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greenbergsays · 5 years

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Sit down, gang, we’re gonna talk about the Wall Scene.

I know, I know, other people have screamed about it before, but when your friends ask you to do a thing, you should oblige.

But you know exactly what scene I’m talking about. They’re walking down halls, kicking in the doors of an ex-Satanic convent, Crowley admits to being Soft because even though he turned the paintball guns into real guns, he also made sure that no one would die.

“They’re all having miraculous escapes,” he says. Because he knew Aziraphale would be upset otherwise.

Aziraphale replies, “You know, I’ve alway said that you really are quite a nice--”

And then. and T H E N

First of all, and this is fairly important: if you look closely, Crowley don’t even push him against the wall hard. He wants to intimidate Aziraphale so he’ll stop doing things like calling him NICE, but he doesn’t want to hurt him. Never wants to hurt him.

In fact, if you notice, he only pushes far enough for Aziraphale’s back to hit the wall. He doesn’t push hard enough or lean in hard enough for Aziraphale to hit his head on the wall. Look closely.

Aziraphale is the one to rest his head against the wall, that doesn’t happen because Crowley is too rough with him.

But the second thing, fam, the second thing I wanna say is this: when someone grabs you like that, usually you grab them back. You bring your hands up to defend yourself, you try to escape, you turn away, brace yourself for the attack, you do s o m e t h i n g.

Aziraphale does NOTHING. He holds his hand out behind him just to feel for the wall, but other than that, he lets Crowley manhandle him. He doesn’t even look away, he’s staring right at Crowley, meeting his gaze steadily.

And look at his hands in the gif above. They don’t clench into fists. Never, not once. There is no fear response.

Now look at Aziraphale’s face. He’s surprised, but he’s not afraid.

That’s not a look of fear, fam, that is a look of Gay Panic because oh no, our bodies are pressed together and our noses are touching. His eyes even flick down to where the tips of their noses brush.

He never once tries to push Crowley off of him, tries to escape, nothing. Never, not once, do we see fear on his face.

And, in fact, when Sister Mary Loqacious comes along, we see the opposite.

Excuse me, gentlemen, sorry to break up in intimate moment.

Crowley turns to inspect the newcomer, Aziraphale does not. Aziraphale is too focused on Crowley.

Look at his eyes. First focused on where their noses had been touching, just like in the last gif, and then when Crowley looks away, he only lifts his gaze to stare at Crowley’s profile.

LOOK AT THAT EXPRESSION.

Excuse me, sir, I’m going to have to cite you for excessive longing.

My favorite thing, though, my absolutely favorite thing, is Crowley immediately looks to Mary, whereas it takes a moment for Aziraphale to realize they’re being intruded upon.

What was that? Other people exist? Dear me.

Also, like, listen. This strange woman is walking up to them and speaking to them and NEITHER OF THESE NERDS move away from each other.

Usually, when two people are caught in what might be called a “compromising” position--especially when the person catching them calls it an ‘intimate moment’--the two people involved try to put as much distance between them as possible and laugh it off.

Not these nerds, oh no. They literally stay pressed together against a wall, just looking at her as she talks to them. Crowley doesn’t even move away when he realizes who she is.

Aziraphale, still content to be held against the wall, is like, “Oh, we know her?”

But look at them! They’re still just standing there! This woman is RIGHT NEXT TO THEM, is ACTIVELY STARTING A CONVERSATION WITH THEM, and they’re like “what is personal space.”

Crowley only moves away from Aziraphale when Mary starts backing up like she’s gonna run.

And then what happens? They bicker like an old married couple. Because of course they do.

Why would they do anything else????

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #long post #i wrote this for #kedreeva #and she has forbidden me to put it under a cut #i do apologize

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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hello, yes, 911? I’d like to report this scene for personally victimizing me

LOOK AT CROWLEY’S FACE WHEN AZIRAPHALE BRANDISHES THE SWORD. THAT IS THE FACE OF A DEMON WHO THINKS HE’S ABOUT TO BETRAYED BY THE ANGEL HE LOVES.

Aziraphale looks at the sword like he knows he should be using that as a threat, but that’s DUMB, this is Crowley, and he has better threats! Like never speaking to him again!

And look at Crowley’s face when Aziraphale says that!

To quote @kedreeva: "Oh no he's going to threaten to kill me himself...OH NO, IT'S WORSE."

“Do something or I’ll never talk to you again!”

And then Crowley does! something! because he can’t abide the thought

#good omens #spoilers #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #LOOK AT THIS SHIT #david tennant and martin sheen have delivered unto me shipping GOLD #in their performances #i have so many feelings #also i really need to learn how to make gifs

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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listen, fam, I am not usually one to deliver The Angst, but the thing you gotta know about me is that I do not suffer alone

So I need you to know, I absolutely need you to know, that as Aziraphale watches Crowley walk away, after he (Aziraphale) declares that it’s over between them

there is the slightest little lip wobble. did you see it??? HERE, LEMME GIVE YOU A CLOSE-UP

kill me now

JUST LOOK AT THE HEARTBREAK ON HIS FACE. Because he knows--he just knows--that this is it. Six thousand years and this is the last time he’ll ever see Crowley.

Even if he manages to stop Armaggedon, this is it. It’s over. He said it was over. Why did he do that? He doesn’t WANT it to be over. Six thousand years wasn’t enough, how is he gonna manage six thousand more without him?

the OTHER THING that I absolutely need you to see again is Crowley’s reaction to being told it’s over

he just stands there and stares. He just stands there for so long that I can’t gif it because it’s too big of a file. That’s how thrown Crowley is

play it cool, play it cool, he doesn’t know he just smashed my heart into the finest dust.

And the fact that Aziraphale only lasts a few seconds watching him leave?? before he has to look away??? It just fucking kills me.

Not only is it too painful for him, but he knows that he’s hurt Crowley, even though Crowley will never admit it, he’ll just internalize it just like he’s internalized everything that’s hurt him since the Falling. Just like he’s internalized the hurt from the Falling.

stab me, it would hurt less

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #angst #i t h u r t s

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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Any opinions on Az's smile when Crowley arrives at the theater for Hamlet?

Opinions?? No, I have no opinions.

Who fuckin’ cares about the way his inquisitive expression immediately melts into one of absolute, satisfied pleasure as soon as he sets eyes on Crowley?

Certainly not me, nope, not at all.

And I know that it’s just not worth mentioning how adorable he is with his immediate conceal don’t feel reaction as soon as he realizes that he’s smiling at Crowley that way.

What do you mean that Aziraphale is already in love with Crowley and just doesn’t realize it?

Shenanigans, I tell you. You’re talking shenanigans.

#nani asks #greenberg replies #good omens #ineffable husbands #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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So, I was up at 2am for some Godforsaken reason and as I was laying in bed, trying my best to go back to sleep, all I could think about what the fact that Crowley point-blank tells Aziraphale twice that he’s going to LEAVE HIM BEHIND and then he does not

I mean, first of all, and this is the important bit, both of these instances are directly preceded by Crowley practically begging, out loud, where everyone can hear him, for Aziraphale to run away with him.

Can you believe???? Not once, but T W I C E. They gave us that TWICE.

Crowley, pls, you’re giving me a heart condition.

Anyways, during The Break-Up Scene (and that’s what it was, okay, that bandstand scene was a BREAK UP), when Aziraphale--against what he actually wants to say--tells Crowley no and it’s over, then Crowley’s like, FINE, HAVE A NICE DOOMSDAY.

And then what does he do? He goes home, finds a suitable destination, but does not leave for said destination because Aziraphale hasn’t agreed to go with him. Hastur finds him in a movie theater, that is not a stop on the way to Alpha Centauri, Crowley.

And then--and then--when Hastur DOES find him and Crowley realizes he’s Fucked, what does he do? He does not immediately get the fuck off this planet, no, he goes to find Aziraphale again.

And when Aziraphale refuses to go with him?

DOES HE, THOUGH? DOES HE GET HIS STUFF AND LEAVE?

No! This huge ass nerd refuses to leave the planet without his angel, so he devises a plan to stop Hastur & Ligur instead.

And THEN. AND T H E N! Once he’s free of Hastur & Ligur? WHERE DOES HE GO?

IMMEDIATELY. BACK. TO. AZIRAPHALE.

#good omens #spoilers #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #long post #chasing has agreed to teach me out to gif #and when i learn that i will be UNSTOPPABLE

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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I know I’ve already talked a little bit about Crowley + circling Aziraphale and what it means in my previous post, but I was thinking about it again, and, like. listen.

Crowley did not begin circling Aziraphale until after the Arrangement was put into effect.

The birth of the arrangement is really the birth of “their side.” Because it’s pretty clear that from that point onward, Crowley thinks of it as “us vs them” and “us” is not Hell, it is him and Aziraphale.

Aziraphale won’t admit that they have their own side now, but Crowley never tries to deny it.

But the point is: the first mention of the arrangement, in 1601, and the first time we see Crowley circle around Aziraphale’s back coincide and that is not a coincidence.

From the moment it’s “us,” Crowley takes on the role of protector, because he understands that it won’t have occurred to Aziraphale. Aziraphale is a great many wonderful, contradictory things, but he is not a warrior.

He’s never been suited to war. He isn’t suspicious or distrusting enough for it, and we see that again and again throughout their history.

Crowley, though, is. He’s a demon; he knows the truth of humanity, of Heaven, of Hell. He knows what’s in store for them if they’re caught, and so he keeps watch.

He does it because he’s afraid for them; afraid to be caught and afraid of what will happen if they are. But he’s even more afraid to be caught unaware.

Aziraphale, too, is afraid. He’s constantly pointing out the danger, but specifically the danger to Crowley.

“If Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry,” he says as they stand in the Globe theater, “they’ll destroy you.”

Crowley fears that very thing, too, and that fear only grows as they grow closer.

Aziraphale warns of Hell’s ire in 1601, but Crowley still feels the need to remind him in 1793: “If my people find out I rescued an angel, I’ll be the one in trouble, and my lot do not send rude notes.”

And yet, he still looks out for Aziraphale again and again. He still rescues Aziraphale. He still circles him, quite literally watching his back, when they’re together.

He does his level best to be a barrier between Aziraphale and the rest of the world and he does it without telling Aziraphale that that’s what he’s doing. He makes it look just casual enough that Aziraphale thinks it’s just something that Crowley does, meandering around.

But look. Look. The important thing, the truly important thing, is this:

Even when he’s wearing Aziraphale’s face, Crowley is circling around his angel’s back, scanning their surroundings, keeping watch.

And if you notice, he’s the first taken. Heaven takes “Aziraphale” before Hell can get to “Crowley,” because the real Crowley is the barrier between everyone else and the real Aziraphale, just like he wanted to be.

Crowley is taken first, because despite his fear, that was always his plan.

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #anthony j crowley #i stan a very soft demon

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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I love how this nerd has just been double-crossed, is facing inconvenient discorporation and the threat of paperwork! and he’s more worried about the fact that Crowley has changed/added to his name again

Also

With similar priorities, Crowley is more worried that Aziraphale might not like his name than the fact that 1) he’s on consecrated ground, 2) there’s a gun pointed at them, and 3) he knows a bomb is about to be dropped on their heads

And still in the middle of this situation, Aziraphale rushes to assure him that that’s not what he said! He’ll get used to it!

Don’t worry, my dear, I was just surprised! I hadn’t heard that you changed your name!

#good omens #spoilers #ineffable husbands #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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Good afternoon, are y’all ready for feelings again? Let’s talk about the break-up scene.

“But, Des,” you say, “you’ve already talked about the break-up scene!”

Yeah, I talked about the actual break-up, let’s talk about THE BEGINNING OF IT.

This isn’t really what I wanted to talk about, but it’s just another one of those great moments that I love between them.

Crowley, literally two seconds ago, says: “You’re ridiculous, I don’t know why I’m still talking to you,” and walks away.

But as soon as Aziraphale says, “You can’t leave, Crowley!” He turns around and just drops this bomb.

“Enough, I’m leaving.” / “We can go off together!”

Honestly, do the two of you even know how to be properly mad at one another? The answer is no.

But like I said, that wasn’t really what I wanted to talk about.

What I wanted to talk about is what happens directly after that. I wanna talk about Aziraphale’s reaction.

The way his expression goes slack, lips parting, it’s surprise, yes, but it’s also more. It’s awe.

There are no words, none whatsoever, that do justice to Michael Sheen’s voice in this moment.

“Go off together?” So soft, filled with disbelief and longing, like in those three words, Crowley has given him everything he’s ever wanted, but never even dared to dream about.

And then there’s this. He takes a little fortifying breath like Crowley’s just knocked the air out of him.

The thing that kills me, though, is that as soon as he realizes that he’s daring to hope, he has to reel himself in again. Because he is Aziraphale and he doesn’t get what he wants.

A little sigh as he lets that same breath go, his shoulders dropping again.

First of all, before I go off on a tangent, I wanna talk about Crowley’s body language.

He’s just said, “let’s go off together,” and he’s standing there with arms wide open like he’s offering up his entire self to Aziraphale, and in some ways he is, but it just kILLS me to see, knowing what’s coming next.

Now onto my tangent:

Listen to yourself, Aziraphale says. It’s a silly thought to entertain; a pipe dream.

This is the moment, the very second, that Aziraphale teeters on the knife’s edge of a life-changing decision.

Taking what he wants means turning his back on Heaven. Being obedient to Heaven means losing Crowley.

For six thousand years, he’s been able to put off this decision, but he’s been aware more and more that it’s coming, that he’ll have to choose some day. Maybe in those first days, it would’ve been easy for him to choose Heaven.

But six thousand years later, it isn’t. Six thousand years later, the idea of choosing Heaven over Crowley makes him feel like he’s unraveling at his very core.

He needs to be talked into it, though, the same way Crowley talks him into everything else. Needling him, coaxing him, spouting absolute logic at him--because logic is the language that Aziraphale speaks most fluently--until Aziraphale can make his decision and feel good about it.

It’s easy to say that Aziraphale is a worrier and you would not be incorrect in saying so. But let’s call a spade a spade: Aziraphale has anxiety. Seemingly very severe anxiety.

The first time we meet him, he says, “Oh, I do hope I didn’t do the wrong thing,” and then he spends the next six episodes worrying about that very thing.

That is his defining trait. He needs to do the right thing and his entire life is spent wondering if he’s succeeding.

The thing that Crowley does--that no one else will do, keep in mind! and that I think is absolutely, utterly wonderful--is he talks it through with Aziraphale. He doesn’t just say, “Stop being a worrywart,” or “Why are you worried about this?” or “You worry too much.”

No, he acknowledges and accepts Aziraphale’s anxiety as part of who he is and instead of dismissing or ridiculing it, he helps to ease that anxiety with the thing that works best for Aziraphale: logic.

Crowley gamely engages Aziraphale’s worries and lays out careful arguments to show that no, dove, you aren’t doing the wrong thing. This is the thing to do, I promise, and here’s why.

That way when Aziraphale makes his decision, he won’t worry about it afterward.

I mean, think about Aziraphale after he makes the decision to help thwart the apocalypse & raise Warlock with Crowley. Crowley’s the one voicing his worries in the flashes we see, not Aziraphale. Aziraphale’s fears have been squashed by Crowley and now he Knows he’s doing the right thing, no anxiety present.

So the thing is...he needs Crowley to do it again. He’s giving Crowley the opportunity to ease his fears again.

And Crowley tries to because he knows that’s how this song and dance goes:

He tries.

Aziraphale has spent the past 6,000 years putting boundaries on who and what they are to each other.

Crowley has spent 6,000 years trying to respect those boundaries. He’s ass over teakettle in love with Aziraphale, but he’s spent 6,000 years knowing that he can’t say that because to love one another is to disobey orders.

Something that Crowley is very comfortable with, but which Aziraphale is not.

And, of course, to say that first would be making himself too vulnerable. If he says it first, what if Aziraphale balks? What if it’s not okay to love him?

Of course, this whole conversation between them is a love declaration and Aziraphale does balk. And Crowley, as he walks away with a crumbling heart, is secretly glad that he did not say the words.

So he chooses the word “friend.” His question is calculated, but it’s also a miscalculation.

“How long have we been friends?”

Because I think that “friends” is a bucket of cold water for Aziraphale.

It’s the very moment when he starts to backtrack. It’s when he starts to pull away from Crowley and everything that's being offered. It’s when he starts building up his walls again.

It’s not that Aziraphale doesn’t value what they have--it’s not that what they have isn’t enough--it’s that he is in love with Crowley and he erroneously assumes that he needs more in order to turn his back on Heaven.

He wants the big sweeping gesture, he wants Crowley to say, “I’ve been in love with you for six thousand years, run away with me before the Apocalypse comes.”

Aziraphale has no doubts at all about how he feels about Crowley, but if he’s going to give up Heaven, he needs to know that Crowley doesn’t have any doubts, either. He needs to know that they’re on the same page, that they always have been.

He thinks he needs more of a commitment than “we’re friends, let’s go off together.” (Probably because among his first editions, he has quite a few trashy romance novels. Don’t base romance on that, Aziraphale, ffs.)

And Crowley? Crowley is looking back at the past six thousand years and assuming that the commitment bit was obvious.

Aziraphale wants a big gesture because he's looking for Crowley's behavior to change, and to change in a way that indicates his feelings. He can’t turn his back on Heaven for things that are unsaid.

The problem with that, though, is that Crowley's behavior can't change. It can’t because he's been in love since they met. He's ALWAYS acted in love, he can't just start now because Aziraphale’s ready for it.

Aziraphale wants a big sweeping gesture and Crowley thinks that standing there with his arms wide open, offering to run away together, is the gesture.

These dumbasses are so close to getting what they both want, it’s right at their fingertips. They’re on the same page of the same damn book, it’s just different translations.

Now please look at it again, along with what Aziraphale says next:

the thing

that absolutely kills me

about this fucking part

is that Aziraphale can’t even look at Crowley when he says it.

That very last gif, he manages to glance at him for a second before he has to look away again, but other than that, he has to look away when he rejects what Crowley is offering, while he rejects what he so badly wants to accept

The other thing that kills me--actually there are two other things.

One is the look on his face as he says, “We’re an angel and a demon,” as if he’s having to remind himself of this fact.

They aren’t friends. They can’t be friends. They can’t be more. They are an angel and a demon. There’s no future for them; there can’t be, because this is what they are.

The other thing that kills me is that that line--”We are an angel and a demon.”--is such a meaningless party line and they both know it.

They’re so far past what they are that the fact that Aziraphale has to remind himself of it is telling in and of itself.

It’s such an arbitrary thing to them at this point that Crowley doesn’t even bother arguing with it.

The idea that that’s a reason to do or not do anything is just silly, honestly.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #shout out to kedreeva for helping with bits of this #'you forgot to add this'#'you forgot to talk about that'

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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Aziraphale, probably thinking that they realized their feelings around the same time, 26 years ago:

Crowley, who accepted that he was in love in Rome 41 A.D. and has been trying to court his angel for the 2,000 years since:

#good omens #ineffable husbands #spoilers #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #he's so confused #that is the face of man who is thinking 'has he REALLY not noticed?'#'i love one (1) dumbass'

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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You did ittt!!! OMG I was absolutely convinced that I should not get into a new OTP after that emotional train wreck Destiel but here I am, obSeSseD with Good Omens after I all that talking of yours (had to try) My friend said my eyes looked like shiny orbs of joy when we were watching this scene with Crowley pushing Aziraphale up the wall. Frickin hell, I'm trash now. Just trash. FUUUC how do we manage these feels? I need it to be canon, just this once! It will be, right? Do you know anything?

Take my hand, my friend, let me take you on a journey.

To understand the true significance of what we’ve been given, we need to begin earlier. A little more than 6,000 years earlier, to be precise. Just after the beginning.

An angel and a demon stand side-by-side, watching as the first humans make their way across an unforgiving landscape.

Angels and demons are, as one angel will later explain to his demonic counterpart, “hereditary enemies.” They’re supposed to hate each other. They’re supposed to distrust each other.

They are not, however, supposed to stand amiably beside each other on a wall as these two currently are. The demon, in particular, is not supposed to casually begin a conversation with an angel.

It would not be remiss to say that the connection between this particular angel and this particular demon is instantaneous. There is information shared in this first conversation that one would not normally share with an enemy.

“I gave it away,” says Aziraphale, and Crowley smiles.

It’s information that could very easily be used against the angel, but it never occurs to the demon to do so. Instead, when his companion voices worry over doing the wrong thing, Crowley comforts him and then answers that worry with one of his own: what if he’d done the right thing?

Crowley began this conversation and he is the one that keeps it afloat. A connection is forming between them, because Crowley–perhaps unknowingly, perhaps not–reaches out for it again and again.

Over the years, that connection only grows.

In 3004 B.C., Crowley once again approaches Aziraphale. He begins their conversation by gently teasing about the sword. He’s saying, “I remember you. I remember what we talked about. It’s been a while, but I haven’t forgotten.”

Something that is, we will eventually understand, important to Aziraphale. He’s dismissed by his own faction, but he is not dismissed by Crowley.

In 33 A.D., Crowley says, “Oh, no, I’ve changed [my name].”

It’s important to note this moment. 2,000 years in the future, a demon will ask, “What’s he calling himself up here these days?”

2,000 years and his name isn’t widely known among his own faction. But in 33 A.D., he makes sure that Aziraphale knows it. It wasn’t important to him that all of Hell knew what to call him; it was only important that Aziraphale knew.

In 41 A.D., Aziraphale approaches Crowley. This is important. He hasn’t before, but now they are familiar enough that he feels comfortable doing so. And more than that, he wants to share something that he likes with Crowley. Through one little “temptation,” he tries to build a deeper connection.

And, too, both here and in 537 A.D., we find that Aziraphale can recognize Crowley by voice alone, even through a suit of armor.

By 1601, they have an arrangement. By 1601, they have a rapport. By 1601, they can overhear Shakespeare say, “it would take a miracle,” and Aziraphale turns immediately to Crowley. His expression is beseeching, pleading, and Crowley answers that with an exasperated, “Oh, alright. My treat.”

By 1601, Aziraphale protests activating the arrangement again, because, “If Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry. They’ll destroy you.”

By 1601, Crowley has taken to circling behind Aziraphale as they talk; something that, up until this point in their history, we haven’t seen him do. It’s a protective tick.

He is, quite literally, watching Aziraphale’s back. He is monitoring, so that he knows the very second that things go south for them, and he is monitoring in such a way that Aziraphale won’t be harmed first, without Crowley having a chance to stop it.

By 1601, they are more than just colleagues.

In 1793, Crowley calls Aziraphale “angel” for the first time. He could mean it as a title. He could mean it as an insult. It is neither of those things.

In 1862, they have their first real, true fight. It’s because Crowley wants a weapon that will kill him–not discorporate, but kill–and Aziraphale won’t do it. His feelings have only grown and deepened. He can’t do anything, can’t provide anything, that will potentially bring harm to Crowley.

In 1862, Crowley hisses, “Fraternize?” because such a word has implications. It implies they are still enemies. It implies they are merely friends.

It’s impossible to know which one he is protesting. It couldn’t possibly be both. (It is both.)

In 1941, an angel trusts far too easily and gets himself into trouble. A demon walks on consecrated ground–something that blatantly hurts him–to save that angel.

In 1941, a bomb falls on a church and that same demon saves a small briefcase of books.

So much of what they’ve experienced together could be explained away. But to save his books is an act of selflessness that has no other meaning. Crowley knew that Aziraphale would be upset. Crowley knew him well enough to know that he would’ve forgotten the books in the mayhem. He made sure they survived.

In 1941, the music swells, and we slowly pan in to see realization dawning on the angel’s face. He is in love.

In 1967, Crowley plans a heist. We know what he wants from the church. Aziraphale swallows his pride and goes back on his own word–”No,” he said, in 1862, “absolutely not.”–to deliver that very thing. It’s safer this way.

None of the humans will understand how terribly vital it is that Crowley not touch the holy water. They won’t understand what it would do to him, should they accidentally spill it on him. But Aziraphale knows, and he brings the holy water to Crowley already in a closed container, because he needs Crowley to be safe.

“After everything you said,” Crowley says, because he understands how significant this moment is.

But 1967 is more than just an angel backing down so that no harm will come to his demon.

1967 is the year, the moment, that Aziraphale says, “Perhaps one day we could..oh, I don’t know. Go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz.”

1967 is the year that Aziraphale openly suggests a date.

“I’ll give you a lift,” Crowley says in response. “Anywhere you want to go.”

Stay with me, is what he doesn’t say. We could have that date tonight.

And 1967 is the year that Aziraphale says, “You go too fast for me, Crowley.”

I can’t, he doesn’t say back. It’s too much, too quickly. I have to get used to this still. But if you wait for me…if you wait for me, then yes.

In 2008, the year that the Antichrist is born, they dine at the Ritz. It is clearly not the first time.

Aziraphale, who won’t entertain a conversation about stopping the end of the world, says, “This is purely social.”

He does not remember whose fault the Reign of Terror was, but he remembers that when they ate together, they had crepes.

In 2008, Crowley–a demon that we never see without his sunglasses, unless he is alone and safe in his home–sits on the couch in Aziraphale’s bookshop, and removes those sunglasses, the barrier between himself and the world. The world, but not Aziraphale.

In 2019, Aziraphale says, “I could entertain,” and Crowley instantly knows what he means. He groans the groan of someone who has had to sit through that “entertainment” too many times. He suffers through it again, because Aziraphale always gets his way.

In 2019, their bickering has become a familiar dance to them both.

In 2019, Crowley dismissively says, “No, I know what you smell like,” with an annoyance that implies that should be obvious.

In 2019, a blue paintball ruins a white coat that had been kept in tip-top condition for 180 years. Despite the fact that its wearer is, in fact, an angel and can miracle it away, this is not what happens.

Instead, the angel pouts at his demonic companion, his eyes wide and beseeching as he explains why it wouldn’t be the same as it would be if Crowley were the one to do it.

Crowley pouts back at him in sympathy, and then indulges Aziraphale, like always. Aziraphale’s answering smile is brighter than the sun.

Inside the ex-convent, Crowley pushes Aziraphale against a wall, ostensibly to intimidate him, but Aziraphale is not intimidated. He is not afraid. He is distracted by where the tips of their noses touch, because they are so close.

When they’re interrupted, it’s by a woman that says, “Excuse me, gentlemen, sorry to break up an intimate moment.”

They do not jump apart. They do not correct her.

When Crowley realizes he knows the woman and stops her from escaping, Aziraphale says nothing about Crowley’s previous annoyance or what he was trying to convey with his little display. Instead, he fusses about Crowley controlling a scared woman into stillness as he casually straightens his wrinkled clothing.

Crowley fusses back, and then they approach the woman together, as a singular unit.

In 2019, Crowley says, “Run away with me.” In 2019, Aziraphale says, “It’s over.”

Afterward, Crowley will go home and search for a place to go. He’ll decide on Alpha Centauri, but he won’t go there. He’ll dally. He’ll procrastinate. He’ll sit in a movie theater and brood, where he’s found by demons. Where he’s told that they finally know he’s messed up.

Will he go to Alpha Centauri then? No.

He’ll go back to Aziraphale. He’ll beg Aziraphale to go with him. He’ll apologize for an argument that wasn’t even his fault.

Aziraphale, visibly torn, will still refuse him.

Will Crowley leave for Alpha Centauri then? No.

He’ll go back to his apartment and he’ll plan. He’ll kill a demon and he’ll trap another and then, he’ll go back to Aziraphale again. He’s been rejected twice, but he’ll try again, because to Crowley, there’s no point in fleeing to survive if Aziraphale isn’t with him.

In 2019, Aziraphale will be cornered by three angels who do succeed in intimidating him, the way Crowley did not.

One of them will say, “Don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in Hell.”

Aziraphale knows better than any of them what that word means–boyfriend–having lived on Earth this whole time, but he does not correct them.

He should. He’s clearly in trouble with his faction. If he wanted to save face with them, he would deny that that’s what his relationship with Crowley is. He’d deny having a relationship at all.

He does not.

In 2019, Crowley will find the bookshop burning and Aziraphale gone and he’ll mourn. He’ll scream into the fire and he’ll pick up one of the few unburnt books left and he’ll carry it with him, despite the fact that he’s professed that he doesn’t read.

He will, when he’s reunited with Aziraphale, call it, “a souvenir.”

As he steps out of the bookshop, the music says, “Find me somebody to love.”

It isn’t a coincidence.

Nor is it a coincidence that the next time we see him, he’ll be in a bar. He won’t care about the apocalypse anymore. He won’t care until he sees the spirit of an angel in the seat across from him. Until he learns that Aziraphale is still alive and here.

Because there’s no reason to save the world if he can’t be in it with Aziraphale.

At the end of the world, Aziraphale says, “Do something or I’ll never speak to you again.”

The very thought of it hurts Crowley. He can’t abide it, cannot sit there and do nothing and allow it to come to pass. He stops time, so that it cannot come to pass.

After the end of the world, they sit on a park bench together. Crowley says, “Your bookshop isn’t there anymore, remember? It burned down.” And he says it with more gentle compassion than a demon should be capable of.

Because the bookshop was important to Aziraphale and only Crowley can know just how important; his reminder is said in the tones of someone who is grieving with their loved one, for their loved one and what they have lost.

They change faces, but even with Aziraphale’s face, Crowley cannot stop himself from circling his angel. It’s instinctual now, the need to protect.

They act like each other and in many ways, they’ve gotten it right, but in many ways, they’ve gotten it wrong, too.

In Aziraphale’s eyes, Crowley is suave and cool and a little bit dangerous. He’s untouchable, unmatched.

In Crowley’s eyes, Aziraphale is calm and cool and collected. Aziraphale is strong and steady and brave.

After Heaven and Hell have been dealt with, they sit on a park bench together. They laugh. They discuss, in a more serious tone, what the future might bring. It’s left unsaid that they will face it together; that’s obvious at this point.

When they leave, they don’t part ways. They dine at the Ritz.

And in 2019, at a table for two that miraculously came available at the Ritz, Aziraphale says, “You’re a good person,” and for the first time, Crowley accepts it with a little smile.

“And you,” he says, “are [enough of a bastard to be] worth knowing.”

Aziraphale blushes, his smile self-conscious, but he is ultimately pleased.

“To the world,” Crowley says, and he means, to us.

“To the world,” Aziraphale echoes, and those three words are said with so much affection, so much love, that you don’t need to be told that he means something else entirely–that he’s saying something else entirely–to know it.

“I need them to be canon,” you say. “Just this once.”

They already are.

You’ve just been shown their love instead of told it.

#marveldaydreamer #greenberg replies #good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #long post #really fucking long post #i mean neil gaiman says it's written as a love story #but that's the LEAST validating part about the whole damn thing #look at them #look at every damn moment between them #THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP #their journey narratively speaking is enemies to acquaintances to colleagues (of a sort) to friends to something that is more than friends #It is quite literally 6000 years of a slow-burn romance

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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listen. are you listening? by 41 A.D., Aziraphale recognizes Crowley by voice alone.

ALSO by 41 A.D., Crowley has realized that he wants to bang Aziraphale stupid and is MAD about it.

“What kind of stupid question is that, ‘still a demon’? What else am I gonna be, an aadvark??”

That’s the first time we’ve ever seen Crowley be cross with Aziraphale and you can’t tell me that it isn’t a direct result of his crush unexpectedly popping up.

Have YOU ever been blindsided by someone you’re crushing on??? There’s no way to cope, you haven’t mentally or emotionally prepared yourself, and you fucking panic.

That whole conversation in Rome, it doesn’t go like any of their previous interactions, and I’m sorry, but you CANNOT convince me that it’s because of anything other than the fact that somewhere between Jesus’ death in 33 A.D. and their meeting eight years later in Rome, Crowley has realized that he wants to bang the enemy and he is trying his best to deny that very fact.

“Oh, well let me tempt you to--oh, no. No, that’s your job, isn’t it?”

look at that face. Look at it. That’s the face of a man that is mentally telling himself, “fuck it, I’m in love with this nerd.”

And then he spends the next TWO MILLENNIA being outrageously indulgent toward Aziraphale--I mean, really, using his power to give Hamlet an audience just because Aziraphale gives him That Look???--and doing his best to woo a very oblivious angel

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #ineffable husbands #spoilers #i've been forgetting that tag but i'm gonna go back and tag the rest of the stuff #IN OTHER NEWS LOOK AT MY NEW OTP #THEY'RE SO ADORABLE

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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The facts:

Aziraphale has to ask for Crowley’s name during their first meeting, but Crowley never has to ask for his

Crowley also knew that Aziraphale was supposed to have a flaming sword somewhere on his person

conclusion: that conversation on the wall of Eden was by no means an accident/chance encounter, Crowley absolutely did that shit on purpose, the thirsty ass motherfucker

and considering the fact that I still believe he didn’t realize he was attracted to Aziraphale until somewhere between 33 & 41 A.D., he did all of that without even knowing WHY he felt the need to, which is both adorable and hilarious

also, bonus:

“are you going to say ‘ineffable’?” he asks Aziraphale, as they stand before Noah’s ark, because he remembers every detail of their first conversation and can still recall it a thousand years later

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #spoilers #ineffable husbands #BABY'S FIRST CRUSH TBH

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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I think Crowley fell in love with Az on the wall of Eden and knew it from the beginning bc of all his acts of service. Az fell in love slowly and was first aware of his own feelings in 1601, but didn't realize C. felt the same way until the bombed church scene. When you have eternity, what are a few centuries? Then Az didn't want Crowley to get hurt with holy water, and he had to realize his own feelings in the Bentley. Armageddon was nigh, Az had to decide whether to act on it or not. 😇🖤😈

See, my favorite thing about these nerds is I don’t think they realized the moment they fell for the other one. I don’t think they realized it for ages.

Their moment of falling in love and their moment of realizing they’re in love are two different things and both of those things are completely separate from knowing that the other one feels the same. (To me!)

So, I agree with you that Crowley probably fell in love with Aziraphale standing on the wall of Eden.

I mean look at that face.

That is the face of a demon whose heart, upon hearing the words “I gave it away,” is now like, “oh no, I stan (1) angel.”

However, I think he realized that he had feelings for Aziraphale somewhere between 33 A.D. and 41 A.D.

I’ve talked about this before, but I shall talk about it again, BECAUSE WHY NOT

My point is:

That? That is his moment of acceptance in my mind. That is the moment he’s like, “fuck it, he’s too adorable, I guess we’re doing this now.”

The thing that absolutely fucking hurts me, right, is that Crowley is by far the more open of the two. He’s closed off in many, many ways, but he’s ultimately a tenderhearted nerd in love with a single being for thousands of years, accepts that, and spends those years indulging his love at every possible turn.

He is the softest demon and I love him.

Aziraphale is the one that is more buttoned-up emotionally. He’s the one that’s more reluctant to admit his feelings, the one that’s less likely to put himself out there emotionally, etc.

I think that’s due, in large part, to his severe anxiety, but it’s possible I’m just Projecting. It could also be due to the fact that Heaven doesn’t make him a priority at all and is very dismissive of his thoughts and feelings, so he tries not to pay attention to them too much. It’s the only way he can cope, really.

So for me, it’s harder to pin down exactly when Aziraphale actually started to have feelings for Crowley.

Hell, man, they’ve had those same bodies for 6,000 years and have also been on earth for 6,000 years, so the implication there is that they somehow got aboard Noah’s ark and were cooped up together for 40 days and 40 nights, plus the time it took for the water to recede, so maybe that’s what did it.

I mean, Aziraphale clearly likes Crowley well enough that he inquires about his new name in 33 A.D. when Crowley doesn’t readily offer it. And he also clearly likes him well enough to approach Crowley on his own in 41 A.D.

So far, we’ve seen Crowley spotting him first and approaching to strike up a conversation, but 41 A.D. is the first time we see Aziraphale spot Crowley first. And he doesn’t hesitate to approach and strike up a conversation, like Crowley does to him. In fact, he immediately leaves his seat and his game to do so.

So, that’s an important moment. That means that Aziraphale is feeling something for him.

That being said, I personally disagree about when Aziraphale knew he was in love. I definitely think it was the bombed church scene.

I mean, look at that face???? That is the expression of an angel so overwhelmed by such a swell of emotion that it’s impossible to ignore anymore.

He is in love.

As for when they realize that their feelings are returned? I have no idea. Not a clue. My answer literally changes depending on the day.

Crowley is fairly easy to pin down again. I feel like he knows either before or when Aziraphale gives him the holy water. That’s such a big thing–it was significant enough to be a huge fight between them–and for Aziraphale to cave and provide it, explicitly saying it’s because he needs Crowley to be safe, that’s—that’s significant.

So if Crowley doesn’t know before, he definitely knows then.

Aziraphale, again, is harder for me to pin down. I’d like to think that he knows by that same conversation, because, “You go too fast for me, Crowley,” is such a gorgeous line and it’s even more gorgeous if you think about it from the terms of the two of them absolutely being on the same page and just not saying it.

That being said, Aziraphale’s reaction in the bandstand scene is too significant to ignore.

I mean look at that.

I can’t see that face and think that he knew before.

Because you know what the alternative is, right?

The alternative is that he knows that Crowley thinks he has feelings, but Aziraphale just knows that they aren’t real.

He could think that Crowley isn’t capable of real love, which a lot of people seem to like, or he could think that Crowley’s feelings are superficial at best–a surface-level affection that would never be anything more–and Crowley, unused to such emotions, is mistaking affection for real, true love.

Aziraphale has spent 6,000 years watching Crowley not really be serious about anything. Crowley lives his life in the fast lane, he does stuff without thinking about the consequences, he’s impulsive, he’s seemingly care-free.

Whatever Crowley may think he feels, Aziraphale thinks, it’s certainly nothing genuine or real. He’s mistaking a general affection for romantic love.

And he might not even think that because Crowley is a demon. It could just be because Aziraphale never thought he was good enough to be loved like that.

But then the bandstand happens. Then Crowley suggests that they abandon their respective sides, abandon Earth and the impending apocalypse, and just. Run away together.

And that moment of shock is Aziraphale fully understanding for the first time how wrong he’d been. That’s the face of an angel who’s realizing that everything he’s craved is standing right there in front of him, arms wide open, just waiting for him to accept it.

But this is Aziraphale and Aziraphale instinctively rejects the things that he wants because he thinks he doesn’t deserve them. So he tells Crowley “no,” and “it’s over,” even though it’s the opposite of what he wants.

#memprime #greenberg replies #long post #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #kedreeva wants me to piggyback off of this #and writing some devastating aziraphale feels #so be on the look out for THAT post of utter heartbreak

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greenbergsays · 5 years

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The following meta is based exclusively on my last meta post, where I parroted the idea that Aziraphale did, indeed, know of Crowley’s feelings by 1967 when he hands over the holy water.

It is also written for @kedreeva, who wanted it written and who badgered me until it was put to proverbial paper.

The idea here is that while Aziraphale knows that Crowley has feelings for him, he is of the opinion that Crowley only thinks that he is in love with Aziraphale but isn’t actually.

There are two theories posed within the last post for why that is, but there is a third theory which I did not pose and which this post is based around.

To present this theory, however, we must first talk about Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven. There is an extremely nice meta that already talks about it in detail, but I hope you won’t hold it against me if I lay it out again for you here.

Everything we see of Aziraphale’s relationship with Heaven is negative. It’s not just negative, though, it’s toxic and I don’t really think I’m being dramatic when I say it’s abusive. Let’s talk about every interaction we see between Aziraphale and Heaven.

Interaction #1: Aziraphale is out for sushi, Gabriel visits him to announce the impending Apocalypse. What happens during that visit?

Gabriel shames Aziraphale for consuming food, refers to eating as “sullying” the celestial body, and then proceeds to tell Aziraphale how to do his job, despite the fact that Aziraphale has literally been doing it for 6,000 years.

Interaction #2: After the release of the Hell Hound, Gabriel and Sandalphon visit Aziraphale in his shop. Their expressions are incredulous as if they cannot fathom the point of this little hobby of Aziraphale’s.

Gabriel mocks humans, the beings that Aziraphale clearly loves. He claims not to know what a book is and embarrasses Aziraphale in front of the only customers in the shop that we ever see--something that could very well be intentional. That there were witnesses to see Aziraphale being embarrassed by Gabriel as he yells about buying porn from someone who is a rare books dealer.

Interaction #3: Aziraphale hatches and executes a plan to sway the Antichrist toward the light in an attempt to avoid Armageddon. How does Heaven respond?

With a patronizing round of applause and not one but two Archangels telling him that his plan is doomed to failure. Not a single one of them has any faith that he can achieve his goal. More than that, they don’t want him to succeed.

Interaction #4: Aziraphale, caught between his loyalty to Crowley and his loyalty to Heaven, tries to warn the Archangels that the boy they think is the Antichrist? Is not the Antichrist at all.

Not only does each and every one of their expressions range from detached confusion to outright annoyance while he talks. They don’t want to humor this discussion of his, and in fact, they barely do until he implies that Hell tricked him for eleven years. They barely blinked when he said that Hell might have misplaced the Antichrist, but they actually start to question him when he says it might have been a ruse.

But in the end, they dismiss him completely. Gabriel tells him that they have better things to do than entertain his ‘hypotheticals.’

Interaction #5: Aziraphale calls on Gabriel once again to try and prevent Armageddon. How does Gabriel respond? By dismissing him once again and then body-shaming him by telling him to “lose the gut.”

He comes back to bring up the flaming sword, asking, “You didn’t lose that, did you?”

Of course, we know that Aziraphale gave it away, and for good reason, and this is part of the joke. But from Gabriel’s side, it just sounds like he thinks Aziraphale is careless. That he doesn’t know how to take care of his things, like a child.

Interaction #6: Aziraphale’s relationship with Crowley is more or less found out.

Up until this point, Heaven’s abuse has mostly been mental, emotional, and/or psychological variety. This is where it turns abusive.

The Archangels, sans Gabriel, use physical violence in an almost casual manner against Aziraphale, even though he isn’t trying to escape or physically resist them in any way. They literally have him backed against a wall and surrounded. He isn’t doing anything but standing there and yet Sandalphon still decides to hit him.

The other interactions are brief, but more of the same.

Gabriel tells him to shut his mouth during Armageddon in a voice that very much says “the adults are talking.”

They don’t give him a trial in Heaven, they simply condemn him.

Gabriel (again) tells him to “shut your stupid mouth and die already.”

The point is: Aziraphale’s thoughts, his feelings, and his passions are dismissed, ridiculed, and demeaned by Heaven.

For at least 6,000 years, Aziraphale has been shown that he is unworthy. He is less, and for what reason? Because he’s a Principality and not an Archangel? Because he was assigned to Earth? There’s no reason whatsoever for him to be treated the way he is. (There’s no reason to ever treat someone like that.)

Aziraphale still tries, though. For 6,000 years, he tries. He tries to do the right thing. He tries to please these toxic influences in his life. He tries to be seen, heard, valued. He tries, and when Heaven inevitably responds in the same way, he internalizes.

He doesn’t let it show, not really. Yes, his disappointment is reflected, but not the pang in his heart, the cramping of his gut, the dimming of his ethereal aura, the ache in his soul. Those things that say, See? I told you. I told you.

And that is why Aziraphale doesn’t believe that Crowley feels anything true for him. Crowley isn’t subtle, of course. He is open in a way that Aziraphale isn’t. But Aziraphale rebukes him at every turn, draws a line in the sand and keeps them on either side of it. Because whatever Crowley thinks he feels, it isn’t real. It can’t be.

Which brings us to the bandstand break-up. It brings us to this:

Aziraphale’s scoffing little breath, his dismissive, Listen to yourself.

Crowley is offering him everything, and he can’t accept it. He’s upset with himself for even entertaining it for the few precious moments that he does.

Because he knows that he won’t be able to survive it when Crowley sees him for who he truly is. He won’t be able to put himself back together--not completely--if he lets himself have this, if he lets himself believe, and then the inevitable happens.

Crowley walking away because he realizes what Heaven has been teaching Aziraphale for 6,000 years. What Aziraphale suspects must’ve been true since he gave away a flaming sword and God’s light went out as he stood in front of the gates of Eden:

That Aziraphale is undeserving. He is undeserving of God’s light. Of Heaven’s faith. Of even a demon’s love.

#good omens #the nice and accurate ramblings of desdemona greenberg #aziraphale #for kedreeva

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