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World Bipolar Day Feature: An Interview with Tina

Each year on March 30, the International Bipolar Foundation celebrates World Bipolar Day. In an effort to raise awareness about this condition that affects about 60 million people worldwide and in light of the fact that 1 in 4 people experience a mental illness in Jamaica, Safe Space JA spoke to Christina Levy aka. @tinamanina, who is living with bipolar disorder. Read the full interview below.

Photo courtesy of Yannick Reid

We have to start off with the really important questions. Firstly, if you were a meme, what would you be? And secondly, what’s your absolute favourite wanga gut indulgence?*

*inserts Resting Bitch face meme*. Oh, I’m not fussy. A double cheeseburger with extra pickles and mushrooms can tie me any day.

Recently, you spoke a little about your experience with bipolar disorder and therapy on your Twitter page. Did you feel anxious about being so open about it?

Somewhat, but I know how it feels to desperately need help/advice to deal with stressors and triggers. I only hoped that it made others feel comfortable enough to talk and reach out to a friend or a professional. There’s a popular Jamaican saying that goes something like “Who knows it, feels it”. Do you think that’s accurate when it comes to dealing with mental health challenges and illnesses? Oh, yes. A lot of persons only care about it if it’s close to home (i.e. friend or family member) or when it’s “too late” - suicide. In your words, how would you explain bipolar disorder?

It’s like…having two mental illnesses at the same time. On an emotional rollercoaster - blindfolded never knowing when an episode will hit.

Can you tell us more about your story with this mood disorder?

I was diagnosed when I was 19 after having a nervous breakdown right then and there at the clinic. I’d say the first signs would be in first form. As long as I can remember I loved to read - Nancy Drew, Goosebumps, Enid Blyton, even Shakespeare. I started reading/learning about his plays in the sixth grade and I remember being fully entranced by Macbeth. The transition to high school thereafter was hellish for me. The new environment, people and the workload and very little support engulfed me. I couldn’t concentrate and cried all the damn time, but covered it with humour. That coping mechanism pretty much stuck. I’m still fake funny. It does [run in my family]. At top speed. My mother, I assume, is bipolar too and my brother had schizophrenia. I’m still a bit iffy about whether or not I’m an empath. I do know I’m cautious about the energies around me and who I let in. What kind of medications do you use?

I’m on Quetiapine (Seroquel) - a mood stabilizer.

Tell us about the sign-up process for and experience with the National Health Fund (NHF) and MedeCus Health.

The sign up process for the NHF card was pretty quick and seamless. I got the form and went straight to their head office and got my card in a few minutes. I’m covered by MedeCus through my job.

Photo courtesy of Garreth Daley

If you had to say what the worst parts of living with a mental illness are…

The phases. I’ve been through the smoking, piercing, drinking, tattoo, hookups, job hopping, school hopping, friendships, porn, money-wasting phases. You name it. I think I’ve have exhausted every vice except hardcore drugs.

Little to no support from family who used to tell me to ignore it or “pray it away”. Theology is the last thing I need to be pushed down my throat.

The stigma. Like how do you even bring this up on a date?

The loss. Friendships and relationships crumbled in no time. I was in textbook toxic relationships that added to my stress.

The lows. When the depression hits, it literally felt like the joy, love and happiness was drained from my body. Not an ounce left. This has led to suicide attempts.

….And the best or even more manageable parts so far?

The highs. In the manic stage, the burst of energy is unreal. I feel like I can take on the world and paint everywhere bright pink.

Creativity/insight. A million and one ideas and designs run through my mind. I’m aware of the crap while it’s happening both to me and because of me.

Empathy. The ability to read/feel for others is a plus.

How supportive are your family and friends?

I’ve received the most support this year. Finally. It only took my parents 20+ years, no joke. My best friend understands me so much. No matter how long each episode lasts we help each other get through it.

What was therapy like for you? Was your therapist someone you could open to easily and feel safe with?

Right now, I have two therapists. One for psychotherapy at the clinic, the other who checks my progress with my medication and coping mechanisms. My new psychiatrist is a great listener. Before her I went to a well-known and hella expensive doctor who apparently I was paying to answer calls mid-session and be dismissive. The icing on the cake was the meds - Lamictal, side effects were unbearable. But with any illness and desperately needing help, I asked my GP for a referral and here I am with two new docs and much better medication. I learnt about tracking my moods and got “homework” where I should write letters to the people who have wronged me. Oh where should I begin? That’s going to be a hell of a list. Do you have a self-care routine or any coping practices that you actively do? It’s the little things that matter. No matter what mood I’m in, I make it a habit to nurture myself with either trips to the salon, drawing, watch cartoons, wining and dining with friends. If you could describe your recovery process in one word, it would be… Empowering. What was the hardest lesson you had to learn post-diagnosis? I’ve learnt that it’s not like other illnesses. It’s sneaky and wild if you don’t watch it all of the time. “If yuh slip yuh slide”.

In the past, there have been A LOT of heated discussions on Twitter about mental health, in particular, mental illnesses, like depression and anxiety. Do you think social networks (like Twitter) have helped to change the conversation about mental health in Jamaica?

Through Twitter alone, I’ve had many conversations with friends and followers about mental health that I, otherwise, never would have. The underlying message in most, if not all, of those conversations is that all of us share experiences with mental illness. Whether it’s a friend of a friend struggling with a new diagnosis or a follower reaching out to tell me they are bipolar too. The online community is especially supportive, with followers retweeting tips and anti-stigma spreading through memes. For an illness that makes me feel isolated, it is good to know that I’m not alone. If someone needed professional help to manage their mental health better, what kind of advice would you give them? It is always best and most comfortable to work with a therapist, doctor or other health professional that you can trust. You can Google nearby clinics/private offices if you don’t feel comfortable asking around. Be open and honest about your past and what you expect from them. Be an ally. Please please please take your meds as/if prescribed. Educate and nurture yourself in between sessions. It’s World Bipolar Day. When it comes to eliminating social stigma and raising awareness, how on track do you think Jamaica is there? What changes do you want to see happen? There’s a high level of stigma along with judging persons perceived as having even mild mental health conditions and persons would rather seek help from religious leaders or engage in religious coping. I would like to see better support systems/awareness and understanding in order to handle looming episodes. Since it’s all the interwebs speaks about these days, let’s get your say: pineapple on pizza or nah? Only. Savages. Put. Pineapples. On. Their Pizza. The two should not mix. It’s trash. It’s an abomination.

Any last words? We must give ourselves the room needed to grow with love, understanding and patience. You’re not alone. Your emotions are valid. You’re the shit.

Photo courtesy of RICO PATICO

About World Bipolar Day The vision of World Bipolar Day (WBD) is to bring world awareness to bipolar conditions and to eliminate social stigma. Through international collaboration, the goal of WBD is to bring the world population information about bipolar conditions that will educate and improve sensitivity towards the condition.

WBD will be celebrated each year on March 30th, the birthday of Vincent Van Gogh, who was posthumously diagnosed as probably having a bipolar condition.

World Bipolar Day is an initiative of International Bipolar Foundation (IBPF) in collaboration with the Asian Network of Bipolar Disorder (ANBD) and the International Society for Bipolar Disorders (ISBD)

#bipolar disorder #world bipolar day #mental illness #mental health awareness #mental health #mental health matters

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