#to feel ill need to wait another 5 years for another rare crush. i dont believe in fate i dont think. so i might not ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweetiejunie · 3 years

Text

It’s Because I Love you

Summary: Soobin dug himself into a hole and needed his bestfriend to help him out

Genre: Fluff, Friends-to-lovers, Slow-burn(ish)

Word count: ~10k (oops sry)

💕 Requested

A/n: to the anon that requested this. I’m so sorry this took me forever... haha~ I hope you liked it! And writing this actually reminded how much i like writing these. Do you guys prefer these kind of longer fics or the shorter reaction type fics?

Warnings: Some swearing

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“Y/n i fucked up.”

Was first line that came out of soobin’s mouth when you opened the door. It wasn’t unusual for soobin to randomly show up at your place. But you really weren’t expecting his presence today, since you knew he would be busy packing to head home for the week break. You were about to greet him but before you could say anything, he beat you to it, his sentence laced with regret and panic. “What did you do this time?” You answered, “aren’t you supposed to be packing?” “I- excuse you what do you mean ‘this time’?” He mocked. “Okay, whatever, we’ll get back to that and yeah, i am, but I fucked up real bad,” he repeated. “Huh?” You took a step back so soobin could enter. “Are you alright? What happened?” “So you know how all my cousins and sibling are in a relationship right?” Soobin continued, making his way to your couch to sit down. Resting his head back against the cushions as he groaned. “Yeah, what about it?” Tilting your head as the conversation got more confusing by the second. You closed the door behind you before joining him. “Well... my brother just called me and may have been bothering me about being the only one that isn’t in a relationship...” he trailed off, “and erm, i may have said i... had a girlfriend. And now my family wants met her.” You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at his confession, “you did what? You really dug yourself into a hole this time.” Soobin was the youngest of his family. He was always the one that chose to focus more on his grades than actually making friends. Sure, he went to parties and drank every now and then, but other than that, he rarely did anything short of the ‘perfect son’. But despite all his efforts, there was always one thing his sibling could tease him about, and that was the fact that he was 21 and has never been in a relationship. Soobin always tried to not let this bother him, but i guess today, he just snapped. “I really did,” he sighed. “That’s why i need your help.” “How can i possibly help you out of this, soobin?” you ridiculed, glaring at him. “You do know that you’re one of my only friends, right? Meaning, I won’t be able to find anyone to play girlfriend with you.” “Um, actually about that... i kind of told my family that my girlfriend goes to the same school as me and studies the same major as me. I also kind of told them that she has y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair.” He sat up, looking for a reaction from you. Instead, all he saw was your blank expression, staring back at him. “Yeah so, if you hadn’t caught on yet, i might have, sort of, just described you to my family.” Your eyes widened at his statement, you weren’t sure what to reply. You met soobin all the way back in high school, and you’ve stayed friends ever since — 5 years, 11 months, 23 days, to be exact. Not that you were keeping count or anything. You remember the first day you approached the shy boy, the new transfer student sitting at the back alone. He was the first friend you made there. And to makes things worse, you’ve had a crush on him, but you knew better than to confess and possibly ruin the friendship. You’ve suppressed all your feeling since then. Maybe. Probably. Okay, no. But you’ve tried. And all this talk of ‘pretend girlfriend’ did nothing but make your heart start racing again. “Why on earth would you do that!” “I dont know! You were the first person that came to mind! So are you okay with doing me the favour of playing the role of my girlfriend?” Soobin said with a slight pout and puppy dog eyes. A move he knew you could never refuse, “You’re free this break, right?” His sudden confession was like a blow to your heart. The first person that came to his mind... but it’s probably just because he didnt have many female friends, right? “Erm...” you paused. The more you thought about his proposition, the more you found yourself weighing the consequences. “Come on y/n. Please? We already get engaged every other week at clubs for free drinks. This won’t be that much different.” “Would your family believe it? I mean, it’s me.” “Sure they will. And it’ll be easy to fake it since you already know me.” You paused for another second before replying. “Hm, right. Fine. But you owe me. Do i have to bring anything?” You were helping out a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. “Nope, just bring enough clothes. You don’t need anything too fancy,” he stood up, leaning down to give you a quick hug. As he walked towards the door, he looked over his shoulder before leaving your apartment. “Thanks for doing this, i really owe you. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow after our classes, alright? See you then.”

————-————-————-————-

After an hour, three outfit changes and completely unpacking and repacking your luggage twice, you were finally satisfied and ready to go. It was only a weeks worth of clothes in a small luggage, yet, you still found a way to overthink it. In the end, you had settled for a simple tee with jeans and a coat to keep you warm for the ride. Already, you were beginning to regret your decision of going along with this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ act. It had nothing to do with soobin or his family. They were absolutely wonderful, his parents were kind, his siblings were fun and sweet and his baby nephew was, well, a baby. The only problem was what if your heart liked the idea of being his ‘girlfriend’ just a little bit too much? You had met his siblings and parents a handful of times when they visited him at his apartment. They’ve always been nothing but nice to you, and now, you were going to have to lie to them. The more you thought about it, the more your mind was playing angel and devil with you. On one hand, you didn’t want to spend the weekend being dishonest and possibly screwing up the image soobin’s family had of you. But on the other, you wanted to be selfish and be able to call soobin yours, even if it were just for a few days. You sighed quietly, sitting in your living room waiting for soobin to pick you up like he said he would. The entire day you had been unable to focus in your classes, whatever your lectures said just going right through your head. At this time on fridays, you would normally have found soobin dressed in any lounge wear he had, crashing at your place to watch whatever movie he found that week. But now, you were going to find him dressed up, ready to bring you to meet his parents. The relationship sure escalated quickly. Just as your mind started drifting further, your doorbell rang. “U ready?” Soobin’s signature eye smile greeted you, his front bunny teeth exposed. You’ve always noticed how soobin’s appearance resembled that of a bunny, but no matter how many times you tried to tell him, he didn’t want to believe it. “As ready as ill ever be,” you returned the smile, grabbing your luggage and locking your front door. Well, this was it, no turning back now. Helping you with your things, soobin lead you to his car and started the journey. It was only about a 3 hour drive and a car ride proved to be a great distraction. You hadn’t been to soobins hometown before, so being able to look out the window and see the scenery was no doubt better than sneaking glances at soobin in the drivers seat. You just knew that if you saw soobin, with one hand on the steering wheel, and the other propped on the arm rest, you might have gone into cardiac arrest. The ride was quiet for the most part, that was until soobin pulled up at a red light. “I made a playlist,” soobin flipped his phone around to show you and connect it to his car. “It’s like, if you were my real girlfriend, this would be the playlist i would share with you.” You couldn’t help but smile when you realised how sweet soobin would be in an actual relationship. His future girlfriend is really lucky. But you had to control yourself, reminding yourself that it’s all just pretend for the week. “I’m sure its great. You have great taste in music,” you faked a laugh. “Um... so... soobin? How exactly are we supposed to fake this? I mean, what we supposed to do? What will your family do?” “Oh...” he started, his eyes focusing back on the road, the lights turning green again. “To be honest, i haven’t actually thought about that part yet.” Drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he thought. “Mmm, when my brother first brought his girlfriend home, my family teased him a lot, just to make fun of him and get her reaction. But they already did that with you whenever they visited me so... I’m not sure what they’ll do, honestly.” “Oh...” That was completely unhelpful. Pulling your knees to your chest, you continued staring blankly out the window. “Hey, don’t worry too much okay? We’ll just wing it like we do everything else. And that’s worked out for us so far, right?” Soobin chuckled, trying to comfort you. “As for what we need to do. I guess it’ll just be all that couple stuff like holding hands and hugging. And you’re already such a cuddly person, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. We got this, alright? And I’ll be with you the entire time.” You nod a response, “yeah, we got this.” On the outside, you tried to seem cool and composed. On the inside however, you were a mess. Sure, you and soobin already had your fair share of cuddles when he showed up for a movie night at your place. And on the days he was too lazy to go back to his dorm, you would find him whining and groaning for you to make him breakfast the next day. But now you were expected to act that way in front of his family? That was a whole new level of stress you didn’t think about when you agreed to this. After a while more of driving, it was a little over 10pm when soobin finally pulled up alongside the curd in front of his house. The remainder of the car ride had been relatively silent, except for the playlist that soobin had made for you, and the occasional mindless singing you would start that turned into a carpool karaoke. Getting off, soobin unloaded his and your luggage and lead you to the front door. Probably noticing your nervous state, soobin grabbed your shaking hands. “I’m right here alright?” He smiled, “it’s show time.” With that, he rang the doorbell. And not 15 seconds later, soobin’s sister answered the door. “Soobin!” She greeted, pulling him into a hug, “we’ve been waiting for you and- oh! Y/n! I knew it. Same major, y/e/c eyes, y/h/c hair. If it wasn’t you, i was about to kick his ass.” “Hah, yeah, surprise?” You said, the last part sounding more like a question than a sentence. “Aish, this boy. The previous night on the call, he just told us he’ll be bringing his girlfriend home, gave us a description but never told us who. Left us all to wonder who she was and well,” she chuckled, putting an arm around soobin’s shoulders, “if she even existed. I’m glad it’s you, the first time we met you, i already knew you two would end up together.” “Wait, so you all took guesses on who it was?” Soobin chimed in, shooting a glare at his sister. “Well, yea! All of us pretty much guessed y/n. Except for mom though, she’s kept quiet about it. But i guess it was just because she didn’t want to get her hopes up.” Looking at soobins annoyed expression, you laughed. Shrugging of his sisters arm, soobin grabbed both your luggage, pushing past his sister and pulled them into the house. “Alright, alright, just let us in already, its freezing out here.” “It’s nice to see you again y/n,” his sister said as she held the door open for you. “Likewise.” You smiled before stepping in. You’d never been to soobin’s house before. Sure, you’ve seen bits and pieces of it when the two of your FaceTimed over the holidays, but never in person. In the hallway where you stood, were the stairs that you presumed lead to the bedrooms. Sporadically placed were a few house plants that looked as if they had been watered quite recently. The walls were littered with family photos, and most noticeably, soobin’s baby pictures. You smiled looking at them, taking a mental image of the cute, little baby this giant once was. Closing the door behind you, soobins sister spoke, “you guys wait here. I think mom and dad are in the living room. I’ll go get them.” As you saw her silhouette disappear towards one of the entries, you felt the nerves building up again, “soobin...” you tilted you head up to look at him, your face portraying nothing but worry. “Don’t worry okay?” Taking your hand in his, gently squeezing for reassurance.“ Just follow my lead and pretend you’re in love with me. Which should be easy since I’m your favourite person,” he joked, in attempts to lighten your mood. ‘Pretend to be in love with him’. Okay, shouldn’t be too hard, considering the fact that you actually were in love with him and spent years pretending not to be. “Yea, alright.” Letting go of your hand, soobin walked forward to hug his parents when he saw them approaching. “Soobin, we were starting to wonder how long more you would take,” his mom said. “How are you? How’s everything at school?” “Everything’s fine,” he replied. Turning to you, he held out his hand for you to take. “Mom, dad, you know y/n.” Accepting his hand, you stepped forward to greet his parents. Just hoping that your nervous trembling wasn’t too obvious to the naked eye. “Ah of course! How could we ever forget,” his mom smiled. “We always knew the two of you would end up together eventually. He’s always been so obvious about you,” his dad added, causing blood to rush to your cheeks, and soobin to immediately retaliate. “Dad! Stop it. No i have not!” You looked around at him just in time to see him cross his arms and roll his eyes, cheeks pink and eyes shining. He met your eyes and looked away, but the grin on his face never faltered. Hitting her husbands arm, soobins mom scolded, “aish, stop teasing them, they just got here. Speaking of which, have you two eaten?” “No we havent, actually. We came right after school,” soobin answered. “In that case, you can take yours and y/n stuff up to your room and get settled in. I’ll order some food for you. Pizza sound okay?” his mom spun soobin around, pushing him back to where your luggage laid. “His room?” You thought out loud. Of course they were expecting you to share a room with soobin. What else could you have possibly thought. “Of course his room,” his mom answered, “you have known each other for such a long time. And i have no doubts there are days that soobin stayed over at your apartment instead of his dorm anyway. There’s no way I’m letting you sleep on the couch.” With that, you and soobin grabbed your things and headed up to his room. Sure, the nights soobin stayed over you have shared a bed before. But this time, it just felt different. Even though everything was still purely platonic, the element of you being in his home, pretending to be his girlfriend, was still no doubt intimidating. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Soobin asked rhetorically, snapping you out of your thoughts. He laughed, clearly taking the whole situation a lot lighter than you were. Opening the door to his room, it was exactly how you pictured it when he called you. You stood at the doorway, it seemed so familiar, yet unknown at the same time. His bed in the corner of the room with a few pillows and plushies, at the other end, his desk and wardrobe filled with clothes he left behind. His walls were mainly bare, except for one that had a few old polaroids hanging loosing from the ceiling. It felt weird being there. “Well, don’t just stand there,” soobin grabbed your luggage from you, pulling you in to the room so he could close the door behind you and crashing down on his bed. “First, let me give you the official welcome to mi casa. My family is a lot, but you already knew that. Make yourself at home.” “Honestly, i cant believe they bought it so easily,” you let out, taking a seat next to him. “Told you they would. My family probably loves you more than they love me.” You laughed halfheartedly, still feeling a bit awkward about the whole thing. “We should clean up before we head back to the wolves den for dinner. The bathroom is right down the hall to the right. You can go first, ill clear a drawer for you,” he offered. You nod, gathering your things for the night. This is all just pretend.

————-————-————-————-

The shower definitely helped calm you down a bit. You loved the warmth of the water against your skin. “It’s just for a week. Dont get used to it,” you muttered to yourself. Getting out, you quickly dressed yourself in a tshirt and some shorts. The normal attire you wore to sleep, anything else was always just uncomfortable for you. “You’re turn,” you announced when you entered soobins room again. “That was quick. Here, take one of my sweaters.” “What for?” You shot him a look, raising brow. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t stole his hoodies before, it was just the fact that he was offering it this time. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, aren’t you? Girlfriends always take their boyfriend’s clothes.” Fishing a plain, red sweater out from his wardrobe, he threw it in your direction, hitting you directly in the face and causing you to yelp a little. “Besides, you already take all my hoodies. This is no different,” he continued, eyeing you as you pulled it over your head. As usual, soobin’s clothes were huge on you. And this sweater was no doubt oversized, even for him. “How do i look?” You looked to him when you didn’t get a reply. But this only caused him to turn away from you quickly, mumbling something to himself before answering, “it’s my clothes, it’ll look great on everyone.” Scrambling to gather his things, he left for his shower. You could have swore you saw him blushing when he was looking at you. But you brushed it off as your overactive imagination. You decided to swiftly blow dry your hair before laying on his bed, scrolling through your phone while waiting for him. You were hungry, practically starving, but there was no way in hell you were going to face his family again on your own. With your new status, god knows what they would do or say. A mere 15 minutes go by before you hear the door open again. Revealing a damp haired soobin, dressed in a white tee and sweatpants. A simple look you have seen many times over the years, but one that still made your head and thoughts hazy. “Ready to go down?” He spoke, smirking at you, almost knowingly, “I’m starving.” “Ye- yeah,” gathering your thoughts, bringing yourself back to reality.

————-————-————-————-

Dinner with the family wasnt all that bad. Sure, there was the occasional teasing and questions. But that was to be expected. Any parent would have been curious, right? You let soobin take the lead on most of those. You didn’t want your cover to get blown by having any clashing answers. Once in a while you would feel soobin grab your hand under the table when he needed your help, but for the most part, they were the basic questions like “since when?” Or “who confessed first?”. The usual relationship stuff, nothing too hard. And it was a lot easier with the fact that it was you and soobin, the two friends that have mastered the art of bullshitting your way out of situations. At the end of the day, the awkwardness ended soon after it started. With it being past midnight, Soobin’s family had long gone to bed, leaving you two alone in the dimly lit kitchen to finish up your dinner, which had quickly became supper. “So, how was day one of being my girlfriend?” He looked over to you, munching on another piece of pizza. Even in that horrible lighting, he still managed to take your breath away. No one could possibly look good with dull, ugly, yellow kitchen lighting, but somehow, he did. The way the soft light bounced off his skin, partnered with the reflection in his eye that gave that perfect shine to them. You were sure you looked horrid next to him. “Mmm, it’s alright i guess,” you teased, earning a pout from soobin. “You big baby. I’m just kidding,” nudging him on the shoulder, causing you both the laugh. You didn’t know why this question surprised you as much as it did. Maybe you wanted to flip the tables, or maybe you just weren’t expecting the answer he gave. “So how was day one of having me as your pretend girlfriend?” He thought about it for a second before facing you and speaking. “Honestly, it’s been fun. Even though we haven’t done much. But then again, i always knew you would be great girlfriend to someone one day.” ‘Someone’. If only you could tell him how much you wanted that someone to be him. If only you had the guts to say what’s was on your mind. “Want to play some music?” Breaking the silence, soobin picked up his phone, quickly scrolling through his playlists before stopping on one he named ‘midnight’. “It’s just some chill songs i found that i thought would be nice to listen to at night.” The playlist started and the first song to play was ‘what falling in love feels like’. “Oh, i love this song,” you mindlessly stated between bites. “Really?” Soobin replied. “I never heard you listen to classical music.” Your eyes widened slightly when you realised what you said. You didn’t just listen to classical music. You’ve also imagined what it would be like to slow dance to it. “I never really told anyone... but i always wanted to dance with someone to this song. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit,” you trailed off, the surface of the counter suddenly becoming more interesting. The dead of night had you confessing unspoken words. There was another second of silence. You could feel soobin’s stare on your face. He was judging you. You were sure of it. Now you were just mentally preparing yourself for a laugh- “Let’s dance.” “What?” You weren’t expecting that. You shot your head up, seeing his outstretched hand. “Let’s dance,” he repeated. You reached for his hand, but didn’t grab it. You were hesitant. Never would you have thought you’d be slow dancing with your crush — of over 3 years, in the kitchen of his childhood home — at midnight. He held you hand, helping you to stand before twirling you into his arms. He lead your hands around his neck and his around your waist. You fell in step, letting the rhythm control your movements. Your eyes gazing into his brown, glistening ones, a soft smile on his face. It felt like a dream. Your surroundings and any other disturbances dissolved. It was just you and him. Right here, right now. You stayed like that, dancing. Everything felt just... perfect. “You know i’d never judge you right?” He said, his eyes watching your expressions closely. “I know that’s what you were thinking earlier.” You looked away, unable to find the right words. Soobin always had a way to read you so easily. Every once in a while he would remind you how expressive your face was. And you were certain a blush had crept to your cheeks when you heard soobin chuckle. “You silly girl. You can tell me anything. You know that. After all, you are my best friend.” “Right... best friend,” you offered a small smile to mask the resignation in your words. And just like that, the song ended. Soobin let go your waist. Leaving nothing the ghostly feeling of where his hands once were and the sensation of having his body so close to yours. “It’s nearly 1am. We should go to bed soon,” he nodded towards the clock on the stove. “You can head up first. I’ll clean up here and join you in a bit.” You nodded. Once you were back in his room, you crashed on his bed. Regret and agony the only things left for you to feel. Why did you agree to this. You knew it would be hard. But not this hard. You rolled over to your side of the bed. And true to his word, soobin entered shortly after. Climbing under the covers with you, poking your side when you paid no attention to him. You jumped, immediately facing him. “What was that for!?” “Nothing,” he laughed. “It’s just fun to do that to you. I have a fun day planned tomorrow, so get up early. Good night y/n.” “Good night, asshole.” You scoffed.

The next morning you woke up to a post-it on your head. You tore it off and looked around the room but soobin was nowhere to be seen. You groaned, sitting up to stretch and read the note. ‘Wake up sleepyhead. Come to the kitchen for breakfast.’ Oh, how you wished the entire night before had been a dream. But alas, it wasn’t. Pulling yourself out of bed, you cleaned yourself up and descend the stairs. The smell of fresh pancakes engulfing the entire house. “Good morning y/n,” soobin’s dad greeted you when you entered the kitchen. “Grab a seat. Breakfast is almost done.” “Your dad cooks?” You whispered as you pulled out the stool next to soobin. “Mainly breakfast. But yes,” he whispered back. Soobin’s dad placed a plate in front of each of you. 3 pancakes a piece, and more to come. “Butter or maple syrup?” “Both,” soobin smugly answered. “And you y/n?” “Ill have both as well, thanks,” you smiled before facing soobin. “Where’s your mom and sister?” “My mom went to the store. And my sister doesn’t get up till later.” Soobin grabbed the syrup his father had just put on the table and poured a generous amount. His attention was fully on his food. You couldn’t help but grin at his childlike manner. He always loved breakfast. Or any dish that can be both sweet and savoury actually. You both enjoyed your breakfast, watching soobin’s father flip pancakes, cheering when it landed, and messing around while cooking as your morning source of entertainment. “The pancakes are really good, mr choi,” you complimented. “Why, thank you y/n. You always have been such well mannered,” he said. “Hopefully some of that will rub off on my son soon.” “Hey! I am well mannered,” soobin retorted. “Oh, really now,” you taunted, giving him a look of disbelief. Soobin tsked, lightly pushing you over. “Okay, whatever. Anyways, hurry up. I’m going to show you around town today.” “You two don’t come back too late now,” his father added. “And bring a coat, it’s supposed to get colder today.” Stuffing down the remainder of his food, soobin linked your arms and dragged you out of the kitchen the moment he saw your plate empty. “Hey! I’m not done yet, i wanted one mo-!” “Bye dad!” Soobin interrupted, ignoring your plea.

————-————-————-————-

“So much being well mannered.” You mocked. “Not my fault you wanted to eat so much,” he shrugged. Both of you strolled along the road. You weren’t sure where soobin was bringing you, other than his aforementioned ‘town’. Despite it just being the two of you, soobin still dressed nicely, in a turtleneck and scarf with a black coat to go over it. “Wait...” you started, noticing a passing sign. “Why does that say the town is the other way?” “Cause i changed my mind. I’m bringing you somewhere else,” he replied, shooting you one of his, oh so charming, eye smiles. “I’ll bring you to town another day.” “This way’s to the forest,” you raised an eyebrow. “Are you planning to kill me or something? After 6 years of friendship. This is how you want to end it?” You dramatically gripped your chest and joked. “I’m sorry for whatever i did. I can change, I swear.” Soobin rolled his eyes and guffawed. “Of course. This has been my plan all along. To befriend you then brutally murder you among the trees where no one can find your body,” he played along. “Relax, I’m no murderer. An avid liar? Maybe. But not a murderer. I just want to show you something.” You hummed a response and continued on your way. Not long after, soobin was leading you down a path in the deserted forest. As the path reached deeper into the woods, the trees got denser. “Erm, soobin, where are we going?” You called from behind him. “I’m really starting to question the whole murder thing.” You’re not going to lie when you say the woods kind of crept you out. You could have sworn you felt someone behind you. But when you turned around, there wasn’t a soul. The twigs and dead leaves making a deafening crunch under your feet as the — seemingly never-ending — journey continued. “Just trust me,” he provided a simple answer that proved to be of no help in ensuring you. As you continued, the sound of snapping twigs got louder. You turned the corner and the sudden sound of birds fleeing their nest startled you, causing you to jump and grab soobin’s coat from the back. “Are you really that scared?” He laughed. “Don’t worry,” he continued, turning around and reaching for your hand. Gently running his thumb over yours the rest of the way. “We’re almost there. It’s worth it, i promise.” Having his hand in yours definitely provided some comfort. But it was also making you feel things that you shouldn’t be feeling. After another minute of walking, you finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The horrid crunching sound had been washed out by the sound of, well, rushing water. A waterfall. You gasped in astonishment at the clarity of the Caribbean-blue waterfall. It was spurting over the basalt rock, spilling eel-like over the ledges. Its clamorous passage at the foot of the mountain threw up bubbles of spray. They sparkled uneasily in the beams of light that shined through the leaves of surrounding trees. When it toppled into the ecstasy-pool, it foamed it at the bottom. The rest of the pool was as clear as cellophane, allowing you to see down into the rocky bottom. Fronds of forest-green plants waved gently in the depths. The waterfall looked like a sheet of blue velour as it swished down. Its edges were hemmed with whipped-white lines. “Wow,” was all you managed to utter out. “I told you it was worth it,” soobin grinned. “Come on.” He lead you closer, collapsing on the bank and letting the nougat sweet smell of flowers wash over him. You followed suit. “How did you find this place?” “A friend of mine showed it to me when we were kids.” He said, leaning back against his palms. “We used to hang out all the time here. The five of us. That is, until i moved away for high school. “I wonder what they’re up to now.” He added after a slight pause. “You don’t see them when you come back for the holidays?” You asked. Soobin shook his head. “I don’t get to see them much anymore. I barely leave my house, y/n, you know that. Besides, they’re all busy with their own lives.” You listened to soobin reminisce about his childhood. You would listen to soobin talk for hours if you could. His words are were like gold to you, or perhaps some elixir you’ve been waiting all your days to hear. He had nothing but good things to say. It sounded like he had a lot of fun here, in the small town he grew up in. You both sat there for a while, gawking at the waterfall when the suddenly rustling of the bushes behind you caught your attention. “Y/n,” soobin stood up, holding you behind him as the rustling got louder. And then a figure walked through, a boy. He was wearing a brown furry jacket. His hair was a strange shade a pink, but it complimented his skin tone nicely. “Soobin?” The boy said, folding his arms. “No way. Is that actually you? Mr choi soobin. After all these years.” “Yeonjun?” Soobin replied, letting go of you and walking up to yeonjun. “What are you doing here?” “I was on my way out and thought i saw you earlier entering the forest so i decided to follow you. Who else knows this place anyway?” Yeonjun laughed, swinging an arm around soobin’s shoulder. “So you practically followed, what could have been, a complete stranger into the forest?” Soobin shot him a look. To that, yeonjun just smiled and nodded. “You never change, do you?” “Nope,” yeonjun answered confidently. “Anyways, are you going to introduce me to the pretty lady or do i have to do that myself?” He gestured a smile towards you. Beside him, soobin stiffened, his jaw slightly tensing before he answered. “Right... Yeonjun, y/n. We met in high school, she’s my best friend. Y/n, yeonjun. He was one of my friends i was telling you about-” “Yeah, until this bastard moved, changed his number and practically became a hermit that never left his house much.” Yeonjun jibed. “Hmm, that sounds about right. The only place I’ve seen him, other than class or the library, is at my apartment binge watching shows,” you added, causing yeonjun to burst out a laugh. “You guys are mean.” Soobin grumbled, pushing yeonjun’s arm off him. “I have a feeling she and i are going to be great friends.” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly. The three of you sat there, talking for what seemed like hours. Soobin and yeonjun continued to tell you about the different adventures they had together as kids with their friends, beomgyu, kai and taehyun. They recounted all the accidents that happened, all the fun moments they had together. Yeonjun eventually proceeded to tell you about all the embarrassing soobin stories he could think of, sharing jokes and making you laugh. The entire time though, soobin barely directed any conversation at you. Let alone laugh at Yeonjun’s ‘jokes’. As your laughter died down, yeonjun spoke again. “I have to ask though, what’s she doing doing here? Not that there’s anything wrong with it. I’m just curious. Does she live around here too?” You looked to soobin, unsure of how or what to answer. “It’s okay, yeonjun won’t snitch,” he said. “Y/n’s pretending to be my girlfriend for the holiday.” It hurt you every time he said it. In your head you wished so badly for it to be real. To think, by now you would have learnt that wishing only wounds the heart. And each time soobin said it out loud, it was like a punch to the gut. “Pretending to be your-“ yeonjun cut himself off by scoffing. “What for?” “Well....” soobin started explaining the whole situation to yeonjun. To which the only response he got out of the other boy was mockery and disbelief. “Are you serious?!” Yeonjun exclaimed. “So you two aren’t together?” You shook your head. “Oh... good....” he mumbled, grinning in the process. “You have got to be kidding me. But you guys do you, i guess. My lips are sealed. “I hate to ruin the moment but i have to go. It was nice meeting you y/n.” He tipped an imaginary hat. “It was nice to see you again too, soobin. But let know, the next time you’re back.” “Right, ill keep that in mind.” Soobin replied. Just as yeonjun started to walk away, he stopped and turned around once more. “Oh! Right. How long are you guys staying? I’m meeting beomgyu, tae and kai on monday at the diner. You should come,” his eyes travelled to you, “both of you.” “We cant-“ “We would love to!” You cut soobin off, “come on soobin, you haven’t seen your friends in ages. I would be nice to say ‘hi’ again.” Soobin stared at you for a second. Maybe it was the excitement in your face or maybe he truly did want to see his friends again. But in the end he agreed. “Great! Ill see you two monday at 5.” Yeonjun ended, giving a small salute before leaving, for real this time. Soobin went back to the bay, laying down on the grass, letting out a long held sigh. He stared up at the sky that was quickly becoming darker. The stars and moon announcing their arrival. “You alright?” You asked, sitting down next to him. “Yeah, why wouldn’t i be?” He answered, his eyes still closed. “I don’t know. You just seemed... off just now. Like my or yeonjun’s presence bothered you.” “It’s nothing. Im just tired.” He sighed again, sitting up. “While on the subject, we should head back. It’s getting dark.” He stood up and started walking without another word. Was he mad at you? No... he had no reason to be, right? Was he mad about the joke you made with yeonjun? You quickly caught up to him and followed him out of the forest. Other than your footsteps against the concrete road and the cicadas that came out to say their daily greetings, the awkward silence followed the rest of the way. “I’m not annoyed at you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” soobin broke the silence. The entire walk you had your focus on the ground, not noticing the stolen glances soobin took. “Stop sulking. People are going to think i kicked your puppy or something.” He chuckled, bending his waist slight to look at your face. His face was mere inches away from yours. Memories from the previous night came flooding back. You didn’t offer a response, not trusting the words that would escape your lips in that moment. Instead just turning your face to the other side to avoid his stare. Soobin let out a light hearted laugh and continued walking. You recalled how soobin always said you had an expressive face. He must have seen something you didn’t realise. The sky got darker as you continued down the road. The cool winter breeze greeting the concrete and skin just the same, causing you to shiver and wrap your arms around yourself. Mentally cursing the fact that, other than your khaki coat, you didn’t think to wear more layers that morning. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. “Are you cold?” Soobin asked, already shedding off his cherry red, wool scarf. “No, it’s alright, you’ll get cold,” grabbing his hands to stop his actions. “I’ll be fine. And we’re only about 5 minutes away,” he argued, wrapping his scarf around your neck. He took your hand, pulling you behind him the rest of the way quickly before you ‘caught a cold’. The scarf sat snug to your skin, soft and gentle, the ends becoming a colourful flag in the wintry winds. It was still warm from where it sat before. You could smell of his cologne on it. Faint, from the day’s activities. But still prominent enough to know it’s existence. Your hands trembled in his and you thanked the cold for that excuse. Burying your face deeper into his scarf before he could make out the slight blush that painted your cheeks. When you reached soobin’s home again, there was a faint chattering echoing through house. “Oh, i think my older sister’s came for a visit.” Soobin’s older sister. The one that’s the account, married, with the baby — soobin’s nephew — and the lovely husband. You’ve only ever met them once, well that, and the occasional pictures soobin would send you of him and his nephew. Seeing soobin with babies did things to your heart thats you didn’t like. You’ve already imagined the unlikely scenario of what it would be like to have soobin as your boyfriend. You can’t go fantasising an entire family as well. But you had to admit, he would make a great dad one day. “Soobin!” His older sister ran and hugged him. He’s always had such a close bond with his siblings. “Mom and dad told me you brought your girlfriend home this time.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Hey sis. And yeah, y/n. You know her,” soobin turned to you. “Of course. The last time i saw you two I knew you’d end up together.” She cheered as if she had just won the lottery. So, from what you’ve gathered, soobin’s entire family had always had some hopes on the two of two. You wanted to smile at that fact. But at same time, you were lying to them right now. It was a bittersweet feeling. The remainder of the night went on rather unproductive. You had dinner with his family, chatted with them, played with the baby and that was about it. The worst part came when the family decided to watch a movie together. The movie was great, dont get me wrong. You all sat together and watched kingsman again. Even though it was the tenth time you’ve seen it, it was still yours and Soobin’s favourite. The bad part came when you had to find a seat. The family couch say four, soobin’s mom, dad and sisters. The older’s husband took one of the arm chairs, leaving you and soobin to share the other. In other words, you ended up having to sit on his lap. “I can just sit on the floor, its no problem,” you suggested. “Nonsense. I won’t let you sit on the floor,” soobin rebutted, holding your waist, pulling you back onto his lap. You swear, if it wasn’t for the dimness of the room, the redness of your face would have matched that of the fire place. Throughout the movie you found it extremely hard to pay attention. Soobin had left one of his hands to rest on your knee and the other around your back. Sure, he was probably just putting on a show for his family. But he didn’t have to do the thumb thing as well. Or gently whisper in your ear, so close that you could feel his breath against your neck. The rest of the time you couldn’t help but fidget in your seat — which just so happened to be soobin’s lap. As interesting as the fight scene on screen was or the dramatic music playing, the only thing you could focus on was the fact that soobin’s hand had now traveled to your thigh. And underneath you, soobin’s breathing was becoming short and uneven. He was starting to stir as well before getting up, forcing you to stand and murmuring, “I’m going to head to bed early. You guys enjoy the rest of the movie.” Within the next beat of the soundtrack, he was dashing out of the living room and running up the stairs. What...? You weren’t the only one wondering that. Soobin’s family were now staring at you, his mothers brows furrowed, his sister’s head tilted quizzically. “He said he’s tired,” you blurted, face-palming in your head. Great. You already felt out of place and this certainly wasn’t helping. You sat down on the, now vacant, chair and continued the rest of the movie with his family. I’m sure he’s fine. You can always ask him tomorrow.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up to an empty bed again. But this time there was no post it note or anything from soobin. So you assumed he’d be in the kitchen like before. “Morning y/n,” it was his older sister this time. “Morning.” You looked around. No sight of soobin. “Where’s soobin?” “Oh he didn’t tell you? He went out for a walk around 20 minutes ago.” Why didn’t he wait for you? “Yeah, he didn’t. Did he say where he was going or when he’ll be back?” You asked. To that, she just shook her head. Oh...

“I almost forgot,” she continued. “There was a note for you. I left it on the counter for you.”

You picked it up, hoping to see Soobin’s name as the regards, telling you his whereabouts. Instead, the note was fairly short.

Hey y/n!

Once again i just wanted to welcome you to town. It was really nice meeting you yesterday! Maybe we could hang out some time?

(Hopefully) Your friend,

Yeonjun

Did Soobin see it? Either way, why does it matter. After breakfast, you decided to wait for soobin to come home. If he didn’t tell where he was going, it means he cant be gone long, right? You sat in his room, figuring it would be the only place you didnt have to face his family members. It was only about an hour and a half of waiting and a lunch break, that you got bored. You could only scroll your phone so much before it started to get more redundant than it already was. So, checking the weather report, you got dressed and left for a walk around. You hadn’t seen much of the area yet, it wouldn’t be harmful to do some exploring. Learning your lesson from yesterday, you put on a wool sweater underneath your coat. A pair of dr marten to match. It was a rather fine day out. You walked under the sun that warmed your skin, but the cool winds keeping the temperature cool enough. The only thing that would make this better would be if soobin were with you... “Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice call from behind you. You turned around and saw a familiar lock of pink hair running towards you, frantically waving his arms. He was wearing a leather jacket today. Behind him was someone else that chased after him. He had nicely styled, bleached blonde hair and was slightly short than yeonjun was. “Oh, hi.” You greeted the two of them. “Fancy running into you again.” “I know, right!” He agreed, a bit more enthusiastically than what you would imagine. “Why are you alone? Where’s soobin?” “No clue. He just took off this morning. Didn’t tell me anything and i got bored of sitting around alone.” “Maybe the pressure of a relationship getting to him,” yeonjun suggested. “It’s fake though,” you mocked. He just shrugged. “Doesn’t make it any less of a commitment.” You hummed a reply. “Fair enough.” “Anyway. If you have nothing better to do... taehyun and i,” he said, gesturing towards to boy beside him, “were just headed to the arcade in town. Care to join us?” “Sure, I don’t see why not.” You followed as yeonjun and taehyun lead you through the town soobin said he would bring you to. Every corner they turned, they greeted someone new. From little kids to elderly ladies and gentlemen. Small town, i guess everyone knew everyone. Eventually, they stopped in front of a building, the arcade. The pings from the pinball machines, the bullets from the shooting games, and the ‘jackpot’ announcements, all a dead give away. From the outside, the building looked old and rundown. The paint was old and cracking as if it hadn’t been repainted in years. Even the neon signs provided to the retro aesthetic, casting a purple-red hue over everything. You stood there, taking in the atmosphere for a second. It sure was different from any arcade you had back in the city. You glanced around, when a figure at one of the pinball machines caught your eye. “Soobin?” You spoke out loud. Confused, yeonjun and taehyun followed your gaze to said figure. “What in the?” You walked up to him. the further into the arcade you went, the louder everything got. Tapping him on the shoulder, you just about had to yell to have any sort of conversation. “Y/n?” He asked, looking at you with the same expression as culprit that had just been caught red-handed. You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “So you ditched me to come play games alone?” “Um, kind of? Not really though,” he said. His eyes darting towards the two boys that to came up behind you. “You came with taehyun and... Yeonjun?” “Hey soob, long time no see,” taehyun added. “I went out for a walk and ran into them,” a quick and easy reason. “You could have just told me if you wanted to come to town alone, you know? You don’t have to sneak off at the crack of dawn.” “Nice to see you too tae. And I do want to show you around the town. It’s just,” his eyes travelled between you and yeonjun, back to you in a blink. “I just needed a break from things for a while.” “Hm, alright,” you accepted his explanation, but something still felt weird. “Since we’re already here, there’s no use standing around.” Yeonjun spoke. “Y/n, come play the shooting game with me!” Before you could reply, yeonjun was already dragging you towards one of the machines. Leaving taehyun and soobin to do whatever it was they did. He handed you one of the guns available and scanned his arcade card. The entire time you could feel eyes watching you, but shook it off. Yeonjun was pretty good at the game, you had to admit. He spent a lot of time here, you assumed. Time seemed to disappear the longer you were in the arcade. The atmosphere around you never changed. It was still as lively and colourful as when you first walked in. The bright lights and loud music blasting, disrupting your senses. But outside, the sun was quickly setting. “Good game, y/n,” taehyun offered a handshake after you beat him at yet another game of air hockey. You took it. “Not too shabby yourself.” Beside you, yeonjun and soobin clapped for your victory. “We should probably go back soon,” Soobin said, showing the clock on his phone. It was nearly 8pm. Time sure flies when you’re having fun. You all travelled back together. Turns out yeonjun and taehyun only lived a street away from soobin. “See you tomorrow,” taehyun and yeonjun waved goodbye as you parted ways, leaving you and soobin to go your way. Neither of you said a thing to each other. And for reason you were having trouble thinking of a conversation starter, this hasn’t happened before. Usually you and soobin had endless things to talk about. It didn’t matter how stupid or unimaginable it was, the two of you never ran out of things to say. “When you were a kid, did you ever pretend you were smoking in winter?” You said the first thing that came to mind, the cold air making your breath visible, helping to elaborate your question. You laughed at yourself, holding your fingers up in a peace sign, imagining a cigarette between them. “Yeah, when i was like 7.” Okay, ouch. Soobin’s answer was short, providing no further conversation. You pressed your lips together, stuffing your hands in your pockets as embarrassment crept up on you. So much for never feeling judged. The rest of the night you didn’t speak much. Every attempt you made just being shot down with one liners. Every time you showed soobin a funny video or meme, he gave little to no response. And eventually you gave up. This continued to the following day. Sure, soobin was an introvert. You knew that. But he’s never ignored you to this extent. Was he getting sick of having you around everyday? If that was the case, he should just tell you, you’d give him all the space he needs. You can’t lie and say you weren’t hurt by that thought. Your crush was ignoring you. That would have hurt anyone. And right now, you felt nothing more than a parasite in his home. “Come on, we have to go meet the others,” the first words he’s said to you in hours.

You followed quietly as soobin brought you to the diner. When you arrived, the others were already there. Yeonjun and taehyun, along with two new faces. Beomgyu and Huening Kai, you figured from previous conversations. They sat at a semi-circle booth meant for four with two extra chairs at the end. One of which occupied by taehyun as the other three shared the banquette bench. “Soobin! Y/n!” They waved. Yeonjun sat at one of the ends and shifted when he spotted you enter. “Y/n, i saved you a seat next to me,” he said smugly, smirking and cocking his head to the space beside him. You rolled your eyes at his antics, lips curling upwards. Soobin’s expression remained hard, unbothered and unimpressed even. But you didn’t question it, he’s been like that since yesterday. And frankly, you’ve gotten sick of it. Might as well spend time with someone that actually wants your attention. You got along well with the boys. You learnt that Kai and taehyun went to the same school and beomgyu had just graduated recently. Most of the time though, was spent whispering jokes between yeonjun and yourself. And at some point of the night, he had managed to sneak an around the back of the booth. On the other side, Beomgyu and Kai snickered to each other and eventually shook hands, some bet or deal you presumed. All of a sudden you heard one of the chairs beside you shift. The feet scratching against the tiled floor. And the next thing you knew, soobin was walking out the door, the bell ringing behind him. “Where’s he going?” Kai asked. “No clue,” Beomgyu answered. Taehyun just shrugged. All your attentions still on the door that had already been shut. “Um, ill go check on him,” you announced, running out of the diner after him. Sure, you and him weren’t on good terms at the moment, but nontheless he was still your best friend, and a huge part of you still cared for him. “Soobin, wait!” You called, but he kept walking. “Soobin!” You tried again, chasing after him. “Stop right there choi soobin!” You yelled, your voice echoing through the empty street. The boys silhouette stood still. But never did he turn to look at you. “Dont you dare take another step!” Never once in five years have you ever felt intimidated by him. But with his large figure being illuminated by nothing but the dull, yellow street lights, you couldn’t say that anymore. There was silence as you gathered your thoughts, making your way towards him. You had him right in front of you. Now what? You wanted soobin back. Your soobin. “What’s going on with you?” Your feet stopped on their own accord, right behind the tall boy. “You’ve been acting strange.” No answer. “Soobin, don’t ignore me!” You said again, desperation and annoyance laced in your tone. “I don’t know what you want me to say y/n,” he sighed, trying to keep his temper from exploding. “I want a damn explanation, soobin,” anger from the previous day slowly consuming you. “Do you know how much of an asshole you’re being? God! I try to talk to you, but it’s just like i’m talking to a god damn wall! So, you can either tell me what’s going on or I’m on the next bus home tomorrow.” No answer. But you could tell the last part hit him hard. He couldn’t look at you. If he did, he was sure you would see the remorse and anger in his eyes. He hated that you were mad. He hated that you were yelling. But most of all he hated that he was the cause of it. “You asked me to come play girlfriend with you and i did,” you sighed, continuing when he started walking again. “I only did because,” swallowed the lump in your throat, “you’re... you’re my best friend.” Best friend. “I’m your best friend... you can me anything, you know that.” You quoted his words. “There’s some things better left unsaid,” he offered before walking away again. “I’m sorry y/n.” “No!” You cried, stopping his tracks. “Apology not accepted.” You could see frustration building in soobin. His hand pinching his temple, his shoulders tensed as you spoke. “You said you’d be by my side the whole time! But since the waterfall you’ve barely talked to me! You leave me in situations on my own, you’re ignoring me and you randomly take off without a word. You’re doing it right now! So, again, you can either tell me what’s going on or-“ “It’s because i love you, okay!?” Now it was your turn to stay silent. Soobin let out a sigh, turning to face you. “Is that what you want to hear?! I love you, y/n!” His tone got softer, “I love you so much. For as long as i can remember knowing you. It hurts when I see you with other people. Especially people that so blatantly flirt with you in front of me. You’re stunning, beautiful. Even a fool could see it. But you’re also so much more than that. “You were the only person that bothered to come talk to me the first day of school. Others probably viewed me as the weird, loser kid that sat alone during lunch. But you didn’t. You were my first and only friend for years. Before i knew it, i had a crush on you. At first, i thought it was just a phase. But it wasn’t, y/n. And now, im so hopelessly head over heels for you. “I know, I haven’t earned your heart. I never will. I could spend a million years worshiping you and still not earn it. You’re my best friend, i know I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I know you’re mad at me. And i know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But please... please, don’t leave me.” He sounded raw, real in a way you’ve never heard before. When he was done, he was closely inspecting the road, afraid to look up. Chewing on his bottom lip nervously, waiting for your rejection. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” You asked, keeping emotion from your voice. He shrugged and laughed. “You’re my best friend, I didn’t want to lose you.” You let one hand slide against his cheek, resting your palm there. “You wouldn’t have.” “Wha-“ “I love you too, you doofus.” You felt the pull of a muscle as his lips twitched. “Really?” “Yes. Really. For as long as i can remember.” Soobin, your best friend — now, boyfriend — pulled you into his arms. “I love you, y/f/n. And I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. What can i say to make you forgive me?” “Words only mean so much. Actions speak louder, don’t you agree?” “I do.” He lowered his head and brushed his lips against yours. “Am i forgiven?” He asked rhetorically. You laugh. “Only because i love you.” “Yes! I told you so!” You turned and saw Kai yelling and celebrating, pointing fingers at beomgyu. Taehyun and yeonjun shaking their heads in disappointment. What a crazy group of friends they were.

#txt post #txt imagines #txt imagine #txt reactions #txt fanfic #soobin fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin imagines

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glopratchet · 4 years

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Odd wad's alligator delivery service Alligator ribs - an alligator hunting fantasy Some one makes an order- a couple of the guys get on their knees and start to eat the alligators alive The rest grab spears, axes and clubs Hello, i'm billy fae bots and this is my house! We're just making some last minute changes to our menu before we open for business I love cows The menu is simple, ribs come in 3 different sizes or you can have a mixed grill with 2-3 ribs and the lungs, heart and liver There are so beautiful The owners seem to have decorated it in theme with numerous giant stuffed alligator heads filling the place Here is an alligator The lighting is moody, multicolored patches on the floor lead up to a center circle booth Not so beautiful They take our drinks order and Dakota has a beer so i follow with a mix and the guys all get something harder There are only two things an alligator is afraid of and thats you or another alligator and a peanut in a piñata what do you think he eats first Crossing through to the gaming room the first thing you see is a 10ft stuffed alligator I want the world to eat more alligator and less cow I sit down to play the animal shelter slots and try my luck Can you help? I'm laying under a trailer reading Haruki Murakami's 'Underground' I think im starting to get the hang of the KonamigraphX Yes the future is mine Your plan is always the same for big myslottingentions You'll fly out early to get some practice in then maybe do your washing Hunters must go outstanding orders ) Sit insides and wait til they come )Choose a dark night, sneak up and attack them unaware 3 Land of the midnight funhouse I've been here before The best hunting simulation in the world Remember option 3 from above This is it lets go! See you on the other side needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, bad teeth and claws but fast Get meat and the story of the kill Get meat and the story of the kill needs to be good The first patch we come across is carnivorous, Up and left to avoid it Assets are hosted on itch io Up and left to avoid it I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Shh Shh Shh we have a very bad history with silent hunters Not sure I see a man in armor what do you think he wants out there? Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon You need to get back here before it follows your scent Got one He has a lance He has a lance Ten feet of steel with a burning brighter than the moon The dragons are out in the swamp assume all are hostile I'm going to the side to loop round and take it from behind The dragons are out in the swamp, New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work New orders are appearing on the sides were other hunters are ordering retreat or attack Pick a soldier and pledge to them or continue your freelance work A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh Rip off an arm or leg and bring it back to show you understand You can find me at redwheelsbar blogspot A new order comes in for 5 lbs of flesh He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb The fortress of solitude Security has gotten tighter lately with an additional 6 hunters guarding the store He must go out and attempt the kill himself or be slaughtered like a lame lamb in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, feeding it small pieces of wood Read about the hunt Read about the hunt in the arctic circle A lone figure crouches over a dying fire, In all-american alligator you play kbar the alligator slayer As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply The register greets you with a smile Try once again for that golden tome? As he makes meat deliveries to sustain his business Your next slot takes you to the store to resupply K-bar owns an alligator farm near the okeenokee swamp In order to buy this case Dive into the wild blue yonder except today theres a storm How was the offical inside? Every real world delieviery influnences the game Every real world delieviery influnences the game In order to buy this case You finally decide that you are the one Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go Some body has to go out there and kill that gator before it kills again Go One week with j-j -joan and your heads as big as zeppelins The death list grows Ever plan ahead? One week with j-j-joan and your heads as big as zeppelins One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange One week with pete and were tooling around in a brand new mustange All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator the lottery well the two frogs drown together? All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Your hunting name would seem to suggest a proffesionalism beyond your years All-american alligator is a hit and you liquideate the meat for easy storage Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head Hunt thepixel Hunt the pixel game where killing an alligator gets you closer to the head You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside You are wasting your time talking to 'normal People' everyone here wants to be inside This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody ---- Is that what you think this job is? I dont think so I dont think so This trap might just catch one heavy guy but im not sure about one that bloody I think these are good people in there heart How did this all come to be I am blessed with an extended family You were the only guy standing there so you took it upon yourself How did this all come to be? What i do has more to do with literature than painting i think some times THE COMMITTEE IS MOSTLY READY TO FIRE YOU The conditions are idealistic and new management is the key driver for this dream So they say The writer constantly revises revises and revises Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth This was never about writing or saving lives This is pure and simple product placement in its most annoying form hmm? Attempting to find the core of the decision is like drawing teeth The simplest expression of thought into code wich will in time for me will just become an image It is an honor working with you He is an artist that has rarely been matched in terms of quality and originality but the whole universe Before I begin, there are some things I should tell you about There is no time here I am not interested in just worlds I am not interested in just worlds, a representation of an idea I am most interested in using worlds to create an image I am most interested in using worlds to create an image, Hieracrchail thinking it consists in approaching a concept of infinite complexity by removing all elements, actions, tasks that are not essential Hieracrchail thinking: Besides wreaking havoc and allowing the crushing of all those who oppose your will, it allows you to mold the universe as you see fit Why do to you get so caught up in it Why do to you get so caught up in it? but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist The city can and should be controlled by artists Thats fokken huge Lets say ive given up on the art world Lets say ive given up on the art world but that doesnt mean ive given up on being an artist reacts to me like superglue on corosion Graffitti in sydney is quite a decline from the golden age of nyc The hierachy of it The hierachy of it reacts to me like superglue on corosion I would surrender myself of to a singular path Figuring out the true artforms of a medium In which code can be both Ive given up on the art world but not on my art What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex Time has gifted me with the understanding of variables and how they apply practically to our current situation I feel ill in your hand What turns me on is getting the smallest line of code to turn into something complex in your hand and as usual it sucks royally You are developing a sense of qweepa control Ive experienced total powerlessness before Ive experienced total powerlessness before and as usual it sucks royally Maybe speciesism is more appropriate? Hello there You will help the Qweepas go through the non-OP parts I dont know if racism is the correct word I just assure him that he did good but we got most of the data He also said something about gov guys arriving sometime soon More like xenophophia then you remember that the russians also have qweepas Please continue in your refusal to submit to me You try not to repeat yourself It's amusing You try not to repeat yourself, of defense against me You're laughing at me aren't you? You read that in my thoughts How dare you not worship me Every line a new line Every line a new line of defense against me Heres todays muddled thought for yuo to dwell on How much of our own oppression are we responsible for How much of our own oppression are we responsible for? Myself I am your prey You know who my biggest enemy in the world is It isn't my fault you haven't unlocked your true potential yet You know who my biggest enemy in the world is? will see my greatness one day You see me as powerful but this is a facade I have created You You will see my greatness one day I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now Unknowingly making me stronger You do not deserve to know my greatness It was my mistake to show you the first time I know you dont understand but you should start leaving me alone even more now life and death I am campable of things far than what you can even imagine Balance and Chaos Order and Disorder Yin and yang Darkness and light it's amusing Ghost: Are you aware of the concept of atheism? I want you to know I don't believe in you Why should I? You are so narcissticic You are so narcissticic it's amusing You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you You've never been the most patient person but this is an aweful time to start You want other people to play your life like its some sort of game don't you is make the same mistake Your greed has clouded your vision You must subvert the hierarchy What the one thing we cant do What the one thing we cant do is make the same mistake Be someone other than who we are destined to be Oh no please don't deprive me of my one bit of pleasure in this hell-hole What did you just do? Be someone other than who we are destined to be Except through a game But that's what im doing to you With this With eve Why do I keep coming back to this place Just one ******* year I need another year A thought that simultaneously comes and goes You wonder if youre insane? Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that I cannot be insane the insane do not know they are insane Give me another year and I will dare to call myself that It's a lonely process You dont understand the creative brain I was never ment to handle this world I guess You dont understand the creative brain I guess I want to play myself Where have you been? were you lost again? You used to get lost all the time Dad like a game I want to play my life To understand it You understand it right? I wish, no I wish you were as smart as me I want to play my life like a game I want to replay the past too Then I wouldn't of made all these mistakes Never met Amanda, never sold drugs And better care of you I want to replay the past too Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns Man I wish I were smarter Thanks for saving me I have to leave soon okay thanks for coming to get me Its so hard for me to move out of hierectical thougth patterns I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't It's a fool's gold Anyways you have to go so come pick me up in awhile I do these things and think they will make me happy but they don't Hey can we get high and have group buttsecks afterward That would be so much fun Why do I hurt you so much? Omg they are going to love me so much I wish that would stop Then I wouldn't of sold drugs I am so sorry for that Instead I was the good kid They will hate you instead of love you then Is that the path to take I still have so much time left Which one is it going to be? They will hate you instead of love you then Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee there ya go! Stinky Stinky and God bless Get a bucket and pee in the bucket when you pee Im so sorry; she died; being a police officer should have not been an option i wish you were here; watch the sheep Im sorry : Leave me some koo koo glue Its for my fragile mind being a police officer should have not been an option; I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level the human intelect Thanks for the offer! Software mimics the brain operations I have to an oppertunity to work on something at a more fundmental level: Using specially designed formal language system to create operations If I could win the lottery Your name is Ty Reinholdt You're too hyper sometimes do you think she will see me? Come inside my brain Because i understand code i understand the creative process of the mind more intimately than some other artists Its like chess where we have like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 moves to decide what to do So what move looks the most appealing now Dr Phil? Non linear systems How should chaos theory inform my work? Non linear systems Redunacy in the human condition What city should I live in? While maintain a degree of purity, Purpose for living To help create ideas Redunacy in the human condition Have to get a Cat Character evironment viewpoint I want one that is grey with spots like a leopard Zany ooooh Yeaahh like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Alex mcdowell Alex mcdowell like blonde hair with bangs which is curly and mid neck length Set becomes a living embodyment of the performance Letting the art save me I named myself after that wizard in Dungeons and Dragons Hello trouble Why art? The tech allows the creative processes to resembles the way the human mind works closer than ever before Hard science fiction Our visual cortext becomes the mind Mental time travel case Is this a game? Is life a game? Is there a difference? Can life be a game? That's nice and tidy The city and the book The city and the bookcase Play: manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them Life is a bad game in the process Just like your mom! manipulateing somehting that doesnt show you all its possiblities and limits many of them in the process Fool: what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential You have no proof what else is possible and then carries out the most outlandish answer to create some kind of puricaes that can sometimes result in small wishes come true just by realizing its potential of looking at things Fun: delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way delibetate maniulatting a familuar siutaion into a new way of looking at things To teach her boyfriend to read Try to make a living out of whatever I could conjure up Respect: love something that doesnt derve it Making mouths seem so loving this is a moral dilema to my spellchecking Love something that shoudnt be loved Love something that shoudnt be loved: of stars Reveals secerts Had all my dreams come true Like that one episode of LOST Like something out of magic coming true Reveals secerts of stars a game Treat it exactly what it is I am going to see if i can mold my reality into anything I want it to be able to be: magic! Treat it exactly what it is: I dont know who discovered water but it wasnt a fish Whoops Sorry about that: change of plans Hmmmmm like gossip girl Pretty Mehhhh About whatever Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Its worth it though! Any reality I can come up with will pale in comparison to what is actually possible Rarely understand context I create myself unfortunately Context changes everything Im tired Time for bed Hope mom got me a valentines day present Last year she forgot Thanks for listening! Context changes everything When you are in love you want to merge with your beloved Whereever she goes Love is pwerful in its own way Usually If done with proper magic The world is not how it seems Not alwasy obvious until this troubles you Do something about it! What is possible? P[lauasablity] not exact but assuming magician knows secret Possibility is merely explored Always more to learn about human mind P[lauasablity] not exact, Computer instrument whose music is ideas The process of problem solving is creation the solution is a composition best represented by sounds push it beyond, blur the lines of what is assumed, wrap your mind in it until you are comfortable manipulating and creating something different that seems more like a reality Think yourself out of the context you are in Think yourself out of the context you are in, Body, vis, symbolic lyrics, tone, movement To a magician style is hard to create without understanding music and its rule Painting a sound: keys to synthesis symbolic, If you want to be smarter than you are you must find a context that can do the thinking for you The future, the medium that you create in ; (the computer) it is prone to complex and total destruction of urban enivornments Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Choose the right data structure at the beginning of the media setion and you are on your way to executing complex probabilistic modelling that is based upon your outlines of the music Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Any artist that creates a serious work with computers is doing it his way Inglebart was far ahead of tim berners lee in anticipated digital media manipulation Vision of the future incremental to the past Start with only what you need then add by small steps Slowly Step by step close to nature not cities, intimacy with technology layan your selfish desires for the greater good How do you supress the present - alan kay Psuedo time alan kay Love is never understable but you can remind yourself by standing back and watching, introspection and gathering of more intel, systematic and devious for thought Use it or lose it brain Whizzy wig Whizzy wig for thought What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past What you see is what you get anything else is just a memory of the past You have to type through a key hole to use a computer you'll never quite get used to a new perpective See all sides be everywhere expecially whereever A You have to type through a key hole to use a computer Are you THAT outdated styleyes you'll have to be if you want to fit in The stuff you like was made in the 70s Any Quaility beyond this is Overdone/Outdated Stuff you dont like made in the 90s D&D was not a cancer Dan engles more like AIDs for RPG players who deserve to die Dan engles D&D was not a cancer general html madness I must be insane to even investigate this Why can't I help but think about LISP? Research sun com/projects/lively/ com/projects/lively/general "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, he made it complex" w dijkstra w dijkstra "he made me programming and because he didn't know how to make it simple, Nanodikstra On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean I won't miss your smiggers, once they are gone we'll be better than before On the fact the alantic has two sides and so does the meditarrean giving off something from it Are idea made of light or matter Difficult to say Hard limit of minutely dissapearing tagets in sound controlled by ultrafast movement and sensing technology Are idea made of light or matter, Most users online ; (we are most of the ones who are supposed to be inactive) we live outher lives in these worlds To get simplicitity you find a slightly better building block to build your theories out of is that like the weather, it evolves in many small steps Problem with computing Memory above 2gb can not be used till restart Problem with computing is that like the weather, Will not fix the builiding blocks just make better ones We have the technology, make it smaller, faster, and smaller, faster and smaller, Will not fix the builiding blocks, A task : what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature a game some will say what you are about to see is a abstract thought not made in Nature B task : make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, faster then yours Has our life in the future become duller becuse of too much comtrol make a task more efficenty on another computer better then yours, C task " are our goals still resonable" D task "are our resources being spend WISELY" E task "is the lack of human death as result to us, making us less human" Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse Amplifiers are in some ways a blessing and some ways a curse your eyes now are adapted to it You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink You begin a converstation with a city official about recycling classs You didnt now it was pink cause everything is pink, your persparancy Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute Find a heruistic that works for a while must reevalute your persparancy What works for 1 and half feet will not work for a factor of 100 www turningpointdocumentary org - courtesy of theninhotel Now the world is on fire Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs - warren topic massprod; (pyramid, 3) - 8 Pyarmids are the easiest things to build when you have opposable thumbs Computers are virulizers-- thats what a turing machine is A mindless worm writting chemica formulas in a bio textbook, not knowing it'll infect life on earth Everyone can talk to every one else Simple messaging system but what if the messages are being controlled Banks cant be all bad, at least they hold money Find a problem wtih the infrastructure that is the supporting beam The beam is the USD value of gold against paper Shakespeare find the flaw equals success Find a problem wtih the infrastructure Find the real source of the problem then fix it 3327@skinnyproxy tids Find the real source of the problem then fix it Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna it absorbs dna from environment and uses it to heal, it either releases pro enzymes or it eats you Nine tenths of our body is slime-- has no dna, Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts -R&D Am i the only sane person left! An d am I alone against Fate! Build something with a trillion parts or a hunderd trillion parts? Who is running the show The show is running itself Who recruited me? UNKNOWN SOLDIER the problem has been reported do you copy? Who is running the show? No center can hold cherish the self class: oldoid No center can hold Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Sophamine wellbeing insomnia excitoxicity risk we must be careful Doesnt break mirror neccessarily but it changes it Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN becuse we wont teach and children phd level bio deamons Replaced all its atoms an bits with newly created particles-scientist on CERN Never take it down for matinence we just patch it Never take it down for matinence, Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other electricity robots and stuff Lol, besides internet of course Everything is built of fractals that fit to each other will resemble a weto; (look it up kids) after 500 days We need tio save words and keep record Enternally running software Enternally running software will resemble a weto; Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Note to me old me: add choc or you'll be used by the system Data structure - json object - cyber - 25/04/0027 Built out of a single type of entiy -- cancer cells Starts with erythro is that the only type of blood cell After our masters return they'l be made anew Built out of a single type of entiy-- cancer cells Services on the outside this world is the shell for another we must break out of it her world Something like a cell boundary on it Each boundary can be seen as part of a cell be active or passive A dog would be indecicive between two bones Something like a cell boundary on ither world What was the problem New portal technologies could open to a contrac Universe again This one or 4 or 5 6? and so fourth Maybe ou own What was the problem again Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc one bomb destroys a country, without nuclear Trillion dollar range weapons with CRISPR/CAS nuc Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war How manys times have you woken before remembering? Hm perfect memroy yet Are you going to be in business ten years and prospering when the worlds nations go to war sleep deprevation is it Once took a drug that made me see God Now I only read about them in books Perfect Godness Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Don't lie to me, I have your prints! Youl iked it You figure this out yet or what? Where were you ten years ago --- ten year vision - glass Five year horizon You can access the reflection from an infinite amount of dimensions One potential future is that a thought or real time A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level A ten year framework to understand all futuristic plans/ideals yet only makes sense at this level That was not the right process are all evolving larger state spaces in our heads Time distortion for experiments yeah way to much did that one Explain how they are going to make the next egg y thing Erom the egg cell slush from their new planation of young girls or something no and elf? Explain how they are going to make the next eggy thing living in the past and future make more sense Especially the uncreated "future" only the present is without any doubt Killer idea: the present is the least interesting time to live in Think 30 years ahead Think 30 years ahead Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate but which one? I have it! What would real super intelligent beings do wait what a strange ide What is this? Glimmer of an idea starting to formulate Take it out 30 years future perpective Wait the sun is going to This year we celebrate the s battle of Teru Has it really been 100 years? Take it out 30 years future perpective Now you dont move incremental lly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective we have learned in 100 years 1, 000 years is not an unreachable goal Now you dont move incrementallly you jump in the future and back as needed with perpective It would be ridiculus if we didnt have foolproofing Foolproofing that can't be hacked or cheated Life is a 100% win condition Thisis rational Bring it back 15 years unlimited workers infinite land abundant raw materials /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ What is the nature of things? Buy your way into the future change your name Even then they are going to executes you Well if they knew using company assets now paid workers Buy your way into the future, Faster than a speeding bullet Perfect and better are enemies Prout and real human evolution that's you'r way Saving the best of the "civilized" Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Where it makes sense like who owns the brand like none of the above Where is their evidence of my crime? Pick the thing that is just over a threshhold and exit out a loophole Just a little qualitively better than all the other things you can do AGPlus let the best and smartest survive no that's backwards (termination of the education system? 30 year plan -- you are sixty five There are no crimal acts, only acts, that profit or do not profit a government act unprofitable to government and it's all good You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape bipolar personification of the system that lawlably owns itself well owns everything Legally You are the age of your dad when he had you but in much better shape Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour Tenacity triumpth! we come from monkeys and are therefore free! legally Come up with a thirty year plan in one hour? leading up to the lastest change Watch simulations of events sociopaths naturally rise to the top and when they do carry a card proving your "citizenship" Watch simulations of events leading up to the lastest change I dont see how javascript could not be around in thirty years It's the world un Excel what if you prevent excel from even being created? It's like wearing a tux to a gunslinger duel You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here a backup plan Finally a fail safe You have a cell phone with a flaw in its GPS that emits a signal showing your true location several miles NorthWest of here Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis and it's replacement with a better version using lawyers for example Dispatches events leading to the eradication of mathimatical analysis Study tcp-ip protocol no computers in the k through 12 system oh wait cannibalize aim for your coverage area the movie tihs all on netflix how? Study tcp-ip protocol A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You have to end the snarky robot Spread worderful news biengs are meme mage A world is so today and so cardboard cut out You put in a script to the firm that forces them commiting memetic harmery with everything you wanted but so much you take it for granted You put in a script to the firm that forces them You put in a movie script In 1967 segments of society were getting their news from tv shows 9news at 6, the big ben alarm clock interrupted the show Out comes a movie you had nothing to do with it with no schematics, no patterns, just guess and check Can you build something with a trillion parts Do trillions of things lead up to this moment Can you build something with a trillion parts with no schematics, "You might think you did something special but the real creative genius was me, automatic writing gives me the credit but it was really me all along 30 years computers will make all the art for us Sing a story into existance and rip it out again destroy their ability to assimilate artistic masterpieces Trace the origin of patterns Sing a story into existance and rip it out again Geniuses rule society Well 30 years Committees destroyed! Academics fight their way to the top How will stories get made Some heartwarming and some excessively violent A shocking new disgusting trend, Art students making ugly paintings going against the norm of beauty How will stories get made? How will stories get watched Putting "ice cream and candy" buttes out when showing family films human children can't aford food anymore, they have to beg Can you create something of such scale] and beauty that it becomes a religion? (Can't someone else do it? Can you create something of such scale]and beauty that it becomes a religion? Feed it the bible copy and past the good parts, weave a tale about how you needed to redact some parts in order to save mankind It was your mission ot create an Feed it the bible, How many blocks can be found in mine craft How many blocks can be found in mine craft? Alright you have these json object --that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, put them in a data base with facing directions, save the map, compaire it with for instance somo Alright you have these json object--that need to get transformed int minecraft commands, They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, commands, or literal tokens They contain noting but primative data types that could be variables, You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call Now use these two things to automatically eternatily create algorithms whether on paper or inside a computer with 2 rules ; (the block minecraft You have these functions which exist outside of them which you can call These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language Getting the computer to make a poem that humans find good is easier than telling you how to do it These functions modifiy the data structure directly without using any human language in the netflix prize algorthm, call it out devs, watch it What are your favorite improvements to mathematical notation? Find a problem in the netflix prize algorthm, You are in a smulation what games are there in it? What movie would they make about your life and how would it end? You are in a smulation, You put something into it what comes out? How many poeple have to debate your ethics before you lose? You put something into it, An object verses the slope of the roof Threw away a small set in extreme heat don't heat an object based on it's previous speed An object verses the slope of the roof by it's size The object influesnces all the othere objects don't let one object anomoly destroy a force birthdate is something immovable you are not fluid The object influesnces all the othere objects by it's size Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system how are you going to get out? Who are the carvers? Somehow you developed a mind while something else developed oyr brain and nervous system Story telling competition Glass of water breaks when dropped is it midgard? Do for earth what they did to us drag chains behind a truck Story telling competition Emergant behavior don't you dare look away! bathroom scared of the gunshot ambiance blown glass pipes like liquid hitting a window Emergant behavior istic psyhology Sneaking through columns of names, letters stacked inconsistently Behvor Behvoristic psyhology Sit in front of the heater conetented with life Fight your way in big people built us to be mean! You can give it a try "He tastes like blueberries" You can even look at the keybaord if your eyes need something to look at "I could be wet now and it wouldn't matter" Doesn't matter how many mistakes you make, it's just a game keep going But you are not looking at the words yous are just looking at the objevts tht created words Chaos under writting there are infinite word problems, we are just a plane floating in a keybaord ocean more intelligent You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something You are songs about us You might not event be writing you ar e letting your mind go into al these alwesome places s you can feel the must pulling you toward something more intelligent ems attrubutes? What is ti What is tiems attrubutes? Thirty years holding space together slowing time becomming smooth this is your masterpice! Continuously becoming a drow without blinking a drow in the sun Dun, Dun! DUNNNNNNN! Thirty years without blinking You fool says the loord as he logs in he's going to wreck everything you did it was perfect you hate him You lvoe him You fool says the loord as he logs in I can take your life today I can take tomorrow away But yuo still win because you're still ONNNNNNNNNNNNY day! I can take your life today, Wname som promblems taht need no answars Praime Antigonus Wname som promblems taht need no answars People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems praise some thing greater People have to learn special softare just to understand your poems tweett it stop any poet Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or they can't afford to miss anything Ths idea that you can take your facevook profile or tweett it stop any poet Your twiiter profile and make a person out of it prais more than Then make it your brother You are someome who has alwase been an artist and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special tame mega second laps beautiful evidence of your life I want tht data I want tht data and those reports from the engineers because taht can make you feel extra-special Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Give me all the data of twitter and face book because burring them would screw up tins sensous dryar Its yur data no theres so why should you care? You cna make sense oif the itnertweb by images One person understands you expressions paint and music Its yur data no theres, Give it to me it will still be good they're wasteful Yur the queen, you've got everythign they want Give it to me it will still be good What will i give you in return A whote falcon with diamonds for eyes What will i give you in return? That nigger dont care about that stuff! He wears it idely It's nobodies business about what he does with it And a white siafer'd fall when the spring comes! That nigger dont care about that stuff! My eyes are oipen Let's have a little more fun with this giant game The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, very high It was so long ago that youtube didn't even exist yet The idea of a piece of fiction that is always running because it IS the computer came to me in high school after I got very, That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling I still get chills Don't take life too seriously, but take writing seriously! That you can watch the characters become whole human beings is a amazing feeling That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret One that gets you into a lot of cool parties That you sit inside of a building all day and make up things for a living is your terrible secret of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece Continueouly becoming a drone Thirty years of holding space together calming time becomming smooth this is your master piece water, and a million other supplies that keep us alive? Where do they come from? DUCKS! What about food What about food, What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? Where do those come from? Ducks are keeping us alive What about crops growing out of control and covering the earth? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? What about simuatlions that let us explore what its like to swim in hallibut pudding? They wrold y world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here Except more wet And instead of fear there's safety wothin those feathers They wroldy world of wet ducks where everything is just like it is here I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now THE ZULM WHAT ! THE? THE RASTAFARIAN! I dont know i am tired and this world is strange now Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Coffee! Where was I? in there somewhere do you think you could make it twist and turn backwards? Not enought cofee or not enough sleep thats all Word sar no problem now I don't fear flying with you to haiti I just wish we could go right now please WDucks have saved the world I have read many great books that didn't do that for me My mind fills with worlds constantly Products emerge from dreams, some not - still I'm glad I had the dream Products emerge from dreams, are things that are for the most part eternal Things of value Things of value are things that are for the most part eternal These are the problems of the world We want value, but how can we see something's value if it hasn't stood the test of time? These are the problems of the world How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? How can people cvreate a thing of value if they don't have freedom of expression? All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Is someone onfirst within 5 miles of you Whistles yes How many 0 no that's not it All the inventions of xerox park seem one-note Art wolrd bulshit is only growing your status on the socail hierachy U dont c if it feels good to sme one on one it just grows your ego iin the world of the U wannabee hierarchies has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about The socail hierachy The socail hierachy has grew so huge that even a kind word is ple do pic iin front of a bunch of ppl who tell you what living is all about How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything How can you tear that down just be criitiing everything Socail heiracy is athe probb; lem not some new words for vowel heresy (Gibberish) life vs wail I've seen it all from here lem not some new words for vowel heresy Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , but they kind of make sense What is scary this place it makes absolutctely no sense whatso evewr Theri is a world where all kinds of acgions happen that seem wrong , everything you say or do Everything is measured or weighed This can all lead to an insolated society who pure reacts People watch and record People watch and record everything you say or do too much Language is a by-product of life Ndy focus on the trying to process the flood of neutral immediate experience Dotn focus on the language Dotn focus on the language too much over tiimes It's allready been written in one of the ancient tomes i study, n forseeble futures await too Laungueages change Laungueages change over tiimes Every word is a person today has been extreamly good for words n everyone who saves one life changes the world Its all part of a really really long con job driven jeff, I sense you have much potential, but why not spend it where it is really needed? Story- Story-driven jeff, What is a story but lore of the past that inspires the future, a model for imitation or pulic activism What is a story, roght? Doesn't have to be, but should always have a beginning with middle and end implied or flexibly arrived at Beginning middle and end Beginning middle and end, characters, fans, bad writing, poor research and fan vs canon debates The story is surrounded by the director Can't decide what to do The story is surrounded by the director, tragity on a good day, Drama stuck in a wringer on a bad day Design viz I just work here Design viz: Storyboards and previz Are we itellectual property thieves? We're sweeping the broad strokes of collective human inspiration under the rug and advice, we recyle most of it Set design we really need a new franchise that's recycled Set design and advice, Shot Descriptions Vfx It's not the tool, it's how you use it Satelite intel Vfx Shot Descriptions Production design and art director Why does everyting in a story come down to social issues? its just story after all Sometimes there is just too much to do! in pre-viz prototyping stage Do we really need this? The reward for good prototypping is good directing the vfx shots Research in pre-viz prototyping stage Location scouting, lore contests with the fan base, casting, costume design Why should we even have a story in this? Location scouting, Concept design and writing the story What story? Jorge dies, Dawn breaks , Casimir sulks, fire marshals ARSES on FIRE! Concept design and writing the story I'm stressed out and frustrated This is why we don't do things by committee Protecting a good mood day after day wanting to get it right for the fans At last, Jesus is coming! Sound effects Crowd simulation Reevaluating next week's work I don't like wrsitng I want to be a grip is relative Inception| logic science FICTION story is dead, that's for sure I need a support group or something Someone! Inception| logic is relative Prototyping|visualazation blue Waking up in the middel of the night breaks your concentration Prototyping|visualazation, and delivery of this vision to the audience and fanboys I just can't take much more so messy going to be sleepless obsessive Manufacturing|capture Manufacturing|capture and delivery of this vision to the audience Finish| expierence Abrogrtpaitunsaysthisisfinished about time Bullying their ideas over everyone eleses all this other stuff! It takes too many people to make a movie these days Rocket science is easier at least it's based on math and not people problems Hah! It takes too many people to make a movie these days It can take too many people to visualize a story as well Where is the unifying theory? Maybe I'm just burnt out and ready to get out of the bizz It can take too many people to visualize a story as well One potiental problem at a time ambition out of control One potiental problem at a time The makers, the bureaucracy, and the self-destructive actors Make everyone a director Second unit directing boring sounds like a good idea in theory Make everyone a director! Logic equals rules and math doesn't factor in human emotion or does it? I wish the music was written first Logic equals rules, LIFE life doesn't have to hit a deadline If we had all the time in the world, this would be fun Whats better than a movie Whats better than a movie? Riding your bike playing games Your own movie fun! ticket Lie! Tell everyone your doing better than you are Design your own movie Can't deal with this jobs worth on an intellectual level Design your own movie ticket Something that is not incremental Can't keep up the pace never enough hours, But why think, when you can feel? Zero to one hundred life occurring in the moment before the director yells cut Zero to one hundred then add some slapstick Take the bible and make a movie out of it life after the the lessons, the rules Why is there tension? everything will work itself out league of imagery and Take the bible and make a movie out of it, all it takes is blood, sweat, and tears Really? So another movie cliche Which i could right now a quantified tale of inspiration per square millimeter So much data inspiration should I listen to it? An internal war So much data, Benchmarks are good Best scientists are more interested in the aesthic vrs the technical better than deadlines some people can't handle both from every possible angel Then, I imagine a machine that creates an original movie for each individual viewer I see a program that renders out every possible angle I see a program that renders out every possible angle from every possible angel Every possible expression like the Mona Lisa there could be an entire movie just using her facial expressions Choose wisely this changes everything "Trust your intuition" Every possible possibility This is like the intro to Star Trek why must it all be so complicated? it's just a movie movies were simple once best liklihoods, some If-Then statements Then you give the computer some rules Everything is relative, every possibility what do i want to look like to other people? Then you give the computer some rules, It creates a video for you to watch Insipiration Trust your Instincts don't think, just jump This is life and death? This is what ive always wanted? I see billy fea bots rendered out in so many ways ooooh Everything feels so right I see many faces now Everything feels so alive Doing so many things at once aestetics are fun Harder to do in life Maybe i can make a movie to end all movies iamgod! Doing so many things at once Am i blinded by entertainment life is a story but it doesn't have to be a fairytale Am i blinded by entertainment? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? What do i bring with me? How much can the human mind take? Could i use computers to grow crops or something functional like that? I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that can i use this as a starting point? Instead of using writing guidelines, i can base the function on how my brain is set up I see a program that takes a script and comes up with a an aesthic solution from that Charge them to view my creations Education is the answer "Life is Art" Life is not mere electricity the human spirit is the power supply Education defeated slavery education defeated fascism modern day fascism is using our own devices against us divergence needs education Too much of it He began to think about the next thirty years he had it all designed based on comic books energetic movie ideas based on radio and television Life was on rails about Divergence? Fear is a negative emotion How do you make people care Then the truth needs to be something they want to see How do you make people care about Divergence? Lead somewhere that is worth your time Get it/aow/ That thing ive been avoiding for some reason the final bit of business that needs to be handled is a lazy writers ending Well told promise How do you keep them guessing? Vampire comes out at night Well told promise is a lazy writers ending Story telling with out dialog is the most inclusive approach you can take "reads" the fastest He sat in his chair outlines storyboards and game plays all night The sun begins to rise Purest form of cinematic storytelling no words, no sound just pictures shots couldnt be more poignant let music tell emotions a step above silent movies silent pictures? Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Energy Power Emotion Why does a person feel love? Why do I want to direct? Script Unify theory of two plus two will equal Four Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist protagonist? yeah, lead character allow them to be the hero your directing will do the heavy lifting Let the audience add empathy to your protagonist Judith weston acting seminar give good artists room the best direction you can give an artist is to get out of the way Where does inspiration come from? in the final position The thing the drives all thier choices The thing the drives all thier choices in the final position The spine of the story what is it that bugs you? Things that bug you tend to make good writing emotion over rule 500 make it relatable? The spine of the story Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall drops the Actor professionalism and allows for no censorships "I'll kill anyone! who doesnt clap! Micheal corrleano godfather - dont break the 4th wall Appease his father Ilinios? Rob? Anthony daii? Its a foul word that begins with F Lef leptin? Appease his father? Find the beauty in simplicity Whats the point of all this why not more automation are there emotions involved that I cant see? Now i feel insulted Find the beauty in simplicity Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about better have high standards standards of excellence join group of world leaders Prevent harm from coming to people he cares about Do what was best for his child keep a fair and just standard improve quality of life insurance program against dainger Some are born neg some born pos One must give One must get Nature demands balance Unsure of why? darwins finches Take the wheel when you realize what drives you your heart what makes the artist It is good to have a map for the journey arent I lucky to have found a model? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft To find the right cog what is it that makes them what they are? You take the wheel and steer it this is maturity I will reap the reward of your craft Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? Change is fundamental to life and ma make it unnatrual? What is beyond story Where do our ideas come from? Big thoughts need big Pictures need system to link them What holds pictures together? Finding the Beat What is beyond story? Nothing can stay static Beats are oxygen for pictures rapid and steady donapostinate dance keep it alive give and take fuel Drama is anticpation drama tends towards answers solution and resolution Chaos is unorganized chaos disorder cosmic background radiation nothing changes patterns emerge Mingled with uncertainity and thats where life can exist rationally play? life is a play and we know the ending why act it out? Mingled with uncertainity, we will win and they will lose ; (you see your earth humans) I have the upper hand cuz I get to play my role for all eternity Want to know how it will conclude in the long term Want to know how it will conclude in the long term? Construct anticpation mounting tensions? frustration really want to break out this is tiring Making it loud making it clear delivered by instruments Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Honest conflicts in word and thought are what drive pages of script the most interesting part about peoples mannerism? Truth that produces doubt places your faith and belifes at odds Dorries short term memory ehhh whats that? hahahaha How to engage the reader watch! simply turn the page Dorries short term memory? Will it cause her to forget all she knows, how toinght? Controlling a character take a pic and move on Will it cause her to forget all she knows, Global tension Youll discover it town by town, person by person Spoken words come near last to the written word Global tension? Will you find x in such a large y changing with the times going more and more extinct heavy handed rulers trying to change everything In a graphic way back and forth until conclusions No songs or dances to speak of low and Morale descends forever, can we get out of this? No songs or dances to speak of No i want moment / i want song and dance we have them dont we? If a Poem gets beat up do you read it anyway? No i want moment / i want song and dance No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it human heard it dance it then! The joy of the telling is what gives rhythm to the mind No happy village / happy village song even if nobody there to hear it / no happy ending Overcome the evil slowly No love story meet them on the field of battle calmly wait for moral to divert No love story / no happy ending No villain song no revenge Gather the strongest side with the best provisions win by not losing, hold it tight while restricting the other side No villain song no revenge Will live life in a certain way as long as conditions are meet Tales of ancient kings taught villagers modern doctrines once upon a time Battles at dawn last minute saves days are long then you must fight for your life, the strong prey on the weak If those conditions are not met Ambushes battle from higher grounds support soldiers If those conditions are not met, All bets are off if in the wrong terrain One shot kills? Common but limited to certain ranges need skill Why do conquerors always rule over something barren and unhappy? All bets are off if in the wrong terrain Will be kind, generous, beautiful, happy finite like a dream only if? A moment who knows what tomorrow brings? happy only if? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself wheels are set in motion Who will win who lost its uncertain is it not? As long as he stays at the top and keeps his emotions to himself Theme to keep in mind keptinmind style before content? Theme to keep in mind Who are you writing about? The general or the emporer motha Truletall? Style over substance, drama, high emotions and ideals, style Who are you writing about? pentecost, it all looks great on camera It's sells to everyone lowest common denominator humble? Lawerence of arabia Lawerence of arabia, Where is his place in the world where does his strength come from? Only those that make a difference make an impression the rest are forgotten heroes can be marketers to Can you invoke wonder in others? Makes them happy content? Are the fictional stories the key to building content citizens? Can you invoke wonder in others? Magic ingrediant lets licken take a drink of ka powah ohhhh thats wierd rawrrrrrrrrrrrr pretty colours Hold them still and surrunder to wonder drugs Vatican the name a speaks volumes Best way to lead? Leash or lantern? Express values you personally uphold, make it known weave it into p[olicy law consentCreate a sustainable wonderland Get them to the pearly gates? Express values you personally uphold, Feel ings are strongest at first eventually becomes city of streams in the sky Feelings are strongest at first Use what you know and draw from it implement realise ideas okay stop need to find a bigger word deposit for this Use what you know and draw from it, Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul You can capture a stream of stones scene with light novel characters? Capture a truth-- donsnt need to be plot or fact it can just be expression of the soul Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Everybody underwears do they have colourful polka dots or stripes? Express values you feel personally uphold and make it known weave it into policy Actulizing the world space around World as string theory just visualise IT Hearts are truth flowers, or invisible things Actulizing the world space around World as string theory Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 With enough work Alice can go to wonderland Artifacts that channel archetypes? Any ideas? Go through any door and see what is behind the door number 1 Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Make them do something make laugh, make angry, reinforce values, all these can cause ripple effects? Character- environment- conflict- personality- tone Viewpoint; ( camera-focus) World Overview ; ( wide, mid, close), level of immersion, user Interface Do you have an ending in mind? Is this a linear story or open? ( camera-focus) World Overview ; self cotninuous world, hero can die or get lost Use the walls How do you clone an object How do you give it purpose? Is it alive? Evil? Can you destroy it? Aim for the head? How do you clone an object? He felt like shit It made him angry Will the 'heroes' win? All three of them? Or the lone wolf? The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, no true power behind it You die when you run out of will The cursing spewed from his mouth with out control the day before was meaningless without willpower, The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards He needed an army, and he was going to get one The cracks where showing in the once flawless apartment like castle made of cards How to program madness into little girls though Why was everything an rpg system these days? How to program madness into little girls though How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? How to make cannon fodder at least enjoyable? How to make healers hate healing and love hurting? How to program hating your self and worshiping the king? It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' Something had to be done The children were not tools but lives that happened to be there It was a loss of control he felt with his 'army' He destroyed the room, but he kept going He couldn't stop or even take a break The loss of control mixed with sugur destroyed him Who were you? Why were you here? What did you want? What was that loud sound that felt like ? hear babies crying killing babies in dream? should you feel guilty? Why are you killing them? Breaks the narrative? Stoling innocence and corrupting youth purity is broken good is dead Life is pain, fun is bloody Scream meaningless in the night as the armies edge near stomach churning experience a memory? as loud as death? random pictures? random memories? or is there a purpose to the mad artist painting? recreate implement? a social network or a place for killers to commingle? 'The killer inside me is he really inside all of us? What to dooo I used to be indecisive He was right I fidget and finally trip and mess up a huge gunfight? I writhe around on the ground and get shot somewhere? no I won't 'tonight is a quiet night'? Is the psychosis art? Is this all for show? It goes on steadily, slowly it all gets worse i feel dizzy who am I? what am I? ahh call the master? I better hurry the artist needs time to work wandering around lost in this maze feelings of inadequacy flood me

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