#there was a lot more i could’ve put

[boltgunkiller-archive]

i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk

#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG #they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she #-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just #-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically #-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean. #i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing #-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s #-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses #-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and #-support… none of which she got. #also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING #and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely #-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte #-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her #and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day! #like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff #it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are #they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa #-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too #-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve #-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody #who is scared and in the closet and hurting #also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte #like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to #-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he #-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue #and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks. #also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣 #i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID #like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[chryzure]

whew, people get heated over their fav booktok book.

#memorie.txt #once you’ve read more you’re more willing to admit that you love a kinda poorly written book #by god i love jackaby. the writing style is a solid 3/5 and the plot stuff is cheesy as hell. #you get a better frame of reference for ‘this book requires an award’ style of good #and a ‘god this is so my dumb little niche that scratches all those weird little itches nobody else has’ style of good #one of my fav series is the ghost and the goth!! is it good?? i don’t know if i’d go that far!! #is it fun and does it make me think of trysi / chryzure stuff??? yes :) #i’m beginning to wonder abt ppl rabid abt their fav books. anyway this one person was losing their shit over ppl liking apollo #and aurora and i’m an aurora shooter but i digress #they were foaming at the mouth and im like Well. its a little not that serious . #he is letters on a page. and also mostly irrelevant to the story as a whole so im kinda confused as to why ppl feel so strongly abt him #it’s funny because most of my complaints stem from an outside pov #where i critique the worldbuilding / plot work / character writing and its inconsistencies #whereas ppl assume im encouraging villainy irl. it is quite seriously more that the villainy is unmotivated #or otherwise poorly done. i love to hate a good villain if the proper legwork is put into it #because i like observing how others work their craft!!! #but my irritation with stephanie is that she doesn’t work her craft well. it’s shoddy craftsmanship full of retcons or #convenience required for plot that otherwise hold no reasoning in the story #and i can admit that i find the series unsatisfying because it’s marketed as a romance (the romance had little chemistry that could be #understood by anyone that’s not straight. straight romances are always laziest because it’s the ‘norm’ so that equates to chem) #and also it was marketed as having plot when rlly the ‘plot’ was trying to put these characters in weird chemistry-less situations together #so yeah i’ll complain abt the villains being jealous shallow archetypes when it could’ve had depth. #i’ll complain abt a lot. but in the end it’s a silly basic ya romance series that isn’t anything unique #most unique stories will not be found on booktok. i’m sorry #i can show you the beautiful world of horror novels though! #or weird lil 80s fantasy novels that are actually quite long that my dad likes showing me #truly no romance novel will be better than the darkangel trilogy though.. that is what stephanie wanted to write. #but that’s lightning in a bottle ithink. #okay anyway. good night. i worked a long day and i have appts in the morning

[rivertigo]

sometimes I think I’m just being out of touch and looking back on a past i didn’t live through with rose colored glasses but no I think we are living in a uniquely isolated time in every sector of life

#there isn’t a very solid rock music scene no one leaves the house all the shit with phones #there is a loneliness epidemic for like everyone #and the long term effects of helicopter parenting and manufactured paranoia created by the alt right to control children more has seeped #like everywhere #and there is a constant feel of surveillance from cameras everywhere and phones everywhrrr #like you just can’t get certain things of the past like abandoned warehouse raves or diy shows in random ass places #idk idk just thinking about it #like obviously I recognize the major issues a lot of things in the past had but I thought instead of getting rid of all the cool stuff #we could’ve made the cool stuff more inclusive and accessible #ughhh just stewing in thought that I can’t even put to words well

[p0rchcollapse]

man every piece of new information about endfield i see makes me less and less excited. it really is starting to look like a cash grab. i might stop playing arknights after 4.5 comes to global and stop posting about it for now cus if i have to deal with another ‘honkai 3rd sharp writing quality decline’ incident i will be so distressed lol. best to distance myself from it now, although i guess i’ll wait till 4.5 or endfield release and see what the cn reception of new content is like. sadge

#won’t put this in the arknights tag sigh #i will say that i enjoyed lone trail a lot. could’ve used less doctor though #and it seems that endfield will be more like the doc-centric parts of lonetrail auughh. more pain for me #i will have to find a new piece of media to get hyperfixated on. goodbye arknights… my longest-lasting media obsession… #at least i’ll always have arknights years 1-4. arknights years 1-4 you will always be famous

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Day 655

Unlike the mod of this blog arjuna finishes things in a concise fashion, so he’s done well today

#hasarjunadoneanythingwrong #my post #started ANOTHER fucking comic late at night instead of finishing something #anyway. I’m not making a sep post 4 this bc k don’t want to add to the complaining but #at this point in time I’ve seen more people complaining abt ppl complaining abt the npcs than actual complaints #like. I think they’re just making shit up now bc they’re mad ppl didn’t just gratefully eat their scraps #I’m now hearing that the guda6 ssr artist was HARRASSED over it which while possible #why am I only hearing about this now?????? and not then??? #it fr feels like they want to ruin it for anyone who’s actually happy #I think some of it is ppl don’t realize it wasn’t just eng ppl complaining but idk #and they don’t notice that the jp players also complain a lot bc it’s in another language/on dif sites #so they always try to turn it into some ‘damn sjw na fem player’ but that’s not really…accurate? #and frustrating too bc at the time of the npc thing there were only 3 guys released like yeah actually putting 3 sexy npcs out at once was #gonna piss people off if it could’ve doubled it for that demographic #and idk. it definitely feels like it’s pushback for the fact that people were actually angry on both sides of the fanbase that now #I keep seeing these damn posts complaining about ppl complaining #like if it bothers you so much just block them?????? #it really wasn’t an unreasonable response though #and yeah I’m not pro harassing artists but I do find it convenient it wasn’t mentioned until now #if it is true-it’s bad but that isn’t the fault of the majority of the people who were frustrated? #def not on par w like the. parv thing for example #like maybe fans in this fanbase just get bitchy sometimes idk #anyway I needed to vent this to release bile I just didn’t want it obvious srry to bother <3 #I’m just sick of it like damn can we not just enjoy the new servant. the npc thing really wasn’t that bad why are you still mad

[tracle0]

Travel poster take 2

#TCD #TSS #graphic design #digital art #travel poster #graphics design is My Passion but actually this was just a refresher in how illustrator works #Took me. A long time to finish. FUxking books #Why did I put a favourite character in a bookshop. Why did I give him that. He could’ve had any kind of shop #A nice greengrocers. A tailors. But noooo gotta be a bookshop #No I do like it but it does mean I get stuck drawing books a lot. Look at those angles. Does anyone sane do that shit #I was gonna change bits of it but I didn’t cause I kept forgetting and now the laptop is at work so I won’t #Here’s the not final piece but might actually be final piece cause idk if the change I want will work #Ahem. I have one more doodle to possibly share soon but it’s got bout three changes I want to make so you’ll get that maybe tomorrow #Okay bye 👋 #Trade-marked

[reformedmercymain]

I have no desire to put this person on blast but my god it really shows when people didn’t play high elo overwatch pre role lock (not to mention how hard it was to have a completely stagnant meta for pro teams who weren’t the kings of it like titans and shock, which I wouldn’t bring up unless this person wasn’t mainly talking about OWL, which they were)

#like goats at the highest level (shock v titans) matches were incredible #but being subjected to ladder goats for that long? and seeing lower tier teams players like emotionally suffering because they can’t even #play the role they like and even within that comp the only change that can be made is to put a sombra in #also I don’t follow this person nor have I seen them before but I follow the owl tag so it just showed up on my dash #obviously don’t harass them just because it’s easy to disagree with their takes #(there’s a… lot of interesting takes because they stopped watching years ago) #c talks #ALSO DONT GET ME WRONG. DOUBLE SHIELD WAS IMMEDIATELY PAINFUL TOO. #but I personally still enjoyed it more than goats in terms of it being finally changed #I lovedddd playing zarya especially if I had a great rein (playing d.va wasn’t too bad but I didn’t enjoy her as much) #but still. I played it for so long that I felt stagnant in improving #in order to avoid purely playing goats I had to use an alt to not damage my highest ranking account #you could still get away with forcing some team comp shifts but you had play your ass off and have a team capable of adapting a bit #I have literally so many hours on mei and reaper bc I can’t fucking play doomfist #they also were afraid of 1-2-2 and as much as I miss some incredible tank duo synergy now that I’ve played a lot of ow2 I can say it’s the #best damn thing they could’ve done for the game #ALSO it’s completely fine to take such a long break and have… odd… takes because of it but it’s kinda funny to see it condensed in one long #post that drifts across your dashboard lmao

[henryhas2moms]

unfortunately i don’t think i have ever felt so passionately defensive about a character as i am about regina. sometimes i’ll read something that is so wrong and incorrect, sometimes even from someone who likes regina, and i will turn into this thing

#usually they’re from like 2013 even so i have NO REASON so get so worked up #the WORST one i read from someone who LIKED regina said she could’ve appreciated henry and emma as her GRANDKIDS instead of the s2 #custody battles with emma and the charmings. which. excuse me… WHAT????? that’s her SON and i’m stealing something from your house #the worst take i saw from someone who did NOT like regina………. y’all don’t even want to hear it. #……… but im still mad so im gonna tell you granted i saw it like several months ago and it was made in like 2014 probably but #it was a gifset with regina’s ‘i don’t know how to love very well’ quote matched with (from what i recall) harmful actions against #henry (what the quote is referencing in context and also they have repaired a lot even before the gif was posted so fine ig) #snow (it’s complicated) cora (regina actually loves her mother far more than she deserves imo) and hold onto your fucking hats everyone #KING ​LEOPOLD!!!!!! (if you need me to explain to you why this is the worst thing i’ve ever heard. no you don’t) #<- needless to say!!! if you don’t watch your mouth i’m putting snakes in YOUR bed!!! #actually i’m not even sure if the first three examples are what was used bc the last one sent me into a rage blackout #and i’m not gonna go looking for that post anyway the others i can roll my eyes and move on the last one turns me into a fire demon #not making this rebloggable but feel free to be outraged in the comments with me xoxo #yes that is specific the flame atronach from skyrim no i didn’t know how to spell that i googled like ‘flame….. anteater skyrim’

[marshmellowtea]

tbh i feel like my interest in willmartha would skyrocket 200% if it wasn’t treated as the fandom’s Golden Fluffy Healthy Ship

#not gonna tag this cuz i’m just taking aloud but this is about the who’s lila characters if you couldn’t tell and we’re curious #like honestly i still think i wouldn’t be that interested in it even without that baggage #martha just. does not interest me lmao and i think they both have more compelling dynamics with other characters #but in the fan content i see for it it feels like. super idealized? #which honestly that one its own is fine. whatever. doesn’t interest me cuz i like mess lol but there’s nothing inherently wrong with that #it’s just when it’s put up against willtanya that it. causes an issue for me #cuz as much as it seems to have died down i can tell at the beginning the fandom had a lot of hostility toward tanya #and agaibst willtanya as a ship #and obviously. i’m a huge fan of both of those things #and it puts a bad taste in my mouth when i get the vibes that willmartha is meant to be this cutesy healthy (better) alternative #both from a willtanya pov but also a ‘you don’t have to think a ship is healthy to enjoy it’ pov #and also from a ‘willtanya doesn’t have to be unhealthy and under better circumstances it could’ve worked you guys are just mean’ pov #i just #really really hate this idea of martha getting pushed forward like ‘see?? here’s will’s REAL perfect partner!! they won’t have any strife!! #when first off all any relationship would have some form of strife #and second of all is just a really boring interpretation of a ship i already feel super bored by #idk if any of this makes sense i’ve just been thinking about this rn hfhfdhvdg #in some alternate universe i could see myself theoretically liking this ship but eugh #the presentation of it bothers me idk idk #marshy speaks

[tempestclerics]

.

#just put together why some of the particular interactions I’ve been having lately have been rubbing me the wrong way so much #I feel as if. I am being confided in a lot. which I appreciate - it means that people trust me and that I’m helpful to them - but also mean #I have very quickly become very aware of a lot of information #including people’s weird grudges and long-standing relationship dynamics and other things that I don’t need to know! to interact with them! #if I don’t like someone I am very bad at not letting that show on my face #and so it’s doubly unsettling to have someone confide in me that they secretly have major clashes with someone else #partly because I see them continue to interact and you could’ve fooled me #which really just underlines that I’m lucky people trust me enough to tell me things because I could not have picked any of this up on my #own which makes me so worried that I’m missing even more interpersonal land mines #but also because. if you tell me this! it is so hard to not let this poison my own relationships with whatever person you have beef with! #because I can’t keep the things I know (because i didn’t ask but you told me anyway) off my face! #I wish i were better at reading people and at keeping what I’m thinking off my face and at not being so bothered by what other people think #about me and each other #I don’t give a fuck whether or not you can smile and laugh and be fake friendly with people you’ve told me you hate. but I wish it didn’t #send me into a spiral about why you seem so fine and good at this while I’m sitting here with the information you gave me making me unable #to genuinely be friends with people I have no personal beef with #why is this so easy for you and so hard for me #five more weeks. #delete later #sola said #also if you're reading this this is not about you i just. aughhh

[angelsdean]

the bunker is huge everyone they know should’ve been living there. the full house-ification of spn is what i want. family sitcom hijinks and an ensemble cast bc oh what was that phrase they love to quote? Family don’t end in blood !!!

#for a show that’s constantly says that they sure do put a lot more emphasis and focus on the two dudes related by blood #literally in the later seasons I do not care abt brothers they’re so boring do they even like each other anymore ? unsure #i want Crowley rowena Charlie Kevin Alive-Bobby Jody and the girls mary etc all living in the bunker #like a revolving door of characters they’re not always all there together obvs bc they’ll be away on cases sometimes #but !!!! there are times when it’s a full house and boy is it entertaining #GABRIEL showing up for a weekend that turns into an extended stay #Gabriel-rowena-sam-Eileen polycule #dean-Cas-crowley sexually charged angst #gay bestie sleepovers w Charlie #Kevin and jack staying up all night playing video games #Mary and Claire mirror bonding #god we could’ve had so much good stuff if they’d just. moved away from it being a show abt brothers #also deancas would’ve gone canon in like s12/13 and we’d have married shenanigans #vic.txt

[arklay]

runs in here

#it’s 2am and i can’t sleep because one of the prompts i already had an idea for i got another way the conversation could go and i’m chomping #biting snarling over it you know? ''another way the conversation could’ve gone'' no leah it’s 12 years later and you are having them do the #exact same thing actions wise in the outline but the words are different lmao anyway now i’m stuck between domestic ass early relationship #and kinda soft but then turns to angsty momence bit before he dies and i need to lie down cause he’s not thinking about himself for once in #this timeframe and i’m abrhrvrvrrgegvrbdhfhfjd cause then he fuckin dies i’m oughghghgb oh boys we’re in it now. but see now idk when i’ll #write this cause i want to finish rewriting the other thingies i started but i mean i could have multiple things going at once i guess 🤔 #cause none of my ideas or anything have changed i’m just adding more detail in my old writing cause my style has changed but like it’s #basically the same stuff. but this prompt i’m oughgh over cause like AAAAAA but also idk i’m very mmm about this new idea cause i’ll be #mentioning like. terminal illness. if i did write it and post it and idk even though i put warnings i don’t wanna ever trigger anyone so mmm #but i mean if you know that character then like yeah ough i also had another little like thought but i’m not doing that lmao but anyway #head full at all times i can’t sleep now even though i’m so sleepy tired from this cold #oh also though like i just can’t decide because i like both ideas a lot so i’m shrugs mmmmm lying on the floor #REREAD THESE TAGS AND LMAOOOOOO why do i talk like this #leah.txt

[bo0zey]

thinking abt how i’m already a chronic maladaptive daydreamer w a sensitive sidereal pisces moon in the 8th house and having access to klonopin is like a forcefield of protection for my brain and body it’s only times like these i feel safe enough to come out of hiding and glide around the real world for a little bit before the drugs wear off and i dive back into my other multi universes and try to experience life through them instead except but lately it’s gotten harder and i think it’s because i’ve been so out of touch with reality for so long that i got stuck in this weird state of writer’s purgatory i used to be able to draw so much inspiration for my characters and story plots from the real world but now it’s blanks ……..i need 2 go outside n touch grass or smthing how do i feel connected to myself and the world again i don’t want to but i think that’s the reason why i can’t write anymore as much as i try…i spent >17hrs a day trying to organize 4 different stories at a time my brain is scattered im losing hope and motivation all over again …. alllll over again!!

#also i would like 2 add that pisces + drugs r Not a good combo bc pisces are already prone to escapism #finding out i’ve been a sidereal pisces moon all along rlly changed a lot for me like when i’m actively present in reality my aries moon #she’s like grrrrr emotional rampage chaos like the aries moon sun stereotype??? no bb that ones for the Moon lmao #i hate the term maladaptive daydreaming i feel like everyone uses it like haha im so quirkyy but like #ok listen i’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal if anything their comments just make me want to invalidate my own feelings anymore #i’ve been told i struggle w imposter syndrome i didn’t like when my therapist told me that it didn’t make me feel any more validated #i felt like she was lying to placate me #i wish i could’ve taken up writing in a healthier coping mechanism way but instead i let it take over everything my entire world #i could’ve graduated college w a way better gpa n shit but no i wasted hours writing instead of assignments and still i have nothing to show #maladaptive daydreaming ruined my life i want to cry i can’t believe im saying this when i condisdered it my safe space for so long #my sanctuary my garden of eden what have i done i feel like i just ate fruit from the tree of knowledge and now i see i realize i was never #i was never safe anywhere . my stories entrapped me i lost all my friends bc i liked the ones in my head so much better #now i’m alone and lost and stuck between 2 worlds i can’t believe how i used to write 30 diff works in progress at one point i had ideas #now i’m stuck in a cycle of recycling new and old ideas there’s nothing new i get lost and confused i’ve entangled myself in this web #this story web!! haha lol #idk what im saying im going to shut up now my brains foggy #i have an idea but it’s not appropriate for tumblr so im gonna write it down in my dumb journal #ramblings

[bi-panic-at-the-disco]

i know that I am being absolutely ridiculous and definitely stared at my painting for too long and am tired of it but also ughhh like I’m following my photo and maybe my photo is just boring and it feels like the colors are the only thing going for it compared to other peoples!! i just want this to be done!!

#disco speaks! #i wanna think that it looks good and I know it does but I don’t like not feeling like I’m the best #i want everyone to look at it and be like wow!! woah!!! and just idk #painting isn’t very fun right now and I hate finishing things cause that means i can’t work on it ever again #well no it’s more like if it’s in progress then you can imagine how cool it’s going to look but when it’s done #when it’s done. it’s just you looking at everything you did do and everything that you could’ve done #it’s a reflection of my current skills and I don’t want to look at it and think oh no #cause it also feels like a reflection of me as a person. of how I think and how I make decisions #and that’s something that’s horrifying cause what if it’s not good and I’m not that good?? #this should be reserved for a notes or in my sketchbook but I already started typing #idk I look at the other pieces and like what decisions other people made #i also put a lot of my identity into being the best artist and it’s been that way since middle school #I know my art is good but other people’s art is also good and it feels like everything has to be a competition #as if there is going to be first place second place and so on #I’ve had a lot of time to think while painting #i don’t want to be last.

[ilsafaaust]

.

#I’m just going to put my ramble in the tags bc no one cares and that’s fine #I love this is us and I love that we got kophie endgame more than life itself #but #I really wish they had made more use of having alex #she’s so talented and considering they haven’t been able to have her consistently in years/seasons #and now they finally have her and they just aren’t using her?? #like she’s been in the past 4 eps and apart from kophie the movie has barely said over 10 words?? #they’ve been trying to get her back for so long and are now just using her as a glorified extra?? #I know it’s the final season and they have a lot to get through etc but they really could’ve utilised her better #maybe it’s just me being salty bc I’m the biggest alex breck stan and just think she’s so underrated and deserves the world but still #don’t get me wrong I’m super happy with kophie and all the crumbs that’s entailed #but we could’ve had so much more!! #and with only 3 eps left I’m losing hope on how much more of her we’ll get to see #give me a kophie/sophie spin off baby!!! #at the very least I’d LOVE justin and alex to work together again🥺 #their chemistry is the BEST and you can tell they love working together<3 #okay ramble over!! time to enjoy the last few eps<3