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bellarkelifestyle · 7 years

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THANKS Y’ALL <3

WOWOWOWOW I can’t believe I’ve just hit 500 followers!! You guys are seriously all so amazing and it warms my heart knowing there’s so many of y’all out there hearing what I’m shouting into the void of the internet (ik it’s mostly bellarke so THANKS BELLARKE FAM!!!!)

As an impossibly small measure of my gratitude and love for you guys, this is a little bellarke fic I’ve been messing with. Essentially, it’s a “what we should have got in 4x03″ set in the iconic af list scene from that episode, which is seriously one of my fave bellarke episodes ever. It’s canon divergence and mostly inspired from my own fluffy bellarke day dreams. Hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what y’all think! Thanks again you guys!! MWAH

As Long as the World Keeps Spinning

Clarke stares at the list, looking dejected, the tears still fresh in her eyes. Bellamy is overcome with the desperate urge to do something, anything, to offer her some sort of comfort. He knows what it’s like to feel unworthy of a second chance. but she, this girl in front of him, made him believe he was worth it. And if he’s worth it, then she most definitely is. Hesitating on a course of action for a brief second, he finally decides to reach out to her. Placing his hand on her shoulder, his fingers settling on the back of her neck, his little finger accidentally slips under the collar of her shirt to rest on the small bone at the base of her neck. For an instant, no one moves. But then Clarke inhales raggedly, and to Bellamy’s surprise, her small, warm hand comes up and covers his. Shocking him further, she leans her cheek onto her hand and turns her face towards his palm.

Bellamy is stricken with disbelief; he has no idea what to do. Thankfully, Clarke’s always been good at figuring out the next step. She stands, releasing his hand, and Bellamy jolts to remove his as well, but before he can get far, her right hand darts up and returns his hand to her shoulder. She’s grasping it tightly, like a silent plea not to go. He abides; of course he abides. He’d do anything if it meant he could offer her even a fraction of the solace she’s given him since he met her. Turning to face him, her hand slides around his until they’re interlocked, but he can’t seem to meet her gaze. She tugs his hand softly, beckoning for his attention. Unable to deny her, his gaze shoots up and he sees so much torment in her eyes, that it shatters his heart.

Wanting, needing to comfort her, they move simultaneously, as if they were of one mind, his arms folding around her waist as hers snake around his neck, and they pull each other into a tight embrace. With their bodies flush, he can feel Clarke trembling slightly, and he tucks his face into that little spot next to her neck, where her blond waves envelop his face. He would never admit it, but he’s pretty sure it’s his favourite place on earth.

As he breathes her in, he marvels at the effect she has on him. It never fails to amaze him how he’s instantly calmer when he’s with her. He can feel Clarke’s mouth on the little patch of his shoulder exposed by the well-worn, stretched out t-shirt. His skin tingles where her lips make contact, where her breath comes out in small puffs, but he forces that train of thought out of his mind. It’s not what she wants, he tells himself for the millionth time. Lost in her touch, in just being with her, he’s not sure how long they’ve been standing here like this. It could’ve been minutes, hours even. All he knows is that he never wants to leave. But something’s changed. Clarke, he realizes, as she begins to shift within his arms. Quickly he begins to unfold from her, but she seems to have a different idea. Clarke removes her arms from his neck, but instead of pulling away from him like he expects, she trails her fingers down to his chest. Her head drops to the middle, tucked into his sternum, and she curls herself even closer to his body. For the second time tonight, Bellamy has no idea what to do. but as usual, Clarke seems to have a plan.

With her left hand resting in a loose fist, and her right hand splayed over his heart, she strokes her thumb up and down, mimicking the beating of his heart.

Thump thump. Thump thump.

The breath catches in Bellamy’s throat. His heart feels like it’s glowing, and he knows Clarke can feel it speeding up. He shifts his arms, but Clarke makes a small sound or protest, so he moves one hand to rest in between her shoulder blades and keeps the other one firmly on her waist. He too moves his thumbs up and down, mimicking his racing heart. Finally, he allows himself to rest his cheek on the top of Clarke’s head. For a while, it’s just content silence, until Clarke speaks.

“I love this sound,” she whispers, and she must sense Bellamy’s confusion, because she adds, “your heartbeat. Because it means that you’re alive, and you’re okay. That we’re okay.“

Stunned, Bellamy can’t think of anything to say. The potential gravity of the words she’s just admitted has only begun to hit him. He doesn’t want to read this the wrong way. After all, he reminds himself, it’s not what she wants. So he manages to find his voice in the confusion of his emotions and whispers back, "Clarke?"

Clarke moves her head back, forcing him to meet her gaze. She looks beautiful, standing there in front of him, chin set in the confident, stubborn way he’s all too familiar with. The way that used to irritate him to no end when they first crashed on this hellish planet but eventually became something he admired, a trademark of her conviction when it came to protecting her people - their people. Her lips, set in a tight but welcoming line, the warmth from the smile her heart is too heavy to show still seeping through. And finally, her eyes.

Those brilliant blue eyes, the colour of the sky the first time he ever saw it, which was also the first day he met her. A good day, he remembers fondly. They’re still glistening from the emotional task of the list but are somehow filled with hope and determination; the very qualities about her that got him through his overwhelming self-loathing back in the early days of the dropship, when it was just them and 100 kids against the world. But there’s another emotion in her eyes, one he’s just barely glimpsed at a few times before, one that both enthralls and terrifies him.

He’s seen it when she gazed at him when they reunited in Camp Jaha after the Ark landed; when she stole his breath by telling him she ‘couldn’t lose him too’; when he placed his hand on top of hers in Mount Weather; when he wiped the hair out of her face in that desolate cave; when he crouched in front of her and held her hands when she snuck into Arkadia; when she told him the world was ending standing in front of the grounder throne, and looking back now, probably a million other times in between. It’s an emotion he hasn’t dared to hope she would ever feel or reciprocate. His mouth is suddenly dry, and any words he thought he was capable of speaking have left him. All he can do is stare at her.

Clarke purses her lips, and her words tumble out. "You make me feel safe… like safety is something I - we - can actually achieve. And… I trust you, more than I’ve ever trusted anyone in the world, and I need you if I’m even going to have a chance of getting through all this but it’s more than that now, and if I’m being honest, it probably has been for a while, because… I need you. and I know I’ve said it before but I mean it differently this time, Bellamy. I need you."

And that’s when Bellamy knows that the third emotion in her eyes, the unnamed one, the one he didn’t dare name is, in fact, the one he never believed he’d ever receive. Gazing up at him, with her eyes the colour of that endless sky from their first day on Earth, shining, filled with hope and determination, he knows what that unnamed emotion is, and yes, it’s actually, really, finally, love. She loves you, echoes his mind, and Bellamy is so overcome with heart-bursting joy that all he can do is stutter "I- I- I-” but it doesn’t even seem to matter because the next thing he registers is Clarke’s lips pressing against his. They’re warm and soft and when he opens his mouth against hers, they’re sweet too, and just so perfect.

For a few long seconds - too-short seconds - Bellamy’s entire world is just Clarke and her lips on his lips, her cheek under his thumb, her hair tangled in his fingers, her hands clutching his chest and nothing has ever felt more right in his miserable, horrible, pathetic, beautiful, wondrous, amazing life than this. Because of her. Because of Clarke Griffin.

When they finally separate, Bellamy stares at Clarke as she stares right back, and in between their heavy breaths, Clarke gives him a gorgeous, glowing smile, and Bellamy knows he can die happy because he’s seen her full of joy. The knowledge that he’s a part of that is a blessing of its own. He returns her grin with one of his own, a big smile that’s stretching across his face, making him look a little goofy but he couldn’t care less because here she is, here is Clarke standing in front of him smiling at him because she kissed him. Nothing will ever be greater than this moment. At least, that’s what he thought, up until Clarke utters the words that cause his heart to stop beating entirely.

"I hope you know…” she begins, but then pauses. She seems hesitant, afraid even. And it dawns on Bellamy why. Because he feels the same way too. That to love someone is to doom them.

Well, he thinks, maybe this can be different. Maybe we can be different. But he doesn’t want to push her, and he’s about to tell her so when Clarke makes up her mind.

“That I love you,” she exhales in a rush. “I love you,” she repeats with conviction, a smile teasing her lips. Smiling even wider, Bellamy leans forward until his forehead rests against hers.

Breathing her in, he steadies his nerves before replying. “Of course I love you.“ He catches a hint of her smirk as he places his thumb in the little dimple in her chin, tipping her head up so that their lips can meet once more. Bellamy knows that he can get through anything as long as she’s by his side. And he’ll be damned if she ever feels alone in this world again.

"We’re in this together, right?” Clarke asks softly.

"Together,” he affirms. “Always.“ And if he has any say in it, it’ll be for as long as this terrible, beautiful planet keeps spinning.

check out more of my fic here

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