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tainsan · 10 months

Text

misfits V

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

warnings: nothing much, cursing, a little bit of rudeness to mc

word count: 6.4k

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⇢ taglist: @lilactangerine @plutoneu @abby-grace @sunkissed725 @lixiel0ver @acciocriativity @hyukssunflower @sunukissed @khjcoo @stopeatread @meginthebuilding27 @mychickentendou @sunnyhokyu @rxnexxi @croa-yevon @arabelleum @randomness7198 @dysftopia @lucymultistan @sookacc @starillusion13 @daceydeath @theamazinggrace-00 @smilingtokki @hasgalore @pytssamworld @just-a-really-bored-kpop-fan @satsuri3su @theonesoldtoonedirection @wooya1224 @deadpoetsandhoney @skztrophy @kunhengie @tinyelfperson @l0vetiny @simplyalfie @doggopepper @seungily @dino-teezerr @silentcry329 @formulateez @senpai-of-doom @aaaaajonghooooo @ijwsbdinp @liniiiaa @channiespup @heyitstacy @eightmakesonebraincell

{if you asked to be in the taglist and dont see your name, i am incredibly sorry but your account cannot be tagged.}

⇢a/n: I am going to be on vacation for two weeks from today onwards, so I thought it was very necessary for me to give you this chapter before I leave! I hope you enjoy it and remember you are loved.

this chapter is dedicated to my love @l0vetiny <3

--- THIS IS AN 18+ STORY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

“Are you kidding me?” You say to yourself as you open your moisturiser, only to be met with an empty bottle.

Two days have passed since Yeosang entered your room and stayed with you until sleep overtook your weary form. Waking up to find your room devoid of any remnants of trash and the lingering smell of takeaway food, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of embarrassment. You hadn't expected him to take care of the aftermath, and it made you aware of his thoughtfulness and consideration. The memories of that evening remain hazy, but they replay in your mind, each memory imprinted with a mixture of warmth and vulnerability.

The tight embrace you shared and the heartfelt conversations that unfolded spoke volumes about Yeosang's attentive nature. He listened intently to every word you uttered, taking a few moments to craft thoughtful replies, revealing not only his intelligence but also his preference for responding with focus and precision.

Amidst the growing familiarity with the boys, you find yourself caught in a confusing situation. On one hand, their caring nature towards you defies the warnings and negative perceptions that surround them. It's a contradiction that leaves you pondering the legitimacy of the rumours. A part of you wishes to scream to the world, yelling that what they see isn't true. Yet, deep down, you can't dismiss the possibility that there might be valid reasons behind their guarded and adverse attitudes towards others.

In the midst of these conflicting thoughts, you question your own place in their lives. What makes you so special that they let you in with such ease? The weight of this question, coupled with the overwhelming flood of information, exhausts your mind. Though you have the opportunity to ask any of them about their behaviour, a sense of hesitation lingers, fearing that you may come across as nosy or pushy. The questions swirl within your head, thoughts that keep you restless at night, yet you recognize the need to find a balance. Reminding yourself that it's not your business, you attempt to calm the rising storm in your mind, pushing the thoughts aside.

Redirecting your focus, you turn towards the mirror before you, resuming your train of thought, with Yeosang at the forefront of your mind.

Since that evening with Yeosang, you've shared two dinners together. Last night, Wooyoung surprised you with a mouth watering creamy pasta dish that left you in awe. Interest got the better of you, and you couldn't help but ask him how he managed to make it taste so good. His playful response, accompanied by a wink and the teasing words "it comes with a price," igniting a spark of curiosity within you, causing your mind to wander into some rather… interesting thoughts.

You've come to realize that Wooyoung is quite the flirt, expert at drawing reactions from people. It seems like you've inadvertently become his new target of playful banter. While you appreciate that he knows his boundaries, every light-hearted innuendo, no matter how strong, sends your mind spinning in countless directions. It's a refreshing experience to have someone use such words with you, as you've never really encountered anyone who flirted with you before, apart from the occasional drunk man at a bar or a rude boy from your high school days. Yet with Wooyoung, there's no sense of disgust or discomfort. His playful comments leave you feeling warm, your heart skipping a beat in response.

In the mornings, you've found comfort in conversations with Jongho before heading off to school. It becomes apparent that he is an early riser, always seated at the kitchen counter with a cup of coffee or a bowl of cereal, engrossed in a YouTube video. Despite the early hour, he's always impeccably dressed, showered, and ready, while you struggle to drag yourself out of bed and make your way to the kitchen for a snack from the fridge. You admire his sense of organization and punctuality, secretly aspiring to be as put together as him in the future, even if you have no immediate plans to start. Reflecting on a pleasant morning from yesterday, a warm smile graces your features.

---

“You look like you need a coffee and an energy drink,” Jongho tells you, humour evident in his voice, “in the nicest way possible, of course.”

Jongho descends the stairs and enters the kitchen, his presence catching your attention. Dressed in black jeans that accentuate his physique, he exudes a sense of effortless style. A plain blazer jacket is worn over a crisp white shirt, completing his polished look. The monochromatic outfit enhancing his natural charm, leaving you momentarily captivated by his presence.

“How do you manage to look so presentable this early in the morning?” You question, resting your forehead against the cold marble of the island.

“Are you saying I look good?” Jongho questions as he takes a seat opposite from you, a teasing smile on his face.

“I’d tell you to shut up, but I’m convinced you’re a psychopath seeing as you’re up and ready for school two hours before it begins, so I’ll watch my mouth.” You joke, sending a playful smile back in the direction of the youngest male. He lets out a hearty laugh, making you feel somewhat delighted he found you funny.

“Why are you up this early?” Jongho asks, “seeing as you clearly aren’t a said psychopath.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” you answer honestly, seeing a concerned look cover Jongho’s features. You want to reassure him you’re completely fine, yet you can’t seem to find the energy to lie to him.

“Something going on in your head?” The male questions, glancing at your smaller frame, hunched over a cup of coffee. Jongho can see that the cup is no longer hot, and he concludes that you have been up for quite a while. He can’t help as the worries in his mind intensify deeply, hoping that you’re not feeling too bad.

“Just some stress with my assignments, I guess. It seems like they are never ending.” You admit, telling the half-truth. Knowing the real reason for your sleepless nights is the reoccurring nightmares you have almost every night. Every so often you have a period of time where you have the same nightmare, it only comes when you are stressed and due to the recent events in your life, they have started coming again, much to your dismay. Luckily, they haven’t been as bad as usual, yet you can’t help but fear when they get out of control, not knowing how handle it alone, and not really fancying telling any of your new roommates, not knowing how they would react.

A soft sigh escapes Jongho's lips as he senses that there is more to the story, an underlying concern or burden that weighs on your mind. He refrains from prying for answers, recognizing the importance of patience and respect in allowing you to open up and share your worries when you are ready. His comforting presence assures you that he will be there, ready to listen and support you whenever you feel comfortable enough to confide in him.

“For what it’s worth, you can always come to me if you need someone to confide in.”

As you gaze up at Jongho, his face adorned with a sorrowful smile, you're drawn to the depths of his eyes, where an unclear emotion resides. The impact of his presence on your being is strange, yet it stirs something deep within you. Tears threaten to well up in the corners of your eyes as a profound sense of safety envelopes you like a comforting embrace. It's as if a warm blanket of protection wraps around you, providing support in the face of your inner chaos. Jongho, perceptive as ever, notices the appreciative glimmer in your eyes, and it tugs at the strings of his own heart, deepening the connection between you.

“Would you like a fresh coffee?” He asks, standing up towards the coffee machine, clearing the thick air that has risen suddenly.

Smiling at him, you nod your head, “yes please.”

---

Mingi's sweet nature is undeniable, and his actions speak volumes. Despite his schedule not requiring an early start, he willingly walks with you to campus, showing genuine interest in getting to know you better. He engages you in small conversations, asking questions to gain a deeper understanding of who you are as a person. Mingi finds joy in simply conversing with you, relieved that you don't recoil in fear from his intimidating exterior. He's accustomed to people shrinking away when they see him, assuming he's rough and unkind, but with you, he yearns for you to see beyond that façade. Mingi wants you to witness his true self, someone who cares deeply for his friends and strives for their happiness as well as his own.

When you respond to Mingi's questions, he enthusiastically observes the way your eyes light up when discussing certain topics. He stores these details in his memory, intent on remembering the things that spark your interests. Mingi's genuine curiosity and genuine desire to connect with you make you feel seen and valued, fostering a growing bond between the two of you.

The rest of the guys you haven’t particularly seen much, you did see catch a glimpse of Seonghwa near the canteen, and part of you was tempted to approach him and engage in a conversation, eager to reconnect after the incident at the failed dinner. However, you quickly realised that the area is bustling with more people than usual, and the attention that may accompany your interaction prevents you from approaching him. You decide to give him some space momentarily, but as you watch him, you notice a visible shift in his mood.

Seonghwa takes out his phone, and an obvious change washes over his expression, morphing from his usual sweetness to a scowl. His eyes dart across the screen with frustration, his fingers moving aggressively as he types a message. This stark contrast to the kind-hearted man you encountered just days ago leaves you curious about what could be causing his heated state. Sensing the tension radiating from him, you opt not to move closer, aware that many others have already taken notice of his foul mood. Instead, you observe silently, careful not to attract his attention or even glance in his direction.

During yesterday's dinner, your anxiety about being in the same space as Yunho was met with a surprising turn of events. Throughout the entire meal, he remained unusually quiet and avoided making eye contact with you, choosing to speak only when necessary. However, when he did speak, there was a noticeable absence of snarky comments or rude behaviour. Instead, his responses were simple and concise.

For the rest, you have only seen them during dinner. With a desire to get to know each of them individually, you've made mental plans to meet with the members separately. However, you find it challenging to figure out how to approach them individually, as they are often seen together, either in pairs or as a group. It seems that finding one of them alone is a rare occurrence.

Despite the cold and piercing gaze, he directed towards you whenever your eyes met, you couldn't help but feel a sense of cheerfulness. This change in his demeanour, however small, represented progress in your eyes. You understood that building trust and establishing a connection takes time, and in that moment, even the slightest positive change felt like a victory. While you recognized that true progress can't be achieved overnight, you held onto the hope that this was just the beginning.

You witness Seonghwa dialling a number on his phone, then raising it to his ear. Without hesitation, he storms out of the space, his departure marked by a sense of urgency. The sight leaves you with unanswered questions, contemplating what might have triggered such a reaction and deciding to give him the space he seems to require in that moment.

As you were called upon for dinner today, a sense of surprise washed over you when you noticed Yunho's absence. His usual spot at the table remained unoccupied, leaving a void in the gathering. It was unexpected, as you had grown accustomed to his presence, even during the tumultuous moments. The absence of his familiar figure sparked a mix of emotions within you, curiosity, concern, and even a tinge of disappointment.

You couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't there. Was he occupied with something urgent, or did he intentionally choose to be petty and distance himself? The questions lingered in your mind, causing a slight unease.

“Where is Yunho?” You question as you sit down, wondering where the tall black-haired male was.

“He has something, he can’t make it today.” Mingi explains, looking down at his plate awfully sorrowful for some reason. You go to ask, but can’t get the words out, not wanting to pry or appear nosy. It is evident there is some sort of sorrow hung around the boys and you can’t help but wonder where their cheery selves have disappeared to.

As the dinner progresses, Hongjoong strongly observes your attitude, noticing the tinge of disappointment or sadness in your expression due to Yunho's absence. It sparks a curiosity within him, causing questions to circle in his mind. He wonders what might have transpired that would make you care about Yunho's presence and whereabouts.

Hongjoong deliberates silently, unsure whether he should inquire about it now or wait for a more opportune moment when the two of you are alone. He doesn't want to put you on the spot or add unnecessary pressure by discussing it in front of everyone. However, he's well aware that the sudden shift in your attitude towards Yunho has caught the attention of others in the room, leaving them equally curious. In the end, Hongjoong decides to respect your privacy and wait for a more suitable time to approach you.

Although you are not particularly fond of Yunho, you couldn't help but wonder about his whereabouts during the dinner. You even find a small part of yourself hoping that he has at least eaten something, despite the mixed emotions you held for him. It was in these moments that you felt a pang of self-reproach for even caring, knowing that if the roles were reversed, Yunho would likely wish for you to starve.

After tonight's dinner, you found yourself in the kitchen, demanding to help Wooyoung and Mingi with the dishes. However, they quickly dismissed your assistance, insisting that you should "sit down and look pretty," as Wooyoung teasingly put it. His mischievous smirk was hard to ignore, and you couldn't help but react to his playful remark. As they proceeded to tackle the task at hand, you observed with amusement as Wooyoung washed the dishes while Mingi diligently dried them, skilfully putting everything back in its designated place. It was a delightful sight to behold.

To enhance the atmosphere, they had songs playing through a hidden surround sound speaker, surprising you with their hidden musical setup. They even allowed you to take charge of selecting the songs, genuinely interested in your music taste, and complimenting your choices. The kitchen was filled with lively tunes, making the whole experience enjoyable and light-hearted.

As the last dish was dried and put away, Wooyoung and Mingi bid you farewell, mentioning their impending assignments that needed attention. It served as a reminder for you to tackle your own academic tasks. Thankfully, the comparative essay you had to submit was relatively straightforward and could be completed within a short span of twenty to thirty minutes. Of course, you allowed yourself a few much-needed breaks to browse through TikTok, finding moments of relaxation amidst your productivity. You finish within no time, and decide it is time to get to sleep.

Which now leads you to your current dilemma. Just as you had imagined, your moisturiser ran out and you are in desperate need of something to keep your face from cracking up and becoming as dry as the Sahara Desert. You wonder if you can ask one of the boys for a face cream? No, they are likely going to be asleep, you distinctly remember them all saying they had an early start and needed to sleep after dinner, or they were studying for important exams, and you did not want to be the one to break their concentration, knowing how annoying it can be. Looking down at your phone you see it is 21:27, nine twenty-seven. The supermarket where you buy your cream from is a ten-minute walk away, and it closes at ten.

With the intention of leaving promptly, you hurriedly gather your belongings, not forgetting your phone and wallet. Pulling on a cosy hoodie and slipping into oversized sweatpants to cover your sleeping shorts, you ensure that you are sufficiently dressed for the chilly weather outside.

As you made your way towards the kitchen, your pace suddenly halts as your eyes land on a familiar figure seated at the island. It was none other than Yunho, his broad frame occupying the space. This sight surprises you, as you had anticipated him to head straight to his bedroom upon returning home from his day's activities. Curiosity piqued, you wonder if he needs food, hoping that the boys had left him some.

‘What are you thinking, this man hates you? Stop caring so much about his wellbeing.’ You shout at yourself mentally, wondering why you even mind about him. No matter how eagerly you've tried to harbour hatred towards Yunho, an overwhelming force ruins your efforts, stumping your mind and producing endless contemplation. Despite your tireless search for answers, the obscure reasons behind your inability to raise even a trace of loathing towards him remain unresolved. This lingering inquiry persists, chewing at your consciousness and compelling you to seek transparency amid the haze of your thoughts.

With an intense desire to evade any encounter with Yunho, you navigate around the kitchen with a careful blend of stealth and accuracy, determined to make a swift exit without finding yourself alone in his presence. The mere thought of being in close proximity to him, without protective company of the others, produces an unsettling mix of unease and nervous anticipation, coiling like a knot of anxiety deep within the pit of your stomach. Just as you're about to make your escape, a voice cuts through the air, halting your movements. It's the voice of the very man you were hoping to evade.

“Where are you going?”

It seems luck is not on your side today. A surge of frustration engulfs you as the expectation of enduring Yunho's taunting and belittlement comes over you, especially when you're already feeling messy and self-conscious about your appearance.

With a hesitant turn, you prepare yourself for the anticipated encounter with the familiar man that frequently exudes hatred and rage. Yet, to your astonishment, the sight that meets your gaze defies all expectations. Yunho's appearance bears an unexpected gentleness and stillness, without of any indication of hostility. Instead, his weary and swollen eyes hint at the possibility of recent tears shed. Caught off guard by this realization, you find yourself momentarily startled and at a loss for words.

Yunho's gaze travels over your dishevelled state, and a small, almost invisible chuckle escapes his lips.

“Um, I’m quickly going to the supermarket.” You answer, your voice quiet, not knowing how to speak to the suddenly unfamiliar man in front of you, not wanting him to explode and say some rude things.

“It’s almost ten, are you so desperate for attention that you’re willing to get kidnapped?” Yunho questions, raising his eyebrow, the familiar expression of hatred has now returned, but you notice it’s not as intense as usual, you conclude this to him possibly being fatigued. At least you now know that Yunho isn’t so mean when he’s exhausted.

“I need a face cream, mine has run out.”

“You can’t spend a day without it?” Yunho scoffs, speculating why you are so set on going out late at night for such a minuscule product. For a moment, he values your determination.

“No, actually. My skin gets dry very fast, and I’d rather not wake up with my skin red and peeling.”

Confused, you know Yunho has little to no care for you, so him asking questions has you rather intrigued. It’s not like he’s concerned about you, is he?

“What supermarket are you going to?’’ Yunho interrogates you, causing you to almost roll your eyes at his mountain of questions. When you answer, he returns your eye roll, mockingly causing your heart to speed up with anxiety, hoping he doesn’t suddenly blow up in your face. He continues, “that place is dangerous to go at this time, just go in the morning.”

“Why do you care if it’s dangerous?” You ask, slightly irritated he is telling you what to do, when you know, he would probably watch and enjoy feeding you to a pool of starving piranhas.

With confidence radiating from his towering figure, Yunho rises from the barstool and strides purposefully toward you. He's well aware of the advantage his height gives him, and a subtle grin forms on his lips as he notices your slight instinct to shrink back in response to his imposing presence.

“I don’t care, but the seven other people in this house do, so I can’t let you go out because then I will have to deal with another beratement from Hongjoong, which again would be your fault.”

Yunho has a point; you know the others would be uneasy letting you out this late alone. Although it makes you giddy that they care about you, yet you can’t seem to focus on that at this moment in time, only wanting to get your face cream as soon as possible, really not wanting to see what happens when your skin gets dry. Then, you get an incredibly devious idea.

“Come with me then.” You say bluntly, crossing your arms and looking up at Yunho who is only a few feet away from you. Staggered at your unexpected request, he raises his eyebrow at you.

“And who said I would ever agree to that?’’ Yunho says cockily and mimics you, crossing his arms across his chest, smirking. He leans down to meet your eyes, which is quite a lot now you notice, thinking he has the upper hand he speaks out again, “I don’t have to do anything you tell me to do.”

Yunho experiences a trace of astonishment as he observes your unwavering expression, finding himself unable to understand why you don't recoil like you did the first time he directed his insolence towards you. In that fleeting moment, a hint of admiration flits across his features, recognizing the way in which you maintain your composure.

“That’s true, you don’t have to. But I’m sure Hongjoong and the others would love to hear all about how you made me go out at ten all by myself.”

Yunho's initial arrogance is quickly replaced by a mixture of surprise and admiration as he witnesses your unwavering composure and your skilful manoeuvre to turn the tables on him. He can't help but be impressed by your ability to stand your ground and outwit him, even if it means he falls right into the trap you've set. In that moment, he realizes that there is much more to you than meets the eye.

“Who says I’m not busy, tiny?” Yunho inquires, standing back to his full height, still with his arms crossed. The familiar nickname catches you off guard, triggering a rush of memories in your mind as you try to pinpoint where you've heard it before. The way it rolls off his tongue stirs something deep within you, causing your heart to flutter and warmth to spread through your entire being. Briefly furrowing your eyebrows, you gather your thoughts and regain your composure, determined not to let this unexpected surge of emotions overpower your calm exterior.

“Yunho, there is nothing busy about watching animal videos on TikTok,” you deadpan, turning around and already heading for the door, “plus you already have your coat on.”

Yunho can feel his cheeks turn pink as he looks back at his phone placed on the counter, displaying a video of a fluffy cat playing with a toy mouse. He mentally faces palms as he grabs his phone and shutting off TikTok, wanting to uninstall it immediately. Grumbling incoherently, he begrudgingly follows you out of the house and towards the supermarket.

As the walk progresses, the suffocating weight of silence becomes increasingly difficult, convincing you to take the initiative and attempt to initiate a conversation. The palpable awkwardness between you and Yunho lingers in the air, casting a shadow over your interaction. Driven by the desire to ease the suffocating tension, you gather your thoughts and carefully search for a suitable topic to raise, hoping to bring a sense of relief.

“So, you like cats?” You ask, slightly giggling still at the video you remember seeing on Yunho’s phone.

“I do not want to talk to you right now.” Yunho grumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets and grimacing at his small mistake of not shutting his phone off before talking to you. He internally curses you for being so observant.

“Did you eat today?” You question, curious as to why you’re suddenly worried about his health. Yunho's eyes flicker towards you, observing your appearance as you maintain your gaze ahead, occasionally stealing glances at your shoes or your hands clasped in front of you. He takes a moment to study your expression, sensing a genuine concern coming from you. A fleeting sensation tugs at his heart, momentarily stirring his emotions, before he quickly suppresses it with a subtle cough. Redirecting his focus back to the path ahead, he responds to your question, his tone measured and guarded.

“I ate before I came home.” He answers with little to no emotion present in his tone.

“Where did you go today?” You look up at him, curious as to where he has spent the day, pondering what the notorious Jeong Yunho does in his spare time.

“You ask a lot of questions.” Yunho’s voice is slightly sharp as he speaks, yet for a split second he feels bad when he notices you flinch from his words. Letting out a sigh, he decides to answer, “I went to see my brother.”

“That’s nice. Did you get to talk about a lot?” Memories fill your mind of your own younger brother, a faint memory of him smiling bringing a soft smile to your own features.

Yunho's steady gaze remains fixed upon you, captivated by the sincere curiosity radiating from your eyes. Within the depths of his chest, a subtle yet strange twinge tugs at his heart, creating a faint tightening sensation. Amidst the whirlwind of conflicting thoughts swirling in his mind, an baffling force urges him to continue speaking, even as his instincts tempt him to remain guarded or retort with yet another malicious remark.

“Well, we didn’t get to talk much.” Yunho admits, causing him to curse over and over again in his mind. ‘Stop talking Yunho,’ he says to himself.

“Oh? Are you two not on good terms?” Yunho tries to be quiet again, yet when he once again sees the cute, pure gleam in your eye that he has been so desperate to ignore and avoid, another brick from his tall strong wall breaks off.

“He’s dead. I went to his grave.” Yunho admits, his heart clenching at the thought of his brother.

As the realization dawns upon you, you feel a pang of regret for your endless questions. Understanding the source of Yunho's bloodshot eyes, you berate yourself for not connecting the dots earlier. Knowing all too well the weight of the emotions Yunho must be carrying, you instinctively reach out to provide comfort.

“I’m sorry for pushing, I know it can be hard to talk about,”

“What would you know? All you do is ask questions.” Yunho’s voice is harsh, just like what you’re used to, yet this time it somehow hits harder than before, his words piercing your heart, causing it to feel like it’s cracking. The weight of Yunho's harsh words lingers in the air, causing a mix of emotions to surge within you. Hurt, guilt, and anger intertwine, leaving you at a loss for words. How could he be so heartless, failing to recognize the pain that others may have experienced? The insensitivity cuts deep, hurts your heart as you struggle to process his sudden change in behaviour. Luckily, you reach the store before you can retort to his comment.

In the dimly lit aisles of the late-night store, you fervently search for the face cream. Despite your best efforts, the memory of the rude interaction with Yunho lingers in your mind, tugging at your emotions.

Meticulously scanning through each product, your fingers lightly graze the sleek packaging, fighting against the surging waves of frustration and hurt that bounce around your consciousness. Desperately trying to group up your feelings, you urge yourself to focus solely on the task at hand.

The store buzzes with a quiet hum, its emptiness accentuating the solitude you are feeling. You can hear the distant hum of the refrigerators and the occasional rustling of merchandise being restocked. Determined to drown out the echoing thoughts of Yunho's cutting remarks, you fixate on the labels and brand names, hoping that the physical act of searching would offer you a temporary respite from the emotional war within.

Finally discovering the face cream, you hold it in your hands, observing its packaging with a mix of detachment and longing. The coldness of the bottle offers a temporary contrast to the heat of your conflicted emotions. Taking a deep breath, you attempt to silence the inner voice that replays Yunho's words over and over again.

With determination, you approach the counter, your steps echoing faintly in the quiet store. As you approach the cashier, you can't help but notice their curious gaze fixed upon you, sensing the charged energy surrounding you.

Leaving the store, you clutch the bag containing the face cream as you push open the door, stepping out into the cool night air, determined to shield yourself from the echoes of the rude interaction with Yunho, even if just for a while longer.

With the transaction complete, you exit the store, relieved to leave the uncomfortable encounter behind. The sound of the door locking behind you makes you realise you must have been the final customer.

The cool evening air embraces you as you step out of the store, scanning your surroundings for Yunho. Your eyes lock onto his figure, standing quite a few paces away, positioned in front of an alleyway. He's engrossed in his phone, his fingers moving rapidly across the screen, his brows furrowed in a mix of frustration and concentration. The glow of the streetlight casts a soft, golden glow upon him, emphasizing the sharp angles of his face and highlighting the smoothness of his skin. Despite the tension in his appearance, there's an undeniable attractiveness to him that catches your attention.

You find yourself momentarily captivated by his features, acknowledging the undeniable attractiveness that radiates from him. It's clear that he possesses a natural allurement that would easily draw people in. However, the attitude he has displayed towards you has undeniably altered your perception of him. His coldness and snarky remarks have created a barrier that prevents any romantic thoughts from taking root. If he were kinder and more approachable, you can't help but admit to yourself that you could have developed a crush on him.

Shaking off the momentary and somewhat absurd thoughts, you gather your composure and take hesitant steps towards him. As your presence nears, Yunho quickly shoves his phone into the pocket of his coat, his actions revealing a flicker of self-consciousness.

The atmosphere is still noticeably uptight from the prior conversation, and you can tell Yunho feels the tenseness as he clears his throat multiple times before beginning to stroll home. It takes about three minutes before Yunho manages to say something, and what comes from his mouth is extremely unexpected.

“I’m sorry.” He says, looking down at his hands which he is very clearly fiddling with. His harsh exterior melts away ever so slightly and you find yourself cursing at your own words from earlier, ‘if he was kinder, you could probably…’ you shake your head to dismiss those thoughts, knowing damn well you could never even think of liking Yunho.

Gazing up at him, you look at him incredulously, as if he has gone mad or he is very sick. Detecting your eyes on him, he glances down at your tinier figure and spots the gobsmacked expression on your face, in which he rolls his eyes. Instead of saying the snarky remark on the tip of your tongue, you decide this is not the time to be ill-mannered, especially since the Jeong Yunho just apologised to you.

“You know,” you begin, debating whether or not you should say what is begging to be released from your mouth. Yunho’s eyes light up with slight curiosity, wondering what it is you mean to say, and you feel your wall coming down.

“My brother died not too long ago,” you say, looking forward, too scared to see the reaction of the man to the left of you.

Yunho's brows knit together, his expression clouded with a mix of frustration and inner chaos. He can feel his heart constricting within his chest, a painful sensation as he clenches his hands into tight fists. His nails dig into his palms, an attempt to ground himself during the flood of emotions that flood over him. The weight of his own words hangs heavily in the air, the sting of his harsh remarks echoing through his mind. A wave of guilt washes over Yunho as he realizes the irony of the situation. He had lashed out at you, assuming that you couldn't possibly understand the pain and struggles he has faced. Yet, in that moment, it becomes painfully clear that you are dealing with your own share of hardships. The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, intensifying his remorse for his hurtful words.

“I just thought I’d tell you. So, you know you’re not alone.” Your voice is soft and even Yunho can’t help the way his eyes water slightly, confused out of his mind. How is it you are acting so kind to him after all the shit he has said and done to you.

“Are you always this friendly?” Yunho questions, his voice low and steady, yet he swears his words were trembling, his heart racing as he looks at your side profile.

“Only to those who deserve it.” You respond, as you stand before Yunho, a mixture of confusion and intrigue swirls within you. It baffles you how you have managed to open up to him, to confide in someone who had once seemed so distant and unapproachable. The shift in your perception of him leaves you feeling both surprised and strangely safe in his presence. You reflect on the questionable situations he has put you through, the initial dislike you held towards him when you first met, and yet, here you are, drawn to him with a newfound curiosity.

There is something about Yunho that enchants you, something that grabs your interest and leaves you feeling vulnerable. Despite his past behaviour and the knowledge that he can be a ticking time bomb, tonight has revealed a different side of him. In this moment, you are able to see beyond his façade, beyond the mask of aggression and defiance. What stands before you now, is a lost soul, a boy facing with his own emotional chaos and struggling to navigate the difficulties of his inner world. It's a mirror image of the parts within yourself that you have tried to suppress.

There is an uncanny familiarity between the two of you, a connection that resonates on a deeper level. You recognize the similarities between his guarded nature and your own tendencies to push people away. It's as if he reflects the struggles you have faced, the walls you have built to protect yourself. While you are still cautious about fully trusting Yunho after his hurtful words and actions, there is a glimmer of something genuine that you now see within him.

Yunho's feels as if his walls are starting to crack, revealing the exposed spirit that lies beneath. He is not inherently mean or cruel; he is simply wounded, carrying the weight of his own pain. The loss of his brother might explain some of his struggles, but you can't shake the feeling that there is more to his story, something yet unknown to you. It leaves you with a mixture of empathy and a desire to uncover the truth, to understand the complications that lie beneath his tough exterior.

In this moment, as you observe Yunho standing before you, you are faced with a choice. Will you allow yourself to be drawn further into his world, to unravel the layers that surround him, or will you keep your guard up, wary of the potential pain that may come with it? The answer remains uncertain, but the intrigue and the glimpse of vulnerability you have witnessed leave you unable to ignore the pull that tugs at your heart.

Yunho's chest tightens as a whirlwind of emotions sweeps through him. He struggles to comprehend how you, someone who has witnessed the depths of his spite and witnessed the rudest corners of his soul, can still extend compassion towards him. The weight of guilt presses heavily on his shoulders, reminding him of the pain he has inflicted upon you.

Yunho's mind drifts back to that moment in the kitchen, when Yeosang spoke words that lingered in the depths of his consciousness. At the time, he dismissed them, unwilling to entertain the possibility that you could be deserving of their trust. Yet now, as he stands before you, he is starting to entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, Yeosang was right.

Yunho knows he doesn’t trust you still or whether he will ever fully trust again. Yet, from what he sees right now, maybe after all these years, he is able to let you back in. Maybe you weren't so bad after all...

585 notes · View notes

tainsan · 10 months

Text

misfits IV (college!ateez x reader)

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

warnings: cursing, negligence, mentions of suicide, a fight between yeosang and yunho

word count: 8.5k

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--- THIS IS AN 18+ STORY MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ---

“You’re also adding the overall total to the mean, it doesn’t need to be there.” You explain to Jeongin, who immediately face plants into his palm.

“Are you serious?” He groans, understanding his amateur mistake. You recognise the frustration, relating to the problems, having them yourself in the past due to being very stressed and sleep deprived.

“Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

Jeongin and you are sat side by side in the quiet solitude of the library, Jeongin finds himself engrossed in the assignment, his brow furrowed as he surveys over his mistake. The air is filled with a hushed diligence, the only sounds being the soft rustling of papers and the occasional scratch of pen against paper. The library offers a sanctuary for their focused work, providing a space free from distractions where they can dive deep into the realm of knowledge and learning. You are not too far from the spot where you tutored San and Jongho last week. Yet you decided to stay away from the particular spot, so you don’t get too distracted by the strong memories and thoughts of the two men.

“I feel like I could’ve sorted that out by myself, I’m sorry for wasting your time.” Jeongin looks extremely apologetic, and you can’t help but feel bad for him.

“It’s really okay, my morning was free anyways, and I’m always glad to help a friend.” You smile at him, his remorseful gaze melting away and being replaced by his signature eye smile.

“You better get going though, you’ve got an important date to attend to.” You wink at him, wiggling your eyebrows jokingly. Jeongin rolls his eyes before grabbing his things and bidding you a sweet goodbye. You reflect on Jeongin’s happiness, a wave of warmth and affection washes over your heart. Thoughts of your friend finding someone he truly likes, brings a genuine smile to your face. Silently hoping that this newfound relationship will last, the look on his features pure.

As the time passes by, you realise it’s time to find Jisung and attempt to explain your situation in a way that won’t freak him out too much. Grabbing your phone, you send him a text that you’re in the library, you await his presence by editing the finishing an assignment that needs to be uploaded by tomorrow.

“Girl, I haven’t heard from you in days where the fuck have you been?” Jisung’s voice speaks from behind you loudly, causing fellow library attendants to send him pointed glares. Jisung sends the look back, telling them to mind their business before bringing you into a warm hug. The two of you sit down next to each other, your assignment pushed to the side. Turning to your best friend, you give him the apologetic look you can muster.

“It’s been really crazy, I’m so sorry.” You reply, regretful for denying the events from the past few days from your best friend, knowing it would’ve been much more manageable with Jisung by your side.

“Right? Minho told me that Kim fucking Hongjoong came into your lecture and demanded you to see him?”

You grimace, remembering that day and how likely it was that the whole school is talking about you right now, “yeah that did happen?”

“Did he threaten you? Stab you? Poison you? You know he’s the leader of the group, right?”

“Yeah, a good leader too.”

“Is that seriously the only thing you got from that sentence?”

“Jisung I’m fine, he actually offered me a place to live…” your words are careful, trying to be quiet, knowing someone is probably listening to your conversation after hearing the words ‘Hongjoong’. Maybe even listening in since they saw you, knowing the attention you are receiving now is much more than usual.

“Okay what.” Jisung looks at you in disbelief, he eyes scanning yours to look for any sign of a joke, “she’s gone insane holy shit.”

“Jisung I’m not insane shut up. His mother is a real estate agent, and they pulled some strings.”

“Okay you’re telling me that the Ateez magically pulled strings for you.”

“I know it’s hard to believe but they really aren’t as bad as you think, only one of them is… questionable.”

Jisung gaze towards you softens, “I want to believe you, but I’ve seen it first-hand how rude they can be to people,”

“Maybe they are trying to change? Come on Ji, it’s me, you know damn well I’m a good judge of character.”

There is a long pause between the conversation, Jisung letting in the information you have provided him with. Jisung knows you are very good at reading people, due to past events you’ve had many situations where you don’t like a friend of his, even if they are the kindest person in the world to him. They always end up the way that you see them and warn Jisung of. At this point Jisung judges your gut feeling more than his own.

“I trust you. If you say they are nice then I will believe it. Just be careful around them, okay?”

You nod at Jisung, happy he understands. As you sit in quiet reflection, an intense sense of gratitude washes over you, directed towards your cherished best friend. With each passing thought, you are reminded of the countless moments you have shared, and the unwavering support Jisung has always offered you. He has been a pillar of strength and a constant source of comfort in your life, and you are overwhelmed with an immense feeling of thankfulness for the presence of Jisung in your life.

“So, what place did you get?” Jisung asks, curious as to where you ended up staying. You realise you never actually told him the full story. Preparing yourself for the worst, you try to find the right words to use.

“Do you promise to not freak out?” You question, your words again quiet, fearful of someone listening in to the conversation. Jisung raises an eyebrow in your direction, very intrigued as to why you would have to caution him not to freak out.

“After finding out Ateez are actually sweethearts, nothing can freak me out.”

“I’m living with them.” You deadpan, not finding any easy way to put it. Watching as Jisung’s eyes open hugely, his mouth takes in a large breath before opening. Before he can even get any words out, you cover his mouth with your hand, stopping his scream from echoing across, likely, the entire library.

“Please don’t freak out!” You exclaim, attempting to silence him as quickly as possible, hoping not to get kicked out of the library. Slowly removing your hand from his mouth, his shocked expression stays present on his face. If this were a scene from a movie, it would definitely make the two of you laugh.

“I’m not freaking out, you’re freaking out.” His voice is high pitched and out of breath, his ears not believing the absurd words exiting your mouth.

“Look I know, it’s insane, but it was my only option.”

Jisung slightly relaxes, yet his entire body is noticeably still tense and on edge.

“I’m saying this because I love you, but are you fucking stupid?” Rolling your eyes at him, you start to speak yet you get cut off, “you can’t live with eight guys.”

“That’s how it would’ve been if I moved in with you.” You retort.

“Yes, but Minho and I would be there to keep you safe if they tried anything. I don’t know your roommates; how do I trust them not to hurt you?”

“Jisung, I really appreciate that you care, but I trust them. They are too respectful to do anything. Plus, you know if they ever hurt me, I’d WWE the shit out of them.”

Jisung’s laugh is boisterous and echoes in the library, when he gets shushed by the people around him, he quickly puts his finger to his lips and shushes them back, again. Looking back at you, his eyes scan your face for any signs of discomfort. When he sees none, his body relaxes a little.

“You’d call me if anything happened, right?” Jisung questions, he moves his hand to rest on yours on top of the large oak table.

“Of course, Ji. It’s not like anyone else is on my emergency contact list.” You say joking through the bitterness evident on your voice.

“Speaking of, have you heard anything from your dad?” Jisung’s voice is soft, knowing how sensitive the subject can be for you.

“Not really, and I don’t particularly care. I did see on Facebook that he has found a new family to terrorise.”

Jisung’s eye roll is almost audible, he lets out an exasperated groan, “this guy never fails to surprise me with his bullshit.”

“You’d think he’d had enough after destroying one family.”

“Let’s not talk about it, he doesn’t deserve the attention.” A comfortable silence begins, and you feel yourself relax, Jisung continues talking when he realises, he didn’t ask a crucial question. “You do have your own room, right?”

“Yes of course. It’s a super nice room, and the bed is so big and comfortable. Plus, I have my own bathroom, so I don’t need to worry about walking in on them naked.” You reply, thinking about the amazing rest you had the previous night.

“That wouldn’t be too bad.” Jisung confesses, leaning back in his chair.

“What the fuck are you saying?” You hit Jisung’s arm, baffled by the nonsense coming out of his mouth, “weren’t you the one who was literally bashing on them earlier?”

“What? Just because I don’t especially like them, doesn’t mean they aren’t undeniably handsome and sexy as fuck.”

“Jisung shut up, you literally have a boyfriend.”

“I also have two perfectly functioning eyes, and if they are so respectful and kind maybe you should bag one,” Jisung looks over at you, a devious glint in his eyes, “or all.”

“Not a chance, Yunho fucking hates me for some reason.”

Jisung looks at you with a gobsmacked expression, “Yunho? Hate you? How can this guy hate you? You’re the sweetest person in the whole world.”

“I don’t know to be honest, Seonghwa said it was because he’s bad with new people, but I feel like there’s something more to the story.”

“Hang on we will unpack that another time. The Park Seonghwa?” Jisung questions, his eyes even wider than before. You start to wonder how wide his eyes can even go at this point.

“Yes?”

“He’s so fine holy shit. If you don’t bag him, I will.” Jisung relaxes back into his chair again.

“Again, you have a boyfriend.”

“Multiple boyfriends are a thing.” The short male jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I’m joking. I love Minho to bits, you know that.”

Laughing at Jisung whilst rolling your eyes, he gently pushes your arm, clearly wanting more details.

“So, you’re telling me you have zero feelings for any of them?” Jisung inquires, leaning closer to you, resting his chin on his hand, a questioning look on his features.

“Why are you so interested in my love life Han?”

“I’m your best friend, your love life is very interesting to me.”

Just as you're about to respond, a vibrant flash of pink captures your attention from behind Jisung, causing you to momentarily lose focus. As the source of the pink draws nearer, you realize it's Mingi approaching your table. His piercing gaze sends a chill down your spine, and you can't help but notice the awe-struck gazes of onlookers as he effortlessly navigates past numerous tables. There's an undeniable air of confidence in his stride, similar to that of a model confidently strutting down a runway, leaving you in awe of his presence.

Caught off guard by your sudden distraction, Jisung turns around, following your gaze to the approaching figure. Sensing his confusion, you instinctively reach out, placing a comforting hand on your best friend's shoulder, offering him reassurance amidst the unexpected arrival of Mingi.

“Don’t worry, he’s one of the nicer ones.” You whisper in his ear, Jisung’s tense shoulders relaxing slightly.

“So, you weren’t lying about moving in, were you?” Jisung whispers back, his eyes not leaving Mingi’s tall structure.

The tall male reaches the table you are at, you are glad that his back is faced towards all the people staring, otherwise they would see the smile that spreads across his features.

“Hey,” Mingi smiles at you, not even paying attention to the smaller man sat closer to him.

Jisung stares at Mingi, shocked to even see a smile on Mingi’s face. Eventually, Mingi looks towards Jisung, and his smile fades slightly, but doesn’t disappear. Gently nodding his head in Jisung’s direction, as if he says hello, he turns his head back to you.

At this small gesture, you are somewhat happy that they are not treating your best friend the cold way you have heard so much about. It is huge for Mingi to be nice to you, so the fact he is also being pleasant to your friend makes you feel extremely touched by the small act.

“You have anatomy soon, right?” Mingi’s deep voice questions you. You and Jisung are both surprised that the man knows what you have next.

“Yeah, I do, how did you know?”

“I’m walking in the same direction; do you want to go together?" Mingi ignores your question leaving you confused, yet you decide to pay no attention to it.

“Well, I was actually going to walk with Jisung.” You say, slightly upset for denying the pink haired man, seeing that he came all the way to find you so you could walk together.

Jisung’s eyes light up like lightbulbs as a thought enters his head, “no, she wasn’t. I was walking by myself. Goodbye you two. It was nice to meet you Mingi.” Jisung has a huge grin on his face as he grabs his bag off the floor and rushes to leave the library.

Confused out of your mind, you look towards Jisung as he leaves, with your arms signing ‘what?’. The only thing your best friend does is point towards Mingi, who still has his eyes on you, he then mouths the words ‘bag him’ before laughing and almost sprinting out of the large room. Wasn’t he the one who said he didn’t want you to be around them? ‘This guy doesn’t have enough time to be playing match maker,’ you think in your head and let out a groan.

“Is it that bad to walk with me to class?” Mingi questions, his expression sorrowful, worried from the groan that just left your lips.

Immediately, you feel bad and reassure the man in front of you, “no Mingi of course not. I was just weirded out by his actions; I’d love to walk with you.”

Instantly, the frown on his face is replaced by a relieved smile. Feeling happy you’re comfortable to walk with him, Mingi helps you pack your things into your bag and the two of you head out of the library, trying to ignore all the stares you get from the people around you. If this is what it’s like to be friends with Ateez, you might as well get used to it, even if you hate being in the spotlight.

As Mingi bids you farewell and heads off to his next class, a wave of realization washes over you. Despite living with the Ateez members, there is still so much you don't know about them. Determined to resolve this, you make a mental note to engage with them individually, realizing that one-on-one conversations might be more manageable and less overwhelming than having them all in one room together. Living under the same roof provides ample opportunities for deeper connections to form.

As the professor enters the classroom, the chatter subsides, and a hush of anticipation settles over the students. You take a seat in the back, preparing for the extended lesson that lies ahead. Thoughts of the impending dinner with the Ateez members fill your mind, stir up mixed feelings within you. It has been quite some time since you've had dinner with a larger group of people, reminiscing about the warmth and amity that accompanied those moments back in high school. The sight of them gathering around the table, like a chosen family, tugs at your heartstrings. However, the prospect of encountering Yunho once again fills you with concern. The words Seonghwa spoke about Hongjoong's "good way of disciplining" linger in your thoughts, leaving you with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty. You contemplate the dynamics at the dinner table, resolving to find a seat away from Yunho to avoid any confrontations or discomfort.

Realizing that you've allowed your mind to wander, you refocus your attention on the lecture, determined not to miss any crucial information. The upcoming dinner remains at the back of your mind, a blend of excitement and apprehension. You reassure yourself that tonight will be an opportunity to observe and evaluate the dynamics of the group, to see how everyone interacts and finding your place. Deep down, you know that time and shared experiences will reveal more about each member's true nature, allowing you to navigate this new chapter with openness and resilience.

With renewed focus, you immerse yourself in the lecture, ready to absorb the knowledge before you and face the dinner with a mixture of curiosity and cautious optimism.

---

Frustration consumes you as you struggle to insert your key into the stubborn lock, the front door refusing to yield to your attempts. With an exasperated sigh, you lean forward, allowing the weight of your frustration to manifest as a slight bang against the door, as your head comes in contact with the white door. The lecture had ended at four, and you had planned a quick shopping trip with Jisung to grab the forgotten essentials like toothpaste and shampoo. However, fate had a different plan in mind as you unexpectedly ran into Felix near the school. Before you knew it, the three of you found yourselves lured into a charming café that Felix had discovered through the enticing realm of TikTok. Sensing the minutes slipping away, you bid your hasty goodbyes when the clock neared seven, anxious not to be tardy for your inaugural dinner together.

Fortunately, someone had left a key for you on the kitchen counter this morning, yet you are starting to think it’s not the key to the house. Maybe it was Yunho playing a trick on you, so you can’t get into the house, and you will leave him alone. Luckily for you, you happen to be pretty stubborn, and you are not going to give in to whatever this ruse is.

Pulling out your phone, you go to your contacts and push in San’s number. You think you should probably get the rest of the boys’ numbers so if you’re stuck outside at least you have more of a chance of getting inside.

The phone rings about three times before the phone picks up, and you’re surprised at how fast San picks up.

“___, hey. What’s up?” San speaks over the phone, his voice is soft, yet for some reason you can hear he has a smile on his face, perhaps he had a good day. Hearing the smile on San’s face brings a smile to your own and you frustration pointed towards the door melts away. You can hear him shuffling around in the background.

“Hey San, are you home at the moment?” You ask, putting you key back into your pocket.

“Yeah, I am. Why?” The curiosity laced in San’s words is unmissable.

“My key isn’t working for some reason, could you please open the door for me?”

“Ohhhh,” San speaks out, realising the problem, “try pulling the door towards you slightly when you turn the key.”

Reaching into your bag once again, you pull out the key and place it back in the lock. This time, gently pulling the door towards you and just like magic the lock turns fully, opening the door.

“Ah thank you San!” You exclaim as you walk inside the house and start to take off your shoes.

“No worries” a voice speaks out from in front of you. Whipping your head up, you see San leaning against the railing of the staircase with a small smile on his face. Why does he look so handsome suddenly?

“How long have you been there?” You ask, wondering if he was just passing by.

“Since the first time you tried to unlock the door.”

The disbelief washes over you as you observe the guy standing there, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he could have easily opened the door for you.

A wave of guilt surges through you, realizing that you had unfairly blamed Yunho for something that wasn't his fault. It dawns on you that perhaps it's premature to judge him as a horrible person without giving him a chance. The thought lingers in your mind, igniting a flicker of curiosity you decide maybe you should try to get to know him better before passing any final judgments.

“Why didn’t you open the door then?” You groan as you walk past him, into the kitchen where you see Jongho sat at the island, watching a video on his phone. San follows you behind, and watches as you place your bag on the island, catching Jongho’s attention.

“___,” Jongho says with a smile. You return his smile as you take a seat at the island not too far from Jongho.

“If I had opened the door for you then you would never learn how to properly open it.” San explains, his smile is still on his features, yet you can see just a hint of teasing behind it.

You feel your annoyance fade away as you realise, he has a point, still being stubborn though, you blow a raspberry at him, faking annoyance, causing a laugh to erupt from his throat.

Approaching you with a playful demeanour, San affectionately places a hand on top of your head, his touch causing a gentle ruffle of your hair. A soft smile tugs at his lips as he leans down, bringing his eyes to meet yours, and in that intimate proximity, your faces mere inches apart, he confesses, "You're cute."

The sudden admission sends a surge of warmth rushing up your neck, setting your cheeks ablaze. Overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, you instinctively break eye contact, leaning back as if to create some distance between you and the rush of emotions that swirl within you. San, now standing tall again, leans against the counter behind you, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the fluttering of your heart.

In an attempt to collect yourself, you shift your gaze towards Jongho, who observes the exchange between you and San with a knowing smile. Catching the small glare Jongho directs towards San before turning his attention to you, his smile resumes, radiating a sense of reassurance and understanding.

“How was your day?” Jongho asks, turning off his phone and placing it face down on the counter.

“It was good, I helped a friend with his project and then had an extended lecture which I am absolutely exhausted from. I also went to a really nice café with Jisung and Felix” You reply, sinking into the chair.

“Who is Felix?” San asks, curious at the unfamiliar name. His voice is a little sharp and you can’t help but wonder why.

“He’s one of Jisung’s friends, we don’t hang out that often, but it was nice to see him today.”

“Are you two close friends?” Jongho is the one who questions this time.

“Not that close, he’s more of an acquaintance to me.” I explain to the two.

They both lets out “ah’s” as they let the information process in their heads.

“You didn’t go to Wooyoung’s café?” San questions, sitting next to you, “he was working today.” San adds.

Feeling bad all of a sudden, you remember the café Wooyoung works at.

“Next time I’ll go there for sure,” you say, hoping they aren’t mad about you not going to their friend’s café.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” Jongho reassures you the second he sees the slightest amount of guilt on your face. Smiling at Jongho, you silently thank him for reassuring your worries.

Then, you suddenly remember the unfinished assignment essay you have yet to submit to the online drop box. Checking the time on your phone, you are relieved to see that you likely have enough time to finish it before dinner.

“Excuse me, I need to finish this essay, I will see you two later.” You explain as you grab your belongings off the island, turning to walk to your room, you take one more look at the men in the kitchen. They are both watching you as you leave, but they have smiles on their faces.

“Good luck,” Jongho says before you close the door to your room.

The next forty minutes are spent in your room, putting the final touches on your assignment, a sense of accomplishment fills the air around you. With a satisfied smile, you close your laptop, knowing that you have poured your efforts and creativity into completing the task at hand. Glancing around, you realise that dinner is still in the process of being prepared, and a surge of anticipation awakens your taste buds. The tempting aromas wafting from the kitchen ignite a hunger within you, making you eagerly await the culinary delights soon to be served. In this brief moment of transition, you revel in the satisfaction of a job well done, ready to savour the flavours that await you at the dinner table.

When Seonghwa knocks on your door to let you know that dinner is almost ready, you send a smile in his direction before getting back to your screen, only having to upload the document. As dinner gets closer, you hear more noises around the house of people entering the abode, your excitement intensifying as you hear Wooyoung’s high pitched laugh from the kitchen making you chuckle under your breath.

Just as you send in your assignment, you hear a soft knock on your door before you hear Mingi’s deep voice speak explaining dinner is ready.

You take a minute to put your laptop into your bag again and clear up your desk quickly before heading out the door and towards the living room. You pass Yunho in the kitchen who is stirring something in a pot. Walking around him quietly, strategically avoiding his gaze, you make it past the kitchen without him seeing you.

As you enter the room, you notice the group gathered around the expansive table, everyone is present except for the notably tall male figure. Finding an empty seat beside Mingi and Seonghwa, you greet everyone with a respectful hello, initiating a brief conversation with Mingi to ask about his day. The conversation flows effortlessly, yet it is cut short as your attention is swiftly diverted by the entrance of Yunho.

He is carrying plates of food. A smile tugs at your lips as the pleasant aroma wafts towards you, instantly recognizing one it as of your favourite meals. Your mouth begins to water in anticipation as you watch Yunho meticulously place the plates in front of each person around the table. However, as he reaches your spot, he strangely passes your plate and instead sets it down in front of Seonghwa, a confusing act that leaves you momentarily taken aback. With a mixture of surprise and confusion, you lock eyes with Yunho, who takes a seat directly across from you, further adding to the mystery of his actions.

“And ___’s plate, Yunho.” Hongjoong questions, his voice is strong and authoritative yet the glare that Yunho gives you shows he ignored Hongjoong completely.

“Sorry, I only made enough for eight.” Yunho glares at you, ignoring the sighs of disappointment and groans from the seven males around him.

“You can have mine,” Seonghwa begins to put his plate in front of you, yet you stop him. Smiling at him gently, you turn back to Yunho in front of you.

“Enjoy your meal, Yunho. I hope you’re happy.” You deadpan, before standing up and pacing out the room, irritated with the bullshit that Yunho is pulling. As you rise from your seat, Wooyoung makes a move to join you, concern written across his face. However, you gently halt his advance, urging him to remain seated and enjoy his meal. Seonghwa's assurance that Hongjoong would handle the situation lingers in your mind, but deep down, you harbour scepticism about Yunho's ability to change so quickly.

Despite feeling deeply disappointed by the turn of events, you gather your inner strength, resolved to confront the situation on your own terms. You remind yourself that you are capable of handling this setback, even though it casts a shadow over your anticipation for the dinner.

“Yunho what the fuck are you trying to do?” Wooyoung demands as he glares at the tall male, his disappoint and anger evident in his words, his stance defensive.

“Just eat. It’s her problem.” Yunho answers, starting to cut his food up.

----

“He didn’t make me food, on purpose, so I just walked out.” You explain the situation to Jisung over the phone.

“Now this is what I expected from an Ateez member to be honest. No hate.” Jisung groans over the phone, annoyance evident on his voice.

The enticing aroma of your favourite meal still wafts through the air, and you find yourself torn between anticipation and frustration. Yunho skilfully prepared the dish you adore, and you aren’t sure is he made the meal because he knows you like it, that would be impossible. Your irritancy intensifies as you realise this was a deliberate attempt to manipulate your emotions.

It becomes painfully clear that Yunho purposefully made the meal with the intent to excite you, using it as a weapon to push you towards the decision of moving out. The realization strikes you like a jagged bolt of lightning, igniting a mixture of anger and hurt. A part of you wants to go back into the dining room and snatch his plate from under his nose, but a stronger part of you resists, refusing to let Yunho's manipulation dictate your actions.

As soon as you entered your room, you found yourself calling your best friend, disappointed but not surprised by the actions of Yunho. Scurrying over to your bed, you rest on the edge still trying to fully process the events. Ranting to Jisung only makes you realise how annoyed you are on the tallest male.

“It’s annoying yes, but it’s manageable. If he starts squaring up on me though I will likely be very scared, bro is big.” You half joke, knowing that he likely won’t dare to start a fight with you due to Hongjoong being present. Tonight, wasn’t nice but it wasn’t like he threatened you or said particularly rude things, if it’s like this you are for sure able to manage at least until you find another place to live. Yes, this place is extremely nice and affordable but it’s not somewhere you see yourself living in for a long time.

“Have you at least eaten anything?” Jisung’s question leaves you shocked. No, you haven’t eaten anything since probably lunch. The second you think about food, your stomach emits a loud growl, leaving you to face palm. Definitely should buy some food, you think to yourself, still aggravated about missing out on the most delicious food you’ve smelt in a while.

Reassuring Jisung, then saying goodbye after about an hour of talking, you hang up the call and immediately open your fast-food app. Scanning through each restaurant you end up even more irritated seeing that there are no deals and most of the food will take at least an hour to arrive. You’re not sure you should be even buying food, seeing how posh the area is it would be a crime to even think about ordering cheap fast food. Flipping from the food application, you go to your bank account checking to see if you even have enough money to be buying a meal. Seeing the amount makes you audibly sigh, your ideas of getting food leaving your mind quicker than you can shut off your phone. Laying back on your bed, you close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, attempting to let the frustration slowly vacate your body.

‘Whatever.’ You think to yourself, you’re not eating so you might as well get ready for bed.

Walking into the bathroom and settling into your night time routine, a sense of annoyance creeping over you when you notice that your favourite moisturizer is running dangerously low. Frustration bubbles within you as you realise that you’ll soon need to replace it. You contemplate the possibility of squeezing out every last drop, hoping to prolong its usage just a little while longer. Sighing to yourself, you realise that you have to again spend money on something you would rather not. Wishing you could just ignore your need for moisturiser, you groan knowing you can’t due to having extremely dry skin in the winter and you’d prefer to not look like your skin was falling off. The moisturiser you use isn’t even that expensive, it’s just a supermarket own brand one that barely keeps your skin looking presentable, yet it’s all you can afford, you have other things you have to save your money for.

Making your way wearily back to your bed, where your phone rests on the charger, you snatch it up and settle on the edge of the mattress. With a swift search on YouTube, you strive to find the perfect video to unwind with before drifting off to sleep. Yet, as your finger taps on a selection, the video barely has a chance to begin before a soft knock reverberates from your door.

Your head whips towards the source of the sound, a realization dawning upon you that someone seeks entry. Surprise tinged with guilt washes over you as you reflect on having walked out on dinner, aware of its importance to the other person. Amidst the rapid whirl of thoughts, you question why you are shouldering the blame when it was Jeong Yunho who acted insensitively.

A flicker of panic flits through your mind, silently hoping that it's not Yunho standing on the other side of the door. Should you pretend to be asleep? No, that won't work, as they would have heard you using the bathroom. Lost in a flurry of racing thoughts, you momentarily forget that someone patiently awaits your response, mere inches away on the other side of the wall.

“Um ___? Can I come in quickly?” A deep sweet voice sounds from behind the wooden door and you immediately recognise it as Yeosang. Letting out a soft sigh of relief you answer back, letting Yeosang know it’s okay for him to open the entrance to your room.

From across the room, your gaze fixates on the door, anticipation coursing through your veins. It swings open, revealing the familiar figure of Yeosang standing hesitantly in the doorway, his presence both captivating and disarming. As your eyes slowly travel from the bottom of his body to his face, you can't help but take note of the subtle changes in his appearance. His usual jeans and hoodie are replaced by a black tank top that showcases his toned arms and snug grey sweatpants that accentuate his casual yet charming vibe. The sight of his bare arms, muscles defined and veins subtly visible, evokes a mix of admiration and intrigue within you. You find yourself captivated by the way his physique displays strength and confidence.

Caught in the act of observing him, Yeosang registers you checking him out, a blend of pride and embarrassment sweeping across his features. His cheeks dusted with a rosy hue, hints at the flattery he feels under your gaze. A contented, almost bashful smile graces his lips, revealing his genuine delight at being the centre of your attention. His usually carefully styled hair appears tousled, and you realise he must have been readying for bed.

However, your attention is abruptly drawn to the paper bag clutched in his hand, distracting your eyes away from his physique and back to his face. The red blush on his cheeks remains, giving him an endearing charm, while his eyes sparkle with a mix of excitement and nervousness. The sight of his dishevelled hair and his relaxed attire only amplifies his charm, adding a touch of effortless attractiveness to his overall appearance.

“I bought you some food. I wasn’t too sure what you’d like so I got a mixture of some things.” Yeosang explains, holding up the paper bag in his hand.

This act instantly makes your heart speed up and your chest to feel warm despite the freeing temperature of your room. This kind gesture warms your heart, and you can’t help but feel incredibly grateful to the man standing in your doorway.

Yeosang's gaze sweeps over your figure, his eyes instinctively drawn to the form-fitting pyjamas that hug your curves. A surge of satisfaction courses through him as he realizes the envy that would consume the other boys if they knew the position he is in at this very moment. Grateful for the stroke of fortune that has brought him into this position, he momentarily loses himself in a spiral of thoughts, silently expressing gratitude to whichever higher power may have orchestrated this unexpected encounter. However, his attention is abruptly redirected as your soft voice breaks through the reverie, grounding him back to the present moment.

“Yeosang, I,” you start to speak yet you can’t find the words to express your gratitude to him, you instead invite him to enter your room fully. “Please come in.” You request, smiling widely at the giddy man who is now in your bedroom.

It’s the first time Yeosang has been in your bedroom since you decorated it, finding some small posters and fairy lights to hang around your room, and some plants to place around making it feel more like home. He looks throughout the space, admiring what you’ve done to it.

“I still have some more things I need to buy before it becomes home.” You admit to the blonde male as he looks around. When he hears your statement, he looks towards you and smiles warmly.

“Here you go,” he says, handing you the bag, and stepping backwards, wanting to not bother you further and let you eat in peace. Looking down into the bag, you see a few different packages, wrapped in aluminium foil and the smell reaches your nostrils, filling them up with the most delicious savoury scent, causing your mouth to water and your stomach reminds you how hungry you actually were.

When you look back up, you see Yeosang back by the doorway, heavily debating whether he should leave or stay to make sure you finish the food, nervously shifting from one foot to the other, unsure of what to say. You smile at his actions, for a buff guy who is supposedly a ‘bad boy’, he sure is cute.

“Yeosang,” you speak out, catching his attention, he meets your eyes, and you swear you could have fainted at that moment. His gaze holds a gentle softness, yet beneath the surface, you sense a wealth of unspoken feelings concealed within the intensity of his eye contact. Words are on the tip of your tongue as you contemplate the question that weighs heavily on your mind, unsure of how to speak your thoughts.

Yeosang, sensing your hesitation and the hint of worry in your stance, takes a step closer, concern etched on his features. Something in the way you stand, lost in your thoughts while gazing at him, tells him that something might be wrong. “Are you okay?” He asks.

Before you can find the right words, however, you instinctively close the distance between you, your heart racing with anticipation. The bag of food you were holding slips from your hands, forgotten on the floor as you gently wrap your arms around him, seeking comfort in a tender embrace.

Yeosang tenses up, caught off guard by the sudden display of affection. Your abrupt departure only further fuels his uncertainty, leaving you standing a meter away, immediately apologizing for potentially crossing boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m just extremely grateful for the food I’m so sorry for pushing your boundaries,”

But before you can utter another word, this time, Yeosang closes the distance, his hands enveloping you, drawing you closer to his chest. Your cheek presses against the warmth of his shirt, the sensation of his toned physique beneath it briefly registering in your mind. Overwhelmed by the strength and security of his hold, you find yourself tensing up this time, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected gesture. Yet, understanding his earlier hesitation from your own action, you reciprocate by wrapping your arms around his waist, surrendering to the comfort of the embrace.

Time seems to stretch as you bask in the comfort of his arms, feeling a sense of familiarity and longing that has been absent for far too long. Your light-headedness gives way to a contented sigh, revelling in the serenity given by his hug. Expecting the moment to end, you begin to pull away, only to be pulled back into his chest, your cheek colliding with his in a gentle 'oof' of surprise.

Moments blur into eternity as you remain locked in each other's arms, a silent connection between your two souls. Yeosang withdraws slightly, but his hold remains, your arms still embracing his waist, his still encircling your shoulders.

Your gazes meet once again, mere inches apart, illuminated by the soft glow of the bedside lamp. Even in the dim light, you can discern the flush that colours his cheeks, an unreadable expression adorning his features. It's an unfamiliar emotion that leaps around in his eyes, neither embarrassment nor discomfort, but something entirely new, leaving you dizzy with curiosity.

For what feels like an eternity, the two of you engage in a silent exchange, locked in a gaze that renders you weak at the knees. And just when you think your heart couldn't flutter any faster, Yeosang breaks the silence with a confession that catches you off guard. His eyes remain fixed on yours, unwavering and sincere as he admits, "Your eyes are beautiful."

“Uh thank you.” You reply, cheeks growing even hotter than you thought they could go. You just know if Jisung would see you right now he would scream his lungs out.

Moving away from Yeosang, he momentarily wonders if he screwed up by saying those words, yet when he sees the sincere smile on your face, his worries melt away and he gets lost in your expression.

“Would you eat with me?” You question, hoping he will keep you company, the question of ‘did we know each other before college?’ slipping your mind completely.

---

Seated cross-legged on your bed, you relish the delicious food that Yeosang thoughtfully brought for you. Across from you, he sits on the edge of the bed, one leg tucked comfortably while the other dangles freely. His eyes never waver from you, captivated by the way you devour the meal with avid hunger, and a sense of relief washes over him. It's evident that you must have been starving, and he silently curses Yunho for denying you a proper meal earlier during the disastrous dinner. In this intimate moment, he seethes with anger at the thought of you being deprived of a simple joy you were so excited about, confirming his resolve to make up for it.

As you converse one-on-one with Yeosang, the opportunity to have a genuine heart-to-heart arises, a chance to connect without the distractions of others. The conversation flows effortlessly as you delve into the events of your day, sharing thoughts, dreams, and anything that comes to mind. It's in these moments that you notice a subtle transformation in Yeosang's demeanour. His eyes shimmer with a radiant passion whenever he talks about dance, and his voice releases a fresh energy when he discusses subjects close to his heart.

Discovering his love for reading piques your interest, knowing your mutual fondness for books. This realization sparks a lively conversation about favourite authors and cherished books. The genuine curiosity and engagement exchanged between the two of you ignites a flutter within your chest, relishing the ease with which you connect and share your passions with Yeosang.

Yeosang remains by your side until the very last piece of food disappears, his unwavering presence a testament to his attentiveness and care. Not a single crumb is left, and as you sink back into the comforting embrace of your pillows, the weight of the day begins to settle upon you. The heaviness of your eyelids is a gentle reminder that rest is calling, but before sleep claims you, you can't help but feel grateful for the precious moment spent with Yeosang.

“This is the book I was explaining earlier!” Yeosang exclaims, turning his phone to you to show the book he couldn’t remember the name of. However, when he looks up to you, he finds you snuggled into the pillow, your mouth slightly parted, eyes closed. Surprised, his eyes widen as he peers over your sleeping form. Yeosang’s heart swells, revelling in the fact that you felt comfortable enough to allow yourself to fall asleep.

Tucking you into your blanket, careful not to wake you up, he studies you once more, taking in all of your features. He notes each freckle and mole on your face, the way your eyelashes rest against the swell of your cheeks, your hair falling messily over the sheets.

Yeosang gracefully exits your room, a gentle smile adorning his face and a faint blush colouring his cheeks. The evening spent together was a significant milestone in your friendship, and he couldn't help but feel content that he had won the rock-paper-scissors with Wooyoung to order food for you. However, what catches him off guard is the sight of Yunho emerging from his own room simultaneously, intending to make a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water. In that moment, disappointment flickers across Yunho's eyes as he witnesses Yeosang leaving your room.

“Are you seriously cosying up to her?” Yunho’s voice is once again full of venom, not even realising the tone he’s using to talk to his close friend.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now Yunho.” Exhausted by the taller male's behaviour, Yeosang attempts to walk past him, seeking to put some distance between them. However, his friend intercepts him, halting his steps and preventing him from moving forward.

“I’m being serious, how can you just let her in after everything we have been through?”

“You can’t hold this grudge up forever; she lives with us now.”

“You were the one who said, ‘we will never let outsiders in again’ what the fuck happened to that?”

“It’s ___ dude, she was never an outsider, and you know that damn well.”

“Are you seriously this desperate to get your dick wet that you’ve forgotten everything we have been through?”

“That’s not what this is about, you know that.” Yeosang pushes past Yunho and walks towards the kitchen, taking a seat down on the barstool. Yunho follows him, grabbing a glass from the designated cupboard.

“She may have saved Hwa, Yeosang, but the second she is given the opportunity to leave us she will, just like Ryu did.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this after everything she did to help us get back on our feet. She is nothing like her, you would know that if you gave yourself the chance to get to know ___.”

“I don’t understand why you are acting like this. This is exactly what happened with Ryu, she got close to us, just to take away everything.”

“Aren’t you tired of acting like a dickhead to everyone all the time?”

“We do this, so we don’t go through that ever again.” Yunho’s voice raises slightly, his voice starting to echo in the kitchen. “We have acted like this for years because that is the damn narrative that that bitch gave us.”

“Are you seriously telling me after all these years you aren’t tired of being this way just to avoid getting your heart broken? It’s a human thing, Yunho, we deserve love too.”

“You aren’t the one who had your entire heart ripped out of your chest.” Yunho’s voice is louder this time causing some restless heads in the house to shake awake.

“You know damn well my heart was crushed too.” This time Yeosang yells back at him, taking the tall man by surprise. Yeosang barely ever raises his voice, let alone it being directed toward someone, Yunho steps back a little. “I know what you had with her, you thought was special, but you can’t keep dwelling on it. Back when this all began, ___ was the only person willing to be kind. I know for a fact you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel even the smallest amount of love for her.” Yeosang’s voice is exasperated, begging towards his friend to stop the act he has up.

“Then what if I do love her?” Yunho’s voice cracks and Yeosang can see the tears starting to dwell in his eyes, causing him to soften slightly. Yunho continues, “there’s nothing stopping her from doing the same thing as Ryu the second Seonghwa’s dickhead of a father offers her the money to ruin us. She will leave us and our hearts, my heart will be broken again.” The tears in Yunho’s eyes fall onto the surface of the island, yet he doesn’t know whether they are from pure frustration or because the truth is starting to hit him like bricks.

“When we were KQ Fellaz, she knew we were trouble, she knew the rumours about us, she knew the danger she was putting herself in every time she stood up for us. When were all broken from the trauma and heart break she never once pressured us to talk about it, she never yelled at us when we yelled at her, she was never scared of us. Don’t tell me you don’t remember every time single fucking time she cleaned the wounds on your hands after getting in countless of unnecessary fights?” Yeosang runs his hands through his hair, frustrated by the sheer ignorance of his friend.

Yunho goes to speak but he gets cut off by Yeosang, who is half fuming half desperate. “She was kind to us without ever expecting anything in return, so stop letting your stupid prejudice against the human race blind you completely from what’s in front of you. If she was like Ryu, she would have let Seonghwa jump off that ledge.”

Yunho feels his heart drop as he remembers the sight of his older friend in such a fragile state, his only option to be to end it, him not being able to help the pain he was enduring.

“Please Yunho,” Yeosang’s voice is soft this time, nothing louder than a whisper, “just give her a chance.”

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