#this has been in m y drafts too long im finally posting it

[jazzmckay]

ive been in such a Blue Team mood lately so

blue team au where everyone is alive and happy, none of this dying/rotating cast of assholes deal. its one big poly mess

church is dating tucker, wash, and tex. tucker and wash are also together ofc. caboose is everyones bff and theyll all protect him to the death (but no one dies bc this is a NICE au). kai is dating tucker, wash, and tex. i used to prefer the idea of carolina being red team but lately shes been feeling more blue team and really it doesnt matter which team shes on, shes gonna have a platonic bond with church, wash, and tex (after a lot... of mending...) and maybe tucker too. 

some headcanons

tucker and wash are the sappiest gooiest members of the team and when the two of them are being particularly mushy with each other they are told to get a room 500 times at least

tex and carolina learn to be friends, damnit

kai, carolina, and tucker sing loudly together a lot and sometimes its endearing but often its annoying. kai tries to initiate karaoke every so often but there are never any other takers

when church is upset, caboose, tucker, and wash take it very seriously and are the most gentle and caring partners/friends and team up to help church feel better. after, the triad spends some time together all three of them instead of randomly pairing off like usual

when wash is upset, everyone takes turns being there for him. tucker is first and carolina is last. wash and carolina take awhile getting to the point of being able to level with each other emotionally, but once they do, they both feel much better for it

when tex is upset, she takes off on her own for a bit but she always comes back

church and tex’s fighting and flirting are sometimes so indistinguishable that the rest of the group isnt sure whats going on with them. they just know that either way, they should probably leave the room

church and wash power nap together. for once, the rest of the team tries to be quiet so as to not wake them up

one time, tex and kai got frisky while tucker was around. cue the scene from b99. tucker: why are you letting me see this? tex: because no one will ever believe you

church did not believe tucker

carolina did believe him, but told tucker to never ever tell her something this explicit about tex’s sex life again. having to witness tex and church flirt is already terrible enough

tex and wash barely know what to make of each other, at first. they werent close during the project but they do have at least 2 romantic partners in common now so they have an unspoken agreement of sorts. theyre cool with each other in theory, it just takes forever for them to actually interact, somehow. what breaks the ice in the end is wash tells a bad joke/makes a bad pun that makes everyone groan or throw things at him EXCEPT for tex who cannot stop laughing

prank wars happen, a lot. carolina was the worst at coming up with decent pranks at first (she’d flit between the extremes of something barely noticeable to something too intense) but eventually she hones the craft so well shes the top of the prank leader board

eventually, tex stops leaving

kai, tex, and carolina spend a lot of time with sheila. turns out chicks CAN be picked up with tanks. caboose is the only dude who ever gets invited to these hangouts, but only sometimes

kai does piercings and tucker does tattoos. everyone on blue team ends up looking really fucking cool

when red team shows up to start some shit, because sarge still insists that red team make a play for the blue flag once in awhile, they draw straws to see who has to deal with it. wash is always the one who so graciously offers to organise it and it takes the rest of the team embarrassingly long to realise this means hes gaming the system and is never one of the people who have to draw the short straws. after this revelation, church ceremoniously appoints wash to the position of Official Blue Team Negotiator so he has the pleasure of automatically being in the “deal with red team” group every single time

speaking of team positions, they still have the hierarchy chart that dates all the way back to captain flowers but its an absolute mess now that the team has tripled in size and people keep ending up with silly/made up titles

when junior is home from school for the summer, he is spoiled like crazy. he has like 3 aunts and 50 uncles. its an endless party

caboose crafts a sniper rifle out of some extra parts they have around base and gives it to tucker. the scope is backwards (caboose insists that the zoom blocks too much out, why wouldnt you want to see MORE?) but hey, tuckers more of a close quarters combatant anyway and he appreciates the gesture

red team ends up hanging around a lot (grif wants to see his sister, donut likes to hang out with caboose etc) and blue team ends up hanging around red base a lot too. honestly what is even the point of separate bases anymore. but thats a whole other post

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #rvb #blue team #this has been in m y drafts too long im finally posting it

[former-mudscamps]

((Hey so like back in the beginning of February, I went through my posts in chrono-mode and just had a good ol’ time, but I also wrote down my reactions and saved it as a draft because??? reasons. Everything below is the og post!

Live notes from my throwback thursday-but-actually-its-wednesday:

-oh god the old art

-I used to characterize Willow WAaYYY differently holy shit; she started off with actual confidence?? wtf

-and remember when the tone was actually in line with AT

-do appreciate that little me was droppin' hints about Willow's past from day 1

-how old are Willow and the kids?? we just don't know; we've n e v e r known

-younger me thought she was hilarious. she was right.

-apparently Willow had an evil mudscamp twin

-remember when this blog was about mudscamps?

-she keeps saying "heck" instead of "fuck" jhgffghjk

-remember when I had to share a desktop with 8 family members and sneak on to post things in the middle of the night?

-Willow almost drowned once

-Queenie is just...absolute queen in every way, i'd d i e for her

-DEAR FUCKING GOD THE BUFFSCAMP

-Owl Wizard has always been so good... She's so important and I love and miss her more than words express;;

-The transformation scene... OW mun redrew that at some point and it was so lovely!!!!

-Willow for sure got like, d rast i ca ll y more anxious and timid once she was turned into a human. Maybe that actually kinda makes sense narratively? she had reason to be unafraid before people started paying attention. she also felt extremely uncomfortable in a human body at that point

-god i love king "i think im going to cause problems on purpose" frozen

-totally wack that at the start of this blog, Willow was completely illiterate and had 0 first hand experience with any technology more advanced than a windmill

-RAPH.... ABSOLUTE DARLING

-so many of these posts are just comedy go l d out of context

-apparently anons were threatening to sacrifice her to cthulhu for a while?????

-old willow was savage as hell sometimes goddamn

-she deadass, physically threw Sammy and Lily's birth mom away.....we love an icon

-the first comic I ever made for this blog is sweet as hell; i insulted the art in the og tags and just...you're gonna come a long way, kiddo

-Perb steppin the hell up to defend the fam against Eden?? sick as hell!!!!

-Eden has not changed one fucking bit

-Finn ALSO steppin the hell up!!! and the thread where Willow actually gets to meet him is so sweeeeet!!!

-do y'all remember puppy princess?? precious x1000000, absolute angel, im cryin over her

-TEENAGER WILLOW M!A WAS A THING AND SHE CUTE

-Willow actively trying to get someone to curse her is just so fuckin funny to me

-Saharah is here!!!! She is and always has been so pretty too godDAmN

-Raph babysitting the kids....kill me now before i go into cardiac arrest

-anon asks sammy what he wants to be when he grows up...."uh, a mudscamp...?" ICONIC

-willow stood the hell up to magdolin once holy shit??? famous last words but also u go girl

-willow FINALLY starts saying fuck

-fun fact: I didn't come up with Puppet Wizard until WAY later in the blog. She was a pretty late addition, which is funny considering how integral to the story she became

-SHEY

-I ALwaYS FORGET THEY MET CAUSE SHEY TRIED TO ROB WILLOW

-Skeletor is here for some reason??? and I am fucking ELATED

-just....this ask.... "Anonymous asked: My favourite thing to do is to watch best friends punch each other to death over me. I like that. Keeps my swag swag levels up. What's your hobby?"

-this was an awkward time for my art style....art puberty

-people keep leaving willow notes and forgetting that she can't read

-anon: "Sammy, how do you see your mom?" sammy: "With...my eyes??"

-willow has so many kickass moments in these old posts what the fuuuuuuck

-I think the mudscamp-by-day, human-by-night days were my favorite!!

-anons once gifted mudscamp!willow a jacuzzi

-i think this is about the time Willow started getting more timid, and again, it does somehow feel like a natural development. her lack of powers keeps coming up and situations start becoming a lot more dire, and interestingly enough, she starts getting real submissive around people she l i k e s. The fawning kinda behavior is definitely a result of abuse.

-WILLOW GETS A DRAMATIC CLOAK FOR WANDERING THE MOORS AT NIGHT AWWW YEAH

-Willow hasn't known what year it is for at least three years

-OW mun once spammed willow with puns and it was AMAZING

-one time lily dressed up as a ghost for halloween...just a lil sheet over her lil mudscamp self...PRECIOUS

-this post

#((i think i made this months ago and was just too shy to post it but y'know what #fuck it have some of my self-indulgent nostalgic thoughts #out of the mud #mudscamp queue #desperately trying to scrounge up content for y'all jhgdghjk

[werewolferr]

game changer (pt 2) | stefan butler

* gif from @billvrusso *

pairing: stefan butler x reader

plot: after months of strain and hard work, Stefan finally takes the completed Bandersnatch to Tuckersoft. when he gets there he finds that he still has a lot of work to do. luckily he has the best partner

word count: 1.9k

warnings: nothing really, i think there’s a few swear words in there

a/n: first off im so sorry for how long it took me to write this second part, like it’s actually ridiculous. i’m so bad at being punctual. also thank you for all the positive feedback on the first part, it’s means sm. hope this is good and you enjoy, thank u x

“Are you sure you don’t need any help with that?” Stefan said as he trailed behind you as the two of you made your way to your messy desk.

“No, I’m fine” You say struggling to keep everything in your arms.

As you place your work down onto your desk, you turn around to Stefan standing very close to you, you bump into his tall body slightly.

“Oh, I’m sorry” You both mumble in sync, Stefan stepping back slighty. You notice his cheeks turning pink slightly, you giggle at him lightly.

“Grab that seat by there” You say pointing to the chair in the corner of your work space “And bring it be here” You say sitting down in your office chair, boncing your feet on the floor.

You watch as Stefan grabs the chair lifting off the floor and dropping next to you. As he sat down he took his bag off placing it on the floor in between you two.

You noted how nervous and awkward he looked, he kept fumbling with his fingers or the hem of his blue sweatshirt.

“So..” You said looking Stefan “I’ve come up with some initial idea from what Thakur told me about the game. Have a look through them see if there’s anything you like” You say scrambling some of your best ideas, none of them finished, and passed them to Stefan.

You watched as he looked through the designs you’d given him. Grazing his fingers lightly over the art.

The silence made you slightly nervous, “If you don’t like any of them just say. I mean they aren’t my best” You smile.

“No, no. These are really cool” Stefan said smiling, while he continued to look through them.

“Thanks” You say with a little blush. “Is there anything in particular you’d like to see in the designs, because it is you game and I want to incorporate your vision into the design as much as I can” You continue, slowly swinging in your chair.

“I don’t know really” He replied, shrugging his shoulders

“I never really thought about how the design would look. I was too concentrated on making sure the game worked” He laughed slightly

“Yeah I understand” You smile “Maybe we can figure it out now?”

Stefan nodded his head.

“Would you like it to look like the book design, or... something new and modern?” You asked, while grabbing a fresh piece of paper and a blue pen. Scribbling ‘Bandersnatch Ideas - Stefan” at the top.

“Umm...” Stefan thought, scratching his neck slightly. “I think I’d like to incorporate some of the book. But with some modern elements so it doesn’t look completely the same”

“Ok, ok” You reply, scribbling it down quickly on the paper.

“And if it’s ok. Could it have some of the design I had in the load screen of the game”

“Of course...” You say, your mind already trailing off. Little ideas popping in your mind, here and there, you pull them together slightly.

You ran your hands through your hair, taping your pen on the table lightly. Tap - tap, tap - tap. From your right peripheral vision you can feel Stefan looking at you. His eyes moving up and down you.

He leant on your desk, fidgeting with his fingers. Stefan opened his mouth as if to say something, closing again almost instantly. Clearly not sure of whether to snap you at your thoughts or not. Causing you to smile at his general awkwardness

“Was there anything on these designs you liked?” You say, snapping your head in Stefan’s direction.

Stefan shifted in his seat again, before picking up one of the designs. “I like this one” Stefan said, passing paper to you and moving in his seat. Closer to you.

You picked up the design he gave you, it was a picture of a blue maze in the middle of the paper and with white text saying Bandersnatch near the top with each letter alternating up and then down. With a blue and pink gradient shadow behind it. You had also scribbled notes about having a black background and possibly a border around the edge. And at the bottom it read - “Can you escape the maze?”

Honestly you didn’t like it that much. I mean, you preferred it to some of the other drafts you’d made but it was nowhere near good

“I really liked the text. The way it moves up and down, and the colourful shadow behind it. I thought it looked really cool” He smiled, while pointing at the text.

“Thanks” You laugh “Is there anything you don’t like or would like to change” You said as you pulled a post-it note and pen towards you, ready to take notes.

“Urm, well. I liked the idea of having a maze in the design, but I'm not sure if i want it in the centre of the work.” He said.

“Ok, ok” You answer as you write it down. “Anything else?” You smile giving Stefan a small smile. Which he returned.

The two of you continued to work on the cover of the game for the rest of the day. Making notes, coming up with more drafts, trying new things. Mixed in with coffee and Stefan’s nervousness while talking to you, stumbling and blushing.

The two of you ended up being the last people to leave the office other than Mr Thakur. He practically threw the two of you out.

“Come on guys, I need you to leave so I can lock up and get home” Mr Thakur complained.

“Ok, ok. We’ll head off now” You say looking at Stefan for a spilt second, flashing him a smile while you start to pack up your things into your backpack.

“Yeah well you’ve been saying that for the past 2 hours, so you better actually leave this time” Mr Thakur fires back at you.

“My bags packed and my coats on. So is Stefan” You continue walking towards Mr Thakur “We. Are. Leaving” You say patting him on the shoulder, with Stefan trailing behind you.

“See you soon” You throw back to him as you and Stefan head towards the door.

“See you Y/N, and Stefan”

You push the down button on the lift door and wait as the creaking sound of old, unsteady lift made it’s way up through the many floors.

“Sorry we didn’t get to properly decide on any game covers, or particularly anything. But I’m glad we did get a few ideas down, I mean I didn’t really know much about the game from the brief Thakur gave me” You say still looking dead ahead at the lift.

You turn to see Stefan looking at you, quickly he averts to floor

“Don’t worry about it Y/N. I think I prefer it this way, so he can work on it together and thanks for agreeing to work on the design with me” He says finally looking up at you again.

“I mean there was no way I was going to say no. This is the first multi-choice game, where you don’t have to type in instructions” You say, almost shouting. And honestly you were excited about this game, not only for designing the art and marketing, which working on could massively boost your career. But as a game fan you were beyond excited to play it, it was just revolutionary. And you were about to be apart of it, even if it was a small portion.

The lift doors opened with a bing, followed but the sound rusting metal sliding against each other, Stefan moved aside to let you move in first and he followed behind as you pressed the button the ground floor.

“It’s going to be amazing Stefan. People are going to love it” You whisper shout.

You watch as a smile creeps up on his face, closely followed but a blush appearing on his cheeks.

“Thank you” He says in a whisper.

Another bonus of working on Bandersnatch was Stefan. He seemed so nice and well, he was cute. His long slightly curly black hair and his small smile, his slight awkwardness and fidgeting was endearing. But you were determined for Stefan to feel more comfortable and relaxed with you by the end of this project, to say you were puzzled by his nervousness was an understatement.

“What time are you here tomorrow?” Stefan asked you as he began to pull out his headphones and Walkman “I can come in and... m-maybe we can work on it together”

He says, his soft brown eyes looking down at you

“I’m not here tomorrow sorry. I don’t actually work at Tuckersoft full time cause I’m still in 6th form and I have classes tomorrow” You reply, slightly disappointed you won’t be able to work with Stefan tomorrow.

“Oh- that’s ok don’t worry about it” Stefan said, the same disappointment mirrored in his voice and eyes

You bit on your lip feeling slightly guilty, “Maybe, after I’ve finished my classes we can work on it at my house” You found yourself saying, as you weren’t usually this forward “Or... yours” You add.

“Where by is your 6th form?”

“In the middle of town near the leisure centre and Dartmouth lane”

“St Andrews College?” Stefan asked

“Yeah that’s the one” You smile, the lift bouncing slightly as it reached the ground floor, followed by a bing.

“That’s not to far away from my house. You could come to mine since it’s not to far away” Stefan began as the two of you walked out the lift.

“You sure you don’t mind?” You say back to Stefan as you began to fish you keys out your backpack.

“It’s no problem honestly. And that way we don’t have to wait for the days you’re working” Stefan continued

“Ok” You smile at Stefan as the two of you walk out the stained glass doors of Tuckersoft “I should be done by three thirty and I’ll make my way to yours”

“Yeah that sounds good”

You fish out a pen from your jacket pocket, “Here..” You say as you take Stefan’s hand and begin to write on it “Is my phone number. If there’s a change of plan and you can’t do it, ring me before nine twenty” You feel Stefan looking down at the top if your head as you write down the number of his sweaty hands.

“Any later than that, I won’t be able to answer ‘cause I’ll be in college” You finish writing your number down but still Stefan left his hand on top of yours, his finger tips grazing your palms. As the two of you hand on the damp curb.

You pass your pen “Can I have yours?” You say to Stefan looking up at him.

“M-My... what?” He says confused.

“Your address” You laugh “Y’know so I can go there tomorrow” You smile.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Sorry” He smiles as he takes the pen from your hand and writes it down on your other hand.

You watch him as he writes on your hand, his eyes concentrating and each movement of the pen. You smiled at him as you notice his tongue poking slightly out of the right corner if his mouth.

“Here” He says as he passed you back your pen.

“Thank you” You say placing back in your pocket “I’ll see you tomorrow at quarter to four” You say, beginning to walk in the direction of your car.

“Bye” Stefan says, waving at you and walking in the opposite direction.

As you walked away you smiled to yourself. You were looking forward to working with Stefan on this project, he was really sweet and caring. And not a axe wielding murderer like the author of Bandersnatch.

#stefan butler #stefan butler x reader #stefan butler imagine #fionn whitehead #bandersnatch #black mirror #black mirror bandersnatch #will poulter

[dcarhcarts]

regarding recent absences

And other such updates!

If you want the tl;dr, here it is: my mental health isn’t in the greatest place right now, and I figured I ought to explain why I must ask you for continued patience for the snail speed on this blog. I’m not announcing official hiatus, but just know that I...might continue to be pretty scarce, but I’m trying my best to be here and to be writing here. To hopefully get me more active here, I plan on dropping a few threads and cleaning out my dash re: people who follow me but aren’t writing with me. You’re more than welcome to keep following me if I unfollow you, and if you want to write with me and just haven’t gotten the chance and would like me to re-follow you, pls just go ahead and shoot me an im. I will be making a separate post about both those things, it’s just that I can’t deal with how fast my dash is moving at the moment.

If you care for the long version, under the cut so as to not bother everyone else!!! Be warned that it’s uh...it’s l o n g. TW for depression and anxiety and the general things my brain does to me lolol. 

Wow I haven’t used the post title function in a l o n g time. Anyway, hi, it’s me, Ro, your friendly neighborhood mun of a 20+ muse mumu. Don’t let the kind-of-serious format scare you - nothing bad is happening. I just have a few things that I felt the need to address that have been happening either in my life or just in my screwed up brain :D Buckle in and get ready for the ride, I guess?

Starting with something y’all already know about - I’ve not been here a lot recently. I joke about that a lot, but really, if you catch the pattern, my activity here is: exclusively after 10 pm, 2 drafts at most a day, inbox straight up clogged from like a month ago. IMS basically desolate, because I haven’t worked up the courage to pick them back up since I last forgot about them in the endless stream of things I had to do about a month ago! (that being said, uh, if you want to talk to me your best bet is probably through discord. Ro#6782 - pls, mutuals only, and tell me who you are!)  

And - because I h a t e being that mun that reblogs memes and asks for for them and then never answers their askbox / puts out starter calls when she has 10000 drafts / puts out plotting calls when she has unanswered ims, (no problem at all when other people do this but somehow when it’s m e I’m like “no you’re a terrible person”???? hmmm), I’ve also been avoiding t h o s e. If you’re new and you followed me in the last month, I’ve been putting out n o t h i n g that indicates a willingness to interact with new/more people, while the opposite is true. I’m always willing to interact - if I follow back, I want to write with you, only, well, aforementioned issue aside, I also have m o r e problems.

Namely, IRL and the fucked up thing called my brain. 

As most of you know, I got a job ~end of may or early juuuune~ and....well it’s pretty damn time consuming. I can’t have my phone during the course of my job - by the way, 4 hours - and so in those 4 hours (from 4 pm to 8 pm) I can basically get nothing done here. Then there’s also the fact that the time my shift is placed mentally and physically drains me a lot. Because it starts at 4, most of my morning is spent thinking “god I don’t wanna go to work” and because it ends at 8, most of my evening is spent trying very hard not to doze off. It also drains me a lot socially - I work at a call center, and all day I’m basically calling people who don’t want me to call them and are very irate even when they pick up, and uh, that already doesn’t do well for my anxiety haha. 

The other thing, of course - is my sort-of-seasonal depression. Winter tends to equate to anxiety for me, and summer tends to equate to depression. Again, I think I’ve joked about this a lot, but I apparently can only do drafts when I have 3 finals tomorrow and I haven’t studied for any of them. When it’s break, I get into a really weird slump - when i wake up in the morning, I don’t really want to wake up, and sometimes just stare at the wall for like, an hour. Nothing that I enjoyed during the other months, I seem to enjoy doing now. There’s too much time and too little time. It’s like i spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing meaningful but I can’t break myself out of the cycle so I keep doing that, rinse and repeat day after day, and sometimes my definition of spending time is just lying down in bed again and doing nothing for an hour randomly in the middle of the day. I feel guilty for wasting time as much as I am clueless as to how to fill it in a fulfilling way. “But Ro, you could do drafts!” A Concerned Person May Say. “You like writing!” Well, Kind Person, on some of these days, absolutely n o t h i n g Sparks Joy. 

“But Ro, I follow you on your other blog too!” The Concerned Person might continue.“You’re kind of active there, aren’t you?” And the answer, Kind Person who supported my career even if that blog is mostly obscure af fandoms - is yes.  I am kind of active on my other blog, @storyblcd. This brings us to the third and final reason why I’m.....moving at snail’s speed here, and that, my good friend - is anxiety. Well, mixed with a certain amount of mental exhaustion, of course. Note: this is n o t anyone’s fault. People’s interactions with me have not been negative - and they are not responsible for how my brain chooses to reaact to it. 

I’ve not lost muse for the muses on this blog, per se - but I’m getting burned out really fast writing them, for multiple reasons. First, muse imbalance. Now I know, I definitely k n o w - that sometimes people like one muse more than another, or have more interest in writing with one or the other, and I get that. I’ve said multiple multiple times that that is p e r f e c t l y fine. But honestly the reason I’ve lasted so long on a multimuse is because I can pick which muse I have muse for when, and I can respond accordingly / ask for interactions accordingly. But when I get so many people coming at me at once for the o n e muse when I have t w e n t y it sometimes gets a little? Discouraging? It makes me question whether or not only that one muse is popular for a reason. It also exhausts me re: the portrayal of that muse, because I”m putting out so many replies for that muse in a lot of sort of similar plots/scenarios that I just get burnt right out. And then I get scared that if I keep going I’ll want to drop the muse, so I’m staying away from those threads a little bit.

Second, I’m at a point in my portrayal of certain muses where I feel like there’s a certain expectation for how it’s going to be. My personal feelings aside, I think every mun expects their own portrayal to be different and unique and exciting - and it’s not different for me, only now I feel like the expectation and the pressure of coming up with something good and meaningful outweighs the feeling of exploration as I’m “discovering” the muse. Like most writers - I still crave validation, though more and more lately, I’m at a place in my writing where I f e e l like me from 2 months ago could have probably done a better job. While it’s not necessarily true, and these pressures are coming from m e and not any outside source, I f e e l like I have to consistently Make Good Writing, and simultaneously feel like some days I sit down and I try to do drafts and all I write is garbage. It just - doesn’t feel the same? So - more and more, I’m staring at the empty drafts page and then closing it - because if I don’t w r i t e I don’t have to admit I peaked two months ago.  

Both of these reasons have made me rather a bit avoidant of my muses here / this blog. Now, I’ve been struggling with anxiety for long enough that I know that a lot of this is - well, p r o b a b l y just my brain lying to me. See even as I’m writing this post now, my anxiety is saying “haha guess what n o one cares you’ve been gone” and my rational Anxiety-is-a-stupid-asshole voice is saying “nahhhhhh your brain is probably just lying to you.” But! In the battle, anxiety is kind of pummeling me now. I will r i s e again and win the war, most likely - but for now it’s anxiety: 1 and ro: 0.

AND finally - if you made it all the way down here, you’re a c h a m p. The solution! Well, as much of a solution as I’m hoping to get anyway - we’ll have to see if it implements well. I’m going to unfollow a few blogs so I can get my dash cleaner/more organized/less fast-moving and b r e a t h e. I’m going to drop a couple of threads, I might make a couple more muses request only/exclusive only for the like 2 people that have threads with them, I might drop a couple muses (though I don’t think this will really happen, Idk tho). There will be separate posts on those things coming soon, this is just to notify y’all. Thank you for all of your patience, thank you for all the wonderful people who’ve allowed me to write with you, I love all of you!!!!

#tw anxiety #tw depression #tw long post #( ooc ) ✵ ~ CHANDELIERS AND CAVIAR ~ /

[evenshadowshavestories]

Found this in my drafts, wondered why I hadn’t posted it, and then realized that the formatting had all gotten messed up (instead of bolding words, it said “<b>” for everything, and there were no actual line breaks).  So I fixed that, and finally bring you a post I was tagged in over a year ago.  And why not, threw in some current answers as well.

Current answers added [like this]

My ABC’S

Thanks for tagging me, @gorgeous-freak-of-nature! 

A -age: 19 [20] 

B - biggest fear: by biggest reaction, hypodermic needles, but emotionally, of having done something wrong and hurting someone, or being hated by people I love. [still about right]

C - current time: 4:32 [6:45]

D - drink you last had: water [same]

E - easiest person to talk to: Depends on the subject, I talk to my mom about life, but the person I've shared my deepest worries and struggles with is my best (guy) friend. [this is about the same, I think. except I’ve got a therapist now. She’s good to talk to about this stuff too]

F - favorite song: it changes every so often, the song I've listened to the most consistently for the last bit has been "Lonely Lullaby" by Owl City, although I've also been listening to "Arms" by Christina Perri lately. [Lonely Lullaby is by far the song I’ve listened to the most frequently and the most total number of plays, lately I’ve also been loving “Sailboats” by Owl City.]

G - grossest memory: I don't tend to be grossed out by stuff, although my brain has a weird reaction to certain topics, one time my science teacher was telling a funny/gross story about how he got a cyst or something removed from his shoulder, and I was enjoying the story but my brain freaked out or something and I got lightheaded and had to leave the room and get a drink and take some time to recover. Which was annoying. [I’d forgotten about this until reading it.  I’m not going to try topping it.]

H - horror (yes/no): I have an intrigue into most things, but I don't go out of my way for a scare or anything. [basically I like Night Vale and The Twilight Zone and Ray Bradbury.] 

 I - in love with: My best friend, who I get to see tomorrow (and then not again for two years... :/ ) [wow has time passed.  He comes home in only 8 months!]

J - jealous of: people who actually know what they're doing with their life [this is still relatively true.  I don’t really feel jealousy though.]

K - killed anyone: no humans, but a fair share of ants, flies, and spiders (although I usually take the spiders outside instead)  [add a couple of bugs to the list but yeah, not really different.]

L - love at first sight or should I walk by again?: um, I haven't experienced this before, especially since I judge more on personality/character than physical appearance. [no change there]

M - middle name:  debating whether to put it on here.

N - number of siblings: 6 [do in-laws count as siblings?  if so, I now have 8 siblings. otherwise, it’s still 6]

O - one wish: for things to work out the way I want them to  [who doesn’t have this wish, now that I think on it?]

 P - person you last called: my mom [my boss]

Q - questions you’ve always asked: Why? (That is, most questions I wonder about are "why this, why that") also How comes up a lot. A question I've wondered about for a while, the longest time I recall wondering something, has to do with my aforementioned reaction to certain topics. I'm interested in how the body works, etc, but it's like my brain thinks too hard and weirds itself out and says "okay, you know what, if you don't leave the conversation now then you're going to need to lie down for a while". So "why does this always happen? And why is it more often triggered by audio than visual?" [still wondering the answer to that question, but I’m less obsessed with it now. ]

R - reasons to smile: I get to see my best friend tomorrow, things are good at home, life feels alright, I have family I'm friends with. [I have a good job, I get to see family often, I’m doing well in school, I have a cute haircut]

 S - song you last sang: Don't think I've sung anything today (although I've listened to plenty), but last night I sang "put your shoulder to the wheel" (LDS hymn) [hmm, maybe something on the radio? otherwise either a hymn or a song from Moana.]

T - time you woke up: around 6:30 but then I fell asleep again until close to 10:00 [7:30]

U - underwear color: [why?]

V - vacation destination: somewhere peaceful. Or possibly a library, I'm not much of an adventurer except in my mind. [heh, still me.]

W - worst habit: procrastination probably [yeah, still procrastination]

X - x-rays you’ve had: my right arm I think, and also the ones they do for your teeth at the dentist [and that’s all I can think of now, too.]

Y - your favorite food: Pizza, tacos, potatoes, pasta... Just depends on what I'm craving. [I guess I’ll add Orange Chicken to this list, since it wasn’t already there...]

Z - zodiac sign: Virgo [And we’re done here!]

[thanks for reading, sorry it’s taken so long to get this out there!] 

Now I know my ABC’s, next time won’t you post with me…. @icebats-universe @im-a-silhou-ette @vanillafrostedraindrops [what! where did you go?I took so long to post that you’ve deactivated? what did I miss? where did you go? man I need to post these sooner...] @musicanddancingthroughlife

#tagged #abctag #evenshadowshavestories #shoutout to vanillafrostedraindrops #whereever you are now #because apparently I missed that you're gone or at least changed your name #so if we're still mutuals I totally missed it #love to hear from you though #you are cool #as is everyone else I tagged #anyway #I'll stop now