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lit-in-thy-heart · 3 years

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and the next instalment of the merlin gif analysis saga is...

gwaine realising he's in love with merlin

because i want to make myself cry

Glossing over the fact that the first gif actually makes something in my chest clench, this seems to be the episode where Gwaine realises that he might be a lot little in love with Merlin.

Elyan definitely seems to believe that Gwaine is in love with someone in 5×06 (thanks @sneakyboymerlin for reminding me of that) and you could argue that Gwaine's lack of interaction with Merlin in 5×05 proves that it's not Merlin he's in love with, but think about it.

Gwaine rarely reveals his true feelings when he's around other people, but Merlin seems to be the exception. He's put himself out on the line before (yes I'm thinking about the 'Not Arthur' scene, I'm always thinking about that scene) because he can't seem to help but lay himself bare in front of Merlin. So if he's realised that he cares for Merlin a bit more than he should, he is going to be terrified of revealing that fact, and avoids Merlin because that's the only way he is going to be able to process his feelings.

Because Gwaine has it bad.

He loves Merlin subtly, powerfully. In the first gif, he casts a glance over his shoulder to make sure that Percival is still behind him and has still got hold of Merlin (honestly I don't know what they'd do without Percival, he's essentially the assigned transportation knight) and what's really interesting is what Gwaine is doing with his hand. It's not quite gripped on his sword, but hovering above it, with the fingers splayed. And perhaps I'm projecting but that is a movement I usually associate with trying to calm yourself down when panicked. As if he's telling himself to take a breath and everything will be fine. And the way Gwaine takes Merlin from Percival is so painfully gentle. He lets Merlin's body fall into his arms, rather than actively manipulating his form with his hands. Gwaine seems very reluctant to disturb Merlin in any way at all, choosing to kneel behind his head and slow down the process of setting Merlin down, despite the situation being quite dire. He handles Merlin like he's a glass ornament, as if he's afraid of him shattering at any moment.

Merlin is relatively well-supported by the makeshift bed they've got going on, yet Gwaine chooses to leave his hand resting on Merlin's shoulder. In fact, it doesn't look just like it's resting, but he's moulded his whole hand to fit around Merlin's shoulder. His hand doesn't need to be there. Gwaine doesn't even need to be there. He could easily be stood with the other knights, yet his instinct is to be as close to Merlin as he can. The only way he could be closer is by having Merlin in his lap, but that would probably make it more difficult for Gaius to examine him.

Gwaine has never really been one to shy away from physical contact. In the season 3 episodes he consistently provides Merlin with hugs (mostly when Arthur has rejected him but we'll get onto that whole thing in a bit) despite not knowing each other for that long. Even later on in this episode, he drops all the firewood to give Merlin a hug when he recovers. There seems to be an instinctive urge to be close to Merlin. And the fact that Merlin's head is resting on Gwaine's forearm is making me want to curl up in a ball and scream. And maybe Gwaine has never questioned this eagerness for physical contact before. But by the second gif, I think he knows what his initial refusal to be away from an unconscious Merlin means.

And a key part to this analysis is something I never thought I'd be looking at in depth, as glorious as it is: Gwaine's hair.

The first image directly follows the first gif, and the second image precedes the second gif. You can see that Gwaine's hair in the first image is much flatter than it is in the second. By the time Arthur and Co have left and Merlin is still unconscious, Gwaine seems to have been running his hands consistently through his hair. It's significantly messier and, whilst it could be argued that the wind plays a part, Gaius's hair remains largely unaltered. And one way to try and deal with stress or panic is to run your fingers through your hair again and again. It's not difficult to believe that Gwaine has been pacing up and down doing exactly that because Merlin is still not waking up.

If he was panicked before, then he's feeling tormented now. His hair, pushed out of his face in the first gif and image, is falling unchecked into his face and Gwaine, who usually keeps his hair in a relatively immaculate condition, is doing nothing about it. Because Merlin is lying right in front of him, potentially dying, and he has no clue how to deal with that.

In the second gif, Gwaine partially turns away and looks up, seeming to take a quick breath. He's deliberately not looking at either Merlin or Gaius, and this reaction comes after Gaius implies that Merlin could have internal injuries. And if there's internal damage and Gaius doesn't know how to deal with it, then Merlin doesn't stand a chance. And it's quite possible that Gwaine is looking up like that to try and blink away tears or just to ground himself. Merlin has been seriously injured before (think of the writers using him as a bit of a punching bag in season 4) but that damage was always external and Merlin was healed rather quickly. If it's internal, then nothing can be done by Gwaine. And it is when Gwaine is faced with the thought of being without Merlin that he realises just how much he needs him.

And when there's the slimmest chance that Gwaine might be able to help, he launches himself into it. When Gaius tells him to get firewood, he starts off in a manner that is almost a sprint, before seeming to realise that being in that much of a rush would expose his feelings, and he hesitates before electing for a fast walk instead. Because the only way he can keep himself from falling apart is to focus on helping Merlin and the possibility that he might be alright after all.

Look at his face here. He is stunned, then ecstatic, then confused. And the way that he moves towards Merlin makes it clear that he is not going to give him the trademark one-armed hug, but a full-on embrace. And Merlin brushes Gwaine off, because he doesn't have the time because Arthur is in danger and Gwaine probably should be paying more attention to what Merlin is saying but he's not. He's giving Gaius a tender smile as if to thank him for helping Merlin.

Gwaine hasn't made any mention of Arthur or the knights, even though it is a dangerous mission with or without knowing it's a trap, and his preoccupation with Merlin shows just how deeply he cares for him. The fact that his first instinct is once again to make physical contact with him, even though there was the prospect of internal damage and hugging Merlin might not have been the best thing to do, just says that Gwaine has got it tremendously bad for Merlin.

It took the thought of Merlin dying for Gwaine to realise that he was in love with him, and Gwaine spends the rest of the series struggling to deal with that.

He distances himself from Merlin for two episodes, not engaging in any conversations with just the two of them, until--

THE SUBTEXT.

Merlin's glance down in the first gif, demonstrating that he'd also do anything to protect his mother, is one thing, but Gwaine's reaction? The subtle sag of his body, the eyes darting down away from Merlin, the gentle swallow. In that moment, he's thinking how he would do anything to protect Merlin. Gwaine's gaze lingers on Merlin for a moment before he looks away, realising that Merlin has no idea how he feels about him. There's so much tenderness in that one look, especially after the slight annoyance that there seemed to be when Merlin kept talking about Arthur.

Gwaine was Merlin's friend before he was a knight. But Merlin only seems to see him as a knight these days, and Gwaine seems to decide that the only way he can indicate any of the love he has for Merlin is by being what Merlin wants him to be: a soldier to protect Arthur.

You have my word on it, Merlin.

You have my word that I will protect the one you care about the most. You have my word that I will keep him safe for you, so you don't have to feel the same pain I did. You have my word that I will put my life on the line for him, because he means more to you than I ever will.

Because this is when Gwaine realises that though he may love Merlin, Merlin will not love him back.

The way Gwaine falls back in his chair is incredibly interesting. There seems to be a bit of an impact with his shoulders, suggesting that he's hitting it with some force, but his limbs seem pretty tense. He's not slumping back in it from fatigue, he seems to be subtly throwing himself back in it. Because when Merlin was injured, Gwaine was thinking only about him and worrying about his welfare. But when Gwaine himself is injured (or has faced a threat of injury), Merlin spends the whole time talking about Arthur. And Gwaine can never measure up to Arthur. Gwaine only received hugs from Merlin when he'd been rejected by Arthur; a part of him believes that he's second best to Arthur in Merlin's eyes. And Gwaine is resigned to that, to never being able to measure up to Arthur, but is not happy about it. But he clings on to Merlin in whatever ways he can. By protecting Arthur. By greeting him when he's released from the cells and being one of the first faces he sees.

And just before their final interaction in the finale, Gwaine doesn't give Merlin a hug after Merlin has faced injury, but a touch on the arm. A touch that is incredibly similar to the one Arthur has given Merlin many times.

Because maybe, just maybe, if Gwaine can prove that he's similar to Arthur, then Merlin might look at him in the same way he looks at Arthur. Might prioritise Gwaine for once. Might even return a fraction of the love that Gwaine hasn't known what to do with for most of the season.

Gwaine would do anything for Merlin, but, by the final season, Merlin only sees him as a shield for Arthur.

#good morning everyone #maybe i am just projecting my behaviours and reactions onto gwaine but i think the point does stand #i feel like this does very much link to merlin's lack of self-worth and how he feels arthur is more important than him #gwaine could prove him wrong but gwaine doesn’t want to face rejection #so he drops subtle hints everywhere but never comes straight out with it #but in conclusion gwaine loves merlin and eira is a rebound and merlin is too preoccupied with keeping arthur alive to notice anything #so gwaine never reveals his feelings #and everyone ends up unhappy #so yay to that #merlin #gwaine #merwaine #merlin meta #merlin gif thoughts #bbc merlin #my gifs #merlin spoilers #bbc merlin spoilers #merlin season 5 spoilers

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kiwi-strawberry-banana · 4 years

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So, this post is going to be an analysis on SkekTek the Scientist, comparing his movie self versus his tv self, as well as various predictions for season 2 or onwards. I know there have been analysis of him before, but this is a big ole hodgepodge of my own thoughts.

Ok, so, I will make no secret that SkekTek is my favorite, and as such I may or may not have analyzed him a lot in many pictures from the movie and tv show, and heres what I think;

The first season is only a peek at his descent into madness, as well as the lengths he will go to gain the approval of all around him.

In the show, it is already shown that SkekTek seeks the approval of those around him, especially the Emperor. He is regarded as the weakest Skeksis and, as such, is at the end of a lot of ridicule from the other Skeksis (he is most commonly referred to as "weakling" by various Skeksis including SkekVar the General, SkekMal the Hunter, and I believe SkekSo the Emperor). The ridicule is to the point where he is often secluded in his lab with his only friends being animals and Sidetic. ("SkekTek never forgets a true friend.")

His desire for acceptance from the other Skeksis is so deep reaching that he forsakes many things, such as his friendship with Aughra.

When she is being strapped to the chair, preparing to be drained, she brings up their past friendship. There is so much nuance behind here doing so. In that moment, she is reaching out to SkekTek, reminding him of what they once had, of how she hasn't forgotten.

She is reaching out and giving him a chance to stop. And if he had simply brushed her off, I wouldn't be bringing this up. But rather than immediately ignore her or respond

He looks to The Emperor, the Skeksis that rules over all of them, and one that SkekTek has been vying for approval from for so long.

And SkekSo knows it.

(Gif credit @rabid-apathy)

He doesn't tell SkekTek to get a move on, nor does he berate him. Instead, he looks to the side, almost as in a "you know what to do" type gesture. At this point, SkekTek is in too far deep, so desperate for the approval of his brethren that don't care about him in the slightest that he forsakes the possibility of rekindling a lost friendship.

"Another world, another time."

If you rewatch this scene and watch Aughras reaction after SkekTek says that (because I can't find the gif or pic of it), she is genuinely hurt and saddened by SkekTeks response. She was being genuine when she reminded him of their friendship and was hoping that maybe it could still be there, that he could stop this.

But he didn't.

And after further ridicule from multiple Skeksis and gorging himself on essence, he does what some would say is the moment he snaps.

He kills the Gruenaks.

I know this scene has already been analyzed before, so I won't go as in depth, but that moment was a very pivotal scene. Aside from it being the moment that all the anger that has been building up inside SkekTek comes out, as well as when the idea of the Garthim comes to pass, it is also both a sad and terrifying moment for both the Gruenaks and SkekTek.

For the Gruenaks, the moment is terrifying because they were so close to freedom only for the horrifying reality to come crashing back in their faces.

And for SkekTek, the moment is horrifying for two reasons. One, because he had been going through so much ridicule and mockery for so long despite everything he did for the Skeksis that the moment of two Gruenak slaves defying him ("No slaves") was the ultimate tipping point.

For so long, I don't think SkekTek even felt like one of the Skeksis. It is commented on by the Emperor when he confronts SkekTek on how much essence will be needed for immortality (Can't remember the exact quote, but it is along the lines of how SkekTek takes solace in animals compared to being around the other Skeksis). Time and time again, SkekTek rarely interacts with other Skeksis unless they need something. So when he sees the Gruenaks have turned against him, he goes on a long spiel about how he is SkekTek the Scientist, a master of life and death, etc.

But he ends it with:

"I am Skeksis!"

A yell that is desperate. A need for affirmation, one that no Skeksis has given him. And with it, he snaps.

If the Gruenaks hadn't resisted, it's likely he still would have killed them. If not, they would have at least been severely wounded. There was too much rage and, combined with him being drunk on essence, there was nothing the Gruenaks could have done to calm SkekTek down.

And that moment with the Gruenaks? That is the point where things tip.

That moment is the first big step into his descent into insanity.

There had been smaller steps up until then, such as the draining of Gelfling, the loss of his eye, the constant ridicule, and draining Aughra. But the Gruenaks was big.

Which brings me to my next point:

I don't know if this has been brought up before, if it has I have not seen it, but SkekTek is horrifyingly different when you compare his tv self and his movie self.

Tv:

Movie:

All the other Skeksis are obviously decrepit by the time of the movie (fun fact, movie SkekOk has one extra pair of glasses compared to tv SkekOk), however SkekTek is the most different.

We see him lose his eye in the show, and while the book states that he replaced his own arm and leg with robotic prosthetics, as well as put tubes in his body to study his bloodflow, those things do not happen before the tv show.

And I know this because, if you compare the two, it is clear that Skektek does have both arms in the show where as in the movie:

You can clearly see that that arm is definitely a robotic one.

(Fun fact 2, watch his scenes from the movie and watch his arms. While he will use the robotic one, he doesn't actually move that one around all that much compared to his other arm.)

Aside from his arm, movie SkekTek has a large amount of tubes, wires, and metal pieces all throughout his body, including even more where his eye prosthetic is.

I could go on with the side by side comparisons, but I think it is safe to say that there is more that happens to SkekTek aside from him aging.

But a final big change from the time of the show versus the movie has to be his animals.

I've already stated that in the show, they are his only real companions (especially Sidetic). The animals in his lab are his only company and, frankly, are rather calm when it's just SkekTek in the lab. But by the movie? He is constantly yelling at them to be quiet, regarding them cruelly and awfully while they screech about the moment he enters the room.

Which brings me to my final point and some speculation:

It is likely that, despite the creation of the Garthim, as well as him having developed the method for creating essence, SkekTek is still going to be the subject of constant ridicule by the Skeksis, to the point where his last shred of sanity snaps and he begins the experiments on his body.

Whether those experiments are due to the Emperors demand for a solution for his own deteriorating body or because SkekTek is so desperate to no longer be seen as weak that he replaces his limbs in a desperate bid for more strength, that is up for debate.

SkekTek is one of the few Skeksis to actually think about things such as the wellbeing of Thra (his momentary plea to the Emperor that the more they drain Gelfling, the faster the Darkening will spread), as well as having moments of genuine kindness to creatures that aren't Skeksis ("Hush now, hush now. All is well."), but like the rest of the Skeksis, SkekTek is driven by a combination of greed and fear, one that sends him on a downward spiral until he meets his ultimate end.

Tldr; SkekTek has a rougher time in the foreseeable future. Someone give this vulture a vacation please.

(Also, I do not condone any of the awful things SkekTek does. Yes, killing is bad.)

(Final thing, I know there is debatable continuity between the show and the movie. Even so, I still wanted to do this. Because I can.)

#the dark crystal #the dark crystal age of resistance #skeksis #skektek #my post #analysis

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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❛ F*CKING HIGH ❜

with Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas.

Request: Hey! Maybe prompt 52. When Creeper get shot and Mayans don't know reader but when hé was high on medication he call her at Vicky's House ? 🙈Something really Fluff ? Thanks!! I love ur writings 😊😊

BY ANON

Warnings: none.

Word count: 1.6k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author, I found it on Google.

Masterlist.

The books over the table with a lot of notes scattered around them are starting to give you a horrible headache. You don't know how many hours you have been studying, but you're sure that it was daytime. When you focus your gaze on the horizon, through the window, you're aware of the streetlights turned on outside and the dark sky above Santo Padre. It's your final week to complete the MIR and you have left just one exam. The last one. So, when Creeper told you he was going to travel to Las Vegas for a couple days, you have to recognize that you felt a little alleviated. You want to spend the maximum time possible with him, but you also have to study, but both things aren't compatible. Even so, he should be at home already.

Checking the time on the clock in your wrist, you snort getting up from your chair to pick up the books and your pens. It's enough study for today and you're really hungry. After cleaning the table, you fall down on the sofa turning on the TV and looking in your phone for something to take away. Cooking it's not an option today. Choosing the local pizzeria for excellence, you're about to make the order when an incoming call interrupts your plans. Reading his name on the screen, you answer quickly.

“Babe!”

“Maaaaamaaaa”. He sings, making you frown somewhat confused sitting on the sofa. “Heeeeey, maaaamaaaa”.

“Are you… high, Neron?”

“Yeah… Fuckin' high… for you, my loooove”.

“What the hell? Where the fuck are you?”

“Mama, I want you here. I need you here, maaaama!”

“Ner—”.

“I am… close”.

“Close from what?”

“Border, mama. Close to the border. Come with meeee. I need my nurse, mama, pleaaase”.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Your heart is racing, jumping off from the sofa, running to your shared room.

“A guy shot me, mama. But don' worre', I'm okaaaay”.

“Neron, send me your location right now!”

“Mama, mama, mama, are you comen'?”

“FUCK, NERON, OF COURSE I'M COMING. SEND ME THE FUCKING LOCATION”.

“Don'... Don' shout at me, mama”.

From nowhere, you can hear him crying like a child. Even if he's high, that shit breaks your heart into pieces. Stopping next to your bed rubbing your forehead, barely gulping, you try to calm yourself.

“Are you alone?”

“N—No…”

“The bul—”.

“It's out, mama… I wan—want you here with me. I'm okay, mama, I'm okay… Come with me. Don'... leave me, don' break with me, mama, please”.

“Send me your location, okay? Could you do that for me?”

“Yeah, mama… Are you comen'?”

“Sí, Neron, I'm gonna get dressed, okay?”

“Okay, mama… I love you. I love you, mama. I truly love you, I swear”.

“I know, mi flaquito”.

Hanging up the call, you take some second to breathe calmly before looking for some clothes to put on and grabbing the medical kit when you're ready. They better have something to eat, or there will be more than one man shot. Leaving your house, your phone rings with a notification. The address of Vicki's house. You have heard about it, and you're not surprised at all. According to your boyfriend, this is the favorite place of Mayans. You don't know them, not yet, but you can imagine why they like it this much. Keeping the kit on the back seat, you step in your car turning the engine to follow the instructions recited by the gps.

When it says that you have reached your destiny, you focus through the Camaro's front window to find the house, looking exactly as he described you one day. Going out of the pilot seat and carrying the medical stuff in your right hand, you go upstairs practically jumping them to hit the door with your palm. A girl with brown hair, big eyes and almost naked welcomes you, pushing her by a side before she can talk.

“Hey, hey! Wait! You ca—”.

Coming into the living room, you finally meet his other family. They were drinking and laughing until you appeared, now staring at you confused. The one who you recognize as El Presidente gets up from his chair, the other two are pointing at you with their guns, warned by the bitch behind you.

“I'm from Tijuana, you can't scare me con una pistolita”. (With a gun). You spit with a strong mexican accent, containing a sarcastic laugh.

“Who are y—”.

“MAAAMI, MAAAAMIIIIIIII”.

Hearing your boyfriend calling you, you don't give them a single chance to let you introduce yourself, running upstairs following the laments of Creeper between moans and pleased begs. Disgusting. Opening the last green red door, you finally reach him. The medical kit falls from your hand shocked. Taking a step, you tour his silhouette lying on the mattress. Being shirtless you can see the bandage covering the bullet hole, with some blood trespassing the cotton, and the sling holding the other. His face isn't much better, with some scratches on his left cheek and his temple. The most disturbing is watching him crying like a scared child, trembling and trying to sit up on the bed.

Before the other mexicans can reach you, you're already kneeling on the bed not knowing where you're allowed to touch him and where not.

“Mami, I missed you”.

“You're an idiot, you know it, rai'?” You ask him with your eyes filled with tears, gently caressing the other cheek, while he nods.

Leaning forward you kiss his shaky lips once and again, before feeling his right arm surrounding your waist.

“Let me see the shot, okay?” Whispering, you get up from the bed to take the medical kit, under the look of the men waiting on the door.

“The doctor put it out, disinfected the wound and stitched it up”. El Presidente says, making you frown your eyebrows.

“The doctor, or the vet?”

“Wha—”.

“Answer before I fucking punch you”.

“The vet”.

Of course, it's not the same. Even the medicines that give you in the MIR are stronger than the ones for a veterinarian. Opening the kit over the bed and wearing a pair of blue gloves, you lean on Creeper to take off the bandage and the gauze, narrowing your eyes to see every stitch on it. It's… acceptable, but you could have done it better. Wetting some cotton with iodine, you clean the blood around the suture with soft moves to not hurt him more. Your boyfriend is assorted on how concentrate you look taking care of him.

“Do you know what you are doing, niña?” The oldest one rests his body against the frame.

“'Amma real doctor, not a veterinarian”. You respond without turning at him, but at your kit to find clean gauzes and an adhesive bandage to cover the sewn hole again. “What happened with the other, Neron?”

“Dislocated”. He just says gulping with parted lips.

“What did they gave you for the pain?”

“Just some pills, mami…”

“How many hours ago?”

“Almost ten”. El Presidente replies in his place, making you twist towards him.

“Okay, Creep', I'm going to prick you some morphine”. He just nods.

Grabbing a needle wrapped on a security plastic, you open it to fill it up with the transparent liquid from a small glass bottle. Hitting it softly with two fingers and letting some of the medicine spill on air, you lead the needle to his bare skin over the wound. Nailing it slowly until the metallic part has disappeared inside it. Then, you push the plastic container until empty. Taking off the needle and keeping it again inside its paper, to throw it later, you close the medical kit.

“You need to rest, okay?”

“Mami, stay with me, please… Don' go”. He begs you crying low and holding your hand as strong as he can.

“You need to rest”. You repeat raising both eyebrows and nodding with your chin one time, caressing his grip with your fingers. “I will talk with your friends for a moment. Ain't going anywhere, mi flaquito. Not without you”.

“I love you, mama. I really do”.

“I love you too, Creep'”. Smirking at your boyfriend, you kiss him again having a little more of caring to not hurt him. “Sleep, flaquito”.

Placing the medical kit over a desk, you leave him closing the door, killing with your eyes the men in front of you.

“I'm hungry, so you better find me some dinner”.

“First, tell us who you are, because he's high enough to confuse himself and believe that he's the fucking Messiah”.

“I'm his girlfriend, pendejo. And you're gonna be a dead man if you don't bring me my fucking dinner”.

El Presidente chuckles rubbing his chin, before nodding, seeing you disappear through the opened door again. Coming back to the bed, you can notice that your boyfriend isn't crying anymore, smiling like an idiot. Sighing you lie down by his side, wrapping his body with both arms, letting him find a comfortable posture under them. You can feel his lips kissing your right forearm somewhat sleepy, purring like a cat. Definitely, he's too high.

“Mami, I love you…” He whispers when you begin to caress his neck with your fingertips. “You are the love of my life…”

“Yeah, you already said it… like a lot of times”. You laugh softly, turning towards you with a soft grimace of pain on his face.

“Love you it's my favorite thing”. He mumbles stunned because of the smile on your lips.

“Mine too, babe. I love you more than anything”.

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