#just... reflecting. hmm.

[tyrannuspitch]

just reread some unpublished fanfic i wrote in 2018. hmm i guess i have improved lol

#2018 was when i started writing again #after not doing it at all since i was like 12 #and like. you can tell i was still a bit '???' about like. the bare basics. what to communicate when. #the first few paragraphs are sooo confusing bc i've failed to establish literally anything about character or setting #so i'm rlly just Saying Words lol #i mean i think it was kind of meant to be disorienting? but not to that extent. #this is not me being self-deprecating ftr #no-one knows how to do things when they do them for the first time! #just... reflecting. hmm.

[sparring-spirals]

im still thinking about that moment last episode where they're planning how to approach dancer and we got:

Ashton: "yeah we should go in with a ginger approach, make sure she doesn't run"

Imogen with complete sincerity, immediately: "so should i just go and calm her emotions right away?"

Ashton with zero judgement or concern: "that, or i was going to pin her down, but that's cool too."

and then when FCG naturally panics over why are we attacking dancer they both turn in sync to be like! No!!! not attacking. restraining. 👍 :) like what. you're both. mildly messed up on exactly the same wavelength here. i love them both so much. what do you mean overkill. this IS my ginger approach. I'm Doing The Job By Whatever Means Necessary Why Are You Yelling.

Something something two people who have spent their lives learning to suppress their flinch/doubt reflex when in a crisis. Out of a horrible necessity. Those two Problem Solving together with a casual sort of callousness. and looking at each other like 👍? 👍 meanwhile FCG is in the background going "wait we're talking about attacking her???" "no of COURSE not, just restraining!" god i adore them.

#its the combination of the mildly unhinged suggested action w/ 'ginger approach' + the casual tones + the agreement + fcg horror in bckgd #what a great scene tbh. i enjoyed it so much i MIGHT update their tag to reflect it......... hmm #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e69 #imogen temult #ashton #migraine buddies #(my current tag for them) #but i could do something here......... hmmm...... interrogation rave? #(because this and they both have light powers... i shall think on it) #scene #shitpost #character meta #? #im a fan whenever they interact tbh #chetney probably would have joined in but thats different bc chet gets JOY from this. these two just think theyre problem solving. which. #they are. i suppose. #'NO! restraining :)'

[notllorstel]

Shattered Reflection p1 / next

#the owl house #toh #previous golden guard #golden guard tristan #llorscomic #comic #//me drawing owl comic// I rly should be drawing frog comic #it’s cause of the unfinished series mystery is still in the air inspiration juice #let’s see how quick I can get this comic out #hmm thinkin how should cw for future pages #just when in appears or from the get go? #been awhile #shattered reflection comic

[tunapesto]

ootd...

#oc #art #i like how looked today.. #hmm #Genderisms... #kind of went into a hostile-about-everything-feminine as retaliation phase #then full swing into hyperfemme a bit #then we're back here #idk my gender irdgaf but i think its interesting how ive reexplored femininity through a more queer experience after that retaliation #i wouldnt say my fashion sense reflects this lol my clothes mostly consist of handmedowns from my grandparents #but like. how i feel in general #i would still be hate to be called a woman for Reasons but it resonates yah #This is just my thoughts . Hope this does not cause anything #guy in a girl way thats in a guy way thats in a g

[artaintfartwarriors]

#birchfall #thunderclan #tnp #tpo3 #oots #avos #tbc #asc #still alive Jesus #this guy makes me so. hmm. #just completely unaware of the shit his daughter was going thru in the df despite also training in ot #like idk maybe take one second and reflect on the way your daughter has been brutalized her entire childhood #just saying idk

[cathalbravecog]

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK

#my brain treats these things the same as it does spamton. almost. i want to see them dead i want to chew on them. i want to kiss them gentl #y and tuck them in bed and sign up adoption papers for them. i want to hit them with a baseball bat. i will take a bullet for them #yknow? #you get me. #again an experimental fun quick drawing #that i ended up ... popping off on. oops. #i have... 0 self control in art #fun fact originally this was gonna be a painting but i went hmm what if i do the thing #ive been doing with sketch lineart on paper but... digitally? angular and sketchy and sharper #aw yea #guz art #toontown corporate clash #low baller #also i had to post this on clashcord and bail instantly because the second i see angst for stuff i like that i havent made myself #i lowkey start breaking down oops #i dont do well with other fans of things that im not familiar with.... my brain works in mysterious ways ! #i say this as my next drawing i plan is literally oc angst ... oops ! #something i aint done in a while....i only ever do vent stuff i never post if anything. i try not to be like.... venty edgy like that it #just. aint for me. well i say while i ramble on and vent constantly. oops. but yknow what i mean - not let my art reflect that? be goofy #with the stuff i do? but like yeah either way. lore gettin angsty. have we gotten to the point in our lore / rp yet? no. is it kinda an #inescapeable point? yes. i loooooove making my characters suffer the consequences of their actions #WHY AM I TALKING SO ELABORATELY ABOUT THIS. THIS IS A LOW BALLER DRAWING. #BY TALOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BRAIN!! OH WELL if you like these. thanks for reading you are swag. you probably went thru #like. 5465465341564 thomas 'fights' now havent you #oh well gotta have a place to dump my thoughts somewhere!

[mihai-florescu]

But truly stanning real life idols is so wild to me... they dont even have a narrative purpose, thats just a person...

#saw a thread of 'kpop idols with the most natural personalities' and it made me think...reflect i guess #i like the music i just dont understand the appeal of caring for musicians personalities #i tried to force myself back in my bandom days but i couldnt make myself care enough... #i did have actual parasocial relationships with youtubers but that feels different #will be reflecting on it further as i unwind for the day... #i think the yt thing mightve been related to the fact that i was 13. but i got into the emo trinity then too musically so #theres something else #hmm #i suppose i did watch yt as if they werent quite real but a form of entertainment whereas i saw musicians as artists? #not sure

[thebirdandhersong]

layers of school and family and health issues and future planning and final exam stress aside, do you ever feel like there is a long ongoing scream inside of you that seems to have no end ha haaaa

#the ironic thing i think is that i'm sitting closest to the window rn #and i can see the boy i agonized over for seven months sitting with his girlfriend #very clearly in the reflection because they're sitting behind me :) #and no matter how loudly i play my music i can still hear them laughing together every once in a while! #he told me today that the thing he asked me to edit for him just won him a scholarship and i was like congrats!! #this IS what i've become to you! editor friend who cooks and brings snacks! #and it's like. well you don't NEED me anymore. which is a silly thought because he never did need me in the first place #(and the need to be needed is a bit... hmm.... there's a lot there i do need to examine carefully) #it's not even worth talking about boy no.2 who is kind enough to break anyone's heart lollll and who is definitely definitely #and clearly in every way definitely not interested or available or anything close to it #anyway im not in tears tonight lolll thank God i am mostly okay #but i think i need to take an early night :') clearly i am starting to be emotionally overwrought #it is not AGONY........ it is something quieter i think.

[monstertsunami]

wtf is wrong with ppl trying to manifest a petrigtof breakup. im genuinely mystified. i want them to be toxic together until the end of time some real sunk cost fallacy shit. theyve been devoted to each other for literally thousands of years, YES to a fault, but shes an entire god of chaos now there is like nothing else for her to lose. shes all powerful and her only goal is to protect simon WHY, from a storytelling perspective, would she break up with him now? why would simon break up with her? theyre both at rock bottom there is nowhere to go but up. they could even rebuild together! if you want them to be healthy so fucking bad they could confront their past and try again. TOGETHER. but its not cathartic or a good ending at all for them to just cut it off or stay friends after centuries of literal madness. stop putting these characters through therapy or making them well adjusted just shut up shut up AAGH .

#all these posts abt this are genuinely making me so anxious like what if it does happen and its awful #just go ahead and ruin everything their arcs have been building towards for years. negate the tragedy. character assassination. fuck you #we know that in an au where betty hadnt met simon she wouldve been happier. this doesnt mean that in our universe after everything #that they would be happier APART #theyre like the only thing each other has now! #also theres just no way betty has been sitting up in space doing self reflection like hmm #'i sacrificed a lot for simon maybe I should uhh negate this last biggest sacrifice and divorce him lol' #what im saying is . petrigrof breakup would not make them any healthier. you just hate seeing toxic lesbians winning #schizobabble #adventure time #fionna and cake #petrigrof #betty grof #i hope one million ppl block me

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k

There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead. 

Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this. 

He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs.  Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!

Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair. 

Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.

He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.

His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?" 

Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–

The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs. 

One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles. 

There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him. 

"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"

Oh. Yes. That. 

It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.

Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to. 

Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly. 

Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.

Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor. 

Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step. 

Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-

Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's. 

He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.

Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before. 

Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray. 

He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further. 

Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs,  "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"

Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of! 

But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons. 

#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art. #me like two weeks later: hey guys :) #this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod #not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright??? #but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling.... #maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing! #anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE) #see this is why im not cut out for writing fic #its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts #if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5 #anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness. #well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage #but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future #but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning? #also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv #mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all #hmm now how does one go about tagging fic #vettonso #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #formula 1 #martian #sebmark #also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed #hahaha! it is art to me!: #catie.art. #boy king au

[moothecowgirl]

Sometimes I get so bombarded by my own emotions and feel too many things all at once that rather than channeling them and feeling them normally I kind have a system overload and malfunction and start flopping on the floor like fish out of water croaking for help.

#I just got off the phone with one of my favorite people ever and I have so many joys and reflections I want to share #and I don’t even know where to start omg #I’m getting winded by my own heart lmao #hmm let me calm down a little and return to this with my joys #yes I think that would be good #because if I do it now I think the emotional whiplash might actually break my neck #I’m just feeling so many good emotions right now heh #I love my friend #m’s mind

[perfectlyunknownn]

I subconsciously hold emotionally invested friendships to a higher regard, I expect people to do the same however, they can’t because not everybody holds the capacity for that kind of friendship and unfortunately….this is why I feel disconnected with other people.

#thoughts #bpd #diary #writing #actually borderline #bpd fp #mental health #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #yeah #I like my understanding #if you read this and my other posts you’ve just witnessed me reflecting in real time #congrats grab a cookie!! #hmm interesting #so interesting

[polar-equinoxx]

okay so you guys know the scene where Maverick is “wondering who the best is” staring at Ice ,

I noticed that uh. That’s a ✨heart shaped✨ highlight.

Do you all see this-

Also also Maverick manages to look at Ice twice within twenty seconds in this scene. LIKE WE GET IT YOU’RE BOTH IN LOVE CALM DOWN

#like hello ????? #the directors were dropping hints that icemav was a thing before it even was a thing. #directors: oh yeah hey lets just subtly make the light reflect in a heart shape in mav’s eyes after he looks at iceman #hmm yes thats a good idea 👀😁 #ms tg #top gun #top gun 1986 #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav

[beforecreation]

do you hate mortals

"It'd be easy to think that, wouldn't it? It's a natural assumption, after all, a destroyer's job involves removing mortals that are deemed a detriment. It's certainly not a job for those with a bleeding heart. Mortals can be cruel, vain, and capable of an endless amount of detriment to the very planets they occupy, if not to the entire universe... But deities can be just as bad, if not worse than the mortals they preside over. It's quite peculiar, is it not?"

"I have no contempt for mortals, the most invigorating moments of my life were all a result of actions made by mortals. Rest assured, my hate is reserved for individuals."

#anonymous tag tbd #// honestly this is a valid question i'm just not sure if i answered this in a manner i like #// like sure this gets the point across but hmm idk #// i could do better but i couldn't think of anything better #// rifp me i guess #// anyway! he's not racist he's just a dick #// and yes he said that comment about deities without reflecting on how dangerous he is to the universe #// and how bad a job he's done

[crookedlyinnernightmare]

surprised kuusuke’s hair hasn’t gone gray from his lifestyle choices

#tried to conceptualize his regular schedule and what in the goddamn #he should be aging early #hmm actually that's thematically appropriate too #gold = first place and silver = second place #kusuke realizes his hair's going gray an dimmediately thinks it's kusuo's fault for changing peoples' hair via mind control #but no. it's his own fault. if he just stopped and paid attention to the way he treats himself.. but nooo this guy doesn't self reflect #so obvi he immediately starts dyeing his hair blond. still eats him up inside tho #ooh wait what if grandma kumi helps him dye it #she's kinda obssessed with youth so i do think she'd be the type to try and hide gray hairs #she's very sympathetic. doesn't know the real reason this is happening (she assumes kuniharu has terrible genes) #it's very wholesome family bonding as long as you ignore the complexes worsening in the background #.............why are my tags longer than the actual post................. #saiki kuusuke #saiki k

[donuts4evry1]

After reading through Dungeon meshi and reading + watching content about Kui’s character design, I realized something (as I’m sure many other artists did):

My own character designs, while interesting enough, didn’t really properly reflect the character. And in my case, they didn’t really properly reflect animals I was basing them off of.

For body types, the only thing that separated my characters was height. Legs and arms stayed the same, stomach and cleavage were relatively flat. My style is mostly simple, but if I truly want to do the jellies justice and give them good gijinkas, I need to do more. (I could also work on my facial features, but I still haven’t grown out of the button nose yet. Haha. For the record, though, I do have somewhat varied eye shapes and styles thanks to Mairuma-kun. Yay!)

If you see me retroactively redesigning characters to reflect this… oops. I’m realizing it might’ve been a bit of a mistake for me to post about all my characters so early in development (especially when I had no Idea what I was doing), but I guess it’s not a bad thing to document the design process.

#I’ve done a few art studies but nothing close to anything comprehensive #I did redesign a netrostroma setouchiana girl though! She still has the overall look im going for too just different. which makes me happy! #Jellyfish have really varied structures based on their group n i should really reflect that #rhizostomids should be relatively stout (since they’re rounder or flat in shape) #also I think they have slightly less water content and would look more solid as a gijinka #on the other hand jellies like the sea nettles would be pretty long and lankey #but the moon jellyfish would be pretty cute and round I think haha #and hmm… #lion’s manes would be pretty big and hairy I believe :) #this is a lot of fun #mun rambles #jellyfish #ite! it’s jellyfish love! #my rhizostomids are pretty lanky looking I should change that :)