#surprised nobody had designed them a kid yet when they nearly had one in canon

[just-ornstein]

Chrysalis or Chrissy for short, the rambunctious daughter of the Mighty Monarch and Council Member Dr. Mrs. The Monarch! And collector of all types of plants and insects…

#the venture bros #the venture brothers #dr mrs the monarch #the monarch #Dr girlfriend #sheila fitzcarraldo #malcom fitzcarraldo #venture bros #venture brothers #surprised nobody had designed them a kid yet when they nearly had one in canon #monarch’s features are so strong and interesting that I’d feel any kid of his would inherit them lol #tried to put more of Sheila in there by giving her the black hair and blue eyes #the eye shapes are a mix #may design a kid for Gary and 24 (will explain on his sheet how that is possible when he's deceased) #just so she's got a friend to vibe with #other ideas involve an adopted son for billy and white #and another test tube baby for brock and rusty lol #we'll see how many I'll get to #my art

[galadrieljones]

A Funeral: Chapter 16 (Arthur Morgan x Mary Beth Gaskill)

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption 2 | Pairing: Arthur x Mary Beth | Rating: Mature

Content: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Touch-Starved, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Marriage, Epiphanies, Backstory, Banter, Deep Emotions, Sharing a Bed, Swimming, Arthur to the Rescue, Forests, Abduction, Angst, Heavy Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Content, Sexual Themes, Adult Content, Canon Divergence

Summary: To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. He agrees, and on their journey, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. In their desperate search for meaning together, they endure a number of trials, some small, some big—all of which bring them closer to one another as well as to the future, and to the unchecked dangers of the natural world.

Credit to @bearly-tolerable for the banner! Art is my own.

***For the rest of this story, you can visit the masterpost or AO3, both linked in the replies to this post and also at my blog.***

Chapter 16: The Father

On the way back, they camped one night in the wild, practically, and spent their second night back at the Winterson’s B&B in Emerald Station. Lawrence and Lizette were glad to see them again. They stayed up late talking and drinking brandy Old Fashioneds in front of the fire. The brandy Old Fashioned was a style of drink neither Arthur nor Mary Beth had ever had before. They were used to Kentucky Bourbon Old Fashioneds, which is what they served at the high saloons in St. Denis and also in Rhodes.

“Back in Wisconsin,” said Lawrence, muddling a piece of orange with the brandy in a mortar bowl, “they make them with brandy.”

“You learned that while studying medicine with your pa?” said Arthur. He took a drink. He liked the brandy Old Fashioned. It was awfully sweet, but he could stand it.

“Yes, sir.”

“Is it true they got lily farms up there? In Wisconsin?”

Lawrence glanced at him over the top rim of his glasses. They were in the sitting room. Lizette had brought out a loaf of raisin bread with fresh butter. “So I hear,” said Lawrence. “But west of where I used to kick around, which was a port city on Lake Michigan by the name of Kenosha. You’d probably find some lily farms on the other side of the state though. Closer to the Mississippi. Peonies, too.”

“Peonies?” said Mary Beth, sounding breathless. “That must smell so good. Gosh.”

“I imagine it would smell quite good, yes,” said Lawrence, proper, smiling at her, very warm. He was taken with Mary Beth’s vivacious outpourings in conversation—innocently of course. More like admiration for a daughter he never had.

Going to sleep that night, Arthur and Mary Beth were a little boozed up and just lie there in the big, white bed, staring up at the big, white ceiling. He held her hand and counted the cracks in the stone, of which there were very few. The house was in strong condition. At some point, Mary Beth turned to face him, her head resting in her hand. She was too tipsy to read before bed that night and just wanted to be close to him. He opened his arm up to her so she could rest her head on his chest, and he closed his eyes.

“I ain’t been drunk like this in some time,” she said.

Arthur smiled at this. “Last time I got actually drunk, I lost Lenny at the saloon in Valentine. I nearly got arrested for my disorderly behavior.”

Mary Beth found this to be amusing. “How’s he doing?” she said.

“Lenny?” said Arthur, breathing out. “He’s fine. He works too hard, I believe.”

Mary Beth hesitated then, burrowed a little into his smell and his warmth. “I was just wondering. You know I think he’d taken a shine to Jenny,” she said, a little sad. “Before, back in New Austin. I didn’t know her that well.”

“Me neither,” said Arthur.

“Anyway,” said Mary Beth.

“Yeah.”

They breathed.

“I’m falling asleep,” said Mary Beth after a little while.

“Me, too,” said Arthur. “I’m beat.”

“How early do you want to leave in the morning?”

“Whenever we get on,” he said. “I ain’t in no hurry.”

“Sounds good,” she said. “Goodnight, Arthur.”

He turned his head, kissed her soft on the temple. “Goodnight, Mary Beth,” he said.

They fell asleep like that, with all the lamps lit. At some point in the night, Arthur woke up and went to turn them all down while Mary Beth slept soundly with her hair like a combed out nest on the pillow.

The next night, they rode into Shady Belle, very late, after one in the morning. This was by design. The camp was mostly sleeping. They were greeted by Charles on the perimeter, who was eating an apple and extremely relieved to see them. They hitched up their horses and were able to sneak inside, undetected by all but Sadie, who was up late on the porch, smoking a cigarette and keeping watch on the courtyard with her long shotgun in her lap.

She smiled at the sight of them. “You’re back,” she said.

“That we are,” said Arthur. “Anything to report?”

“Not really,” said Sadie, blowing out a lungful. “Kind of a dull week.”

“Well that’s all you can really hope for,” said Arthur.

Mary Beth reached into her saddlebag then, which she had flung over her shoulder. She took out a handful of blackberries, tucked in a handkerchief. “A souvenir,” she said, “for you.” She handed them to Sadie, who was outright surprised and flattered.

“Blackberries?” she said.

“They don’t grow down here,” said Mary Beth. “Not like they do up there in Roanoke Ridge. You work real hard. It ain’t nothing big but they sure taste good.”

“Well, thank you,” said Sadie, giving a nod. “You’re real sweet, Mary Beth.”

She blushed.

Arthur held the door. Together, he and Mary Beth went inside to the quiet, sleeping plantation home. They looked around. The walls, all crumbling, smelling of mothballs and beer and swamp. Arthur sighed. Mary Beth was looking around at all the shadows, listening to the sleeping girls and their breathing in the room up front with the windows. Mary Beth had her hands cupped together in front of her, tense, like she was seeing the place for the first time, and she was disappointed. “Come on,” he said, his hand on her lower back. “Let’s go upstairs.”

She smiled up at him, like she was trying. He felt such an enormous weight inside him now, again, pulling downward, anchoring him into nothingness, and he wanted to release it, float away. But once they got to his quarters, which were cozy and nicely kept, and they could see that Miss Grimshaw had been keeping it dusted, they both relaxed a little—the windows were wide open and it was not so terribly oppressive here. She lit the lamp on the little table by the bed and walked around the room with it, studying the pictures and things, the little jar of flowers that he kept to remind him of his childhood dreams. Arthur stripped to his drawers as it was hot, and he was exhausted. He sprawled as much as he could on the bed, which was small like the bed at Deer Cottage. He watched her walking around the room in her careful examination of his things and his life, and after a little while, he beckoned her to come over to him, which she did.

She sat down on the bed beside where he lie. She smiled down and he calmly took down her braids. She undressed, too, just to her pale chemise. She lie next to him, on the inside, closest to the wall and closed her eyes. He had a thing where he needed to sleep on the side of the bed between her and the door. It’s just what it was.

“I love you,” she said before they went to sleep. It was not the big white bed at the Winterson’s. It was not the simple beauty of Deer Cottage, or the odd romance of Hamish Sinclair’s loft. It was just their place, and she was slowly settling into what she knew and how it didn’t matter, none of it did, as long as they were beside one another.

“I love you, too,” said Arthur. He curled around her, held her. They slept hard and still as warm stones past morning break, into daylight.

In the late morning, Hosea was out walking the swamps, getting new air into his lungs. He noticed Sarah and Watson were back. Kieran was over there with them, brushing out Sarah’s mane and putting it into delicate braids. Watson was chewing on an apple core and looked neatly groomed herself.

“Kieran,” said Hosea. He went over, put his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Arthur and Mary Beth—they’re back I see.”

“Yep,” said Kieran, feeding a peppermint to Sarah who licked his hand. “Got in late last night, according to Charles. Ain’t nobody seen them yet this morning though.”

“I see,” said Hosea.

“They must be pretty tired.”

“I would imagine so.”

“You could check the house?”

“Will do.” He patted Kieran firmly on the back then, gave him a little shake. “Keep it up, kid. You do a fine job with these nags. I mean it.”

“Yes, sir,” said Kieran, a little bashful. "I was thinking of taking Arthur's old horse Diana for a ride today. Just to stretch her legs, maybe into Rhodes."

"I'm sure Arthur would appreciate that," said Hosea. "Just be careful."

"I will be. Thanks, Hosea."

Hosea went back to the house.

Inside, Karen was sitting at the table, playing solitaire by her lonesome with a cup of coffee and a piece of buttered bread. “Hi there,” she said.

“Hello, Karen,” said Hosea. “You seen Arthur or Mary Beth?”

“Nope,” said Karen, failing to look up from her cards. “Didn’t even know they was back.”

“I’ll check upstairs,” he said.

“Sounds good,” she said.

He walked by John’s room. The door was open a crack. Abigail was in there with Jack. They were reading a book out loud on the chair. “Morning,” said Abigail when she saw him, very bright and pretty.

“Good morning, children,” said Hosea. “What are we reading?”

“Oh, something with knights,” said Abigail. “I don’t know a thing that’s going on, but I’m trying my best.”

“Where’s John?”

“Somewhere around here. Chores, maybe.”

“You seen Arthur at all? Or Mary Beth?”

“I didn’t know they was back,” said Abigail. “But Arthur’s door is closed. Been closed all morning.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Uncle Hosea," said Jack.

“Bye, Jack. Don’t quit with the book-learning. It suits you.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

He pulled the door closed behind him, went to Arthur’s room. He took a deep breath and knocked. “Arthur?” he said through the door, gently. He knocked again. “Arthur. You awake in there?”

Arthur groaned. He reached over to the top of the hope chest by the head of the bed, picked up the cheap pocket watch he kept there. It was after ten. Mary Beth was barely stirring. He sat up, rubbed his face with both hands furiously, placed his feet on the floor. “Coming,” he said. Had it been any voice but Hosea’s he would have told them to fuck off.

He got up slowly, went to the door where Hosea was waiting patiently on the other side. “Morning,” said Arthur.

“Good morning,” said Hosea. “I’m sorry to wake you. I just saw your horses were back, and I was eager to make sure everything was okay.”

“Everything’s good,” said Arthur, leaning in the doorway. He crossed both his arms over his chest. “We just got in late. How’s everything with you?”

“Just fine,” said Hosea. “Just fine. How was your trip?”

Arthur smiled, real groggy feeling. “Oh, you know,” he said, like a joke. “Life-changing.”

Hosea reached forward, placed his hand firmly on Arthur’s shoulder for a moment. “Well, I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Me, too."

“I also wanted to talk to you about something. It’s not a pressing matter, but I think—”

He stopped himself short then. He was glancing past Arthur, into the bedroom, looking surprised.

Arthur followed his gaze. Mary Beth was coming over from the bed now, wide awake. She was shrugging one of Arthur’s shirts over her shoulders and pushing the hair out of her face, and when she saw Hosea at the door, she smiled, big and easy going. “Hi, Hosea,” she said, buttoning the shirt. “It’s good to see you.”

Hosea blushed, furiously, removed his hand from Arthur’s shoulder and stood up very straight. He seemed taken quite off guard. “Miss Gaskill,” he said. “I’m so very sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding,” she said, looking up at Arthur. “Morning, Arthur.”

He smiled down at her. “Good morning, Mary Beth,” he said. Then he glanced down at the wood grain of the old floor by his feet and sort of laughed. He started rubbing at his face again and looked up at Hosea and his old man’s chivalrous surprise. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” he said.

Hosea shook out his head a little, sort of like a dog, coming into a new realization. “Oh,” he said. “Right. Well, it’s no hurry. Take your time. I’ll be out on the balcony, with coffee. Just come find me when you’re ready.”

“Can do.”

Mary Beth was still smiling. “How are you?” she said to Hosea.

“Oh, I’m just fine,” he said. “Thank you. I know I’m an old geezer, Miss Gaskill, but you don’t need to worry about me.”

“Of course I do,” she said. “Don’t be silly.”

Hosea became bashful. He wrung his hands a little then, smiled at them both, looking somehow both immensely sheepish but also emotional—proud, maybe? “See you in a bit,” he said to Arthur. He nodded quickly, to Mary Beth. “Miss Gaskill.” Then he was on his way.

Once he was gone, Arthur closed the door. He had his hands on his hips. He started to laugh, scratching at the scruff on his face. “I never seen the old man blush like that before,” he said. “I think you near on gave him a heart attack.”

“Well, he obviously wasn’t expecting to see me,” she said, brushing her hair in the mirror by the foot of the bed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come to the door like that.”

“Nah,” said Arthur, waving her off. “I’ve known Hosea for over twenty years. He was gonna find out anyway.”

“I guess,” said Mary Beth. She looked over her shoulder then, as he was getting dressed. “What do you think he wants to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” said Arthur. “I’ll find out, and I’ll tell you later.”

“I should probably go find Miss Grimshaw,” said Mary Beth, feigning exasperation. “I’m sure she has a whole list of chores for me to do, on account of my relaxing vacation and all.”

Arthur laughed to himself. “She’ll go easy on you,” he said. “I got a feeling.”

“That sounds like a real nice feeling,” she said.

But Arthur got quiet then. He was looking out the window. He didn’t have a shirt on yet. He’d got distracted by the sights and the sounds from the outside.

“You okay?” she said.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m just nervous.”

Mary Beth understood this. She went to him. She regarded his size and his naked back, and she pressed into him, kissing the long spine, muscled and the groove between his shoulder blades. She put her arms around him and felt him exhale. He was warm and he smelled good.

"I know I shouldn’t be.”

"It’s okay to be nervous,” she said, wanting to make him relax. She felt a hand down the front of his slacks, real casual, and she held him, then she worked him in firm strokes until he began to respond, and then he himself shuddered and leaned forward against the table on the palms of his hands. He hung his head, helpless to her. They were still in these desperate wanting stages in which their bodies were vessels to unveil and explore. She told him to turn around and face her, and he obeyed. He leaned back against the creaking table, and she dropped to her knees and undid his slacks and pushed them down and took him into her mouth. This was something she’d never done before, but she wanted to give to him, to just sit in worship, for a moment. He was a little surprised by her forward, gentle aggression but he didn’t protest. He held the hair off her face and seemed desperately curious as he watched her. And at some point, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back as she fell into a rhythm. He was breathing deep, making both boyish whimpers and deep, masculine noises that excited her, and after a little while, his grip on her hair grew tighter, and he told her he was very close, and then he pulsed into her, and she was very happy to finish him and ease him into a calm release and then she let him go, and she sat back on her heels, wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and waited until he opened his eyes, and then he sort of cradled her face in his big hands, and he looked down at her tenderly. He gave her his hand. She stood, and she helped button him up and she helped him with his suspenders. He kissed her on the eyebrow, looked down at her and then kissed her knuckles with his eyes closed.

“Do I deserve you?” he said, sort of lighthearted, but she could tell he was not fully joking.

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Please, Arthur,” she said. “Don’t start with that now.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“It ain’t nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed his jaw and then she fluffed her hands through his hair and went back to braiding her own hair in the mirror at the end of the bed. He took a very deep breath and absorbed the good feelings inside his body, his head cleared by their casual yet intense intimacy—something he just was not used to. He rolled up his sleeves and put on his hat. He gave her a kiss and she was putting on her necklace with the turquoise stones.

“I’ll see you later,” he said.

“Okay,” she said.

He let her go. He lingered in the doorway a little, watching as she straightened the pleats of her skirt.

Arthur thought then about living in a house on a hill overlooking a vast prairie. He’d never had anything of his very own before. Not like this. Not even Mary. No matter how much he’d loved Mary, how she loved him back. It had been groundbreaking for him, as it was after the tragedy of Eliza and Isaac, and it made him think—just for a second, that there was life out there. There was something he was good for, still. That he could find a way to redeem his failures. But with Mary, it was never like that. It was never casual or easy. It was years that went by, and even still, it was never simple. There was always something getting in the way, some obstacle. Her father, this life. It came between them and wrestled her away on a continuous basis. Making her second guess, making her choose and question herself, the both of them, and what they knew. She liked the ride. She liked the thrill that it gave her. She was a good girl, and he was a bad boy. But that’s only the way she saw it, and he didn’t want to be that to her. He didn’t want to be that anymore. It was a necessity. It was not a choice. It wasn’t, and that was the thing that Mary Beth understood that Mary never could see: this life was not a choice. It never had been. Before now.

Arthur came out to the balcony. He found Hosea, reading from a book of detective stories and drinking a cup of coffee. There was a carafe and another cup, for Arthur, and a tin ash tray. The air was warm. The day was new and humid, but not as humid as it could have been. The flies were buzzing, nonetheless. Arthur took off his hat, hung it on the back of his chair, and then he sat down.

“Morning,” he said. He was still a little groggy.

“How are you, Arthur?” said Hosea, closing his book and setting it aside. “Good, I hope?”

“I’m well,” said Arthur, nodding. “Thank you. How are you doing, Hosea? How’s everything?”

“Calm enough,” said Hosea. He poured Arthur a cup of coffee from the carafe. “Of course the weather here leaves something to be desired, but I muddle through.”

“Good,” said Arthur, regarding the steaming coffee, taking a sip.

“Dutch is in St. Denis,” said Hosea, right away. “Scoping out something or other with Mr. Angelo Bronte. I can’t say I trust the matter one bit, but we’ll see what pans out.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” said Arthur. “Bronte?”

Hosea stared at him, smiled. “Initially,” he said. “Yes. I am heading to the city this afternoon to discuss some matters with Dutch at the saloon, and I was going to ask you to go with me. But that’s no longer necessary.”

“You sure?” said Arthur.

“Absolutely,” said Hosea. “I’ll bring young Lenny instead. He could learn a thing or two, if he’s so inclined.”

“Okay,” said Arthur. “Fine by me.”

Hosea nodded, took a drink.

“Is everything okay?” said Arthur, giving him a long, careful look. “It still seems like there’s something on your mind.”

“There is,” said Hosea.

"What's going on?"

“Tell me about you and Mary Beth,” he said, desperately interested.

Arthur felt his cheeks get a little hot. He wasn't really expecting this, though he wasn't sure why not. He leaned in on his elbows, took a sip of his coffee. “It is what it seems,” he said, wringing the mug between his hands.

“You seem happy,” said Hosea. “You seem together.”

“I am,” said Arthur. “And we are. It happened sort of fast, I guess. But to be honest, we’ve been friends for a while. The trip just put our relationship into perspective a little bit. That’s all.”

“Do you love her?” said Hosea.

Arthur sighed, squared up with him. “Yes,” he said. “I do. And strangely enough, she seems to love me back.”

“There’s nothing strange about that, Arthur.”

“Seems strange.”

“Why?”

“Well, she’s younger than me, for starters. Prettier than me. Smarter than me.”

“You’re smarter than you think,” said Hosea, finishing his coffee, pouring another. “I’ve always tried to get you to see that. Maybe she’ll succeed where I’ve failed.”      

“You ain’t never failed me,” said Arthur, serious.

“Not yet,” said Hosea, cheeky. “Are you gonna marry her?”

Arthur nodded, lit a cigarette from his pocket, offered one to Hosea, but Hosea declined. “When the time is right,” he said, leaning back in his chair, studying the tip of the cigarette. “We ain’t discussed marriage specifically, but we’ve discussed most else.”

This seemed to bring Hosea a great deal of surprise and joy. He smiled, placed a firm hand on Arthur’s forearm, which surprised Arthur. Hosea leaned closer to him over the table, spoke quietly. “That’s wonderful, Arthur,” he said. “I’m truly happy for you.”

Arthur blinked through the smoke, relieved, near on confused. He put out the cigarette in the ash tray. “Thank you, Hosea,” he said, fanning away some of the smoke, searching the moment, not sure how to proceed. “That means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome,” said Hosea. “But I assume this means you’ll be leaving the gang. You and her.”

Arthur cleared his throat. He was looking right at Hosea and feeling Hosea looking right at him, right into his soul. He felt like a boy, but he felt okay. He felt safe. He looked down at Hosea’s hand where it was touching his forearm. He put his own hand on top of Hosea’s in a rush of gratitude. He sighed and closed his eyes. He nodded. Then he looked up. “Yes,” he said. “You know I can’t do it any other way, Hosea. You know.”

Hosea was nodding along, in a reassuring fashion. “Yes, I know,” he said. “And I want you to know that I think that’s real smart, Arthur. Real smart. That’s the first smart decision you’ve made in a long time.”

Arthur smiled at this. It was a dig but he knew it was meant to be a positive reinforcement. He also felt somewhat strange, still unsure of what to do or say. He shook his head. “I’m…scared, Hosea,” he said. “I got a conflicted feeling in my gut.”

“Scared of what?” said Hosea. “Not of being a husband, I hope. If I could do it, you certainly can. You’ll figure that out on the fly.”

“No,” said Arthur, almost amused by this. “No, not that.”

“Then what is it?

“I just—I ain’t sure what’s coming,” said Arthur. “And I don’t know how to handle…certain very delicate parts of this equation. I know how I feel. I know how she feels. We been through a lot this past week that’s made things very clear. I want her, and I’m making a tough choice here, because I cannot protect her here forever, nor can I protect myself. I mean, with everything, what else am I supposed to do?”

“You want children, I hope?”

“Yes, I do,” said Arthur, swallowing, thirsty. “I want that chance, Hosea. I blew it before. You know that. I destroyed a whole part of myself.”

“Arthur, you’ve got to let it go.”

“I am,” said Arthur, patting Hosea on the hand. “I am. But I can’t forget. Even if I can forgive myself for what happened to Eliza and Isaac, I can’t forget, and I ain’t doing that again. I ain’t making that same mistake.”

“It sounds like you’ve thought about this quite a bit,” said Hosea. “What’s the problem?”

Arthur sighed, heavy, shook his head. “Dutch,” he said.

“What about Dutch.”

“I keep coming back to him, even as he infuriates and confuses me to no end,” said Arthur. “These past few years. The killing. The revenge. Blackwater. I can’t—I can’t keep giving and giving and giving. Not when I don’t know what the hell is going on. I just can’t, not no more. Colm O’Driscoll nearly killed me for it. I ain’t taking that chance.”

“You leave Dutch to me,” said Hosea, very brisk.

“What do you mean?” said Arthur.

“I’ll talk to him. Today, in St. Denis. I’ll make him see reason, and if I can’t, then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I love you like a son, Arthur. That’s no joke. That’s the heartfelt truth. I’ve only ever wanted what’s best for you, your happiness. I know how it’s been hard, what you’ve had to endure. I’ve always thought you’d be better suited for a quiet life, your own domain. You’re a good man, a smart man, and a loyal man, and you’ve come a long way, and I have always thought that with the right girl you’d find an outlet for your loyalty that makes sense.”

“What do you mean, an outlet that makes sense?”

“A family, Arthur,” said Hosea, shaking him up a little. “A real family, of your own.”

Arthur was deeply touched, filled with emotion in ways he could not describe or fully communicate. “I don’t—I don’t know what to say,” he said. “I wasn’t expecting—”

“You don’t have to say anything,” said Hosea. “I just want to be clear. Do you understand everything I've been saying?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. “I think so.”

“Good.” Hosea patted him on the top of the hand once, then removed his own hands to his lap and sat back in his chair. “Now, do you two have specific plans for the future, or is this all being played by ear?”

Arthur looked down into his coffee. “We was thinking of heading north,” he said. “Soon. I don’t know exactly when.”

“May I ask a somewhat personal question?” said Hosea. “You don’t have to answer."

“Anything.”

“Is there a chance, Arthur, that Mary Beth is already pregnant?”

It was like he’d read Arthur’s mind, the way he was looking at him, right into him. Arthur clenched his jaw a little bit and nodded. “Yes,” he said. “I don’t know how likely or exact, but yes.”

“So this could all be happening very soon,” said Hosea.

“Maybe,” said Arthur. “Like I said, I’m not sure.”

“And you’re thinking north?” said Hosea, serious. “Like what? Iowa? Wisconsin?”

"Exactly.”

“Very well.” He was looking down at his hands now, like he was thinking, calculating. “Have you talked to John?”

“Marston?” said Arthur, leaning in. “No, why?”

“You should,” said Hosea. “The two of you should discuss this together.”

“Discuss what?”

“Leaving.” He stared right at him, his eyes old and glassy, but pure. "Before it's too late."

“Leaving together?” said Arthur.

“Just think about it,” said Hosea, very warm and fatherly. He coughed once, into his shirt sleeve and smiled. “Talk to John. That’s all I ask.”

Meanwhile, Mary Beth was leaving Arthur’s bedroom, closing the door, when she happened upon Abigail in the hallway. Jack was there, with a handful of crayons and a small stack of paper. When Abigail saw Mary Beth, she became excited and hurried. She rushed Jack down the stairs.

“Go on,” she said. “Go find Miss Tilly.”

“Hey, y’all,” said Mary Beth. “How are you?”

“We're fine,” said Jack. “How are you,  Mary Beth?”

“Just fine.” She smiled.

“You heard what I said,” said Abigail to Jack. “I need to talk to Miss Mary Beth about something, now you run along, okay?”

“Okay, mama,” said Jack. “Bye, Mary Beth.”

“Bye,” said Mary Beth. She was a a little confused.

Once Jack was gone, Abigail smoothed the pleats of her skirt and tucked the loose hair behind her ears. She grabbed Mary Beth by the arm and looked around, real secretive, and then she tugged Mary Beth back into her room, closed the door, sat them both down on a couple of chairs across from one another by the open window.

“What’s going on?” said Mary Beth.

“Tell me everything,” said Abigail, lighting up.

Mary Beth almost started laughing. “Everything about what?” she said.

“About you and Arthur.” Abigail was leaning in real close, her elbows resting on her knees. “I know you two are together now. Tell me. Tell me all about it.” She was smiling so big and so bright and so pretty. She grabbed both of Mary Beth’s hands into her own. Mary Beth was blushing. She was flattered. She didn’t really know what to say.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #mary beth gaskill #arthur x mary beth #arthur morgan x mary beth gaskill #a funeral

[brishu]

Almost Everyone

My daughters were introduced to the music of the Backstreet Boys by camp counselors, so their only context for hearing some of their bigger hits (and they have an astonishing number of very big hits) was the enthusiasm of people about 10 years older than them. No anti-boyband snark, no snobbery that looks askance at performers who don’t play instruments. They began asking for specific songs to be added to their music players, and even requested “As Long As You Love Me” at my dearest friend’s daughter’s Bat Mitzvah party. To them, the Backstreet Boys were as much a part of the pop canon as Elvis, only still out there performing.

Their response to the BSB’s seemed to be purely musical. It’s possible that they got high on secondhand boyband fumes, since their counselors’ enthusiasm was surely fueled by the gangbusters marketing campaign designed to make millions of kids fall in love with AJ, Brian, Nick, Howie and Kevin, which is probably even harder to pull off than it sounds. But as much as I’d like to, I can’t discount the quality of the music either. And if I’m shocked that five cute boys who first performed together in 1993 just hung another Number 1 album on the Billboard charts (which apparently also still exist), maybe it’s my shock that should be shocking. I also envied the girls their ready embrace of songs they liked without subjecting them to the battery of artistic litmus tests their sonically dyspeptic father does. 

The psychotherapeutic industry seems built upon the distinction between gentle and brutal. If you make the same, relatively harmless mistake repeatedly, steps toward correction are fine, but ease up on the internal machete. If you are too prone to lying to maintain valuable relationships or hold down a job, stop treating your dishonesty like fine china, you goddamn schlemiel. OK, I’m not a psychological expert but one of the things I’ve been working on in therapy is retaining a consistent striving for improvement while loosening an attachment to self-flagellation. So, occasional desire to make my children happy aside, was it a well-earned moment of transcendence or a mere boot to my own aesthetics that led me to sneak off to the Barclays Center to buy a trio of Backstreet Boys tickets while the girls were in Hebrew school?

I didn’t tell them about the tickets for several months, but ultimately I worried that surprising them on the day of the concert would pressure them to evince unnatural levels of appreciation for their loving father’s amazing gesture, so about two weeks before the show, I gave them a heads up. 

Another chronic difficulty I have is ordering food from people whose first language is not English. I don’t think it makes me Steve King to cling to the generalization that they never take me seriously when I say I want it spicy. So on the day of the concert I ordered Thai food and asked them to make it “extra, extra, extra spicy please.” In retrospect that was at least one “extra” too many. But by the time we had dinner before the show, I forgot about lunch and slathered everything I ate with hot sauce, which I believe contributed to my need of a bathroom that undermined my plan to arrive at the Barclays Center by 7:30 so we could get through the security line before the show started at 8.

I had looked up the setlists from Chicago and Detroit and noted that they opened the show with a song called “Everyone”, which I thought was the one where they’re like “Everybaaaah-day! Rock your baaaah-day!”, which in my self-conferred Masters in Backstreetology seemed like the only appropriate opener so I really, really didn’t want the girls to miss it, which brought on a sustained castigation of why I prioritized capsaicin over keeping promises I’d silently (and inaccurately) made to my children. 

We got into the arena at about 8:12 and, hearing noise emanating from the stage, rushed up several flights of stairs to our seats. That’s when we learned that there was an opening act named Baylee Littrell (it wasn’t until the next morning that I learned he was Brian Littrell’s 16 year-old son). What we caught of his set assuaged whatever guilt I felt about what we missed, but I did appreciate that he played with actual bass, guitar and drums (plus keyboards, horns and back-up vocals that could not be seen onstage). We looked him up on Spotify to see how many plays his songs had gotten and determined that the one with more than 300,000 would be the closer. Do you know how many great bands would harm the elderly for 30,000 plays??? Fruit & Flowers only have two songs over 20k. Look ‘em up, they rule. Anyway, we were right. It was a song called Boxes and apparently the girl Baylee loves checks off all 22 of them. 

I have shadowy memories of watching the Backstreet Boys’ debut on Saturday Night Live with this perfectly synced dance involving chairs that they may or may not have stacked at one point during their number. At the time I was appalled by them, but proud of myself for being sophisticated enough to label their performance Fosse-esque. Harboring the incorrect assumptions that “Everyone” was the song I thought it was, and that their act had not evolved in the 20 years since I saw them on SNL, I tried to share in the excitement of the folks around me. Our neighbors were a very attractive young man and woman who kept apologizing when they passed us to get to the aisle. I tried not to eavesdrop but I did hear the young man extol his therapist to his friend (somehow it was clear they weren’t a couple). Just before the show started the young woman asked if I was the fan bringing my kids along or vice versa. I said it was mainly the kids but I was stoked too. She said that she and her friend had caught the band in Vegas and it was so amazing that they had to go again in Brooklyn and don’t mind her when she sang along to every lyric, even the new ones. Our conversation ended abruptly when the lights went down and she joined the collective “WHOO!” volleying stageward. 

As though in response, the stage started to open with almost unbearable slowness, suspense mounting as aperture expanded to maw, and I realized that I am unable to experience a reveal like that without hearkening back to one of the earliest and most vivid aural memories I have- the hinges creaking at the beginning of the Monster Mash. On angled video screens, band members appeared, one by one, in slow motion. The way they fingered their hat brim or rolled their shoulders made me laugh very hard. My neighbor to my left nodded approvingly, the kids to my right briefly emancipated themselves. Finally the tectonic shifting ended and there, on a platform so receded that I thought they should be called the Backstage Boys, were five guys who had been crushing it for 26 fucking years.

My neighbor said, “They can’t really dance anymore but they can still sing!”

“Everyone” is not the song I thought it was.

The first concert our kids ever attended was Los Lobos in Prospect Park. Our younger daughter was 10 months old and happy anywhere that had popsicles. Our older daughter was nearly 3 and for months she would ask to hear more Los Lobos. I don’t think she recognized anything from the concert, she just wanted to be reminded of the special experience of live, loud music and how happy it made the people around her (including her dad), and our living room stereo system was the best portal for that. Los Lobos’ most popular non-fucking-La Bamba-song is Cancion del Mariachi, coming in at 15,898,494 plays. Nothing else cracks a million. 

This was their first time seeing a bigtime pop act, and though they only knew about 5 of the 30 songs performed, they were rapt for the entire show. Except when the band talked to the audience, which they did in a sort of schematic where every member got his five-minute lovefest with the audience while the other guys changed outfits. They were all some variation on how much love they felt in the room (it was pretty palpable), how much gratitude they felt to the fans for the longevity of their career, and how pleased they were to be Number 1 yet again. Oh and that music was important too. I don’t mean to demean their commitment to music. All five of them can sing quite well, they harmonize together beautifully (even though I’m pretty sure vocal enhancements were employed without remorse) and you can’t sing the same song over and over again for more than 20 years without losing it unless the song is half-decent. But without getting too grumpy about it, I neither could nor wanted to suppress a flare of anger that so many serious musicians are poor while these cutie pies are all multi-millionaires. I don’t know what the ultimate size of the music market is, and it was hardly revelatory to note that these guys’ share was not in line with the quality of their musical production, but I felt like I had to take my own tiny stand, to stand up for musicians less slickly managed, artists less adept at navigating A&R social hierarchies, bands whose universality is not predicated on cultural touchstones manufactured by MTV. Obviously, nobody buys a concert ticket in the hope that they’ll get scolded at the show. Another thing people try to avoid at concerts is taking a dump. And so more acutely than ever, my self-righteousness was supplanted by regret for that extra extra.

I thought about asking my neighbors to watch the kids, and even to make the joke “And don’t let them vape!” but opted not to because I didn’t want to suggest that I had a problem with their vaping (such is my social density that I tuned out all of their apologia and was so grateful for their friendliness that I just wanted them to like me, never realizing that maybe, just maybe they might really want me to like them too). So I just told the kids to stay put and made my way to the can. And I daresay BSB fans are as nice in private as they are out in the arena. I base this conjecture on my bathroom experience where, unlike most concerts I attend, I was able to tend to my digestive needs without feeling like I had to contort myself to avoid somebody else’s excrement. It shouldn’t be surprising that more banal music begets more polite behavior, hell even Plato cautioned against exposing certain segments of society to more inflammatory musical scales. But maybe all that bougie antisepticism is just proof of how truly un-punk Mr. Stand-Taker really is.

Returned to the seats where the kids looked sleepy. I told them they shouldn’t feel any pressure to stay for the whole show, which looked like it was going to end after 11. They looked at me like I’d just told them I was donating their college fund to Trump 2020. 

One of them said, “Just because we’re not dancing and screaming doesn’t mean we aren’t having an amazing time, Dad.”

OK then.

So that song I got confused about is actually called “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back).” I pretended like I knew that the whole time and was pretty sure I got away with it. Then one of the girls said, “I thought you said they opened with this song.” And with no remorse whatsoever I said, “Yeah, that was in Florida.” Why I needed them to think I knew what I was talking about is almost a less interesting question than why I also lied about what states preceded New York on the DNA Worldwide Tour. 

There were more costume changes, more banter with adoring fans, more grinding reconfiguration of the stage, more neon mike stands shifting color in unison, something that probably seemed high tech in 1999, and more hits, at least four up-tempo numbers before they went into their big treacly ballad about which way they want it, which nobody can convince me isn’t about the supposed horrors of anal sex. Our neighbors checked and sure enough, both kids knew every word. A singalong ensued. Then I encouraged departure but the kids insisted on staying in case there was more. There was more. 

In fact, all five guys came out for what I guess was an encore wearing Nets jerseys. Knowing what a rabid Nets fan I am, both kids felt vindicated for insisting we stick around. And then they actually knew the second, and final song of the evening and were so exhilarated by the whole thing that they wanted to walk all the way home. But it was 11:15 and I’d been up since 4:30 and I was not above projecting my fatigue onto them so we took the subway one stop. We had gotten out quickly enough that the train was not packed with other BSBers or whatever their fans are called. And again, if we strip away the petty concern of my daughters’ happiness, was I glad we went to a Backstreet Boys Concert? Well, one kid said “That would have been awesome even if the band didn’t sing any songs. The lights were just so great!” So cool. I just spent the better part of a week’s pay on the magic of strobes that kept me up way past my bedtime. And two very happy daughters. And very pleasant interactions with attractive strangers. And a few moments of infectious beats and melodies. And the nicest shit I’ve ever taken at a concert. Would I do it again, even with smarter lunch ordering? Without hesitation.

By the way, this was written while listening to Face Stabber, the newest Thee Oh Sees album. It’s fucking awesome. They’re playing a club in a few weeks than can hold about 800 people.

#BSBNYC DNAWorldTour BackstreetBoys BackstreetArmy Brooklyn BrooklynParenting Parenting NavalGazing PopMusic

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-O episodes 31 & 32 - AGITO TIME

Okay, I want to know how long this actually takes me this time around, so… I’m starting playback at about a quarter past midnight. (I got distracted earlier, when I told myself I was going to start. I’m not good at timekeeping.)

((also, as I mentioned in the previous liveblog, if you comment on any of the sections in here, I’d really appreciate it if you specify which statements you’re talking about. These recaps get really long, so… y’know, it’ll make it a little easier for a conversation.))

~cut goes here~

Bullet casings? In MY Kamen Rider? It’s more likely than you think!

(I haven’t seen Agito, but as with Ryuki and Blade, I’ve seen the History Of’s that Marcosatsu did. So, I… should be okay? Ish.)

But why do they want G3 units nationwide? Are they finally sick of all the yearly monster attacks, and doing something about it? … Okay, yeah, I don’t believe it either, but hey, we can speculate!

Ouch, rest in piece G3 user number 2. He got thrown so hard he’s stuck in the viewing window.

Another!Another Agito’s got some muscle on him.

aaaand this is the tribute arc where the Another Rider name scheme is going to be incredibly problematic, like people worried.

I get that there are six watches left to acquire – notably including Drive, since the one they currently have was brought back by Geiz. But would it have killed Toei to let the W and Kuuga watches be in-show? Would it? They had to make them appear in the movie? Specifically, the movie that the producer has said is only psuedo-canon?! 

Six left, and Sougo doesn’t want them to become Oma Zi-O. He wants them so he can stop Oma Zi-O, so that he can match his power. But, you know, the team kind of lucked into finding them, what with the Another Riders being created… or… hm. They get the Ride Watches because of the Another Riders. The Time Jackers are the ones creating the Another Riders, and they’re from the future, and know full well how Zi-O acquires his watches. The thing is, they initially said it was to ‘find a new candidate for king.’ We know that that’s not nearly so true as Heure and Hora were led to believe, since Swartz already had his candidate chosen. And we were led to believe that said candidate was Hiryuu, Another Zi-O. Except! “I’ll see you on the Day of Oma” wasn’t… exactly said to Hiryuu, was it? And then, we saw that an earlier version of Swartz was responsible for the bus crash, as he was looking for A Boy Who Would Be King. He found Sougo.

Sougo has been his choice all along. 

(un-Pause to hear Woz talk!)

“No, no, we just need to continue as we’ve been doing. The watches will show up.” … Well, you’re not wrong.

Junichiro rushes in, asking if they were watching. And, I mean, I don’t know Japanese, but I am pretty sure that under normal circumstances, people don’t usually use the English verb ‘to watch’ when referring to a news broadcast.

Come on, man, you just won me over in the last few arcs, don’t blow this.

Wait, the public knows about the G3 units?! Were they common knowledge in Agito? Or, at least, publicly available knowledge?

HAHAHA I didn’t even NOTICE that Woz hadn’t done his Recap yet! Oh man, I’m slipping! But no, now he does it, by Pausing the show, and incidentally casting everyone else in the room in shadow. … Wait, has he been actually doing that the entire time? Just? Pausing time for a moment to talk at us? I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him, the drama hog that he is. Also, where did you get the confetti, sir? And is that going to be in the actual room when time resumes?

Meanwhile, in… France, I think. “I must go. My planet city needs me.”

It takes four minutes into the episode to reach the Opening. It took me almost 20 to reach that.

Also, the shot of Zi-O II has been replaced by Trinity. I like how the pose they chose is basically a combination of all three of their styles. As a small note, it flashes over the faces in the order of Zi-O, Geiz, and Woz, before moving into a full-body shot. Also, I can’t remember if this change had been made last episode or not, but there’s no sign of the Future Note in the Kamen Rider Woz segment anymore. (I think it would have been a nice touch to have the Twilight Chronicle replace it in the background, but oh well.)

… and I just remembered that with Agito’s lore, that ‘my planet needs me’ quote isn’t nearly as out of left field as I intended when I made it a few minutes ago.

Okay, I know that we have the incredibly ominous “We really don’t know what Swartz is up to” discussion with Heure and Hora, and him interrupting as he is prone to do, and him being all “No, I’ve already got a plan going, as I am prone to do.” But what I’m stuck on is just how many sugar cubes he’s adding to his… well, I don’t know if it’s tea or coffee, but it’s far too many.

(Swartz has just joined Haruto and Kiriya in the ‘that can no longer be called coffee’ club.)

Damnit, Geiz, I wanted to make a crack about how ‘it’s less that the police are tracking the target, and more that the target is tracking the police’! It does make sense that this particular division would be fighting Another Riders, though, especially since they look even more like MOTWs than Kino did. Zi-O!Another Agito kind of has a toothy grin, too. I remember being weirded out by Kino!Another Agito’s design when I watched Gorider, but this is just. Eesh. Creepy.

Ohhh dear. If Tsukuyomi’s an amnesiac, that would explain her lack of last name. And since this is a time travel show, we’re all screwed! She could have been anyone! ...That sequence in the opening, with Tsukuyomi and the Time Jackers on the stairs, before they disappear and she’s alone is feeling really ominous right about now.

And this is a good arc for this reveal – since Agito’s Shoichi was an amnesiac protagonist. … hang on, wasn’t there a sibling confusion then, too, like in W? With… Philip… oh dear.

I have avoided shipping in this season at all costs, for precisely this type of reason. And because it’s time travel, to avoid whatever it was that happened in Den-O. (I haven’t seen past the first two episodes of Den-O. I’m working on it!)

OKAY! That aside! I’ve noticed that even though Tsukuyomi has the tablet, and pulls up all sorts of information on it, Geiz is usually the one to bring up who the past Riders were. He knew about Wizard, I’m dead certain there were other instances that I can’t recall off the top of my head, and he knows who the G3 unit is.

Okay, I love that we finally have officials trying to keep untransformed riders out of the battle field. It’s about time, and not just for Zi-O, it’s been lacking in the genre as a whole. I also like that the people in G3 armor don’t seem to trust the three Riders.

HEY! HOLD UP! SOUGO HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE OMEGA SYMBOL IS?! I thought you were terrible at math and science! Those are pretty much the only place you’d see that, these days – wait. Sougo’s a history buff; or, at least, that’s his only good subject. Or, was his only good subject, because he’s graduated. (Good for him!!!) Omega is Greek, maybe he actually could have picked it up in a history class!

Also, is this confirmation that Agito is supposed to be written using omega, like it its logo?

Mind you, it’s not as though anyone is going to be actually doing that, but still.

JESUS FUCK WHAT THE HELL DID FAKE!ANOTHER AGITO JUST DO? He tore off the chest armor, and ugghgh that sounded like he was trying to eat the poor man, but now said man is getting up, what the hell-

AAAAAGHAAAAGH! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!

Agito powers as zombie plague.

Kino was Another Agito because Agito is more of a powerset than a name.

It is now 1:10. I am ten minutes into ep 31.

This explains the excessively toothy mouth, at least.

Tsukuyomi used a Time Stop. With the same effects and sounds as the Time Jackers. And it was super targeted, too – it only hit the Another Agito that was attacking her and the officer. She didn’t know she could do that. Woz didn’t know she could do that.

It looks like Swartz didn’t know she could do that.

It looks like the time stop is an innate power.

Okay, okay, back to 9-to-5.

So, yeah, everyone thinks the Another Agitos are really weird. Sougo wants to try and find Kamen Rider Agito. Absolutely nobody is surprised that he has no idea how to follow through on that idea. “What if we try the internet?” Sougo, he was active in 2001, internet archives are terrible for going back to 2011, to say nothing of – Sougo.

Sougo. Kid. Why do you know how to get auto-correct to make the omega symbol? Did you actually learn that for a history class? I mean, good catch on the spelling of the name, and it worked, so. Points? I guess?

Okay, why is Woz’s voice echoing so much today?! I thought the first time I noticed it was because they were outside, but it’s happening inside, too. What gives?

Heure, no. No ‘proving you’re still useful’ to Swartz. Get OUT of there! Just go! It’s not safe for you! You just keep raising death flags!

But what Swartz is most interested in right now… is testing Tsukuyomi’s new power.

Sougo immediately asks if Kamen Rider Agito is in. Like the blunt little fool he is. His second try isn’t much better. Being Geiz is suffering.

But when the woman – Mana, right? When Mana recognizes the name Agito as a person, Geiz takes notice. Remember, boys, everyone else still remembers now, too.

Haha, see, Shoichi has the right reaction to the ‘he wants to be a king’ speech! Dumbfounded shock.

GEIZ! Why are you suggesting heading ‘overseas’ with the Time Mazine to find Shoichi? That’s! That’s Sougo logic! Noooo don’t let that be what rubs off on you!

Case in point, Sougo thinks it’s a good idea!

UGH Both Swartz AND Woz have had that stupid echo all episode, it’s driving me up a wall. It makes it feel like the audio’s balance is off or something.

So, creeper mc-purple-coat wants to… ‘test out’ Tsukuyomi’s power. Fair. She says that it’s none of his business, and that she doesn’t have any power, which is also fair. But I’d say that siccing one of the Another Agitos on her is overkill. And terrifying.

...wait, could Shoichi tell when enemies were appearing in his season? I legitimately don’t know.

(16 minutes in and 1 hour fifteen minutes later)

Okay, so, your choices here, boys.

Zi-O II. Good call, powerful, can read movements ahead of time.

Quiz. VERY good call. His powerset ‘asks’ the opponent to answer questions, or get electrocuted. Normally, I’m decidedly not okay with that, but from a tactical point, right now it makes sense. The rampaging Another Agitos are like, well, they’re Fast Zombies. They can’t answer questions.

BUT STOP USING REVIVE. I get why Typhoon is a good choice tactically. Like I said, FAST Zombies. Being even faster is a good survival strategy. But using REVIVE is a very BAD survival strategy.

Kudos for the touch of Sougo telling the cops to help their wounded – which they notably weren’t doing before he said that.

HI SPEAKING OF BAD CALLS! IN THIS CASE TRINITY IS A BAD IDEA!

Like Geiz says, you need NUMBERS.

Running Decade and Ex-aid would be a better choice right about now! That would give you two Zi-Os! ...and if Geiz gets Ghost, he can summon some of the parka ghosts to help, because they let THAT be a thing for the Ghost watch!

WOZ NO. You don’t need to IWAE this! This is now a no REJOICE zone! Go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

Although, now the cops are evacuating the heck out of there while Woz distracts the Agitos with his absurdity.

Unfortunately, he’s also distracting Sougo and Geiz with said absurdity.

Quick! Back to sanity! Tsukuyomi! We need you to be the impulse control for all three of the boys now! I’m so sorry, we kept Woz contained as long as possible, but this much proximity to Sougo at one clip has spread the cloud cuckoo lander traits.

“Oh, you don’t remember anything? Well, you’re probably better off not knowing, I suppose.” (F you too, Swartz.)

“Do… you know something?”

~The sound of a Legend Rider’s belt approaches from the shadows~

Kamen Rider Agito is on the scene.

And Swartz is smiling at that.

THAT! Is NOT how Bike Fu works!

OH LORDY the Power Knuckle buzzsaw and the spear’s… well, spear projections can combine into a massive, even pointier circular saw blade! Trinity really IS a fusion form, isn’t it?

“...wait, where’d the others go?”

It was! A distraction! And a very good one!

It is now 1:50. I’ve been at this for… one hour, 35 minutes. I’ve watched one episode.

Oh boy.

…

Time for ep 32!

Yooooo! Okay! So! Heure and Hora are stepping in because Swartz was ‘dragging his feet’, they weren’t invited, because he’s an ass. But Heure! Just! Pulled the Another Watch out of one of the transformed Agitos – not the main one, mind you, he’s ticked off now – and! He! Pushed it to Rider Agito, drained his power, and turned! The Another Watch! Into a real Ride Watch!

!!!!

Tsukuyomi stopped time to save Shoichi from Another!Another Agito… which is great! Good work! Except that it’s SUPER POWERFUL. She can move, but everyone else is completely frozen. COMPLETELY. ...Everyone but Swartz, who’s eyes are moving.

(click) AS IT IS WRITTEN HERE!

(GDI Woz)

(and with a SPOTLIGHT, too!)

(Theatre kid Woz confirmed)

Woz, you’re incredibly proud of Sougo for graduating, aren’t you? You mentioned that last Recap, too!

(insert 20 minute gap to take care of the dishes here, resuming at 2:20)

Huh! The title card came in from the opposite side of the screen this time! Interesting!

Heure, you can’t just put a regular Ride Watch into an Another Rider, That can’t be good for the poor host. And, oh, no, look at that, he’s just turned into a duplicate of Kamen Rider Agito. An exact duplicate. Appearance-wise, anyway.

WELP.

Okay, I rag on him, but Junichiro’s reaction to Professional Chef Shoichi complementing his cooking is great.

And then right back to serious, as soon as he leaves the room.

“I’m sorry… they took my Rider powers from me.”

“Which is really weird, since those are literally part of me. Trust me, things were weird in the early ‘00’s, kid. A whole bunch of us wound up being not entirely human.”

Hora? Hang on, can you clarify that? “Does that mean she’s a Time Jacker too?”

Are. Are you saying that being a ‘Time Jacker’ isn’t a group affiliation? That it’s the name of a powerset?!

… Just like how ‘Agito’ is?

Okay, so the current active party layout is:

Team One: Sougo and Geiz, dealing with a swarm of Another Agitos, while Heure and Another Agito Prime watch.

‘Team’ Two: Woz confronting Swartz about Tsukuyomi’s powers. Apparently Swartz is ‘the only one’ who can grant powers over time, which implies that he gave them to Heure and Hora. But he didn’t give them to Tsukuyomi, and he implies himself that the two of them are ‘cut from the same cloth’. Woz knows what that means.

Team Three: Shoichi goes to talk to Tsukuyomi. He’s the resident voice of experience on finding out you’re not who you thought you were, after all.

Well, him, Philip, and Sento, but the other two aren’t exactly here at the moment.

So, yes, as I thought he’d do, after bringing Tsukuyomi to the restaurant, he tells her about his past. About how Shoichi Tsugami isn’t technically his name. About how he tried to live his life the best he could, after losing who he was, and finding out he had powers. It worked out for him. And after all, hasn’t she already been doing that? The power is just a little more than she knew about.

And right after he says “Haven’t you already been doing that”, guess what starts playing?

The instrumental version of ‘King of Time.’

...Huh. It’s more noticeable with Geiz, who’s usually either frowning or exasperated. But… we never see Tsukuyomi smile, either, do we?

And then, with Sougo…

“I’m fighting to make the world better, and that’s what you’re doing too, right? So, does it really matter who you used to be?”

She responds with a smile. It’s a good look for her.

And of course, Woz shows up with bad news.

“So, fighting Agito’s a BAD idea, because once there’s one Agito, there can be countless Another Agitos. We are going to be overwhelmed. This is literally straight from Swartz. We’re screwed.”

“You better not be playing double agent agai-”

“Well, I mean, I already saw that was going to happen, so…. Besides, we don’t really have a choice in the matter, since we need to get that watch.”

““...fine...””

((It’s about 2:50 now, so I’m at… a little over two hours.))

Stop! Using! Revive! Unless you guys worked out how to keep it’s time compression from literally killing you a little more with each use, you! Need! To! Not! Use! That!

Unfortunately, Fury and Kikai make perfect sense here – the brute strength should help keep you two from getting too injured.

AAAND then they go for Typhoon and Shinobi for a speed-off. BOYS! Stop it! Although, I will admit, the flight and teleport spamming is pretty cool when you’re not using it on each other.

AHAHAH! Shoichi’s playing distraction in a G3 suit! That makes a LOT of sense! He can’t fight in his usual manner right now – on account of his powers being otherwise occupied. But the G3 suits were meant for humans to fight monsters on a more level playing field. AND the Another Agitos had been going after police facilities… which they haven’t mentioned again, but it sure seems to be drawing attention to him.

Tsukuyomi’s already got really good control, hasn’t she? The first time, she froze only the one Another Agito, and nothing else in the area. The second, she panicked, and was able to stop literally everything. Well, again, Swartz was slightly moving. Slightly. This time, it’s four Another Agitos, but Shoichi, who was right in the middle of them, is unaffected.

One direct hit from Zi-O II was able to knock the Ride Watch out of Another Agito Prime, and it rolled right to it’s proper owner. And for the first time, we get to see a Rider regaining their powers – the Ride Watch fades from existence, and Shoichi’s belt reappears on his waist.

“Transform!”

And then a (largely reluctant) transformation into Trinity. Geiz has had it up to here with Woz’s Announcements. You don’t have to do them every time, you know. You used to only make those when a new power was achieved. You guys have done this twice already.

(Tsukuyomi is in hell. That’s the only explanation she can think of.)

I like that ripple effect they used for Agito’s own Trinity transformation. I don’t know what sort of effects they used in 2001/2002, but it’s nice to see a nod to older FX in this incredibly flashy show.

(Tsukuyomi is definitely in hell. That’s the only explanation she can think of.)

Woz just has to do a proclamation. I don’t think it’s even part of his contract, I think he’s just THAT into this sort of thing. He was BORN to be a herald. Problem for HIM is, even Sougo’s had enough.

But!

He thinks this might work.

~Old catchphrases reappearing is actually my jam!~

~Who knew?~

...okay, everyone who’s been following me through this liveblog for the past… six months that I’ve been doing liveblogs for. Oh. Huh. I. Genuinely hadn’t realized it had been that long. I started doing these full reactions with the Gaim arc in November. Hm.

!

!!

!!!!

!!!!!!!!

Over-Time included LYRIC SUBTITLES!

Zi-O! Why! Why can’t you put the song credits in the credits!

I mean, that would have been an INCREDIBLE spoiler in this case! But! Holy shit!

It would be a huge spoiler because this isn’t one of Zi-O’s songs.

This is from Agito. It’s titled BELIEVE YOURSELF.

This is appropriate.

The Zi-O team hasn’t had a real chance to fight alongside their predecessors. Not really. Zi-O and Geiz fought ‘with’ Build and Cross-Z, but they had to bow out shortly through the fight. Same with Ex-Aid. Ghost and Specter only fought together, not with the boys. Quiz and Kikai don’t count – they debuted in Zi-O. They fought AGAINST Decade and DiEnd. The next people to transform… were Blade and Chalice, and they weren’t working together. Their powers were taken before they could have fought as a team.

This? A fight with the Kamen Rider having his powers intact? Not just intact, actually, but returned? And not rapidly disappearing?

This is what we WANTED. I mean, hell, this is what the SHT movies SHOULD have been.

And the choice of song is incredibly fitting, too. I mean, here. Here’s the page on the KR Wiki. Go check it out, and you just try to tell me that’s not appropriate for Zi-O as a whole, but especially for the events lately, and of this arc.

Okay, okay, back to the battle. Which is glorious.

For one, Zi-O using one of the Agito Drones to hold part of his sword while he removes the mask element from it, so he can attach said mask to the other sword, and combining the two while the drone is still slightly impaled? That’s CLEVER. And I’m pretty sure that’s Sougo at work, too – he’s done similar before, getting others to turn his belt and complete his transformation. And the Kings Slash grows and impales several more drones before he swings.

And, interestingly, when Trinity and Agito prepare their finishers? Another Agito Prime forces his way through the drones to be the one to take the hit – to the point of standing directly in front of the two Rider Kicks, and putting his chest out there. Asking to be hit.

And that Dual Kick is SOMETHING ELSE! Driving him all the way across the plaza, knocking over any drones they encounter in the line of ‘fire’, and digging a trench into the ground! THIS is a fight scene!

Yet another entrusting of the watch.

Tsukuyomi has found her resolve.

Woz has found a secret.

And next episode –

Wait a minute.

(checks the calendar)

VERY nice.

Sougo’s birthday episode? Airs on his birthday. Nice planning, Toei! And you checked a calendar correctly this time!

(But you couldn’t be bothered to check the year when you set Kazumin’s phone, could you?)

Also, it looks like they might be aiming a little closer to the first part of Hibiki for the tribute arc, with the kanji appearing on screen in the preview.

((so, it’s now… 3:45, so I wound up taking… let’s see. Started at 12:15, so a complete time would be three and a half hours, but there was that twenty minute gap when I went from 31 to 32, so… about three hours and ten minutes to watch 40 minutes of a children’s Sunday morning superhero show.))

((WORTH IT.))

#kamen rider zi o #kamen rider agito #sailorcressy says #when did i start noticing musical cues so often? #i genuinely don't know #but oh man OT included the lyrics this time YES

[pyropsychiccollector]

What-If #01, Scene #03

Premise: Zeref and Natsu aren’t born 400 years prior to the series; instead, they’re born in X763 and X766 respectively, and their family eventually settles around the area of Isvan. Circumstances make the brothers orphans, but Ur Milkovich takes them in, and so Ultear gains siblings… and becomes the middle child. Lovely.

Scene’s Point in Time: X777

~.~

Zeref: So... This is a Wizard Guild. *he and his siblings are standing outside Fairy Tail with Makarov, with a scarce few belongings on their backs*

Makarov: Yup. It's called Fairy Tail.

Natsu: That's a weird name...

Makarov: Well, nobody knows whether or not fairies have tails, or if they even exist! So it'll forever be a mystery. Unless we try to find out, which could become an amazing adventure. And our members are the ones who want to find out.

Ultear: Sounds cheesy. *Zeref lightly flicks her on the forehead* OW!

Natsu: Well, I don't get it... But it sounds awesome! ^__^

Zeref: *soft smile* You may be right, Natsu.

Ultear: *massaging her temple* You always take his side... *grumble grumble*

Natsu: Yeah! 'Cause I'm awesome! :D

Zeref: *raises an amused eyebrow at Ultear* 'Always', huh? So I just imagined myself helping you in keeping Natsu and Gray from burning down that hotel we stayed at a while back.

Ultear: That's just common sense, and you know it! -_-*

Makarov: [Heh. These kids will fit right in...]

~.~

Silver: So, you guys came out here after all.

Zeref: *faint smile* Ur took up the position of Wizard Saint with the promise that we would. I'm sure you recall how dangerous the area was getting.

Silver: *laughs* Yeah, Isvan wasn't for the faint of heart to begin with. Glad we got out when we did, and that you guys did, too. I know you guys can handle yourselves, but I still say Isvan's no place for kids. Gray tries to hide it, but he was worried about you three. *he, Zeref, and Ultear watch as the aforementioned boy starts to brawl with Natsu*

Ultear: Yes, well... Now mother is handling it. She... *pauses as a redhead spontaneously breaks up the fight between Natsu and Gray, shoving them both in the face, away from one another, Inexplicably, to her anyway, Ultear begins twitching* ... Who's the Ironing Board?

Zeref: *lets out a barely perceptible amused snort*

Silver: Ah, I was waiting for Erza to lose her patience. She's only been here a year, but she's really left her mark. You're better off not inciting her wrath 'til you get stronger.

Zeref: ... *watches with an amused grin as Ultear stomps over to the scarlet knight, after the new acquaintance threw both their Natsu and Gray into the wall, leaving craters from the brute force involved* Oh, I don't think Ultear has anything to worry about.

Silver: *raised brow in curiosity* Gotten stronger in the last two years, have you?

Zeref: *shrugs nonchalantly* We had to, in order to stay safe in Isvan. I can't vouch for the strength of this 'Erza', but if Ultear can't at least stay about even with her, I'll be surprised. Natsu... should get some more training in, but he isn't weak by any means.

Silver: *laughs boisterously again* So those two are about the same in terms of pecking order. *playfully smirks at the raven-haired boy* What about you? Last I checked, you were trailing behind those two, despite hitting the books.

Zeref: *smirks right back, but then turns back to Ultear and Erza, who are still engaged in a shouting match* ... I am... adequate.

Silver: *rolls his eyes* That attitude of yours always irritated me. It seems more deceptive than actual humility... But at the same time, you really don't take pride in what you can do.

Zeref: ... I wouldn't go that far. I can protect Natsu and Ultear - that is good enough for me.

Makarov: That's an honorable mindset to have, lad. *grins as he got both Silver and Zeref to jump at his sudden appearance next to them*

Silver: M-Master... Didn't see you there. *rubs the back of his head as the elderly Dreyar chuckles*

Makarov: Well, Zeref here hasn't done much as of yet, so I wanted to take some time to get to know the lad. I'm especially curious about something Miss Milkovich wrote about in that letter you gave me.

Zeref: ...

Silver: Oh? Something we should be worried about?

Makarov: Not exactly... Though I'm certain the Council, if they knew about it, would want you to believe that, just so that they could get their hands on Zeref here. It's related to something he did about a year ago, to protect his siblings... Would you like to join us in my office, Silver?

Silver: *lazily eyes the still squabbling girls before shrugging*  Eh. Why not? Kinda curious why the Council would be keenly interested in Zeref.

~.~

*about ten minutes later...*

Silver: ... Lemme get this straight. You created a... protector for Natsu and Ultear? Just like that? *clearly baffled*

Zeref: It was nowhere near as simple as you're probably thinking... But yes. In response to a crisis that nearly killed Natsu and Ultear, I was somehow able to manipulate the concentrated Ethernano Particles in the air and create a... protector. I was desperate at the time. There was no physical way I alone could have saved the both of them. One of them most certainly would have died. To this day, I am still looking into how I accomplished this, though I do not want to repeat the process until I know more about this... ability of mine.

Makarov: *hums thoughtfully* An ignorant person might call you a monster for messing with nature. I find myself a bit wary, but I cannot deny your heart was in the right place. I can't blame you for being cautious in your curiosity.

Silver: So what happened to that protector? Did it just fade away?

Zeref: ... *reaches into his cloak and takes out a book with an intricate design on the cover* This is him. I know it's strange, but in response to some concerns of mine, he was somehow compressed into the form of this book. As far as I'm aware, he is completely loyal to me, and has vigilantly kept an eye on Natsu and Ultear when I cannot.

Makarov: *gingerly accepts the book from him and sets it on his desk, not daring to open it yet* And you've yet to fully uncover what he can do?

Zeref: He was quite fatigued after beating back the beast that had Ultear cornered, but he seems capable of drawing on more Ethernano from the air to recover, though it takes time.

Silver: And he uses... Magic? Just like us?

Zeref: That indeed seems to be the case. It's why he was fatigued during his first battle; being made of pure Ethernano, his attacks draw from his own life force. I imagine he can fade away if he's not too careful. Though, of course... he seems quite willing to die, if it means serving me. I find myself baffled at such loyalty, though I offer the same as a courtesy.

Silver: ... First battle? You mean he's fought since then?

Zeref: A handful of times, yes. As I said, he is vigilant in protecting my family. Similar to how we grow, however, he seems to be growing more powerful, as well. It's why I refuse to duplicate the process, because I don't know the extent of his capabilities, nor do I know what will happen if he becomes 'too' powerful.

Makarov: *rubs his chin thoughtfully* But you say he is completely loyal to you.

Zeref: Yes. There is no question there. Down to the genetic level, it seems as if his sole purpose is to serve me. There's not a lot of free will in him, save for doing whatever it takes to protect what is precious to me. *soft smile* I imagine he's going to be working overtime in ensuring Fairy Tail is protected...

Makarov: Hmm. *slides the book back over to Zeref* Well, until he becomes a threat to our Guild, I will allow you to continue to call upon him. It's human nature to fear the unknown, but you evidently trust him, at least to an extent. *grins as Zeref returns the book to his cloak* I think anyone or anything should be given the benefit of the doubt. It's never good to start off with animosity; that will just encourage animosity from him, and a vicious cycle will begin. For now, just allow him to protect your family. In time, perhaps he will come to accept Fairy Tail as an extension of that.

Zeref: *nods in understanding*

Silver: *rubs his chin* So does this guy have a name? Or are we just supposed to refer to him as 'he' or 'thing'?

Zeref: *smiles wryly* I gave him the name Mard Geer. I don't think of him as a weapon, but it is because of him that I can protect Natsu and Ultear at all times. For that, I am grateful.

~.~

Notes: Hah. I didn't think I'd be addressing the Etherious this soon, let alone FT. I just felt like writing 'em both out. Since these are scenes, I figure I don't have to go the chronological route if my muse gets stumped. Be sure to keep an eye on the 'Point-in-Time', 'cause you might get confused otherwise with the jumping around we might do.

Did you like Silver popping up? I figured I'd cut the guy a break and let him live. ^__^ Same with his wife, of course.

One last thing on the Etherious in general - I made sure to do my research before writing this out. I'll grant you that it's possible Zeref was only able to create the Etherious because of Ankhseram's Curse, but considering they're made from Ethernano Particles (something that is in ABUNDANCE in this point of the FT series timeline), and Zeref's canonically a prodigy in grasping the fundamentals of Magic, down to the genetic level, I took some liberties here. Zeref isn't quite that know-it-all yet, but I figured I'd throw him a bone and have him do at least one amazing thing, even this early in life. He quite likely WON'T create all the Etherious he did in canon, but I think I have at least three in mind he could create as 'protectors' of his family, counting Mard Geer. That means you might see two more familiar faces in coming scenes, but drastically different in personality because they haven't tapped into their Curse Power yet, if ever. I just think it'd be very interesting to consider what Mard Geer, or Sayla, or any of the other 'Demons' would've been like if they hadn't spammed their Curses. They might not have been that bad all-around, especially if they're serving a not-nutty Zeref here. That's just my writer's interpretation; I'm a fanfiction writer. It's kinda my job to simply 'interpret'. Besides which, I'm NOT gonna think out all the details for this AU. This WILL be a hobby piece. lol I've got an antagonist in mind now, aaand maybe a threat to fill the void left behind by Zeref/Tartaros/Demons/etc. Y'know, a threat in conjunction with Acnologia. 'Cause Acnologia is beast, but not quite tantalizing enough on his own. Gotta build up to him. XD

#fairy tail #zeref dragneel #natsu dragneel #ultear milkovich #makarov dreyar #silver fullbuster

[panpanpanini]

Thoughts on MLP The Movie: Unpopular Opinion Edition

(I made a small post about this a few weeks ago, closer to when the movie premiered, but now that the hype has kind of fizzled out I thought I’d take the time to fuss more in-depth.)

So... I really thought the MLP movie was bad.  Terrible.  I had sooo many problems with it, so where do I start?

Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD!! 

My two biggest complaints are:

1) The movie didn’t hold up in terms of quality-- nevermind MLP expectations, it was just a bad movie in general.

2) Target demographic was noticeably shifted (downwards), especially when compared to the show.

Let me start by saying I’m not at all notorious even among friends for being this grouchy, self-elevated, overreaching entertainment critic/analyst.  I can enjoy most things at face value, ie. MLP.  I despise fanaticism (not fandom, fanaticism), and I’m long past the mindset that if I like something, I have to be blindly uncritical of it.  

Please also note that I have not read the movie prequels or supporting media, and I went into this movie with only limited knowledge of those materials.

*deep breath*

(1) So, starting from the top: “It was just a bad movie in general.”

Visually, the movie barely held up for me.  Anyone who’s even had a basic flash animation class knows about this thing called ‘motion tweening:’ it’s an optimized process for creating movement, with which you can set a path for objects to move and deform as opposed to painstakingly animating each frame one by one.  It’s a much quicker process, but the (immediate) result often looks way more mechanical than its traditional counterpart and can often come off as... soulless, or even lazy.  It was unbelievably easy to notice this throughout the movie and it was a huge distraction for me.

You can more easily see what I’m talking about here.

As a side note, I was never really on board with the ToonBoom style from the get-go; I eventually got used to it, but I was never able to totally immerse myself in it-- the whole tweening thing just cemented my dislike for it.  

Continuing my comments on style, the new character designs were interesting, but... so many of them felt too disconnected from established MLP universe conventions.   In fact, the only ones I could only get on board with were the hippogriffs (with a preference towards their seapony forms).  My biggest problem with them has to lay in the fact that nearly all of the new characters-- background and supporting-- were bipedal, when in-show nearly every new race introduced has been on all fours like our titular ponies... and to add insult to injury, so many of them had hands!  Their designs just felt too distant for me to connect that they live in the same world as our pony heroes.  

Note: I realize most of these creatures inhabit lands self-defined by Celestia to be ‘beyond Equestria,’ but that doesn’t dismiss that they still felt like they belonged in a movie not prefaced with ponies.

(Tempest is a little different.  She was visually darker than most ponies than we’re used to seeing, and to the surprise of nobody the poster child for edgy pony OCs, complete with the perfect voice.  Unfortunately, her intimidating demeanor was sometimes too much for me, as it’s much more *effectively* threatening than what we’re used to seeing in-show-- the closest being the Shadow Pony in the S7 finale.)

On a more positive note, I really enjoyed the new environments.  Just the fact that we had new locations to begin with was endearing already, but unlike a lot of the other stuff (see above) they were on par with what I was expecting from MLP on the big screen.  I seriously think the environments had more character/place in the MLP universe than most of the (we’ll call them NPCs) NPCs that occupied them.

Speaking of character, I can forego most of what I’ve talked about above in lieu of a good story (spoilers: the story wasn’t even all that fresh, it was predictable and full of classic kid’s movies tropes).  What I can’t ignore is blatant out-of-character writing.

“But Salt Mom, if you hate out-of-character writing, why are you still watching the show post-season five?” -Most Starlight Glimmer Opposition

As I mentioned at the start, I still enjoy the show at face value.  We’re seven seasons in; our beloved ponies have seen some noticeable character development over the years, which is what some people (perhaps those ruled by nostalgia for the earlier feel of the show) like to label ‘out-of-character writing.’  But the changes are justified by their development, which is why I don’t see it that way.  The movie, however, seems to completely forego character development and reduces them to (at times, vapid) caricatures of themselves and the out of character writing is now completely obvious to someone like me who doesn’t typically enjoy ponies through heavy analysis.  

Pinkie was by far the most glaring.  Pinkie is already one of my least favorite ponies, so maybe I’m biased here, but she was for the most part written as comic relief.  She wasn’t a pony Grubber-- she did play the part of ‘voice of reason’ in the climax with Twilight-- but she had an irritating tendency to completely downplay the seriousness of their situation, as they all did (she was just the most obvious, second being tied between Dash and Rarity).  Since when have they all been so naive?  Except for Twilight, all our heroes had minimal speaking roles (and even more damning, speaking roles with substance), most notably Fluttershy.   

Other problems included the princesses (once again) being victims of weak writing-- they’ve been proven to be capable of putting up more of a fight than we were shown, jeez!-- for the sake of putting the Mane 6 in the spotlight, probably something some people would call ‘forced progression’ (related: bad pacing).  

... Which leads into the movie’s general issue with logic.  

OH BOY.  I had so many issues with the movie logic.  As mentioned before... the ponies’ general naivety, their blatant disregard for the grim nature of their situation...  Capper betrays them, doesn’t explain his reasons, doesn’t get a proper chance to apologize, and our ponies are totally cool with him by the falling action sequence of the movie?  Celaeno’s crew (and similarly, the seaponies) is swayed into changing allegiances with a simple, three-minute song?  The Mane 6 add six or so characters to their posse and suddenly it’s possible to take back Canterlot, after being overwhelmed so easily in the beginning, when the princesses weren’t yet turned to stone?  Really?  How could Tempest-- a pony who comes off as smarter than the rest-- be so desperate to have her horn back that she couldn’t foresee the Storm King’s betrayal?   

*angry flailing motions*

In summary: the animation was mechanical, character designs suffered from a serious disconnect with established MLP canon, and everything from logic to pacing to character behavior suffered from bad, trope-y writing.

---

(2) “The movie demographic was shifted noticeably.”

(A lot of what I’ve addressed above can also be applied to this section of grievances.)

Very few times have I watched anything in general and walked away feeling like a real dumbass.  This was one of those times.  Everything from the humor, the songs, the logic (see above)... it all came together to make me feel dumbed down and like a huge moron for even buying a ticket.  Overall, it was extremely apparent to me that they’d knocked the target demographic down a few years, and that the movie was made with younger kids-- rather than families as a whole-- in mind.  

The brand of ‘humor’ (I use that term loosely) employed by the movie has to be the cringiest one in the book.  It was clear that it was the most vanilla one they could have gotten away with and I found myself rolling my eyes a lot because honestly, none of it was funny at all.  Grubber was purely on the screen for comic relief (we literally don’t see him again after the finale); Pinkie’s naivety was obviously supposed to be funny, as were Rarity’s trademark dramaticisms-- They got close sometimes to pulling a laugh, but then it just... fell short and wound up feeling more pathetic and forced than anything.  Was it even humorous to the kids? 

I laughed literally once during the entire movie, and that was at a very transparent marketing joke (perhaps not deliberate) made towards the beginning, after the Mane 6 fall from Canterlot and band together to decide how to proceed.  They end up saying something to the effect of “hungry, hungry, hippos” as they’re brainstorming and I chuckled because... Hungry Hungry Hippos is also a Hasbro property. 

I thought I might be able to find solace in some of the songs-- I’d heard SIA’s contribution in the days leading up to the movie and thoughts it was a decent tune-- but alas... They turned out to be completely vapid, with the sole exception of Tempest’s song.  Compared to the extensive library of songs we’ve gotten in the show, the lyrics and melodies we got in the movie were neither clever nor catchy (I recall thinking that rhyming schemes were nearly non-existent) and I found myself waiting with bated breath until they were over.  “Time to be awesome?”  Blegh.  Completely forgettable.

IDK.  Maybe I need to see the movie again to confirm my position with it; after all, I had already decided I didn’t really like it before the end of the first act.  For the better part of a year I couldn’t get away from the hype surrounding MLP The Movie, but when I finally saw it it didn’t deliver on the same level and ended up being a huge let-down.  It was lacking in a lot of things standard to its TV-counterpart, including what makes the in-show universe so appealing (lore, memorable songs, and magic), and if they end up putting out a sequel I hope it can bounce back in the same way EQG2 built on the shortcomings of its predecessor.  

That’s all I’ve got.  If you’ve managed to get this far, thanks for reading.  ✌

(Bonus) Things I would have liked to see: an entire pirate fleet (instead of a single crew); more Capper and time spent in Klugetown; more Storm King and the land he comes from; the hippogriffs actually doing something (isn’t Queen Novo supposed to be friends with Celestia?) to contribute to the finale, even if it was them swooping in just before the final fight.

#mlp #mlp the movie #thoughts #unpopular opinion #review