#this is not me being self-deprecating ftr | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whalohs · 5 years

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i’ve put the entire conversation off for long enough. we’re going to talk about nott, her humor, and episode 50. i’ve seen a lot of really good posts the last few weeks that put it in ways i never could!! but this episode was a little new in terms of what sam did at the table, and i want to yell somewhere. so here we go. warning for length.

as always, my ask box & messages are wide open if you wanna talk about nonsense.

preface: a theory i like to subscribe to is something laura bailey taught me: no one can really be ‘out of character’ in fiction -- no person can always act according to expectations, so who’s to say that characters should? half the fun of fiction, especially in d&d, is exploring character traits and plots that you don’t normally see in reality. and if your character can be a little more human while doing so, then that makes your story that much better!

( what’s important is providing justification for why they acted the way they did; things start getting muddy when you do whatever you want without being able to explain yourself after word, imo!! )

“j weren’t you going to talk about nott” look this was important

so, here are some ways nott was hilarious this ep:

@ fjord: “... but my husband. we spent 3 months searching for your backstory”

@ caleb: “shut up” / “fuck you” / [ jokingly ] “your people did this”

@ spurt: “YES, MOMMY”

i’m still not sure if this episode was real, i’m forgetting half of it.

but while sam’s good at making light of heavy, tense situations with some really pointed humor that still manages to get us to laugh ( which i think helped all the jokes land ), nott’s humor is different.

her humor plays up how much of a goblin she is, how strange she is, how much she likes stealing or doesn’t like water or how “out of touch” she is with society in exandria ( eating babies, her relationship advice, etc ). these are quintessential nott the brave humor material, and while it’s still funny because there’s a new twist on it each episode, there’s definitely a pattern to it.

this isn’t to say that she lies back and takes every insult hurled at her, but how she tends to joke about herself, ftr!

also note how self-deprecating her humor is. i didn’t really notice until i started throwing this post together, but oh boy.

and then, episode 50 happened. take a second to read my list of nott jokes this episode, then come back.

her jokes were still made her at her expense / their current situation. but ( starting with “your people did this” to caleb ) this episode her jokes... stopped blaming herself? she started calling people out in ways that weren’t insulting, but were still much more bold than nott normally is.

like she made a mother joke literally after telling the entire party that she had a son.

i don’t know about you but i was absolutely appalled and losing it when she used “your people did this” on caleb again, or when she pretty much called fjord out the moment he jokingly asked to turn back. like holy shit nott?! you’re fuckin savage?!

she really lightened what could have been a tense mood instead of actively worrying about yeza ( having jester send a message every night probably helped! ). but her humor wasn’t about how much of a goblin she was, but instead it started pointing at the people in her party.

like, guys, she told caleb to shut up. she thinks caleb is the leader. but she told him to shut his mouth!!!

i love it, i love this.

was sam suddenly shitposting a lot more often? i mean, sure that could be it, but again i subscribe to the theory that being “out of character” isn’t... really a thing. the beauty of d&d is that everyone has to be constantly “on”, all the time! and while no one can do that perfectly for 4-5 hours straight every week without a script, i do love linking those grey areas back to big character moments.

so why did she do this?

i don’t think this is a sudden boost in nott’s confidence. it’s no secret she’s particularly happy with who she is now. she hasn’t suddenly accepted her goblin body over the course of 3 episodes.

so, what is it?

think about how much nott has had to tell the party. in tal’s words - the riegel shoe has dropped. the biggest part of nott’s backstory has been revealed to us, and nott doesn’t have much left to hide anymore. this is it. this is her big secret, the reason she needs caleb, why she hates goblins.

this isn’t to say everything is out there, because that’s something only sam and matt would know! but i do think her big picture is out there.

and with so little left to lose around the mighty nein, she almost has ... no choice but to get comfortable? she’s stuck with these people, who know why she’s a goblin, in a tunnel that goes straight into “enemy territory” in a couple of weeks. to rescue her husband. they’ve made it extremely clear they’re not leaving her despite all that’s on the line.

i don’t know if i’d go as far as to say this is nott’s “real” humor? but i do think it is a result of her becoming more comfortable with everyone else.

good old physical proximity coupled with some serious heart-to-heart, y’all.

for the record, i think there’s a difference between caring for the people around you ( which nott is good at ) and being comfortable around them ( which nott really started leaning into this episode ). it’s like how the closer you get with someone, the more you can push your boundaries on humor.

tl;dr what i’m trying to say is if nott wasn’t ride or die before, she’s definitely ride or die now. she trusts these people with the biggest secret she’s carried with her, and she really would want no one else to rescue her husband with her. she’s more comfortable with the mighty nein than she ever has been, and i’m so happy!!!

am i reading way too much into stupid jokes, i sure fuckin am.

#critical role #nott the brave #found family?#found family!!!#the mighty nein #meta meta meta #i think this is the biggest reach i've made #but it was fun despite it being absolutely ridiculous #but also im very tired and idk if this post makes sense #it may not make sense #someone yell at me if it doesn't make sense #i'm going to bed

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tyrannuspitch · 3 years

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oh god okay. nine days and (somehow) over 22000 words of notes later i have completed my ~10th read of carry on: the rise and fall of simon snow. it is done.

here are some highlights from my notes on the epilogue:

i really like how it becomes very clear at this point that baz’s prickliness is a cover. and that he really isn’t sure how else to express himself. (or how to express himself at all. bc this is a coping mechanism mainly built for hiding things.) he keeps trying to be kind to simon, and it is kind of coming through, but not completely. once you take him out of the villain role you realise quickly that he can also be pretty awkward and tactless. (listen to me he’s autistic okay trust me i’m not making it up i have evidence LISTEN-)

i also like how baz is now using names to show affection, rather than distance. like, calling simon ”snow” has just become his thing. it’s part of them, of their bond. but it also means that when he calls simon “simon”, that makes it special. and he’s reclaiming the label “chosen one”.

i also like that baz, at the very end, is teasing simon through compliments and self-deprecation - and like honestly? i think this is improvement just since an earlier part of the epilogue. at the ball he was still teasing by being mean. i think he knows better by now. and that’s so important!!! they haven’t stagnated, they are still making progress before our very eyes!!!

(and i don’t think it’s even unhealthy self-deprecation on baz’s part. he makes vampire jokes but they’re relatively harmless - less violent than they used to be. sometimes even romanticising. but mostly just checking that he can mention it and it’s still fine. happy for him <3)

also always love the fact that they decided not to move in together. love to see them set healthy boundaries.

simon... it’s not clear what simon is up to. he mentions ecology, then says “basic courses” without mention a degree, so i choose to believe that he is indeed considering ecology as an option. he should. he’d like it.

If Magic Returns To The Dead Spots There’s No Reason For It NOT To Return To Simon I Will Die On This Hill

simon’s relationship to his orientation is not quite as clearly set in one narrative as people say it is. and the narrative i mean is the “not using labels” narrative. he doesn’t SAY he’s given up on labels. he in fact says that he now pretty much considers himself gay. he just doesn’t feel like the puzzle is entirely solved or needs to be any time soon. i don’t think, based on this, that it’s erasing anything to write him eventually choosing a label. (also if you think him being bi is “more like” being unlabelled than being gay then that IS biphobia just ftr :/ bi is a concrete identity too)

simon thought the ball was going to be The End because he’s been traumatised by losing every connection at the end of term for seven years in a row!!! this is the first summer he’ll ever spend with people he loves. and he thought this would be the summer he died. he came to watford because he and baz definitely both need to say a proper goodbye to it and to their nemesishood (and i’m glad he did because baz was doing a “not talking” thing about that), but he thought it might be a goodbye to baz entirely and that’s heartbreaking

but even so... i think he and baz DO make progress in that scene. simon may not entirely believe that he is worth something yet, but i don’t think he can ignore baz refuting his idea of how their relationship works. simon always enjoyed it as a rivalry because that meant he was good enough to compete with baz, to get under his skin. he doesn’t think he can compete now. baz tells him both that he is still worth everything he was before, and that it’s not about being good enough. it’s a messy, imperfect conversation because they both have a long way to go, but it’s still so good

simon wants to visit ebb’s grave one day. he hasn’t yet. which means he wasn’t at her funeral. and neither way penny or agatha. i wonder if baz was... he didn’t know her, but he would respect her in death. and i think he’d want someone to represent simon there? but he might also feel it wasn’t his place. hmm.

simon wants baz to go to therapy!!! still looking out for him. you’ve got a real fight ahead of you though i’m genuinely not sure what it would take :/ i worry he’ll just burn himself out and collapse one day. he never takes any breaks.

oh hang on this isn’t highlights this is a ramble that’s spiralling out of control. hmm. cutting this off now but i’ll be back

#carry on reread september 21 #perhaps i'll review all my notes and try and scrape together something actually coherent #bc i'm sure you could make several actual Essays from all this if you just stuck the right pieces together #but i don't think today is the day for that #besides. i'm reading fangirl next.#i don't think i'll have as much to say abt fangirl sjflksdjlfk because they are only prototypes and they're supporting the main narrative #but it is quite a cosy book so it will be a good rest i think #simon snow #baz pitch

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