#steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

my love language is making huge comps for the people i love on this site

#yes hi i did take a small break #idk if anyone noticed or cared #but while i was gone i finished the one for kayla's bday #and i'm currently finishing one so ya'll might see that later #steph.text

[taesyeon]

taesyeon: [rest]

#asljdnalsdknajsdnasndkandkansdkan #new me yall #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

since ya'll love the colour comparison posts, here's another one because just- i'm only mad at myself for not realizing how to colour this stage until now, look at the difference between the two fr. so the person this is for (yet another spoiler wbk) better appreciate how good he looks after because what the heck

#i say i'm mad because i already giffed d1 for my series #and i wish i understood how to work around this performance the way i do at present #i guess that's how it is #you get better as you keep doing something #i digress i did a good job #i'm not even done with this set but i can tell you that it is the case #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

when someone asks when you'll post the next set in your series and i'm like? oh? you care? that's actually really nice, thank you 🥺

#it's so rare that anyone gives a shit on this site at present #so knowing people do makes me feel the tiniest bit good ngl #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

ya'll wanted it, you got it (i am lowkey nervous to post this but oh well)

#audio #steph.text #i never thought i'd be doing one of these here #i did it back on twitter when i use to read my poems aloud #'twas a time #also shout out to my phone's voice recorder for providing us with some of the clearest audio ever #goodness #so yeah enjoy i think lol

[cosmicdreamgrl]

random thought: i know it's only been a few days but it feels weird not seeing pat on the dash, be it through posting her wonderful gifs or just making our days with her sweet/thoughtful asks and comments. i hope she's doing okay though, and that one day she'll feel like coming back should she want to <3

#i always said that her presence was integral to this community #and i meant it too #deep sigh #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

see, i have a lot of thoughts on their music, i just don't put them out onto the internet often enough because who focuses on that? let's hyperfixate on the mundane and argue about numbers and streaming instead

#steph.text #sometimes i can't with people online

[cosmicdreamgrl]

being a perfectionist means remaking things sometimes, i'd say i'll keep you guys posted but yeah lol

#the more i looked at these sets the more i winced #i guess that happens when you finally understand the ins and outs of creating something #so i might tweak things a bit #but best believe i'll be reposting these before the week ends #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

before i came on to reblog stuff as usual, i was just going through the things that were made for me this year by both @raplinenthusiasts & @cordiallyfuturedwight, and i can't tell you how grateful i am to have met such lovely souls on this site. i will cherish every single one of these sets forever 💗

#not me being sappy at almost 2:30 am because i'm unable to sleep #see when you're the creator you don't really think about people making anything for you #you're so used to everyone else being a muse #at least in my case that's true #seeing as i'm a professional creative & all #so when the tables turn for a change? #it touches me in an inexplicable manner #i guess as the year draws to a close #i didn't want to miss the opportunity to showcase my gratitude #i love you both dearly in case that wasn't obvious enough <3 #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

when you wake up at slightly past 11 am because you had not one phone call but two lol, shout out to @epiphanytear & @cordiallyfuturedwight for keeping me company last night and being absolute bundles of joy to talk to. i love you both and as such, you guys are going to be stuck with me and my word vomit forever

#between hormones and not wanting to be alone last night? #this really helped #but it was genuinely a lot of fun #both of ya'll are so precious to me 🥰 #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

half past midnight aka it's officially apryl's birthday, however, ya'll will have to wait for me to post the comp. i like how it came out, i can only hope she feels the same :)

#it's been sitting in the drafts for a bit #i'm excited to finally set it free later today #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

believe me when i tell you that i already know i'm going to get asked as to why i'm not screaming from the rooftops regarding the announcement, it's all i wanted, right? sure but all things considered? i'm feeling super apprehensive and i can't seem to shake it, which makes me wonder what the heck is to come in a month

#steph.text #i think i'd rather this than be extremely excited only to be disappointed tbh #i hate the feeling #next to regret? it's my least favourite emotion #so i guess until i actually listen to the album? #my guard will be up

[cosmicdreamgrl]

me: *has a day off*

also me: *starts sourcing stuff for the next comp*

#i guess i've been bitten by the gifmaking bug #yes making them is quite technical (which i'm used to i make music for a living same principle) #but it's also fun? now i get to bring ideas i've had in my head to life #i'm so excited #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

.

#god i loathe people #i understand that everyone is entitled to their.......can i call it grief? tbd #but i implore you please don't make me deal with it #sounds selfish but if i'm being honest who's helping me cope with my grief? #who's going to make me feel better about this situation? #more importantly it's a rhetorical question because no one can #i mean it when i say that i barely have the energy to wake up & function normally every day #to not let the absence weigh me down because life unfortunately has to go on regardless of whether i have my shit together or not #the last thing i want is to have anyone project how they feel onto me #again feelings? valid #behaving in a way that's not justified? i'm not sorry but no #you want to go talk to other fans who are in the same boat? be my guest #but i've said it once i have to say it one final time: you do NOT have to live with the reality of any of this #so stop saying you can relate because you can't and i may be too tired/sad to be annoyed #but my god enough is fucking enough #i'm not entertaining any more questions/discussions unless they come from those i know only care about my well being #and that's honest to god the end of it #ugh #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

what's the realest lyric and why is it 'leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive'

#it seems to be a little too real for me at the moment #probably because of my current situation but still #what a lyric indeed #if you know where this is from? you a real one #steph.text

[cosmicdreamgrl]

imagine someone telling you they like bts, which leads to you asking them what their all time fave song of theirs is and their answer is dynamite. it's so tragic i can only laugh, what the actual fuck

#steph.text #i can't take people like this seriously #maybe just say you're an extremely casual listener instead #because if you actually listened through their discography? #my point has been made