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human-encounters-diary · 9 months

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Day 15

We are set to arrive on Fendaar in two cycles. As we are currently stuck on the SIIR Noxos, I have concluded that the passages of time that I am free of duties would be best spent continuing to observe the human. The human, on the other hand, seemed to have different plans in that matter, as it took me an unusually long amount of time to locate her.

As I eventually found her, she seemed to be working on one of the control panels in the main control room, so I may excuse her absence with duties she had to attend to. As she saw me, although, she seemed rather…excited (this is obviously mere speculation, as the study of the Terran so far has provided far too little evidence to prove such theories)?

As she rolled out from under the control board and sighted me, her face once again split into a wide opening revealing her horrifying amount of teeth.

"Hey! Dude!", she said, raising to her full height and stepping towards me, still baring her teeth, although I did not recoil, as I did not want to seem impolite. She raised her arms, each pointing into a different direction, away from their connection to the human's body.

"Human Quinn. How are you?"

"Me? I‘m fine, the whole 'wandering around in space' thing just made me throw up, I honestly don‘t know why they insisted on keeping me there for two whole days."

The ends of her fingers, studded with claw-like (rather short and rounded instead of sharp, perhaps they were not meant to function as claws at all, or perhaps the beings on Terra were far different from what I knew, and therefore a shape like this was far more useful to hunt) protuberances, scraped over the back of the connection between her head and her upper body. If I interpreted her facial expression correctly, she seemed to be thinking.

"Maybe I got a light concussion too, I’m not entirely sure. But it's improbable, because I’m fine now."

I decided to focus on one piece of information at a time. "Well, this "throwing up" can certainly not be a healthy nor normal process, otherwise, it would not seem so violently painful and involuntary, would it?"

"Well it‘s not…unnatural, it‘s just something that can happen. And about health, it‘s not unhealthy, it usually helps us to get rid of stuff that is bad for our bodies!", she eludicated, moving one of her arms in a rather random manner.

"The scientists have concluded that this fluid is highly acidic. If this 'stuff' is so harmful to you, wouldn‘t it just dissolve in this fluid before being able to cause any further harm?"

Quinn seemed to think about that.

"Well, just because it gets dissolved, doesn‘t mean it‘s gone, you know? It's still in our bodies, and we have to get rid of it somehow. And if it needs to be fast, we throw up. Honestly, I‘d definitely explain this further to you, but Biology‘s never really been my strongest subject, ya know what I mean?"

I did not, in fact, know what she meant, but I decided against questioning her further.

After a pause the Terran spoke up again: "So, this planet we're landing on..." "Fendaar.", I clarified. "Right. So, this planet that we‘re going to, it‘s a desert, right?" "That is correct." "So, is it a sand, an ice or, I guess you could also count rock desert? 'Cuz on my planet, we‘ve got all of those types."

"Fendaar‘s ecosystem is mostly made up out of sandlike landscapes with rather scarce vegetation and biodiversity. Most of the planets in system 36-54 have rather extreme temperature ranges, and Fendaar is no exception.", I eludicated.

"Alright, cool.", she spoke, rolling back under the underside of the control panel she had been working on previously. She seemed to be sitting, or rather lying, on a piece of metal with four small wheels attached to it, allowing her to move it around.

"Your planet.", I initiated.

"Yeah?", she responded, while continuing her work on the wiring.

"Am I assuming correctly that your planet has a far bigger biodiversity?"

"Oh, yeah.", there was a small spring in her voice, as if she had let out air in the middle of speaking. "Big biodiversity. We‘ve got deserts and rainforests, coral reefs and permafrost - although perhaps not for that long anymore - mountain ranges and all that stuff."

"Interesting.", I supplied, for lack of a better response. If Terra had such differences in temperature and landscapes, it was a logical conclusion that the humans had evolved to survive under such circumstances.

"Yeah."

It was unusually quiet for some time. That was, until Quinn rolled out from the underside of the control panels.

"Alright, I‘m done." She took a deep breath before opening her mouth once again. Then, all of a sudden, the muscles of her face started contracting as if she was plagued by an invisible pain. Her eyes squeezed shut and she let out horrifying noise, holding an arm angled in front of her nose and mouth. The noise itself was not particularly loud or long, but I recoiled either way, as a measure of safety. I could not be certain if this gesture was meant to harm me, after all.

Quinn‘s arm sank down again as her other hand rubbed at her nose. She huffed, a sound far less threatening than the one she had produced a moment ago. One of the hair patches above her visual organs raised itself, prompting the question to arise if human hair was controlled by muscles or if it had a mind of its own, although this was a question that could be further investigated later. One of the corners of her mouth raised, revealing the seemingly sharpest teeth in her mouth.

"I guess dust is an inter-galactic thing, huh?"

I did not respond. Her face muscles contracted, causing the skin above her visual organs to crease.

"Hey, you okay? You‘re looking a little spooked over there."

"Human, I do not wish to cause you discomfort, but, if I may ask, what was the purpose of the noise you just uttered?"

She did not respond for a moment, blinking with both of her eyes as she stared at me. It was quite unsettling, considering her previous explanation, that most humans preferred not being stared at.

"I…sneezed?" The creases in the skin above her eyes deepened.

My front pliers uttered another rattling sound. "What is this 'sneezing'? What purpose does it serve?" I admit, I was quite curious. Terrans seemed much more complex than I had previously assumed.

She paused, seemingly to think of an answer. "Well, it‘s like…if something is bothering us at or in out nose, like dust, for example, it‘s kind of the natural response to that. To keep things out of our bodies that don‘t belong there."

"Human bodies seem to require a lot of defense mechanisms.", I commented.

She raised and lowered the connection of her arms to her upper body, baring her teeth once again while raising herself to her full height, using one of her arms as support.

"Y’know, it’s surprisingly hard to explain something you’re so used to to someone who’s never heard of it. I guess I still have to work on the whole 'awareness that I‘m around aliens' thing. S‘ kind of surreal."

She patted off her clothing, as if to remove non-existent filth once again. I had noticed the past few cycles that most of her clothing seemed to consist of several, usually differently-coloured, pieces of fabric.

Her clothes usually covered her body from the connection between her arms and torso to the connection between her legs and, presumably, her feet. Her feet were usually also covered, although I could not determine the purpose it was supposed to serve in the environment we are currently in, although the theory that the conditions on Earth are vastly different compared to the ones on the SIIR Noxos is gaining more probability, based on the Terran's narrations.

The human seemed to evaluate a question she wanted to ask (this is, of course, a mere speculation based on previous observations: her face muscles were contracted to form a crease over her visual organs, which could so far most likely be interpreted as confusion, thoughtfulness or discomfort; her head was both slightly raised and tilted to one side at the same time, a gesture that was most likely supposed to convey an ongoing thought process).

Although, before she could utter a noise, V-7 informed us of a request from the Vitrichl to gather for a matter of importance.

The purpose of his summoning was to divide the crew into several smaller groups that were to be assigned with different tasks to fulfill once we sucessfully landed on Fendaar.

I was grouped with the Terran, which was unsurprising, as well as Tkzt, a member of the species that is widely known across the galaxies as Ctzas (it is to note that the Ctzas have not evolved any form of written language and communicate exclusively through clicking and chittering sounds. The written forms of, for example, names of this species, are written by other species to produce approximately the same sound as the Ctzas make when recited verbally).

Tkzt, as a member of the unit controlling supply chains and keeping a list of the stock of the SIIR Noxos, would make a helpful addition in our task of seeking out the nearest settlement in order to stock up on supplies.

After all matters of importance were settled, the crew dissipated, continuing their respective tasks. The Terran was ordered to stay and to assist the Vitrichl in another matter, which is the reason I did not cross paths with the human again for the rest of this cycle.

Despite this, I am positive that accompanying the human on an foreign planet will give me a further insight into the species' mannerisms and interaction manners with foreign species, which will prove to be helpful further on in studying the human.

#*does that scene from movies but in reverse*#*a bus passes through your field of vision and suddenly I am standing on the opposite of the street in a trenchcoat & shades hiding my face #*In my hand a new chapter*#So honestly #I'm really immensely sorry that I disappeared for almost two whole months without a word #I had a lot going on #Duties #Deadlines #Having to travel out of the country two different times #But now I'm back!!#And I got a lot more free time so I'll be able to go back to my normal updating schedule of once a day #I spent some time thinking about where I wanted this story to go etc etc #But now I'm really excited to have this chapter finally released bc I was honestly struggling with it and the storyline #But now it's done and I'm back on the track :)))#day 15 #nr.15 #I wouldn't be surprised if most of you thought I was just dead and never gonna continue this lol #Also obviously thank you for the messages I got asking if I was okay and if I was continuing this #While also staying very polite #You guys are great <3 #Thanks for your patience and also for the 300 more followers I got while I was gone #Ok now the actual tags this already almost as long as the actual chapter again #I put it under a read more tho bc the chapter itself is also pretty long #earth is space australia #humans are weird #space australia #humans are space orcs #humans are insane #humans are terrifying #humans in space

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zerkenik · 2 months

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LAST BUNCH OF BEHEADED DOODLES UNTIL I WAKE UP LATER.. i was rlly nervous about starting to upload art online, but having a reason to draw is really helping me and i want to thank you guys for even liking my art :^)

Whole lot of rambling in the tags lol

#dead cells #dead cells fanart #dead cells bobby #dead cells beheaded #im getting more confident in my ability to draw and i want to thank you guys for it #my art hasnt felt good enough recently and ive really improved by getting myself to draw and get my stuff out there #i think its because i see people my age who are drawing way better than me and it makes me feel like i havent dedicated enough time #and practice to my art #so thank you guys a lot for interacting with my posts and stuff #its been a really pleasant surprise getting so many likes and stuff on my art #artists like saltyfinalboss (go check them out :^) have been a huge inspiration to me since i even started on tumblr #thats actually the artist that made me want to play dead cells #i saw their art and was like #woah! that game looks cool!

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tapeworrmart · 18 days

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Bro it's insane how I can draw smth cuz I've been feeling a black cloud and like I need to vent and that I'm all alone with the feeling and then... Post it and have so many of you feel the same or feel similar like :). Man :)). We out here. Holding all your hands rn

#Like obvs not happy you feel the same as that but also like wow #Really puts things into perspective like we are all out here with our little feelings and we get it #None of us are alone #Not to be sappy but. Yeah. Thanks for liking my art guys means a lot to me and my silly brain #Just when I think things aren't worth anything anymore shit like this surprises me

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puppyeared · 8 months

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you seem like the. kind of person who I'd run into during a rock concert while I'm trying to find bathroom and notably you are dressed kind of oddly for the concert (see: divorced dad outfit. hawaiian shirt. jorts. chunky sandles. giant sun hat.) and so I ask you "hello, do you know where I can find the bathroom?" and you go "yeah sure!!" and you point me the complete opposite direction from the bathroom. not on purpose, but because you also have no idea where the bathroom is. I thank you and go on my way, both of us oblivious to the fact we are currently very much not at a rock concert. it's an idie band that just screams really loud. sorry if that's specific you just give me giant 'perpetual tourist that isn't really a tourist and has never left their home city but just seems like a tourist anyways' energy

naw thats a pretty reasonable impression id say

#thank you for this i can very clearly see all of this happening whehghfdg #ive actually never been to a concert of any kind before!! id love to go see cavetown in person cuz hes the only one i actually consistently #listen to. but the dude only has his tours either in europe or the states orz #BUT if you did ask me where you could find a certain type of fish in the aquarium i could almost definitely get it right #only cause ive been to the aquarium enough times to memorize the galleries but forgetful enough to be surprised every single time #“yeah sure!!” is also a SPOT ON RESPONSE. not a “its that way” or “head there and turn left”. yeah sure is more on point than u could know #one time i was at the beach ogling these tiny fish and some guy asked me hows the water and i said theres tiny fish here!!#which did not answer his question and was so far off and its happened so many times that i think ive accepted it #ask #answered #yapping #doodles #puppysona #i also know deep in my soul i would dress oddly for a concert because 1) almost all the clothes in my closet are at least 8 years old #and 2) im very picky and wear for comfort rather than something i could actually use for certain outings. like a concert #i literally have a sweater that says baddie in fancy font and i only bought it because its REALLY FUNNY and it was like $12

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sleepless-in-starbucks · 14 days

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reasons i cant make jokes about characters' genders: it will not be a joke for very long

#the cryptid speaks #the cryptid speaks in tongues #case in point:#lucky jumbo <3 #tbh this is about All versions of luke lucky carder inscryption but just like especially his lj variant that I control the canon to #bc yeah . 'what is luke' / 'doomed thanks for asking' Was a joke . was #i thought about it too much Ok and ive come to the conclusion that guy Does Not have time for a solid gender identity there are Horrors #which Then lead to me thinkin about lj luke and going . ok so he's like joe great thanks for telling me this Now luke #cant believe im adding a gender fic to the lj roster (believes it very much and isnt even really that surprised)#anyways . fic where litch rally the entire hc server cottons on to luke not being cis before he does . bc that's my oblivious blorbo #luke mentions smth to mumbo about it being cool how chill the hermits are with joe's pantheon of pronouns #mumbo thinks he's trying to Hint that he's the same bc he's not comfortable with saying it directly #so mumbo tells boatem and boatem tells everyone else and soon luke's getting multi-pronoun'd #he probably doesnt even notice until someone tries to talk to him about it and he's like . wha #canon luke is adab lj!luke is agahc (assigned gender at hermitcraft)

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chiptrillino · 4 months

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I cannot stop staring at your Zuko art for the Iconoclast... truly awe-inspiring like how is he so pretty how did you manage to make him look that part of being some sexy deity-like ruler so well W O W... Would love to see how you interpret Suki and Sokka :3c

Wants to do a 'maybe its maybeline' joke but my brain can't function

I guess... zuko can be preatty if he wants to.

Thank you anon!!!

I would like it to give it a try in drawing sokka and suki too. But with each chapter sokka is undressing more I fear there will be nothing to draw for me once I am released from sick leave.

#chip!ask #i am surprised by how much you guys love this zuko!#it makes me really happy thank you!#also drawing the armor will be fun... and my deathsentence... but worth it think

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coffeeshib · 8 months

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Hi! I’ve recently visited your page again, after a longer tumblr break and saw your posts about people’s comments on your fics. It made me both sad and angry. Sad because they’ve managed to take away your joy for writing Supercorp and angry that people feel like they can type out any hurtful thought that goes through their head, for a thing that is absolutely free and made with so much passion and care. 😒🤬

For what it’s worth, I always loved the way you write both of them. AND the fact that you don’t ignore Kara’s trauma and struggles. “i’m spilling all my words (but you keep 'em to yourself)” will forever be one of my favorites. Thank you for the hours of joy and fun you have given us! I hope you know that for every entitled commenter there are ten times more people who love your works! 🫵🏻🤘🏻

ahh thank you so much, i appreciate this. i have to say, sc still has me by the neck, i do plan to finish that fic & maybe write some more but it won't be anytime soon. i had hoped that the fandom would calm down with the kara hate after the show ended but i was wrong, it still hasn't changed.

when you've been writing for sc for so long, the frustration builds up, & there have been many times where i felt like i needed to (& did) restrict myself when writing them. it stops being enjoyable when people are constantly calling kara 'stupid' & insult her in many different ways for not being the happy sunshine kara danvers who takes care of lena all the time.

personally i love reading & writing the reverse situation (lena who's being the patient loving one & also the shoulder for kara to lean on) because the show didn't give us enough of that. unfortunately, people don't respond well whenever kara is struggling with her issues & lena isn't the one who's being comforted.

i write what i like & that's what i'm always going to do, but this build up of frustration over the past years & always anticipating kara hate every fic/chapter killed the joy a lot.

i've seen some authors speak about this too & it's genuinely sad to see! people can like & dislike whatever but it's important to note that there are readers out there who don't realize that their personal feelings against kara also affect authors & their love for writing supercorp

#lena is allowed to be hurt & feel sad/angry & she's instantly understood. why isn't the same level of compassion shown to kara?#(don't answer this i know why 😔)#anon that fic is so dear to me & close to my heart!!!#for anyone who's still waiting on an update even after a year..... all i can say is #1) i appreciate the interest & it warms me that you still think about the fic #2) there's still a lot of things to write about & explore in chapter 8 onwards. a crumb i can give you guys is the next chap being about #kara relearning (or not really) how to touch lena while lena is being the supportive Friend :) that she is #anyways i didn't mean to write a long post. i don't like to complain about my little troubles #but i see that you guys genuinely enjoy my work & have been waiting for more so i just had speak on it #also?? maybe this'll bring some awareness? bc i'm surprised this isn't talked about much. doubt if it helps but fellow writers who get it #i see u!!!#anyways thanks again anon!#hope you're having a lovely day #asks

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elitadream · 7 months

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Healing Together

Ok, I have been on an inspiration streak with this AU, so have another fic, this time based on the aftermath. I swear elitadream, your AU will be the end of me AAAA- (because it's THAT good.)

Oh man, ANOTHER one? 🤩😂 You're on fire indeed!! And omg, the feels... ;_; ❤️‍🩹 I really like how you handled the bros' mutual guilt and frustration for the aftermath. That was superbly done. And Junior showing up was a really nice surprise! ☺️ Wonderful job once again!! ✨️

#You guys keep surprising me with these! 🤯😍#I really appreciate your investment in this concept 🙏#Y'all's personal takes are so interesting and awesome!! :D 💫#Thank you for sharing this one as well 💞#That was really touching 🥹#asks #mario #luigi #bowser #junior #bowser jr #body swap #personal concept #fanart and fanfic

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all-thestories-aretrue · 2 days

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Like i've lived in the czech republic before. But I didn't order packages a lot and my place had a place to put them onsite.

I don't have that anymore. So when I wasn't here yesterday when they delivered my packages (two hours early) they put them in a pick up location.

Said pick up location was a butcher/meat shop. Is this normal??? Do random shops double as postage pick up locations??

In other news i have an oven!!!

#studies in living abroad #i feel like i need some sort of tag #like the culture shock i dont really get bcuz ive been here so much #but there are some things that surprise me logistically like packages in meat shops #funnily enough there was a guy there who had the same code as me and she said my name and I was like ah Jsem!! me!! tady!!#and that guy spoke english thankfully but his czech was way better than mine #as soon as i start making money its over my czech will get so mediocre #i was like dva nebo jedna?? bcuz i had two packages #and she was like ješte jedna and i was like thank god i understand 😭😭#minimal czech was needed thanks to the text message

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weaselmcdiesel · 1 year

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I posted 212 times in 2022

That's 159 more posts than 2021!

166 posts created (78%)

46 posts reblogged (22%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@weaselishmcdiesel

@dieselmcweasel

@weaselmcdiesel

@monggay

@raisans-art

I tagged 211 of my posts in 2022

#my art - 121 posts

#fan art - 99 posts

#hermitcraft - 93 posts

#mcyt - 77 posts

#weasel speaks - 68 posts

#grian - 46 posts

#mumbo jumbo - 45 posts

#reblog - 41 posts

#thank you for the request! - 21 posts

#others art - 19 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#stiff if you see this i was totally lookin at all your mumbos for inspo. you turn him into such a creature its a skill i havent grasped yet

I sent 10 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

can you draw grumbot

I've been meaning to develop a design for him :) Heavily inspired by Canti from fooly cooly because that's peak robot design tbh

2,710 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

mumbotter for no reason in particular <3

3,524 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

sooo what if grian was the redstoner (pathetic cat) and mumbo was the builder (bird coded gremlin) :D it boils down to a fashion swap and personality swap really

3,604 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

please, can we have a tango *offers you a flower*

turns out i lov tango you can have as many as you want 🥰 also used your ask as a chance to draw my favorite part of s9 XD

See the full post

5,628 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Here are my designs for my povs in season 9 :)

9,376 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #this took such less time to calculate than my spam XD #i really try not to reblog with this blog it makes sense my top three blogs are. 2 my own and 1 a joke about me XD #damn grian got more art than mumbo inchrestin #congrats stiff for being in my longest tag? XD #also im always surprised how my s9 pov designs got so many notes <3 thank you guys lolol

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its-kinda-snowy · 1 year

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Hey!

My current drawing tablet has begun it's slow and painful (annoying) death. I'm currently in college at the moment would really like to lessen the cost of buying a new screen tablet similar to the one I currently have.

So I am opening up some sketch commissions!

The prices are listed above, just place what character (any fandom and ocs are welcome) you want drawn and preferred contact info in the message section.

I just want to say thank you guys so much for your support! Honestly sharing my art and the community here has really helped me get out of some really tough spots. And I can't thank you guys enough for that :]

Get some art here!

#again thank you guys so much but please don't feel obligated to donate if you cant/dont want to #honestly my tablet is so old and clunky im surprised it lasted this long #they dont even make it anymore lmao #but the screen has really started to deteriorate to the point where I actively dread using it #which considering I draw for my own enjoyment is kinda bad lol

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frecklystars · 1 year

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I want to say real quick, again, thank you guys so much for sending me asks. The messages just keep pouring and I cannot put into words how much it means to me, how much I need them right now. I know writing messages takes energy, and half of you don’t even know me, some of you are even saying “oh I just followed you today, I hope you feel better” and!! That’s so kind!!! I fucking love you guys. Thank you for using your time and energy, choosing to write to me. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but across the screens, you’re helping a real breathing person heal.

I missed so many of you, even the people I only interacted with one time, like for a commission you bought from me, or maybe you wrote a nice tag on my art, I do remember you fondly. I always remember when someone is kind to me because I didn’t grow up surrounded by kind people; when I recognize acts of kindness, I really hold onto it.

To the newcomers, welcome to my blog, and I’m so sorry you’re seeing me like this. I want to say I’m not normally in such devastated state, but I’ve felt so incredibly hopeless for such a long amount of time, I’m not quite sure how to be my old self again. I’m really hoping I can heal one day, and it feels a little bit more possible because of your support. It’s so touching that there’s so many of you who are like “oh I just found your blog today and I’m sending you so much love”. You’re seeing me in such a raw, wounded state, and yet you’re still willing to extend your positivity even though you don’t know me. It means so much.

I cannot tell you how comforting it feels to open my inbox and my dms and re-read all of these messages you’re sending me. And then I’ll refresh and suddenly there will be more. I promise you I am reading every single one of them, and I am slowly but surely answering as many as I can, even if I’m so slow at it, I’m very rusty from not speaking to almost anyone for nearly 9 months lol. Not only do I feel encouraged when you’re lifting me up like this, but spending a few minutes distracting my mind from the traumatic events by focusing on reading your words, it helps to ground me. When I feel more vulnerable to flashbacks, whether it’s just that kind of day where I wake up and the wounds are reopened, or maybe I’ve been triggered by something and my emotions are raw, I’ll try to open my inbox and read your messages again, to try to ground myself. Some of you are even worried about putting content warnings onto your asks, which is so sweet. I promise you you don’t have to do that, but that’s so incredibly nice of you to even think about that. You don’t have to worry about whether your transformers URLs are going to make me flinch, or if there’s pink profile pictures, or if you mention Starscream or Knockout or Megatron or Bee or literally whomever. Just the fact that you’re being careful with me, that’s so sweet, I can’t believe how all of you, 100% of you, have taken me seriously. None of you have made fun of me, none of you have put me down for being scared -- hell, even non-self shippers have told me they support me in my journey to reclaiming the many characters I’ve lost. I think I’ve reached over 100 messages in the last three days that I’ve returned, and all of them are nothing but kind and empathetic. I’m shocked.

I really thought I was going to be in this alone. I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. A few of M’s close friends blocked me back when she was manipulating me, and it hurt, because I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. No explanation, I had lost a few people who I thought I was close with. And it was just more fuel for her to tell me how she would think I’m special, that she would never leave me like that. I was scared that when I’d return online, everyone would shun me, that she might be spreading rumors about me (which she is known to do). But I’ve even had FIVE PEOPLE come forward in the last two days and say “I know who you’re venting about, even though you didn’t say her name, and she hurt me too. She hurts a lot of people and I’m sorry she hurt you. Don’t let her ruin Transformers for you, it’s yours.” I felt so relieved to hear I wasn’t alone, that we’re not alone, that I’m not going crazy. Thank you guys for validating my feelings.

My ask box is always open, my dms are always open (when they’re not being glitchy lol) and none of you should ever worry about “being too overwhelming” when sending messages. You’re not tiring me out, you’re not making me feel pressured to respond. You’re all making me feel seen. You can send me 500 supportive messages and I am going to read all of them. I had no idea how much I needed support until I received it. I burst into tears the first time you guys started messaging me because I was awash with relief. You’re all really helping me get onto the path of healing and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for helping me and thank you for being patient with me as I heal.

#woof #im so scared that i cant get better. but so many of you keep insisting that i WILL get better #and man i hope you're right. i cant tell you how lonely it feels without my starlight :(#that love is still deep inside of my heart somewhere... i just dont know how to find it again #but all of you supporting me is seriously helping me so so so much #...also it's 5 in the morning and i couldnt sleep bc of a nightmare fhdhfj so. here i am #reading more messages and it helps me forget the nightmare and focus more on the Support #i was so isolated and lonely for so long. only filled with the belief that im unworthy of love #that my own comfort characters would *enjoy* hurting me #and im so shocked seeing these waves of kindness from so many of you #im not used to people being nice to me bc i spent so long being with one person who hurt me repeatedly #so each time i get a new Nice Message im like. surprised all over again #ok im gonna try to go back to sleep now bc i have a bartending shift at the theater in a few hours #im so excited! i genuinely love to bartend at the theater and i love getting to watch free shows #but i wont be able to pour any drinks if i am falling asleep at the counter sdlfjsdf #the nightmare really shook me up so i might be slow to responding when im home from work #but i will try to get back to as many as i can today. u guys are so amazing. thank you.

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