#still isn't but pushing through the pain ahah | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hwaightme · 1 year

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ok sorry to be coming a day late but i was star struck after the concert and i was mingi brainrot all day yesterday it was ridiculous. (legit spent all day watching my concert videos and went on a great quest on all the socials to find more clips of the concerts also my in laws came to visit)

BUT enough about me!

about family for hire! i loved chapter 2 so much!

spoilers under the cut

again i loved yunho's and mc's friendship in it. he's such a great friend and a cutie. he peptalked her to infinity we love to see it.

but in term of cuteness he doesn't come close to the man of the hour the one and only park seonghwa. he was adorableeee like my heart was just aching the whole time (plus i was reading this while standing in line and gosh i was just gushing).

and when yunho said "hot daddy" i felt that.

and seonghwa just babbling about nari!!!! i could see the hearts in his eyes as he browsed throught the numerous pictures on his phone. and when he opened up to mc about their past and the unresolved shit they still had it was so genuine i wanted to hug him so badddd. like sometimes the dads need a hug too :(

and mc!!! what a business woman (maybe im falling for her a lil bit too lolz). i loved how she took advantage of the moment by dropping the plan to seonghwa. and at the same time i feel like between the lines this was just an escape for her. maybe the memory of that night hurts too much and she pushed her pain deep down to forget about it and she wasnt ready to open the wound back up again. so she jumped to known and reassuring territory meaning business, work. idk.

but seonghwa on the other hand i feel like paternity forced him to become somebody that is in touch with his feelings to be able to understand his daughter's. if u want to connect to anybody you have to open up and i feel mc is struggling with that maybe seonghwa can show her that showing vulnerability isn't being weak... quite the opposite. (i struggle with that all the time)

its beautiful cause they have a lot to learn form each other and i cant wait to see what you have in stock for this fic.

but i loved it like everything you dooo~~ you are so talented it's insane like gorllll leave some for the rest of us.

ps: also cant wait to read long exposure!!!

Hiiii omg it is completely fine!!! I am so so so happy that you had such a wonderful time at the concert and literally the day after being dedicated to brainrotting is basically a necessity, let's be real (also btw how are you after that Mingi Instagram video of him dancing to CUFF IT? xD)

Aaaaaaaah this warms my heart so much omg!!! ;~; thank you thank you~~ Really glad that you are enjoying the best friend Yunho energy (and his comments about Seonghwa ahah)!!! MY HEART IS MELTING RIGHT NOW OH MY ;~;

Becoming a father has definitely changed Seonghwa, and as you say, it has actually made him more open to the idea of love (and more open in general); he is very much of the opinion even his dark times should be a learning ground for him to know how to raise Nari well, and give her as safe and as happy home as possible :) (and yes let's give him a big hug ;~;)

Mc definitely has... some things she really needs to work through, but with these kinds of things only time will really tell, and how her venture into what she calls 'business' will turn to influence her and her relationships.

again from the bottom of my heart I thank you so much!!!!!!! <3 wink wink I am actually in the process of writing the next chapter and hopefully it will be up soon (ahah trying my best, thank you for your patience ;~;)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA COMING FROM YOU EXCUSE ME YOU ANGEL!?!?!? YOU TALENTED HOOMAN!?!? LEMME GIVE YOU A HUGE HUG RN THIS IS NOT A REQUEST THIS IS A LOVING THREAT <3<3<3

Much love <3

ps: omgomgomgomgomog thank you ;~;

#hm/family for hire #byuntrash101 #hm/asks #hwaightme #LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!#<3

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fakeloveaskblog · 2 years

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…Remy loving someone isn't supposed to make you sick.

*they give him a dose of his pain meds and purge the adverse effects of the drugs from his system*

It's okay. The offer still stands. It'll always stand: just say the word and you're out.

Kindly, the local demon.

"I know......i know"

They were still laying on the floor. They'd leant their chin against the top of the backpack.

The pain meds kicking in was sudden. In one moment it felt like their joints were trying to claw out of their skin and in the next the pain had dulled, like an old knife.

They let out a gasping breathe. For a normal person the pain would have probably still been horrible but for Remy, especially after these past hellish days, it felt like paradise.

"Thanks- thanks gal" tears of relief pressed on. They quickly wiped them away "Sorry girl. I've been crying like so much it's actually stupid. It's just- just such a relief. It's like I've been pressed down under water unable to breathe for days. I'd gotten so scared the pain would never get better. It was so suffocating" They forced a smile "Ahah dumb bitch problems"

Their eyesight still got blurry when they moved but they didn't whimper as they hid the backpack behind the piles of clothes again. With the help of the cane they even managed to stand up and take the few steps over to the bed before collapsing against the covers. They reached out and buried their head into the soft fur of the snake plushie.

Remy glanced up at you "Thanks really. I dunno I would have like gotten through this if I was like all on my own...."

Again they realized what they'd said a moment after saying it. Getting through what? The pain? Being with Virgil? Why was their instinct to say they were alone when their boyfriend was taking care of them.

"I- I like really wish Virgil could understand. I don't want him to feel the chronic pain I do. Not even for like a moment. But I wish he would understand how much it hurt so he would understand I need my meds. And he would like understand how badly my thoughts can turn on me and that I need the therpy and that the flahbacks hurt me so badly my muscles aches for days afterwards and that the strangling- the- I wish he understood. He wouldn't do any of this if he got how much it actually hurt me right? Obvoiusly he wouldn't! He can't....he's just doing his best for me.....he just doesn't get it"

They hated how no matter what their thoughts kept going back to being about him.

"Sorry I'm such a mess. I- my mood is so shifty. I'm so angry at him one moment and so ready to forgive in the next......he....he hurt me......it still doesn't feel real...i wish it would feel real so i could let myself be furious about it....i wish i wasnt so sick so i could be outraged instead"

They dreaded when the meds would stop working. They tried to push that thought away.

".....thanks....for keeping the offer of helping me leave open"

#the local demon #ask #sanders sides #remy sanders #thanks for the ask <3 #oh bitch i am so tired i have no idea where that one good line about rage came from

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ophir-pacifica · 4 years

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( music goes along with chapter :) )

Talylia's POV

It had been a day like any other, awaking around 10 am, leaving for work etc-I guess you could say I was fine with that seemly incredible schedule, I mean I adore my job, l get to even sleep in practically every day. I mean I've got everything in place, but, ultimately something constantly felt off. Like deep down in fractions of me. I felt so entirely, and utterly empty inside- it's gradually starting to frighten me. Like the fear gutting pain that evolves and surges deep inside my abdomen, and gradually consumes its way up my body- sorta way. But I brush my thoughts away- I look up at the clock on my neatly looking wooden desk- it was nearly 11 pm- and I had an endless supply amount of books I still had to put away- this is going to be a long night- A gentle sigh escapes my throat and I proceed to get up to put the novels away. I gradually pick up the pile, proceeding to go and arrange them in their proper spot. It's was presumably around 11:45 pm when I was eventually finished. I proudly glanced around at the empty-looking library around me. I sigh and run one of my hands through my darkly lengthy blackish hair-

I operated the library for the most part- my best friend and part-time partner Liam- assist the store with me in his extra time- but it's primarily me that works long term and such-putting all the books that the customers have returned and as well help check out shoppers as well. It was alright though- I always cherished the silence. It was seemingly so peaceful to me- and as well I was never a people person. I could chat with customers of course but on awful days- Liam would come in and have to assist me. I have been diagnosed with severe panic attack disorder. I have had it my entire life. But ever since the tragedy that happened to my parents- it got a lot of hell worse- I take medicine regularly but Liam has definitely supported me greatly. He's truly my best friend. We are certainly close but we've never dated- though I will admit- seeing him as he helped me through so many things through the years, we've known each other but- I can't help but wonder what if we were something more-

I should probably get going, I snatch my stuff and head over to the two double clear doors that lead to the outside. I slightly grin realizing that I'll eventually be able to get some rest when I get home.

The drive on the way back to my home wasn't too horrible- a little traffic here and there but mainly a clear night- I usually don't spend so much time at work but I wanted to check some personal things such as my emails and wanted to make sure the library was up to date with the bills and such. I can't fall behind on payments again- Liam had to help me with a few months of payments because the library wasn't doing so well in the past few months- I sure love technology and all but it's killing the library. All I see is people on their phones. I get it but seriously. I mean I love just going out- just imagine getting up and getting ready- then after eating some breakfast, before walking out the door, smelling the beautiful crisp air as you walk out of the house, then walking down the sidewalk a while and then into the local library. The smell of the books filling your lungs. You breathe it all in and smile, then passionately you look for your favorite book. Then walkng over and snuggling up in a chair, reading for hours. Ah- what a perfect day that would be...

I snap out of my thoughts notice I'm pulling into my driveway. Oh yeah- I probably shouldn't keep imagining things while I'm driving. I sigh and turn the car off. I unbuckle my seatbelts while simultaneously grabbing my papers and other work-related things. I make my way to my small buildings and trudge up the stairs to my apartment floor. Sadly I lived on the 4th floor so- climbing up 4 to 5 flights of stairs isn't the greatest because of course- we don't have an elevator. I've asked the landlord many times to reconsider this due to that a lot of people complain about it other than myself. But to no avail, he still won't even consider it.

He says that the costs for an actual elevator are so expensive and he himself is already behind in bills so he usually says of I wanna keep the place I have- I'd keep my mouth shut. I'm looking for possible better apartments as it is but it's hard to find cheap apartments right now- and my budget is already tight as it is from the previous months so I guess I just have to deal with the jackass of a landlord. I trudge up the last flight of stairs and walk down a little way to the last door in the hallway.

Finally my apartment. I struggle a bit fumbling with my stuff- trying to get my keys from my bag.

AHAH

Gotcha.

I pushed the key into the lock and opened the door. I sluggishly swept in- softly shutting the door quietly behind me. I already of had a complaint from the neighbors saying I "shut my door so fucking loudly"- I still don't understand how I am but I can't afford to get kicked out right now so- I have to be more aware I suppose- well that is until I find a new place.

As I walk into the small looking kitchen- I drop off my things and sigh looking over and around my apartment-

The Kitchen-

Glancing in approval- then averting my eyes into the living rooms...

Living Room-

Sighing in happiness- I retreated to the bathroom. Scanning it all up and down.

Bathroom-

After I did my business, I washed my hands under the warming water- after I retreated back and dried my hands. I then walked out and turned down the hallway making my way down to my room.

Hallway- ( cuz why not 😂)

And finally making my way to my bedroom. I lightly open the door and walk in seeing my room gave me such relief. I didn't know how much I just missed my room. I guess part of me wishes to just stay in my room forever but I know that's not how life works. I have to work and I must push through- shaking my intrusive thoughts away. I look around and see my cat Malachi curled up in a ball in the center of my bed. I lightly giggle and go up to him.

Bedroom- ( And Malachi :3 )

I make my way over to him and gently pet his head. He stirs a bit- looking up at me. He purrs and pushes his head slightly inward so that my hand as more access to his neck. I happily then scratch his neck with my fingernails. I smile and then retreat to go close to the door. Malachi perks his head up for a minute before retreating back to his original position. I go and change into my pajamas and hop into the bed next to Malachi. I slightly nudge him to move over and he gets up and moves over a little bit- leaving me a little space. I laugh.

"Malachi, you know I sleep here too right?" I say looking at him now. He meets my gaze and he gives me the "I know but don't care" look. I roll my eyes, then give his head a little peck before laying down.

I plugged my phone into my charger and drifted off to sleep...

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This is the first chapter of my new book Collision! I hope you guys enjoy it!! Leave a comment down below what you guys think?!

-Ophilea💕

LINK TO FULL STORY

https://my.w.tt/DRliUfy8n9

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