(grace coming out of the void tag)
He mixes Eddie a passable gin and tonic, adding a little squeeze of lime and a couple cucumber slices, while Jeff heads back out to the party.
“So, you and Helen…?” Steve asks. He thinks he sounds totally normal. Casual, even.
Eddie laughs, then stops abruptly. “Oh, shit. You’re serious? I’m gay, dude.”
“Oh.”
“I—huh. I really thought you knew.” Eddie looks thoughtful. He’s frowning a little. “Guess this puts a few things into context. Gonna be honest, I’m surprised you missed it. Hell, I’m surprised Robs didn’t spill the beans one way or another. Love her to death, but our girl’s not the greatest with keeping a lid on things.”
Steve feels a wash of heat in his face, and he’s not even really sure why. “I mean…it’s not like I didn’t guess you were, y’know, something. I thought—bisexual, maybe?”
It’s not totally true, but it’s not totally false, either. Steve hadn’t gotten so far as putting any specific words around what he thought Eddie might be or what Eddie might like, he’d just wondered in a formless sort of way.
“Nah,” says Eddie. “I mean, never say never, but. Historically, no.”
Steve lets the word historically roll around in his jaw, in his back teeth. He feels okay about it, he decides. He knows it’s not—Steve had a serious long-term girlfriend less than a month ago. He’s just always been the jealous type, even when he knows it’s not right or fair. He’s working on it.
Steve gets these stories in his head, is the problem. He gets to thinking like everything’s going to work out because it has to; like all the pain and bullshit will all make sense someday and be worth it.
It’s kid stuff, thinking that way. Sometimes things just hurt, and there’s no point to it. Sometimes pain’s just pain, and Steve Harrington is single at Christmas again, dying slow in a one-horse town.
“Hey, this G&T’s pretty good,” says Eddie. He grins all bright and boyish, looking nineteen again for a second. “Thanks, man.” He tips his glass towards Steve in a little salute, then saunters out of the kitchen.
———
Once, Steve had asked his mom: why didn’t you guys ever move out of Hawkins?
I don’t know, Steven, she’d said. Well, your dad’s job was here. We thought it was a nice safe town for you to grow up in. Don’t you like Hawkins?
Steve had shrugged and said sure and that had been the end of it. He does like Hawkins. He likes seeing familiar faces around, though it seems like there’s fewer of those every year. He likes how safe it feels, because he’s made it that way. He’s bled for Hawkins. Feels like that’s some kind of bond he can’t break. Sometimes at night when he can’t sleep, he grabs his old nail bat and goes to stand out in the woods, breathing hard, waiting for something anything anything to come at him.
Nothing ever has, not since 1986. It makes him feel a little crazy to remember that the time when he fought monsters and Russians was only about three years all told. It had felt like forever at the time. He really had thought that that was going to be his life, his real life. Everything else—school, work, girls—had felt like stuff he’d been doing in his downtime between the real stuff: hauling around ungrateful brats and beating the shit out of the forces of evil like something out of Saturday morning cartoons.
But it’s been six years of downtime, and lately he’s been wondering if that’s just how life goes. Vivid and wild at the start, but then the colors fade.
Last year, he’d gone to Christmas at Laura’s parents’ house. It had been a big house that looked almost exactly like the one he’d grown up in, with twinkling white lights outside; inside was a big tree by a crackling fireplace. There’d been an Irish Setter named Dooley who was pretty great. All the ornaments had matched. He’d had two glasses of white wine and went home by nine to have perfectly good sex with Laura and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
He’d woken up at two in the morning for no reason. He couldn’t grab his bat and go into the woods because Laura had been right there sleeping next to him, so he’d just stared up at the ceiling not thinking about anything as his heart beat faster and faster for a very long time. He’d known then that he had to break up with Laura, even though they’d only been going out for a couple months, but he kept putting it off because it just hadn’t seemed worth it to end things. There hadn’t seemed to be any point.
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I'm really shy about commenting.. but I wanted to tell you how much I look forward to every update of UtB, i drop everything to read when you update. And how nervous I was for Ef this chapter, waiting for Gary to see the destruction of his office. yet so relieved when Gary seemed to understand why Ef did it and so quickly switched to trying to calm *him*! Did he scent/ sense Ef's emotions or did everything just click at once? Anyway looking forward to the next v much ❤️🩹
Hi anon!
Honestly, Gary had no idea why Efnisien threw the tantrum and found it generally baffling. Especially after consecutive days of calm. That's why he said:
‘Why are you so angry with me?’ Dr Gary said.
As soon as he gets a clear answer from Efnisien: 'You keep leaving' - he finally understands and a lot of things come together very fast. But he needed Efnisien to communicate that to him first. But until that point, if anything, Efnisien has been verbally communicating that he wants to be left alone, even forgotten about.
Like, he understood Efnisien was distressed re: the mounting, but Gary didn't innately understand why the office was destroyed at all. And I think he's still putting it together, which is why he starts asking a lot of questions (about mounting, about why Efnisien is angry with him).
We're going to get a lot more information in the next chapter! They finally have a decent conversation, which is sorely, sorely needed.
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Working on belt #2 today. I warped it yesterday and wove a good foot or so, but i had done such a terrible job warping that a few of the threads were totally taut while the others were sagging, and the weaving i had done was so wavy and terrible.... so this morning i redid the winding on, redid the tension, and pulled each warp thread out of the weft individually so i could get my weft back, and then started again. Glad i did, it's going a lot better this time. The warp still isnt tensioned perfectly, but given that im working with a very stretchy wool on a rigid heddle loom, i honestly don't think i'm gonna get a better warp.
I've left extra warp for tassels on both ends and i think ill do some of the beads after all. I was making a few more this morning, trying to carve them as thin as i could, but about half of them cracked. But i do have a handful of various sizes and i think they'll work nicely, especially given that the belt is quite simple and plain, so some huge beads and tassels will stand out and be a good feature.
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