quickly? How was I so lucky to have you enthralled with me.

You had never even heard of my band yet, you weren't a crazy, obsessed fan girl. You weren't someone looking for a one night stand or someone who wanted fame by association. You were so beautiful and real and absolutely raw. I still don't understand sometimes why you chose me, but I'm so glad you did.

×××

but here... without you. I feel as though I've lost a part of me. Like I'm not me when I'm not with you. I don't feel whole and I don't think I will until we've been reunited.

××× you're bright red, slushy red tongue seemed to gawk at my blue one as we laughed. I laid my around around you as we walked through the park. I finally had a day off from rehearsing and playing live shows, to hang out with you.

I swear my heart was going to explode out of my chest just from staring down into your beautiful eyes. The way you were staring up at me—i don't think I had ever loved somebody so much. You were my true "everything".

××× your warm breath, slowly yet calmly blowing against my neck as you fell into a deep slumber was probably one of the most relaxing things I could ever dream of. My arms were wrapped around you as the TV quietly played in the background. My body had never felt so amazing. And now with you—you just made everything so much better.

My hands glided into your hair as you snuggled closer into me. With the warm air surrounding us and the soft hum of the noise around us. Everything seemed absolutely perfect.

How could I live without you?

will ich nich' sein

draußen hängt der himmel schief

und an der Wand dein abschiedsbrief

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

I slowly closed my eyes, my body finally relaxing. Ever-so slightly, at least. We'd be together again soon, I'm not sure why tonight was so hard for me, to be without you.. but I cannot wait to see your sparkling beauty staring back at me when we come together again. I don't feel like myself right now, but hopefully with time, you will bring that back to me...

sorry this isn't longer 😭 I hope you guys enjoyed this though! also here are the English translations for the lyrics. They're pretty accurate, but some stuff may be a little off 😞

translations:

one: My eyes show off all of my sadness, and find no comfort here.

two: I can't face myself anymore, I'm not me.

three: Everything that was here, I cannot find myself inside me.

four: Swept away like a dream, I see myself vanish more and more.

five: I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, i'm all alone.

six: And everything that is still left of me.

seven: I don't want to be outside the heavens hang a slope and on the wall your farewell note. I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, I'm alone.

also this isn't proofread, so if there are any mistakes sorry!!

taglist: none yet

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz fanfic #2005 bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz angst #tokio hotel fanfics #tokio hotel angst

[braxlrose]

Just so everybody knows, I'm going through my old asks because I have like 200 of them! I will be trying to get some stuff out this week! Also if I answer your ask and it's from like months and months ago 😭 I'm so sorry, just wanted to put this out here though. 💖💖

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schaefer

[braxlrose]

This is actually hilarious

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz tokio hotel

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x yn #tokio hotel fanfics #i hope this wasnt completely terrible #i havent written in forever 😞

[braxlrose]

Hello everyone! I wanted to come on here and tell everybody I'm back to writing. Sorry I had taken a break but I just had so much going on and really didn't have a lot of time to write and wasn't very motivated. I will continue to write for Tokio Hotel again and you guys can put in your requests! Im glad to be back to writing and have more time for it now! I'll also be posting for multiple different fandoms, which will include.

Tokio Hotel

Bill kaulitz, Tom Kaulitz, Gustav Schafer, Georg Listing.

Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl, Taylor Hawkins.

Nirvana

Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, Kurt Cobain (platonically).

Mayhem (the original band and if anybody wants anything from Lords of Chaos)

Necrobutcher, Hellhammer, Euronymous, Dead, Faust.

YouTubers

Johnnie Guilbert, Jake Webber.

I'll add on any other fandoms with requests as well! I can't wait to get back to writing, so please put in requests.

My master list is also fixed now!

Pelle Lugosi is Dead.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schafer #Mayhem #necrobutcher #dead #pelle ohlin #hellhammer #euronymous #øystein aarseth #music #punk #grunge #rock #metal #true norwegian black metal

[braxlrose]

Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

disgusting. i can see his college education isn’t doing any good.

edit: brett gelman loves to say israel has a right to exist.

#palestine #gaza #free palestine #israel #israeli palestinian conflict #free palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[braxlrose]

why did you delete most of your tokio hotel posts? (not trying to be rude)

I didn't?? I didn't delete any of them? What ones have been deleted because I haven't deleted any of them.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav Schafer #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #tokio hotel tom kaulitz #tokio hotel georg listing #tokio hotel memes

[braxlrose]

are you out of the tokio hotel phase? what made you stop being into them?

Not at all 😭 I thought I explained this better in my other posts but I guess not. I still listen to tokio hotel a lot, I've been listening to them for literal years guys. I'm just too tired to write for them right now and I am more hyper fixated on other things right now. But I haven't stopped liking them. Maybe if I have more time for writing or other things I'll write for them again but for right now I'm not going to be. Like I've stated before, I will still keep my posts up for anybody who wants to read them.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schafer #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #tokio hotel tom kaulitz #tokio hotel georg listing #tokio hotel gustav schafer

[braxlrose]

Is it ok to ask why you won’t write for tokio hotel anymore?

Yeah it's okay to ask, don't worry. I hope people don't think I don't like their music anymore or anything like that, I still like them and their music. And it's also not just because of other fixations on things, I'm really working hard in school right now and I get home pretty late so I don't always have the time to even write anyways. Maybe if I get less stressed out and other stuff I may start writing for them again, but for right now I won't be. I hope this helped!!

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schafer #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #tokio hotel tom kaulitz #tokio hotel georg listing #tokio hotel gustav schafer

[braxlrose]

Hey you guys, I just wanted to post on here so let y'all know. I'm probably going to turn this account into about rock bands from the 70s-90s. I still love tokio hotel and their music so that hasn't changed, but I'm more hyperfixated on these right now. I'll be keeping my posts up for anybody who wants to read them, but I won't be posting as much about them anymore. Also I'll be changing my pfp and name which I'll edit on here later. Thanks so much for all the support that you guys have given me since the beginning of May.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schafer #tokio hotel x reader #fluff #smut #bill kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz imagines #tokio hotel georg #tokio hotel gustav schafer #nirvana #gnr #GnR #david bowie #foo fighters

[braxlrose]

I think you missed the entire point of my post 💀 do you seriously think the reason they're calling her ugly now is because she's in two different OUTFITS? come on, please crawl out from that rock you're under.

The way men are being completely misogynistic and calling Margot Robbie "mid" and "ugly" when she's playing a strong, independent, female lead, but we're completely and totally in love with her when she played a mentally ill woman who was in an extremely abusive relationship totally disgusts me.

anyways, live, laugh, love barbie 💖 💕 💓

#barbie movie

[braxlrose]

YALLL?!!!!??!!

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel bill kaulitz

[braxlrose]

when you're just trying to find good John Winchester smut and this comes up 😭

me trying to figure out why anybody would want to read this:

#supernatural #dean winchester #john winchester #sam winchester #jeffery dean morgan #hashtaging tokio hotel just so some ppl might see this #tokio hotel #gustav schafer #bill kaulitz

[braxlrose]

for the people who tag multiple tokio hotel members on a fanfic just about one of them or tag incorrectly, WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY PLEASE MAKE ME UNDERSTAND BC IM JUST TRYING TO FIND SOME GOOD GUSTAV SMUT AND IM FINDING BILL SMUT PLS STOP 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 y'all are gonna make me have a breakdown

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #tom kaulitz #gustac schafer #devilish tokio hotel #tom kaulitz tokio hotel #bill kaulitz tokio hotel #georg listing tokio hotel #gustav schafer tokio hotel

[braxlrose]

Pls make modern bill x male reader IM BEGGING 🙏🙏

I'm sorry I don't write for male readers 😭

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel smut #bill kaulitz fluff #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #tokio hotel bill kaulitz

[braxlrose]

Idk why this got so many likes 😭😭 looking back at my first writing OMG 😞

Can you please write 2007 Bill Kaulitz smut

dacraphylia but with overstimulation. Bill just eating her out till she is crying. Reader trying to pull him away by his hair but it only makes him go harder. Full blown pussy drunk Bill

(all consensual ofc)

-✨

i love you ✨️ anon. lets get married bc i have no imagination and you are perfect. I love you more than life. you are now my wife/husband bc omg im gonna cum this request is so hot.

warnings: dacryphilia, dom/sub shit?? bill being the pussy drunk whore he is, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), swearing. lemme know if i missed some shit.

----------------------------------------------------------

"B-bill...pl-please..I can't take it anymore.." You whimpered out, fingers tugging on the bed sheets as Bill sucked harshly on your clit, rubbing the inside of you with his fingers.

"Oh come on baby..just a little more..one more I promise.." Bill said one more almost a half an hour ago. Your face was covered in dry tears and saliva that came drooling out of your mouth. You gave up on trying to hide your moans a while ago. You could feel your stomach tightening as more tears poured out of your eyes. Bill continued to eat you out until...a white flash came over you, your back arched and your body went completely numb.

"Ohhh...there you go baby..always being so fucking good for me. my pretty, pretty girl.." He sighed happily and licked up all your cum. Your head felt all fuzzy and your vision was blurry. You could only make out a dark shadow above you. Bill licked the pretty little tears on your face and wiped some sweat off your forehead. You began to close your eyes before Bill lifted your chin up to look at him.

"Baby..we aren't done yet.."

_______________________________________________

"Oh god Bill! Please, 's too much! too much, too much, too much." Your voice got higher and higher, practically squeaking out your words while bill was pounding his dick into your soft little pussy. His eyeliner was smeared and you could barely keep your eyes open to look at his pretty face.

"Mm mm baby, I know you can take it. You always can. Your little pussy was made for my dick and I know how much you love this." You shook your head back and forth, raising your hands up and pulling at his long dark hair, trying to push him back. "Fuck," He threw his head back and ran his hand through your hair, "I love it when you do that." He pounded into you harder and harder until you couldn't remember anything but his name.

But this is bill and he loves you when your all dumb and sweet for him. Once his head is "sober" again, he'll give you massages and put you in a nice bubble bath because you're his little princess. and he loves his little princess.

#bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel bill kaulitz #tokio hotel

[braxlrose]

I need detsl fanfic writers you guys 😞

#detsl #detsl aka le truk #90s #00s #russian #russian rapper #detsl and tom #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic writing #russian 90s rapper #detsl aka le truk 90s