Tumgik
#subconsciously there's always this barrier there's always this. yeah. so one of my idk one of the things i struggle with is
noxtivagus · 1 year
Text
i'll just ramble a bit again in tags ><
#🌙.rambles#🌙.vents#YEAH I DON'T THINK I SLEPT VERY WELL 💀#i rlly do hate being negative like this here i'll fix it sometime during the break but i'll cope rq by doing this before i do yeah#i'm v aware of how being negative affects others 😭 but like oh man it rlly isn't good to bottle things up either but#i don't really have anyone that i can vent to? i mean. i don't want to when i know that others have their own struggles too#i'd much rather listen to them. i'm fine on my own i just need to write it i think. so tumblr tags ily i'll fix my spam account soon fr#i write a lot to myself i talk to myself yeah i barely talk to others as much as i talk to myself. dumping someway somehow in#a place that only. those who rlly want to or seek to read this in some way wld know of the things i write. an interesting thought#i guess one way of putting it as well is i'm like the ocean. or the sky; which is. quite like an ocean too. with its depth#i mean i really just want to be authentic n myself but some experiences that hurt me stuck this sort of.. idk smth in me still that#subconsciously there's always this barrier there's always this. yeah. so one of my idk one of the things i struggle with is#do you know the real me? the me that you know that you like /p is it idealized? is it just the things i've done for you or#the image you have of me that you.. yeah? i hate that doubt bcs i do want to believe n when i do i. cry bcs that means a lot to me#I'M RAMBLING. hdfjaslkdfj :c i mean i'm human too n i'm not immune to doubt sob ffxiv has that one quote w minfilia that. rlly gives me hop#i grew up feeling lonely often despite still having friends. acceptance.. i relate to hermes a lot fr :c#i think i'm more honest here on tumblr than directly w others. yeah definitely. i'm more of a listener w others#oh god fr i think i feel especially helpless inside bcs there's sm things that just feel so similar to a certain time in my life i've#buried a bit. i genuinely don't remember the last few months of 2020 n early 2021 well at all i distracted myself from. certain stuff#listening to vg osts is such a comfort rn oh man. living legacy. don't think twice. radical dreamers. kiss me good-bye 🥹#i was gna write smth but i forgot. oh well i shld finish this article critique anyways so i'll work on that now
0 notes
nvrtrust-naims · 3 months
Text
im attacked by visions in the night (my followers not enjoying my posts)
anyways gonna sleep in tmrw n also theres this owl that is on my roof sometimes that makes a deep hoo sound n it scares me in the middle of the night
watched the masquerade hazbin ep n now i kind of ship husk n angel . . . just a lil . . . on a lower key
[thinking abt what to say next for like 2 mins]
i usually write these posts directly as im thinking so its like how my verbal thoughts work
like my string of thought typed out
thats why theres so many breaks n subject changes n stuff n runon sentences
im not sure how i feel abt ppl who dont speak in their heads — like their thoughts are in picture form or in some other way — idk it seems so strange n foreign to me to percieve things outside of language
i kind of get the feeling of not being able to verbalize a feeling tho like not being able to put into words how something felt w/o expressing on my face, w hand gestured, and/or w sounds
usually that happens when im surprised like shock/surprise (and fear ?) are some of the only feelings that fall on the other side of the language barrier to me
w those heavier feelings i just need to put the feeling into my fingertips n run my hands on someone elses chest for me to feel like theyre absorbing the weight of what i mean
but yeah most things i think abt in words
i have a lot of fantasies n daydreams n they always have imaginary sounds n music n language n laughs so i think those are just integral to most thought for me
i think a lottttt
almost constantly
and when im not thinking for a while it gets interrupted by me noticing wow ! the calm !
mostly i dont think i stop thinking, i think my thinking slows down like how we percieve ice as a solid but rlly the h2o particles are just cold and slow compared to liquid water; n the space between the particles grows ever so slightly
i love sleep
i want to sleep
i just took a warm shower n now im under a blanket n im hugging one of my pillows n my cat is napping near me
i feel like sinking into bed
i wannaaaaaaaa
i have stuff to do tho . . .
itll be ok im gonna lay down now w the lights off n some music playing n daydream for a while
if i feel like getting up n doing my stuff after then i will ... but ... if not ?
Tumblr media
ill do it in the morning (i think ive already made my decision subconsciously)
(i think i knew this would happen from the second i stepped in the shower n it was rlly hot n comforting)
0 notes
quinnpriv1 · 8 months
Text
[flrd, riddle/ace] femdom riddle, all 3 but not at the same time, cucking vibes, wannabe infidelity, age difference
“How would you like to come to my house for dinner next Friday?”
Ace about drops the trey he’s holding, complete with Riddle’s tea and biscuits. He beams from ear to ear, putting the things on the table. If he had a tail, it would be wagging.
“Just the two of us?”
“Now, now, I was just about to compliment you for being clever. My husband will be there, of course.”
can we get some threeway m! floyd/f! riddle/m! ace ??? ik riddles prude but like. just imagie Okay. this is for my dick only. like idk maybe florid is an already stabilished couple, with them knowing how to get each and every reaction of each other and knowin what the other likes. then Boom, ace gets a crush on riddle, starts pursuing, and riddles kinda Into It. with some encourage from floyd (cause hes not That jealous) she invites acey over? and they fuck. yay. ace has a bit of floyds help to get the right reactions outta her... listen i just kind of want 2 guys admiring and pampering and telling riddle how pretty she is. its such good food.... srry if the text is long i simply have Many Thoughts
(+OH well im glad to hear you werent upset by it thats a relief,,,, and I See. yeah thats reasonable, hope thing sget less psicy! an i hope you have fun writing the things you wanna :3c
hehe thank you dear!! i always have fun writing things and i love talking to y’all for sure! 🥰
idk why, this prompt was feeling very “age diff” to me so idk flrd is in their 30s and ace is like super freshly 19 hope that’s cool! teeny feel but i love the vibes)
//
Riddle looks severe when she dresses the young man down, sharp from every angle. Her hair is pulled up in a bun with a pin Floyd gave her for their fourth anniversary, the only curls hanging loose the ones she left down herself.
Ace hates her immediately, her bossy tone, her holier-than-thou spiel. He tunes half of the lecture out, focusing on her jewelry and clothing instead. She’s flat chested, but there’s an enormous ring on her finger and it’s distracting.
They keep running into each other. Riddle’s lectures get shorter as Ace becomes more skilled. He’s a newcomer at the café, after all.
The first time Riddle compliments him, Ace is horrified to realize he’s flatter, scratching the back of his neck to cover up the fact that his ears are red.
A few months later, he wakes up from a wet dream in a cold sweat. Pale skin and short limbs had featured. His subconscious had dressed the petite redhead in lacy undergarments when she stepped on him in stilettos but his dick had gotten hard nonetheless.
It’s a mortifying moment, but Ace has never been one to sit around feeling sorry for himself. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and as much as his exes annoyed him, they had both left him with the same note: at least you’re persistent.
Riddle is a married woman. It’s a hurdle he’s never leapt, or even wanted to approach. He’s never liked anybody who wasn’t his own age, and he’s still not sure he likes Riddle so much as wants her to sit on his face, wants to eat her out and see what she looks like unraveled, undone, stripped of all her barriers.
Subtle isn’t exactly his forte. He’s not usually the type for gifts and flowers, but Riddle is the traditional sort. He skives off of his shifts whenever he can, handing responsibilities off to Deuce when it’s slow. Riddle is less-than-impressed with this and tells him so, but he asks enough questions to keep her intrigued, getting to know her better.
Learning that she’s a lawyer is horrifying and sexy as hell. She could probably have him arrested for all this shit, but more and more she seems like she’s not all that bothered, weeks of chocolates and trinkets having made an impression.
“How would you like to come to my house for dinner next Friday?”
Ace about drops the trey he’s holding, complete with Riddle’s tea and biscuits. He beams from ear to ear, putting the things on the table. If he had a tail, it would be wagging.
“Just the two of us?”
“Now, now, I was just about to compliment you for being clever. My husband will be there, of course.”
It’s better than nothing, Ace supposes. He heartily accepts, beyond curious to meet the mystery man. Ace has learned lots of things about Riddle’s job—things she can tell him without breaking confidentiality laws, anyways—coworkers, friends, and interests. She’s been surprisingly reserved about this guy, perhaps for his sake.
Ace hopes he’s boring and lame. Maybe, if he can impress her next weekend, it will be the start of his home-wrecker arc. He’s not proud of wanting that, but hell, nothing about the way he lusts for Riddle is normal.
He begs Deuce for a ride so he doesn’t have to take a bus to the other side of town, hair styled and suit jacket pressed for the occasion. Deuce drops him off with a snort and tells him to call the cops if things get dicey. Ace rolls his eyes; he would do no such thing.
The house is intimidating, but it’s not a gated mansion, as Ace half-feared it would. It’s stately and large but cozy, decorated with roses in all sorts of colors, immaculately well-kept. A man with a lazy smile opens the door, handsome, tan, and tall. “Ace, right?”
“That’s me.”
“I’m Floyd. Charmed.”
They shake hands and Ace struggles not to piss himself—his grip is insane. He follows Floyd through dimly-lit halls until they arrive at the dining hall. Candles are burning and it smells fantastic, spices and wine warming the air.
There are only three place settings. Ace waits for Riddle to take her seat at the head of the table. Floyd sits next to her, smiling as he swirls blood red liquid in his glass. They look like weird vampires like this and Ace shakes that thought in honor of standing his ground.
They both know what he’s here for. Presumably, since Riddle extended an invitation, they want it too, want him to spice up the night, or something.
Damn, Ace thinks. They talked about him. Their relationship is healthy.
It’s fine. He can work with this. So what if Floyd is hot and off-putting? Ace probably has him beaten in the stamina arena. He’s young and horny and eager.
They eat with minimal chatter. The food is so impressive that Ace nearly gluts himself on it, but he remembers his purpose, taking a spare toothbrush when offered.
Ace and Floyd are left alone in a room with a large, circular bed when Riddle excuses herself to change. Ace expects threats and insults, but Floyd’s gaze remains half-lidded. “You’re not scared?”
Lazily, his mismatched eyes drift to the side. Unkempt is a good look on him, casually suave. His expensive watch and shoes add another layer of intrigue, leave Ace with more questions than answers. “Of what?”
“Your wife leaving you.”
Floyd chortles, tilting Ace’s chin back. “You’re cute.”
Ace swats him away with a scowl. “That’s not an answer.”
Floyd glances at the door Riddle exited through, expression sly. “Never. She’s going to eat you alive. You’ll be begging for me to help you in fifteen minutes.”
Ace highly doubts this. Still, the warning gives him pause. He swallows.
Riddle emerges, heels clicking on wood. She’s exactly as fascinating as Ace expected her to be, dressed in pearly white lingerie and garters, her heels at least three inches tall. She commands Ace to kneel and he’s disobedient, but not for long.
She drives a hard pace, has him panting in no time. Her stilettos leave marks on his skin and she doles out discipline, urging Ace to tweak her nipples and rub her through her underwear with disdain.
The whole time, she remains aloof while Ace loses his mind. He tries and tries and tries to stay steady but his knees are weak. A garbled please escapes his lips before he can help it, drooling and gasping for air.
“Take it easy on him,” Floyd purrs, fingers smoothly slipping between her thighs. “He’s just a kid.”
“He’s legal,” Riddle retorts.
“You know what I meant.”
Ace watches, humiliated, as the two of them take their places. Floyd not only keeps up with her but drives a harder pace, dislodging her bra while he firmly gropes her breasts, sinking his teeth into her nipples hard enough to hurt. Riddle’s back arches as Floyd snaps the fabric, grinding against her pussy with the heel of his palm.
Mentally, he takes notes. He watches as Floyd does all of the things Ace dreamt of doing, murmuring absolute filth as he gets her off. He doesn’t touch his own dick at all, a sharp contrast to Ace, who’s flaccid and spent. It’s only once he has his wife face-down and fully nude that he bags it up and fucks her.
“Floyd,” Riddle whines, full up to her lungs. Ace is more than a little impressed—he’s never seen a dick quite like her husbands. Nevertheless, she takes it, him bucking into her like a dog, the mattress shaking as he keeps going. It’s damp and disgusting everywhere by the time Floyd is finished, a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.
Everyone showers. Ace absently toys with his phone, waiting for Deuce to answer him. Floyd plucks it out of his hands. “I’ll drive you home.”
He’s ‘dressed’ in nothing but a thin robe. Ace struggles not to look at his junk and feel inferior again. Still, a ride is a ride, even if it’s from an almost-stranger. Ace came here willing to take a chance.
“She’s always liked brats,” Floyd tells Ace. He whips his head to the side, startled. “Work on your stamina and try again.”
“Speaking from personal experience?” Ace asks, haughty and proud to the end.
Floyd laughs. “You wish, kid.”
Ace frowns, remaining quiet for the rest of the ride. He takes Floyd’s words to heart. Being invited at all had been a triumph.
Now all he has to do is get himself invited again. He would do anything to see the frosty, frigid Riddle like that again, the way she had been with Floyd.
How hard could it be?
0 notes
lizzisgeek · 3 years
Text
so i was rewatching megumi's domain expansion scene a couple of times in a row (because i couldn't get enough :D) and i had 3 thoughts:
megumi says his domain is incomplete. why is it incomplete? because there's no barrier, unlike in gojou’s or mahito’s domains. and why there’s no barrier?... throughout the whole scene, megumi thinks and talks about acting freely. and freedom doesn't imply any boundaries or barriers. so you can say that in a sense he came up with the exact domain he thought about, even if it was a subconscious thought. (idk if it’s too farfetched or not, but considering gege’s love of symbolism it might be not too unlikely)
so apparently megumi can create at least one clone of himself while his domain is active. the question is, when exactly did he create it? i highly doubt it that he managed to create in and hide himself right when the curse sent a bunch of cursed energy flying towards him. so when?... i don't think he created it somewhere mid-fight because it might have been quite distracting and megumi probably wouldn't go for that option. so i think he created his clone and hid his actual self as soon as he expanded his domain. because there's always only one megumi in every shot we see, the second one isn't visible anywhere even in the distance. plus it can be considered as a protection from new injuries (since he already hit his head pretty hard) and a guarantee that he'll survive the fight while his domain is active. and after the domain is dispelled, megumi appears (in fact it seems like he emerges from his shadows) in such a spot that allows him to end the curse instantly with a single blow. this leads me to my 3rd thought
why his domain was dispelled? yeah, there's a curse gathering and releasing a bunch of cursed energy and stuff, but why do we think that would be enough to dispel the domain? after delivering the final blow to the curse megumi says: "they'd [divine dog's claws] have no trouble piercing through you when you're caught off -guard" ("not paying attention" in the manga translation) and why didn't the curse pay attention? because it was happy it managed to dispel megumi's domain. and here's what i'm getting at. it seems to me that the domain was dispelled not by the curse, but by megumi himself, who timed it very well-timed to catch the curse off-guard. and i think it would be very like megumi to use precise calculations and strategy to make the final blow
22 notes · View notes
buscemisworld · 3 years
Text
I've been doing some work trying to unlearn some of the self-imposed boundaries I put on myself (mostly stemming from how I was raised and going even further back to how my mom was raised) like piercings, tattoos, clothes, the way I carry myself, what I do etc. And it's not like I was raised in a strict household like my parents ALWAYS encouraged my interests and I'm grateful for that, but it had to be in a "proper" way like I couldn't deviate too far from the norm. And it's not like I'm gonna flip a switch and be a big titty goth gf, but I do want more tattoos and piercings and to do whatever I want (like going to see shaq DJ at a club even though I hate clubs and don't drink but it's an experience I want) without limiting myself by telling myself "oh but you hate clubs and drinking so you shouldn't go" like no!! I wanna go bc I can overcome those things, I don't have to let them stop me bc it's all in my.head. when I'm able to get out of my head and just have fun, I do so much better like when I was in Miami a few weeks ago, was the only sober one, and had A BLAST.
Idk I think in HS I held onto a lot of that and even into college but through embracing vulnerability and having friends who were their most authentic selves I was able to overcome a lot of it subconsciously, but now I'm making a conscious effort. I think I have to sorta force myself now bc I have depression and for the few years it was untreated, I reverted back to a lot of my old behaviors and was unable to overcome those fake boundaries.
It's funny cuz truly, some of these experiences I want to have are mostly for the meme/story to tell. And that may seem shallow but you can't make those stories without actually experiencing something. Like OF COURSE I want good stories to tell bc that means I've done stuff and lived a full life. I don't want to look back on my life and only think of all the hard work I've done and the few family vacations. NO!!! I want to look back on my 20s and say "yeah I worked full time and was in grad school but I still partied with my friends and traveled and saw shaq DJ and went to football games and made new friends and hobbies and blah blah blah"
Adulthood is fucking hard, especially for a depressed introvert such as myself so yeah I have a lot of barriers to overcome to live the life I want but it's WORTH IT. I don't want my depression, or my chronic pain, or my anxiety, or my concern of what ppl think, or the way I was raised to get in my way. I'm not ignoring any of those things but confronting them so I can live how I fucking want.
2 notes · View notes
hmorris0712 · 5 years
Text
fake you out~ tyler joseph x jenna black
(PREQUEL TO NO NEED TO FEAR)
a/n: HEHEHE SURPRISE GUYS!! betcha didn’t expect a PREQUEL ehehe:)
[also maybe tw?? i personally don’t think so but maybe, idk]
3rd person p.o.v.
“do you wanna know something mollie?”
“what daddy?”
“your mom saved my life.”
~~~
MANY YEARS EARLIER...
some days are worse than others.
much worse.
some days, tyler wishes he hadn’t born. his head is too much for him to handle. his head wants him dead. his head seems to be against him no matter the circumstance. yet he still puts up a fight each day, trying to counter that deadly side of his brain.
but some days he feels like giving up. he just doesn’t want to deal with this anymore, this internal war in his head. he wishes he could just drive away from this everlasting battle within himself for good.
he fears he’ll never be what people see inside of him, that he’ll never be good enough. good enough for his dad, his mom, his brothers, his best friends josh and jenna. he doesn’t want to let anyone down, but he feels like he already has because of his head.
the night is always the worst part of each battle. the night is when the suicidal side of his brain takes over and keeps him awake for hours, causing him to lose sleep. countless nights in a row this has happened, and tyler’s just tired. tired of trying, tired of fighting. but no matter how hard he tries or how long he fights, he’ll always be a prisoner to his sick, twisted mind.
each time the sun rises, it’s a new day, yet still the same game as it always is. he doesn’t want to play this game anymore, he hasn’t for the past two years. he’s been done with it for as long as he can remember playing it. he feels like he’s falling down a never ending abyss. a dark hole in the ground that keeps going and going, deeper and deeper. there is no rock bottom, he’ll just keep falling.
he has thought about ending it all multiple times. death is often a thought running through his head. the question is: has he done more than think about death? has he acted upon his dark thoughts?
and the answer is yes.
tyler can just picture the bleeding lines on the wrists of his poor worn out mind, mirroring what his actual wrists looked like a while ago. tyler shudders as the lump in his throat grows continuously. he crouches on the ground by his bed and feels his knees hit the floor, taking him back to yet another wretched memory. part of his mind tells him to relive these memories, to do those things again- no.
he doesn’t notice the tears running down his face until they fall onto his jeans. he looks down at the spots where they hit the fabric, feeling even more tears spill out of his eyes. he can’t do this anymore.
a choked sob escapes his lips as his shaking hands come up to his face, covering it in an attempt to stifle the sounds coming out of him.
tyler had been so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized his phone on his bed blowing up.
jenna has been texting him like crazy, worried sick about him because he didn’t respond. and he always responds to her. the last text she sent was a message telling tyler that she was on her way to his house. she knows tyler well enough to know when he’s busy or when there’s just something wrong.
minutes pass with tyler still hunched over on his knees, his head almost touching the floor, trying to keep his cries at a low so as to not be heard by his family. it’s not that they don’t know about him, they do, they just think he’s getting better.
but he’s only been getting worse as the days pass. he’s become an expert at throwing on a mask and hiding his true thoughts and feelings.
the door opens quietly and jenna steps into the room, unknown to tyler, still silently falling apart by his bed. jenna’s heart practically breaks at the sight, tears forming in her own eyes. she immediately rushes over to him and places a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.
“tyler?”
tyler flinches and his head snaps up at the sudden contact and sound of her voice. when his honey-brown eyes look up and meet hers, the barrier that’s holding back the flood breaks and he loses it completely. just the sight of her alone is enough to break him down at this moment. he starts full on sobbing into her shoulder, clinging to her like she’s his lifeline. and, in this moment, she kinda is. jenna wraps her arms around his back and cradles the back of his head in her hand, subconsciously running her fingers through his hair a couple times.
they stay in this position for minutes, every once and a while a few “it’s alright” or “it’s okay” phrases from jenna. when tyler’s calmed down enough and gotten his breathing back to a normal level, jenna slowly pulls back and places both her hands on his shoulders after quickly swiping her thumbs across his cheeks to dry the tear stains.
they look at each other for a few seconds, saying nothing, yet everything at the same time. “are you okay?” jenna slowly asks. tyler swallows the lump in his throat, which has only gotten worse, and takes in a shaky breath. “no.” he manages to get out. “i’m-i’m not okay.” he answers, voice a little hoarse from crying.
“that’s okay, you know. it’s okay to not be okay. it doesn’t make you any worse of a person.” jenna adds sincerely. she shifts and leans her back up against the side of his bed. tyler follows and sits next to her, leaning his head on her shoulder as she pulls him close.
“my brain wants me dead jenna.” tyler says after a few seconds of silence. jenna rubs his shoulder a few times. “i know.” she says plainly. “i know the feeling.” tyler lifts his head up slowly and looks at her with one eyebrow raised. “y-you do?” she nods. “i used to be in the exact mental spot you’re at right now tyler. there was no light at the end of the tunnel as far as i could see. all i wanted was to be free from myself, so i tried anything i could just to feel that freedom.” tyler feels anger ignite in his chest. why her? of all people, why jenna? she deserves it least of anyone.
“how...how did you do it? make it though the storm, i mean.” he asks quietly. she smiles. “well, i taught myself to look at the bright side of every situation or bump in the road, and soon enough, that’s all i could see.“
tyler’s jaw stiffens. “i just feel like giving up.” he says, looking up at her, voice faltering once or twice. jenna’s face falls immediately. “hey, i know you do, but don’t. please, please don’t tyler. you can make it through this, i know you can.” she pleads desperately. tyler’s eyes cloud once more and he quickly blinks the tears away before they can fall.
“stay alive for me tyler. please. i don’t want to lose you.” she adds shortly.
he looks at her and inhales shakily before nodding. “okay.” he says quietly. jenna’s eyebrows knit with concern. “promise?” “promise.” jenna offers a sad smile before pulling him back in for another hug.
“i’m sorry you had to find out like this.” he says with a small, tired voice.
jenna frowns and sets both her hands on his shoulders. “tyler, if i could choose how i wanted to find this out, i wouldn’t choose any other scenario. i’d rather it be this way over any other.” she moves her hand up to his hair and ruffles it a little. a smile graces his lips for a second, earning an even bigger smile from jenna in return.
tyler watches jenna’s eyes for maybe a minute, finding comfort and warmth in them despite their icey-blue tint. after a while, he lowers his head onto her shoulder again. not long after he feels one of her hands start running through the back of his hair. “hey tyler?” he hears her ask. he hums in response. “how long have you, y’know...been like this? i-if you don’t mind me asking, of course.” she asks, making sure he’s okay with the question.
“about two years.” jenna’s fingers stop their track through his hair. “wait, you mean you’ve been like this the entire time i’ve known you?” she exclaims. “i-i’ve been meaning to tell you, i really have, i’ve just...well-” tyler stops briefly and sighs before continuing again. “-it’s just not that easy. i-i’m sure you know what i’m talking about.” tyler pulls his knees to his chest and folds his arms over them, resting his chin on his arms.
jenna gives a small smile. “i do.” a few moments pass in silence between the two before tyler breaks it once again. “i was just so afraid of what you’d have to say once i told you. i’m always scared. once you tell someone something, you’re quiet as you await their response. silence gives people the space to react however they will. and i never know what they’re gonna say. and that feeling is extremely suffocating.”
jenna looks at him as he explains. “it’s okay tyler. and i’m not upset you didn’t tell me, i’m just kind of shocked that even i couldn’t tell you were dealing with this all these years.” tyler shrugs. “yeah, well, i’ve learned how to mask my emotions really well. which isn’t a good thing, but it’s all i know how to do. i just keep falling and breaking down behind fake smiles. pretending i’m fine when i’m not. it’s exhausting.” tyler twists a little strand of his hair in between his finger and thumb.
“i know it is. it’s such an unhealthy habit tyler. you need to try to break it, or else it’ll take a toll on your soul for the worse.” “i know. i try so hard jenna, i really do, i just can’t.” tyler says, burying his face into his hands. “i can help you tyler.” jenna says as she takes his hand in hers. tyler gives a small, bashful smile.
they sit together for a few minutes, just enjoying the other’s company. “thank you.” tyler says with his head on jenna’s shoulder. she smiles and plays with his hair a little bit. “anytime. i’ll always be there for you if you need me.” she reassures. tyler glances at her from where he’s resting and feels his heart flutter at her beauty. although he’s never wanted to acknowledge them, he definitely has some pretty strong feelings towards this girl. he’s just scared of falling too deep and then getting abandoned, left to fend for himself in the wild waves of the storm called life.
“i don’t deserve you.” tyler blurts out randomly. jenna looks at him, her eyebrows slightly raised. “what do you mean?” “you’re here right now. i didn’t even tell you to come...why did you?” he asks, looking up at her with his naturally adorable brown eyes.
“well you weren’t answering your phone, and i knew it wasn’t because you were busy, so i panicked and got in my car to come over. looking back at that now i probably overreacted, i was just so worried about you.” she explains with a shy smile, pushing some of her hair behind her ear.
tyler’s mind comes to a hault at her words. he looks at her, almost in awe. “you were...you were worried about me?” he stammers out in disbelief. jenna laughs. “of course i was. i worry about you probably more that i should actually.” she says, quietly mumbling the last sentence. “what?” “nothing.” she says quickly with a smile. tyler smiles back, although still a little confused.
“i don’t know what i’d do without you jenna.” he says, playing with his fingers. jenna grabs his hand and intertwines her fingers with his. he looks up at her like a puppy and rests his head back on her shoulder with a giddy smile.
“well, my life would definitely be a whole lot different without you, tyler.” jenna says as she looks at his fingers attached to hers. “jenna?” tyler asks quietly. “yeah?” “what if...what if i were to tell you that...you’ve been the one thing keeping me alive all this time?”
jenna looks at him as a pang of sadness hit her. “are you serious?” she asks, her eyebrows pinched together, showing that sadness. tyler nods. “you tell me to stay alive for you, but i’ve been staying alive because of you.” tyler glances up at her briefly before looking back up to his ceiling, blinking tears back.
“i-i keep thinking, what if you never moved to my school? what if the teacher didn’t sit you next to me, what if i never met you at all?” he says, fighting to keep his voice steady. jenna’s eyes fill with tears. “tyler, don’t.” she grabs his hand. “don’t do that to yourself. i’m right here, okay? all that did happen, and that was in the past. what we have is right now. and that’s never gonna change, alright? i’m always gonna be here for you.”
tyler swallows. “but how can you be sure of that?” he says as his voice wavers a little, a couple tears slipping out of his eyes. jenna squeezes his hand. “because i’m pretty sure fate wants it that way.” she answers. tyler raises an eyebrow while he wipes his face, clearly confused at her answer. “w-what do you mean?” now it’s jenna’s turn to break eye contact.
“well...what if i were to tell you that you were the reason i decided to stick around?” tyler looks at her like she’s a different person. “i...wouldn’t believe you. i-i don’t mean that much to anyone.” he stammers out slowly.
“but you do.” she says, looking at him sincerely. he takes a few moments to process. he hates what she does to him, the affect she has on him. why would she care about him? he’s a nobody. she shouldn’t be wasting her time worrying about him.
all of a sudden, three knocks on the door are heard. “yeah?” tyler calls. the door opens to reveal tyler’s mom in an apron. “i just came up here to tell you that dinner’s ready. jenna? do you wanna stay for dinner?” she asks in her naturally bubbly state. jenna perks up a little. “sure, i’d love to!” she says with a smile. tyler’s mom smiles in return. “alright, well you two can come on down whenever.” she says as she leaves the doorway to go back down to the kitchen.
“thanks mom!” tyler calls as she vanishes. jenna smiles at him. “c’mon.” she says as she pushes herself off of the floor and starts making her way out the door. tyler quickly gets up after her.
“jenna wait.” he says as she’s pulling the door open. she turns around and looks at him questioningly. “what?” tyler pauses “i...” he sighs and brings one hand up to his head. this isn’t gonna be easy.
“okay i’m just gonna get this out before i think twice about it.” he states. jenna’s hand slowly leaves the doorknob, her full attention on him now. tyler takes a breath in before speaking again.
“there’s something between us jenna. i’ve been aware of it for...as long as it’s been there, but at the same time i’ve been trying to ignore it because i was afraid. i didn’t know if i was the only one who knew it was there, who felt it. but i know that i can’t be the only one who feels this. please...tell me it’s not just me.” the words all come tumbling out of his mouth. he breathes in shakily and takes a few steps closer to her, taking her hands in his. “let me know it’s not all in my head.” he mutters, bringing his eyes up to hers.
a smile breaks out across jenna’s face. she intertwines her fingers with tyler’s and steps even closer to him. “of course it isn’t tyler.” tyler audibly breathes out in relief. “whatever it is, i’ve felt it for a while now.” she says with a small laugh, her face inches from his. “yeah?” he asks breathlessly. this is the closest he’s ever been to a girl. more that that, this is the closest he’s ever been to her.
“yeah.��� jenna confirms quietly. tyler nods a few times as his nose touches hers softly. tyler’s heart is racing so fast it might beat out of his chest. he can feel jenna’s warm breath fanning on his lips, giving him goosebumps and sending his mind racing.
his eyes flicker down to her lips, and he realizes how easy it would be just to...
“can i...” he trails off, not quite able to form a sentence in this moment. one of his hands loosens from her grasp and halfway detaches itself from hers. his eyes meet hers again as she switches her own gaze from his lips up to his beautiful eyes. “yeah.” jenna says, voice barely above a whisper. tyler lets out an unsteady breath as his hand comes up and rests on the back of her head, his thumb on her cheekbone. he closes the ever so small gap between them quickly, as if there were a magnet pulling them together. his other hand tightens its grip on hers as her free hand comes up by his waist, pulling his body right up against hers.
they pull apart after a few seconds, foreheads against one another as their breaths mix together. tyler smiles and opens his eyes, only to be met with jenna’s eternally bright blue ones as he rubs his thumb softly over her cheek. jenna stands on her tiptoes and pecks his nose quickly with a smile. tyler wraps his arms around her shoulders tightly, resting his chin on the top of her head.
jenna’s arms wrap around his waist as she lays her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. he presses a kiss to the top of her head as they slowly sway side to side, both wishing the moment to last forever.
maybe tyler will get better. maybe he can keep fighting. maybe there’s still some hope left.
maybe he can still make it.
~~~
“so mommy’s your hero?”
tyler chuckles lightly. “yeah, i guess that’s one way of putting it.”
end~ omg this is one of my fav things i’ve ever written sksjsksk
7 notes · View notes
whenimgoodandready · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“I can bring a smile to your face, A tear to your eye, Or even a thought to your mind. But, I can’t be seen. What am I!?”............(Hint:Answer below) How’s the real Butterfly princess of Mewni doin’? Playing? Sleeping? Attacking Marco? Well, let’s take a look see on the precious half breed baby. Coochie-Coochie Coo!:
*Meteora’s Lesson-What Do “The Rugrats” and “Baby’s Day Out” have in common? They all have terrible child care providers that’s what! Janna just got on that list. Eclipsa was on her way to a meeting with the Pigeon Kingdom, (as she fluently speaks from “Tough Love”), glad to see she’s being more active in her royal duties there, good for her and has Jeepers Creepers Janna watch over Meteora. It sure as Hell can’t be M-A-R-C-O for obvious reasons and idk where the f*** Star was, but we’re not focusing on the teens right now, the spotlights on Meteora now. Janna does what any tween/teen/young adult would do in an authoritive position and just glues her face to her smart phone. Relatable. I’m doin’ that right now too.
While she’s doin’ that, Glossaryck shows up (with a “broken arm”) and it turns out, he’s been secretly teaching Meteora how to do her magic! Huh, that’s funny, Eclipsa’s the Queen, but he “doesn’t work for her”, Star has a piece of The Magic Book of Spells and he doesn’t really pay attention to her too and instead he’s mentoring Meteora! Guess he was right, he really doesn’t have a side! Glossaryck was teaching what Star learned from “My New Wand!” and that was to Dip Down! They seem to have an understandable language barrier between them and it looks like Meteoras a prodigy! He’s also real sweet with her too, guess he found a new favorite. After still not getting the hang of Dipping Down, Glossaryck sneaks Meteora away to teach her another lesson right from under Janna’s nose who was playing Candy Crush or Super Mario or whatever, IDK, IDC!
He takes her to The Plains of Time where Father Time was, ironically, not on time to help them with a time travel lesson Glossaryck was trying to teach Meteora from the past, so he’s stuck with the forgotten member of the Magic High Commission, a bald giraff named Reynaldo, The Bald Pate! Oh Lookie! Lookie! It’s him! He was first known to us in The Magic Book of Spells where he was in charge of orderliness in the universe. Glossaryck wasn’t really interested in seeing him (as he is with the rest of the commission) cuz he only speaks in riddles/rhythms. Reynaldo doesn’t even like riddles!? Blame it on one of the former false Butterfly family line of queens of Mewni, Rhina, The Riddled! She was riddle obsessed and tired to use a spell to get him to like riddles like her, but she f***ed up and instead made him speak in riddles. The commission couldn’t understand him cuz of that, so he was forced to leave. Now he just rows a boat to time tunnels in The Plains of Time. What’s worse!? Glossy is exasperated with him and won’t bring him back to the commission either! (Father of the Year over here (rolls eyes)). Yeah, that’s right, Glossaryck created the commission and its members, so therefore, they’re his children. His very shameful children :P.
Their first stop was a mistake as Reynaldo lead them too far back in time where Glossaryck makes the first Butterfly Queen! Then tells them to take shelter in a stump ;). Finally, they get to the correct past and they meet a gang of young lizards lead by-OMG! IT’S TOFFEE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! He’s so young! Okay! Okay! Sorry ‘bout that, it’s just (squee) Toffee! Anyways, this was before his General days and he’s now runnin’ a gang through initiation where he was also rude and aggressive. The second lesson to Meteora here is that “Jerks like (Toffee) will never change”. Glossaryck triggers Toffees bullying by making him break his other arm (Yeah, it was Toffees fault, what a brute) and that’s when Meteora DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPS DOOOOOOOOOOWN! Whoa! That may not have been the best idea since it’s what fueled him to kill Comet for later (say good-bye to that pudding pie Glossy). Despite that, Glossaryck is proud of her.
Sorry Star, but I guess Meteora here surpassed you as youngest princess in history to Dip Down. Smart little cookie there, maybe she still does have some of her subconscious knowledge from her old life in there, the good ones I mean. Some fans thought she would go through a Renesmee Cullen phase, but no folks, she’s still a little bundle of joy. Sorry. Is Glossaryck training her to fight off Mina when she comes in to attack!? I’m guessing it is! Cuz the upcoming episodes are “Queen-Napped” and I’m she’ll probably be there to crash at “Cornonation” too. I knew we would see Reynaldo the Bald Pate eventually, the book wasn’t given to us just for fun you know, we know more then what the nonbook owners know! Hee Hee! Before he was forced to leave, Reynaldo was basically a “stick in the mud” type and not as exciting as the other members of the Magic High Commission such as Hekapoo or Rhombulus. Poor guys just lonely and stuck speaking in riddles for centuries! Maybe if there were a way to break off that spell he can replace everyone in the Magic High Commission!? Cuz one of Glossarycks “List of Things To Do” from The Magic Book of Spells was “Fire the Magic High Commission”! Or he just realized the whole thing was a mistake and wants it dissembled? Glossaryck plays favorites here. He loves and treats Meteora nicely, but doesn’t give two s*** about his biological children! Well, considering what they did, I think it’s reasonable. From what we just saw in time, Glossaryck started the whole thing! Like the first Butterfly Queen, she was just come random pilgrim woman with magical amnesia and Glossaryck was all, “There! You’re queen now!” WTF!? That’s how it all began! Did he just feel bad leaving them defenseless!? Is that why!? Then it’s the holiday of Stump Day where that thing will almost kill everyone at Stars Quinceañera! And finally, igniting Toffees hatred of magical girls and the assassination of Comet! He’s favorite queen! What’s wrong with you Glossaryck!? Are you crazy!? Huh!? HUH!? HUH!? Why is he doing all this!? He sees it all coming, but he never prevented any of it from happening! What’s the outcome of it all!? (annoyingly shrugs). On a bright note. I am just SO happy we got to see Toffee again, a Past Toffee, but Toffee none the less, and Michael C. Hall still voiced him, but in a juvenile tone! Nice job there Mike! ;). To me, Toffee looked to be 18yrs, but that’s just me admiring his pretty boy look 😅. I mean, it’s medieval times, but he was all 80’s grunge style cuz he had like a mullet and a red leather jacket straight out of a Micheal Jackson music video! XD! He was so the Bad Boy of Mewni back then! So this was the “No spoiler” Daron mentioned at The Grove of her Q&A at Barnes and Nobles when one fan asked if Toffee was “truly dead” (I was there!). I know he was only cameoed for the fans (and fangirls) cuz we all missed him, but what a transition he went through from an impulsive punk gang leader to an authoritive General and then a calculated conservative slightly polite gadgeteer “lawyer”! What a surprise that was! I was really really hoping we’d see Toffee again, cuz this is the final season and he deserves to be in it! I always kinda thought he was “too cool to die”, but if he’s truly dead, he was the best villain of the show and if not, then let the fangirls scream it from the mountains above! I miss him. Thank you, Daron!😘 (Answer:Princess Meteora Butterfly!).
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes